The Liz Moody Podcast - Advice Ep! Life Updates, Relationship Qs, & Our Latest Wellness Faves With My Husband Zack

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

The next episode of our advice series, where every month, I’ll be joined by a new special guest. This month I’m so excited to welcome my husband Zack back to the podcast to answer your questions. Liz & Zack’s life updates (nomad life, summer plans, writing a book, & more) the best communication tips  concrete action steps to support your partner when they’re struggling the advice you need to hear if your partner keeps disappointing you what to do when you and your partner are not on the same page about goals & timelines how to really know if you’ve found your forever person Liz & Zack’s current favorite wellness routines + practices  tips for tackling finances as a couple and so much more! To join the Healthier Together Podcast Club Facebook group, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthiertogetherpodcast. This episode is sponsored by: Ness: head to nesswell.com/liz for an extra 5,000 points when you apply for the Ness Card today.  Seed: go to seed.com/lizmoody and use code LIZMOODY for 40% off your first month. AG1: visit athleticgreens.com/healthiertogether and get your FREE year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs today.  Healthier Together cover art by Zack. Healthier Together music by Alex Ruimy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends. Welcome back to the Healthier Together podcast. I'm your host, Liz, no wait. You're not Liz Moody. Yeah, no, I'm Zach. I'm Liz Moody's husband and other things. But today I'm a special guest on this advice episode. Do you know what happens next in my intro? I'm just curious if you remember it. I love you remember. My husband, Moody. This podcast is all about healthy. You live your healthiest, happiest life. Yeah. From blah, blah, blah. Right. Like your gut health, your relationships, your finances.

And those are all real episodes. Those are all real. Look at you. Should I just let you host from now on? I don't think. I have a full-time job. Thank you so much. I don't think people want me all the time.

Yeah. You are one of my most popular podcast guests and I'm very excited to have you here today for the first time in a year I want to say. It's been a grip of time. Let me know if you want me to bring Zach back more often. I think you give the best advice and I got such good. questions when I said that you were going to be on this advice episode. These are some of the best questions I have ever been sent in on the advice episode, just a little bit of context.

You send in questions. We give you advice. I always have a special guest. These come out on the last Monday of every single month. If you'd like your question answered on an advice episode, you can send it to askitlismoody.com or you can just DM me. Should we do a little life update first? Sure. We love a life update. So we're in Mammoth right now. Yes, we are absolutely trying to squeeze out what has been an amazing snow sport season, ski season for me. You hit your days. I did. I hit the goal.

I had set of getting 20 resort days. And then I also took a backcountry skiing this year. It's been a really exciting. Zach did an avalanche course. So if you get stuck in an avalanche and Zach is nearby and I have a shovel and I know where you are, I will do my best to find you. Thank you so much, Zach. Is there anything else you're sort of like excited about or updates in life right now?

I'm excited for summer. We have some really exciting plans. It's going to be in the mountains all summer, Park City and Colorado. We just purchased a new vehicle to drive us around, which is cool. Yeah, what did we get? People are very curious about the car. Oh, the Highlander hybrid. I actually just got my first organic, like, compliment on it.

Yeah, we... Not like our friends where you're standing near them. I mean, you're like, do you like her car? I love the color. Thanks, Mom. No, we're on a hike today. and a bunch of backcountry skiers were getting their gear out of our way, actually. And one of the guys was like, hey, I really liked that car.

It felt good. Yeah. People wanted to know why we chose the Toyota Highlander hybrid. And this is going to sound so gendered, but it's a decision that I did not want to hugely be part of, although we drove it and I took care of the stuff I really cared about. I really wanted the phone thing in the car to be able to hear me because our last car, it could not hear me. It was so mean to you. Did you so dirty?

I would have to, like, talk through. Zach, which speaking of gender, that's not great. So that was really important to me. I wanted like a nice screen to touch things, but people are always like, oh, like, how does it drive? And I'm like, I literally could not tell you if I was driving a race car, a go car, I could probably tell a go car or like a hybrid. Yeah, it drives just like a go cart. So I let you take the lead on this decision. So do you want to say why we picked the Toyota Highlander hybrid? We wanted something with good gas mileage that could tow things because we have towing plans. and also had space for friends.

Friends and all of our stuff. Yeah. Because you like to travel with stuff. I... You like stuff? I don't... I'm actually a minimalist. Sure, but as somebody who lives nomatically, out of a car, basically.

I'm a nomadic maximalist, but a non-nomadic minimalist. I like nomadic maximalist. I'm a nomadic maximalist. The most you could carry on your back. Actually, it reminds me you... was backpacked through Europe in college or whatever. And she always has these photos and, like, talked about, like, being this, like, Europe, I'd say you're of the smaller persuasion as human beings go.

And you would have- I don't know about that. Like, a hundred-pound backpack, like, bigger than your entire body, like, walking around. One of my core memories from Europe is I would just take the backpack and throw it down the stairs at, like, a train station or whatever. And then I would walk down after it, but I just didn't want to, like, carry it. I'm glad you didn't swipe anybody under it. their legs and just make them out of the restate.

Like that I didn't kill any. Yeah. Retrospectively, I'm also really glad that I didn't accidentally kill somebody. Or just give them a really bad day. I hadn't even thought of that, which just really shows my state of mind in my early 20s. Also, I turned in the final draft of my book on Friday at noon. It's been a fun couple of weeks. I think it's been fun.

Are you being sarcastic? No. We've had a blast. I think I am a delight when I wake up early in the morning, work until midnight. and cry at periodic intervals throughout the day. Yeah. Here's some of the best part. Yeah. It's how you know you really put the love into the book.

That's how you know that I really put the love into it. We will have to do a whole episode about the process of writing and creating and releasing and selling like the entire book process at some point. But there was a snafu this week. Oh, yeah. We're going to have to talk about the huge mega superstar who maybe is coming up with a book with the almost identical title. Well, not anymore.

Not anymore. We changed our title rather than ask said mega celebrity to change her title. But I like our new title better. It is better. It's more specific. It's a better title. I'm really happy with it, but it was a last minute wrench. And we'll have to share that whole story.

A nice little teaser. Absolutely. Great teaser. All right. Amazing. Should we get into some of these questions? I have some really, like, I love these questions. They're juicy.

I'm personally curious to hear your response. Oh, that's a great sign. What a great sign. Let's start with, I think this one's so interesting. I don't like my engagement ring and I've never told my husband. I find myself jealous of other people's rings and it makes me sad but I don't want to hurt his feelings because he picked it and was so proud of it but it's not what I wanted and I feel like he didn't listen to me. Do I tell him? So the part of this that breaks my heart is that he was so proud of it. Like he picked it and he

thought it was going to be something that she loved but that she expressed her needs and he didn't listen. So on both sides, it's not great. Yeah, I like this as a starting point. Option one is we break someone's heart. Option two is we feel not great about this thing that we have to wear or want to wear for the rest of our lives. You could pretend to lose it. Yeah, you could definitely pretend to lose it, but I don't think that that's the right answer. Okay, what do you think is the right answer? I mean, honestly, that might be the right answer. Yeah. Marines get lost all the time. Whoops.

Although, but then you're the person who lost the ring and he's really proud of it. So like you're taking a hit either way. Yeah, I think there's a few things to address here. One is what should this person do? But two is how does this person deal with feeling like they weren't listened to in the process? Yeah, because there's a ton of different coping mechanisms. There's a sliding scale of how you want to deal with it if it's a problem you're not going to fix via communication, Which I think what we'll come down to eventually, spoiler is probably, you know, you need to work on.

