The Liz Moody Podcast - Advice Ep! SSRIs, Friendship Breakups, Fear of Flying, And How To Know If They’re The One

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

This month’s advice episode features Carissa Stanton from Brocc Your Body, and we’re answering your anonymous questions! Including: How to know when to end an engagement or relationship How to block out outside noise about your relationship & follow your own timelines How to know when to make your passion your career  The BEST advice for making new friends as an adult How to manage a BFF breakup Carissa’s anxiety journey & her recent experience weaning off of SSRIs after almost 15 years Tools for managing anxiety How to help fear of flying And so much more! For more from Carissa, you can find her on Instagram @broccyourbody or www.broccyourbody.com. Seriously, So Good is available for pre-order now and will be available where books are sold on April 16th. To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order my new book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now!  This episode is sponsored by: ARMRA: go to tryarmra.com/LIZMOODY or enter LIZMOODY to get 15% off your first order. Seed: go to seed.com/lizmoody and use code LIZMOODY for 25% off your first month. Needed: go to thisisneeded.com and use code LIZMOODY for 20% off your first month of Needed products.  Osea: get 10% off your first order at oseamalibu.com with code LIZMOODY10. Previous episodes referred to in this episode: Climate Change: What Matters, What’s BS, And How We Can Have Hope - with Dr. Katharine Wilkinson The Ultimate Pet Health Guide: Vet Secrets, Longevity Tips, Stress-Relief & More With Dr. Gary Richter, DVM Anyone Can Become More Optimistic—Here’s How with Dr. Sue Varma The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast.  This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Liz Moody podcast. I'm your host, Liz Moody, and I'm a bestselling author and long-time journalist. This podcast is all about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life, whether we're learning how to remain hopeful in the face of climate change, asking veterinarians what we can do to keep our precious pets alive forever, or at least as long as we possibly can if forever is not an option, or getting science-back tips from a leading psychiatrist to actually become more optimistic. And yes, those are all real episodes. So if any of those topics sound good to you, they are linked in the show notes.

We are back today with another advice episode where I'm joined by very special guests and we answer questions that you have sent in completely anonymously. If you haven't listened to the last one yet with Grissel Lim, I will link it in the show notes. We get into how to know when it's time to make huge life decisions like getting a divorce. The Secrets to Hot Girl Energy. Spoiler alert, it is available to anyone. Real ways to build more confidence, how to start over again at any stage of your life. It is never too late and what it's like to build a mega successful business and so much more. You can always send any questions that you want answered to ask at lizmoody.com,

or I will be taking questions on Instagram the last week or so of every month, so be on the lookout for that. Today, I am so excited to welcome the lovely, the wonderful Carissa Stanton to the podcast. You might know Carissa from her mega successful social media account at Brock Your Body, where she shares delicious recipes and also intimate and real glimpses of her life. Her cookbook is called Seriously So Good. It comes out on April 16th, and it has already topped the bestseller list several times already before even launching. I was lucky enough to get an advanced copy, and trust me, this is a book that you want in your kitchen. Chris is also a real-life friend, so this is very fun and chatty and girl talk vibe of an episode. We get into how to know when to end an engagement or relationship. How to block out outside noise about your relationship and follow your own timelines.

How to know when or if you should make your passion, your career. The best advice for making new friends as an adult. How to manage a best friend breakup, Chris's anxiety journey, and her recent. and experience weaning off SSRIs after almost 15 years. Tools for managing anxiety, had help with fear of flying, and so much more. As always, thank you so much for your amazing questions. Chris and I would both love to hear your thoughts on our advice and what advice you would give anything you agree, disagree with. So definitely screenshot as you're listening and tag us on Instagram. I am at Liz Moody and Chris is at Brock Your Body. And if you think there's anything that would

help a friend or maybe something that that Bridezilla friend of yours needs to hear, you know, send them the episode. There's tons to talk about in this one. And it is the best way to support the show. And it is so, so appreciated. Okay. Let's get right into it with Carissa Stanton. Carissa, welcome back to the podcast.

Our first episode was like in your apartment on the floor. Do you remember that? Yes, I do remember that very vividly. That was like the first time I met you. Yeah. Yeah. And that was like so long ago. It was a really long time.

Was that before COVID? I think it was. Oh my gosh. That's wild. It was. That's so interesting. You've changed a lot since then. You've had a lot happen in your life.

Notably you are engaged. You are single. I know. It was very, very much single when I first was on the podcast. And I feel like that was a huge life transition that I was going through. And now it's like fully come back around full circle. Yeah. Because you had been engaged, right?

Yes. This is your second time engaged. Second time around. Is it? Do you like it more? Yeah. It's much better when you're like for sure wanting to get married. So that's fantastic. So tell me about your love story a little bit. Yeah. So Corey is my fiancé. I don't know why I hate saying the word fiance. It just sounds kind of funny to me. I feel like it's like, really? Really? It's this very specific period of your life. You can say it. And then you're never going to get to say it again. Well, maybe you won't. Maybe you won't. But like likely you won't be able to. So I feel like it's like embrace it. you're right. Yeah, I just feel like it's like fiancé. It's like when people say like croissant. Yeah, croissant. You can say fiance, if that makes you know. My finance. Anyway, my fiance and I, we actually went to college together and we met briefly. Like we weren't really friends at all. We knew of each other. And then I did a salad collab with Alfalfa in Santa Monica. And he was living in Brooklyn at the time. He was visiting his friend in Santa Monica and went into Alfah. Alpha and saw a picture of me with a salad. And he didn't know that I had a food blog or anything like that. He just was like, oh, I know this girl. I went to college with her. And she's like, has a salad here. And so he took a picture of it. And he sent it to me on my personal Instagram, like that I rarely check from way back when and was like, oh my God, ha, hey. And I replied to it two weeks later. I didn't see it. And I was like, oh my gosh, this random guy that I like somewhat know

we follow each other. And he was like, I'm living in Brooklyn. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to be there next weekend for my friend's birthday party. Let's grab a drink. And so we met up and had drinks. It was very casual. But we definitely had a connection. And then he was like, I want to move to L.A. He's from the West Coast. And he's like, I'm going to like do a little weekend in L.A. Let's hang out. And I'm going to see where I want to live. He came that weekend. and then we've been like inseparable ever since. Didn't you literally move out and move in with you? Yes.

It wasn't planned that way. He was looking at apartments. And then we were like, you're going to eventually probably move in. It was one of those relationships where it's like, you know, you know. We like, I love you very quickly. And we were just like, yeah, we're going to get married. And I'm like, okay, maybe instead of a year lease, maybe you do like an Airbnb fully furnished for like six months. And he's like, oh, yeah, let's do that.

So he gets his Airbnb. And then he stayed with me like the week before the Airbnb started. and then just never left. Did you get nervous about rushing the timeline or skipping the milestones or things like that? Yes. And it felt so right everything that we did. But I definitely had some outside perspectives that were like, whoa, this is really fast. Are you sure this is a good idea?

