The Liz Moody Podcast - How I Learned To Love My Body—The Secret to Self-Confidence & Eliminating Comparison with Achieng Agutu

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

On today’s episode—a shiny, fresh edition of our How I Learned to Love My Body series—I have on the incredibly charismatic Achieng Agutu. Achieng is the founder of No Ordinary Noire, where she helps hundreds of thousands of women tap into their most powerful selves. She’s also been the center of campaigns for companies like Valentino, and featured in online publications such as Vogue magazine. And let me tell you—her energy is CONTAGIOUS, and if this episode doesn’t leave a smile on your face, I don’t know what to tell you. If you missed our first two episodes of this series, we had on the amazing Katie Sturino and a twofer with Raeann Langas and Kristina Zias, so definitely go check those out. On this episode, we talk about: what going to fashion week is REALLY like behind the scenes how Achieng deals with imposter syndrome including the exact mantra she tells herself her tips for anyone who wants to live a life their parents might not understand or support what it was like moving from Kenya to Indiana how the ideal body type in Kenya differs from the US how she deals with people’s judgement about her body a life changing healthy eating secret from kenya how she finds fashion that makes her feel comfortable and confident in her body a brilliant, practical way of dealing with comparison what’s in her mental health toolkit her favorite journaling prompts for confidence her secret to being confident even if other people tell you shouldn’t be Aa always, Achieng and I would LOVE to hear what’s resonating as you listen so tag me—I’m @lizmoody—and she’s @noordinarynoire. PS: My Patreon is live! You can join Green Smoothie Society and get access to ALL of my green smoothie recipes and advice AND you can subscribe to A Very Moody Morning, my brand new morning show podcast, which drops once weekly and features casual, fun convo, super intimate Q&As, and more. Get all the deets at patreon.com/lizmoody. This episode is sponsored by Nuzest, one of my favorite protein powders. Go to Nuzest.us/liz to get an amazing discount on your order. This episode is sponsored by Athletic Greens, one of my favorite supplements. Visit athleticgreens.com/healthiertogether and get your FREE year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs today. Healthier Together cover art by Zack. Healthier Together music by Alex Ruimy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Healthier Together podcast. I'm your host, Liz Moody, and I'm a cookbook author and long-time journalist. Today we have a shiny new edition of one of my favorite series, How I Learn to Love My Body. If you missed our first two episodes of the series, we had on the amazing Katie Sterino and a tufer with Rayan Longas and Christina Zia, so definitely go check those out. These episodes are about body love, yes,

but they're really about so much more than that. The body theme is a starting point to talk about confidence in general, moving through self-doubt and flagellation to experience our best possible lives. And yes, I did say love and not acceptance or neutrality. To me, love just feels like the right word. It's a lifelong relationship that we're talking about. And like love, it doesn't have to be bliss and butterflies every single second. It can be ups and downs and growing and learning and work,

but all with the underlying acknowledgement of deep respect and care. Love. On today's episode, I have on the incredibly charismatic Achiang Aguatu. Achiang is the founder of No Ordinary Noir, where she helps hundreds of thousands of women tap into their most powerful selves. She's also been the center of campaigns for companies like Valentino and featured in online publications such as Vogue magazine. And let me tell you, her energy is contagious, and if this episode doesn't leave a smile on your face, well, I don't know what to tell you. We talk about Achiang's childhood in Kenya and how notions of health, beauty, and what a perfect

body looks like differs there from in the U.S. where she moved in her teens. She shares incredible, actionable advice for dealing with imposter syndrome and honestly, the single most transforming reframe of jealousy that I've heard. It's helped me so much just in the time since the interview. Fundamentally, though, this is an episode about confidence with stories and actionable, specific tips to help you feel proud of at home in. and excited by not just your beautiful body, but every facet of your wonderful self. As always, At Chang and I would love to hear what's resonating as you listen.

So tag me. I am at Liz Moody, and she is at No Ordinary Noir. And if you are new to the pod, remember to subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes, including one about the neuroscience of anxiety, an interview with my dermatologist about how to get glowing skin, and ask the doctor all about energy and so much more. And if you have anyone in your life who is doubting even for a second how amazing they are or not living as their fullest, truest self, send them the link to this episode.

Hype them up. It is rough out there. And the more of Achiang's type of energy that we can spread, the better. Okay, I love you. You're wonderful. Let's get into the episode. All right, Achiang, I so appreciate you taking the time to come and share your incredible energy with all of us.

I just feel like you're a beacon of positivity and lightness in the world. Oh my God. Thank you for having me. I'm excited. I came with clear skin, colors, nails. So I'm over-loved. I know. You could do some like ASMR with the nails again.

I know. I can be like, okay, now that everybody feels really calm and wonderful. How are you today? You just kind of got off. You went to Fashion Week and all of that, right? Yes. It was my first fashion week. And it was insane.

It was insane. It was insane. It was so much fun. but like every day it was work, work, work, work, work. And if I was like not at a show or like an event or an after party, I was like trying to maybe sleep or trying to get food, which like I was talking to one of my friends and she was like, you need to figure out your schedule.

You need to prioritize sleep, food, and drinking water. And those are things that I did not do at all. There are pretty basic things. Pretty basic things. It's just like you're on the go, go, go because you're in like the magic, the brilliance of fashion. week and it's like you want to be every at once but like have no time to like eat or drink and the only time you get to drink something that you're popping champagne somewhere or like drinking

so it's like it wasn't healthy but we made it you know we had a great time. How much of it was like work versus like fun? Like I feel like it looks so glamorous when you're watching it from afar. It was very glamorous for sure. As in like work for me would be like the fun part of like things that I love to do like you know taking pictures of outfits meeting different people in the industry, going to fashion shows, you know, and after parties. So it was very fun and glamorous, but like that was the work I was doing. Any memorable encounters, like celebrity encounters or anything? Yes.

Oh, my God. Sorry, I'm so excited. So Sacks had an event, like an after-party event. And like, I thought it was just going to be cute and kiki and low-key. It wasn't, which it was fine. Everybody was vaccinated. We love a vaccinated girl. But then some, those, just like a rush of like people trying to like get through like, move, move, move, move.

And I was like, what is going on? Don't push me. I'm here with you. And then Sarah Polson just walks past me and I'm looking at her. I'm like, oh my God. And she holds my hand. She's like, you look so beautiful. I love your outfit.

And at that point in time, I was about to pass away, you know, take care of on. But like Sarah Polson, like, she held my hand. And like, honestly, I felt like I shouldn't wash my hand for like a month because like she touched me, but I love her so much. She's amazing. She's amazing. Do you watch all the American horror stories? Yes, yes.

Yes. It's a good show and I love her. She's just, honestly, she's the white woman I love. And so it was fantastic. She makes the list. But she is fabulous in person and so sweet. And that was probably the highlight of my fashion week. Can I ask, like, so this is your first fashion week.