Like that's the communication bit that needs to be worked out. But you could also wear other rings that you like more that may be superseded. Wait, you mean like at the same time as you guys? Yeah, you know, jazz up your jewelry. I guess the question is if it's like the wrong metal or the wrong stone or makes something totally not work with your stuff. There's always more jewelry one can put on. Would you want me to tell you if I didn't. like my ring. Yeah. I would, but it would sting. And I think the double sting will be,

did I not listen to something you made really clear? And so would you want me to say that I didn't feel listened to? Are those separate conversations to you? How would you want me to approach this with you? I would honestly just bandaid it. I would say it's going to be a bit of a tricky conversation and say compliment sandwich, I love how much work you put into it. I love our love and really want to feel confident and happy representing it, but it's not my style, what I wanted, something else, something else, something else. I think another thing with engagement rings too is there's like a money component, which the question doesn't really specify. Like did they do the best they could with the financial situation that they had? Sure. Yeah. And maybe.

Maybe from a question perspective, maybe a little fact finding. Oh, why did you pick this one? Oh, what was the rationale behind it? I think you actually, God, grilled me on all of those things with the ring I got you. Well, that was because I could not handle the thought that you had designed and procured a ring and I had no knowledge of it. From like a designer that you knew and why. Yeah, I just, I couldn't mentally get my head around the fact. You took a secret trip to New York.

It wasn't a secret trip. I didn't know you were in New York. You went out. You're right. It was a totally sanction trip to Boston with an additional sneaky trip to New York. You went out to dinner with one of my girlfriends, who granted is also one of your friends, and you designed a ring. And so like literally you were proposing to me, and I was also like, well, can I trust this person? The answer is no. They're clearly capable of deception. Yeah, absolutely not. So I had a lot of questions. But yeah, it's a good question to try to get to the bottom of, like, were they listening to you and were they doing the absolute best that they could with their understanding?

If the answer to that question is it was what I wanted for you to have. Now you're opening up a bigger can of worms that does probably need to be talked about. Maybe not in this specific instance, but like generally I would like you to prioritize what I want, especially if it's something I have to wear on my body the whole time. I think I would personally separate it out into the ring issue and the communication issue. And for the ring issue, I would either ask myself, can I learn to live with this ring and find other jewelry that I love? or can I do the thing that many, many couples do, which is like an upgrade at a certain point relationship.

This doesn't match my style anymore. Our finances are in a different place, blah, blah, blah. And then on the communication side, I would ask, do I feel heard? Do I feel listened to? Do I feel like my partner respects, my needs, wishes, et cetera? And I would work to address those separately. Absolutely. And I would totally hazard a guess here that this person is also not necessarily feeling heard

in other aspects of their life. And the engagement ring is a really easy example to bring up and fixate on potentially. I was watching a TikTok the other day. And it was from a woman whose partner spent $20,000 on their engagement ring. And she was like, do I break up with him because it was too little? Like it was too small of an amount. And I was just like shocked. I was shooketh to my court.

One, because I think I have no idea how much engagement rings often cost. You can say how much it cost. Oh, I'm happy to tell you that your engagement. Gatorian costs $5,000, and it was all that I could afford at the time. And you're always welcome to say you would like a big shiny diamond. But it's one of the things that I've really enjoyed is that you haven't said that. It's a fun designer in motion in New York. There's literally her minimum price for a custom ring at the time. And that was just by luck because I picked out stones that I thought you would like. And the biggest one happens like a bi-color sapphire, which,

while, you know, isn't free is not, you know, that diamond. It's not a diamond. And that's what brings up the price for all this. But I love my ring so much and I love how original it is. I love that you designed it. I love the colors. I love how much it feels like me. It's interesting to me this idea that you need a stone that costs a certain amount to like prove your love in any sort of way. And I think a lot of people still regardless of that feel like it is almost like a modern day dowry and that's unfortunate. Oh, that's such an ick way to say it. Sorry. Oh, I don't like that. If you're out there being like, I need a $100,000 ring, that's kind of what you're saying. Oh, all right.

Do you have any remaining advice as the male half of our relationship? I mean, I think the point about communication is critical is just your point about separating them. And then this is something that you can like understand and say, hey, here's a concrete example. But maybe if communication stuff or whatever the kind of root of the rationale coming to that decision was addressed, maybe you wouldn't care about the ring as much. That happens in so many of our arguments. It's like I end up not caring about the thing we were arguing about because we've addressed some sort of underlying issue. Which leads me to the question, what are your best communication tips in a relationship? That's not from a listener.

That's from me. Doing me dirty. I got to review all the questions. Best communication. It's my podcast. I think you're better at it than I am. I think you're actually a lot better at asking questions and getting an answer. Information podcast host. You do a really good job of like getting into the root of stuff, but I also,

oh God, what's the best way to say it? I can't apologize to save my life. You cannot apologize to save your life. I think a lot of people have roadblocks. I have more roadblocks. Yeah. And I think trying to figure out what one's personal roadblocks are and how that might stand in the way of things being communicated between two people. There's totally stuff that I'm just like, I'm going to seize up at that and change the subject or something else like that. And over time, I think especially with you, I'm more comfortable bringing up a subject that would have been uncomfortable or nerve-wracking or just maybe has a knee-jerk reaction of wanting to clam up. But trying to be self-aware in that regard of like what am I doing to close a conversation off or to close communication down. That's a great one.

This is going to be a little gendered again. But I think a lot of women feel like when they're in relationships with men that the man doesn't want to communicate or is more closed off. Do you have any advice for getting your partner to want to communicate a little bit more or to open up and be willing to have those more emotional conversations? Not a universal tip, but communication is about comfort, right? So if I don't feel comfortable saying something, if I think that in saying something, something bad is going to happen, or, I've been conditioned in my life, which I think a lot of men have been conditioned in their life to basically say, like, oh, when I spoke up, I was yelled at or categorically dismissed or when you make somebody feel uncomfortable, they're not going to want to engage.

So make people feel comfortable, right? Tell me if this speaks to your point. I think we have some of our best conversations when we're hiking. Is that because you're expending energy, you're in an environment that you're comfortable, Oh, I've heard that tip too, even with, like, driving. That's a classic Cosmo tip. Oh, Cosmo. Cosmo is like, if you want to have your partner have a really deep conversation,

always have it side by side in a car. And they made it like men like to sit side by side, and that's when they'll open up more. But it's interesting in the context of the point about comfort. Maybe people don't feel like comfortable being under the microscope, comfortable being stared at. So, yeah, I think an activity can 100% do that. But I was even thinking more in terms of affirmation. for opening up. If I introduce like an A, like, oh, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight?

Even like these small examples, like, what do you want to do dinner? I don't care, right? Which the I don't care response being one that people kind of talk about as two passive people who are preoccupied or something else like that. But if somebody's, you know, taking the time to say, hey, I'm trying to figure out what you want to eat for dinner tonight, coming back to them and saying, hey, I don't care, shut down the conversation. Not great. But say, like, not 100% needing pizza tonight. But hey, you know, honestly, in the mood for pizza. Maybe not the best example because it's not like a super serious conversation. Are you saying like meeting people where they are and responding to your partner's bids? Yeah. Bidding.

Yeah. I want to push back on that specific example though because I feel like that is almost always a mental load issue. That's a fair point. The dinner thing is always like I don't want to have to make the decision of what to have for dinner. I would much rather you just take it over from start to finish. But I think your point still really stands. Thank you for that. Yeah, actually that's a bit of feedback.

whatever you want, you tell me some options and I'll just confirm it. There's literally nothing hotter than a partner saying like, I'm going to completely handle dinner tonight. It'll be ready at X time. They handle the picking of the dish. They handle the grocery shopping. And then they just have the dinner ready for you. I picked a clear example. I'm like a little turned on just saying that.

