The Livy Method Podcast - Sleep Habits with Alanna McGinn - Spring 2025

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

In this episode, Gina and sleep expert Alanna McGinn get real about why managing stress is non-negotiable if you want to improve your sleep. They start by calling out the myth that a perfect bedtime routine is all you need—because if you're running on high stress, your body won’t let you rest, no matter how peaceful your bedroom is. Alanna explains how hidden stressors can show up as poor sleep, low motivation, or feeling “off” even when things seem fine. From daily noise and social media overload to intense workouts and strained relationships, she paints a clear picture of how stress adds up. Alanna also shares her “stress bucket” analogy, highlights her top three stress-busting tools, and walks through a practical bedtime routine that actually helps. The message? You don’t have to overhaul your life—just start with one thing. If sleep’s been a struggle, this episode is your wake-up call.Alanna McGinn is the founder of Sleep Expert and founder of Good Night Sleep Site. Along with her team, Alanna has successfully helped thousands of families overcome their sleep challenges and establish healthy nighttime habits so they can get the sleep they need.IG: @alanna.mcginnwww.alannamcginn.comwww.thebedtimeedit.comHow to Rid Those 3am Wakings - https://goodnightsleepsite.thrivecart.com/stop-3am-wakings-course/Free Menopause Vision Statement - https://goodnightsleepsite.thrivecart.com/menopausevisionstatement/You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodspring2025To learn more about The Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livi and welcome to the Livi Method Podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 Day Weight Loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews, and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the Morning Live? Want to relisten to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place.

This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple, and Amazon music. This is an opportunity to become curious. And then some things, how do we help you feel less overwhelmed so you can continue on your journey? Keep believing in yourself and keep trusting the process. Just be patient.

All this week we're talking about how your stress and sleep or lack of sleep absolutely can impact you trying to lose weight and also your ability to maintain and sustain your weight. Yesterday we talked to Dr. Beverly David, clinical psychologist on how lack of sleep affects our brain and can affect the choices that we're making. Today we have the stress and sleep management queen, Alana McGinn joining us to not just talk about the importance of focusing on it, but also share a ton of tips with us to help us actually address it and manage

it. Hello. Good morning. Welcome. Hello. Thanks for having me on again. And I'm also like deep in the program right now, day 24. I'm also a Feli Livy loser. So we're doing this. Got my water. Let's do it. I got my water too. And of course, if you're just joining me live and watching live, I am you wondering where I'm at. I am in beautiful St. Lucia at the Harbor club where funny enough, I have been sleeping amazingly. And I think it's because I am removed somewhat from my kids,

from my pets, from work, essentially from my life. Even though I am here and working yesterday, we talked to Dr. Beverly about, it was interesting, about when you're tired, you don't want to do things. But it's doing things, using your energy, even being social, that helps you get that, you know, better night's sleep. And I was thinking, I was thinking of you because people talk about their social battery, how their social battery, they just, like, it maxes out. But really being social, like, really, it's tiring, but in all the best ways

that actually help you get that good night's sleep. And it's a little bit, it's a little backwards. It's a little backwards. Well, it's knowing, it's knowing what your social battery can handle, right? So I am that person where I, I'm an, I'm an introvert by heart. So for me, socializing, my energy level goes real quick. But for others, they have a higher level of social battery, right? So yes, social connection. Connection, in my opinion, is one of our pillars, right? We've got sleep, we've got nutrition, we've got physical movement, and we got connection. And that connection is super important, but not everyone has the same connection levels, and that's okay. You know what you can handle. Yeah. I want to, I want to get into, you've been with us for a while, you talk

about doing the program yourself, and when you used to come on, we used to focus specifically on sleep. And why have you added this element of stress to the conversation now? Well, because in my opinion, stress plays a bigger role in our sleep more than we think it does, right? And I think in this day and age, a lot of... So my focus is midlife women, but also men included. When our stress levels are high, we're not going to sleep. We could be doing all the things. We could be setting up a great environment,

which we'll talk about a great bedtime routine, like all the sleep typical sleep hygiene stuff. But if you are stressed out to the max, you're not going to sleep well. And when we focus on midlife women, especially that 3am wake up is such a common issue right now that can happen for a multitude of reasons. A big part is menopause and hormonal shifts and changes. But a big part is stress management. And if we're not managing our stress throughout the day,

so much of what we do in the morning and the daytime helps us sleep better. You just said it, you're in St. Lucia, you're relaxing, you're in the sun, you're having fun, you're sleeping great, you're managing your stress of home. If you saw my morning this morning with my kids and my partner and getting ready for this

