The Liz Moody Podcast - Serena Wolf, Ali Maffucci, and Liz Moody — How To Get Your Partner To Be Healthier, The BEST Diet For Health & Happiness, And Which Wellness Practices ACTUALLY Work

Episode Date: April 17, 2019

Welcome to a very special episode of the Healthier Together podcast—the Healthier Together book launch LIVE panel. As many of you lovely humans know, I just released my cookbook, also called Healthier Together (and it’s already a number one best seller, thanks to all of your amazing support!). This episode was recorded live at the Healthier Together book launch event, and I think you might like it even more than a traditional episode because you get two amazing guests, and way more of my personal perspective on health, food, and life. My guests are two of my dear friends in the food world: Serena Wolf and Ali Maffucci. You might remember Ali from Episode 8 of the podcast, where she shares her mom’s crazy kidnapping story and how it changed her outlook on life (if you haven’t listened yet, definitely do so!). Ali’s a phenomenal businesswoman—she’s a best-selling author of three cookbooks, the woman behind the Inspiralized brand, and the Inspiralizer, and an amazing mom to her cute son, Luca, on top of all that. I love Ali’s warmth and wisdom, and she has such an amazing positive perspective on food and life that I’m excited to share with you all. Serena is the woman behind the best-selling Dude Diet cookbook, and the amazing site, domesticate-me.com. We’ve bonded over our shared anxiety, but also because she’s truly one of the funniest people I know. Honestly, she kind of bugged me on the panel because she kept saying exactly what I was going to say before I said it—that’s how aligned our life perspectives are. In this episode, we get into healthy eating, chatting about what’s actually the healthiest diet, the food advice that’s total BS, the one food I use to conquer my sweet tooth, and more. We also get into other wellness practices (CBD, how to motivate yourself to workout, adaptogens, and more). Then we get into the “together” element of the book, talking about how to make friends as an adult, how to get your partner to eat healthy when they REALLY don’t want to, how to bond and connect with your partner in the kitchen and out of it, and more. If you’re into healthy eating, healthy living, optimizing relationships, or just living your best life in a way that isn’t painful, annoying, or restrictive, you’re gonna love this episode! PS: You can get your copy of Healthier Together right here or at lizmoody.com/cookbook. Please keep sending me your creations on Instagram—they make me so happy! Enjoy! Healthier Together cover art by Zack. Healthier Together music by Alex Ruimy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Healthier Together podcast. I'm Liz Moody. I'm your host, and my book just came out. It's so exciting. My little baby book, also called Healthier Together, is out in the world. And all of you guys have been sending me your pictures on Instagram of getting the book and making things from the book and you're loving it. And it makes me so happy.

And everybody's making the best healthy cookies, which also makes me so happy. And I'm just, I don't know, you work so hard on something for so long. and you don't know if people are going to like it. You don't know what the response is. I worked on this thing for two years. And now it's out in the world. And the fact that you guys are loving it so much is just, I don't know. I'm crying like every day these days.

I really, I haven't had a kid yet. And I don't want to offend anybody who has had a kid. But I really do feel like a new mom in a teeny. Like I'm sure I'm getting more sleep. And you guys are working much, much harder than me. But I'm so emotional. I'm crying all the time. I'm just like, I can't believe what an incredible.

incredible life event it is. And I'm so grateful for all of you guys who are, I don't know, supporting me and being part of it and just being part of the healthier together fam. I just, I love all of you. And I'm filled with so much gratitude for having you guys all in my life. And it's just so wonderful, which brings me to my episode today. It's a little bit of a different episode. So this is the healthier together launch event, which was at the Deepak Chopra space in the ABC home store, which is in New York City. And if you ever get the chance to go there when you come to New York City, I highly recommend it. It is filled with the most beautiful furniture, home decor, stuff that you've ever seen in your life. And their event space was stunning. It was so,

so, so beautiful. And they decorated it beautifully. We were like, there's like these carpets everywhere and little tiny flowers and little tiny vases. And we ate delicious food from Siette and we were drinking yummy organic wines from Thrived Market. and drinking cocktails from Miami Cactail Company. And it was just this like very fun party vibe. So we had a panel at that event where I had two of my most favorite people in the food world join me on stage. And it was such, such a good conversation.

So of course I had to share it with you guys too. It's a little different than a normal episode, like I said. But I actually think you guys might like it. I don't know, maybe maybe even more. It's like more bang for your butt because you get two people's views on the world and my own. There's a lot more of me in this episode too. because it was my panel.