Yes. Do you ever feel moments of like when you're surrounded by all these, celebrities and all these designers and all of that. Do you ever feel moments of like imposter syndrome? Are you able to fully come to it with like, I deserve to be here? I fit in. Honestly speaking, I did feel very impostery in those moments. And I think it's just because like me moving into this space of like social media and growing a lot has happened so fast. So I just haven't had the opportunity to really process like, wow, this is what you're really doing. This is something I've wanted to do for such a long time. And then all of a sudden,

sudden like, boom, you're in it, girl. Be there, do what you've got to do. So there was so many moments. Like we, I was invited to LaConne Smith has had a met gala after party. And I attended that and just like, was feeling like, oh, am I supposed to be here? Like what's happening? Like, so many people are like taking pictures of me, all this, all these. It's just like, it feels scary. But my, my mom is like my number one fan. We've been besties since 1996, since I popped out the boom. And she always reminds me like, you have worked hard for this. You have worked so hard for this and you deserve to be there.

So relish in the magic, relish in the goodness. Like, this is for you. So be in there, own your shit. Be the queen that you know you are and just live your life. And as in, it's hard. It's difficult. But as in, I just have to realize like, dang, I've really put myself out there to get myself to where I am today, period.

So is that like the self-talk you have when you're like having? that little niggling imposter. You're like, do you hear your mom's voice in your head? I hear my mom's voice in my head, but also a lot of the times, if there's a bathroom close by, I go to the mirror and, like, say to myself or I just, like, record myself on my phone, like, listen up. You're amazing. You're a bad bitch. You did the work to get yourself here today. And I think if I don't do that, then I sort of like get lost in this space where I feel like, oh, I don't belong here. I'm not supposed to be here, then I just end up shrinking myself into a place where I can no longer just be who I really am. And so I think that that's just like a reminder. I have to like keep,

keep giving myself because if not, then I'll just end up shrinking myself into something that is not me, you know? We're going to talk about the giving too in a little bit because I do, I do think it's you give so much and I'm curious how you replenish that. But first, I'm curious, does your mom, like, understand your job? Like, I feel like my parents asked me. every other week. So how do you make money? I know. My parents don't necessarily understand my job, and it's so different. I come from a very conservative, traditional Kenyan family, where you can only be three things. If you're not, then you're a failure. So you can only be, so you can be a doctor, you can be an engineer, a nurse, or a lawyer. Yes. Those are the

four jobs. Like if your parents are introducing you to like somebody else, yeah, my daughter is a doctor. you know, my daughter is a lawyer. But now my parents don't really understand. They're very supportive of me and what I do. Wait, are they one of those for each of them? No, they're not. But my brother is. My brother is.

My brother is an engineer and he lives in Switzerland and he's, you know, doing the things. And we love that for him. And I was never really interested in any of those things. And for a really long time, I felt like I had to do it for my parents. I had to do it so I could get approval from this society that has this like, you know, gorilla grip on me that I have to impress everybody. And so when I came to the U.S. and was living in this space where I was just like was able to like be myself and freely like express myself with my fashion, with my hair, with my nails,

with my voice, I was like, hold on. But why should I be a doctor when I could be something? else that you know that I'm passionate about um and so right now my parents are they're getting I try and explain to them every time like I was trying to explain the Met Gala to them and they're like so people just wear nice clothes and they walk on a carpet for for pictures I'm like sort of but also it's like a really big thing yeah um and you know for a while my parents were just like yeah she's taking pictures she's taking pictures it's like mom I do more than that but she's making videos. But it's getting to a point where they really now understand that this is something I love.

This is something that is reaching a broader audience than just the people around me. And I think they're so proud and they're so happy and excited. And I always send my parents my outfit. And they're really hyping me up. They're like, yes, that looks so good on you. Wow, the lipstick. Wow, the hair. So they don't really understand, but they know that supporting me is something. that is really important for them and they know that I am happy and it took them a really long time to get to a place where they're like, wow, you've done all, you've gone to school for this long and you're not using your degree. Have you wasted your money? Have you wasted our money? But I think it's just got into a point where they're realizing, wow, this is something that

she loves to do. This is something that makes her happy and her being happy makes us happy. So do you have any tips for somebody who is like maybe wanting to try a life that their parents wouldn't be 100% on board with to get their parents to see that love and have that support like yours do? I can say it's very difficult because, you know, for most people like your parents are like your pillars, right? There's your support group. They're the people who you look, you know, up to or for advice or anything of that sort. but something that I realized is that I cannot live my life for anyone else, regardless of whether that is my family, my brother, my significant other, anybody. I cannot do that because I have one tantalizing sexy life on this earth,

and I'm going to live it for me. Because at the end of the day, who are you trying to impress? At the end of the day, who are you trying to live for? You're living for yourself. And it's difficult, I know it's difficult, but just getting to the point of where, like, you matter. Your happiness, your well-being, your life matters. And you deserve to live the life you want for yourself, right? And you deserve to create the reality you want. And nothing around you should stop you, whether that is your parents, you know, your siblings, anything,

you're living your life for you, period. It's almost like saying like these other people are valuable and but I am more valuable like I my I value myself more I can value my parents but I value myself more yes yes yeah okay so let's talk about you were born and raised in Kenya but then you moved to the US when you were 16 for like a study abroad type thing you lived with host parents yes so actually the family that I was living with here in the US were actually friends with when we're in Kenya so they were missionaries in Kenya and I went to school with their kids and I'm at some point they were like oh, we're moving back. And that was when I was graduating high school.

And I was really close friends with their son. And they were like, hey, so what are you doing? I was like, I don't know. Maybe I'll do this and this and this. And they're like, do you know, come back to the U.S. with us? And I was like, yes. Let's go. Were you scared?

I mean, that's a huge transition. Not at all. My family was very, like, scared. And like, oh, my God, you're just a small little baby. For me, I was like, yes. Like, you know, Oprah Energy. like excited to just be in a new space and do something new. And so I was like ready for it.

So I moved with them to Richmond, Indiana when I was 16. I did a year of high school, which was interesting. Oh my God. And then, yeah, I went to do my undergraduate and postgraduate, work for a little bit. And then now I'm here being a bad bitch of the internet. Was it what you expected when you were in Kenya being like, yes, I want to do this when you got to.

Indiana, where you like, this is what I pictured? Not per se. No, because, like, I had, like, seen things I'd seen on TV about, like, the U.S. was not Indiana at all. And was not giving Indiana, right? Like, I was on Disney watching high school musical. I was, like, watching, like, keeping up with the Kardashians and things like that. And, like, when I walked into school and nobody was singing and dancing, we're all in this ticket. I was like, this is a lie.