and getting ready to fly to Halifax tonight, it's like, yeah, it's ironic that I'm talking about stress management right now. So just so you know, we do have our menopause learning series coming up in June 2nd. So Alana is going to be joining us in that group to talk about menopause women, whether you're in perimenopause or postmenopause. So we're going to save that conversation for another day. Although at the end of this, you do have, you do have like a free course that people can sign up with to really help with those three o'clock in the morning wakings if you are in menopause, correct? Yeah. Okay. We do. Yeah. Let's talk. Where do you want to start? We start with stress or do we start with sleep? Let's let's dive into stress and then we can get into sleep. Because again, we do you want to start? We start with stress or do we start with sleep? Let's dive into stress and then we can get into sleep.

Because again, if your stress levels are high, that's where you need to start. Before you start implementing all the great sleep hygiene stuff, you got to start with managing your stress. OK. Is it a different conversation for men than it is for women? Do you find that they stress out differently?

You know, whenever I have this conversation, I always feel like I'm insulting men and I'm not. Studies show these things that I'm about to say. So if you're a man watching this, please do not take it to heart. But yeah, you know, men and women handle stress differently. And I think the stress load is very different for men and women. So for women, there is more cognitive labor, right? So there's more decision making, there's more monitoring tasks, there's more anticipating needs. And again, this is not a blanket response. There are some men who are kind of the default partner, the default parent, but primarily that falls on the woman. And as we get older, those stresses increase. And the way

we need to manage stress needs to also build an increase. So I do think there's different, there's actually a study that shows that women per night need 20 more minutes per night of sleep. And the main reason why is because we exert more mental energy than men do. We have more tops open in our brain, right? Again, the studies show this, this is not, I'm not just saying this. So I do think there is a difference. Well, because I know what Tony, he like, I'm, I, my stress and I'm all like, everyone knows like, I'm like, I'm not hiding it. And I'm trying to manage it. And I'm talking about

it. I'm whatever. And Tony is just like shoving it in some sort of deep cavern inside. Yeah. And it, it isn't until there's a breaking point and it starts to maybe like bubble up and bubble over that even show signs of cracking. But that's not to say because where I'm going with this is that people will be like, oh, I'm not stressed. And I'm just like, how can you, like I know you, how can you not be stressed?

So what is, how does someone recognize if they are stressed? Well, going back to what you just said, you might, your body internally might be carrying a larger stress load than it normally does. And you might not even realize it because you've done such a good job at managing it and coping it. I actually, I don't wanna use the word managing,

I'm just dealing with it, right? Dealing with it, yeah. But what's going inside your body is likely telling you a different scenario. So the example that I always use is when I was going through my divorce, I lived with my ex for a year and a half, very stressful. I was taking your program religiously at that point because I really wanted to focus on my health,

walking every day, doing all the right things. So thinking I was managing my stress well, And I had gotten my ear pierced. And I got it pierced in like August. And it just and I have a lot of piercing. So healing for me isn't a big deal. It happens quickly. And this piercing was just not healing to the point where I was thinking of taking it out. Why isn't healing months and months and months were going on. The minute I moved out of that house, and, you know, we got our own house, and the kids were with me, and everything was good, healed like that. So to me, and that's just an example that I use, because to me, that was my body saying, Uh-uh, you are not ready to heal something

as simple as a piercing, because your body was so stressed out, but I didn't feel stressed out, right? So the way you know, you're stressed out, you might not even realize that you are, but it could be lack of productivity, lack of creativity. You're kind of, your energy's zapped, you're not sleeping well, your focus is off. You appear almost more lethargic than you do have more energy when you are stressed out,

when you think that you should be kind of buzzing. You're more, you know, I know in one of your notes it said, you know, lazy or unmotivated. You have that sense of procrastination and laziness. It's not that you're lazy, it's just that you can't take that step forward because your stress level is so high. Well, it's interesting because I always tell this story and I talked about this yesterday, how I had my office in my bedroom and one of the tips from you was like don't work in your bedroom and I was just like, and it's not bothering me. I'm fine.

The minute I removed it, it wasn't until I walked in my bedroom where I noticed how much it was really affecting my sleep, right? We instantly triggered and thinking about work. And I was thinking about that yesterday as I was getting a massage. The feeling of how I am sleeping better here and I'm up early, I'm going to the gym, I'm working out, I'm swimming, I feel fantastic. And a lot of times people feel like that when they're away and then the minute I get home, I am tired, I'm exhausted, I can't get up. So it's kind of like very similar. I removed myself from my situation and then I go back in. And it reminds me of kind of like you can take a fish out of a

dirty fish bowl. But as soon as you put it back in, if you don't clean the fish bowl, the fish is still swimming in the dirty fish bowl. So- That's right. Okay. And stressors are hidden. And I have a list here. And cause again, we might not realize that what we're doing day to day is increasing our stress levels. Cause a lot of our stressors are hidden.