So I'm talking a lot more than I would in a normal podcast. So you guys can get to know me a little bit more and then we can be even better friends. And it will be awesome. So really quick about my two guests. The first one is Ali Mafuchi. You guys might remember Ali from her other episode of the Healthyer Together podcast where she talked about her mom being kidnapped and just like her amazed, how this completely changed her outlook on life and gave her this sense of gratitude and

peace and like not needing to find success. rush or hustle, but she could just, like, be satisfied with who she is. She's an amazing person. She's this incredibly successful business lady. She invented the Inspiralizer, which is the best spiralizer that exists. She's written three cookbooks. Inspiralized and Beyond is the most recent one, and I love it. I think that one's my favorite, but I won't play favorites because I love Allie so much. And she also founded the whole Inspirized brand. So you can find her on Instagram at Inspiralized. you can find her on the interwebs and spiralize.com. But she is amazing and definitely check out her episode of the Healthier Together

podcast if you guys haven't yet because it is a dozy of an episode. And then my other panelist is Serena Wealth, who is the funniest person that I have ever met in real life. Honestly, she is so funny. And then she also is, she laughs a lot. Like she told me this when I was talking to her one. She's like, not only my funny, but like I'm a quick laugh. so other people feel funny around me.

And I was like, eh, like I feel funny around you, but I thought that it was just me being funny. So it was a good thing and a bad thing, I would say. But she went to culinary school in Paris, so she's very fancy. And then she has a blog called Domesticate Me, where she does a lot of yummy food stuff. And then she also has an incredible cookbook called the Dude Diet, which we talk a little bit about in the episode, but the whole concept of the dude diet was invented when she was trying to get her partner who she calls her roommate. They're married now. It's her husband. But she calls

him her roommate and she's trying to get him to eat a little bit healthier. And so she invented the dude diet as a way of doing that. So I love this panel conversation. We just chit chat like girls, you know, I just, I think it, we have such similar outlooks on life and on food and on wellness, but also a little bit different. Like Ali has somehow managed to fit working out into her life every day despite having one baby and another baby on the way. And so I tried to have her give me her tips and tricks so that I cannot sit on my couch and just stare at my yoga mat and be like, Liz, go work out, go work out and like not do it. I also share the one food that I used to conquer my sweet tooth, which I think is kind of genius. If I do say so myself, I would love to hear what you

think. And if you try it, we talk a lot about social media and how to use social media in healthy ways. and then we kind of get into the healthier together part of the conversation. Like, what is a healthy diet? What's not a healthy diet? What do people get wrong about eating healthy? What do you do? This is the together part. What do you do when your partner doesn't want to eat healthy and you want them to eat healthy?

Or not even with eating. Like I tell a story about when I was trying to get Zach to meditate, which spoiler alert did not go very well. But I think it's interesting when you're like, oh, I'm like on this amazing life path and journey and you want to share that with your partner. and they don't necessarily want to do what you want them to do. So we talk a lot about that and how to navigate that situation in this panel. We also talk about how to bond with your partner a little bit more,

both inside and outside of the kitchen, how to have good conversation with your partner. I share a little trick that I learned from my therapist that I think is like totally genius. I don't know. It's just a really fun episode. So I hope you guys love it. And if you have picked up the book yet, thank you so much. I love you.

Keep sharing your remakes with me on. Instagram at Liz Moody. I'm loving, loving, loving, loving seeing them. And yeah, enjoy the show. How beautiful is this space, you guys? I've been really stressed all day and I feel like I walked in and there was like $5,000 couches and I was like, oh, I feel so good. Really lovely. It also smells really good in here. I don't know if anyone's noticed that. I know. I just want to like stay and see if they don't notice that I've moved in here. Well, the book, healthier together, which is what we're all here to celebrate. It's about food and it's about community. So I thought that would be like a fun angle for our chat tonight. So let's start with food. What does eating healthy mean to you guys? Casual. I think it's such a complicated term these days. Like for me, eating healthily is really and truly all about balance.

And I think the crazy thing about saying that is that everybody has a different definition of balance. So for me, I eat really healthily during the week. Most days, I go to a pizza place called Ruby Rosa every Sunday night with my husband. We split a large pizza. And then I get all these like a flurry of messages being like, you don't actually eat that whole pizza. And I'm like, yes. You did all that. Yes.

Oh, my God. But this is what I'm talking about. The shock and awe. No, it's a real size pizza. It's a large pizza. Yeah. Like now I feel self-conscious about it. But stuff like that is what keeps me sane.

And it also makes me feel good that because I also have the luxury of cooking for myself most days, I know what's going into my food that makes it easier for me to lead a healthy lifestyle, but also not putting any restrictions on my diet is really helpful for me. And again, that is not me judging somebody who, you know, thrives on restrictions in their diet. And that's why I think there are so many different definitions of healthy and you need to have sort of. pockets of freedom to keep you seen. Yeah, I think what I love about us three, if I'm going to brag, is that we all have a very similar perspective. And maybe that's why we've all resonated really well together. Very similar perspectives of what healthy eating means.