America, you lied to me. Okay? But it was very different from like just what I thought it would be. And as in, I'm grateful for the experiences that I went through because it definitely got me to the place that I am today. And like being in those spaces really pushed me to realize like, oh, I want to see more people like me on bigger platforms. I really want to see people who like talk like me, you know, walk like me, have the same body type as me in spaces where I look up to. And that's definitely has like poured into like creating, you know, the person I am right now or even just creating the platform that I have.

Yeah. Can we talk about, I feel like in Kenya, the celebrities, there would be people who would look more like you. Like what was that transition like? Like did you feel what, okay, let's talk about first. In Kenya, what was the ideal beauty standard, the ideal body type, all of that? So that's definitely changed over the last few years. but definitely like a more like full body curvy a woman is seen as like a more attractive

person because it also shows a lot about you. It shows social status. It shows what background you're coming from. It shows like how you take care of yourself and take care of your body, which is something like I had always viewed as like that is the norm. Like I never saw myself as different because there was women around me and also women that I looked up to who were representing like beauty, like Kenyan beauty. in that form, right?

It was never seen as like, oh, you look like this, you look like that. But something interesting is that I went to a few international schools where those people who are, you know, studying in that school from different countries. And their view of beauty was so different from what the norm was in Kenya. And, you know, those times people would say,

you have such big lips. But like, these teachers around me, these women around me, there's women in social media or in the internet, or the public eye who have big lips. So I was like, what do you mean? Like, is that a bad thing? How is that a bad thing when everybody around me has that?

And it's viewed as beautiful. Or is somebody coming up to me and saying, oh, you have such a wide nose. And it's like, well, that's interesting because everybody here has a wide nose. And it's like people from different countries who are coming into that space, who are trying to also impose their own, you know, standard of beauty, which was something I also felt like I struggled with. And I was thinking about that.

like, you know, once I moved here. And then now moving into this, into the U.S., and Indiana, which was like super, you know, predominantly white, and there was nobody who looked like me, you know. At that point, I was doing some sports where, you know, the coaches were telling me, oh, you need to lose weight so you can do this, or you need to, you know, wear this, so you can look like this and so on and so forth.

And it was like just so traumatizing for me. And at that point I was also living with a white, family who didn't really understand what I was going through, right? Even though they had spent a really long time in Kenya, living in Kenya before they moved back, their experiences were so different than like what I was experiencing in that moment where the people around me were telling me like, you look so different. You look, you know, like if I look, if, I mean, it made me feel like, if I look different, then is it bad or is it good? Or like then now trying to figure out like, how can I fit into this like not different?

category where now this society can really accept me for who I am. It's hard to picture you trying to like fit into a boring little box, but did you go through a phase where you were like, okay, I will conform. I'll try to like be, live by this white Eurocentric standard of beauty, anything like that? Oh, 100%. Yes. Yes, because I, like, I didn't want to feel other. It felt really bad to feel. other in a space where no one was just like trying to support you. And those times, yeah, those times I just would, I wouldn't eat for like a while. I would be like nibbling something and like try and be full so that I could lose weight.

I would, you know, really try and straighten my super forcey, like dense curly hair to look straight, like just like the way I used to dress, like just to make sure that I can fit into this box. Like, you know, this small, you know, town was trying to make me feel like I needed to look like. So, yeah. So what, when did that change? When was there a moment or was it just with age that you were like, I can be holy myself? And that can be the most lovable thing about me.

I think once I went to college, right now I started seeing like those different people. There was international students. There was people from different parts of the country who are just coming and living their lives freely. And in that moment, I was feeling like, yeah, wait, I can be who I am. There are so many people who were just like living in their truth. And I was like, that's so beautiful and that's so nice. And I remember like one of my friends was just like, she had like, just such a vivacious woman. And like she was a woman of color.

She had like a big afro. She was doing what she needed to do to live her life. And I would always look at her and be like, wow, that's like so amazing. and I wish I could do that. And she was like, you can. Just do you. Just live your life. And it took a while for me to like break away from that shell of like feeling like I needed

to like be and look like somebody to be accepted by, you know, people within that space and be like, I'm just going to live my life. I'm going to be loud. I'm going to be vibrant. I'm going to live my. I'm just going to do me. I'm going to be out here just like enjoying what, you know, I have for myself and enjoying what, you know, the magic and the power that I have.

have within myself. And so I think it had to had to be like a space where there was so much more diversity for me to realize like I did not have to fit into something. I could just be me. I'm curious if like, do you think social media? I'm like, how could you in Indiana get that feeling with that if I, if the other version of you couldn't move to Boston? Like, do you think social media is the other form of exposure people can get if they can't like physically up and go to a more diverse place with more role models and examples? Yes, but with social media, like you a hundred percent have to be like intentional about who you follow, right? For a really long time, I was following the Bella Hadid and the, you know, kind of generis of the world and feeling like,

okay, those are the women I'm seeing on my feed who I want to look like. But that wasn't helpful. So you have to be like very intentional about like where you're choosing. to put yourself and like the people you're seeing on your feet every day or the people's stories you're seeing or you know posts so you can like you can curate it in a way that like whoa those people look like me and talk like me and live like me and they represent the woman I want to be or the person I want to be so so we talked about sort of like the beauty standard in Kenya and the beauty standard in Indiana what do you think is beautiful now like what does beauty mean to you beauty is like for me it is just authenticity it is who I am right for me I have created my own beauty

standard and I'm living by it I don't care what anybody else says right so I'm going to be here to sexy living my life knowing that I am worthy I am it I am the moment I am everything and that you can come over here and impose your beauty standard on me like that's just not going to work okay so for me it is just like authentically like being myself it is me living in my truth and knowing that regardless of what society is telling me, regardless of what people are telling me like, oh, you need to be beautiful like this, you need to look like this, you need to wear this, it's like, uh-uh-uh. You keep your stuff over there, I'm a be here just doing me.

Like if I look bad to you, it's to you, right? If I look a specific way or act a specific way that makes you uncomfortable because I'm living my truth, it's to you. Let me be me. You're listening to the Healthier Together podcast. I get asked constantly about my favorite protein powders because, quite frankly, it can be really hard to find ones that have great ingredients and actually taste good. Using protein in green smoothies is key.

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I cannot wait for you to try this protein powder. I know that you're going to be as obsessed as I am. Now, let's get back to the episode. I'm curious. Okay, so like in action, what is that like? I saw, I was watching the video that you posted the other day about like, this is my bloat. This is normal. This is like, okay. Do you like get comments on a video like that that would people be like, it's not okay. You shouldn't be like that. Or like you see an ad that's like, you shouldn't be bloated. You should have this flat belly or whatever. Like in that type of instance, how does that perspective play out? Yeah, I definitely get quite a few comments,

especially when I do videos about my body, but it's not natural to have flabby arms. It's not natural to have roles. It's not normal. It's not normal to just have a normal body. And in those moments, as in sometimes I feel like I have time today and I'm ready to like school these people, like tell them this and this and this and that.