So things like frequent use of social media, right? How often are you on your phone and checking? Excessive news consumption. I mean, news right now is crazy, right? So if you're constantly consuming that, that's increasing your stress levels, excessive noise, frequent travel, intense exercise. Remember, not all stress is bad.

We need stress in our life, right? So, you know, a HIIT class, an exercise class, that's what I call good class or good stress, but are you doing it excessively? That doesn't help your stress levels. Yeah. You know, long commutes in traffic, unhappy relationships. So to manage your stress, it could be something as simple as like you going on a trip, removing

yourself from those common stresses in your life, but it could be just setting those boundaries. You're a yes person, learn to say no a little bit more. Do you need to reevaluate your relationships? Do you need to time box your social media consumption, your news consumption, and all of those things? So it's not, it doesn't necessarily have to be in a complete life overhaul, but monitor yourself throughout the day. How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? How did you sleep that night throughout the day?

How are you feeling in that moment? What things have you done that maybe are those hidden stressors? Same with that night. Monitor that for two weeks and say, okay, this is not a good thing for me to do. that moment, what things have you done that maybe are those hidden stressors? Same with that night. Monitor that for two weeks and see, okay, this is not a good thing for me to do because when I do this, I feel like this, right? So it takes time to figure out.

Well, when I was having a hard go menopause, life, work, family stuff going on, my weight kept creeping up and up and up and up. And it wasn't really until I took a hard line with my stress. And I had to say no. I took a whole year and said no to things that I admitted to. And I think at the end of the day, that saved me. If I would have kept going on and on and on, it just would have got worse.

I love this comment from Dave. Where is it? I learned very young with my first office job how stress can really disguise itself. I've always been aware ever since to ensure I'm addressing anything that may be causing me issues that aren't necessarily obvious. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, stress disguising itself or, you know, like I had four kids, I went through a divorce, I was like broke ass at some point, like, I think I was in denial for like a good,

because I couldn't be, if I recognize what I was dealing with, I'm sure there were some days where I couldn't get out of bed. So I was in denial or felt like there's nothing I can do about my situation. It is what it is. Now looking back and having spoken to so many experts, there's so many things that I could have done in the moment.

I don't know if I would have had the capacity to listen. But yeah, whether it's disguise or you're just in denial, I think. I also feel there's a sense that we feel like we have to push through. So the example, I had burnout when I was going through my divorce, and I know I did. I run my own business, and I had like zero and I'm a hustler. Like I'm a go. I don't celebrate wins. I just move on to the next thing. I'm constantly building and growing. And through that time, sorry, I have a cold. So excuse me. Through that time, I had, I couldn't make a decision if my life depended on it.

I remember talking to the business partner and she's like, do you want me just to send you a list of things you have to do? And I'm like, Yes, because I knew all the things I had to do. But I couldn't knock anything off the list. And that is so not like me. So you feel like you need to keep going. And then there's that guilt, right? I felt that guilt of that procrastination of that lack of productivity, that again, I think it falls on men too, but I think it falls on women harder. I do.

So whether I was disguising that stress or I was just like, I'm good, I just gotta keep moving forward. And when I physically, mentally, energetically couldn't, there was that guilt of that procrastination because it just wasn't like me. And so I didn't want to get that mojo back. It really did. Well, and I think because people, so stress I didn't want to get that mojo back. It really did.

Well, and I think because people... So, stress, like you mentioned, is not a bad thing. It's not the stress. It's that we don't have time to recover from the stress. Someone is saying, please don't laugh, but right now, one of my stressors is the Toronto Maple Leafs. Trust me, Sonya's here with me. She's like, say hi.

She's a huge, huge, huge fan. We're a Canadian now, sorry guys. The anger, the stress. But you know, there are so many different types of stress in our lives. And stress is not a bad thing. It's not the stress. It's your inability to recover from the stress. I think Dr. Alinka, who is going to join us tomorrow and talk about the impact on stress and sleep or lack of other hormones,

talks about how, you know, if you, back in the day, because our bodies are so wired, primitively, if you got chased by a lion or a bear or something, you would, your adrenaline kicks in, you're stressed, and then it would end. And then you would come back and be around family and you would like talk about what

happened and you would calm down. And you'd be better prepared when that tiger attacked you next, right? Yeah. Yes. And so now you are something stressful happens at work, something stressful on the car on the way home when you're driving, you know, you get home and you're stressed because this or that and you watch the Leaf Team and you're stressed and then you go to bed and you're stressed and this or that, and you watch the Leaf Team and you're stressed, and then you go to bed and you're stressed, and we're just stressed all the time.

