The Liz Moody Podcast - I Hit Rock Bottom—This Is The One Tool That Changed Everything

Starting point is 00:00:00 When I was in the absolute worst time of my life, I learned a tool that I credit for my career, my friendships, my house, pretty much everything good in my life. It came from my darkest moments when I was agoraphobic. I have told bits and pieces of this story before, but this podcast has become so much bigger since then. And I also haven't shared in detail how this time period ended up having this incredibly positive impact on my life, how I learned this simple and effective tool that you can use to to get everything that you want in all areas of your life. So that is what I thought I would get into

Starting point is 00:00:35 today. When I was in my late 20s, I spent literally months in bed. It was 2013, I had moved to London, England. Zach had gotten into graduate school and it was going to be a two-year program, and I was so excited because I self-identified as a person who traveled. I had lived in Berlin at this point. I'd lived in Buenos Aires. I lived in Amsterdam. I was like, I am an adventure. This is part of my self-conception. I was super stoked. So we packed our bags. We paid for a very expensive plane ticket for our cat Bella and we went to England. And for the first few months, everything was great. We were exploring. London has markets everywhere and all of the neighborhoods. So we'd go to the Columbia Road Flower Market and we went to Borough Market. I was already noticing some red flags,

Starting point is 00:01:21 though. One thing I didn't realize about London is that it's incredibly spread out. Zach's school was over an hour away from our house, so he would invite me to come do stuff. But by the time I'd get ready, get on the tube and get there, if him and his friends were like hanging out, having a beer at the local pub, that was over by the time that I got there. I was writing a book at the time, which did not end up being published. But writing full time meant that I was very isolated. I didn't get a job where I went to an office. And I essentially didn't have the opportunity to make friends in that way. Okay. Let's roll back even for the to when I was 19 years old. I was traveling in Brazil by myself in my aforementioned adventure era,

Starting point is 00:02:03 and I was also anorexic at the time. I wasn't really eating anything, and I also was doing a lot of drugs. I was very much in my party era, and I ended up buying weed from a questionable source and smoking that weed on the beach in Rio by myself. And I hadn't eaten for a very long time, and I remember sitting there on the beach. I had just smoked this joint and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm really hungry. So I got up and I went to order a burger at a burger place and I had a seizure. It's interesting because it felt traumatic and scary at the time like I went to the hospital and I saw some really gruesome things there. But I just kept on partying. I kept traveling in South America and I kept having these episodes where I would feel really dissociated and I would

Starting point is 00:02:54 I would sit down and I would smoke a cigarette. And I thought that I was preventing having a seizure, but actually I was having a panic attack. The doctors had clearly said that I did not have any sort of seizure disorder. I just was in this very extreme circumstance, which at the time I did not think was extreme, which was part of the problem. So, starting at that time when I was 19 years old, I would have these panic attacks somewhat regularly, maybe once or twice a month. And in my head, every time one of these episodes happened, I was like, I'm preventing having a seizure. But really, I was having panic attacks that were the result of the PTSD from having this seizure in this foreign country completely by myself.

Starting point is 00:03:36 Okay, zoom back to London. These panic attacks, which I had somewhat normalized in my life at this point, started to become more and more frequent. It started to go from a few times a month to every week and then a few times a week. and then I started to have panic attacks every single day. And again, I was really conflating this idea of having a seizure with having a panic attack. My heart was pounding. My chest felt really tight.