And I definitely questioned it because it wasn't like a traditional way of going about it. I feel like it's like you date for at least six months and then you start talking talking about moving in. Then a year you move in with each other and he moved in, I think it was like three or four months after we started fully dating, which was very fast. And I'm like, we're either going to end up regretting this or it's going to work out. And it totally worked out. Do you have any advice for somebody who might be struggling with the outside noise about their relationship, whatever that outside noise is saying? It's hard because when you are very much in love, it's really easy to block out what other people are saying, even if they are giving you good

advice. I think it's really smart to, regardless of other people are saying, put it into perspective, like, okay, if he moves in with me, what is this going to look like if things don't work out? And I own my home. So we were like, okay, if things don't work out, we'll be back to square one. He can find a place that he's going to live in. I'll still own my home, not putting him on the title or whatever it is. So I think as long as you're thinking rationally and not, making any irreversible decisions, then I think it's smart to trust your gut. And so many decisions are reversible and we don't give them the credit for being that. We act like, oh, what if I move here?

Well, you could move back. So many things we can actually change direction afterwards and it's okay to dip our toes and it's okay to check it out. And often it actually saves time versus pondering and going back and forth in your head for months and months and months. Just do it. That's the same thing that I said when I started doing my blog. Everyone's like, was it so scary to do your blog full time? And I'm like, no, because I kept my job,

my other full-time job, and I did both for a while and I tested it out and I, you know, was seeing if it was going to work. I feel like people have like a very all or nothing mindset or like, I can't reverse it or I can't go back. Was it weird that you bought your home and you renovated it? You did all of these things to make it your space. I just remember when you did it. I was like, oh, what a badass. Like I love seeing a woman out buying a house by herself, making an exactly what she wants, not waiting for anything to do that. Yeah. How was it having him transition into your space?

It was amazing because when I was doing the renovation, I did everything the way that I wanted, but I, at the end of the day, was like, I can't wait to be able to share this with somebody and, you know, start a family here. And I pictured all of that. And Corey is just so chill. He, like, isn't the type of person that's like, well, I want to make all these decisions. Like, he moved in, he was like, this is amazing. This is fantastic.

I mean, your house is gorgeous. I feel like I would be like, sure, I'll move in. Yeah, he was like, great. And he put some touches on it. And he's like, oh, I don't like this. Can we swap this around or whatever little things? I wanted him to feel like it was his too. But yeah, it wasn't weird for me at all.

I don't really feel a sense of like, this is mine and I don't want to share it. I've always been very with my home, like inviting my friends over. And when I go out of town, my friends will stay there. I don't really feel any type of like attachment to it, I guess. How is he with your job? Great. He loves it. Does he think it's weird at all? No. He doesn't think it's weird. He thinks it's amazing that I have a great career that I love and he thinks it's so cool that I cook and make food for us all the time. He thinks it's amazing. He would never do anything and he doesn't necessarily like to be on camera. He thinks it's very much my thing and he's you do your thing and like that's not really what I do. What does he do? He's in tech. He works in tech. He's a nine to five job. He's a nine to five job. He's a, he He is remote, so he works from home, and he is very much work to live, not live to work or whatever. He's like, this is my job and I work it.

And then I have hobbies and other things that fill in my time. He's not necessarily someone that's like very like into his job. And like he doesn't take it outside of work, which I love. And I've learned so much from that because I feel like with us, it's hard to separate work from who you are. My career is me. And if something doesn't go well, I'm like, that's me. That's me failing as a person. He's been really good at helping me be like, okay, it's 6, 7 o'clock.

We're not thinking about work. We're not checking Instagram. We're done. And you're just you now. And that's been so life-changing for me to be able to like shut it off in my head because I feel like I'm always thinking about it. And he's been like, no, we're relaxing. We're going to watch Survivor and chill.

I just did a podcast about diversifying our identities outside of work because I think it's something that a lot of us struggle with is like my work is my identity and it's where we get the most measurable results in our lives, which is really tricky too. If I'm spending my time one way, if I know I can spend it to get this many people to engage with my content and change their lives versus this blobby other thing that I can't really measure in any way, of course I'm going to want to spend it in the former. So how specifically has he helped you diversify your identity? That's a good question because when I like actually think,

think about it. Before when I was single, Monday through Friday, I wasn't socializing and stuff like that. So I would just let my work drag into, like, I'd be watching TV, but I'd also be, like, on my phone, checking DMs. And he's really good about helping me, like, shut it off and being like, okay, you know, no, we're not thinking about work. You're not looking at your phone. You're not doing whatever. We're, like, sitting and being present with one another. So I think that that's been really helpful to just, like, not have it always around. if that makes sense. But like as far as hobbies, I'm trying to figure out a hobby, but I feel like I love cooking. And I think that he's actually helped me be better about cooking and not necessarily

like filming it or feeling like it needs to be on Instagram all the time. Like he'll be like, you know, let's just make dinner and like chill and whatever is. It's fine. I'm bad about hobbies. I need to find a hobby. I read a lot. And Corey reads a lot too, which is great. He's helped me like we're both kindle people. We read every single night before bed on our kindles in the dark. It's fantastic. But yeah, I love cooking. Cooking is my hobby and I turned it into my career, which is so amazing. But it's kind of like I need to start cooking more and not having it just be work.

Like, oh, I can transform this recipe and make it this. I'm like just sometimes lately I've been trying to just like pick up a cookbook, make a new recipe. I'm not sharing it on social media. I'm just cooking and it is what it is. A question I get all of the time is how do I know if I should try to make my hobby or my passion? in my career. Do you have any advice for somebody who's debating that? It's a really, really good question. As someone who has done that, I would say, I mean, definitely go for it. It's kind of like, why not? If you want to do that, you have to definitely be prepared to make your career, your life.

I mean, you have to work really hard to set those boundaries. And to diversify that identity in the way that Corey's helped you do. Exactly. Yeah. My therapist actually asked me this question the other day and I was telling her about how I love cooking and it's my job and I'm like, I still really enjoy it even though it's my job. And she was like, do you think that you would be honest with yourself if you weren't enjoying it anymore? Like would you tell yourself, I'm not enjoying this anymore, even if you really weren't? And I'm like, that's good question because I'm the type of person that's like, yeah, I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. And I think you need to really be honest with yourself. If you do decide to go down that path,

keep checking in and being like, am I still enjoying this hobby even though it is my career? And if the answer is no, then maybe it's time to pull back a little bit or try and enjoy it while you're not monetizing it still. Which is what you're doing right now. I think it's such good advice to be like, here's the part of my passion I do for work and here's the part of my passion that I do just for me. Totally. And sometimes we forget about that second half. Totally. And yeah, just be really honest with yourself.

Check-ins like, okay, am I still? enjoying, you know, putting outfits together and sharing the online, or is it really stressing me out? And I'm, like, not really finding my joy in it anymore. Is it interesting that Corey is a work-to-live person? And does he understand, like, your passion for your job? He totally understands it because we both feed off of each other a little bit. Because he sees me, too, and he's like, okay, maybe I'm going to start, like, he doesn't necessarily want to turn it into career. Maybe we want to start volunteering.