Just narrating to yourself. Since we're talking about mental load, one of the listener questions that we got was how to bring up and discuss the discrepancy in household labor. when it's already been discussed before. It's a good question, Liz. Why are you saying it like that, Zach? How would you say somebody should handle being talked to about household labor if they were, let's say, less engaged with it? So what Zach might be softly implying is that I certainly do less of the household labor.

So this does a lot of household labor, but in our like 20s and to this day, cleaning isn't really her forte. No. And she finds a lot of other ways to be extremely kind of domestically functional, including one of my new favorite things, which is food prep and food planning. Actually, that's a good tip, though, which is I think sitting down and having a larger conversation about for some people, some tasks are inordinately hard and other tasks are inordinately easy and making sure that everybody is assigned to the tasks that feel the best to them,

noting that like there's going to be tasks just nobody likes. But if for Zach, he cleans up the kitchen in the morning, I don't think you hugely mind it. Maybe. And I absolutely hate clean up the kitchen. Waking up every morning to a clean kitchen that I didn't have to clean up feels like the greatest gift on the planet. The amount of satisfaction and pleasure I get out of it is so high. And Zach has said to me that it's not something that's like a huge lift on his

his behalf. Sure. But what about for somebody who said, hey, I hate this, you hate this, we need to split the load on this thing. And I brought it up before. And I feel ignored, which is what I feel like this question is really good. Okay. So one, I think looking for opportunities to outsource is something that is really underutilized. It seems expensive. It is expensive. It's obviously a luxury to be able to do. But I think if you contextualize, it and the amount of money that you spend on clothes, on restaurants, on nights out, if you think about what offloading can do to take away these constant fights that you might have in your relationship, it might be worth it. So that's worth exploring. And you can outsource so many more

things than people think that you can outsource too. So I think that's worth it as one. Two, I kind of want to say like making it feel official in a way, like writing it down, having it on the fridge, having it be somewhere where everybody's always seeing it, Everybody's always being reminded of it and nobody's being put in the position of nagging all the time. Yeah, I was going to say scheduling. Oh, like making a plan. And that's a good tip. Yeah, exactly.

If it's, let's say it laundry, okay, fine. Sundays, we're going to do laundry. We're going to put in the calendar. We're going to do it. And then that way you will at least have some sort of accountability to say, oh, hey, it's 2 p.m. on Sunday. I am here putting all the stuff in the washer and your job is to fold it. Like, here we are again. But, you know, that's not the most time.

But I think having a plan is so helpful for the person doing it and the person who wants it done. It's like not abstract anymore. You're saying at this time on this day and you could even talk about together, what roadblocks do you think you're going to run into when trying to enact this plan? Do you think you're going to be tired? If you think you're going to be tired after work every time you're trying to enact this plan, could we switch it to a different time of day where you'd be less tired? Yeah, I think that's a really nice thing. Speaking of that, and I'm just kidding. I have no segue.

Period sex. Do guys really like it? Isn't it messy? There was like a chore segue. You're like, speaking of chores, it's not a chore. It's not a chore. It's a privilege.

What are your thoughts in period sex? I think a lot of people who have periods are worried about turning a guy off by wanting to have sex during that time. And I will say from my perspective, I love it. And I would be really sad if you weren't down for period sex because one, it helps with cramps so much. Like it's like a natural pain reliever and that is scientifically proven. Two, I have the best orgasms.

when I'm on my period. Not the best, like not ovulation orgasms, but second best to ovulation orgasms. Noted. And I think it's a great thing to do that time of month. So I would be devastated if you weren't down. As a person who has had much period sex in your life, can you please speak for all people? Yeah, let me just speak for all people here. People are going to find things uncomfortable and some people aren't, right? Like some people will, some people won't. There is going to be a whole range. So like the idea that something is, gross. I mean, first of all, it's a bodily function that has to happen. It's not gross. But to say that it's not your jam or not your thing, I think is, well, it's a wasted opportunity, but it's also

something that you're going to have to respect. Really? I find it so unattractive. Like, I would find it so unattractive if you said to me, I don't want to have sex with you in your period. I'm like, well, my period is a quarter of my life. Sure, but you can't make somebody like something that they don't want to do. No, you can. My transition there was going to be how can, for the people out there that are like, it's not my jam, it's something that I find blank. I would say, you know, how are we making that better for them?

But I'm also kind of like, the emotional labor really shouldn't be on the person who's menstruating. It's enough work as it is. Yeah. Like, just get me seized chocolate and give me an orgasm. It doesn't feel like so much to ask for. The way the question is asked, is it gross? Not objectively.

No. Is it something that guys should do, right? Will I be able to make people do it who don't want to do it? Absolutely. Do any of your guy friends find it gross? I don't know any of my friends who have an issue with it. I think like there are ways to plan your life around not being kind of caught off guard by it, right? Like definitely no one likes like, oh man, white sheets.

Yeah, yeah. Like, whoopsies. Put a towel down. Or shower sex. Shower. Shower. I feel like shower sex during your period is like excellent. I think that's a great entry into period sex is shower sex.

And then with shower sex you get to ask all these questions about what makes good shower sex for you. So that gets just an exploration. For me, 100% it's having the nozzle. What's it called? The thing where the water comes out of, the spigot. Go on. The shower head. Yeah.

The shower head not angling too much at you so that it's not washing away natural lubrication. Yeah, that's a great thing. You want to have it be keeping you warm, but not washing away everything. Right. You're like, I need to point this thing at the lower legs. Yeah, that's like, that's what makes shower sex good, I think. But I think a lot of people might be just looking for reassurance that it's not something that they should be embarrassed about and that it's not something they should be afraid to ask for. So I'm curious what you think about that.

You should definitely not be afraid to ask for it. And that's actually a really good point. If you don't know what your partner's reaction is to it, and they're like, oh, I just thought you didn't like to. Yeah. Like, oh, I thought you thought it was gross. I'm cool. A lot of people might be surprised by how little their partner cares.

Because I get to be around you and your guy friends having these conversations shooting the shit. And I would say, like, I don't think they're like, yes, period sex. It's my very favorite thing. But I think they're all just kind of like, whatever. Like, it doesn't make a difference. I'm stoked to be having sex no matter what. Truly makes no difference in the world.

Yeah. So pro. Yeah, sure. Also, in some ways, it's good because, again, if it's my second best orgasm of the month, that's something that you would enjoy. No, I want like a back massage during the, I want to be fed sees candy with the back massage. Sure, but are you sure it's not the candy that's doing it for you? I really can't say.

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I'm trying to find one that'll be a good compliment for me. Oh, this is a fun one. Your biggest insecurities, weaknesses, and how you support each other through that. It sounds like I'm cheating, but I'm going to say my anxiety. Why would that be cheating? Just because it's not that interesting. I feel like everybody's like, well, as we know you have anxiety, like, be quiet about the anxiety. It's even harder to be an anxious person because it's such a basic affliction because so many people are anxious.

And you're like, ugh. It's like, you know. Can I be original in my suffering? Exactly. But there's so many interesting little ways that you support me through my anxiety from these larger ways where I'm having panic attacks. I'm just going to say two very specific examples. that came to my head off the top of my head, that you not only helped me through my anxiety so

well, but helped me absolutely live my best life with my anxiety. So one example was we went snowshoing, like the second day that we got to Mammoth, and I'm just learning to snowshoe. And we come across this huge lake that's completely covered in snow, completely surrounded by mountains. It's absolutely beautiful. You say to me, let's go out in the middle of the lake because you're like an adventure or golden retriever essentially.