But at some point, like, for me, I'm just going to live my truth. Like, my purpose, I felt like I've got into a point where I just want to make people realize and know that, like, your body is normal. Your body is okay, right? Like, in this society where you have to be slim thick with a fat ass and big boobs and like a tiny waist, like, you can just exist in that space, living your life really beautifully, sexually within that space. I'm not feeling like you have to conform to somebody else's.

like idea or norm. And like it hurts me because it's especially women. It hurts me so much when women come onto my page and comment things like that. Like, oh, like, you know, your fooper is ugly or you're this or, you know, it just hurts me so much. Because it just reminds me like, wow, society has really put these women in positions where they feel like that seeing something that is like different or normal is ugly or hideous or, or just not worthy of being loved or respected, and that hurts a lot. But I think my purpose in life is to continue to, you know, further that narrative so that people in the world can see like, oh, that's normal.

That's fine. That's okay. It's not bad, you know? What about the perspective? This is like a health and wellness podcast, and I do think one of the more insidious ways that people critique people's body is to say it's not healthy or that I, a healthy body looks like this versus a sexy body or whatever. It's like one of the last almost like society's like,

oh, this is an acceptable way to make women feel like shit. And I'm curious how what your perspective is on a healthy body, especially because I do think it's interesting you said at the beginning that like in Kenya growing up, it was a different sign of health to have a little bit more curves. Yeah. I think something that like actually I found through social media is that healthy bodies look different. There's this lady, and I can't think of her name, but she's a beautiful, like, black woman who does yoga, like, and she's so fabulous and so good at it. And her body is

different. She has, not a different. Is it a different? I don't know. Okay. But her body is different as a, like, in terms of what society would be as healthy. But she is one of the healthiest women that, you know, like, who talks about like, body positivity, what she eats, what she does, how she's living her life healthily. And society wouldn't necessarily view that as like a healthy body. And something that I had to realize is that regardless of what season and reason my body is going through and if I'm genuinely taking care of myself, that I'm fine, that I'm healthy within that point. Like, I don't have to be so chiseled and all these things to be seen as healthy.

You know, it's the way you view yourself is what you're doing to have like a balanced life, whether that's in how you're living your life, the movement you're doing, what you're choosing to eat, where you're choosing to be, mentally, where you're choosing to like, who you're choosing to be with or so on and so forth. So I think I had to realize that different bodies, especially different healthy bodies, they don't have just one standard. And I think that's what society has made it feel like. Like you have to be super athletic and working out every day and doing all these things

so that you can be healthy. And that's so toxic, you know? It's also funny that you can, like, live in your body and, like, you can know what you feed your body and you can know how you meditate and how you move and all of that. But then somebody from the outside can say, like, oh, no, you're not healthy because of something I physically, like, because I view your arms as this way. And then that totally counters in your brain the fact that you live in your body 24 hours today and you know how healthy, like all the stuff you're doing for it, you know?

It's really interesting. Okay, I did a editorial series back when I was working as an editor full-time about wellness secrets from around the world. And I love wellness secrets from around the world. We would like interview people from different countries and just be like, what are you eating? Like, do you have like special teas? Like, tell us all the juice. Do you have anything from growing up in Kenya that was like a fun wellness secret?

This is like a dental wellness one that my grandfather used to use. is as in he we have like eucalyptus trees all over our home. Oh, that must smell so good. So good. And he would go and, you know, break one off and peel off the stick and then just suck on it or like move it through his mouth the whole like for whenever he's like if he's walking or talking and it would just like get your teeth like like stronger and like a little bit more wider. And I don't know if that was like, that was like, I've never done the history behind that. he always used to do that. And every time we went on a walk, he would pluck one and give us like little sticks to like chew and swish around our mouth. Huh. That's really interesting. Yeah. I think that's

the only one I can think about right now. But yeah. What about approach to food? Did you, did you, I mean, I feel like everybody talks about like the standard American diet and they call it the sad, because it's like sad. Sad. Did you, do you have eating habits from Kenya that you've held over here because they feel healthier or do you miss how you ate there at all or do you like stuff you've learned here about eating well? I 100% miss eating the way I ate in Kenya. It would be, as in something I would call like this in like a whole meal. There would always be like a vegetable with every meal that you eat. And it would always be like so filling. And I remember this story of like the first time I went back to Kenya to visit my family. Like like Kenyan's love languages is food,

right sharing food if you come to my home even if we just went to a restaurant and ate you're coming to my home and i'm going to ask you would you like some tea and cake would you like this or that or that food is like such a loving way to like be around people and just live life and just show love and the first time i went back home um i was in the city in the capital with my cousins and they had a feast they had like they made like rice and and ugali which is like um kind of like a staple food. It's ground up maze and you cook it in water until it's hard and that's what you use to like pick up different things.

Oh, interesting. They had like chicken. They had mutton. They had goat. They had all these things cooked because I was there. And I was there and I served like a little bit of rice and some beans and they thought I was sick. They said, please, please. If you're sick, tell us now.

If you're sick, please let this sickness leave you. I said, no, I'm full. They're like, but all this food, like, we made it for you because we love you. We made it for you because, you know, we want you to be full. We want you to be like just, you know, fullness is goodness. That's what my dad always says. Fulness is goodness. And like he, my dad always says, like, how are you going to live like a full life on an

empty stomach, right? And that's just like how Kenyans choose to live their lives. Like, eating back home is so, it's so festive. like regardless of where they're just having lunch with your you know with yourself or like having dinner with the family it's always so festive and exciting and I feel like when I came here like it was so different I was I had people in my life who when we went out to eat they would ask how many calories are in that or how many of this and I felt like oh maybe I should do that so I know how many calories I'm taking in or you know you there's never a menu in Kenya that says you know a skinny you know the skinny you know the skinny sections. Have you seen those? Like the skinny margarita or the skinny stuff, like those things were so new to me. I was like, why? Why would, like, why does food have to be categorized in like different portions or different ways like that? Where at home it's just like so lively and full and literally like over Christmas, which come to, come to Kenya, let me show you, let me show you how

we do it. But during Christmas, you're like, it's festive every day. There's a buffet every single day. at our house from the week of Christmas. It's like every day you feel like you've just eaten breakfast. They're calling you for lunch. You feel like you've just eaten lunch. There's 4 o'clock tea with cake. After 4 o'clock tea, there's dinner. And then there's 9 p.m. tea.

