The Liz Moody Podcast - BONUS EPISODE: Julie Smolyansky—Finding Joy Through Trauma & How To Be A Bad Ass Business Woman

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

My guest today is Lifeway Kefir CEO Julie Smolyansky. Julie has an incredible story—when she was just 27 years old her father died, and she took over the family business, becoming the youngest female CEO of a publicly traded firm. And she thrived, growing Lifeway Kefir from doing $12 million dollars in revenue to over $100 million dollars today. She’s been featured on Fortune’s 2014 40 under 40 list, and is just an entrepreneurial rockstar. On this episode, we talk about: the surprising silver linings to the pandemic for her business and her personal life the top mindset shift she recommends for entrepreneurs, and the top specific, actionable thing she thinks aspiring entrepreneurs should do today how to show up as your whole self at work (even with mental health struggles) how Joe Biden inspired her to come forward publicly as a sexual assault survivor finding joy through trauma why masturbation is one of her favorite forms of self-care We’d both ove to hear your thoughts on the episode, so screenshot and tag me @lizmoody and Julie, who’s @juliesmolyansky on Instagram. Enjoy! PS: My foodie preset pack is officially live. You can get all 8 presets, designed to make your food pics look as good as they taste, at lizmoody.com/presets. PPS: Healthier Together is officially a number one best-seller! You can get your copy on Amazon or at lizmoody.com/cookbook. Please keep sending me your creations on Instagram—they make me so happy! This episode is sponsored by Lifeway Foods, makers of America’s best-selling brand of kefir. Kefir has 12 different strains of live and active cultures and 25-30 billion Colony Forming Units (CFU), while the average yogurt can have anywhere from 1 to 5 strains with 6 billion CFU. Plus, it’s also up to 99% lactose-free. Lifeway Kefir comes in all sorts of delicious flavors, and they even have a dairy-free Plantiful line. Go to lifewaykefir.com and click “where to buy” to find a store that carries Lifeway near you! Healthier Together cover art by Zack. Healthier Together music by Alex Ruimy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Healthier Together podcast. I am your host, Liz Moody, and I am a longtime journalist and cookbook author, and I have a very special bonus episode for you this week with LifeWay Kephyr CEO, Julie Smolianzki. Julie has an incredible story. When she was just 27 years old, her father died, and she took over the family business, becoming the youngest female CEO of a publicly traded firm. And she thrived, growing LifeWay Kaffair from doing $12 million in revenue to over $100 million. today. She's been featured on Fortune's 40 under 40 list and is just a general entrepreneurial rock star. But beyond that, she is an incredible advocate for sexual assault survivors because she's won herself. I'll give a mild trigger warning for this episode. We don't get into too many specifics, but we do talk a lot about overcoming trauma, including how Julie has used her sexual assault to find purpose in her life with a little bit of help from Joe Biden, which is a crazy story that might make you cry regardless of where you fall in the political spectrum, it certainly tears welled up in my eyes for sure. We talk a lot about finding joy through trauma, which is obviously

super applicable after this year. And I hope that everyone listening can find a few little salient bits to cling to on more difficult days. And because Julie is such a badass businesswoman, I also got her to share her best business tips in terms of both the larger mindset shifts, but also those super actionable, pragmatic things that you can do right now that you know that I love. We would both, of course, love to hear your thoughts in the episode. So definitely screenshot and share on Instagram and tag me. I am at Liz Moody as always. And Julie, she is at Julie Smoliyanski on Instagram.