And I'm like, absolutely no way. The lake could break. We could fall through. We will drown and freeze to death at the same time. It just doesn't sound great. And you were like, I think you're going to regret not going out on this lake. It is completely safe. Will you trust me?

And I said, if you're going to put it like that, I suppose I have to. And I followed you out onto this lake. And it was this magical experience, both because of what we saw, but also, because I felt like I was conquering this fear and I feel like having you by my side makes me feel so much more capable of conquering my fears in a way that makes my life better. And then the second example is much simpler and quicker, but I've been incredibly anxious for the last few weeks. The book stuff and a bunch of other stuff that we don't need to get into right now.

And you said to me, have you been working out? And I said, I have not, I've been waking up and having to work essentially from the moment that I wake up until 11 or 12 at night. And you said, I need to insist that you work out again because it is so helpful for your mental health. And whenever you are working out, you always tell me that it feels so good for your anxiety. It makes you feel so much happier. It makes you feel so much more energized. I need to ask that you reintegrate a workout routine into your life. So those are just two very specific examples.

but I feel like that kind of stuff happens all the time. When people talk about supporting a partner with anxiety, I think they picture like holding somebody and rubbing their back when they're having a panic attack. And you do that great too. You're so helpful in these moments of acute anxiety. You're so helpful in tucking me down out of my spiraling thoughts and all of that. But there's all these, like, teeny, tiny, incredibly specific ways

that you've been such a supportive partner to me through my anxiety. and I really appreciate it. Well, that's really wonderful to hear. It's good feedback, actually, because you never know exactly what you do that has the most memorable impact. And sometimes historically, I feel like I'll say something to you

and you won't necessarily hear it because it comes from me, or at least I don't think you hear it because it comes from me. And I think realistically, what happens when I think that is that I'm not saying it in a way that you can hear. And I've actually been paying

more attention when like one of your girlfriend says something or when someone else is something or when I say something. And I'm like, oh, wow, that really resonated with Liz. And I've been trying to incorporate that more into when we say things. Because you're an interesting case of like, you don't necessarily like to have things like super rationalized, right? I can't say you're way more likely to die in a car crash. So plane flight should be simple and easy for you. That's not going to work. But I have found that you are motivated by experiences, right? And you're motivated. by what you want to do with life. This flight might be scary, but you're going to be so happy you took this trip.

Think about all these great things we're going to do when we get there. Like yada, yada, yada to stay with the airplane metaphor. What's one of your insecurities or weaknesses and how have I been incredibly helpful for it? I don't have any weaknesses. What are you talking about? It's a crazy question. I think generally you've supported me being more open. I generally hold my cards pretty close to my chest.

What bothers me and what gets to me? It's been a really long, drawing. out process of basically you getting me to be more in touch with my feelings, but also more capable of communicating needs and wants. I'm generally more of a people pleaser. So I'm just like, oh, like, whatever makes people comfortable and happy and da-da-da-da. And actually being able to articulate like, oh, no, this is something I have right now as like a real need, I think is a reflection of support that you've given me. I love that. Just to go back to the anxiety thing for a second because I got a lot of listener questions about how to support a partner with anxiety.

I'd be curious your tips outside of what we just talked about. But I would say my two things are to reference that. One, looking for those little specific moments and ways that you can help them be the person that they want to be through those moments, which includes figuring out what person do they want to be, what motivates them, et cetera, et cetera. Snacks, living their best life. You know, there's a whole. Just like one of the new, what is it, the cheap?

snaps like on a little like fishing rod ahead of you just to like get you down the trail. They're so good. That's like our gas station snack when we're nomading and it's delightful. Cheez it's been coming out with just some crazy-ass flavors. Jesus doing the work. And then second, and this is hugely important, is I think when anybody has anything that they maybe wish they didn't have and aren't as comfortable with about themselves, there can be a fear that the person that they love the most in the world won't love.

this part of them and we really want one of the most beautiful parts of having a partner is knowing that they love all parts of you and they love your weaknesses and they love your strengths and they'll be there for you no matter what. So if you're the partner of somebody with anxiety, telling them that you love them completely, that you love them no matter what, that you love them with their anxiety, that you love them as they work on their anxiety, all of these things is really, really helpful. Basically that you're there to take that journey with them is incredibly helpful. We were talking about earlier with the communication stuff, it means that when those things

come up, you don't lead with a negative example of basically being like, oh, I'm so frustrated with this. Like, you're keeping us from doing data because you can say all the, as many times as you want, hey, babe, I totally support you in this. But when somebody is in that lived moment and you know you're frustrated because you can't go to a party or something else like that, that's what's going to stick with somebody. And it's not always easy. There are individual coping strategies that can be for the,

partner with the person with anxiety. Is there anything that has helped you in those specific concrete moments where my anxiety has had us take a different course of action? Literally yesterday, we drove out to the hot springs and we could see lightning on the field by the mountains. And I'm terrified of lightning. And I was like, I'm not going to go in the hot springs while I can see lightning here thunder.

It's just going to freak me out too much. And we turned around and drove straight home. I don't know what your tolerance of risk would have been in that situation. Much higher. But I think you would have gone in the hot spring. So in a moment like that, when I'm like, my anxiety can't handle this, I need to go home, I need to remove myself from this situation. Do you have any advice for being the partners? Kind of like having their good time spoiled a little bit.

The first thing. And I think the core is that life is long. Experiences are not finite in almost every case, right? We will go to more hot springs. And we will go on more hikes. We will go to that party. How many parties do you go to, how many times you go to a bar? If your partner's not vibing it, there's a lot of other really great things out there in the world to do.

And I think that's probably the core foundational thing that makes it pretty easy for me to just be like, okay, go to a hot spring later, right? You know, like, what's the cost? And maybe asking yourself, what am I really losing here? Not what is this surge of disappointment I feel by having to deal with the fact that plans change. And I hate when plans change, you know, because I think that's what. what people get caught up in a lot of is they had an expectation and reality to meet it and that can be really hard. But once you ground it in the reality, you're like, okay, fine, it's a party, it's a this, it's whatever. That's the first thing. And then I think once things maybe get a little

bit more advanced, if you do feel like you're missing out on life experiences, if you do feel like you're not able to do things, that's what not being deeply codependence all about. That's what your own personal life is about. You don't get to go in the hot springs with your partner because they're nervous for lightning? Great. Go find a thunderstorm and go out by yourself. Go stand with an umbrella. Go out there. Bring your lightning rods. We just saw all these backcountry skiers hiking back from the mound today and there was a thunderstorm. And this is like, let's get back to the car. And I was like, oh, listen, there's all these lightning rods just walking right behind us. It's a good point, though, that you and I do a lot of things together. We enjoy

each other's company immensely, but we also do a lot of things separately. Yeah, exactly. Making sure you have a separate life and that you're happy with it, right? Actually, I think that last bit's really key. If you have a separate life and you're unhappy with it and you're relying on your partner for all your good times, I can see why them being anxious and not being willing to do stuff would actually be a big issue, but that means that you need to develop your own life in a stronger, more coherent, awesome fashion.

Zach's advice. Get a life. Get a fucking life. Okay, so that's interesting in the context of our next question, which is my partner of five years has become really boring. Oh, no. He never wants to do anything that I suggest anymore and would much rather stay at home and make dinner or watch TV. We're getting married this year, and I'm questioning the relationship altogether. What should I do?

Well, you should definitely question it now. Don't question the year. Although divorce is always, I think it's funny. People say that, but I also feel like, is it that hard. The wedding's expensive. You're right. I was going to say divorce isn't that hard. Yeah, weddings are so pricey.