Starting point is 00:04:01 My body felt like it was floating out of my body. And I felt like I had to grab this part of myself that was like floating away and pull it back into my body. And because I had conflated these feelings, doing anything outside of my heart, house started to feel really, really unsafe. And then doing anything outside of my bed started to feel really, really unsafe. After a few months in London, I was having these episodes, which I now know are panic attacks a few times a day. And this is also when my OCD behavior became really extreme. In Brazil, when I had the seizure, I went to the hospital. And like I said before, it was pretty traumatic. I saw people bleeding out. It was honestly really awful. But at this hospital, the doctor who was helping me,

Starting point is 00:04:53 who ran a bunch of tests, basically the only diagnosis that he gave me was, your blood sugar is low. He tossed me a pack of potato chips and he was like, eat these, this will fix it. And that really stuck in my head. Like, your blood sugar is low. That is what caused your seizure. And I think in part because I already had this really screwed up relationship with food, food started to take on this real anti-anxiety role in my life. I became like, okay, my blood sugar is low. If I can prevent my blood sugar from ever being low, I can prevent this weird dissociative feeling and I can prevent myself from ever having a seizure again. It's so interesting to look back now and realize that I was essentially back to toxically regulating my emotions with my food take, just

Starting point is 00:05:41 in a different way. So I was living in England. I was starting to have these panic attacks born more and more frequently. And I had this voice in the back of my head like your blood sugar is low. Don't let your blood sugar be low. So I went and bought one of those home blood sugar test kits where you prick your fingers. And I started pricking my fingers to measure my blood sugar to ensure that my blood sugar wasn't dropping low like 20 or 30 times a day. My fingertips were just raw and oozing blood because I was trying to assure myself that my blood sugar wasn't low and thus that I was safe from having one of these episodes. And I just remember this day super clearly where Zach invited me to a pub to watch a rugby game. And the idea of that felt so anxiety producing. My chest

Starting point is 00:06:31 like seized up. I couldn't breathe. My palms got really sweaty. And I was like, I cannot go do this. And then I was so scared because I was like, how can I not go do this incredibly normal thing? Like, how can I not be able to go and watch a rugby game at a pub? It was so contrary to every idea that I had of who I was in my head, every bit of how I conceptualized my own identity. I just started to spiral more and more in on myself and I became more and more afraid of anything in the outside world and more and more just felt like my bed was the only place that I could really truly feel safe. Most of my day I spent horizontal in bed, actually watching a

Starting point is 00:07:17 lot of YouTube videos of different people with anxiety. I remember I watched Amanda Seyfried on one of the nightly talk shows and even just feeling like, oh, okay, there is somebody else out there who went through this made me feel so much better. There's also a British YouTuber named Zoella, Zoe, and she talked a lot about her anxiety. And I was like, okay, other people have dealt with this stuff and they survived. And that is honestly one of the reasons why I will not shut up about my anxiety story now because I feel like as a person who came through on the other side,

Starting point is 00:07:53 who now has any kind of public platform, if there is somebody who is out there in bed watching or looking for these types of people to just get that little sliver of hope. I feel like it is my responsibility to pay forward what people like Zoella and Amanda Seifre gave me at that time without even realizing it. And it's my responsibility to put my story out into the world. I had been a writer and a journalist for years at this point. And my mind naturally sort of thinks in questions. I was like, where is all this anxiety coming from? Why do I feel so unsafe? What is happening in my brain? What is happening in my body? And most importantly, how do I get out of this cycle? So I'm lying in bed and this is just how my journalist brain works. I start emailing people. And these are people that at the time I felt like I had no right to email. I wasn't writing for any sort of publication at the time. I could. barely get out of bed. I had raw oozing bloody fingertips. But I did it anyway. I started

Starting point is 00:09:02 emailing anybody who I could think of who might have answers to what was happening in my brain and my body, anybody who I could think of who might be able to help me figure out what I could do about it. Most of these people did not write back. I would say 98% of them did not write back. But 2% of them did. And that 2% started to give me information from their various areas of expertise. The RD started to tell me about food. The neuroscientist started to tell me about how my brain worked. And what I realized is this. One, never be the one to say no to yourself. This is one of my life mottos. I believe in it so firmly, so strongly. Somebody else might say no. Like a lot of those experts did not write back and that was completely fine. But you never know. But you never know.