All right, I hope you love this episode and that it doesn't make you cry too hard. I love you all. Enjoy. All right, Julie, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today. I really appreciate you taking the time to chat. Oh, absolutely. It's so great to be with you, Liz. we were just talking about and I wanted to start recording because you're this like kind of super

powerful entrepreneur CEO. You're like one of fortunes 40 under 40, all of these things. But you were saying that you're actually really enjoying this pandemic time of slowing down. Can you speak to that as this hyper ambitious, hyper successful person? Yeah. Well, you know, thank you. First of all. But yeah, I mean, I think my entire life I've been, you know, running, trying to get from place to place, you know, achieve things. You know, my ambition is is so high. And, you know, as I've been building my career for the last 20 years, it's been nonstop. It just have not been able to slow down. You know, I've been on a plane every week, you know, away from home for many days every month. And it felt like it was just the way that

things were done and, you know, being on the speaker circuit or conferences or whatever. And it's just non-stop. And, you know, of course, I would never wish the suffering that we're experiencing as a global society onto anyone. I mean, this is just, it's tragic. However, you know, we've been able to stay healthy and safe. And for me personally, it's just been nice to like still be able to do all the things that I was doing, but in a new way, you know, being able to Zoom interviews or being able to Zoom meetings with people or still be a part of a conference and still be networking and still being able to share our story, which has been such a key part of our growth and success and, but do it from, you know, my home and with technology. And so I don't remember now how I could do all

the things I did in one day at the level that I was running. And just to be able to slow down and be still and not feel like I have to go somewhere and that fear of missing something is gone because no one is doing anything. And to be able to be with my children, even if they're doing their remote learning, I don't remember any time in a history that we've had this kind of four months of time together. Now, it's maybe a little bit overkill and too much and we all need a break from each other at this point. But it's just, there are silver linings in it and I've enjoyed it.

You know, I've really enjoyed it. I've enjoyed being still and being in my home and getting cozy in it and making it a comfortable place and spending time outdoors and just not having to get on a plane. Yeah. Although I miss traveling a lot. You know, I miss the vacations. I miss being able to do that. And I'm sure we'll get there eventually, but it is nice to take a year off of all these things and just be still. Do you think it's going to change how you approach your work life in the long term?

I do. I do, actually. I think that we're still getting a lot done at, you know, crazy level and everyone's working their tail off just to make sure that we continue to keep Lifeway Kiefer on grocery shelves and stocking all the food pantries. The need for our product is at record highs. But I do think that we've adapted and we're learning to do things more efficiently, more cost-effectively. pivoting is really the key here and adapting is critical. You know, it's not about how much money you have. It's not about how educated you are. The key to this pandemic is being able to adapt

and pivoting and being nimble and being innovative. And those are things that we've been known to do. But yeah, I do think that, you know, like we've let go of our city. offices. We won't be going back to city offices anytime soon. So that's, you know, a cost saving. We're just learning to work as a team digitally and remotely and cohesively and still have that collaborative spirit, but in different places. And so I think that's nice. I mean, think about travel time that it takes to get to and from work and all of those other things that we spend time on, that we now have extra time. So yeah, I mean, I think those are some positives that we get.

So you are, as we've mentioned, this sort of high-powered female CEO. So I'd love to start off just by talking about what your top piece of general advice would be for an aspiring entrepreneur. And then on this podcast, I like to get really sort of nitty-gritty and pragmatic. So I'd also love a piece of advice that's like incredibly specific, like a piece of software that somebody should learn or a way you learn to manage your time early on when you were 27 and just starting to kind of take the range. Just something super highly actionable and specific and something more of a mindset general advice. Sure. Well, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was

to make a list of everything you do in your day and then try to cross as many of those things off and delegate it to somebody else and do what you are uniquely qualified to do. So there's a lot of things that I think entrepreneurs like to micromanage because I think for a lot of people, type A personalities, there's this mindset of, oh, if you can't, you know, if you want something done, do it yourself. If you want something done right, do it yourself. And there's an urge or a desire to really do it perfectly, to do it the way you want to do it. But I learned that if I delegate things, I'll actually be able to get a lot more done. I can do the high-level things.

You know, work on my business, not in my business, is kind of another piece of advice I got. But delegating all of that, and then that empowers your team. They feel accomplished. They feel that they're contributing to the bigger picture. And so that feels good. And that was a really transformative piece of advice for me. I really focused on the big things that I needed to do that I'm uniquely qualified to do that no one else in my organization can do. So that was a big thing.