I like that you feel really good when you're interacting with your community. maybe I'm going to take that and apply it elsewhere. And then for him, I'm like, you know, you have all of your chill, relax time where I can totally tell you're not thinking about work, you're not thinking about anything. You're just so zen. And I envy that so much. And I try and take that and put it into my own life as well. So I think we're a really good balance. I love that. Okay. Lots of advice questions about how do you know that you're ready for marriage? How do you know that you're with the one? How do you know that it's time to actually take that step? Does that step even matter? A lot of people ask, like, what's the difference? Why should we get married?

Okay, I love this question as someone that has been on both sides. I feel like I can totally tell people like, this is when you know, this is when you don't. So the first time that I was engaged, I very much felt the need to change at each step that we made. So we were like, okay, we're going to move in together. And in my head, I was like, all right, when I move in with this person, my thoughts are going to change. I'm going to change the way I act because we're moving in together. And I'm not going to have these thoughts of wanting to be single and independent anymore because I'm moving in with my boyfriend. And now I'm going to change. And then, of course, a month that goes by and you start having those thoughts again. And then the next step was we're going to get engaged.

And when we first got engaged, I was so happy because I was like, perfect, this is it. I'm finally going to change. I'm finally going to be ready for marriage because we're making this step. And those thoughts don't go away. Like, I mean, maybe for some people, they don't, but I think for the most part, if your mind is wandering somewhere, it's going to keep wandering there no matter what. So obviously at the end of the day, I didn't get married and I listened to those thoughts that I was having where I wanted to be independent. I wanted to, you know, move to L.A. and explore that and explore my career and I wanted to

date. I didn't really have that much experience dating. And I felt so guilty about that, about wanting to have these different experiences. It was so weird because I was like so many people my age, it was 26 when I was engaged. So I was like, all of my friends are dying to get engaged at this age. And I feel so guilty that this isn't something that I want. So it was a very hard choice. But I think now that I'm engaged, it feels so amazing and I'm so excited to get married. But I don't feel like I need to change anything that I'm doing.

I feel like our day to day is exactly the same. and kind of getting into the next question you asked, do you think that step is necessary? I think it's going to vary for everybody. But for me personally, I was like, oh, yeah, we've been talking about getting married forever. And it's kind of just natural. And I thought that everything would feel the same. But I feel like things actually do feel very different now that we're engaged. I feel like it's very special that we decided to make that next step.

And like I feel like our relationship has actually evolved and like we've gotten close. And you can tell we're both just like very excited and we are really looking forward to this next chapter. So for me personally, I love that we made that step and I love that we're making that commitment to each other. But if it doesn't matter for you and your partner, then, you know, teach their own. I feel like when Zach and I got married, our planning horizon extended. So we were suddenly talking in a much more natural way about us being 85 and what we would be doing then and what we would be doing in our 60s and it didn't feel like if we're still together, it felt like unless something dramatic happens, we are intending to still be together, which changed the way we talked about

our future in a way that surprised me. Yeah, absolutely. And it's really fun. And it's just cool to make that commitment to somebody and know that you have a life partner. We're so honest with each other. And we just know that we're going to be there for each other no matter of forever. And I know that you don't necessarily need like a ring and a commitment. But I don't know. I'm traditional. It feels good. And you know that about yourself. One of the things I love about you is how well you know yourself and how unapologetic you are about what you know about yourself. I'm very much confident about my personal views, but I never want that to come across like I'm telling other people what they should do. I more so just want to inspire other people to feel what they feel and just like go with

that. So a very specific. example of that is you've decided to have a teeny tiny wedding. Yes. Yeah. Which did you get pushback on that from anybody, friends, family members? No. Well, my friends really are sad. They want me to have a celebration and stuff. Say how tiny it is. Well, 13 people. Yeah, family only. Yeah. Yeah. So very small. I've never been a big wedding person and seeing all of the wedding content on social media is so crazy to me. And the prices of everything are just out of control. I feel like it's like $100,000 just to have a normal, like, not even crazy extravagant wedding these days. Well, and we act like that's normal when I freak out spending $100,000 on a house. You know what I mean?

Like at a down payment for a house. Like it's just like there's no other situation in your world. You normalize the amount of money that you spend on a wedding. But in a wedding, you normalizing, you normalize it so quickly. So quickly and it just adds up. Everything kind of like compounds on each other. And I think some people, that's really important to them. And some people have parents that are willing to throw that money down. And that's great. But for me, I would feel so guilty even if my parents wanted to pay that. I wouldn't let them. And I just, I don't know, it's never something that has really appealed to me. I feel such like a personal, intimate thing that Corey and are getting married, it almost feels like it should be between just to us. I like that our immediate

families are going to be there. But I don't know. I'm like my friend's husband doesn't need to be there to see me get married. Like that feels so funny to me. So what advice would you give somebody who's listening and maybe they're not having a really intimate wedding, but maybe they're doing it in a place that people don't like or they chose a dress that somebody doesn't like or there's all these decisions, especially with something like a wedding where people are just weighing in and wane in and wane in and it can be really hard to stick to, well, this is about me and this is about my partner and this is about what we want. Yeah. What would you say to them? That's a good question. I think that your wedding is very much up to you and your partner. And I don't really have a

super opinionated family that's like telling me what to do or trying to like urge me to do anything. They know that I'm going to do what I want to do. So I think that setting those boundaries and being like, hey, this is what I'm doing. This is what is going to mean the most to me and my partner, and this is how it's going to be. On the other coin, though, when it comes to a wedding, when you're hosting people, it kind of is important to listen to other people's input. Like, if you want to get married in, you know, China and your friends aren't necessarily wanting to travel there, then I think it is kind of important that you may be taken into consideration some of those opinions, unless you're okay with having some people, maybe not be there. I'm genuinely confused how masterclass gets

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to put your clothes on. This does not do that. But it does moisturize really, really well. And then again, I'm reducing my skin's biological age. I am not making it just look younger. I am making it actually younger. One Skin has four peer-reviewed clinical studies and over 10,000 five-star reviews. The data backs everything up. For a limited time, get 15% off with code Liz at OneSkin.com. slash Liz. Again, that's 15% off at oneskin.co with code Liz. Well, and I think you have to ask yourself, which do I want more? Do I want it to be in China? Or do I want to have all of my friends there? And you have to be okay with that. I'm a big fan of like, you can do what you want to do as long as you're okay. Same with like bacheloretts and stuff.

Totally. You can do a destination bachelorette if you're okay with people saying I can't afford or I don't have the time or I simply don't want to do that right now. Yes, I think it's so interesting how people think just because they're getting married that they're owed something from other people to, like, show up and go on these extensive trips. It's just very interesting to me. I don't necessarily feel like anyone owes me anything just because I'm getting married. I would love for people to come and celebrate, but if they don't want to, then I don't want them to come. Where do you think that comes from, the owing feeling?