There's no downtime, there's no recovery from the stress. And that's when burnout happens. So, you know, stress and burnout are different in a way that stress is when you can't function, perhaps, it could be a normal stressor or, you know, more stressors than usual, and you can't function physically, mentally, perhaps it could be a normal stressor or, you know, more stressors than usual. And you can't function physically, mentally about doing something, but you can cope with

that. You can get through it. And as you said, build your resilience to that, right? Burnout is when the stressors are so huge and you don't have the resources around you to help you. And there is that feeling of hopelessness, of helplessness, of lack of energy, your productivity, your creativity is zapped. That's when now you've entered that state of burnout. So there is a difference, because like you said,

not all stress is bad. We need stress to learn to be more resilient, to learn to cope with things, to get better at the next stressor that's thrown at us. Think of it, I always kind of explain it as like a bucket. So think of it as a bucket with a spout on the bottom, right? As the water flows into the bucket, the spout drains out the water. That water that's flowing in is your stressor. So it's stress water and that spout is stress

management. It's all the tools that you put together. And again, you don't have to do them all. Just choose one or two that works for you that allows the water to flow out so if you're not managing your stress that water begins to build and build and overflow and now we're in burnout and as women age as we get closer to mid life what happens is our stress levels increase and our bucket and spout get smaller so all the more reason to learn how to manage your stress. I love that. So you have a bucket, your stress is pouring in the relief, the spout at the bottom is your relief. That's your tips and your tools. Okay. So yesterday behind, if you missed it yesterday, clinical psychologist, Dr. Beverly David talked about what's happening when

you're not managing your stress and what's happening when you're not getting enough sleep with your brain and that how that can affect not only when you're not managing your stress and what's happening when you're not getting enough sleep with your brain and how that can affect not only how you're feeling but the choices that you're making. Today, Alana is here to break it down. She's going to share some tips. And tomorrow, Dr. Olinka is going to talk about how stress and sleep affect your hormones. This whole conversation this week is all about really stressing the importance of managing your stress and your sleep because it absolutely can be impacting your weight, trying to lose weight and your ability to maintain your weight. We had a member, I saw a member who I follow on Instagram last night.

She's a rock star with the program, has been super successful, really has it together and she's dealing with this situation right now with a parent. And she's out there and she's like, I'm like proof that it's not the exercise. She knows how to eat, she's exercising, it's the stress part of it. And I think until you experience that, sometimes you're not recognizing it until it's like, until you're doing something like this, where you're trying to move it down the scale and you're eating all the things and you're doing this stuff and yet it's not moving, or like in our maintenance program and you've been able to maintain and sustain

your weight and then you have some sort of stress or hit you, situational change, and all of a sudden you fall back into old habits. What can we do to manage, what are the mistakes that people are making when it comes to managing their stress and what are some tips for people? So I think the biggest mistake for managing stress is that, like you said, people don't perhaps realize how stressed they are because it's something that they're just coping with day to day.

So I think you need to recognize what in your life is causing you stress. You need to kind of reevaluate your day to day. So like I said, just a simple log, right? Morning, afternoon and night. How are you feeling when you wake up? How did you sleep that night? In the afternoon, how are you feeling in that moment?

What have you done in that morning portion, right? List out all your activities. It could be a work thing, it could be a commute thing, it could be a morning shit show like I had this morning. It could be something like that. Th how are you feeling when what did you do from that after noon time, those li

how did you feel througho monitor it right? So you' are so hidden that we don it could be something as just social media consumption. What are you consuming online? How is that making your brain work? I know you spoke about that yesterday. So a big part of it is just understanding

and recognizing what is bringing that stress in and then targeting that. Like I said, you don't have to do all the things. Something that is amplifying my stress and I, you know, I contribute to it. So I'm just as guilty, is there's so much information now on menopause, on perimenopause, on stress. And you're reading all these things constantly, you're consuming all these things. And it's stressful because you're like, I don't know where to start. What do I do? I need to work on everything? Do I need to do it all? So I'm here to tell you, you don't. The fact that you're doing

this program is a great thing. Anyone watching this is one step that you're doing that is going to help you manage your stress, that is going to help you feel better. And then maybe just take on, you know, find out one kind of management tool. Like I said, setting more better boundaries, removing something from your life that is increasing stress, whether it be social media consumption, whether it be a person in your life that you don't, I'm not saying divorce, but it could be a friend, it could be a relative that maybe you just need to talk to a little bit less. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. They know rather than saying yes, if you are that yes person, I'm setting boundaries on that timeboxing things, just take one more tool and add it to your toolbox. You don't

need to do that. That's why I know I'm going to share a link about my menopause vision statement. And it's something that we'll talk about on the menopause course that you have. But it's there's just so much information. And it's so overwhelming. And we just need to simplify the steps that we're doing. Because that in itself could add to our stress, right? Yeah. Yeah, there's already a lot to do.