And it's very personal, right? For me, it's just healthy eating is, how can I eat so that I have energy and I feel good most of the time and I'm happy. I feel like a lot of the times we don't talk about happiness and it can come in different forms. But for me, it comes a lot from just feeling nourished and enjoying life. And like Serena's talking about not putting labels or restrictions and just kind of finding out what works for me. And there's times when I don't feel very healthy and I'm not eating healthy.

But then there's times where I'm eating super healthy and I feel great. And I think it all just balances out and whatever at the end of the day, as long as you just feel good. And I always say 80-20 just because it's kind of, it just works. It's like 80% of the time. I eat well. You know, I feel like my best. And then the other 20% of the time, I still feel good, but I don't feel my best because I'm not, excuse me, I'm not exactly, you know, nourishing my body, you know, eating like greens. I'm eating the pizza on Sunday or whatever it is.

So. Pizza on Sunday. Yeah, that's what one of the things I always say. One of my mantras is that wellness is a tool. It's not an end unto itself. So the second that you're no longer using wellness as a way to live a better, happy. happier, more fulfilling life, it's no longer wellness. And I think that that really applies to how all of us eat. We eat well to the point where it enhances our life, but the second it starts to

detract from your life where you're no longer going to restaurants with friends and you're no longer enjoying yourself. It's no longer eating well. And I think there's that mental aspect that you're touching on and that you touched on with the happiness factor that you can't, you know, if you're focused so much on what you're putting in your body and not the experience of how you're putting it in your body, it takes away from the enjoyment. And I don't think that you can be very healthy unless you're healthy physically and mentally. And I think, you know, this is something Liz and I talk about a lot. I'm sure anxiety is going to come up at some point tonight. But for me, you're going to love hearing Ali talk about it. What is that? What does that feel like?

But I think the truth is for me, when I am eating well, I am also. feeling less anxious. And for me, like caffeine, alcohol, excessive amounts of refined sugar are all triggers. And that doesn't mean that I'm not going to go on vacation and have a bunch of cocktails or that I don't eat random handfuls of Sour Patch kids on a Tuesday. But at the end of the day, I know that I feel healthiest when I am paying attention to things that make me feel mentally well and that resonates physically. I love how consistent your vices are. Like they are Sour Patch Kids, they are Ruby Rosa.

You're like, these are my things. I love, yeah, booze. Yeah, as a wellness, I spent years as a wellness editor and I still write a lot of articles and the wellness sphere of things. And people are always like, what do I eat for gut health? What do I eat for gut health? And I'm like, the number one thing, I mean, you eat bone broth and like, I can give you your whole list of probiotics and prebiotics and all that.

But the number one thing that messes with your gut health is stress, like bar none. And so if you're eating whatever you're eating it in the car, if you're eating it on the run, you're eating it on your phone. You're digesting it worse than if you're eating crap, but you're sitting there and you're chewing really, not literal crap. Callie's like laughing. But you're chewing it and you're having a good conversation and you're not releasing cortisol, which is, you know, sending your body into flight or flight mode and you're not able to digest your food.

So I think that the mind nourishment is important as the body nourishment, especially when it comes to what you're eating. But we touch on a few, like, specific things. I want to get into, like, I feel like people are always like, you know, eat what feels good. But like, I like to be like, okay, but what is that? So, like, let's say one thing that you guys love to eat that makes you feel really good. And one thing that's supposed to be healthy, but you guys think is sort of bullshit. I love something that makes me feel really good is eating primarily plant-based. And I used to be more plant-based for whatever reason when I'm pregnant and a little bit into

nursing. I have another. Oh, she mentioned I have another baby. So, like, if you don't follow Ali on Instagram, start following her for her baby. Just for Luca. Just the cutest baby I've ever seen. Thank you. I crave a lot of meat.

And I think, you know, to touch on the point of what healthy eating means and being healthy is listening to your body. And I just started wanting like pork chops, which was not like me. I was like a veggie bowl kind of person. So something for me that just always, if I'm, if I've ever like, oh, I feel gross or I don't feel good. You know, I'm like tired. I'm lethargic. Then I'll eat a really big, big bowl of roasted veggies with like a quinoa or a whole grain or something like that. That always kind of brings me back to basics. And I know that that's, will make me feel really good along with drinking water in terms of something, I guess. And I I'm not well educated on it, but juicing in general is I know a lot of people now,

you've gone through the cellar juice, and I lived vicariously through you because I'm like, tell me everything. I don't understand and I don't want to do it. So I want it to end up badly. So it's not good for it. I literally send me a message when I finished my 30 days and was like, this bullshit. And I hate it. And she was like, oh, thank God.

I was worried that I was going to have to try it. So I was happy that you did. Well, and I sent you a message at the beginning where I was like, this is bullshit. Why are you doing this? And I was like, bitch, I'll have eggsma I'm trying to get rid of. That's like verbatim what you said. Okay. And you, Serena? I feel the same way about roasted vegetables and whole greens.