You're like, ooh, I'm full of life. I'm full of love. I'm full of, you know, just enjoyment. So, yeah. It's funny because I think that like diet culture obviously does that in deprivation culture. It robs the joy from food. But I do think that can happen in like health and wellness. culture as well when you're like, well, am I, like, eating the right, like, is this exactly

as healthy as it could be? What exactly is in this, blah, blah, blah. And I think that sometimes we forget about almost like the health benefits of approaching your food with joy and celebration and festivity and excitement. Yeah. And I will be honest and say, like, the first time I moved into the U.S., that joy was very much stifled, you know? Have you brought it back?

Like, do you feel like when you're eating now, you can bring the end? Yes, yes, because I definitely left that space where I felt like, oh, I need to eat specific things. I can't eat this. I can't, you know, mix this and this because I just was just at some point of just eating food just so I could kind of carry myself through the day. It was never like I'm eating food to fill my, my, you know, myself or nourish my temple or just like feel good. Like food is such a beautiful thing. And with being in the U.S., I've always wanted to keep my, my Kenyan roots very, very, very strong. I never want to like lose it because, you know, this society has different norms than I have in Kenya.

And, you know, I had to get back to a point where I was, you know, going through this healing journey of starting to like love myself and have confidence in myself where I was like, you know, food is something that like brings me joy regardless of like what I'm eating. I want to experience different cultures. I want to experience different people. I want to experience different, you know, spices and flavors. I bring, like, joy into my life. Yeah, 100%. I mean, it's almost like if you're taking it out as a category of joy, you're just like omitting this huge opportunity for joy that we, that we have available to us, you know? Yeah. Your fashion sense is incredible. How do you come up with your outfits? Like, what do you think about when you put them together? And I'm particularly because this is the How I Learned to Love My Body episode, I would love to know how dressing your body plays in to your fashion choices.

Just definitely something I've gotten to learn is that I was always following trends for a really long time. And some of those trends did not fit my body, did not flatter my body, did not, you know, just fit me in a way that I felt like, well, I look good. But I would always follow those trends because I wanted to be keeping up until I was talking to one of my friends. who had gone shopping and I was trying to wear to put on something and I tried it on and I was like I like it she was like you don't like it. You don't like it. You feel like can you express like how you feel there?

And we kind of just got to a point where I was like I guess the things that I'm trying to fit into just don't flatter my body type. And until I got to the point where I started to like find pieces and things that really flattered the way my body was looking, you know, I love clothes that just kind of like fit like a second skin that just like feel like one. It's just like not something that's too like, you know, extra hanging or something that is too tight or something that just feels like uncomfortable on the body. And so I started to get into this point where I was finding more clothing and outfits that flatter me, not just because they're trendy or just because they're there.

It was like things that look, you know, good with my body type. And also wanted to have that as like something that really speaks to my own personality. And so I love vibrant colors. I love things that definitely catch people's attention because that's the way I want to move through the world. That's what I want. You know, when the world views me, they're like, wow, bright, energy, goodness, positivity.

Like, that's 100% something that I want. And yeah, it took a really long time before I go to a point where I was like, yeah, I'm actually wearing things that flatter me or wearing things that, like, suit how my body is looking like right now as opposed to just what is on trending right now or what is, you know, good or what other people are wearing, but like what looks good on me. What do I feel sexy and what I feel confident in? And I think it's interesting the notion of flattering the body you have versus changing it. Like you said second skin and I picture people sort of like trying to jam their body into

something because it should be tight or like, yeah, hiding there. And I think to be second skin, you have to be confident in the first. skin, the skin that's underneath that. And so I think that that's, I'm, I'm curious how that learning to love and be confident with your body thing or perspective influence the fashion that you were able to choose and feel comfortable choosing. I think it started with like wearing things that were like very much outside of my comfort zone to sort of like try and find what exactly I love and what exactly, you know, I feel good and sexy and beautiful and happy. And comfortable in. And, you know, it started with like a point where, like, I started wearing like

crop tops because I was like super insecure about the way my belly was looking and would only wear things that like would hide my belly, like, you know, high, high rise jeans or like, um, like, um, like, wear something with like a corset or, you know, something that really, like, like, hid my belly. And so I would start with like wearing like, like, um, crop tops like around my apartment and be like, okay, this is cute. I feel free. I feel happy. or, you know, wearing like yoga pants or wearing like a bikini that I was never really comfortable with and being like, but I feel like free and comfortable in this. And I kind of, I love that.

You know, what is that telling me? How is that feeding into like what I should be looking at what my wardrobe should be looking like or what my fashion sense should be looking at? Because I never want to wear anything that is hiding my, like hiding like my body in terms of like constricting me into a space where I feel like, I'm not comfortable, you know? And so it had to get me to that point where I was just exploring different things that I have never tried before, exploring different, you know, fashion or different clothing pieces that I had never really thought about to see, like, wow, I feel comfortable and beautiful in this. I feel, you know, sexy and beautiful in this. And like, what does that look like for me as I move forward in just creating this capsule of outfits that, you know, vibe with my energy and vibe with my body?

So we talked about your self-talk for like imposter syndrome at fashion week. And I'm curious if you have like a self-talk or a trick for that moment when like you're walking on your apartment, you feel really good in the crap top and then you leave the apartment and suddenly you're confronted with like, oh, is is seeing my belly okay? Or you go to the gym and you're in like the sports bra and you're like, oh, should I have flat abs like that girl? Like for those moments where you're out in society and trying to practice the love of the clothes that you want to wear, but you're experiencing moments of doubt.

And I think in those moments of doubt, for me, it has always been a sense of comparison. I'm always comparing myself to the next, you know, woman or the next person and being like, oh, but she's wearing that and she looks like this and I don't look like that. Or she's doing this or they're doing this. And it's, you know, why am I comparing myself to that person or to that situation or that experience. And my dad always says comparison is a disease. It really is. It is, but I have it. I can't get rid of it. I know. And it's really hard because I think for me, like my journey has very much been an intentional journey of trying to get myself to a place where I so damn

badly love myself that nothing else and no one else, regardless of what is going on in their lives, will affect me or how moving in this world. And for me, in those spaces like when I'm like going out with a crop top or going out in the gym and like I'm like oh my body doesn't look like that. It's like why am I feeling like that or like why am I you know feeling like I'm different or other and I kind of like trying to figure out like the root of that as opposed to making it feel like oh there's something wrong with me or there's something bad with me. Like a more analytical like a more analytical thing because I want to figure out the root of like where is that coming from? Why am I feeling insecure right now because that other person looks different

from me or that other person's life looks different from me? Like, what is that in my head or in my body or in my soul that is making me feel like I'm so other it's bad? What is the answer to that usually when you're having that sort of analytical moment? Like could you just walk me through that in a real life situation briefly? Yeah. Like for example, if I walked out and I was wearing, let's say, like a bodycon dress and I saw another girl. I saw another girl and I'm like oh she looks really good and like that but she doesn't have like the fupa like I do or you know the roles are inching on her and why am I comparing myself to her it always tends to just like this rooted rooted belief that society has made me feel like I

need to fit into something to be beautiful and so it's like okay but why am I feeling that am I feeling insecure because I think she's more prettier than me am I feeling insecure because she, I feel like she is intimidating me in this moment with the way she's looking, the way she's talking, the way she's walking. And what can I do to counteract that so that I am not, you know, projecting this negativity to somebody else and also projecting this negativity to myself? Okay, so not to be a downer, but what if you're like, she is prettier than me? Like, I feel like I have moments where I'm like, she is prettier than me. She is more successful than me. And then I just kind of self-hate.