I just can't even, I can't even fathom. In terms of things to unpack here, definitely you should be nervous. If your partner has a different set of priorities than you and you're not married, evaluate it. That's something that everybody should be doing, maybe not consistently every single day, but you want to make sure you're on track to have similar goals and ambitions and desires as the person you're going to spend your life with moving forward. So do that. but maybe again, and this comes back to communication,

I would be asking some questions. So, first of all, are they boring for wanting to cook dinner? I think dinner can be a really exciting adventure, especially when Liz does it. But I mean it, like the idea of categorizing their desires and wants as boring strikes me immediately as a little bit of a red flag. Because what that means is your bored. And then that would be the question, why are you bored? What would you rather be doing instead? Are those

reasonable requests? Is there something that you want to do that they explicitly don't want to do? Let's say you want to go out to bars all the time and they don't. Why? Maybe they're tired of something about that experience or maybe they don't get to hang out with their friends or something else like that. So I would say that there are depths to plumb in that question that maybe the person has already done and they only have so much room in the comment box. But I would want to know what, the alternative that you're suggesting is and how that fits into their goals, ambitions, et cetera. And then are there other goals, ambitions, et cetera, that you both could share that aren't

in either of those two categories. Are there things that they want to do that they don't feel safe, articulating? Or is it just that that's what they like to do, that's to lay on the couch and watch stuff, in which case, yeah, you're going to have to ask some questions. All right. So if they are just like, I like to lay on the couch and you know that you don't, the person who wrote this question, like you need to decide whether that's the life that you want to live. And I think that's okay.

That's an okay question. Not the life you want to live, the partner you want to live it with. Because the life you want to live could 100% be filled with whatever alternative activity. But for the time you're swimming with your partner, you'll be dragging them along to whatever you want to do that. Go card derby. I assume that's what this person wants to. to do is go to a go-kart derby. Yeah, that tends to be the top of most people's list. I want to say this

so clearly, though, I firmly believe that your partner should be an expander in your life. I think that we spend far too much of our time with our partner to feel like they are dragging us down all the time. I don't think in every single moment that needs to be the case, like I don't think when I was agoraphobic in London, you were like, well, this is this woman is really expanding my life so much. Wouldn't argue it was an expansive time. But if you feel like on net, your partner is serving as a contractor for you, your partner is making your life feel smaller, making your thoughts feel smaller. Because I also think that being an expander doesn't have to mean going to parties, traveling, living this outwardly big life. It could mean having the conversations that you want to have,

cultivating friendships and relationships with family that you want to have, celebrating holidays in a way that you want to have. I think that Expander can exist in so many different ways, but your partner needs to be an expander for you. And if they are not, you should seriously reevaluate your partner. That is a strong and firm belief that I have. Absolutely fair. And maybe with that, boring needs to be looked at a little bit more.

Is it boring in terms of activities or is it boring in terms of all this other stuff? Yeah, I would agree with that. And then the second thing that I thought of is I had Vanessa Marin on the podcast. You know Vanessa. Yeah, we love her. We love her and Zander. But she said this thing that sex was almost a litmus test in a way. So if you find yourself never wanting to have sex because you are so tired and so burnt out by your life, that is a red flag that you should be looking at your life, making some changes in your life.

I see where you're going with this. so that you want to have sex. And there's five reasons that she cites for low libido. And we talk about that in the episode and this is just one of them. But I think that this could be the same type of thing. If your partner is always tired, they want to stay home, not because they like it, but because they're lethargic, they're burnt out. I think a really beautiful thing that you could do as a partner is maybe start to address

that kind of stuff. Say, what's happening with your work situation? Are there changes that we could make for your life? Are there boundaries that you could be setting? How could I support you to make your life not one that you're too tired to do the things that you enjoy if, in fact, staying home all the time is not the thing that that person enjoys? Absolutely. Checking in on all the mental health boxes as well, anxiety, depression, everything else like that. If you want to be a supportive partner, understanding what your partner wants and needs in this context, I think would be critical.

Okay, we got a lot of marriage questions. I'm going to kind of like paraphrase slash put some together. How and when do you know you're with the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with? And this person said it's been a year and a half and I feel like I might be, but the thought freaks me out and I'm not certain. And I would love for you to answer this in the context of when and how you knew that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. How did I know I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you? I think I knew because I couldn't picture not spending my life with you. at a certain point.

And judging by your smile, I think that was a good answer. But it was the case. You spend time with a person and you intertwine your life with them. And sometimes for the good or for the worst. But I was like, oh, I'm definitely going to marry this woman. I did not want to live a life that didn't have you in it. That goes with there's this psychological concept called distancing. And you can do it in a lot of ways.

You can do it like giving yourself advice as if you were your own best friend. But you can also do it by just zooming out of your own. life and Rick Hansen, who's a podcast guest, called it The View from the Porch exercise. And he said, picture yourself as an elderly person sitting on your rocking chair on the porch and looking back at your life. What choices will you feel really, really good about? And I think that's a really nice way to get perspective on what you want the shape of your life to look like.

And I think that goes in line with what you're saying. I think I pop the question when I was like, oh, I would absolutely regret moving forward and not having this person in my life. which honestly might not be a super amazing answer for a lot of people who are looking at the clock and they're like, hey. I got a lot of those questions. Yeah, I know. I saw. I think it's just one of the really hard things about modern society is we have an infinite amount of choice kind of in the partner.

Oh, I thought you were going to say about timeline. I feel like society is so obsessed with timelines. I was going to get to that too. We have an amount of choice. There's zero pressure to make decisions especially for people who are not necessarily worried about age in terms of childbearing and everything else like that. Although I just want to say that there are male physiological repercussions of having kids really old. And I feel like we never talk about it. And we put all the fertility pressure

on women. And I think it's so hugely unfair. Add it to the fun patriarchal list of stuff. Yeah, yeah. I have the list over here. I'll just note it down. Type it in the list. Yeah. So the deck is stacked against people who are trying to do things on a tight schedule. And then to your point, society makes that tight schedule, I think, seem a lot more pressing and necessary than it actually And I think social media has made it eight million times worse. The way that we glamorize proposals, glamorize weddings, just glamorize having babies, which is just such a crazy thing that is being glamorized for content. And we're constantly comparing to not only what our friends are doing, but what millions of strangers are doing. And our brains are not meant to process. And our brains are not meant to

process that and it makes us have this sense that there is a timeline when there's obviously real biological things to consider if you are wanting to have children but most of the timelines that we are trying to operate on in our lives whether it's for our careers our relationships our friendships our friendships are buying a house our finances most of those timelines are fake and so destructive and they don't have to happen in order and they don't have to i know i was lamenting to you i think it's so cool to get married after you've had a kid there's just something that's so vibe to me about Yeah, we have friends with, they bought a house together, and then they got pregnant, and then they got married. And I was like, that's good order.

I was lamenting to you that I was sad that we can't do that. Like, that option is no longer available to us. Oh, we can do the quickie divorce, pregnant, remarry type of thing if you'd like. Okay. So do the view from the porch. Try to ignore societal timeline bullshit as much as you possibly can. I think we talked about ultimatums in our last advice episode. Yeah.

