The Liz Moody Podcast - Life Lessons from Sex And The City: Attachment Theory, Beauty Standards, & More

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

We all love Sex and the City, from its four memorable main characters to its environments and hilariously bad dates. But Sex and the City isn’t just a laugh-out-loud comedy – it also offers real l...ife lessons in self-love, friendships, and relationships. So today, I’m discussing my favorite Sex and the City-inspired life tips with guest Kate Van Horn.  Above all, Sex and the City is a show about friendship. The bonds between Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha drive the show’s appeal – and can teach us a lot about how to be a good friend.  1:40 Appreciating Your Environment 4:10 Relationship Advice From SATC 6:59 Redirecting Your Focus 10:47 Finding Your Real Friends 12:30 Why You Should Make Messy Choices 16:00 Accepting Inconvenience  24:21 Discovering Original Style  For more from Kate, you can find her on Instagram @kate.van.horn or her website www.katevanhorn.com. You can find her book The Inner Tarot: A Modern Approach to Self-Compassion and Empowered Healing Using the Tarot wherever books are sold. Listen to her previous episode, Advice Ep! Anxiety, Morning Routines, Knowing When To Break Up & More with Kate Van Horn. Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now!  To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. Connect with Liz on Instagram @lizmoody or online at www.lizmoody.com. Subscribe to the substack by visiting https://lizmoody.substack.com/welcome.  This episode is sponsored by: Puori: go to puori.com/LIZMOODY and use promo code LIZMOODY for 20% sitewide. Great Lakes Wellness: use code LIZMOODY for 25% off your first purchase at greatlakeswellness.com. Wildgrain: go to Wildgrain.com/LIZMOODY for $30 off the first box - PLUS a free item in every box. The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast.  This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 318. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Liz Moody podcast. Whether or not you watch Sex in the City, we have got some excellent life lessons that anyone can apply to make everyday feel more connected and more magical. It is my personal favorite show, and I was texting my friend Kate recently about how we can make our lives feel more like Sex in the City, which sparked some very, very interesting discussions and ultimately led to this episode. These lessons will change anyone's life, and they're really different than you might expect. They're not the themes that you would immediately think of for the show. Anyway, it's a very chatty, very fun episode with lots of immediately applicable takeaways, and it's really different than what we normally do on here. So please let me know
Starting point is 00:00:44 if you like it. And look, I know sex in the city isn't perfect. It's problematic as everything from that time period was and as everything from this time period probably will be considered someday in the future. That is great. That means that we are learning and growing. But that is also not what this episode is about. Kate was kind enough to join me to dive into these life lessons. You might remember her from our advice episode last year, which was one of our most listened to of the year. I will link that for you in the show notes. You can find more from her, including tons of tips for making your home a serene and amazing space and advice for intuitive living on Instagram at Kate. Van.horn.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Kate, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me. So let's just dive right in. Do you want to say your first life lesson from Texas City? Yeah. So my first life lesson is I believe one of the main characters of the show is New York as a city. So mine is you can't stop romanticizing and appreciating where you live. So whether that's a huge city like New York or something different, I think it's really
Starting point is 00:01:46 important to stay present and keep finding the beauty in your environment. And how do you think that comes through on the show? I think that they are always in a different neighborhood. they don't stick to their bubble. And like, I live in L.A. And I notice myself always in the same neighborhood all the time. But when I am venturing out of that and exploring a different area, I'm happier. I'm enjoying it.
Starting point is 00:02:05 And I'm appreciating my community in a totally different way. Even if your town is smaller, like switching up your walk and not getting in the same routines all the time. Novelty. Novelty. But it is interesting. Somebody said to me recently on a podcast that anything can be novel if we look at it in the right way.
Starting point is 00:02:22 And I feel like that was their approach to New York City. They were always falling in love with it, even if they were walking down the same street, even if they're going to a restaurant they'd been to before, their diner that they always had their brunches in. They were always falling in love with it in a new way. And also continuing to love it despite the challenge of it. Anyone who's lived in New York can tell you, you know how hard it is day to day. So I think the fact that they embraced it and saw it as like what made them powerful,
Starting point is 00:02:47 resilient, amazing New Yorkers was such a key identifier. I love that. There's the I Heart New York episode. That's like one of my favorite episodes. And it aired right after 9-11. Yeah. The show took, it actually had, I think, a little bit of like a different energy after 9-11. I would agree.