You can't take something. A lot of lemon juice. I'm somebody who sort of I put lemon juice on everything, including in my water. It just makes me feel great. You know, I was on a panel a few weeks ago with a traditional Chinese, he said that for people with anxiety, he recommends drinking lemon juice every morning. And I was like, lemon water is like a thing. Like we got it. It's a big wellness trend. But he was like, no, for people with anxiety, it like does something with your meridians or something.

That explains? It's science. I knew that subconsciously. Yeah. I mean, like I just said, I was never a big juicer before. I did do the 30 days of celery juice. And now I've got a juicer taking up space on my counter. But other than that, I'm not a big superfood person. I don't want to upset anybody who puts a bunch of things in their smoothies and stuff. But I'm a big fan of old faithful flax seeds, cheese, cheese, chia seeds. But beyond that, yeah, I'm terrified.

I always think I'm doing it wrong, too, putting maca and all these things in my smoothies. And then I'm like, it tastes so bad that I don't want to be drinking it anyway. So for me, I think, you know, those are things that, again, I think it's fun to experiment. with all of these things. But I don't necessarily think that we need anything beyond water, you know, a lot of plants and a good night's sleep. Some ruby rosa from time to time helps. I actually have a huge pet peeve with the whole powders thing.

I think that it's not fun to experiment with, honestly. I think that there's a lot of people who go on Instagram and they make their potions with their lattes and they have like five different types of traditional Chinese medicine herbs in there. And they don't know that the. or proper combinations, and they don't know what the dosage is, and they don't know how they're interacting with other stuff in their body. And I think this stuff is really potent and powerful, but that's why I think you should always work with a medical practitioner when you're using it. And it drives me nuts because there are people with hundreds of thousands of followers being like,

oh, put together these like five adaptogenic herbs. And I'm like, that's going to have a like volcanic effect in your body. Or just cancel it all out. So you might as well not even do it. And it's like, yeah, and there's a $100 latte and it's like not getting you anything. So that I wouldn't say to experiment that. But like if you combined them all, you could send yourself on like a bad high. Yeah, no, totally. I think it could be like a weird, gnarly situation. So for me, I would say my number one healthy food that I really love is fermented food.

I'm a huge, huge, huge sugar fiend, as you guys may have seen in the book already. I feel like I'm, if there's the dessert pages where I'm out. actively like eat dessert. And then there's the non-desert pages where I'm like, I wish I were eating dessert right now. But instead, I'm eating this other thing. So I'm a huge dessert fiend. I have the biggest sweet tooth. Occasionally I'll be like, I'm giving up sugar for two weeks, which doesn't go well. And also doesn't make me feel less anxious ever, which is always disappointing and also permission giving. But I find with fermented food, I keep a jar of sauerkraut in my fridge and I'll eat spoonfuls of it when I have sugar cravings. And you just need like one

or two spoonfuls and you can literally feel it like tingling on your tongue and it gets rid of a sugar craving in like a second. And it, yeah, so you're doing something good for your gut, your gut, not your butt. Maybe, yeah, like that too, technically, I guess. You're doing something good from your gut to your butt. And, and it, like, for me, it'll instantly eliminate sugar cravings. A strong yogurt will do it too, like a coconut coal or like a very fermented yogurt will do it as well. So I love that. And then for the stuff that I don't love, I'm going to say protein powder. Because I am not a fan of artificial sweeteners, including stevia. Stevia is like a little known fact, but they use stevia in some Amazon tribes as a form of birth control,

which just feels like a thing I don't want in my body. Not that I want to have a baby. But I just like would rather not have that in my body. So if I want protein in a smoothie, I will always use hold ham parts, which are just one. ingredient product and then I will also use collagen, a grass-fed collagen powder, which I really like. You're listening to the Healthier Together podcast. Okay, I want to take a brief, brief break to introduce you guys to a new sponsor who I am so, so, so, so, so excited about is one of my favorite food products in the world.

I love them so much. And if you follow me on Instagram, you've probably already guessed who it is because I post about them literally all the time. It is Siette foods. They are Mexican-American healthy food brand that make some of the best, most delicious food that I have ever had in my life. I grew up in California and Arizona. So I grew up obsessed with cassidias and tacos and enchiladas and all of that.

And when you start trying to eat better, it can be tricky to incorporate those types of foods into your life. And then, and then finally, Siette came along. and they truly changed the game. First of all, they're a family-owned brand, and they're like the sweetest, sweetest family. Whenever I talk to people at the company, it's like real people,

and they remember real things about my life, and they're so, I don't know, you just get the feeling that they're always, like, making delicious food and then heading out on a magical picnic where they're all, like, hugging each other and trying to bring healthy food to the world. It just, it feels like genuinely good people

with a genuinely good brand. And then, beyond that, Their food is insane. I have never had a sioux product that I don't like. They're all kind of game changers in their category, but there are a few that have like a special, special place in my heart and in my kitchen. And those are the tortillas and the hot sauces. The tortillas, they have a couple different varieties. They're all completely grain-free. They're super clean ingredients. I love reading the ingredient lists of siate products because they're like four or five ingredients and you know each one of them and you can understand all of them, which is great.