And then kind of my general principle is to follow your gut, trust your gut. And I feel like, you know, I'm all about gut health. Like Way is leading the conversation on gut health. But it's so much more. And it's having the faith in bravery and trusting and believing. in your gut intuition. Those, I always feel like those little messages that you feel, that little intuition, it's like messages from angels kind of guiding you to your next thing.

And you have to be mindful to hear those messages. And so, yeah, I mean, follow your gut. Trust it. I love that. And I think it really speaks to how much you've sort of redefined the modern CEO. By one, I think I love that you don't lead despite. being a woman, but it feels like you lead well because of being a woman. And I think that even what you're saying there about getting in touch with those intuition and those feelings, I think is

really powerful. But I also think that you've sort of created this world where you can bring your whole self to the workplace. And I think a lot of women want to do this. And I wanted to do this when I was working full time in a company, but they're afraid of being perceived as weak and not making career progress because of that. So I remember I'm very outspoken about being able to talk about mental health. But even in a position of a fairly high up in a company, I was nervous to take days where I was saying where I actually had mental health days where I was suffering from anxiety, where I was having panic attacks because I didn't want to go back to work the next day and have people discount my opinion. And I'm curious as a CEO, you were, I feel like able to make those

changes in your company from the top down. And I think when the people in the positions of leadership are bringing their whole self to work and saying we're whole people, we can integrate that, we can be all the things. It changes everything. But I'm curious what you would recommend to somebody who is in less of a position of power in the first place. And they want to show up at work as their whole self. But they're not sure if their workplace would accept them as that. Well, I mean, I think that this pandemic has proven that we're all humans and we all have our whole selves. You know, you see even world leaders with their children popping in and their dogs popping into their Zoom calls and their, you know, global news interviews that they're having. So, you know, it's been

fun to see that we all have a life and we all have our own, you know, families and things happening and a messy bedroom or whatever, messy offices. Like that is very, you know, humbling to know that. You know, for me, I was 27 when I became the CEO. And I really had no one who really trailblazed what that would look like for me. So I kind of did it out of necessity because I didn't know any other way. I couldn't be someone that I wasn't. You know, I couldn't be a 65-year-old white man.

So I just did what I knew how to do, which was just to be me. And I think as my confidence grew, as my own bravery grew, and, you know, I just became more grounded in who I was. And that's a journey, by the way. It's not like it's done. This is a lifelong process. As all those things sort of started to happen, I also felt an obligation to continue to bring my whole self forward. And, you know, I did have kids. I had all these other things that were happening.

And also the issues that we're talking about at Lifeway and, you know, reducing suffering of people, you know, I kind of was a guinea pig of my own company. Like, I really believed that and continue to believe that so much of what we're doing is bigger than just here's the food you should eat and here's the calories and here's the protein. you know, what we're trying to foster is community and self-care and self-love and acceptance of honoring, you know, the journey. And I felt like I was in a place to bring my whole self, I guess. And people would just accept it or they wouldn't. And there's a culture that every company has. And it might not be right for somebody else, but it was right. right for me. And I think if you're having trouble finding that, you know, keep looking. I think

there's something for everyone in terms of a workplace. And if you can't find it, then build your own, you know, create your own workforce, build your own company, create your own culture, and you could do it the way you want to do it. But I think, you know, trying to get people to accept this idea of being who you are and, you know, bringing that whole self to the workplace, I think it creates a sense of vulnerability and acceptance and cohesiveness within the team. And then we're just more likely to lean on each other when, you know, we're stressed. And there's been times when my team has said, okay, Julie, you can rest too. You know, it's important for all of us to rest.

Like they can feel when I've been overworked, let's say. But yeah, I mean, I think, you know, as a female, I thought, well, this is a place where I can trailblaze for other women and other people coming up behind me. You know, life is like full of both positives and negatives. And the career journey is a marathon. It's not a sprint. And, you know, there will be times when you're in a dark hole and there will be times when you are filled. with exuberant joy and everything in between. You'll have, you know, death and sorrow.

