The Liz Moody Podcast - New Study: Why You Can’t Get Healthy Habits To Stick (+ How To Fix It)

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

Are you finding it difficult to stick to new habits, no matter how badly you want to? New research from Health Psychology on habit forming provides new answers as to why this might be the case. From this research, there are four main reasons why people fail to stick to the habits they want to build. I’m going over all four, and providing tips and tricks to help you avoid the common pitfalls. When we try to build habits, how badly we want to have new habits has very little to do with whether we tend to pick up new habits successfully. This is because of something called the Intention-Behavior Gap, and understanding exactly why we have this gap can help us fix it.  Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now!  Connect with Liz on Instagram @lizmoody or online at www.lizmoody.com. Subscribe to the substack by visiting https://lizmoody.substack.com/welcome. To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. Check out the previous episodes of The Liz Moody Podcast discussed today: The Secret To Making Soul-Satisfying Friends As An Adult (Avoid the Mistake Everyone Makes!) The Secret to Getting in Shape, Sleeping Better, Saving Money, and Being More Confident & Productive (Yes, Really!) with Katie Milkman  This episode is sponsored by: Puori: Go to puori.com/LIZMOODY and use promo code LIZMOODY for up to 20% sitewide.  ZocDoc: Go to ZocDoc.com/LizMoody and download the Zocdoc app for FREE and book a top-rated doctor today.  Pique: Go to piquelife.com/LIZMOODY for up to 20% off plus a special gift. The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast.  This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 334. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Liz Moody podcast. Today, we're going to talk about something that I know a lot of us struggle with. We talk all the time about habits to live our best lives on this podcast, things to eat, the best workouts to do, how to incorporate things like awe and breathwork to decrease our stress and increase our happiness. And we listen to the episodes or I do the interviews and we're like, yes, that sounds amazing. I'm going to start that immediately.

And then crickets. We may try things once or even a few times, but within weeks or months, we are back to our same old life. It is not that you are lazy. It is not that you are foundationally worse than everybody else or broken in some way. New research came out that's all about exactly why we fail to stick to the new habits that we want to create. So today we are going to dive into that research. And I'm going to share some easy science-backed ways that you can overcome the problem. that this study identified, so you can implement the habits that you want in your life. Also, I want to be clear.

By no means do I think that you should do everything that we talk about on the podcast. I certainly do not. First of all, podcasts can just be motivating. They can help you identify as a healthy person, a productive person, a happy person, and science shows that taking on that identity will shape your choices, whether you like it or So just listening, even if you think that you're doing nothing, we'll change your life and also hopefully just like entertain you and make you feel not alone in the world. And I view the podcast as a toolbox.

Just by listening, your brain knows that all of these tools exist so you can pull them out if and when you need them. But I just want to start with by no means is this episode like you should be doing all of these habits right now. It's about how you can create the habits that you want to create. that serve your unique why in this unique moment in time. Okay, so with that out of the way, let's dive into this new research. This was just published in Health Psychology, which is a top peer-reviewed journal,

and its goal was to find out why strong intendors fail to act. Essentially why even if we want to take certain health-benefiting actions or do health-protective behaviors, we don't actually do it. The science points to something called an intention behavior gap. one of the biggest reasons why we fail to build the habits that we genuinely want to create. There are a number of studies that show even if we really want to change our behavior, the vast, vast, vast majority of the time we do not change our behavior. And researchers wanted to know why. And they found out that there were four key reasons. So let's get right into them.

Reason one, you do not see people like you doing the behavior that you want to have. It turns out that we are hugely influenced by what we see other people doing and what we think the people that we care about would approve of. If you are trying to quit drinking and everyone else in your circle drinks or you get the vibe that they think that people who don't drink are losers, it is so much harder to stick with it. We are social creatures. We are primally wired to want to belong because historically we would die if we did not.

Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, we want to feel like our habits connect us, not isolate us. There are two distinct types of social norms that the researchers in the study identified. There are descriptive norms and injunctive norms. Descriptive norms are what you see people around you doing. If everyone in your friend group spends a ton of money following the latest trends or taking a certain type of vacation, your brain clocks that as what people like me do. Injunctive norms, on the other hand, are what you think people approve of. So even if you want to go and set some boundaries at work, but you think people will think that you're lazy, or if you want to start eating healthier or switching out some beauty products,

but you're worried that your friends or your partner will think that you're making a whole fuss out of nothing, those are injunctive norms. You don't really need to know the types. The key takeaway here is that we are wired to conform to these norms, whether or not they are even expressed to us, and that wiring is so, so powerful. So what can you do about it? Step one. Make the invisible visible. Start paying attention to what behaviors you are being nudged toward by the people around you. Are your friends always making sarcastic comments about people who go to therapy? Are your coworkers constantly bragging about how little they sleep,

how late they stay up working, answering all these emails? Pay attention to the subtle messages that you are getting from your community. Next, if you can, switch up parts of your community to support your goals or make sure that your goals are community-based, it will help. Could you join a meditation club or a walking group? I know that making new friends is hard, but going in with the goal of having them reinforce these habits can even be helpful. On the episode with Anna Goldfarb, which is all about making friends as an adult, I can link it

in the show notes. It's one of my favorites. one of the key takeaways was that friendships need an about, which is just something that you have in common so that you can easily spend the 200 hours together that are required to form a deep friendship. Looking for people who have the habits that you want to have gives you an about. So while finding them might be harder, it'll actually make the friendship and building that friendship and building those deep connections easier down the road. And these people do not need to be in person. Social proof can come from anywhere. So flood your life with examples, like online, in books,

in podcasts of people who embody the habits that you are trying to create. If you want to drink less, follow people who have chosen that lifestyle. If you want to eat more veggies, surround yourself with people who make it feel normal and even aspirational, even cool. The goal is to make your desired behavior feel like default behavior. Because, Once it feels like the norm, it's so much easier to make it your norm. Okay, reason number two from the study of why we cannot stick to habits. We haven't done something enough yet. In all of the studies included in this latest publication, past behavior predicted future

behavior. For instance, there was one study of gym goers and people who had worked out more often in the past were way more likely to go, even if others had just as strong of an intention to exercise. This is because our brains are always trying to be efficient. If something is new, your brain has to work harder to do it. But if it's familiar, if you've done it a bunch of times before, it becomes easier and smoother and more automatic. Researchers call this habit strength, and it's essentially a measure of how automatic

a behavior has become for you. The stronger your habit, the less you need to rely on motivation or willpower to do it. But here's the hopeful part. The more that you repeat a behavior in the same thing. context, the more that your brain wires it in. You're literally carving a groove in your neural pathways every single time that you do that behavior, and eventually it will become the path of least resistance. So how can we overcome this hurdle that the study identified? One, reduce friction. This is a key, key, key part of habit formation. Make the habits that you want

easier and the habits that you do not want harder. If something takes a lot of effort, your brain is going to resist. So ask yourself, how can I make this as easy and automatic as possible? Don't sign up for a gym far from your house. I just yelled at my sister for doing this. Do a home workout in your pajamas. By the way, to the point of our earlier conversation, having people that you are doing stuff with is one way of reducing friction. Two, create consistency with cues. Habits form faster when you pair the behavior with the same cue each time. I had a doctor on the pod once, who'd always do kettle ball swings while as coffee brewed. Maybe if you're trying to community, you send voice notes to friends whenever you're on a walk. Maybe anytime that you're

answering emails, you do it on a walking pad to get your steps in. Take a habit that you already have and link it to one that you want to have. I very rarely get genuinely excited about skincare, but this is one of the most innovative products that I have come across in years, and I'm so obsessed with it. I've been telling all of my friends to get it, so now I need to tell you guys. Here's some science first. Your skin isn't just getting older. It's being actively broken down by something called senescent cells. These are cells that have stopped functioning but refuse to die.

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percent off, exclusions apply. Three, track reps, not outcomes. This is big. Okay, so we often want to see results immediately. I'm very guilty of this, whether it is some sort of weight loss journey or a health journey or having less anxiety or better sleep. But your brain does not care about results at first. It cares about reps.