And in those moments, I feel like somebody else's greatness does not reflect on you. Somebody else's greatness does not make it seem that you are less, right, than whatever that other person is going through. And I think that's something that I still am kind of struggling with. Like, oh my God, she's got this and this or they've got this and this. Yes, we love that for you, sis. That's amazing. We love that that's amazing and beautiful.

But that her greatness, her magic, her power does not. not like downgrade where I'm at in my life or what I'm going through or what I'm experiencing or, you know, the things I've achieved. Like it's like we love that we celebrate you, but also realizing like you're in your own space. You're in your own power. And there's like enough. Like her greatness doesn't mean I can't have my like yeah, they're not. They actually, I think you said it well. They don't. They're not related. They're not in conversation with each other. So why are we trying to make it as if they are. Do you think there's like a practical tip to help in those?

Like is it sitting there and hyping yourself up or sitting there and just saying these aren't in conversation or like being trying to be happy for her and be like, oh, I'm so happy. You've experienced all these things and you have these things. Or like, is there a practical thing we can do in those comparison, icky feeling moments? Yeah. I think a practical thing is, yeah, recognizing that other person's space, right? and being like, you're there and that's amazing. You don't necessarily have to be like happy and excited and like, oh my God.

No, just recognizing that that person is in that space and that you're in your own space and in your own journey. And like maybe let that inspire you or let that spark a joy or spark some kind of something within yourself. So you're not feeling like, ooh, I feel bad that she's there and I'm not there. It has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to like, you. that person's success has nothing to do with your downfall or how you're feeling in that moment. Just realizing, like, you exist there, being a bad bitch.

I exist here. Being a bad bitch. And regardless of whether they're in different levels, that's fine because your journey is still moving. Right? And you will, one, you will at some point walk into that space and walk through that door and be like, okay, girl, I'm here. And then you'll just keep moving, you know?

And it's hard, but I think it is important to recognize that you are feeling like that so that you can now further move because if you're denying like, oh, I'm feeling bad, but she's better, all these things like recognizing like, yeah, I kind of feel intimidated by that. Like, what's that saying about, like, where I'm at? What's that saying about how I feel or where I want to be? Like, let that spark and ignite a fire within you that feels, makes you, like, like want to, you know, do something with yourself or maybe just stay where you are, you know.

It kind of depends on where you're at in your life as well. I love the idea, too, that like the energy you're spending, focusing on her journey is energy that could literally just be propelling you on your own. Period. Yes. Yeah. I love that. You're listening to the Healthier Together podcast. This week's podcast is brought to you by Athletic Greens, one of my favorite supplements. I discovered Athletic Greens, I don't know, maybe five years.

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much in a place in my life where I'm like so focused. I'm just being a bad bitch right now as in I'll kiss somebody a little here and there on a little cute day, but not actively like searching for like a significant person in that other in that capacity. But something that I have learned is that you will miss living your life, trying and waiting for your body to get to a specific space so that you can do something so that you can actually live your life freely. It is awful. It is toxic and it is it is what society has just made people feel. Like wait until you lose weight so you can, you know, fit into that dress

to go here or wait until you lose weight so you can have that summer body. What until you lose weight so you can fit into your wedding dress, you know? Like life is passing you by. Experiences, moments, feelings, people, relationships are passing you by as you wait. to look a specific way and a certain way to do something. And that's something I've had to come to terms with. There was a time I would never go to the beach. I would not go to the beach with my friends because I thought I just looked so different and so bad.

And I was like, I can't be in that space where I'm feeling like that. So I'm just going to stay here. There was so many times, you know, my friends were like, when I travel to this beautiful topical place, but I was like, well, but my body don't have my summer body. But I don't have this. My body doesn't look like this. and I would miss on such beautiful experiences and moments because I was waiting for that moment

where my body would get into something or look a specific way for me to live life. And until, like, it took a lot. Like therapy, is it my therapy? She's my girl. I love her. Heart. But she's really helped me get to a point where it's like, listen, life will continue moving. Experience and moments will continue happening.

and you are holding yourself back from that space and that moment by refusing to just live in the moment and live your life the way you look, the way you are in the space that you are right now. You will miss on those. And it's difficult, but yeah, it's true. I also think, first of all, the wedding one, I'm like, friend, your partner already wants to marry you. Like, why are you trying to change that now? You know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, the idea of dieting for a wedding dress, I'm just like, you have, you.

already have somebody who loves you exactly as you are enough to marry you. Why you try to change that? But I think the dating thing is, it's interesting too, because if you try to like look a certain way, like work, work to get a certain way that's not your most whole self and date. And then what are you supposed to do with the rest of your life if you find the part? You know what I mean? It's like if you you want them to love you in a way that you can be your whole of self because that's the person you're going to have to be for the rest of your life. Like if somebody only loves you because you're 20 pounds less, like the rest of your life's going to suck because you're going to have to be trying to keep that 20 pounds off, you know?

And yeah, and that's like definitely not a healthy way to start a relationship, you know, be with somebody that you want to be with. And yeah, those, like, I think I've just gone into the point where I really don't care what the male gaze has to do with me or what they think. Like, this is, this is who I am. This is what I'm bringing to the table. If you can't handle it, that's on you baby. And you miss now.

Like, you know? And I think, yeah, my friend, literally, she got asked out on a date and she had bought like a few different outfits. We're like, girl, you look good and all of them, wear them. But for her, she got into a place in her mind because she had seen this guy's social media and the women he was hanging out with were not women who look like her. And so she felt so insecure and she said, no, I'm not going because I look different. My body looks different. You know, he's hanging out with all these women who just look more. like socially accepted, you know? And I was like, girl, you're missing out on this

experience with somebody who like is really interested in you and really wants to be with you. Like don't let society or whatever other people are saying stop you from having this experience to live freely, to be loved, to be, you know, cherished and respected and like just, you know, and it was just like really hard for me. Did she go? No, she didn't. She didn't go. It's also like, So like my life motto is never be the one to say no to yourself. So it's like maybe she had gone out on the date and it hadn't worked out. They hadn't been a match. But like that's a no that to maybe no.