Starting point is 00:09:49 know when you're going to get a yes. It is always, always, always worth not being the one to say no to yourself. This experience was so hugely affirming of that truth and that truth has carried over in so many other parts of my life. Never be the one to say no to yourself is how I got my husband. It's how I got my book deals. It's how I started my podcast. It's how I've gotten so many podcast guests. I hear from so many listeners. I hear from you all the time. People who've gotten raises and partners and had all of these incredible things happen in their lives because they said, okay, other people can tell me no, but I am not going to be the one to say no to myself. Did you know that more than two-thirds of protein powders tested have lead levels above

Starting point is 00:10:37 California's Prop 65 safety limits? And in some cases, they have more than 10 times over. And a broader study found that nearly half of top-selling U.S. protein powders exceeded those safety limits with more than 20% clocking in at twice the allowed levels. This is so important because protein is something that a lot of us consume every single day, trying to be healthier, and then we're consuming something that's actually making us less healthy. A huge wellness tenant that I talk about is pay attention to the stuff that you do a lot, like every single day. The occasional stuff does not matter nearly as much, but that's why protein powder matters a lot. That's why I switch to pure grass-fed way protein.

Starting point is 00:11:18 Puri takes transparency to a whole new level because every single batch is third-party tested against 200 plus contaminants, and they publish all of the results online. You can even scan a QR code on your bag to see the exact test results of your specific batch, which I have never seen another brand do. Each serving delivers 21 grams of clean, grass-fed weight protein, and it's free from hormones, GMOs, and pesticides. Plus, the flavors are so good. There's bourbon vanilla, which has real vanilla. Nellaseeds from Madagascar and dark chocolate, which has organic cocoa powder. I also just really quick because I do take this every single day. I want to shout out their creatine. I take it every single morning for my brain health.

Starting point is 00:12:00 I have an entire episode about creatine if you want to dive further into that. But TLDR, the hype is very real and very justified based on the research. And then I also take their fish oil, which has the specific ratio of DHA and EPA that MyRD said is best for inflammation and for brain health. And again, if you're taking these things daily, you want them to be as pure as possible, which is what Puri's whole brand is all about. Right now, you can get 32% off of your Puri grass-fed way when you start a subscription, plus a free shaker worth $25 on your first order, totaling $49 in savings.

Starting point is 00:12:35 Go to Puri.com slash Liz Moody and use code Liz Moody at checkout for this exclusive offer. You're going to get a discount on any of their products if you use code Liz Moody, but then this is an extra special offer. So go to puri.com and use code Liz Moody. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. One of the easiest micro habits to change your diet is to stop giving yourself the unhealthy option, the option you don't want to reach for in the first place. Because on days when I'm running around nonstop, I am not thoughtfully planning snacks.

Starting point is 00:13:08 I am grabbing whatever's quickest. And that usually means something that is loaded with sugar and additives. It's not going to make me feel good because that's just like what you can buy when you're out these days. So the key is to plan ahead, and I do that by keeping IQ bars in my car and in my bag, so no matter how busy the day gets, I already have a smart, healthy option ready to go. These were one of the bars that my personal RD recommended for me as I worked with her over the course of a year to lose 30 pounds in a healthy way, and I truly, truly love them. This is the perfect time to try IQ bars ultimate sampler pack that includes brain and body boosting bars,

Starting point is 00:13:43 mushroom coffees, and more. All of their products are entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial sweeteners. There's a reason why IQ bar has over 15,000 five-star reviews and counting. It's because IQ bars have more fiber. Fiber is going to be the word of the day this year, I promise you guys. They have more fiber, less sugar and carbs than other protein bars, and they actually somehow, even with all of that, still taste good, which is truly a miracle. The problem with so many protein bars is that you can either have the good-for-you ingredients,

Starting point is 00:14:14 or you can have something delicious, but not both an IQ bar somehow jumped in to solve that problem. So thank you very much IQ bar. Mint chocolate chip is my absolute favorite flavor, but there are nine different IQ bar options that are all great. So try them all and let me know which one you like the best. Right now, IQ bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ bar products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text Liz to 64.3.