So they have a few different grain-free tortillas. I keep them in my freezer and I take out one tortilla at a time or however many I need at that specific time so that they never go bad and I always have a big stash on hand. So I love the cassava tortilla, which has a little bit more of a chew to it. And I love to use that one for casidias. I love it for enchiladas. It doesn't break apart when you roll it. You can kind of warm it up a little bit.

And then you can roll it and make something like an enchilada and it won't get that like icky break that ruins everything. So I love the cassava one for that. And then there's also an almond flour one that it has a little bit less chew than the cassava, but it also has a very nice texture and a little bit of a sweeter, nuttier flavor. So I love that one too. And then finally I'd say the cashew is also really, really up there for me. That one has a little bit of a sweeter more nutty flavor.

I would do that with something like a, this is going to like make me sound like a child. but like an almond butter and jelly roll up that you would make and cut into like a little log. Did anybody else do that when they were a kid? That was one of my favorite snacks. So I would do that with the cashew flour. If I was making maybe something with a breakfast, a breakfast type treat, I would use the cashew tortillas for that. I love them, love them, love them. I use them at least four or five times a week in my kitchen.

And then some other products that I like that they make, they make their incredible hot sauces, which are honestly very different than any other hot sauces that I've had before. They're a little bit creamier and they have a little bit more of a weight and a heft to them. They're like thicker and richer than a lot of more watery, vinegrate hot sauces that I've had. My favorite one is the habanero, which is the orange one, which has an incredible ingredient list. It is like, I'm just going to read it to you guys because it honestly impresses me so much. It's like water and apple cider vinegar and avocado, but then there's like golden beets in it and carrots and flax seeds.

And I'm just like, what is happening? And then garlic and habanero and chia seeds and turmeric. And I'm just like, this is incredible. It's such a good hot sauce. It's not too spicy. None of their hot sauces are crazy. Like I'm dying. I can't breathe spicy.

But they're all, I'd say they're more flavorful. And I really like that because when you're cooking, you don't want to just be bombarded with heat. you want to add delicious flavors to your food. So they are sponsoring this podcast, although I honestly feel like they don't need to because I'm just talking about how much I love them and I would do that for hours anyways.

You can find all of their delicious foods on their website, which is www.cetefoods.com. And you can use the code Liz, which is my name. It's three letters, L-I-Z, and you can get 10% off of your order. So you can try everything that you want on there for a little bit cheaper. Definitely recommend the cassava tortillas

and definitely recommend the habanero hot sauce. So that's what I would start with if I were you. And then the cheesy dips, the dairy-free cheese dips you guys can find in a store near you, those are not available online yet, but they are definitely worth checking out. And I think they will be available online very soon. So that is our sponsor for today. I love them. Definitely go to www.

www.canti Foods.com. Use the code Liz to check out some Miami products. If you have any questions about any of their products or need like, what does the green hot sauce taste like? Message me on Instagram at Liz's movies. And I will talk to you for hours about Siette. I love them so much. All right.

Let's get back to the episode. All right. Let's talk about other wellness stuff. What other wellness practices are you guys into these days? I feel like I'm bad at wellness. You're on your bike all the time. Yeah. I mean, I feel like, I mean, exercise is kind of the blah answer.

But for me, exercise has always been a part of life. I played sports in school and I ended up getting really into spinning. I bought a spin bike for my home. And it's kind of a great little 20, 30 or 45 minute release for me. And I always, you know, I do that. But I feel like exercise isn't very exciting, especially when you do it home. Is there a way that you, because you do it pretty much every day, am I right? Or like, or you do it all in one day and then you put out video throughout the week. I mean, it all varies based on how I'm feeling Like today, as you notice on the stories, if anyone follows me, I have one of my cooking days on Tuesdays where from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m., I'm cooking like four to five recipes and I'm posting

them on Instagram stories and I'm on my feet all day to the point where I bought special sneakers to wear because my back was hurting, like a true chef, I guess. And on those days, I won't work out in the morning because, I mean, especially being pregnant, I would be dead by the end of the day and I would have no energy left for, you know, my son or my husband. But in general, I would say like five to six days a week. And how do you motivate yourself to do that? Because I feel like I know I try to work out in the morning. When on a day where I work out, my anxiety literally goes from like a five when I wake up,

which to like a one or two to start the rest of my day. And it makes such a huge difference. But I will literally sit there on my couch. I will stare at my yoga mat and I will be like, go work out, Liz. Go work out, Liz. And I'll do that for like 20 minutes, which is the. amount of time I want to work out. I mean, I think like any amount, what I always tell myself is if I'm not in the mood to work out, I always say, if it say it's the gym, it's like get to the gym and do

10 minutes, just walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes. And usually when I get there and I'm like, I'll always put on a cute workout outfit and I'll get there and I'll just start feeling good immediately once endorphins start surging. And after like a few minutes, the music is on. And I just, I get into the zone and then I enjoy myself and I continue on and do a full workout or It's, you know, what I do at home. I have a Peloton bike. So I'll get on. I'll be like, I'll put on a 45-minute ride and I'll say, I'm going to just get through 15 minutes.