You'll have joy and, you know, wonderful occasions and births and all of that. That's the whole humanity. That's what it's about. It's all of that. And so I think, you know, what it's created is like a sense where people want to stay. People feel it's family. We have very little turnover. And I think it's largely in part with that that we're very excited.

accepting, we're eclectic and, you know, supportive of the team, even in difficult moments. I read some more that Joe Biden encouraged you to share your sexual assault story and work on sort of showing up in that whole person way. Was that in person he, like, as a human, or was it like something that he said that you saw in an interview or something? Well, it was both. So I was an advisor to the Violence Against Women Office for the Obama administration, and Joe Biden ran the Violence Against Women Office. And so I was invited in. I started my work in the space 30 years ago, but I'd never been out as a survivor myself. But anyways, I was brought in to work on the issues. And I was an executive director on a film called The Hunting Ground documentary, which uncovered the cover-up of sexual assault on college campus.

And the administration knew that I was a survivor myself, but not the rest of the world. And so, you know, I had a lot of conversations with the whole department. But so the hunting ground was nominated for an Oscar. and an Emmy and a Grammy. It won the Emmy. And it was the song Till It Happens to You, which Lady Gaga donated to the film. Anyways, so we performed the song for the 2016 Oscars,

and Joe Biden as myself and 50 survivors and Lady Gaga. So 51 survivors total. And Joe Biden introduced us. And then after the Oscars were finished, he asked to meet with each one of us privately. And so he met with all 51 of us and spent some time talking to us. And he shared some really great things to me personally and encouraged me to keep sharing and to keep working on changing culture. You know, he told me it was just critical that we change culture.

And he said some just incredible things, things I wish, you know, maybe my parents. parents would have said to me, but he was just so warm, so empowering. He told me I was brave. He told me not to stop. He said, you know, keep going. Don't stop. You have to change culture. We'll do it together.

So, yeah, it was a really special moment, one that I'll never forget. Yeah. Having, like, the most highest power office, let's say, even, you know, Biden is, let's say it's not Obama, but, you know, it was still, it was just really, really transformative and powerful to see the administration care so much about changing this issue for, you know, the next generations. And it was one of those moments where I really felt my purpose was being lived out. And it's why I survived to be in that place in that moment and be a part of this change and inflection point in our history and that led to, I believe it was one of the dominoes

to the Me Too movement because a few months later is when you two broke. But, you know, I remember standing on stage and looking out into the crowd of all of these iconic faces that you and I grew up with and seeing just tears going down everybody's face. And I knew they were crying, you know, for themselves, not for me, not for us on stage. And I knew that they had their own stories to share. And there's probably not a single woman in the world that doesn't have a story of some sort of abuse, you know, some sort of story. I think we all have them. So, yeah.

Well, and I think it's really powerful to speak it because I think that when we hide it, it tells our own brains, in addition to telling the greater world that there's something that we should be ashamed of with it when it. It's not something that we should be ashamed of for. Yeah, I mean, it's such a stigmatized and taboo topic. It is the biggest secret in the world that no one wanted to talk about. And still, I would say doesn't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. You know, I don't want to do it. But I feel a sense of obligation to help change this for the rest of, you know, the generations after me, for my kids, for so many reasons I feel this.

to do this. But I think it's what I've been told and what I believe is it's really important to bear witness to trauma and to speak the truth and to own that story and that journey and, you know, to integrate it into your life and embody the pain and also the joy and and move through that and process that. And I feel like, again, that's a journey. And, I think sharing it is and what has transpired with the Me Too movement is the collective unshedding of this burden and shame that we've been carrying. And shame is sort of the killer to all of it. You know, carrying that shame around, you know, it prevents you from connecting to other people. You know, when you, I found, I can't speak to anybody else, but I found that, you know, by keeping.