Starting point is 00:14:44 text Liz to 6400.000. That's Liz to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. You guys ask me constantly if the hype around red light is real and the answer is yes, but with one huge caveat. Most of the devices on the market aren't actually powerful enough to make a difference. But if you get one that is, it can transform your skin, your pain, your energy, your hair, even your mood. I know it sounds too good to be true. So here's the science in the nine. buddies of nutshells. Red light targets your mitochondria, the powerhouses of your cells, giving them more energy to repair, regenerate, and function better. That's why you get the local benefits wherever you're using the red lights. You get less knee pain or cramps or better skin or thicker hair. But also because you are helping your mitochondria, you get general benefits,

Starting point is 00:15:34 like more energy and less anxiety. There are literally thousands of studies spanning everything from faster recovery and healthier thyroid function to reduce depression and anxiety, reduce joint pain, skin and hair health, all because the light works on the mitochondria wherever you place it and on your body as a whole. The huge problem is that the vast majority of red lights on the market are nowhere near the right dose level or what's called a radiance to actually have those benefits. That is why I love loombox. It was founded by a doctor who could not find a device that actually met the studied standards to have real results. So she made her own. It is a lightweight portable panel. You can hold it in your hand. So you can use it for your face. You can use it for your scalp.

Starting point is 00:16:19 You can use it anywhere that you need it. It's really easy to travel with, which is so nice. I love putting it on my head for headaches, and it is a godsend for cramps. And of course, I use it every single day on my skin. Each bulb amidst both red and near infrared light. Wave lengths and irradients are third party verified. It's FDA registered, which is so rare. It's really less of a beauty gadget and more of a medical device that also happens to be great for beauty. So if you have been curious about trying red light therapy, Loombox is the one that I would recommend. And right now you can get 40% off,

Starting point is 00:16:55 40% off when you go to theloombox.com slash Liz. One more thing. If you have an HSA or FSA, Loombox may qualify as a medical expense through TrueMed and qualified customers save about 30% on average. You can head to trumed.com slash loombox to check your eligibility before you buy. Trimet is for qualified customers.

Starting point is 00:17:15 HSA FSA tax savings vary. Again, though, go to the loombox.com slash liz for that 40% off. And then the second thing that I learned is really the basis for this entire podcast, for everything that I'm doing here, which is that there is always, always a lever that you can pull. No matter how hopeless you feel, no matter what your life feels like at the moment, there is always a thing that feels tiny, but actually doing it makes such a, a big difference. It could be as simple as asking a question. There is always something that you have

Starting point is 00:17:50 agency over. There is always something that is in your control. I think that this is what a lot of the health and wellness conversation, especially online, is missing. A lot of people are biohacking to add all of these years to their life. But in the name of adding all these years, they're spending hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars adding things to their to do list. And I am just not about that. Like the trade does not feel worth it to me. And then there's this other part of the personal growth wellness world that's like, you can do this. I believe in you. You've got this girl. And look, I do think that the way that we talk to ourselves is important. But if somebody is just telling me you can do this without telling me how, I'm going to be like, no, what are we doing here?

Starting point is 00:18:37 Like I want to know, first of all, I want scientific evidence. Evidence is a huge part of what motivates me to do something. It gives me that belief like, oh, this is shown to be effective. This has worked for other people. I'm always looking for that. And then I want to know what are the levers? What are the action steps? What are the specific things that I can do? It's not like, oh, girl, you can do it. It's like, how can I do it? That's what I'm always, always looking for. And that is what I promised to give you with this podcast, the hows that are hard to see that not enough people talk about, but that can really move the needle. I do not believe in creating new problem so that we can solve them. I do not believe in adding a million things to our already overwhelming to-do lists.

Starting point is 00:19:22 If you do not feel good in something in your life, I'm going to help you identify it. I'm going to name that thing and then I'm going to be like, okay, let's help you find what the small action is that you can do that's going to make a big difference. What are the levers that you can pull here? For me in London, the first lever that I could pull was just sending those emails. That was something that was in my control that I could do when I was lying there in bed with my computer propped up on the pillow next to me. I could do that. Even though I was having panic attacks multiple times a day, even though my fingertips were literally bleeding, that was still agency that I could exercise. And then I started doing the tiniest, tiniest things first.