And then it's like, you're stressed about trying to manage your stress. Yeah. Deep breathing exercises, exercise what if you could pick the top three things to manage your stress that people could focus on? What would that be? Move your body, for sure. Get out in that fresh air, get out in that sunlight. I am a huge proponent of nature. My house is filled with plants. My windows are open as much as possible. I walk daily providing weather and work permitted.

Moving your body, getting out in nature, getting out in fresh air, so super important. Adding more connection to your life. I think one of the biggest, I don't want to use the word killers, but one of the biggest fault to your health is lack of, it's just living, living that stagnant life, right? Lack of social connection, lack of connection, I think is super important. Eating well, of course, I'm going to promote the program because I'm on it. And I think it's great. And setting boundaries, whether that be boundaries with people, whether that be boundaries with

people, whether that be boundaries with what you're consuming day to day. Um, we might talk about this tech, you know, I'm not a person, a sleep expert that's going to tell you to turn tech off at night because I understand the benefit sometimes of having tech, uh, in your evening hours before you go to bed. If it makes you feel good, but if it doesn't, that's where you need to set your boundaries. So I'm just taking my,

I realized my shirt was on inside out. I am in beautiful, like, yeah. So, is that, and it's not the first time. It's not the first time. I don't, I think it's like, I don't know what it is. It's like I went to the gym this morning, got my workout in.

Feeling fantastic about that. But I think the universe is trying to send me a message. It's like backwards or something. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Someone was, I was just reading a comment of someone that they said, when you said bucket, they heard fuck it. When she said bucket, I heard fuck it. Like that's what you can name it. I actually love that. I might coin it that a fucking bucket. Yeah, it's a fucking bucket.

Fucking bucket. You always you know, one of the things I love you said is like take time during your day to stress the fuck out. Dr. Beverly, you mentioned that too. It's really taking that time and being like, this is my moment. Yes, I do that where I'm like, okay, I'm having a moment. I'm gonna take my moment and then I gotta put my big girl panties on and get on with my day. But taking that time is really important.

100%. And it's normal to do that. It doesn't have to take long. A minute or two throughout the day. I'm all about time boxing. So I have times throughout the day where I do certain things. Whether it's checking social media,

whether it's allowing myself to stress the fuck out. Because we have to, because then you're going to be doing it at three o'clock in the morning when all the distractions in life are gone, and that's all that's playing in your head. And here's the thing, you're still going to probably wake up at three o'clock in the morning and that thought's going to pop in your brain, but this is where you need to start having those conversations with yourself. I worked on that today, I'm going to work on it tomorrow, now it's not the time to do it.

And it's not an overnight fix, but the more you kind of condition your mindset to that, the easier it'll be to fall back asleep. Okay, let's talk about sleep then. What's the biggest mistakes that people make or what's the misconception? Oh my God, I have so many questions. The misconceptions that people have about sleep, the mistakes that they make, what are the big ones? I think the biggest thing was sleep and I do see a change in it,

I think the biggest thing with sleep is that people don't value their sleep health in the same way that they value their other pillars, right? We're always talking about nutrition, eating better, which is also important, moving our body, that physical pillar, but we don't put sleep in the same category. Again, I do think that that's changing.

People like you, people like myself that are including it more in their learnings and their education is so important. When I look at like all of those pillars, even connection, sleep to me is really the base of those because when we're not sleeping well, we don't have the energy to move our bodies, right? We're lacking motivation to do so. We make different nutritional choices. Our metabolism isn't as great. We don't digest our food is great. We tend to crave more carbs, more sugars. We don't have the, the want to be connected to people. We're more, that was me this morning, we're more irritable. We're more moody. We're not pleasant to be around. So sleep is so important. So I think the first thing that we have to do is recognize your own sleep health and evaluate it. Is there things that I need to work on? Is my sleep completely

unraveling or are there some things that I can change to make it better? Again, it's not a, you don't have to do everything. There might just be a few things that we talk about that you have to do, but putting sleep in the same category, if not the most important, with all the other pillars, I think is really important. Yeah. What are your, what are, there's a couple of things that I've learned from you. One is that, you know, don't try to go to bed early unless you're tired. That's a big one. If you wake up in the middle of the night, don't necessarily lie there and be like, oh my God, I'm awake, get up, get out of bed. Yeah.