And then at like, 10 minutes, I'm like, this is awesome. Like, I could rule the world, you know, and I'm listening to the instructors and get all amped up. And then I go for like a 30 or 45-minute ride. But I would say in general, exercise is my biggest form of wellness as well as eating well. And I think having a son really brought a lot of things into perspective. And I feel like whenever I spend most, whenever I spend most, whenever I spend dedicated energy with him. Even though it's draining because he's a toddler, I still feel so fulfilled and uplifted that it just makes me overwhelmingly happy. And that takes over anything.

Like if I'm tired and I'm with him, he like gives me energy somehow. So I really try to make an effort of like signing off at 530 or yeah, like 530 and then just spending the rest of the time with my husband and my son and my husband now and I now do something where we call it freestyling where we, after dinner, we get to the couch and we give you together 30 minutes of freestyling on our phones where we can do whatever we want. We don't really talk to each other. It's, you know, as everyone knows, we're like on opposite sides of the couch. We get our 30 minutes in, like we might share something. He never wants to see what I want to see.

He never cares. And then when we're done, we put our phones away and we enjoy the night together. And that's been really good for like my general, I guess, self-care wellness. And what do you guys do? On the couch? Yeah. Like, what do you do after you put your phone away? I mean, well, we'll be open. Yeah, I mean, I would like to say that we try to maintain a healthy sex life if we're being honest,

but that's hard when you're pregnant. I would say we love playing cards, so we always try to play cards. We like to limit TV unless we know exactly what we're going to watch. So if we're into a show, we'll watch that, or if we know there's a movie. But I hate just being like, let's find something to watch. And then you do it for like an hour. Never works. Never works. And then you're like, okay, it's time to go to bed. And we've just scrolled through Netflix for an hour. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, just like normal things talking. Sometimes I make him get up and we did spring cleaning last night. So it really runs the gamut. But I love Zach and I and my husband who's here somewhere. There you. Oh, look at cuties. You guys. We've been trying to do this thing where we play games to

more than watch TV because it's so fun to inner. Like, it just, it puts you to best. in such a different state of mind to have interacted with a human and your partner. I feel like we put such energy into interacting with all of these people all day. And then when we come home and our partner is there, we're just like, oh, I'm tired. Like, I'm going to be on my phone. And that's the person who's arguably the most important to put energy into. So we've gotten a few two player games code name. Shout out to code names and shout out to lost cities.

Yeah, it gets very intense. I look for that target the other day. It wasn't there because I saw it on your stories. Really? Can it be found at Target? I don't know. I'm going to get you it as a present. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Is there a swipe-up thing? My push present. Swipe up on this podcast. Oh, this has been recorded for my podcast, too, by the way.

It'll be in the show notes. Yeah, it'll be in the show notes. Okay. Serena? Do you remember the question? Working out for me is a big one, too. Same thing. Baseline anxiety is much lower, and I just feel much more productive when I sit down. to work. I feel like my mind is quieter. Can you speak to that for a second though? Because you've had a workout journey. You were no worker outer. No, I was a potato until I was like 29. And I couldn't put my suitcase in the overhead bin. And I like got winded walking up the two flights of stairs to my

apartment. And my husband, Logan, was like, I don't know how to say this to a woman without being offensive. He's like, you're so beautiful. You are the least physically fit. person I know. I was probably winded from walking down in the street that day or something. And I had also gone to the doctor that year for my, like, you know, semi-annual. And I go to the doctors like every three years. And he was like asking those questions that are the baseline physical questions, you know, do you drink?

Do you smoke? Do you exercise? And I'm like giving him all the answer. Like, no. And you goes to the next question. And then he goes back. And he was like, what do you mean you don't exercise? I don't exercise.

And he's like, ever? I was like, no. And he's like, okay, well, most people lie about that. And I was like, okay. And he was like, you really need to exercise. And so between my doctor and my husband, I was like, I shall give this a old college try. And I tried and I stopped and I tried and I stopped. And then like, you know, any vanity driven female, I got.

married and I was like, toned arms would be nice. And so I started working out and I made it my goal to go three times a week. That's a lot when you've been a potato for so long. And so I started trying out all these exercise classes and really paying attention to what I liked and disliked. And for me, like, I hated bar. And I was in these classes and lifting my leg over and over and they're like just three more minutes. And I was like, are you kidding me? The worst three minutes of my life. And it's just repeated, you know, 90 times in that class.

