The Liz Moody Podcast - 5 Things I Did To Stop Scrolling: How To Put Down Your Phone & Reclaim Your Attention

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, friends, and welcome to the Liz Moody podcast, where every week we're sharing real science, real stories, and realistic tools that actually level up every part of your life. I'm your host, Liz Moody, and I'm a best-selling author and longtime journalist. Let's dive in. One super quick note, I know that 50% of you listening to this episode do not follow the podcast. Take a second now to hit that follow or subscribe button. It is the best way to support the podcast, and it makes sure that episodes show up right in your feed. Go ahead. Do it right now. I'll wait. Trust me, you do not want to miss out on any of our

Starting point is 00:00:35 upcoming shows. They are jam-packed with science and stories that will change your life. All right, let's get right into the episode. Today, we are going to be talking about phone addiction, one of the most highly requested topics that you guys sent in. I am going to share the five things that I think helped the most with phone addiction and the science behind why these work and how we are getting our brains back. First of all, I want to dive into the detrimental impacts our phones are having because we need to be clear on the problem before we can really identify solutions for it. I actually think that this is where a lot of the how to stay off your phone advice falls down because it's just generally like, oh, you know, phones are bad, stay off of them, versus figuring out

Starting point is 00:01:19 the true root negative impacts that phones are having on our lives, which is going to help us identify more specific solutions, and it's going to give us way more motivation. So, the first negative impact that phones are having on our life is that they have robbed us of our ability to pay attention. Phones are designed to provide constant and unpredictable rewards. They are literally designed like slot machines, where you can pull the lever and you don't know what you're going to get, but sometimes you get the three cherries and the buzzers go off and all of this money pours out. That is what phones are doing to us. But the three cherries are an Instagram notification. They're a text. They're an email. And we are checking and checking and

Starting point is 00:02:02 checking. And usually it is not there. But occasionally it is. And occasionally when it is there, it really, really hits. And that creates truly one of the most addictive cocktails for our neurochemistry. I want to be clear. Phones are designed this way. Apps are designed. this way. They are designed to hijack your neurochemistry to be as addictive as possible, so you use them as much as possible. Our phones also create something called cognitive overload, which is when your brain is trying to do too many things at once and it gets overwhelmed and it basically shuts down. This happens because we are exposed to so much information at once. Picture scrolling and you see a heartbreaking story of a person with cancer that makes you cry.

Starting point is 00:02:48 And then you see a self-help person who's giving you a motivational speech. And then you see political commentary. And then you see a funny meme. And it's not even been a minute and you have just ping ponged your brain through all of these different emotional states and intellectual processes. And then on top of that, because of that slot machine like design, we are constantly seeking out those unpredictable rewards. So our dopamine seeking, our reward seeking, basically makes us check our phones in the middle of doing other tasks, like if we are trying to enter our emails, we're trying to work on a project. And that is called task switching, which quickly creates fatigue and cognitive overload. Phones also use up so much time. They are such a big time

Starting point is 00:03:31 wasteer. Research shows that it takes 23 minutes to regain full focus after your attention is pulled away. So every single time you check your phone, you are literally adding 23 minutes to the time it's going to take you to get back into a state of deep focus and flow. Phones also use up so much of our time. Research shows that it takes 23 minutes to regain full focus after your attention is pulled away. So every single time you check your phone, you are literally adding 23 minutes to the time that it's going to take you to get back into a state of deep focus and flow. I call it the 23-minute rule. Every time I'm about to check my phone, I ask myself, is this worth me spending the next?