Starting point is 00:03:02 I feel like New York had always been the fifth main character on the show. And it really became the fifth main character in an even more deep and profound and connected way after 9-11. I completely agree. Yeah. Okay. I love that one. Do you have any action steps that we could all do to constantly fall in love with the place
Starting point is 00:03:19 that we live? I would say when you're experiencing something great in your. city, you have a great coffee somewhere or brunch. The same way you would thank the barista that served it to you and the same way you would thank your friend, set the intention of saying, like, I'm really grateful for this setting and this space and like kind of let your city know. I like to work a lot with like my home and feng shui. So it's like taking that even outside of the parameters of your space or the walls of your space and seeing your city as another home and talking to it that way and being like really grateful. I also love the idea of
Starting point is 00:03:48 challenging yourself to fall in love with your city over and over. Like to be like, what do I love about this block? What do I love about this park? What do I love about what's unique about my city that you can't get elsewhere? Naming it. And naming it. Naming it and appreciate it. I have a little gratitude moment for it.
Starting point is 00:04:07 A little gratitude. Okay. So my first life lesson is that relational bonds heal relational wounds. You see this with all four of the women that they're really using the relationship they have with each other to heal. heal their attachment issues so that they can go off and have these thriving, incredible relationships with their chosen partners down the way. And I love this. As somebody who's struggled with attachment issues in my own life, I love the idea that I don't necessarily need to go back to the wound
Starting point is 00:04:35 to heal that wound. I can heal that wound with the other relationships in my life. And that it doesn't always have to be so vulnerable with a partner. It could be with a friend. And it can be in a setting that you know is a little bit safer than, say, a stranger of, you know, you're only a a couple dates in. I think that's the beauty is that they offered each other that. And it did, I think, from observation, take a lot of the pressure off of dating. With the exception of maybe Charlotte, the conversation of marriage wasn't always the first thing. It was really about being seen and heard by each other and then having a lot of fun with a lot of these men that they were dating outside of that. Well, and even Charlotte is the one who says in that episode, what if we could be
Starting point is 00:05:13 each other's soulmates? And then the men can just be these like fun characters that come in and out of our lives. And I loved that Charlotte was the one who said that because she is the most traditionally oriented one. She's the one who's most focused on getting married and having that life. And she ends up with all of that. And that's amazing. But even she recognizes that they are each other's soulmates. And that's such a huge theme of the show. I think that's one of the things that so many of us see on the show and we long for are friendships that feel like that. And I feel like that's a big thing that many of us feel like we're missing in our lives. Absolutely. And I remember that episode and I remember like her line sticking with me for years and years. And I think it was
Starting point is 00:05:53 really intentional of the writers to have her be the one to say it. And I think even that kind of, if I remember, there were certain moments in the show where the character development and just the way that I as a viewer loved them more as women really like kind of took that next step. And that was one of them too. Who was your favorite couple on the show? We're not going to do and just like that in this episode. We're going to stick to like the original six seasons. as canon? I really like Miranda and Steve. As messy as it is. I feel like I mean, I guess it was messy in the show. It gets, it gets much messier, like, later on. I just appreciate how he challenged her. And I appreciate how she changed and was willing to accept him for who he was. I think that Charlotte
Starting point is 00:06:37 and Harry are obviously incredible together. Like, they are a wonderful match. And it was like a beautiful story. But there was a lot of ease. And I appreciated the discomfort and the challenges that Miranda faced in dating Steve. I am a Charlotte and Harry person. They're perfect. I love them so much, which actually is I'm going to skip ahead and do one of my life lessons, which is that we focus on the wrong things, I think, a lot in all of our relationships in our lives. And I think this has gotten even worse since sex in the city.