And I did spinning and I did boxing. I threw up. I tried to run. I did all these things. And finally I ended up in hot power yoga. And for better for worse, I loved it, which was also weird because I couldn't do a single Chaturanga. But I started going those three times.

week. And then after that, I built it up to four times and then five times. And I just started realizing that it became part of my routine. You know, they say it takes 30 days to build a habit. And then I don't know what the next installment of days is. But it's something. It's something. And I started, it started being so much fun for me too. And I didn't have to think about it anymore. When I got out of bed, I just sort of rolled out of bed, put my clothes on and was out the door. And I was a psycho. I was going to 6.30 a.m. classes every morning for a year, basically. And then I started to realize that I needed to scale it back a bit because I was just getting really tired. And so I started doing these online workouts with somebody named Melissa Wood. She has amazing workouts online.

Melissa Wood Health. I'm creepily obsessed with her. And I started doing those at home in addition to doing another class once a week for cardio. And they're sort of Pilates yoga fusion. They're all sort of 30-ish minutes. And sometimes I'll do too if I'm feeling particularly ambitious. But I love them. And they are such a wonderful way to start my day. I don't meditate, but I feel like exercise is my form of meditation. And it's just been such a game changer in my life. And I think in addition to it being a good wellness practice, it's made me feel so much more confident in so many other areas of my life. because it's the one thing that you can look at and actually track your progress and look back and be like, you are a potato that could not chaturanga and now you can do 30 in an hour.

If you can do that in exercise, why can't you apply that to other areas of your life where you're not good at something and you just keep doing it? And suddenly you have the mental strength to continue doing that. And if it's something that you're afraid of, which I do think that group classes, especially in New York City, can be very intimidating and people are not very nice or well. welcoming, which is why if you're ever looking for a good class, go to Moto Yoga. It's the most wonderful mishmosh of people. But yeah, so I think exercise is the biggest one for me. I also read a lot, unless that make me sound overly intellectual or pretentious. They're like medium

trashy novels. But they're the best way to relax. It's the one thing. I can't relax when I watch TV. And I watch a lot of TV, which is counterintuitive. But I am able to do other things while I'm watching TV. I'm able to respond to emails. I'm able to be on Instagram. I'm able to what I call mind race, which is just think of endless things that I need to do or should be doing or whatever. And for me, reading requires so much focus that I'm able to sort of get out of my own head and into somebody else's, so to speak. And that's been so, so helpful for me. I am, like the world's biggest fan girl for reading. I'm a reading evangelist.

My husband actually did a project in his grad school program where he looked into a bunch of studies. He was doing this crazy eye tracker thing that I shan't try to explain. But it showed that reading activates a lot of the same parts of your brain as meditating does. And it's because it's like it is forced mindfulness. Like you cannot have your mind wander and read.

And if you notice when you're reading that you're rereading the same page over and over that is your mind wandering. But every time you bring it back to the words, you're doing that mindfulness practice of retraining your brain and retraining your brain. So I also think that reading and reading builds empathy. I think you can tell people like, you know the people in the world, there's a lot of public figures who were like, oh, like, they don't seem like the nicest. And I'm like, they don't read books. Like they don't. I think that if you read fiction, you can't be a bad person because you spend so much time inhabiting the brains of other people. I think it's, I think

reading is like you should eat, you should drink water, you should have sex, and you should read books. And then you're like, you're living a good life. We're going to put that on t-shirts. Eat, drink, water, sex. Read. Yeah. So I love that. And I love, I also think that, um, I think it was Gretchen Rubin who said if you have that book on your nightstand and you keep not like wanting to read it every night, but you've read like 50 pages and you're like, oh, I'm like reading this book. but I don't want to read it. Just like let go of it. Like get into your medium trashy. Like don't try to read like a literary fiction because you think it's like fancy.

Like read a book that makes you want to read every night and that's the best quality book that you can read, I think. What about any of like the weirder like you CBD? I'm deep in the CBD. I hate being high so I don't do anything with THC or, you know, more than the minimal amount required to make CBD effective. I love CBD. It's been a game changer for me. I only really started taking it like a little over a year ago now. I love CBD.

I love, honestly, I love bass. It's so basic. But I live in my bath. I hate bass. I know you do. It's one of my least favorite things about you. I just feel like you wait for so long for the tub to fill up and you're just kind of standing there. And then it's too hot.

And then you get in and you're kind of sweaty. And then it's quickly too cold. And then it's time to get out. But you're sort of missing. the point. This has become like a thing in my marriage. It's like every night I get in the bath. I stay in there. I get too hot. And then I lie on the bed for 10 minutes naked. And my husband comes out of bed. I'm like, what are you doing? I took too hot a bath. This is literally been for eight years. Mating ritual. Yeah. Yeah. You would think. But it's slightly less sexy than it sounds, I'm sure.