Starting point is 00:20:06 I started meditating just from my bed. I started changing the way that I ate because of the way that different nutrients impact our brains and our bodies. I started doing yoga on the little sliver of floor at the foot of my bed in my bedroom because of the impact that movement has on mental health. So this is the big thing that I want to leave you with today. Think about something in your life that you're like, I hate this thing, but it's out of my control. Like I hate my job, but the economy is bad and I can't get a new one. I feel low energy every day, but I don't have time to get the sleep that I want. I want a partner, but I have dated every single available person in my town, maybe in the whole state.

Starting point is 00:20:48 I want you to think about a problem that you have, that thing that you've identified that doesn't make you feel the way that you want to feel in your life. Then I want you to think, what is one small bit of agency that I can have here? What is one small lever that I can pull? If you feel stuck in your job, can you make a friend at work, which research shows impacts our happiness even more than the actual work that we are doing at our jobs? If you feel tired every day, can you take a quick walk in the morning to set your circadian rhythm, which will give you more energy during the day and also help you sleep better at night?

Starting point is 00:21:23 If you are struggling to find a partner, and that is a big goal of yours, can you write down these specific things that you're hoping that that person will add to? your life and then brainstorm ways that you can get some of those things, some ways that are in your control. You can be really creative, go in telling yourself that there are options and your job is to find them. And try as much as you possibly can to quiet the shoulds. So many of the reasons that we think we do not have levers are because of societal shoulds that are not relevant to us and they're not relevant to our goals and they're not relevant to our real lives. This podcast is for the people that want more out of their careers, out of their relationships,

Starting point is 00:22:08 out of their health, out of their entire life. There is real science behind achieving everything that you want and I am here to wade through all of the advice coming from the internet and all of the studies and all of the different experts and help you find the one thing that actually works because I believe in the power of doing these one things over and over and over and those things adding up to the life that you have always, always wanted. Sometimes I think about the past me just ridden with panic so uncomfortable, stuck in that bed. There were times that I was so hopeless. I was like, I don't think that my life is ever going to look different from this. I felt so physically uncomfortable in my body that I was like,

Starting point is 00:22:59 I am not sure that life is worth living if my body and my mind are going to feel this uncomfortable day in and day out. And I just wish that I could tell that person that she was a few small compounding steps away from creating this big, beautiful life where she is traveling the world and She's married to the love of her life and she gets to do her literal dream job every single day and interview these incredible people and write these books and meet all of these people that her work has helped. It was just one little step and then another little step and then another little step. And it was the belief all along that these steps existed and that they would compound in a way that mattered. It was all of that. And it was me taking that agency that got me all of it.

Starting point is 00:23:52 of this. And I just wish that I could tell her, this is where you end up. If you are listening, I want you to know that no matter where you are, you can end up in a place that is so far beyond your wildest, wildest dreams. If this episode resonated with you, send a link to somebody. You can have a conversation with them about each of your levers and then maybe you can make a commitment to one small action that you could each take. You could hold each other accountable. Also, make sure that you're following the show on Apple, on Spotify, or on YouTube. And as always, you can find all of the discount codes that you heard in this episode at Liz Moody.com slash codes.

Starting point is 00:24:32 I love you guys, and I will see you on the next episode of the Liz Moody podcast. Oh, just one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, a psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. Here's something that most people don't know about beef sticks. Nearly every single one on the market, including a lot of the ones that seem healthy,

Starting point is 00:25:00 are made with conventionally raised beef and preserved with something called encapsulated citric acid or ECA. And ECA has been linked in case studies to inflammation symptoms like brain fog, low energy, joint discomfort, and gut issues. Which explains why so many people feel kind of gross after eating them and just assume that beef sticks aren't for them, despite beef sticks being eating. a great source of protein and one of the best savory on-the-go snacks. Paleo Valley beef sticks are completely different and the difference starts at the source.