Starting point is 00:07:05 But with Charlotte, when she met Harry, she was like, this isn't even a prospective partner for me. She didn't like the way that he looked. She didn't like the way that he sweat. Too sweaty. Just the way that he like went through the world, she was kind of turned off by. But because she was not on a dating app and she couldn't just swipe away and be like, oh, that's not my type. She got to know him as a person. She realized that in fact, despite in some ways because of all of these things, this was her person.
Starting point is 00:07:34 This was the person that she really loved. And I think the world has gotten shallower and shallower in terms of relationships. And even sometimes in terms of friendships where we make these very snaps. judgments about people. We don't have the attention span. We don't have the comfort and discomfort to dig in, to be challenged, to spend time with people who might not be who we would picture ourselves spending time with. And I think that's to our detriment. It is. And I think in the friendships, it shows up more around like status and connections. Who can they connect me with? What can we do? What opportunities will I receive? How cool will I look? With dating,
Starting point is 00:08:10 I feel like it's usually like, how tall are they? How tall that apps has made, the fact that when apps put height on as like, what is it like, it's like name and then height right below it. It elevated it to such a place of prominence. When your partner's height will impact your life, maybe like if they need to reach something off of a tall shelf, but like so, so little compared to every other way your partner is going to impact your life. Like I've seen so many friends who like won't go on dates with guys because they're, or they won't go on a second day with a guy because they're like, he's really great. He's so sweet, but he's too short. I've seen the exact. same thing. And I think that Harry was a wonderful example. And you know, it's funny is like,
Starting point is 00:08:49 he had his boundaries too. Like, he was like, I want to marry someone who's in the Jewish faith with me. And like, he's stuck to that. And she tried to say, like, maybe not, I can get away with this. And he was like, no, like, this is my non-negotiable. So by no means are we saying don't have a few non-negotiables. Like, it's just recognized that you probably are going to end up with someone who does not fall in those specific parameters. Or if you let yourself, yes. Open to falling in love with some who doesn't fit those specific parameters, especially if those specific parameters are shallower, are more appearance-based, you're opening yourself up to this whole new, beautiful world of incredible matches for yourself. And I think that's something we could all do in our
Starting point is 00:09:30 friendships and in our romantic relationships. Just be a little bit more open to what does this feel like and a little bit more close to what does this look like to other people. And the women, too, like if you see them together walking down the street, they don't make perfect sense, right? It's not cohesive. Like it's a little between their personal style, their professions. Like, they're all different. And I think that's really the best part. And it's why they have interesting conversations. It's why they have so much fun together. Yeah, I think that's one of the best things about their friendship dynamic is they are really different. They bring really different things to the table. It's such a great reminder that if you surround
Starting point is 00:10:06 yourself with people who think just like you, who do just what you do, have the same set of life experiences, your conversations are going to feel a lot more homogenous. Absolutely. My next lesson is that if you're talking about your friends behind their back, they're not really your friends. I'm trying to think of if I can think of a single example, I think they'll sometimes say like Miranda's struggling with this. How can we help her? In my opinion, it always felt constructive. Yeah. It always felt like, okay, you know, I'm thinking of the example of you get four to six friends at a brunch together and then everyone veers off into like groups of two or three. Sometimes I've been in the situation,
Starting point is 00:10:44 where we start gossiping about something that happened at brunch or one particular person or we isolate that person. And I look back and this was, you know, when I was younger, but I'm so glad that they set that example of like when they veer off and weren't in that core group of four, they weren't making fun of each other. They weren't talking shit. It was constructive. I think it is a low hanging conversational fruit that we always regret after we eat. Because if you are hanging out with somebody and you are gossiping or they are gossiping about another person, all you're doing is sending the message to each other that as soon as we're away from each other, there is the potential for us to gossip about each other.