So celebrate every single time that you show up. Whether you meditated for 20 minutes or two minutes, your brain got a in, and that matters. That is how the habit forms. Just showing up is creating that groove in your brain that's going to make the habit easier than the next time. And finally, accept that shit is just going to be hard at first while you're making those new neural connections. I find that when I know and prepare for that friction, I deal with it so much better and I am so much less likely to quit. And by prepare, I mean, I know ahead of time exactly my goal when I'm fitting it in and how I am doing it. So I'm meditating for five minutes at 2 p.m. after I eat my lunch on my couch. I'm using the

floating music on Insight timer. I am not waiting to see if I feel like meditating. I'm letting my actions lead my emotions and I'm giving that time to rewire my brain to create the habits that I want to have. Also, please notice, I made the goal of five minutes. it's there. Make your bar lower so you can stick to it. If you make it too high and you do not stick to it, you do not get any new neural connections. Start small. Make a stream that can widen into a river over time versus a few puddles here and there that never connect and go anywhere. The third reason that we do not stick to habits, even when we intend to stick to these new healthy behaviors is around perceived control. Across three of the four studies that researchers were

looking into, perceived behavioral control and confidence in one's ability, which they called capacity or autonomy in the research, were major predictors of action. For example, people in the study who believed they could say no to cigarettes were much more likely not to start smoking versus the people who did not believe they had that power. Even if you want to build a new habit, if a part of you does not actually believe that you can, whether that's because of time or energy or ability or your circumstances, it is going to hold you back. This is yet another reason why our community is so important because they teach us consciously and subconsciously what is possible for our lives. So all of that advice that we already talked about earlier applies for

this hurdle too. And then the other way that we can overcome this hurdle is to build what's called self-efficacy, which comes up all of the time on this podcast. Self-efficacy is your belief in your control over your behavior in order to meet your goals. And many of us just don't have that belief in ourselves. Have you ever heard that niggling little voice in your head that says, I can't wake up to work out. I'm not a morning person. Or there's no way I'm going to stick to this. I never stick to anything. That voice is trying to protect you. It is pretending that. that it has your back. But research shows that high self-efficacy is one of these strongest predictors of whether people follow through on new habits. And that little voice, that voice

is sabotaging your sense of self-efficacy. The good news is that self-efficacy is very much a skill. It is not something that you're born with, so you can build it. My all-time favorite way to build self-efficacy is to master tiny wins. The psychologist who literally coined the term self-efficacy found that the most effective way to believe in your abilities is to succeed at something, even something small. Remember when I said to meditate for five minutes? Set the bar where you need to set it to actually do the thing. Your brain will log that as a proof point of your self-efficacy. On the flip side, starting to big makes your brain log your failures as proof points, and then you chip away at the self-efficacy and you make future habits harder for yourself. The smallest version count,

I cannot say this enough. One veggie added to one meal, one deep breath before a stressful meeting. They count five squats right now. Just get up and do five squats. That counts. That is training your brain to trust you. Every time I finish a meeting, I'm going to do five squats so quick, so easy, and training your brain to trust you, building your sense of self-efficacy. The next way to build self-afficacy is a concept psychologist called coping ahead. When that little voice is like, you're going to go to that party and no one is going to want to talk to you, that is robbing you of your self-efficacy. But if you cope ahead, you say, okay, so let's say that happens. I will come prepared with this conversation starter, like a specific conversation starter. And I will stand by the buffet

pretending to put food on my plate until somebody else is nearby. And then I will say that conversation starter to them. Get specific. Instead of like, I'll probably be tired and I'll snooze in the morning, okay, let's cope ahead. Can you move the phone to the bathroom to plug it in so you cannot snooze? Can you go to bed earlier? Can you make your breakfast ahead of time so you don't need to use that valuable time to make it in the morning? Coping ahead helps you overcome barriers to new habits because you've already made a plan for how to deal with these obstacles. So right now, think of one goal that you want to set and then lower the bar on it. Then think of some obstacles that might get in your way and brainstorm right now,

how you will deal with those obstacles and get as specific as you possibly can. Just real quick. You can pause the podcast. It's okay. You can come back. We will be here. Okay. If you paused, welcome back.

I feel like most of you didn't pause. That's okay. I love you. I love you anyway. I trust that you're going to do this stuff. The last barrier to forming new habits is how they feel. Basically, our attitude toward the behavior. If something feels unpleasant or boring or frustrating, we are far less likely to do it,

even if we know it's good for us. I have two tips here. One is to really notice any upsides of your new behavior. For instance, when I mostly stop drinking, I call myself an intentional drinker, which I feel like most of you know by now, but it just means that I drink very, very rarely and intentionally, so maybe like four times a year. But when I was first thinking about quitting drinking, I was so worried about everything that I was giving up. I genuinely could not process. It sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I genuinely could not process what my social