And by her not going at all, it's like a definite no, you know? That's like that's a little heartbreaking. Yeah, it was. And I think like she's probably not the only person who's experiencing that, you know. And probably people around the world who are stopping themselves from, you know, living their lives because of where they are in their lives in terms of how their body looks because society is like, you got to be like this to do this. You've got to be like this to be here. And it's frustrating. You mentioned therapy. Do you have any other sort of like tools in your toolbox

for feeling like the bad bitch you are every day? Dancing. Definitely. For me, like if I'm feeling down, like when you have your body in motion, I feel like for me, it just changes a a lot because I feel like I store a lot of tension and trauma in my body, whether that's my jaw when I have it clenched all the time or like my shoulders because I'm tense or my knees. It feels like when I'm moving, it feels like I'm just like releasing that tension and just kind of like leaving, you know, bringing a new energy into my body. So definitely dancing. Get your favorite song on and just start gooving, grooming, groving. So I would say, um, being in motion and I definitely write every, like every time, like I'm feeling sad and like,

right, or even when I'm happy, just like, I just journal a lot. And I love that I can like go back and look like six months ago, like what was I feeling, what was I doing and how far come. I think that that growth or the changes that happened between that time, whether it's a week or a day or a year or six months, I like seeing that because it shows me that like my life is not linear. my feelings, my emotions are not linear and that I keep on going through stages and phases and seasons and reasons to like, you know, keep moving and keep being me. I love that. I was going to ask, I mentioned at the top of the episode, I think you do. You give so much to other people. And I also think it takes energy to kind of change public

perceptions and to share messages that other people aren't sharing. So I'm curious how you replenish and restore that energy? Is journaling like a big thing for that? Or is there anything else you do to kind of like, I don't know, like reset and restore? Journaling is a big thing. And that's like kind of how I process a lot of what I go through. Definitely, like I love being around my family, whether it's my family here in the States or back home and just like talking. I think I need people and things to ground me because sometimes I just keep like getting like into different levels and situations where I'm like oh my god I need something to just like hold me and bring me down um so definitely being around people just that um are able to like remind me of like my reality and like who I'm around and what I'm doing um and what else

would I say those things two things yeah being with people talking talking to people and and journaling are pretty big things to, like, kind of ground me and, like, have me self-reflect. Yeah, I think community is also, like, so underlooked almost as, like, a wellness tool. Like, it's like, we're like, so, like, what are you eating? How are you meditating? How are you moving? And I think that, like, there's been a thousand studies that show the importance of community for our physical health and for our mental health, you know? Yes. And I think it's just so underlick, okay, I'm going to do a little bit of, like, it's going to be a pseudo speed round. But I want to just talk about confidence. Yes. what makes you feel the most confident in your life?

Ooh. What makes me feel confident? I think I'm just going to say myself. Like, I have come through a really long journey. The very first day, like I was traveling to the U.S. was in 2013. And I have gotten braids. And I lived in a space where, like, I wasn't really allowed to, be myself. Like, I'd always be told to be quiet. Stop asking questions. Stop doing this,

this and this and this. And I remember I had my braids up on my cousin, came up and she said, can I see your hair down? And I was like, no, it will make me look inappropriate. And she was like, no, girl, take your hair down. And so I took it down and I asked her like, is this too much? She was like, no, it's just you. And like, I feel like when I see myself back there and I see how far of calm, it's just like, it's insane, you know? And so I would say like, just being authentically me. Like, I think I was in a space where I was so stifled, in a space where I was so, you know, put into this small box to be shrunk. And I would say, like, yeah, being me, being authentically me just makes me confident. I think that's just what reminds me

that, like, wow, what you're doing in this world, how you're moving through, you know, life right now is just magical and fabulous and fierce. And so I'd say me as in like I make myself confident. Yeah, I'll do that. Do you agree or disagree with the statement that like being yourself is a muscle and the more you work it out, the stronger it gets and the easier it gets? 100%. I agree with that.

I feel like you like embody that for me. Like you were like I, like did you like almost like fake it tell you made it with the confidence? I think at first I felt like yeah, I just have to act. like I am to get myself to that point. And it just, I feel like it worked. And I think some people are like, you know, it's just such a weird way to get to the point you want to be. But I had to literally trick my brain, my mind, my everything,

to being like you are, you are it. You're the moment. You're iconic. Your confidence comes from within you. You just need to act like that person to be that person. And literally it's worked. It's, for me, it might be different for different people and different processes.

But for me, I had to trick my brain into thinking that that's the person that I was, for me to actually live in my own power. And now that muscle is, like, strong and tone to, like, it comes really naturally. It comes really natural. Like, yeah, like, there was a few, like, fashion shows where, like, my seat was, like, in the back. I was like, like, girl, how am I going to see these sexy women? And, like, just walking in with, like, just walking in with. like confidence and with purpose and like being to myself like yeah I belong in this space yeah I'm

supposed to be here and I would walk in and they were like oh oh I know your seat is back there but come up here and I did not have to come with confidence and where you're walking into spaces the way you are you know treating the people around you the way you are speaking the way you are interacting just like like like radiates an aura like a magic a power that other people feel like, either safe around or like attracted to. Yeah. I love that. If you had one tip or piece of advice for people listening to this, they're like, I want to be that confident.

I want that so bad, like that they could actually action today. What would you say? I would say you have one life. You literally have one life on this earth. And you have the power to create the reality that you. want for yourself. So just start it. I know this might be hard for people, but stop worrying about what society and people have to say about you. Like, do their opinions pay your bills? Like, do their thoughts and opinions like get you to the next space? No, they don't. They only stifle you and bring

you down. So just start, start that, you know, that process. Start believing that you are worthy of literally everything and anything in this world. This life has been. been about you. It's always been about you. And there's no one and nothing that can stop you from living your highest self. If that person, that person could be you. But girl, break it down. Break it down. I'm curious actually, because you're a big journaler. Is there like a journaling prompt that you could give people that could like help them get in touch with that inner person who isn't limited and who is kind of, if they wanted to have a journaling prompt to like get in touch with more of their inner you that you could give them?

For every journal entry, I always start by writing, you're safe, you're loved, vibrantly and unconditionally, and you're going places. I always start with that to remind myself like, Bay is a purpose here. There is a tomorrow. There is a future that is brighter. And then I, for the beginning of, sometimes the end, but the beginning of my journaling, I write the person I want to be or the person that I aspire to be in present tense, sort of like manifesting.

I am happy and grateful that I am confident. I am happy and grateful that I am this. I'm happy and grateful that I am living. So writing that in present tense so that when you're reading that or even just like writing it or reciting it in your head, it's very much feels like it's your reality. It's happening. I'm happy and grateful that I'm confident because I am. I'm happy and grateful that I am living in my true self because I am.