this thing a secret, it prevented me from having real relationships. It prevented me from being vulnerable or kind of human. It kept me in like a robotic kind of person. And I was constantly editing myself to make sure that like it didn't slip out or that I didn't appear to look like a, you know, a victim or sound like a victim. And so there's a lot of work that went into hiding this and keeping it a secret. And I feel like once I, you know, shared that stage with the 50 survivors at the Oscars, it was like my liberation. I was unleashed from this story. And I, I now was the captain of it. It's still something that, you know, I still work on and I try to, like, share with as many people. And I have to say, like, since that, so many people, I mean, I get hundreds of messages, if not thousands of messages from survivors who've told me that sharing my story has been helpful to them and has given them inspiration.

I mean, that's what it's about then. I mean, that that makes it worth it. Not that I feel like anyone needs trauma to have purpose, but, you know, it's like, you know, I don't want to be necessarily. Like I hate sometimes this idea that everything happens for a reason, though I do believe that. Like no divine power would ever wish upon anybody the kind of trauma that we're talking about. Yeah. I think what your story really powerfully shows is that like you can go through something like this too and still live this really beautiful life that it doesn't have to be this thing that inhibits your hold to back. And I think that that's so resonant.

Thank you. It's a lot of hard work. It's not always easy for me. I definitely have days where I, you know, kind of pity myself. But I wipe that away real fast. And, you know, I have to keep moving forward. And, you know, but it's really important to, you know, grief and kind of mourn what, what happens in these kind of traumatic moments. and experiences and to know that you're not alone.

And time, you know, it takes time. It takes resources. It takes professional help to process and move through this kind of trauma. And it's a lifelong journey. I mean, it's healing is a lifelong journey. And it's, I don't know. I think like it's become a masterpiece of, you know, creating my life and being able to move forward and find those moments.

of joy. I think, you know, that joy is equally as important to reach for. It's a different type of trauma, but I'm always really interested in this. Your family are Holocaust survivors. And Esther Perel, who's a famous psychologist, she was also raised by Holocaust survivors. And she was raised in like a small town in Belgium that was essentially all Holocaust survivors in that town. And she talks about how people would sort of survivors would go in one of two directions. There'd be the houses where the curtains were all drawn and the couches were covered in plastic and people had sort of withdrawn into a smaller, safer life. And then there was her house, which she later became a very famous sex therapist where people were exuberant almost

completely in the other direction and having sex and trying to embrace all of the moments of life. And I'm curious which if that resonates with you and also if you feel like your family went in any direction or how that sort of generational trauma shaped your life or your self-identity. Yeah, I mean, it's really a key to my story. It's one reason, you know, why I feel so strongly about surviving because, you know, my great-grandmother was murdered in the Holocaust in her house. my grandmother survived by hiding in the forest. And I think, you know, I owe them. My grandmother worked so hard to survive. And I did not want to be all of that for nothing.

Like I had an obligation to go further than they did. Yeah, I think my family was one that danced and celebrated when there was an opportunity to do so. My father was really charismatic. He always had a bunch of people around him. He traveled with an entourage in both in Russia in Kiev and in America when we immigrated. He, you know, was always the life of a party, you know, is always, let's celebrate. There was a bottle of vodka. There was music.

There was dancing. And I personally found a lot of relief and joy in. entertainment like music, live concert. I just, I found like that really was a place that I could kind of escape to or mirror my feelings or validated me. But I love dancing. If I hear music, I have to dance. And I guess I just have a lot of gratitude for the fact that I'm still here that I survived.