Starting point is 00:04:14 23 minutes being distracted and not being able to get done what I need to get done. And I can also tell myself, if I can just not check my phone for 23 minutes, I am much more likely to have regained full focus on the task at hand, and thus I will be in my flow state. I will be in my productive state, and I will be less likely to be tempted by my phone. This is all because of something called attention residue, which is basically our brain sticking to the previous thing that we were doing, even if we have switched tasks. We do need breaks. I want to be very, very clear on that. But we are basically constantly taking these little breaks, which aren't even really breaks since they don't replenish us,

Starting point is 00:04:55 and then never achieving a state of true focus. So everything we are trying to get done is taking way longer and we are losing a ton of valuable time. The 23-minute stat is based on incredible research from Dr. Gloria Mark at UC Irvine, who I definitely need to get the pod for an entire episode about attention. Let me know if you are interested in that. And then, obviously, our phones literally just take up a huge amount of our time because they are so addictive and so we scroll even if we wish we were doing something else. The last thing I want to touch on is something that I have experienced quite a bit in my own life and I do not feel like enough people talk about it, which is the life is me syndrome. You know that feeling where

Starting point is 00:05:38 things that you expect to make you happy stop hitting in the same way, like you. like time with your friends, funny movies, beautiful nature. It all just feels kind of meh. This is grounded in real neurochemistry. Our phones are making it so our brains are becoming desensitized to dopamine. Dopamine doesn't care about us having the things that we want. It is about attention seeking and getting. It rewards you for successfully chasing. So you chase on your phone and you get a hit when you find something interesting. And as you see more and more interesting things, you become desensitized, and it starts to hit less when something interesting occurs. So you scroll more and more to get that hit again. And then it

Starting point is 00:06:22 translates to everyday life. Because of that dopamine depletion, experiences hit less. Everything feels me because life isn't a constant reward treadmill. Our brain is trying to restore a state of dopamine balance. It's telling us to seek, seek, seek. It doesn't care about the pleasure of an experience. So when you should be enjoying something, you have this drive to find something else. So we end up in this dopamine-depleted state, constantly seeking, with nothing ever actually satisfying us or making us feel content. Let's start with that. The first way that I worked on my phone addiction was by treating it like the dopamine problem that it was, which means addressing it with dopamine solutions.

Starting point is 00:07:11 One of my absolute favorite ways to restore dopamine balance is based off the research of Dr. Anna Lemke, who we did an episode with that I can link in the show notes. But it is basically to gently press down on the pain levers, which can counteract this pleasure-seeking element of dopamine, and it can bring our brains back into a state of balance. This is literally as easy as intentionally seeking out hard things. I aim for one hard thing a day outside of my normal work and routine. This can be a cold shower or a cold plunge.

Starting point is 00:07:44 It can be a challenging crossword puzzle or it can just be allowing for some discomfort. We live such comfort-filled lives to our own detriment. In the episode that we did together, for instance, Dr. Lemke used the example of walking in the rain with our groceries. I love this research because now when I have hard things in my life, I see them as dopamine balancing opportunities and I genuinely get excited for them. Exercise. It has been shown in study after study to help restore dopamine balance. And while there are a million reasons to work out that we have talked about on this podcast,

Starting point is 00:08:23 that is one that is really motivating to me. If I stick to my regular workouts, I will be less addicted to my phone. I will feel less me to the pleasures of everyday life. I want to keep these short solos as actionable as possible for you. So while there are other ways to balance dopamine, we have whole episodes about it, let's stick to those two, which I personally think are the most impactful. Aim for one hard thing every single day and move your body every day. And also just that mental switch of thinking, okay, my phone addiction is at least in part a dopamine problem and I need to approach it with dopamine solutions. That can be really helpful.

Starting point is 00:09:06 The second thing is really easy and it's been shown to be hugely effective. Turn your phone to gray scale. You can do this in the settings and you don't have to do it all the time. It clearly makes it very weird to take pictures. But it combats a lot of the bright appealing colors, which is one of the little tricks that developers have used to hijack our attention and make our phone so addictive. Try it for just a few hours a day. You will be surprised at how unappealing it makes scrolling. When it comes to wellness, you're going to get the best results by focusing on the big needle movers. A lot of us spend a lot of time trying to optimize that last 1%, which creates a ton of stress and it actually doesn't help our health that much. At the top of the

Starting point is 00:09:51 needle mover list, sleep. And one of the best ways to optimize your sleep is to optimize your mattress, which is why I love avocado green mattress so much. First of all, this mattress is so comfortable. I have the one with the pillow top, which is medium firm, and it's just a dream. I miss it when I travel. It's better than even the fanciest hotel beds. Having a mattress that supports your joints and your body and feels good is going to help you get more sleep and better quality sleep.