So definitely go back and listen to that one. And that is the kind of other thing is, if you do. have a timeline and that timeline is important to you, it's, again, comes out of communication, making sure your partner understands your timelines and why they're important to you and doesn't dismiss them. And then basically saying like, hey, these are the things that I'm operating under. I actually think it's such a good point to say if you have a timeline to communicate the why for that timeline to your partner because it also forces you to get clear on what the why for that timeline is for yourself. And then you can ask yourself like, well, is it because my best friend got

married last summer. And I remember we had a literal fight about that when we weren't engaged yet. And I was like, my friend who's been dating her partner for last time than we've been dating got engaged. And you were like, how does that impact or reflect our relationship at all? You know what I mean? But you can reflect on whether it's a real reason or whether it's a reason that maybe feels important to you but isn't concrete in a way, if that makes sense. Should marriage be a real reason? Should marriage be hard work or full of sacrifice. These are terms I hear a lot to describe long-term marital commitment. And I think what we do within the structure of marriage, you know, like kids, all the other kind of stuff, having kids is 100% sacrifice and hard work. I don't know any parent

who would say that there is not those two components tied into the prospect of raising and keeping alive little humans, right? That's 100% of the case. Should it be hard work and sacrifice to have a partner, I personally don't think so. To your point, on net, we're talking about a relationship that should bring more than it costs. And if you're in a partnership that costs you more than you get, then it's an imbalance partnership. Because realistically, there should be divisions of labor, savings. We have single friends who talk all the time about the single tax, about how life is so stacked against single people from costs to labor distributions to just having somebody there to support you when something goes tits up in your life and you need somebody to just

like help with something and they are your person so they will just do it. No questions asked. Easy. Honestly, I think being single can be a lot more hard work and sacrifice. But I feel like this question is talking more about like the structures of family and everything else like that. Well, I think it's an adage you hear a lot that marriage is hard work, that marriage is sacrifice, that the key to a long-term relationship is recognizing that it's not going to be good all of the time, et cetera, et cetera. And I think that's what this question is speaking to. There will be periods, individual short periods of hard work.

There will be periods of sacrifice. Absolutely, there will be. And once you commit to somebody in that way, I do think there's a certain amount of things that, you know, relationships are kind of like insurance, right? Oh, sexy. Well, we don't necessarily all know what we're going to need in the future, right? People get sick. They have awful things happen to them.

And the partner you're with is the partner that generally is the one who shows up for you more than anybody else if something is not great for you. So in those contexts, yeah, absolutely. There is sacrifice and hard work in supporting your person when they're going through a hard time. But if your core takeaway from the daily experience of being in a regular relationship that's not under some sort of state of duress, are those negative feelings and negative experiences? There's probably something more going on. Break up with them. Get out of there. I'm genuinely confused how Masterclass gets literally the absolute top people in every single field to teach every single one of their classes.

I use it when I want to learn things directly, like the cooking class from Thomas Keller has all of the wisdom that you would normally have to go to culinary school for. But also, I'm being honest, this is like a use case I don't hear a lot of people talking about. I'll just watch it for entertainment when I want to do something that's far more interesting than scrolling. Christina Aguilera taught me to sing. Shan Boudrum's Art of Mastering Confidence and Sex Appeal class is 10 out of 10. There's menopause classes with leading doctors. There's script writing with Mindy Kaling. Literally, you name it.

they're on Masterclass and it is such a good way to get off your phone but have something that's like not quite as long or hard to get into as a TV show or a movie and that it just keeps you entertained and interested and you are learning. There are over 200 classes from the world's best all for just $10 a month when billed annually and you get unlimited access to every class on the platform so you can learn at your own pace whenever you want on your phone, your computer, or even in audio mode like a podcast. If you're looking to stop scrolling, and start consuming entertaining content that makes you feel excited and helps you learn, Masterclass is it.

And the best part, every membership comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee so you can start learning risk-free. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at Masterclass.com slash Liz Moody. That's 15% off at Masterclass.com slash Liz Moody, Masterclass.com slash Liz Moody. When you think about strength and resilience, like your ability to feel energized, to recover well, to stay strong as you get older, what do you think that actually comes from? Most people say working out or good nutrition, and yes, of course that matters.

But there is a biological foundation underneath all of that that most people are completely overlooking. I have been diving deep into this lately with the team at timeline and what I've learned has genuinely shifted how I think about my own health. Every single movement that your body makes every step, every workout, every muscle contraction depends on energy produced at the cellular level. And at the center of that is your mitochondria. Here's the thing that nobody tells you, certainly nobody told me, starting around age 30, our mitochondria naturally become less efficient, more get damaged, more become sluggish, and over time that impacts your energy, your strength, your recovery, and your resilience. Most of us respond by pushing more. We're like noticing these things

and we're adding in more protein. We're trying to fix it with more supplements. We're trying to do harder workouts. And those things do help. But timelines research suggests that we also need to be supporting the cellular machinery underneath. And that is exactly what their supplement, Mitopure, does. It contains Erolithin A, which helps your body clear out damage mitochondria and support

healthier ones so that your cells can produce energy more efficiently. Because this is happening to your cells, it's going to impact your entire body, your immune system, your muscles. One study found that taking mitopure increased muscle strength by 12% in four months with no change in exercise routine, it's going to impact your energy, your sleep, your skin, your cell health impacts all of this, and urolithineA keeps your cells healthy. Timeline has done over 15 years of research and testing on this one product, urolithin A, which, by the way, most of us lack the gut bacteria to synthesize naturally.

That's why many of us need to supplement it to get the benefits. This has become a staple supplement for me. It is my top way to support how I want to look and feel as I age. Support yourselves and how you age with mitopure gummies from Timeline. Visit Timeline.com slash Liz and save up to 39% on your mitochondrure gummies. That is timeline.com slash Liz. It's the same thing where like I'm on mom talk. And I think there's a really beautiful thing happening in the world where people who feel like they haven't been able to be vocal about how hard.

parenthood is, are finding their community, they're sharing the real stories, and there's such a beautiful coming together and support and all of that. However, sometimes it feels like people only talk about how incredibly hard having kids is. And I want people to say, like, it's hard, but it's joyful, it's beautiful. Your baby will laugh with you. You'll watch this human being grow up. I want to hear about the good things. And sometimes I feel like marriage can have that same energy where everybody wants to empathize and they maybe even want to share tips and advice and learnings. Like I think we are talking a lot about emotional labor and people sharing those stories is the thing that lets people look at their own relationship and say like, how are we dividing

household labor, including emotional labor, and make those really key changes. But amongst all of that, I think a lot of people aren't talking about just the fact that like marriage is magical and wonderful and living your life with another person is magical and wonderful. And there are so many good things about it. I love that I can like fiddle with your face in weird ways. And I'm just like allowed to do that because you're my partner like will be laying in bed and I'll like squish your eyebrows together. And I'm like, I can't believe I get to do this to another human being. It is a luxury and a privilege. It is a luxury and a privilege. I can't believe that I get to say I would love to cuddle right now. can you please hold me and then you hold me.

I can't believe that I don't have to make dinner often because you make dinner and that I can make dinner for you and that we can divide labor in that way. I can't believe that when I have a problem, I get to work with this outside brain to solve it instead of just my own brain. I just think there are so many phenomenal things about relationships that to view them as hard work and sacrifice does them such a disservice. And there's a lot of things out there that are pushing. people to view them that way.

Okay, let's do two more. What are some of both yours and Zach's current favorite wellness routines or habits? Walking pad. That's what I was going to say. Ha, got you. I'm obsessed with the walking pad. What I like about it is that when we're watching TV or if I'm editing a podcast or reading through emails or just doing these things that I would normally be sedentary for,

I go on the walking pad and I walk for those times. and my body feels so much better because instead of spending most of the day being inactive, I'm suddenly in motion and moving my body and getting my blood flowing. I feel like my brain works better. I just love it so, so much. I think the big find was the tripod standing desk to go with it because that packs up so tiny. I know. People are going to think we're like very high key with our nomad life with our walking.