Starting point is 00:11:27 And it makes you not trust, yeah, whoever you're talking to because the second their back is turned, they're probably talking shit about you. Yeah, I think that they did a fantastic job of not making that the core focus in any of their conversations. And occasionally there would be conflict, but it was mostly resolved between the two people that were impacted. Okay, so life lesson there. Don't talk shit about your friends. Don't talk shit about your friends, but also recognize that like if your friends are the type of people that you want to talk shit about,
Starting point is 00:11:53 they're probably not your real friends, I would say. Like, I don't often want, ever want to speak about my core group of friends and my sisterhood like that. So you know, something that I learned that's proximate to this recently, too recently in my life, is that you know the types of jokes you make where you're trying to show how close you are by kind of putting a person down. a little bit, I realized that doesn't, like, feel that good to me when people do that to me. And you can do the same. We're really close jokes, but build the person up instead. Like, oh, we're close enough that I can build you up, not we're close enough that I can give you these little, like, zingers, but to show how much I love you. And I think that's proximate, too. Like,
Starting point is 00:12:35 there are so many opportunities that we can use to just kind of be great friends in little tiny ways, whether it's the jokes that we're making, whether it's how we are behaving as friends when we are not with our friends. And the more that we take those opportunities, the stronger that our friendships are going to feel. Absolutely. I agree. And as someone who is your friend, I feel like you do a great job with that. I'll also say it's like your audience that you have in front of you. If you poke fun of each other and that's kind of your playful nature, there's a little sarcasm, I think it's when you have the audience of their partners, their friends outside of your dynamic, where it gets a little iffy. Okay. My third is that messy choices lead to our dream.
Starting point is 00:13:10 life. And they made plenty of messy choices. They made so many messy choices with the people they dated, with the career paths that they embarked on, with Charlotte. She became a stay-at-home parent, and then she wanted to go back to the gallery world, which I love, by the way, because I do think a lot of us have the perception that if we choose one path, we're choosing it forever. When, in fact, most choices can be altered. You can step back, you can pivot, you can change all these different things. And so I think a lot of us feel like this is what my life should look like. This should be the journey that I'm on. I should be married by this age. I should have my house by this age. I should have my job all sorted by this age. I should have my finances sorted. I should have kids.
Starting point is 00:13:55 But it's the script. So many of us are playing in our head over and over and over and feeling like a failure because we feel like we do not measure up to that script. Question, though, do you think they were more willing to make those messy choices because it wasn't going to be online? Nobody would know they could course correct after making the mess. That's interesting. Part of it. I mean, we're definitely going to talk about the phone thing and the online thing because I think that's a really big thing. But I also think that if more of us could recognize that the big beautiful life lies on the other side of the messy choices, and the messy choices are not hiccups in the journey, but a core part of the journey.
Starting point is 00:14:35 messy choices are what give us the information to create our dream life. It is necessary and it is important and it needs to be gone after and embraced. If more of us could realize that, I think we would be in a much better place. And I think sex in the city exemplifies that. All of the characters on that show do not live by a script of what we are supposed to do at any given time in our lives. and they end up creating a life that feels uniquely them and really enjoyable to them as a result of that. Yes, it's authentic. It's risk and reward. And it's also just a way that they showed themselves, like, genuinely all the time.
Starting point is 00:15:16 So I would challenge anybody listening as the life lesson from this. What is a way that you might be following a script? What's a script that might be playing in your head that you might not be aware of? And how could you bring consciousness to that? and what's a choice you could make that feels a little bit risky, that feels a little bit daring. One of my favorite facts it's in my book is that we regret, by and large, not taking risks so much more than taking risks, even if those risks do not pan out. And I think living a life where we're making more choices and taking more tiny risks all
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Starting point is 00:21:44 And they still showed up. I think that they were incredibly consistent in their friendships. And I know, like, I've had friendships where we might not see each other for like six months, even though we definitely could. Proximity allows for it. So it's like find ways to go run an errand together. Like I've watched them grab their dry cleaning or return Manolo Blonics and it still works. Like it creates space and time. They do get together and catch up on their lives too, but they are also living their
Starting point is 00:22:08 lives together in this really beautiful way. And I just love the idea that the price of community is inconvenience. We want these robust communities that feel like a safety net when we fall, that feel like warm hug, all these things. But we're not willing to hang out with that person. when we might be tired after work or call them and listen to one of their problems for the fifth time that they're talking about that. I'm thinking about, I think it was like the first or second season.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Carrie's getting ready. She has the first date with Big. It has to be the first season, I guess. And she's really excited about this date. And Charlotte calls her and is like, it's an emergency. And Carrie's like, I'm about to go on a date with this guy really like. And Charlotte's like, no, this guy wants to like have go up my butt. It's an emergency.