Starting point is 00:10:17 But then, on top of that, avocado mattresses are made with certified organic cotton, wool, and latex, and they are made safe and green guard gold certified. They're also Okotech certified, which is the gold standard. I look for it in any mattresses, sheets, or towels that I buy, which means the materials have been rigorously tested for harmful substances. You can actually look for the Okotech standard 100 label right on the product, and I love this part. It includes a traceable certificate number and the name of the testing lab so you know exactly what you're getting. There are no toxic chemicals.

Starting point is 00:10:48 There's no harmful off-gassing. It does not smell like it's going to kill you when you unbox it. This is what I mean. I'm not going to swap out all of my clothing. which is that top 1% of optimization. But by making sure that my mattress and my bedding are as good for me as possible, I literally reduce my exposure during a third of my life, which is a huge needle mover for a one-time swap.

Starting point is 00:11:12 I will also note, and this is a me thing, but I sleep super hot and avocado's materials are really breathable, and it makes me sweat the least of any mattress that I have slept on. And avocado is a certified B-Corp and a 1% for the planet member because caring for yourself and caring for the planet do not have to be separate things. You can get up to 20% off organic mattresses and more by shopping Avocados President's Day Sale right now at avocadogreenmatress.com. That is avocadogreenmatress.com, no code needed.

Starting point is 00:11:44 The number one rule of habits is to make the things that you want easier and the things that you don't want harder. Yet so many of us want to eat healthier, but so few of us actually take the steps to make eating healthier easier. That's where Marley Spoon comes in. What I love about this company and what's different than all of the other companies out there that are doing like stuff in the same arena is that you can customize your choices based on the effort that you want to put in. So if you want them to send you ingredients, so you can make your own 20 minute meal and like get into your chef energy, they'll send it to you to all be in perfect portions so you eliminate waste. Great. That's sorted. But they also have

Starting point is 00:12:21 meals that you can just heat up. They have ready-made breakfast, which is always such a tough time of day to get a healthy meal in. They have grab and go snacks. Everything is made from farm-fresh produce with high-quality proteins and you can select by dietary preferences, including Mediterranean diet, which is the top diet that doctors on this podcast recommend. Also things like gluten-free, dairy-free, low sodium, anything that you need. The food is so good and it's so gourmet feeling like you feel like you're at a nice restaurant. We're talking like chicken Milanese with a crunch cucumber arugula salad or everything bagel salmon with truffle chive potatoes. My favorite recent meal was the creamy lemon chicken tray bake. I had one of those moments where I looked at my plate and I was like,

Starting point is 00:13:03 wait, I made this and so quickly, like so easily. It's just so little effort for so much reward. Marley Spoon just makes eating well feel easy instead of stressful. And honestly, that is everything. This new year, fast track your way to eating well with Marley Spoon. Head to Marley Spoon.com slash offer slash Liz Moody for up to 25 free meals. That is right, up to 25 free meals with Marley Spoon. That is Marley Spoon.com slash offer slash Liz Moody. So remember to get the offer slash Liz Moody for up to 25 free meals. The third thing is to remind yourself that science shows the need to check your phone is temporary. And the less you check your phone, the less urge you will have to check your phone. Remember the 23-minute rule. If it's taking you 23 minutes to get into a state of full focus,

Starting point is 00:13:58 you are more distracted and thus more susceptible to the lure of your phone in those 23 minutes. So if you can make it through that time, you will enter a state of flow, a state of focus, and you will feel the pull of your phone less. I find it so helpful to remind myself that the moments that I'm spending off of my phone aren't only good for my brain in those moments. unto themselves, they are rewiring my brain to make it easier to stay off my phone in the future. They are rebalancing my neurochemicals. Okay, but we are all addicted, right? So how are we not checking our phones in the first place? That brings me to thing four, which is creating physical barriers to being on your phone. Phones are designed to be more powerful than our willpower.