life would look like if I would lose friends, if I would never have fun again. And then I I actively changed my focus to be on everything that I was gaining. The energy, the real connection and conversation that I wasn't slurring my words for, the sleep quality, all of that money that I got back. When I viewed my new habit through the lens of not what it was taking from my life, but how much it was adding, it completely changed how easy it was for me to stick to it. So try to notice how calm you feel after you meditate, how amazing it feels to take amazing poops now that you're eating a ton of fiber, how well you sleep when you stay off your phone

in the evening. Be a detective for upsides and really try to catalog and connect them to your new habit to make it more appealing for yourself. And if there aren't any noticeable upsides or there aren't as many as you'd like, or the upsides are like in the distant future, like we're doing longevity stuff or whatever. That's when you can do something called temptation bundling. This is from research from Dr. Katie Milkman. She is a former podcast guest. She is a Wharton professor. And it is the absolute best way that I have found to make habits that aren't fun really desirable. Basically, you take the behavior that you want and you bundle it with one of your favorite activities. And here's the key. You only get to do that activity while you do

the hard behavior. So you only get to scroll TikTok on the treadmill. You only get to watch real housewives while folding laundry. You only get a chocolate chip cookie from that bakery that you love while you do your life admin day. It makes the unfun fun, which helps overcome this habit obstacle. Okay. So let's do a quick recap. This whole episode was based on the new research that was published in health psychology that looked at why people who want to change their behavior often still don't, which we call the intention behavior gap. The researchers found four main reasons. One, you don't see people like you doing it, aka social norms. Two, you haven't done it enough for it to feel automatic, aka habit strength. Three, you do not fully believe that you can do it,

aka low self-efficacy. And four, it just doesn't feel good to do, aka having a negative attitude toward the behavior. The good news is now that we have figured out why we have this gap in our behavior, we can fix it. So to recap all of our little tips for fixing it here, you can surround yourself with people online or offline who reflect the habits that you want. You can make the habit as easy as possible and as consistent as possible, and you can link it to a cue. You can link it to something that you are already doing. You can celebrate reps, not outcomes, and know that with each and every rep, you are building those neural pathways, which will make the habits that you want easier in the future. You can build self-efficacy with tiny winds and by coping ahead for obstacles,

and then you can either focus on the upsides of the habit, or you can temptation, bundle it with something fun if those upsides are like a little bit harder to find. So we love homework assignments on this podcast. We're rebranding homework assignments here. We're reclaiming them. My homework assignment to you is to pick one habit that you really wish you had. It could be something that you are quitting, like smoking, or it could be something that you're adding in, like a regular workout routine, and then go through all of this like a checklist and implement as many things as you can. Is your community helping or hurting? Can you make the habit easier or make it harder if you don't want that habit?

Can you celebrate the reps, the times that you are working towards that habit versus the end goal? Can you build self-efficacy and plan for any obstacles? And can you make sure that the habit actually feels fun for you, either by bundling it with something fun or just noticing the inherent funness, the fun qualities in the thing? I believe in you. I love these types of studies because they give us such valuable information to make the changes that we want to make to truly change our lives. I cannot wait to hear from you about what habit you make or break.

So please let me know. that is all for today's episode. If you could do me a really quick favor and you could copy a link to the episode and you could send it to one person in your life, I would so appreciate it. Every single one of us has healthy habits that we want to stick to or to break. And sharing the podcast is the most helpful way to make sure that we can keep producing high quality content for you. Also, can you do a quick favor and check if you were following the podcast?

Following means the episodes will show up right in your feed every Monday and Wednesday. and it also signals to the Apple and Spotify and YouTube algorithms that people like the podcast, so it shows it to more people. We are able to bring you this show completely for free thanks to the amazing brands that we partner with. If you are looking for science-back products to elevate your life, you can find all of our current discount codes at lizmoody.com slash codes. And do not forget to sign up for our newsletter, the takeaway at lizmoody.

Substack.com. We covered raw milk last week. We got into like, what does a real sign say about this stuff? We're getting into NAD next week. We're getting into nicotine later. The nicotine stuff is crazy. It honestly surprised me a ton. There is such good actionable content there that you will not see anywhere else.

That is on Liz Moody. com. Lastly, come hang out with me on Instagram. I'm at Liz Moody. I share tons of additional content and fun, actionable tips on how to apply what we are learning on the podcast to everyday life. I'll talk about the habits that I'm trying to create and that I'm trying to break

and how I'm using all the stuff that we talked about today. That's at Liz Moody on Instagram. Okay, I love you. And I will see you on the next episode of the Liz Moody podcast. Oh, just one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, a psychotherapist,

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