Starting point is 00:22:54 It's an emergency. Let me reiterate. And Carrie hangs up the phone and gets in a taxi, picks up Charlotte, picks up Miranda, picks up Samantha, and like gathers the girl group, talks to Charlotte in the back of the taxi about the up-the-but guy before heading out on her day. I remember that. They all pile into the cab. I also think a good example of where Carrie didn't do this was when she sent Aiden when Miranda fell.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Yes. That was huge. And the reason why Miranda was so upset is because that was not the norm for their friendship. Otherwise, she would have never called her to help. So she would have never asked Carrie if she really thought that that was what was going to happen. The precedent had not been set in that way. And I think that's really true. And that's one of the things people shave at Carrie about. And they feel that she's a really bad friend. And look, I don't think Carrie is the perfect friend. But I do think that while the internet loves to point out all the examples of the times where she was more selfish and she didn't show up for her friends, I think she also had a lot of times she did show up for her friends. And and I think I think. if a lot of us took a long, hard look in the mirror, we would find that we might be being more selfish friends than we maybe think of ourselves.
Starting point is 00:24:03 And any of them really were. You know, I would argue. It is. I do think that sometimes we expect our friends to show up for us in a way that if we reflected it back, we are not necessarily showing up for our friends. And that is not always true, but it's worth thinking about. It is. It's worth thinking about and just being the friend that you want to have, period,
Starting point is 00:24:23 just knowing that that exchange has to exist. And I do think it's not just about the finding ways to, like, co-live and co-create your lives together because I think they did a great job of that. But another example where Carrie did it beautifully was when she showed up for Miranda when the ball dropped. That was a stunning scene. I thought you're going to say that her mom's funeral. Oh, that was amazing.
Starting point is 00:24:43 That's one of my favorite episodes of when Miranda's mom dies and she goes back to Philadelphia and she keeps insisting that, like, I'm going to cry when I tell you. It's like, I love that. that she keeps insisting like she doesn't need like anybody, blah, blah, and Carrie shows up. And she walks with her at the funeral place. And then also Steve and Aden are in the pews at the church. And it just like it's about the power of community. It is.
Starting point is 00:25:12 It is. So it's about being there for the up-the-bought conversations, but equally the really hard and important moments. And I think another thing that's interesting about the show is that family wasn't highlighted much. Almost at all. Almost at all. And I know that was intentional. But it did allow for us to see where friendship can actually become family. And I think that they are.
Starting point is 00:25:30 And I know that like, you know, the very last episode when Big kind of essentially asks for their blessing as her family. I thought that was like a beautiful nod to what had been green. And they say, go get our girl. Go get our girl. Okay. My last one is a function of the time period. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:46 But I also, it's just such a big one that I think it's worth discussing, which is that none of them are on social media. They're barely on the internet. There's like Carrie's whole foray into trying to send emails for a few episodes that's really painful to watch. Carrie kind of acts like she doesn't know how to use a phone, period. It's like a foreign object to her. No, it's like a foreign object to her.
Starting point is 00:26:07 And when she like ducks and hides when Aiden sends her an email, like, Jesus Christ. It was a little ridiculous. Jesus Christ, Carrie. She's a writer. She's like, okay, she's smart girl. Like, come on. But there's no phones. There's no social media.