Starting point is 00:14:48 I really, really want you to internalize this. It is not your phone. fault that you cannot stay off your phone. This is literally how it was designed. So we need to create barriers. We need to create friction to make it possible to stay off our phones so that we can rewire our brains and we can optimize our neurochemistry. This means putting your phone out of sight in another room when you're trying to get any work done. Because remember, because of the 23-minute rule, every single time that you are breaking focus by seeing one of those notifications pop up, it's going to take you 23 minutes to get back to a state of deep focus. Our attention is still in part on that message, on that alert, and we're requiring our brains to work to move that attention

Starting point is 00:15:34 back to the task at hand. It means not sleeping with your phone by your head, so it is the first thing that you see in the morning and the last thing that you see at night. Get an alarm clock. Put the ringer for your phone on loud and plug it in in the hallway if you're worried about emergency calls. I promise you there is a solution for whatever excuse that you are giving yourself for having your phone in the bedroom because until 15 years ago, 15 years ago, not that long ago, none of us had smartphones and nothing catastrophic happened. Literally use this phrasing for yourself. If I had to come up with a solution to insert whatever problem it is making that you feel you must sleep with your phone in your room, what would it be?

Starting point is 00:16:21 Take your brain out of excuse mode and into problem solving mode. The single thing that's helped me the most with this is a little device called a brick. And this is not at all sponsored. I just got served an Instagram ad for this thing, which is kind of ironic, I guess, and I was intrigued and I bought it. And it's a little physical square. It's made of plastic. It's about the size of a box of playing cards.

Starting point is 00:16:43 And you can put it on your fridge. You can put it somewhere else in your house. And then you can set which apps you want it to make completely inaccessible. to you, which apps you want to brick, hence the name. And then when you scan the brick with your phone, it makes it so you cannot click on those apps. You'll just get a little pop up. I don't remember what it says, but it's something like, nope, you're trying to reclaim your attention. And then you literally cannot reopen them until you rescan the brick. The reason that I like this is because I tried the app limits. I tried all of that. And I always, always, always just click ignore. With the brick, you have to

Starting point is 00:17:20 physically get up and you have to re-scan it. And if you're out of the home without your brick, you're just out of luck. One of the top rules of habits is creating as much friction as possible around undesired habits. And the brick adds a huge amount of friction. And I found it really, really helpful. It basically turns your smartphone into a dumb phone and I love it. All right. We are at number five. I have created a what do I really need menu. I realize that I was reaching for my phone because I wanted a little treat, a little reward. But then I would scroll my phone and it wouldn't feel rewarding because like we talked about, it depleted my dopamine and it left me in even more of a seeking state. I was rewarding myself with something that didn't make me

Starting point is 00:18:05 feel rewarded at all. So in comes the what do I really need menu. If I am reaching for my phone, I ask myself, what do I really need? What am I looking for my phone to give me right now? Sometimes it's a little treat, a little hit of joy. And then I consult my what do I really need menu and I have things listed that actually give me joy. Like going for a walk outside, spending time in nature, hanging out with Bella, doing something creative like coloring. I've been really into coloring recently or singing. I'm about to start taking singing lessons. I'm very, very excited about this journey. Quick side note because this is so interesting. Studies have found that reading activates and strengthens the networks in the brain that increase our ability to

Starting point is 00:18:51 focus and pay attention. And then another study found that reading for only six minutes, six minutes reduced stress by 68%. That combination of reducing stress and strengthening our attention networks are going to build the neural pathways that make it easier to stay off our phones in the future, making reading one of the most potent phone addiction breaking strategies around, and it's also one of the most pleasurable ones. Even if you do not do the whole, what do I really need menu, I encourage you to make an effort to read every single day because it will help you combat your phone addiction. Sometimes I'm reaching for my phone because I'm tired, so I look at my what do I really need