So I would say those two things are things that have definitely helped me for sure. What would you say to somebody who's like trying, who's like, I'm happy and grateful that I'm confident, but then life keeps knocking them down like their boss keeps saying your work sucks. Their friends keep like making their mom keeps making like little comments about their body. They keep going out on dates and the person they're going out on dates with keeps not being interested in. Like, would you have anything to say to them? Yeah, I would say like that very much feels like it's, it's different because like if those are people that are very much in your life, it's hard. But for me, I would say like that is very much outside noise. And like this is something

I had mentioned earlier in that you have to live your life for yourself. And in those spaces, if it's possible, maybe removing yourself from that space and having people, other people in your life that can support you in the way that you need to be supported. And it's, yeah, and I keep on saying this is difficult because, like, if it's your family, like these are people that, like, you know, are supposed to love you, you know? And it's difficult and it's hard. And I think it's getting to a point where you feel so secure in yourself. And maybe that's with seeking professional help if it's possible or finding that person in

your life that you can get that help from or starting to even just do something that you love, that you were like, I'm afraid to do this, but I love this so much. And I'm just going to put myself out there in, like, hopes that most of the time in hopes that it will bring you joy and inspire you to, like, do something or get to the next level or not feel like you're tied down by, like, society's opinions of who you need to be or how you need to be or how you need to act or live or move throughout this world. I love the idea you said it right the beginning of, like, balancing it. Like, say you can't take your mom who's always commenting on your body out of your life,

but because you add in a person who's always like hyping up your body. You know what I mean? Yeah. I love that idea of like, well, I'll even it out. Yes, yes. So what's next for you? Are you like, what's next for your brand, your business? Are you going to be like bi-continental?

Like, are you going to be back and forth with Kenya in the U.S.? You mentioned moving to New York before we started recording? Yes. There's so many things I want to do with myself and my brand. Like my brand right now is very much like, social media, but I want to extend it into something that is more tangible. And I have a few ideas in mind. Something that I'm very passionate about is like making people feel like they can just wear what they want and what they feel comfortable in and just feel like they're on top of the

world and that they are majestic and powerful and sexy and beautiful. And so I would love to like maybe create, let me speak it into existence. I would love to create, you know, a clothing brand where people feel like, wow, this is something I can wear regardless of body type, regardless of what your skin, your skin tone, regardless of what, you know, your disability or anything, that you are just able to wear clothes that just make you feel good and happy and beautiful. And that's something I really want to do. And I don't know how it's going to look like, but it's something that I'm very passionate about it.

And I would love to bring out to the world. I would love to do more like speaking engagements where just on top of high. typing you up on social media, you're like, wait, hold up. There's a, there's a, a branch or a conference or something I can go to and, like, really learn something from this, as opposed to just feeling like, oh, I feel confident off of viewing your videos. It's like, I feel confident off of this experience I just had with you or this moment we just experience or this talk or so on and so forth. So something more tangible is what I want to expand to. And there's a lot of things I'm thinking about, but keep your eyes out. I want to just point out really fast.

everybody listening what you just did, which was you were like, it's not a maybe, it's not hesitant. We hear what we say about ourselves. We hear the words that we choose and the attitude with which we approach our dreams. And I think you just did a really powerful little moment of correction that people could learn from honestly. And myself, too, like I'm really trying to be cognizant of the words that I'm thinking and choosing about myself because I'm listening to myself all the time. I'm listening to myself more than anybody else is listening to me. And I think that that little correction you did, it's like little, but it really matters. Yeah, it does. It does. And I think there was this like thing I was reading on the internet is like those friends

who change your if to when. Like so, for example, like you're talking about like a business you're trying to create. And it's like, well, if I start the business, it's like when you start the business or like if I do this it's like when you do this like I love I love that support and like sometimes um you have to be your own best friend you have to be your you know the person who is pushing yourself because something that I learned is that at some point the motivation won't come the person who you is telling you get up move do this won't come that push that zeal sometimes will come and you have to do it for yourself you have to get up and be like that like, okay, this is what I'm doing.

You know, you have to be your best friend in the mirror saying like, oh, not the if, but when I do this, this is what's going to happen. When I'm this, this is what is going to happen. And it's something I'm learning too, because for a really long time, I was afraid of being by myself and being alone. And not necessarily when it has to do with like relationships like a significant other, but like with friends and family. And like the pandemic very much showed that.

like those times where I was, it was just like I was quarantining by myself and who the heck is going to get me up to cook, who the heck is going to motivate me to get up and do my work. It was me, you know? And so sometimes you just have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, hey, Vestie, you're amazing, you're fabulous, you're fantastic, you're worthy, you're it, you're the moment, you're iconic, you're a legend, period. I love it. So surround yourself with expanders, but most importantly be your own biggest expander. Yes. If people wanted to keep up with you, find you on social media. Where should they go?

You can find me tantalizing and being sexy on Instagram 24-7-365 at No Ordinary Noir with an E or on TikTok with the same No Ordinary Noir. And that's where you can find me. I'll be expanding to more platforms soon so you can see a little bit more into my life and all the things I do. But for now, that's where you can find me. Amazing. Well, I so appreciate you taking your time to share your wisdom and your energy and you're just, I don't know, you're a sparkly magical person. And I really appreciate you sharing that

with all of us. And I'm so excited to see what's next for you. Thank you so much, Liz. You're awesome. I hope you do something beautiful and sexy for yourself tonight or today or tomorrow or forever because you're fabulous. Thank you for having me. I hope you love this episode. I hope you have a big smile on your face. I hope you feel confident. I hope you feel sexy. If you did love the episode, episode, I would so appreciate a quick rating or review on whatever podcast app that you listen to podcasts on. It really helps people find the pod, which is why we are always asking for it as podcast hosts. It really does make a huge difference, though, and it is massively appreciated it, and I read every single review, and I love you all for them. Also, if you know anybody out there

who could benefit from A Cheyeng's amazing wisdom, her energy, her joy, her charisma, her love for herself and life that she shared in this episode, please send them to that. the link. I would love to spread more of this type of energy and have more of this type of energy out in the world. And if you were sent this episode by somebody in your life, first of all, say thank you. Tell them I said thank you. I really appreciate them. And then subscribe so you don't miss out on any future episodes. We have some amazing ones coming up for next Wednesday. We're doing weekly episodes now. So next Wednesday, we have a new amazing episode dropping and then every Wednesday after that. All right. I love you.

I hope you have a beautiful day and I will see you in the next episode of the Healthy Together podcast. I'm genuinely confused how masterclass gets literally the absolute top people in every single field to teach every single one of their classes. I use it when I want to learn things directly like the cooking class from Thomas Keller has all of the wisdom that you would normally have to go to culinary school for. But also, I'm being honest, this is like a use case I don't hear a lot of people talking about. I'll just watch it for entertainment when I want to do something that's far more interesting than scrolling. Christina Aguilera taught me to sing.

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