Starting point is 00:26:18 There's like very occasionally an old flip phone. or something like that. And the results of that are immense. It's so many different things. One, there is a spaciousness to their lives that I crave in my life. And sometimes I ask myself, why does my life not feel as spacious as I want it to be? And I think there's a lot of reasons. I think a lot of us are really burnt out. The economy doesn't feel like it's working for a lot of us. The political system doesn't feel like it's working for a lot of us. And also, because of or in tangent with a lot of those things, we spend so much time numbing out on our phones. Instead of what they are not doing in the time that they're not numbing out on their phone, what they're doing instead is they're
Starting point is 00:27:01 connecting with their city, with their people, they're reading interesting articles, they're doing interesting things. And it's just, it feels like so much more of a robust life. That's something that I want to try to mimic from the show. It's just to not get rid of my phone. I'm not going to become like a lettite and live in the woods or whatever. But to minimize its place of importance in my life, I hate the feeling that if I leave my house and I forget my phone, I'm like, oh my gosh, what's going to happen? It feels like an emergency. I hate that. I shouldn't feel so tethered to it. Tethered to it. So I'm going to experiment with going for walks without it, going out with a friend without it, definitely having it not be present when I'm spending time with my friends. There's
Starting point is 00:27:44 really interesting science that shows that, and we have our phones out right now for notes, for this episode. But if you have your phone out on the table, even if it's face down, part of your attention is always on your phone. So if you want to have those really connected conversations with your friends, putting your phone completely away, ideally in airplane mode, basically make your phone take up the smallest amount of your attention possible. And that's where you get to have these really satisfying interactions. Absolutely. And I think too, they waited to have conversations in person too or phone calls. One thing that's hard on my energy and just day to day with my phone is group texts. I love them. I love that we can all gather together there and kind of
Starting point is 00:28:23 keep up to date. But you look at your phone sometimes and there's like a ton of messages and it's very daunting. And it's all shallow interaction. It's just stuff. It's memes. It's whatever. And it's just not really quality conversation. And I think they did a great job of when we're here, we're fully here, even if it's just for one breakfast a week. And I think we can bring some of that into our phones. Like how can we bring some vulnerability, bring some deeper conversations into our phone connections that we have and how can we be as present as possible with people when we're with them in real life? Because that's the meat of it. That's what we're here for. And the fact that we're kind of half there while we're checking on our Instagram, checking our emails, it's like we're
Starting point is 00:29:00 missing it. This is life and we are missing it. We are. And I'd also say that the things that they did were because they were genuinely drawn to them. They were excited by that gallery opening or this or that. It wasn't because Instagram or TikTok had been telling you it's the new thing to do. So, like, they were definitely leading their lives based on kind of intuitively what felt interesting to them. Oh, that is so true. Like, how can we get back our own sense of taste? How can we not wear clothes because somebody on social media told us that this is what an outfit
Starting point is 00:29:32 should look like? How can we not go eat at a restaurant because this is the new viral food? How can we get back the sense of, well, I like this. Their outfits, oh, that was one of yours, wasn't it? Yeah, this is my last one. Okay. Do your last one. I led you in. Segway.
Starting point is 00:29:45 They actually had personal style, and they also had original outfits, but also original faces, which we'll get into in a second. But, you know, I look at, especially I like to follow fashion content, but I will say we're all wearing the same thing all the time. And I like it too. And I'm not saying I'm immune to it. Like, I definitely buy the things that are trending as well. But I'm not sure how much of it is true personal style at this point.
Starting point is 00:30:07 And I do think, although it was a little exaggerated for these four women, each of them had their own unique like archetype essentially that they dressed as. And it became a part of yes, their character, but also it was an example of their personality. And I think that like that is another example of where social media wasn't the constant influence. Yeah. They got to be themselves in their clothes. Well, and I don't think it's intentional. We like what we're more exposed to. There's so much science that shows this. So the more you're exposed to something, the more you're going to like it. So the more you see a type of style on social media, the more that you're going to like it, which is why we gravitate towards trends, even when we're not trying to be trendy, just because at that time,
Starting point is 00:30:45 that is what we're being the most exposed to. So I think it's not something that we're doing intentionally, but it's happening anyway. It is. And it's funny because the thing that we feel like is really pulling us and isolating us as a community and pulling us away, numbing us, the social media is also what we believe is going to reconnect us. So even seeing, oh, everyone's wearing this. Like, I want to be a part of that too. That inherent need to be a part of a community is well-intentioned. But it's just, And it's primal. It's a primal thing. That is a huge, just part of us being human.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Yeah. So if you're sitting here thinking, oh, I always follow the trends. It's not us that's flawed. It's actually the way that we're just experiencing this. And I think a fun way to action this is a tip is just to be like, if nobody were to look at my outfit, what would I be wearing? If nobody were to look at my hair and makeup, what would I be wearing? Do I love anything that I haven't been allowing myself to bring into my life, whether it's home to core or something that you would do? in terms of personal style, can I bring that into my life? Can I kind of let go of any idea of
Starting point is 00:31:45 judgment or what's cool or what's popular and ask myself, how do I want to portray myself? How do I want to feel in my clothes and my environment and bring that into your world? Or even what's flattering. Yeah, I think that I had a stylist that I interviewed on the show and she unfortunately died of cancer. Charlie Goss, we miss her desperately. But she used to say fuck flattering. And I love that because She's just like flattering to what? Some idea that somebody said what a body should look like? Who decided what a body should look like? Who decided that this is what we're going for?