What else can you add to that? Your sleep environment is probably the most powerful tool that you can utilize to sleep well, and I think that that's so important, and that's something that you can so easily change affordably, right? You don't have to do a complete bedroom makeover. But when you walk into, like you said with your office, right? When you walk into your bedroom, you

want that instant connection between your bedroom, relaxation, calmness, and sleep. Think of it like you want to create that peaceful zone. So what do you need to do to do that? Start off just by clearing out the clutter. You cleared your office out of the bedroom, which is amazing. It might not be that though. It might be like piles of laundry that you haven't folded yet. So you're feeling that guilt or those, you know, hand weights that you haven't used in a week. You're feeling that guilt. Just clear the clutter. Even what you're sleeping with. Like if you're, if you're that person that shoves everything under their bed and we all know those people, like if you're sleeping on top

of chaos, that doesn't add to that calmness and that relaxation. Do you need to, you know, do a fresh coat of paint, a color that makes you like evokes that calmness and that peacefulness. We're going into a warmer season now. Now is the time to switch out that winter bedding to summer bedding. What you sleep on your side of the bed should be for your personal sleep needs. If you share a bed with somebody, I've saved many marriages just by saying, you don't have to use the same blanket because your partner's sleep needs might be completely different from yours.

If you're a night sweater and a hot sleeper, hello, and your partner isn't, you might need a thinner blanket, a thinner comforter, more breathable fabrics, whereas your partner might like to sleep in flannel in July. Cool. Let them do that, but you don't have to, right? Your pillows. So really creating a great sleep environment to really set you up for a good night of sleep is super important. And your routine, your bedtime routine. We do these elaborate bedtime routines for our kids, but then we don't do it for ourselves either. So I always talk about the slowdown hour on this with your community. And that's where you just take one hour before you go to bed, break up that one hour in three 20 minute increments. The first 20

minutes is your stress management is preparing for the next day. It's all the things that is going to be taken away on that to do list at bedtime at three o'clock in the morning. It could just be, you know, I need to make a phone call with someone. I'm queen of sending myself emails because I check my inbox all the time. So anything, the littlest thing, I have to pick up toilet paper. I'll send myself an email, pick up toilet paper, because I just want it out of my brain. I don't want to think about it. So choosing your outfit for the next day, packing kids lunches, packing your lunches, getting your food prep ready for your course, like whatever you need to do. The next 20 minutes is all about you. Pampa yourself a bit, right? It's the brushing of the teeth, it's the doing the skincare, it's the maybe bath or shower, putting on your, you know, pajamas, like all of

those great things. And then the last 20 minutes is whatever relaxing activity works for you that will allow you to, you know, calm your mind, calm your brain and allow you to fall asleep better is what you introduce. So it could be mindful breathing, it could be meditation. It could be, you know, using an app like Calm or Breathe or Insight that kind of guides you through that. It could just be reading. It also could be watching your favorite TV show. I'm okay with that. Provided you're not watching the entire season in one night, there's a show that makes you laugh

and feel good. We all have our favorite sitcoms that we can watch over and over and over again that make us feel good. Do it. I'm cool with that. That's fine. But don't watch the news if that's triggering.

Don't go on social media if that's triggering. Don't go on social media if that's triggering. Stay off of TikTok, those things. Well, because like what I would do to get ready for bed and calm myself down because as soon as it gets dark, your body starts pumping up that melatonin. It signals to the body. It's time to wind it down. This is why eating at night is so detrimental to sleep, not just because your body has to process and digest your foods, but you've already started the wind down process. And now you're making the body focus on digestion rather than, and it really interrupts that deep

and that REM sleep. But find what works for you. So Tony's wind down process is he's right on his phone. He goes to bed, he thinks about driving a car, he thinks about golfing and he's asleep like that. Whereas I need more of that routine. If you think, okay, it's dark after dinner, like really coveting that nighttime routine

and treating it like it's the most important thing you can do, because it's not just good for your body. It's you need it for your brain. And it's great in terms of weight loss or being able to maintain and sustain your weight. So whatever that might look like, I'm glad you mentioned about the TV thing. I know in the pandemic,

people were just watching the same shows they've already seen because it's calm for them. I can watch a show or a movie I've already seen, but the minute I watch something new, I am so stressed. I realized that the unpreparedness not knowing what's to come. I actually have a hard time like that's when I know my stress levels are creeping up when I can't watch anything new. Yeah because it's just a familiar show