I think it's because it's like a trickle effect. So the first person to get married out of the group does this big crazy trip. and everyone goes. And then the next person's like, okay, well, I'm going to do that too. And then it trickles down. Now I'm at the age where a lot of my friends are having kids and they have obligations and all these other things. And they can't come to bachelorette parties because they have like a newborn baby. And then it gets really sticky because they're like, well, I showed up to your bachelor's party and now you're pregnant and can't come to my bachelorette party and get really frustrated. So that's what I'm seeing a lot nowadays with my friend group now that like we're kind of evolving in that and such.

But yeah, it's a really interesting dynamic. And you don't resent at all if somebody is not wanting to come. Because you're doing a bachelorette, right? Yeah. And you're like, and you come or don't come, I'm totally fine. Yeah. Yeah, I don't care. To the brides out there, can you do a PSA to tap into that energy?

Yeah. You just have to understand that people are going to do what they want to do. do at the end of the day. And I think it's a really cool move to be like, hey, this is what I'm doing. And if you don't 100% want to come, then you don't have to come at all. And then that creates a really nice, maybe smaller group where you can do more things and everyone who's there, like really wants to be there and celebrate you. And it's just like a different energy. A hundred percent. Having four people who are stoked to be there is so much better than having 12 people where eight of them are resentful that they're there.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I would never want that. Okay. You have an incredible group of friends. What is your best advice for making friends, period, but also for developing this like group dynamic. Okay. Great question. My advice for people that are looking to make friends would not necessarily be like, how do I find a good friend? It would be to be a really good friend. I feel like I'm very loyal. And I try to be the best friend that I can be to my friends, which means showing up when I can, checking in, being friendly to their friends who I may not know when we're in group settings, and just really making an effort. So I think that is step one, is being like, okay, how can I be a good friend to the people that I'm friends with now? And then it just blossoms. Like so many of my friends I've met through one friend and then you know you just kind of spirals into this big large group a lot of my girlfriends are from college too where I feel like it's like it's just so much easier to like meet people and make friends in college and we've all maintained a really strong relationship because

we all make an effort and we all really try to see each other we plan group trips and we're all just really supportive of one another I think that's really important too what about making new friends. I know you've made a lot of friends since you moved to L.A. You put yourself out there. You've gone to events by yourself, which a lot of people are terrified to do. It's very scary. So in those initial phases, do you have advice for taking it from like, oh, yeah, I talked to you for a few minutes at a party to like, oh, we're friends now? Yeah, which is so scary, like putting yourself out there and going to events. Like, I did it so much when I first moved to L.A. And I honestly am like thinking about doing that now really scares me, which is so funny. You're not like, you're not like. Like, oh, it's actually no big deal. You're like, no, no, it's really scary. I can't believe in it.

I think about it now. And I'm like, whoa, that was balzy. I just, like, showed up places alone. And, like, half the time I would not talk to anyone and be like, why did I go there and whatever? But I just kept going. I don't know. I think reaching out, understanding that people are busy, first of all, there's been so many times where I've been like, hey, you want to get a coffee. And it's like, you don't hear back. And it's whatever. You can't take things like that personally. but it kind of again goes back to being a good friend like you meet someone and you're like hey you said that you were this is very like L.A. You're have a podcast you're coming out of the book or how can I support you? How can I help? Like you know kind of offering helping hand or if you ever need to talk about anything like I'm here for you or whatever it may be and kind of just putting

some feelers out there and then seeing where it goes. A lot of times people just like want to feel heard and like they have someone that they can come to and talk to and not really putting any pressure on it, I would say. Let's do an advice question about a friendship breakup. Ooh, okay. How do I know if I should break up with a former BFF? She moves so we no longer live close. We don't talk much.

I thought it was just a difference of political and spiritual views, but now I'm realizing I just might not like her anymore. She's been hurtful. Should I go no contact or try to have a conversation? Okay. I don't know if this is the best environment. advice, but I think that there is such an art of just letting people drift apart. And I have so many people that I used to be close with and now we're not really close anymore. And we kind of just like both

acknowledge that and it's fine. I think that sometimes having a confrontation and being like, hey, I don't like the way you said this. It's just never going to end well. And it's going to maybe be awkward when you see them again or create some type of like bad blood. which I just don't love. I think it's so much easier to just drift apart. It's not even like really worth your energy to be like, hey, I don't like the way you said this. It sounds like this specific person. They don't live near each other. They're not necessarily going to see each other. So unless this person really means a lot to you where you think it's worth the effort, and if you think that that person is going to be receptive to your feedback, because a lot of people

aren't, a lot of people are not very receptive when you're saying, hey, I notice it. that you're doing X, Y, Z, they're going to come back and say, I'm not. I'm not. Here's fine examples. Whatever. Maybe this isn't the best advice, but for me personally, I would just be like, we're going to drift apart. And when you get engaged and when you have a baby, I'll text you, congrats, whatever. It's fine.

It's chill. Moving on. How do you get over a feeling of loss or sadness that this friendship isn't what it used to be when that happens? Hmm. That's a good question. I think that you don't necessarily need to get over the feeling. I think that it's okay to feel sad. I mean, life is hard and things like this are going to happen. And I think it's totally fine to be upset that you're drifting apart with a friend and feel those feelings. But at the

end of the day, I think it's just a normal part of life. We have phases of our lives where we're best, best friends with people, and we talk to them every single day. And then people move and things change, and you get in different relationships or whatever it may be. And then maybe you become closer with someone else. I think it's just a normal phase of life and it's totally okay to feel sad. Have you ever been on the end of that where your friend has entered a different phase of life? Yeah. And you want to kind of keep the friendship stronger? Totally. Yeah. That has definitely happened to me where I've been super close to someone and then I notice that they're becoming super close with other people and you're kind of like, did I do something wrong? Like, is it me?

But I think at the end of the day, people are just going to do what they want to do. And for me personally, in situations like that, I just have to be like, I know that I've been a good friend. I'm confident in that. And if that person wants to, you know, spend less time with me and spend time with other people, then I totally accept that. That goes back to your original advice, which is like if you're showing up, if you're being the best friend that you can be. Right. And you have a level of confidence just in the person that you are, which is where I think. think it gets hurtful for some people where they're like, what's wrong with me as a person,

not even me as a friend, but like me as a person. Right. How do you get over that? My outlook is just people are always thinking about their own selves first. They're going to do what they want to do. They're not thinking like, oh, I don't like Liz, because of what she said that one time. They're just doing what they want to do. They're doing what's most convenient for them is my outlook on it. So it's just kind of boils down to again. If you think you've been a good friend and you're giving it your all, then it's all you can do. And I think there is the silver lining that it's so, so hurtful and it's so, so hard, but it frees up your time and energy to find somebody who is going to appreciate how wonderful you are and everything that you can bring to a friendship. Yeah, it's like dating. Yeah.

It's like someone doesn't want to date me, then I don't want to date them. Have I talked to you about match theory? No, what is it? It's my theory that like, I love a good theory. Essentially, we should put ourselves out there as authentically and wholly as possible, as quickly as possible, in friendships, at work, depending on certain work situations, but largely at work, certainly in relationships. Like, go on vacation right away, be your whole self right away, because if they don't like it, like I love that you guys moved in together so quickly. Yeah. Because if they don't like it, like super great information to have, and then you can move on.