I mean, I have my hard days, but the sense of gratitude and the desire. to, you know, just drink the juices of life. Like I want like, and I imagine, you know, biting into a watermelon or a juicy peach and having all those juices flow out from your, you know, mouth as you bite into it. I feel like that is like what my life, what I want my life for my life in my life. And so, yeah, I mean, though I've lost and had so many challenges. and had more tragedies that I could ever count on, I've had equally as much joy and celebration

and, you know, so many wonderful life experiences that I'm so, so grateful for that I've had an opportunity to live. This episode is sponsored by LifeWay Foods, makers of America's best-selling brand of Kefir. If you're unfamiliar with Kefir, it's a probiotic-rich drink high in protein, calcium, and vitamin D. It has a tart and diet. tangy flavor and is incredibly addictive. You'll feel real gut health benefits when you start drinking it.

If you're listening to this podcast, you likely know how important good gut health is to feeling your best. 90% of serotonin, or hormone that affects your mood, is produced by the cells in the gut. An unbalanced gut can trigger anxiety, depression, and mood swings, and research shows that probiotic rich foods decrease anxiety and boost mood, which we are all about over here. Beyond that, 70 to 80% of the cells that make up the immune system are located in the gut. So if you want to support your immune system, support your gut. Kefir has 12 different strains of live and active cultures and 25 to 30 billion with a B colony forming units, which are called CFUs, while the average yogurt can have anywhere

from 1 to 5 strains with just 6 billion CFUs. That's more than double the amount of probiotics. Plus, it's also up to 99% lactose-free, which is great news. for my lactose intolerant listeners out there. There are also 11 grams of protein in one one cup serving of kaffir, while the average serving of low-fat yogurt only contains 6 grams of protein. Lifeway Kaffir comes in all sorts of delicious flavors. They even have a dairy-free, plantiful line.

My favorite is the organic strawberry flavor. It tastes like berries and cream, and it's just heavenly, but you really cannot go wrong with any of them. Go to Lifewaycafier.com and click where to buy to find a store that carries Lifeway near you. All right. Now let's get back to the episode. I'd love to talk about like almost getting there to the drinking, the juices of life and taking care of mental health. I know that Kiefer is obviously really great for mental health and serotonin and taking care of your gut health. But I'm curious if there's any other sort of very pragmatic steps that you take to take care of your mental

health either on a day-to-day basis or in a larger sense like you went through a program or something like that. Yeah. I mean, I feel like self-care is non-negotiable. It is absolutely a must and everyone should practice it and have a toolbox of things that they can go to. I mean, everything from being out in nature for, you know, at least 20 minutes a day, being able to get outside, see the trees, see the sun, see the clouds, whatever it is, be out there, experience the rain, all of it. Like feel the outside. because I feel like it helps you get the sense that, you know, the world is so big and, you know, you are a part of this universe that is so magical.

I mean, it is such a miracle to be, to exist. So, you know, that getting outside, moving my body has been huge. I've been an athlete since I was a kid. I started figure skating when I was six. I, you know, skated for 15 years. I played, you know, varsity tennis. I've always been moving my body and I got a lot of joy out of it. And I didn't even know yet about serotonin and endorphins,

but I knew that I felt really good, better in my body when I got to move it. So today, that looks like for me it's either yoga, biking, running. Those would be my favorites. But something every day, probably, you know, six days out of the week. If not all seven days, I'm doing something. You know, on a rest day, it could be just going for a walk, which is great too. I mean, I love my massages. Who doesn't love a good massage? But it's really helpful, especially if you are working out as much as I do or just under stress. I tend to hold that all in my shoulders, being bent over on a laptop or using handheld devices. So having somebody, you know, move all those, those knots out is so helpful. I mean, making sure that I rest. I'm not good at resting. It's been one of my biggest challenge. but, you know, trying to get as much sleep as I possibly can.

I'm notorious for getting like four hours. I work on. Oh, my gosh. I know. It's so bad. It's the don't do this part. Don't do that. For me, it's a challenge is to try to feel like I can slow down and rest.