Starting point is 00:32:17 Totally. And I think there were a lot of outfits in my opinion that maybe weren't perfectly flattering all the time. And to my other point, you know, original faces. What I mean by that is with plastic surgery. And filler and Botox. And filler and Botox, yes. And veneers. That's like a crazy.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Extensions everything. It is like within the last 10 years, no. that we're seeing online or in TV or movies has their original teeth anymore, which just, it makes faces just look the same. Yeah. Same shape, same size of teeth, all of that. So their faces were really theirs, more natural. And again, I just think that was the beauty of them as four women is they were each so uniquely
Starting point is 00:32:56 their own. And we don't see a ton of that anymore. And the things that a plastic surgeon might be like, that's a flaw, those are part of what made these women so beautiful. And I think that's so important to remember when we're not. we're all trying to line up and show people the filtered versions of our faces and say, oh, can I look a little bit more like this? Or we're trying to show like the latest trend in beauty and look like that.
Starting point is 00:33:18 It's like the things that make our faces unique are what make our faces so beautiful. That's what makes us memorable. I agree. I think what we're taking away from this conversation is there was a lot of freedom to be themselves. And there was a lot of freedom in their day, a lot of freedom in their lives. Which there's a lot of privilege there too. There is. There's a lot of privilege there.
Starting point is 00:33:36 There's a ton. And. And, but I also think, like, we could equally free ourselves a little bit of some of these, like, expectations and, and the ideas of what it all needs to look like and let the messiness come in and see where it leads us. And also start to recognize that your relationships and your connections really are the pillar and are your greatest support system. So it's like, without them, what fun are we really having if we can't do it together and, like, go hang out and experience these things. I love it. I love it. Thanks, sex in the city. Yeah. I love it. I'll watch you again. I watched it probably like 20 times. Oh, for sure. I think, oh my God, so many times. When did you first start watching? In college.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Yeah. We would come home from being like out dancing and it would be 2 a.m. And we would put on the DVDs. We had like the velvet pink box set. The box set. And we would watch over and over and over. And I've just like, I've watched it through every single phase in my life. And yeah, it's magical.
Starting point is 00:34:29 And I always will. And I always will. That is unfortunately all for today. Make sure that you're following the Liz Moody podcast and Apple Podcasts on Spotify or on YouTube because following the podcast means that the episodes will show up right in your feed and you will never have to miss out on one. You'll never have to miss finding tips and tricks that will change your life. Also, we are able to bring you this show completely free because of the brands that you heard in this episode. You can save money on amazing products while supporting the show
Starting point is 00:34:56 by using the discount codes that we share. There's a full list of all of our active codes at lizmoody.com slash codes. You can head over to lizmoody.substack.com to sign up for our newsletter, the takeaway. where you'll get key action steps for each episode, downloadable transcripts, and tons of bonus content. Also, come hang out on Instagram. I'm at Liz Moody. You'll get tons of behind-the-scenes content of my everyday life and daily reminders of little science-backed ways that you can live your best life. Okay, I love you and I will see you on the next episode of the Liz Moody podcast. Oh, just one more thing. legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, a psychotherapist, or any other
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