High key. Yeah, if you're interested in the tripod standing desk, highly recommend. Especially even if you don't live a nomad life because you could kind of. kind of just like take it room to room or take it into the office, take it home. Yeah, that's the other thing too. A lot of the standing discs are huge and heavy because they adjust. I actually really like the tripod one because you can kind of just like flip it around and then go put it somewhere else. I don't know the name of that brand, but it was in my 2020 gift guide.

So if you want to go look up last year's gift guide, it will be linked in there. And then our walking pad, I get a zillion questions on our walking pad. Which one is it and what brand? That's the brand is walking pad. The brand is walking pad, and do you know the model? I want to say it's like the C2. It's the cheaper one. It doesn't have like a running speed and it also doesn't have a bar.

It's literally just a pad and it folds up and it's white. It's fine. I will say it's like it's not amazing. There's things I wish it did that it doesn't do. You're not going to like hit a jog on it. You shouldn't. And it's also not the most intuitive design. Like I still don't know quite how to switch from manual to auto and like these things.

And if you lose the remote, we went to bend with the walking pad and we forgot the remote. at Zach's parents' house and you can't use it without the remote, so that's fun. It's like a good walking pad, not sponsored by walking pad, obviously, but it's good enough. I would say another thing I have been loving is our meditation sessions. Oh, yeah, absolutely. We do a minimum of 10, and up to 20, and we do it almost every single morning at this point, and I love it. Bella usually sits on your lap because she likes you more than she likes me.

Untrue. And I just think it's such a nice way to. kick off the day and I love that it's a habit that we have together. Yeah. I think that you were the one who like discovered doing it with like what are they sound baths or whatever. So you don't have to like make it perfectly silent. You can kind of have it be casual and nice and then get some bird sounds or some gongs. It's a Zen way to start your day. I look up the sonic yogi sound baths on insight timer. It's a completely free app. Insight timer. I don't quite understand how they offer so much incredible content for free. There's a paid level. There's a proversion. There's a very obvious reason.

for it. But you get a ton of content for free and it's the Sonic Yogi Soundbass and he has different ones of all different lengths and we'll just pick the length that matches the meditation that we want to do. Do you want to do? And I feel like you've been on a whole health journey recently because you just completed your first ever marathon. I would argue that completing marathon is an inherently health journey, but I think getting close to in shape for it was definitely very healthifying. And you met your goal time, which I'm so proud of you for. Thank you so much. I mean, for exercise, I probably have a couple of things. My legs get really, really tight for everything.

So I'm huge on like percussion massage do-hickies, like a Theragon or whatever the various ones on Amazon are. Those things are like a lifesaver for me. I don't think I would have been able to do the marathon or ski as much I did without that. You think it makes that big a difference? You use it all the time. It's that or I have to do such a like deep lift for stretching. It's nice to obviously stretch.

and then when you get a little bit too tired, like a long run, like just be like, okay, cabs. Yeah. Here we go. Yeah. Ice baths definitely were a fun thing when I was training cold showers, ice baths, always a good one. I want to give you a shout out really fast for that. You're like my cold shower goals person. I'm good about it, but you're great about it and you can go so much longer than me.

I'll come downstairs or I'll come into the bathroom and you'll be like, feel my skin. And your skin will be icy cold and you'll be like, I just cold shower for five minutes. The cold shower is nice. I do like an ice bath. Oh, you got me the really good amino powder. Keon. Yeah. So that and then I was going to say pre-workout.

I do it afterward. Kind of like my muscle recovery. Because I have like electrolyte powder and stuff like that that I do. But I think the Keons are really good fit for a post run or I'll mix like a little bit in pre or during workout. They're a brand partner now, full disclosure, because I literally reached out to them after I discovered them. and you love them so much. And then I found out this whole other level of benefits for them. But I think a lot of people don't even know how you use them.

It's like a scoop and it dissolves in water. And I think the one I have is like lemon lime, cool lime. I think it tastes good too. Yeah, it's fine. It tastes great. But yeah, I just do like a scoop, the scoop that it comes with after a long run. And I think I've noticed a kind of like, I think it's a recovery speed increase. So I don't feel like my muscles are dying quite as hard the next day.

You know what I mean? And I definitely am somebody who, especially when I was getting up to like half marathon distances before getting over the hump, would have some sleepy leg days or even like kind of cramping up and stuff like that. And you had some injuries before from running. And that's what I was so worried about with you going into the marathon training is I really, really didn't want you to get injured because you're such an active person. and the idea of you not being able to be active just from like a me personal level. Oh, from a selfish perspective. Yeah, from a very selfish perspective. That's terrifying to me.

I picture you just being so frustrated and like just not having a way to burn off all of the energy you have. You picture me like laying on the couch like with like my whole body just like vibrating. Shaking. Yeah, like full of energy. Yeah. So that's what I was trying to look up. My contribution to the process of your marathon running was like looking up every little bit of health research that I could, trying to make sure you wouldn't get injured, trying to do

anything I could to support you, I guess, from an intellectual perspective, since I wasn't going to be able to support you in any way from a physical perspective. I noticed you didn't come out and correct my running form, which would have been a really nice thing to do. No, but you certainly have corrected mine. So I was researching it, and it's essential amino acids, and it took me kind of a long time to get my head around what essential amino acids actually were for, which is why I'm kind of passionate about explaining it. But essentially, they form the proteins that make up all of your vital organs, your muscles, and your neurotransmitters. So much of your body is built out of the protein that these essential amino acids form. So this is the part that I found absolutely

crazy. I know I've told you this before, but I want to tell everybody listening because I think it's insane. So when you're under 30, taking something like Kia on Amino's for muscle recovery and muscle repair is amazing. But when we're over 30, our bodies aren't able to digest and absorb the amount of protein that they were when we were younger. So it suddenly becomes a supplement that can benefit anybody, whether you're doing these crazy hard workouts or not. It's essentially buffering your body from the effects of aging on an internal level. So you're going to feel better. Your body's essentially going to break down less. So you're going to feel better. You're going to feel more energized. You're going to have better blood sugar levels. It's going to be better for your

heart health, better for your immune system. All of these things, it's going to be better for your skin because essentially all these things that were breaking down are no longer breaking down. So that was the thing that kind of unlocked it for me. And I was like, oh, I want to be taking this too. They call themselves the fundamental supplement for fitness. And they are that. Like I got them initially for you, for your marathon training. I pictured myself taking them after, you know, a really long hike or something like that. But I think more than being the fundamental supplement for fitness, They're just like the fundamental supplement for giving your body the tools that it needs to continue to repair itself so that you can live your best life. So now I take it after my daily workouts, even though they're not nearly as intense as your daily workouts.

Don't sell yourself short. Yeah. And I also need to get better about getting back into my workouts. Sell yourself longer. I'd love to sell myself taller. Is that an option? No. It's an audio medium.

This is very tall. Oh. How tall am I, babe? You have the spirit of like a 6-8 person. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. That's so sweet. It's also satiating.

It helps you with satiety. It helps you reach your protein goals. I know that there's a lot of talk these days about protein and how important protein is. And so giving yourself the actual essential amino acids that are the building blocks of protein. Yeah. It's all protein precursor. And then your body can decide what to do with it based off of a good ratio. I think it has like a special ratio of the nine major ones.

Does it? Yeah. Oh, great. Love that. And actually I found out in my research that it's more effective at stimulating your muscle protein synthesis than whole food protein, which like obviously still get the protein itself. Sure, but it's going to be more efficient than having to break something down and then put it all back together. I actually have a code for them because they are brand partner.