100% and just like a familiar sitcom or something that just makes you feel great cooking show could be cooking show a baking show You know a HDTV show anything that just makes you feel good is okay. But you also mentioned bedtime, and that is something that I talk a lot about because a lot of us think that my advice would be to go to bed earlier. And that's not always the case. Sometimes we're going to bed too early

and our body and mind isn't actually ready to fall asleep. So you wanna shorten your sleep onset. You wanna shorten the amount of time that you're awake in your bed. We should be sleeping 85% of the time we're in bed. So you wanna shorten your sleep onset. You wanna shorten the amount of time that you're awake in your bed. We should be sleeping 85% of the time we're in bed. So two things you mentioned, one is bedtime and one is if you wake up in the middle of the night and you're tossing and you're turning

and you can't fall back asleep, what do you do, right? The best thing you can do is maybe go to bed a bit later so that you're falling asleep a lot easier and faster when you go to bed. And also if you're struggling in the middle of the night and you're up and you're tossing and turning, get out of bed. That is hard to do at three o'clock in the morning because nobody wants to do that. But that could be a good decision to make because go into another room, do a quiet activity, don't turn on every light, don't check your emails and don't do any kind of stress inducing things. But it could just be like

reading a little bit. It could be knitting, crocheting, doing a puzzle, like just doing something that's like low stimulation, 10 or 15 minutes, and then try to get to bed again. Whatever you do, don't stress out that you're not sleeping. Like here I am talking about sleep is important and sleep is great, but the worst thing we can do is also just like your program, hyper-focus on it, right? Because what does that do?

That increases your stress levels when you have a bad night of sleep. And everyone has a bad, it's okay to have a bad night of sleep. I think it's about, I think it's Dr. Beverly who talks about being curious, right? Like that's like, be like, hey, I'm not sleeping right. What could help?

What, like try this, maybe try that. And everyone is different. It's not necessarily going to bed early. You might be someone who just does better going to bed later. I'm gonna imagine it's the same in terms of how much sleep someone needs. Is it quality sleep?

Is it quantity of sleep? I know you're gonna say everyone's different, but is there something we should be aiming for? I would prefer someone to get five hours of quality sleep than someone to get seven hours of junk sleep, right? So quality for me, overrides quantity. You do want to be looking at the amount of sleep you have because we go through different cycles while we sleep, right? So if we look at the architecture of sleep, we're gonna be getting longer stints of REM sleep.

That's that restorative sleep that we're gonna get later on in our cycles. So on average, an owl has five to six cycles of sleep per night. Each cycle is about 90 to 110 minutes. So if you're constantly shortening those cycles, right? Only having three or four, you're not getting enough REM,

deep restorative sleep that your body needs for the next day. So that's why you wanna focus on that quantity. On average, we say seven, eight hours, but someone watching could be fine on six. Someone watching could be nine, that's okay. But you also wanna focus on the quality of sleep you're getting, and a big part of getting that quality

of sleep is managing your stress, is having all the conversations that you're having yesterday with Dr. Beverly and tomorrow on hormones and sleep. Like those things are so important to also incorporate into your sleep health to ensure that quality of sleep. Okay. Give me three of your top, like what homework for people this week. So homework for people this week. I want you guys to find at least one or two hidden stresses in your life. So doing kind of what I said, right? Monitoring your day-to-day, a week if you can do it, two weeks if you can do it. What are some hidden structures that are popping up in your life? There might be obvious ones. If

there's obvious ones, tackle those, right? What are things that you can do to manage those stresses? Could it be having that conversation that perhaps you need to have? Could it be setting those boundaries? Could it be time boxing? Could it be, you know, incorporating more physical exercise, doing more breathing routines? That's what helped me this morning. I'm a huge proponent of breath work. So once I do that, my stress levels just automatically go down, right? So find those hidden stressors. Go into your bedroom, walk in, and what is second thing? Walk in and what is the feeling that you evoke when you walk into your bedroom? Is it something that needs to change? Is there just, again, you don't have to spend a lot of money, but what is one or two things that you can change in your sleep environment? It could be what you're

sleeping on and in. It could be the environment around you. Focus on your five senses. What do you need to see, hear, smell, taste, touch to help you sleep better? Focus on that. And then reevaluate that bedtime routine. You know, are there things that you can incorporate to help you sleep better focusing on that slow down hour, right? Real easy, three 20 minute increments. I like that because that first 20 minutes is all about managing that stress. And that's so important. Right. Amazing. Um, I see people in the comments talking about getting up in the middle of the night to go pee. We're gonna have Erin Degagne, who's a pelvic health specialist join us

next couple of weeks. Perhaps it's just normal, your weight's about to drop. That's when you can normally wake up around three or four o'clock time. You should be able to go right back to sleep. If you're waking up excessively in the night to go to the bathroom, it could be that you have some pelvic health issues going on.