But, you know, getting at least six hours now is pretty key. You know, those are the big things. I love reading to me. That's such a place of self. here too. I get so much joy out of books and spending time with friends and community. I mean, I don't get to be, you know, too often, you know, with friends, but definitely not lately. And you realize how important community is and how restorative it is, you know, having those human connections. And I remember just like when I was traveling a lot for work and I was just,

there were times where I didn't know what city I was in, what time it was if it was, you know, 5 a.m. or 5 p.m. if you're international and just felt so disconnected and alone and like on this rat race. And those are like really painful times. They, I really questioned my existence, frankly. So knowing when it is too much, you know, when you need a break is really key. And meditation, I mean, meditation, breath, you know, just. taking those moments of breath when you can't do a full, you know, workout or a spa treatment or whatever, slowing down, breathing, finding a meditation nap is great and five minutes can round you.

That's really, really important. So those are kind of the things that are real practical. But self-care, you know, when I think about why we survive, what's the point of it? And I think it is to heal. And I think healing is a nonlinear and it's a lifelong process. And it's a miracle that we're all here. I mean, each soul is just a miracle. So yeah, like loving yourself, kind of practicing the rituals of love.

It's just so beautiful, even like lighting a candle, burning some incense, whatever that looks like for you. But those are the things that make me feel good. and special and something I can do for myself. I love that. Okay, I have a few quickfire questions. Yeah. One, what is something that you've bought recently that's made your life healthier or happier? Purchased a Peloton when lockdown started to happen.

I was on a six-week wait list, but I got it and it's been really great, especially in Chicago when there were a lot of those cold weather days and the gyms were closed and everything. And, you know, so having that Peloton was one of my favorite purchases. Yeah, I'm sure. Like, being able to stay active, I worked out more during the time when I was health quarantined in New York City in my tiny apartment than I think I've worked out in my entire life. I felt like I was like doing YouTube workouts for my sanity every day.

Yeah. Oh, I think, you know, the way it makes you look is just the cherry on top. I think it's all. I mean, I've never done a workout that I think, you know, oh, I regret that. I did that workout. It's never happened. I always feel better. Always. Always. It never fails. So that's a great toolbox. And just start. You know, if you're somebody that has a hard time with committing to it, just start. Just put it in your calendar

or don't let it fall off. Have you ever been somewhere in the world where you're like, the people who live here really got it right in terms of living a healthier, happier life? And if so, where was it? Oh my gosh. So many places. Tulum. Oh, my gosh. I think sometimes if, you know, if it all went to hell, I would just go to Tulum, live on a beach, be barefoot, eat coconuts, you know, fish and put up a fire. Like, they just got it. It's just so healing there. I love like Italian, Mediterranean lifestyle, the long lunches with, you know, a glass of wine, the romance, the culture. I love Italy, Europe, Spain.

I just, I love. The food is so good. You know, they're so romantic. I love the European and Mediterranean countries. What's the best way to spend 20 minutes every day in terms of living a healthier, happier life? Well, drink your key for sure, because that's the key to everything. 20 minutes, I say if you have 20 minutes, go for a walk, do a meditation.

Cool. Do you feel successful and why or why not? Can I also throw one more in masturbate? Yeah. I'll talk about self-care. No, I'm such a huge advocate for masturbation. When I masturbate, I feel like I've checked. Like your hormones are more balanced.

You feel calmer. I feel like I've literally done an active, like, good for my body in the same way that working out does. And it's so taboo again still, but I'm just going to say it. And I think it's a great way to spend 20 minutes. I love, I'm going to call this episode CEOs Masturbate too. Yes. There you go.

Oh, here's one good purchase. I'll just give a tip. The best tool is this thing called the womanizer. I hate the name of it, but man, it's amazing. And I recommend it to so many women during lockdown. All right. I will make sure to link that in the show notes, The Womanizer, everybody, you heard it here first. All right.