Hang on. I can look this up in case anybody wants to try it. Oh, it's a link. Okay. Get Keon and Keon is K-I-O-N.com. So get keon.com slash Liz Moody. and you'll save 20% on monthly deliveries and 10% on one-time purchases. And yeah, I love it.

That's a big one for me too. Do you have any other ones? We do have our little mini sauna, which is like the other side of the cold shower and cold punch thing. The Therisage. I love the Therisage. Nothing like a hot sweat box to get into and make your dreams come true. Yeah. So if you're not familiar with our portable sauna, it is the silliest looking thing on the planet.

It's essentially, it's like a box made a feel. fabric and your head sticks out and there's a little chair in there, which for some reason, they decided to put a happy face cut out on. And you get in, you turn it on. So your head sticks out. You turn it on. You can have your hand stick out too. So you can be on your phone. You can read a book. We'll often watch TV, which you don't need your hands out for. You can wave at people. You can wave at people, which is very disconcerting. And in 20 minutes, you get the best sweat on. It packs up super flat and tiny so we can use it in our nomad life. And I personally, I personally love this about it, and I feel like this is a very under-discussed thing.

But because your head isn't in it, your hair doesn't get crispy. I know, right? And it's so nice to be able to sauna and to not have your hair get crispy. If it wasn't clear that I was being a little facetious. I didn't notice. Is that something that happens in normal songs? Yeah, it's a huge thing that happens in normal sunsons. And they make little sauna hats for it, but I'm not a frequent enough sauna or to have a little sauna hat.

It's actually funny because the place that we're staying in Mammoth has a sauna in the condo complex that we're staying in, but I find myself not wanting to use it as much as I want to use the Therisage. But also, I mean, yeah, it's not on all the time, which is sensible from like an energy perspective because it's like a 15 unit condo, right? But those things take like 30, 40 minutes to heat up. This takes like five. I do not have a code for them. I would love to get a code or a discount. I should reach out to them again and ask and see because people keep asking me for a code. because they're not like inherently cheap, no.

No, they're not inherently cheap. It's one of, I would say, in terms of like, the most expensive things we own that have brought me the most pleasure and have made me feel the biggest difference in how my body, how my energy, all of that feels on a day-to-day basis, I think the Therisage is the top thing. Oh, wow. That's great. Yeah, I love it. And then I put the walking pad not that far below it. Because, again, it's like a little pricey, but both of those we use every single day. Yeah, we're really like, how do you fit the fundamental components of a spa in the trunk of your car and then drag them along with you?

So I'll check it and see if I can get a discount code for the Therasage or for the walking pad, honestly. They just had like a Mother's Day, Hyundai, Hondo off. On the walking pad? Yeah, I bought them for my mom. Aw, aren't you sweet? You're so sweet. Okay. Last one.

Advice on joining finances with a partner. We're both set in our ways. I just think that's a funny one to end on because we did this so poorly. Yeah. Let me tell you how Zach and I joined our finances. We were in the shower one day in New York and we were both very young. We'd been together, I don't know, like two years. We basically reflected on the fact that the entire time we'd been together, we'd flip-flopped in terms of who had money and who didn't. And it was severely limiting our life. Like essentially when Zach had his fancy job out of college and I was unemployed and making our roommates really angry with my reality TV. watching habits. He wanted to travel and go out to restaurants and do all these things and I couldn't afford to do it. And then when I moved to New York and I got a really high paying job and he was just moving out and trying to find a job, et cetera, out there, I wanted to do all these exciting things and he couldn't afford to do it. And we were like, well, this is just making both of our lives

worse. So let's just combine all of our money, share all of our money. And we did that way too early, I think, in the relationship. We also got a cat after a year and moved in together after like five months. This is not the advice we're going to give you that. No, but it's a little bit of context. So we share 100% of our finances, I would say. Like when we make money, it just all goes into the same pot. We put our money in a joint account and then we each have our own separate bank accounts, which I think is a really nice way to do it.

And then in terms of purchases, what do we set as a limit? Over 500, we talk about it? Sure. Something like that. Yeah. So like any sort of like quote unquote big purchase, we will talk about it together. And then I would say on top of that, we are constantly talking about our life goals. We listened to Ramit Sati's book together.

I will teach you to be rich. I would actually highly recommend doing that with a partner. You can either listen to the Romit Sati episode of this podcast or you can listen to his book on audio book, just like listen while you're in the car, listen while you're sitting there. But you'll be pausing all of the time and having these conversations of what are our financial goals? Why are we making money? what are we trying to use our money to make our life look like? And I think having those conversations

with your partner, so you're on the same page about the role that you want your money to have in your life is hugely important. To this individual couple who's saying, hey, we're stuck in our ways. Our finances are currently separated and we want to know if that's weird, right? It's not weird. You can do whatever you want. That's true. You actually don't need to join finances. No, absolutely not. And I know a lot of people, it's not something that they're going to do. There's a ton of reasons that include like debt sharing. If a person has credit card debt and you don't want to split that with your credit score and whatnot, some people have poor financial habits. And it's nice to have the other person in your partnership be a little bit more conservative and have a little bit more control, at least of their own finances so that you guys can buffer a storm if, let's say, someone's overspending. I think there's a lot of reasons not to if you are comfortable with it. And those don't need to be relationship deal breakers. Absolutely not.

And then to that point, it takes five minutes and no time to open a joint account together. You guys could open a joint account together. And then, like Liz was saying, go through the process of figuring out what your financial goals are and where joint saving fits into that thing. It could be for joint investment, for kind of shared retirement stuff. It could be for goals, trips. A wedding. There's a way of having all of it. we've talked about, it was probably pretty stupid for us to have, to have joined our friend

as early as we did. And you can correct me on this. But I think it's fair to say that it came from a certain amount of like money avoidance you had to be like, I really don't want to like have to worry about managing as much of these things, which is dangerous, right? And which I'm working on. And I think if you had been a bad actor, I could have really screwed myself over with that decision. Exactly right.

Exactly right. And so I think that's important to go into with open eyes. It worked out for us. And like you said, like when we were bopping around in our early 20s, we did spend a lot of time flipping sides between who was able to kind of keep the lights on. And that was nice to not feel inherently embedded to one another. Yeah, exactly right there. Yeah. Single text.

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with keeping some of that autonomy and absolutely nothing wrong with, you know, sharing a pot as long as, again, communication is good. Do what's right for you. but definitely listen to Ramit's book with your partner on Audible just so you can pause it all the time and have those discussions it's a great facilitator to have

those types of discussions that can be trickier to have I think Yeah, and to set joint financial goals It takes work to set financial goals right, you've to decide what actually matters to you And it's fun though budgeting and saving and all these things become fun

when you know what you're doing it for and I think that can be really exciting and really bonding. Well, Zach, I really enjoyed having you on as a guest today. My pleasure. And I love you so much. And I'm honored that you would take the time to sit with me and answer these questions. I'm bold over by how good your advice is, honestly. Thank you. That's sweet. You're so wise. Yeah. If you like this podcast, just tell Liz. Be like, oh, my God,

Zach has to come back. And if you don't like it, also tell Liz. Be like, oh, my God, I never want to hear from Zach again. Oh, you want honesty either way. No, I really don't want to either of those things honestly. I won't filter their responses to you. But do let me know if you like Zach on, because he's probably the easiest guest I can have. Come on. If you would like to send in a question to be answered on a future edition of our advice episode, send it to Ask at Liz Moody.com. These are going to be out on the last Monday of every single month. And then we'll be back on Wednesday in two days with one of our normal healthier together episodes. It's a very good one that I'm very excited to share. Oh, yeah. This sounds really great. I love you and I'll see you Wednesday on the next episode of the

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