So she'll be back with tips for that. Elena, thank you so much. I can just touch on that real quick. As a sleep expert too, if you're waking up consistently to go to the bathroom throughout the night, do you snore? Could sleep apnea be an issue, right? Because if your body is working so hard, I'm not saying that that's what it is,

but ask the person sleeping beside you, how am I sleeping? Am I snoring? Am I stopping breathing? Because if your body is so busy trying to stay alive, basically throughout the night, you're not able to control your bladder. So that could be a telltale as well. Well, this is where if you have a partner

or someone that you're sleeping with to say, what, like, what are you aware of what I'm doing in the middle of the night? Am I snoring? Am I restless? Am I waking up? Like, you know, what, what's, like ask them. I know sometimes I don't want to know if I snore. Do not tell me if I snored, I don't want to know. But this is where-

What's funny is my partner just got diagnosed with sleep apnea. So he is all set up and I'm sleeping better because of him. But now I've started to snore. So I'm like, I don't have sleep apnea though. It's just midlife and sinus stuff. But I'm like, sorry. Listen, as with all of our guest segments,

it's about bringing awareness. It's about having a conversation about your stress and your sleep, and we're hoping that there's moments where you might like, oh, yeah, okay, let me try this. Let me try that. I was that person who wasn't getting great sleep, but I'm like, it doesn't bother me to be on my phone. It doesn't bother me to have my office in my room. It doesn't bother me to be on TV. It doesn't bother me this. I can do that and whatever.

And when I actually listened, it was a fucking game changer for me. You think that you're doing the things where it's not bothering you. And I'm the first person to say I was so wrong. Man, I've been so wrong about so many things. This is why I don't pretend to know it all. I am always open to learning new things. So it's about you figuring out what you need. You need to become the experts in what's going on in your life, in what you need to help support you, not just make changes in your life, but truly live your best life at the end of the day.

Alana is going to be joining us in our Menopause Learning Series that's starting in June 2nd. If you're interested in that, you can go to our website, jeanolivy.com that signed up. But you also have a few things you have. What are you doing? What do you have going on? Share, share, share. So right now, like I said, my focus is midlife women. So in the fall, I'm going to be launching a new program called the Messy Middle Sleep Solution. So it's tackles everything we tackle, not just sleep, but a big part of it is stress management, focusing on better mental health, and having

experts like yourself and different people join me as well and discuss all the things to help us sleep better and help us manage our stress better. A big part of that, like I said, I contribute to the noise, but the noise is out there on menopause. And so I created a menopause vision statement that is a free download that you guys can download. I know you're gonna share that link. And a big one is the 3AM Waking.

So there's a free course right now that you guys, an email course that you guys can sign up for that gives you top five tips on how to rid yourself of why you're waking up at 3AM and how to better it as well. Yeah, and if you have access to this conversation in the group, we'll add that link actually into the copy at the top of the post.

You can reach Elena, go to goodnightsleepsite.com slash freebies, all the stuff that you... And I love that about you, like me, right? We're just like, how can we help? How can we serve? Why are we doing this? And I have a podcast too that you're going to be on soon called The Bedtime Edit. So that focuses on not just sleep, but all the topics in midlife that keeps us up at

night. So that's been really fun to do too. I just had an episode that came out just this week talking all about menopause, but it's geared for the husbands and the partners and the men because a big struggle with that is them just not understanding, right? And rightfully so. So this episode is all about menopause that you can just literally sit them down,

press play and say, listen, this is what I'm going through, this is what I need. And I did develop for you guys. That's called The Bedtime Edit. You can also follow Alana over on Instagram, Alana.Mcgin, Alana.Mckinn. Thanks for everyone for joining us today.

Hopefully you got some good takeaways. I know you did. And of course, Alana, thank you so much. Join us tomorrow with Dr. Alinka. He's going to be talking about how stress and sleep is affecting your hormones. That's a conversation for everyone. Everyone has hormones.

It's going to be relevant for everyone. We'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Alana. Thanks, everyone. Everyone. Hormones. You need well and for everyone. We'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Alana. Thanks, everyone.