Starting point is 00:19:37 menu and I pick a thing that makes me truly feel rested and restored, which for me is a quick meditation session, a walk around the block, or just a nap. I've become a big napper recently, and honestly, it has changed my life. Sometimes I'm reaching for my phone just because I feel bored. I find that using the novelty rule, which we have an entire episode about, it is a great way to combat general boredom. There's really great research around novelty reducing boredom. and I find that by filling my weeks and my months with novel activities, I eliminate that general overarching sense of boredom that leads me to seek out my phone. So I list some of my favorite novelty rule weekly activities under that section of the What Do I Really Need Note.

Starting point is 00:20:27 I will link that episode of the podcast in the show note so that you can get the full list of 75 plus options. Changing your environment is also a really great way to reduce boredom. So just grabbing your computer and going to a cafe or into another room is a really good option. It is also incredibly important to note that we feel more bored when we're in dopamine-deficient state. So when you use the rest of the tactics in this episode and you balance your dopamine and you fix your phone addiction, you will be far less likely to feel bored of the first place and you're going to need to grab your phone far less often to combat that. I personally also scroll on social media for a sense of connection.

Starting point is 00:21:12 So on my what do I really need list, I have connection. And under it, I list things that actually make me feel connected, like voice noting or calling my friends or even just going to a public place and being around people. Even if I don't talk to them, I find that's really, really helpful. The last thing that I personally scroll for is because I want to procrastinate. and the 23-minute rule is the most helpful thing for me there because I remind myself that every single time I check my phone, I'm making it take longer to finish my task because it's going to take 23 minutes, 23 minutes for me to regain full focus. Also, sometimes I

Starting point is 00:21:54 procrastinate because I'm really just working too hard and I'm too burnt out and I need rest. So I go back to, what do I really need? I need true rest, not overstimulation disguised as rest. And I see if I can take a nap, if I can meditate, if I can read for a little bit. Everyone's What Do I Really Need list is going to be different. But you can start yours by making a note on your phone and then every time you reach for your phone, ask yourself, what am I really trying to get from this? What do I really need? Write that in the note and then brainstorm a few options that really satisfy that need on a deep and true level. Those are my top five tips for breaking phone addiction, rebalancing our dopamine by doing

Starting point is 00:22:39 hard things and exercising, utilizing the gray scale feature on our phones, reminding ourselves that the discomfort is temporary and every single bit that you endure, you are rewiring your brain to make it easier in the future. We're creating real physical barriers and we're creating a what do I really need list. And then I'm just going to throw a reading in there, too, as its own thing. I feel like it deserves its own spot on the list just because the science around it is so robust. So that can be a bonus one. I hope all of this helps. Definitely let me know what you try, what works, any tips you have. And as always, thank you for listening. That's all for this episode of the Liz Moody podcast. If you love this episode, one of the best ways that you can support the

Starting point is 00:23:27 pod is by sending a link to your friends, your family, your partner, your coworkers, you name it. You're helping grow the podcast and you're helping the people you love change their lives. If you're new to the podcast, welcome. I'm so glad that you're here. Make sure that you're following the podcast on whatever platform you like to listen on. You're going to go to the main podcast page. That's the one that lists all of the Liz Moody podcast episodes and you will see the word follow under the logo on Spotify. And then there's a little follow with a plus sign button on the top right of that same page on Apple Podcasts. This way you will not miss out on any new episodes. They will appear right in your feed every single Wednesday and every single Monday.

Starting point is 00:24:07 Okay, I love you and I will see you on the next episode of the Liz Moody podcast. Oh, just one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, a psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. If you have headaches, allergies, brain fog, skin irritation, or you've been dealing with hormone issues, you are especially going to want to listen to this ad. Every single thing that I just listed has been linked to chemicals and household cleaners. One study found that regular use of cleaning sprays was associated with a lung function

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The Liz Moody Podcast - 5 Things I Did To Stop Scrolling: How To Put Down Your Phone & Reclaim Your Attention

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