I totally agree with that. Yeah. Totally agree. Okay. My friends are not enthusiastic about my new hobby, spoken word, and they don't come to my open mic nights. Why don't they understand it means so much to me? Okay, that's really sad.

That's what I'm saying. Those aren't good friends. You have to show up for your friends and do things, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You got to do it. You got to show up for your people. I'm trying to think of what I would do if I was in a situation. I think it would be best to text them and say, hey, it would really mean a lot for me if you showed up to my open mic. And if they say no, then, like, that's a bad person.

That's not a good friend, you know, and maybe you're going to find a new group at your new hobby. My very first thought was have you asked them, have you told them how important this is too? And I do think that making it very, very clear, like, this is important to me and letting your friends have the information to react accordingly. Yeah. I don't know if I would say that they're bad friends. I sometimes wonder if we try to fit our friends into every single category. Like this is going to be my yoga friend and my concert friend and my open mic night friend. and my book club friend.

And in fact, your friends might just, like, not be open mic night people. And you can make new friends through this really cool new hobby you have. And you can enjoy the other things that you're doing with these friends. Yeah, that's what I meant to say. No, you're right. It sounds like she wants her friends to be there. So I think honesty is always the best policy. If you're expressing how something makes you feel, then no one can come back.

to that and say, well, you shouldn't be feeling that way. It's like, hey, I just want to let you know. It would mean a lot to me if you showed up. And I feel like maybe you don't necessarily care about my hobby. And I would like it if you showed a little bit of interest. That would make me feel more confident in my open mic night if you showed up for me or whatever it is. What are the reasons why you want them to show up? Give them more information. I love the idea of sharing the reasons. I think that's so, so, so smart. Like, I'm looking to feel supported because this is a hobby I'm a little bit anxious about. I love the confidence that I get when I see your face in the crowd. I think that's so smart.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's take a left turn and talk about your journey weaning off of Lexa Pro. Amazing. How has that been for you? Why don't you start with just in brief why you decided to go on it when that was? And then what sparked the initial interest in weaning off? So I started taking Prozac, actually.

When I was 17, I would have really bad anxiety when I was driving, panic attacks. We need to have my mom come pick me up. just kind of seemed to be a little bit hormonal, which my anxiety still is very much in tune with my cycle. Like right before I get my period, I'm like a ball of anxiety. It's so weird. But yeah, I tried really hard to deal with my anxiety with acupuncture and therapy, and it just was so unhinged and just out of control that nothing really worked. So I decided to start taking low-dose 10,000, milligrams of Prozac and like literally changed my life. It stopped having panic attacks. I felt amazing. My anxiety was like almost completely gone and I was like I'm going to be on this for

my life. This is the best thing that it has ever happened to me. I didn't have any side effects. I felt so amazing. And then in 2019 I had the Prozac poop out, they call it, where it just stops working. Like you've been on it for so long and it just stops doing its thing. So how did you know that? What did you feel? I just started feeling more anxiety. And at that point, I definitely should have had a little more critical thinking of being like, okay, I'm feeling anxious. Do I need to keep taking this medication or can I actually deal with this?

I also was at a very hard place in my life where I was about to end my engagement and my long relationship. So I was feeling not very secure or like sturdy at all. So I was like, I need to get on a new SSRI. So I went to my doctor. and I started taking 10 milligrams of Luxapro. And I remember when I first started taking it, it was very sleepy and had a lot of side effects,

just wasn't feeling very well. And then it went away. It didn't feel the same as like when I first started taking the Prozac. I still had low levels of anxiety in like the span of three years that I was on it, gained 15 pounds, which I was like, am I gaining this way? Because I'm just, you know, getting older. And this is just the way my metabolism works, whatever. and it was like the winter of last year. So like I've been off of it for like three and a half months. So it's been, it's still relatively new. I guess four months now that it's April. I was like, I'm going to try and wean off of this. I want to just know what my baseline is. I'm like, do I have side effects from Lexpro? I don't really know how I feel when I'm off of this drug and I want to know what I feel like. Do I have bad anxiety still? Am I able to handle these panic attacks?

had so many questions. So I'm like, I'm going to try and wean off. And if at any point I want to get back on, I'm going to get back on. So I do the slow tapering off. And it was very rough. We can talk about that later. We want to talk about the whole process. But I have been off for like four months now and I feel really good. What was rough about it? I wish that the doctors would tell you more about the withdrawal effects of getting off of an SSRI. I had like nightmares, night sweats, brain zaps. I don't know if you've ever taken an SSRI, but when you get off of it, you have these weird phenomenon that only exists with an SSRI where it feels like your brain is being electrocuted for like one second and then it goes away. It's the worst thing ever,

but I had those for like a solid month, which is crazy. Headaches, dizziness. insomnia, like literally every side effect if you Google it I had. It was really bad. I was also on it since I was 17. So I'm 32 now. How did you not get anxious when you're getting brain zaps and nightmares and all these things? Like how are you not like running back to take it again? I think I'm just more rational now. And I also am very like headstrong once I set my mind to doing something. I'm going to do it. And I'm like, I want to just at least get off of it and see how I feel for at least like a month before I get back on it. So I think I just knew it was temporary and going to pass and I'm Googling it. Like are our brainsab's dangerous? No, they're not

dangerous. I had to like very much calm myself down. It was miserable. But I think the fact that I knew that it was going to be temporary and that the rewards hopefully on the other side were going to be worth it got me through it. So what is your baseline? Like are you anxious? Are there side effects that you didn't recognize from the Lexapro? Like, what is Carissa these days? I know. It's crazy. It's funny because I pictured in my head what I would be like when I was off of my SSRI. And I pictured myself just being like in a constant state of a panic attack, like at all times. It's so funny because I don't appear to be at this moment. No. In traffic on the way here? Yes. Yeah, I feel really good. I feel like the process of getting off of it made me very mentally

strong like okay I can do things that are hard and get through them and now I'm just I'm older and wiser and smarter I'm like I know that when I'm having a panic attack I'm not dying it's going to go away it's just an uncomfortable feeling and I've been gotten really good at kind of talking myself out of my anxiety I think I'm going to be an anxious person no matter what even if I'm on an are I or not because I'm not going to take a high enough dose to where I don't feel my emotions and my emotions are always going to be more anxious. And I think I'm just more comfortable being like, okay, this is a part of me. I don't necessarily need it to go away. When I was younger, I'm like, oh, this is something that makes me different and not like my friends. I need to not feel this

anymore. I need it to like completely vanish. And now I'm like, okay, my anxiety is what helps me be really successful in my career. And it has so many great aspects that add to my life. And I think I've become a lot more comfortable with that. So I still do have low level of anxiety, but it's not anything that's not manageable. And it's not that much worse than when I was on Lexapro. It's interesting. Are there positive things you've noticed? Like, is your libido higher? Yes. Anything like that? 100%. It's crazy because I was someone that was like, I don't think I really have any side effects. Like, oh, my libido is not affected by it. And then you get off and you're like, oh, this is what this is supposed to feel like. Okay. Interesting. It definitely like kind of just like numbs you down.