Do you feel successful and why or why not? I do feel successful because I've been able to integrate the hard parts of my journey into the, you know, shining parts of my journey. I guess I've accomplished like pretty much almost all the things I've set out to do. And I feel like I've made an impact on my world. I really always wanted to work on ending violence against women and watching the Me Too. movement unfold in front of my eyes was the greatest gift that I could have ever received ever. To spend, you know, three decades working on a movement on this issue that is so taboo,

that is so filled with stigma. And, you know, it just to see it unfold, like just in a moment after 2,000 years, you know, the story, the Me Too story is. a 2,000-year-old story that has been hidden and it thrives in secrecy and silence. And I never thought that we would ever move the needle on it. And it felt like I was the only one speaking out and screaming out about this issue, though there were obviously other activists in the world. It was not, it was a very small community, actually, of anti-raped community folks speaking about it.

And so anyways, I feel like that has been the biggest thing that I could say that I succeeded in. And there's a few more things I still want to accomplish. But by far, by large, I feel like I have succeeded in what I was brought here to do. Okay. And then the last one is, what was one big mistake you made, maybe one that you learned from a lot? And what's one thing that you really got right? Well, there were times when I kind of relinquished power and let other people kind of make decisions. And maybe I guess I would say I was maybe a little bit gaslit and kind of led to believe that I wasn't really sure of what I was doing.

And anyway, I let someone else kind of sabotage me and my success. And standing into my own power and taking that power was a key transformative moment. And yeah, I mean, just no one is going to give you power. You know, you cannot sit and wait for somebody to just hand it to you. You just have to take it. Hold your head up high and just know that you deserve to have it, to take it, and to live your best life. So that was, you know, a regret.

And the turnaround, the change was, was, you know, having that, you know, being empowered to go and take the reins of whatever power that I could. I love that. Was there something that sort of shifted that for you? I think in time, you just get sick of. So for me, I was just repeatedly in the situation where this person was just incredibly abusive and every time they would, you know, speak, it was to tear me down to build themselves up. And I just kind of bought into it for a few years and allowed it to happen.

And I would say I just didn't have boundaries. I think that's the thing. I did not have boundaries. And once I was clear on my intuition about my boundaries and what felt good. It's like some people don't. I didn't even know when somebody said, you have no boundaries. I didn't even know what that meant. I was like, what is that?

And how do you find them? Where do you find your boundaries? And they said, you know, you have to find your truth, what feels good and what doesn't. And that's a good parameter. Like, you know what doesn't feel right. But we as women, especially in society, are taught to suppress that, to put it aside, to numb it, to pretend it's not there, to de-escalate, not. cause waves, like all those things were culturally and societally and grinned in me.

And once I started to sort of, I don't know, grow up, I guess, become an adult, become a woman. And this is all like in the last few years, too, by the way. Once I started to set those boundaries and not allow people to, you know, cross them, things changed for me. And I do feel like my confidence grew, my success through my ability to make decisions and stand in those moments with my head held high. We're just amplified and that much greater. I love that.

Awesome. That's just like, that's so empowering, I think and so amazing for women and everybody, but especially women out there to hear. So thank you for sharing. And thank you for taking the time to chat with me today, Julie. I really appreciate it.

You're so welcome. It was my pleasure. I hope you loved this episode with Julie. I just find her so inspiring, both on a personal level, everything she talked about with self-care and taking care of yourself and like growing and thriving through trauma is so, so inspiring to me. But also as a businesswoman, obviously she is just taken over the business world and had so much success. And so I hope that you found that really

inspiring as well. We'd both love to hear your thoughts in the episode. I'm at Liz Moody on Instagram. Julia's at Julius Smoljanski on Instagram. And just screenshot, tag us, share whatever comes up. All right, I will see you on the next episode of the Healthyer Together podcast, which will be next week since this was bonus up. So see you then. When it comes to wellness, you're going to get the best results by focusing on the big needle movers. A lot of us spend a lot of time trying to optimize that last 1%, which creates a ton of stress and it actually doesn't help our health that much. At the top of the needle mover list, sleep. And one of the best ways to optimize your sleep is to optimize your mattress, which is why I love avocado green mattress so much. First of all, this mattress is so comfortable.

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