Starting point is 00:25:28 They use 100% grass-fed and grass-finished beef from small-scale regenerative American farms, not factory farms. Grass-fed beef has an improved omega-6 to omega-3 ratio. It has higher levels of vitamin A and E. It has conjugated linoleic acid and the super antioxidant glutathione. And instead of chemical preservatives, they are naturally, fermented using these same processes like a kimchi or a sauerkraut, which means a long shelf life and gut-friendly, more bioavailable nutrients, no added nitrates or nitrites with zero grams of sugar.

Starting point is 00:26:03 I have loved Paleo Valley for years. They create some of my favorite energy bars and protein powders too, and they just put an incredible amount of thought and care into all of their sourcing. Their superfood bar is actually one of the very few that my personal R.D approved in terms of the sugar, the fat, and the fiber ratio. It's really, really hard to find bars that aren't too high in sugar or that have fiber or don't have other weird ingredients. And these ones pass mustard. The red velvet and then the apple cinnamon are my favorite flavors.

Starting point is 00:26:32 Also the dark chocolate. Honestly, they're all really good. But the red velvets, like I haven't had anything like that before. I really love it. They have a 60-day money-back guarantee. So there is zero risk. And right now, through my link, there's a limited buy one, get-one free deal. So head on over to paleovalvents.

Starting point is 00:26:48 Valley.com slash Liz Moody or use code Liz Moody at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. That is paleo Valley.com slash Liz Moody or code Liz Moody at checkout. The mattress that you sleep on is one of the highest exposures that you have. Like if it's off gassing, you're breathing that in for basically a third of your life. And most conventional mattresses are loaded with synthetic foams, flame retardants, microplastics, and more. Plus, if it's not comfy, you're going to be tossing and turning. You're going to be really hot.

Starting point is 00:27:19 and sleep is the foundation of health. It is so important. Because of all of this, if I were not going to invest in any other part of my house, no other things in my house, I would invest in my mattress. And in fact, I have four years well before I had much money to spend on any of these things because it is such a big needle mover. The birch mattress is incredible. It is made with organic cotton, natural latex, and ethically sourced wool. So it has literally no off-gassing. You can not smell anything right when you unbox it, it has no microplastics, no synthetic foams or flame retardants. And the wool makes it so breathable, which if you've listened to this podcast for more than five minutes, you know that I run very, very hot. Like I am a furnace. Zach has basically accepted that

Starting point is 00:28:06 sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to like a little fire. And the birch mattress has been a game changer for that. It's made me sleep so much better. Like I can see my sleep score going up because I'm not hot all night long. It's also hypoallergenital. which is really worth paying attention to if you find yourself waking up stuffy or congested. Dust mites in a conventional mattress can actually impact your breathing and your sleep quality without you even realizing it. And again, we need to be able to breathe to get good sleep and getting good sleep is the foundation of our health. And then comfort wise, Zach sleeps on his back and then I sleep on my side and my stomach. So we have two completely different sleep styles

Starting point is 00:28:42 and we both wake up feeling really good, no aches and pains. CNN actually named the Birch mattress, the best mattress for side sleepers and Wired named it the best organic mattress period. So there you go. Birch has options for every kind of sleeper in your household. They have three firmness layers. I like the Lux Natural, which is the medium one. And then parents, they even have a Birch Kids natural mattress. Birch ships right to your door.

Starting point is 00:29:07 It sets up in minutes and it comes with 120 night risk-free trial. So if it is not for you, they will pick it up for free. You have nothing to lose here. I want all of you to enjoy a deep, restful night's sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birch living.com slash Liz Moody for 20% off. That is birchliving.com slash Liz Moody and you're going to get 20% off, birch living.com slash Liz Moody.

The Liz Moody Podcast - I Hit Rock Bottom—This Is The One Tool That Changed Everything

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