Because it numbs your emotions down, right? And it numbs like a little bit of everything. I also have lost eight pounds by doing absolutely nothing, which is nice to know that like, this weight gain was not just getting older. I'm going to go back to a baseline. It's not a great feeling knowing that a medication makes you gain weight. But on the same token, I never want to steer people away from not getting on an SSRI if they need it. So it's hard for me to talk about because on one hand, it changed my life when I needed it. And then now I'm on the other side where I'm like, oh my God, I lost weight and I have sex all the time.

and I feel amazing. I almost feel guilty saying all of these things because I want people to know that it's totally okay to get on it and it might be a little bit hard to come off of if when you do decide to get off of it. But there's certain periods in your life where you need a little help. And I think that's totally fine. The number one rule of habits is to make the things that you want easier and the things that you don't want harder. Yet so many of us want to eat healthier, but so few of us actually take the steps to make eating healthier easier. That's where Marley Spoon comes in. What I love about this company and what's different than all of the other companies out there

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trying is the right thing for me. If somebody listening is just trying to decide, should I try it? Obviously, you're not a doctor, but from your personal experience, what would you advise them? I would say definitely look into it, look into the side effects, know that you do need to taper off and it is a withdrawal process. I think that's just important information to know before you do start taking a drug. It sounds to me like if it's affecting the way you live your everyday life, if you can't exercise, if you're not able to see your friends or, you know, it's hard for you to get out of bed, in the morning, then yeah, I think that that's definitely something to explore. I also would suggest trying other things first. Like, are you going to therapy? Have you tried any other options

that might help? But yeah, it seems to me if you're like not able to get up and do things that will help you feel better, if you're struggling to do that, then that kind of sounds like time to give it a shot. But someone with anxiety does really hard to, to, take any type of pillow. That's why I haven't done it. Like, I've debated doing it forever, but so much my anxiety has to do with the way my brain is working because I have PTSD from a seizure situation earlier in my life. Yeah. And so, like, I would have absolutely tried it by this point, but I'm like, I don't want to mess with my baseline homeostasis, like, tentative situation that we have going on here. Totally. I know. That's how I felt. It's like, you take that first pill

and you just immediately have a panic attack. You're like, oh, this isn't for me. It's like a lot more gradual than what people say. Like, you don't feel anything until after like two weeks because it takes a while for your brain to kind of like level out. Again, not a doctor. But it's less scary than you think. It's not necessarily like taking an Advil where your headache goes away within 30 minutes. It takes a while to feel the effects. So it is scary starting to take something. But I think it's a lot more subtle than people realize. And you can always start at a really low dose and like work your way up. So you talked a little bit about your relationship with your anxiety now. What do you do to help your mental health on a day-to-day basis? A lot. I meditate every morning when I wake up. For how long?

For 10 minutes. Not a long time. Do you use an app? I use headspace. And then I will sit outside and I will journal and I say that I do this every day and I don't. I try and do it every day. I do it most of the time. I go outside and journal just like write down some thoughts. and then I exercise. That is huge for me. Getting outside, going on a little walk, lifting some weights, just like feeling good about moving my body. And just like consciously taking breaks throughout the day. I like get really riled up in my work. So I'll be like, okay, I'm going to go outside and like sit in the sun, even like five to ten minutes and not take my phone and take little breaks. You have to find those little things that help you. And having a routine is like so important to me, which is hard when

you're traveling and stuff. But like just having those little things that you do every day that you know are going to make you feel good and feel on track for your day, I think are really important. I wrote down, this just like changed my life, wrote down just like an ideal day, ideal like work day for me like wake up, meditate, a rough time at which I would do each of these things. And it helps me feel a lot more grounded throughout my day. Like, okay, it's 9 a.m. Like, because sometimes I have so many different things that are going on all the time that sometimes it'll just like be 10 a.m. And I'll be like, what am I supposed to be doing right now? And I'll be like, oh, I should be eating breakfast. I forgot to eat breakfast. And it was like a nice guide for my day. So that's something that really helps me too.

Wait, I love that because also it gives you an idea of what a great day would look like. I think sometimes we can be like, I am not experiencing a great day, but we don't even know what a great day would be. Mine is like a schedule. Like, wake up, meditate, take your supplements, check your emails, get ready. Like, it's like literally what I have to do at each point in my day because I get lost. I'll be like, oh, I'm going to like organize my pantry. And then I'm like, nope, you shouldn't be doing this. It gives you a structure for your day, which I do think is so important. My anxiety went from like completely agoraphobic and I was able to use different tools to get out of that. but one of the top tools that really tipped me back into living in the normal world and the normal day-to-day life was having structure.

It was having a full-time job that gave me a sense of structure again. So I do think we cannot talk about that enough. So it gives you a sense of structure, but also it gives you a sense of what would feel good today. It's kind of hitting all these different buckets. It has so many benefits. Okay. You also said that your anxiety is stronger at different parts of your menstrual cycle. So do you do anything differently when you're feeling anxious at different?

parts of your cycle? No. Okay. I'm just like, oh, I'm feeling anxious right now. I'm probably getting in my period tomorrow. Okay. But that even knowing, I think that could be really helpful. When I started tracking and I was like, oh, I tend to get a little bit anxious right around ovulation and a little bit anxious right before I start my period. It's actually helpful for me to even be able to peg it to something. Totally. Yeah, I had to be like in surprise. Yeah. Why am I feeling this way? I have to like uncover every single little thing. Like, I have a headache. Oh, I haven't drinking any water today. I have to like know the reason for why. So yeah, it is helpful to know. I'm like, oh, I just had a weird panic attack. It's because of my hormones. It makes me feel better about

myself. Yeah, well, it just makes it feel like less of a mystery. And I don't think we need to always know where anxiety comes from. I think sometimes it can be really helpful to just say, I feel anxious right now. And like, that's okay. That's, I needed to hear that. Because I'm always like, why do I feel this way? What did I do? And I think that the thing is, our brain can always come up with a reason. So if you're sitting there and you're like, gosh, I'm so anxious, there must be a reason. Your brain will be like, oh, I got a bunch for you. Here you go. Here's a whole list.

Whereas if you're just like, I feel a little bit anxious, is there anything urgent I need to know and kind of sit with that for a second? Be like, body, are you telling me something? And if it is great, like, do that. But if there's nothing that like immediately floats the surface, I'm kind of like, I'm just a little anxious right now. Okay, I like that. Yeah. It needs to be better. Okay.

Advice question. I have a really hard time differentiating between my anxiety and legitimate concerns, especially in my relationship. We've been living together for three years. He just finished grad school and I'm already working, so figuring out where to live, making sure we're on the same path in life, et cetera. In general, in your life, how do you know when your anxiety is telling you to do something? And it's like you should get engaged.

You should leave this relationship that you are in, stuff like that. That's really, really helpful information and how much is it like, thank you anxiety. But I'm going to meditate to make you go away right now. Yes, I think it's so easy to ruminate on these thoughts when they're in your head and that's like where they live and exist. For me, it's so helpful to just voice them to somebody. I was having weird anxiety the other night where I just couldn't stop thinking about something. And I told Corey, I'm like, I keep thinking about this thing and it's making me feel really uncomfortable. And he talked me through it and was like, well, that doesn't make sense. of XYZ and I'm like, oh, you're right. That's just me being anxious. So I think if you can talk to someone about it, that's amazing, a friend, a coworker, your partner, whoever it may be, someone that you feel comfortable with. And if you don't feel comfortable telling anyone,

then like maybe writing it down and like just seeing the thoughts on paper could even really help. But I think it is really hard to determine if you're just an anxious person and you're overthinking something or if it's an actual real concern, it's hard for you to come up with those conclusions on your own sometimes. So I personally have felt that by saying it to other people, it's really helped me. I also have a rule with myself where I never make decisions when I'm anxious because my anxiety is cloudy in my judgment all the time. So like if I'm sitting around and I'm anxious, I'm like, oh, I have to like figure out whether I should stay with my partner, or go to this school or take this job or whatever.

And I'm like, oh, I'm so anxious I have to figure it out. I'm like, I'm going to get to a state where I'm not anxious because that's not helping me make my best decision. And then when I'm clearheaded, I'll be able to come back and with an actual sense of knowing, an actual sense of self-judgment. Like an actual sense of good judgment, I can come back and make this decision. Yeah, I totally agree with that. I think that's very helpful.

These big decisions, yeah, where it's like, do I want to make these big life choices? and you're trying to think about it all on your own, I think that these are all things that are, like, you definitely need to voice, like even to your partner. Like, hey, I've been having these thoughts. Like, what do you think? I think that's also very important to be able to voice to your partner. If you're having certain thoughts or you're feeling uneasy about certain things

to be able to have that open dialogue with them. They can also point out patterns. Like Zach will sometimes be like, oh, you've been anxious, like the last seven times you've been in the same situation. You're like, oh, yeah. Thank you so much. And that's good information to have that I might not have been aware of at that moment. For sure.

Does social media mess with your mental health at all? Oh my gosh, absolutely. Yeah. It's the comparison thing. So for me, I follow a bunch of different creators because I want to support people. And for the most part, it's great. And it's fun to support other people and see what everyone else is doing. But it's really hard because, I mean, you're just constantly comparing yourselves to other people.

and it's like you're comparing yourself to what I follow maybe like 800 people. They're all posting at different points in the day and in the week. And I see like, oh my gosh, everyone's posting a new recipe today. I need to get out a new recipe. And it makes me feel like I'm not doing enough when in reality I'm seeing 100 different people what they're posting all throughout the week. So it's not like this one person is posting three times a day, but I'm seeing everyone's stuff. So it messes with my head and it always makes me feel like I'm behind and like I'm not doing enough, which is something that I struggle with. I'm like, I always feel like I can be doing something. So yeah, I'm definitely very conscious about my time that I spend on social media. I try not to scroll through throughout the day. I try not to really look at it because it's just, it's not good for me. But I also want to like see what other people are doing and like stay in the loop. So I'll try and check it like two to three times a day.

and just like see, like watch some stories, check in with friends and like comment on other people's stuff. And I love seeing whatever else is doing and supporting them. But yeah, it's definitely it's tough for my brain. If somebody's listening and they're like, oh my God, I totally relate to that feeling. Maybe not in the context of social media, but I've always feeling like I need to be doing more, always feeling like it's not enough. Has there been anything that's been really helpful for you in quelling that feeling or feeling like what you've done is in fact enough?

Yes, for sure. I think that writing things down kind of like what I was saying earlier, like I'll be like, okay, for March, I want to do these four recipes. If I put out four new recipes in a month, that is amazing. So I kind of will force myself to stick to that. Like if I see someone post something and I'm like, oh, that's a really good idea. I should post a soup or something like that. I'm like, nope, you're doing your four recipes that you decided on and you're sticking to that and that is enough. So writing things out saying what do I need to do this day or what do I need to do this week or this month that would make me feel like I did enough and sticking to that and not trying to add and pile on more work on top of that, which is something that I would normally do.

I try to just be like, this is where you're staying. And then when you're done with that work, you can relax and enjoy yourself. You don't need to keep doing more work. It's such a good point that, of course, we won't feel like. we're doing enough if we don't set a very clear idea of what enough is. Yes, exactly. A beautiful gift we can give ourselves. I'd actually encourage anybody listening to really think about like what would a good day

look like to your earlier point. And also, what would a good month look like? And then don't push yourself to go beyond that. I love that. That's so permission giving. Yeah. I think just writing things down and staying organized is how I stay sane. I also schedule literally everything into my calendar.

every Thursday I try and do something that's like self-care, whether it's like getting my nails done or getting a massage or meditating outside for a little bit longer than 10 minutes. Normally I just like do it quickly in the morning. Whatever it may be, scheduling all of these things into your calendar, work, personal, all of that is also. I'm a huge believer in that because we schedule in our meetings. We schedule in our work stuff, but then we don't schedule in the self-care moments. And of course, the self-care moments fall away. Yeah. And even if it's like 30 minutes, like, oh, I don't have time to get my nails done or.

do something that would make me, like, feel nice, then, like, schedule 20 minutes of, like, sit outside without your phone. Because if you don't, then I'll use that 20 minutes and I'll, like, scroll on social media and then feel bad about myself. Yeah, because then in the moment, you're not leaving it up to like, oh, what should I do right now? I'm too tired to think of it, so I'll just scroll. You're just hiding ahead of time. Exactly. How's your fear of flying? So bad. It's so bad, Liz. I actually, it's funny. My therapist actually cut me off. I was in the middle of listening to your fear of flying episode. I was in the middle of listening to it and my therapist cut me off. She's like no more because I was being crazy. I was being obsessive. Listening to books,

listening to all these different things about fear of flying. She couldn't let you finish my episode. I know. But like I was being really crazy about it and I was trying to like fix the problem where it's like by reading and doing all these like research where instead it was just making me like obsessed about the fear. I was like very obsessed with that fear. I made it worse. You get yourself to fly anyway. Yes. How do you do it?

I just like sack up and get on the plane and hate every freaking second of it. I've come up with a mantra. I feel like I'm like ripping off my therapist by saying this. But I come up with a mantra where I say it in my head on the plane where whatever is going to make you feel comfortable. Mine is I'm safe. Bumps are normal. I trust the pilot. We are going to land safely. And I say that in my head, like when we're going through

turbulence, turbulence is what gets me. I'm not a fan of turbulence. And it just freaks me out. I hate it. So that's my little mantra. And yeah, it's just one of those things where I'm like hoping it's a phase. I've never really liked it. I've got to get my ass on the planes. So I'm just going to do it. Like I have to just get through it. And I just do. I like Xanax. I take Xanax. I don't take it. I don't take it. I have it on me. If I do a long plane ride, I'll take a Xanax. But that's like in my back pocket, which helps my brain. I used to be more nervous that I would forget my clonopin for flights than I would that like I'd be anxious on the flight. Like I'd have nightmares about forgetting my conopin, not about the flight itself. Even if I wouldn't take it, but just like having it there with me.

Something interesting, I have these dreams where I, I, I've just landed on an airplane and I wake up and I'm like, oh my God, I slept that whole flight and I wasn't anxious at all. And I feel so relaxed and rejuvenated and I just wake up and we landed in like whatever destination and it feels so amazing. So I feel like that is like my subconscious telling me that it's going to happen one day. So I'm very hopeful. I believe that for you. I think that's beautiful. Thank you. I want to know about you though because you did like your whole book tour. I'm about to go on tour and I am going to be on a plane every single morning and I'm like it's going to suck. So my mantra is I'm choosing a big life. I saw your post about that and I like that. My entire time I was on book tour, I was like, I'm choosing a big life. I would rather be scared every moment of

this flight, which I typically am. I relax a little bit. Takeoff's really hard for me. I relax a little bit when we're actually like in the air usually. Yeah. And also I tell myself 44,000 planes are flying today, which is really, really helpful for me. So I'm like, I want a 44,000 today. Wow. Which is really, helpful. But then planes, they very rarely crash. But if they're going to crash, it's usually on takeoff. So I'll set a five minute timer. And once we're past the five minutes, I'm like, okay. So, so. So you took an already statistically improbable thing and you made it more or less statistically impossible at that point. And that's really helpful for me too.

So it's 44,000. I set my five minute timer. And then I say to myself over and over, I'm choosing a big life. And that's important to me. I would rather be scared and get to travel and see people I love and go after my dreams than not be scared and be safe in bed and then die. Yeah, I feel that for sure. Do you have any other habits that you feel like people need to know about or tips for living your best life? Let's see.

I am just a huge believer of like not second guessing your choices and doing things that you believe in and just like going for it and not really caring about what other people think. Is that good? Yeah. No, I love that. What's the best advice that you've ever been given or advice that you look at? your life by. Really? Well, to circle back to the very beginning, really good advice that I got in terms of

relationship when I was in my first relationship. And I feel like not a lot of people talk about being in a really good relationship and having to end it for reasons that are on you, not necessarily the other person. Like you're in a fine relationship, but you just kind of don't want to be it anymore. You feel like you need more. And really good advice that I was given was nice. doesn't mean compatible. So just because someone's nice to you doesn't necessarily mean that they're the right person for you. And there might be someone maybe that's not as nice that's better suited for you

out there. So that's really good advice that I got that changed the trajectory of my life. And I am definitely a lot happier now. So I like that. Yeah. Did you have to get over feelings of guilt for leaving somebody who is perfectly nice? Yes. Yes. Do you have any advice for that? my advice would be like just I know that it's extremely hard and that you're not a bad person for choosing yourself and I struggled with a lot of feelings feeling really sorry for the person that I was ending my relationship with and he ended up just fine he's totally happy so it's like you're better off letting them find a better path you'll both find a great path you're almost taking away their power in some way by not

allowing or thinking that that could happen for them. Exactly. Yeah, that's interesting. Tell us a little bit in your own words about your beautiful new cookbook. Oh my gosh. Okay. I get so excited. And I don't know if you felt this way about your book, but there's so many things that I want to say at once. So it's so hard for me to just pick one sentence. But my new book is called Seriously So Good. It comes out April 16th. It's mostly dinner recipes. And I really just wanted it to be a book that people are going to open, whether it's like a busy, Tuesday night, you have 20, 30 minutes to throw together a quick delicious meal or it's a fun celebration. You're having friends over. It's just really a book for everything. All of the ingredients are, you're going to be very familiar with them. No really surprises in there. But I think people will be

very surprised at how easy and delicious outcomes are. What's the favorite recipes? My favorite recipe. This is a very hard question. I have narrowed it down to, there is a, it's called the date night creamy mushroom chicken. And it's just the best chicken I've ever had in my entire life. It's called date night chicken because whenever Corey and I are debating on if we want to go out for dinner, I feel like this recipe is like what always convinces us to stay in because it's just better than anything you'll ever order at a restaurant. It's so incredible. It's like the best recipe that I've ever made and I'm really excited for you able to try it. Mostly dinner recipes. There are also some appetizers, cocktails, and desserts in there too.

So, yeah, it's just kind of something that I hope people will just turn to no matter what. Love it. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for having me. That was fun. Sharing your advice. And I'm so excited to dive into a beautiful book. Thank you.

If you like this episode, send a link to someone you think would benefit. And if someone shared a link with you and you were new to the podcast, welcome. I am so glad that you're here. Make sure you're following the podcast on whatever platform you like to listen on. All you have to do is go to the main podcast page. That's the one that lists all of the Liz Moody Podcast episodes. And you'll see the word follow under the logo on Spotify. And then there's a little follow with a plus sign button on the top right of that same page on Apple Podcasts.

There's also a recent Apple update that has changed things up a little bit. So if you follow the podcast there, even if you've been following it for a very long time since we were healthier together, go to that little button in the tap right and click turn on automatic download so the pod keeps showing up in your feed. This way you will not miss out on any new episodes. They will appear right in your feed every single Wednesday and every other Monday. We have some great episodes coming up that you do not want to miss, like an episode all about life hacks for productivity.

And then on Wednesday, I have a solo episode that's really vulnerable. It's really raw and intimate and honest. and it's all about my experience with the Hoffman process, which I cannot wait to share. Okay, I love you so much and I will see you on Wednesday for the next episode of the Liz Moody podcast. The mattress that you sleep on is one of the highest exposures that you have. Like, if it's off-gassing, you're breathing that in for basically a third of your life. And most conventional mattresses are loaded with synthetic foams, flame retardants, microplastics, and more. Plus, if it's not comfy, you're going to be tossing and turning, you're going to be really hot.

and sleep is the foundation of health. It is so important. Because of all of this, if I were not going to invest in any other part of my house, no other things in my house, I would invest in my mattress. And in fact, I have four years well before I had much money to spend on any of these things because it is such a big needle mover. The birch mattress is incredible. It is made with organic cotton, natural latex, and ethically sourced wool.

So it has literally no off-gassing. You can not smell anything. right when you unbox it, it has no microplastics, no synthetic foams or flame retardants. And the wool makes it so breathable, which if you've listened to this podcast for more than five minutes, you know that I run very, very hot. Like I am a furnace. Zach has basically accepted that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to like a little fire. And the birch mattress has been a game changer for that. It's made me sleep so much better. Like I can see my sleep score going up because I'm not hot all night long. It's also hypoallergenic.

which is really worth paying attention to if you find yourself waking up stuffy or congested. Dust mites in a conventional mattress can actually impact your breathing and your sleep quality without you even realizing it. And again, we need to be able to breathe to get good sleep. And getting good sleep is the foundation of our health. And then comfort wise, Zach sleeps on his back and then I sleep on my side and my stomach. So we have two completely different sleep styles and we both wake up feeling really good, no aches and pains. CNN actually named the Birch mattress, the best mattress for side sleepers and Wired named it the best organic mattress period. So there you go. Birch has options for every kind of sleeper in your household. They have three firmness layers. I like the

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