You do this every night? Like five nights a week. Including in the summer. But for me, it's more I read in the bath. So it's just like an added, pleasant sensory experience. I often have a cocktail in the bath. I have a bath tray that's very convenient. You could read and have a cocktail on the couch and then you're not too hot and then too cold and then having to lay on the bed for 10 minutes naked. But the part before you get too hot is really nice.

You can put things in the baths, salt. They make CBD bath bomb. do indeed. My friend who's here actually wrote a CBD book, Gretchen Littaker, and she has recipes to make your own CBD bath bombs if you're feeling crafting. New project. But yeah, those are those are sort of the bulk of it for me. And then also, I'm not really, I'm lucky in that my husband doesn't really like to be on his phone. And he sort of uses Instagram. Like he scrolls through it once for like 90 seconds at night and and wants to show me a couple barstools posts and a puppy. And like, that's it.

And I wonder what it's like to live like that. But he's a very happy person. So I imagine it's a good way to live your life. So I'm sort of discouraged silently from being on my phone. What is your guys' relationship with social media? Because you both, like me, need it for your career. I was interviewing somebody recently on the podcast, and she's a public figure. And she's like, yeah, I just think we should all go off social media.

And I was like, well, then what happens if you have your next book come out? I don't feel like your publisher would be super down for that. And she's like, well, I'll send it to like other people who have social media. And I'm like, well, then they have to do it for you not to do it. But I do think it's a very complicated relationship, particularly when you feel like you need to push out content to a certain amount. So how do you guys navigate that? I find, and I know Serena can talk about this too, but I found that for a while I was on my Instagram and I was scrolling and I was watching stories and I wasn't feeling inspired and I was

feeling like almost jealousy or competition or just these feelings that I didn't want to have every single day. So I was so thankful when Instagram came out of the feature to mute people's stories and posts so you can be politically correct and still follow people but you're not watching or know what they're doing. So, but they still have to follow. Because in our business, it can be important that you, are not important, but it goes a long way if you, if you follow someone. And then I did a huge unfollowing and purge.

I don't follow as many people. I wish I could unfollow their Kardashians, but I'm just so into their lives. Don't do it. I love them. But, I mean, I really, I really love social media. And I love what it does. I think if you, you know, they always, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you know, build your try, build your community.

And I think even if you're not an influencer and you're not using social media professionally, I still think you can do that online with your friends. You can unfollow friends that don't make you feel good. And so that when you go on your phone, it is a source of happiness and inspiration. You know, if you're following someone who is really extreme with the way they diet and the way they exercise and it's making you feel bad and lazy and potato-like, you should probably unfollow them because it's not. inspiring you, follow relatable people, follow people that eat the same way you do.

Maybe, you know, I spend a lot of time with my family. I place a lot of weight with that. And, you know, I like to follow people who are family-oriented, just things like that. But my husband is also an entrepreneur. So I find that he doesn't use social media at all personally. He has an account for their company, but he's not on social media. It's more what we struggle with is when to turn it off at night, just your phone, like your emails, you know, it's an endless stream of things you could be doing to build your business. So we struggle a lot with that. And mine happens to be on social media.

But again, like, I just try to make it as positive as base as I possibly can. I try to be positive and be as inspirational as I can on my platforms and kind of, like, practice what I preach. Because I feel like it all comes together. Like if I'm spewing hate or I'm spewing negativity, then I'm probably going to follow people like that because I want to like you know stir the pot. I can't picture you spewing hate or negativity. Like it's like an interesting image because it feels fake. Yeah, that's very nice. Great cutter. I have a, I have a very similar approach in that I, okay, so I used to follow a lot of

people that at one point or another I really did enjoy following and then found myself thinking, oh wow, like I, this message is no longer resonating with me or it's making me feel icky about myself in some kind of way. And a lot of times that has nothing to do with the person that you're following. It's just triggering an insecurity that you have or that you're focused on within yourself. And it's not healthy for that to be reflected back to you every single day. So I did a giant purge, an especially large one this January. And I have felt so much freer now that my feet is like mainly clothes and puppies. But I also think that for me, I don't really, spend a lot of time scrolling or watching stories. And I have a really positive relationship in

that I enjoy doing stories. And then I also enjoy because it's just me. And it takes a lot of pressure off. Like, I don't like putting up photos in my own feed because I feel like captions don't afford me the opportunity to be myself as much as I would like. And stories really give me that freedom. But I also enjoy interacting with my people in the DMs. But that, That's been a really hard thing for me to shut off because I think because I do make such an effort to respond to every message, it's not a scalable activity. And I feel really guilty when I don't get to things. And then it's hard for me at night to stop responding to things. And I hate to leave somebody hanging because at the end of the day, a lot of, you know, it does irk me a little bit when people in the social media space complain.

about people messaging them. I'm like, somebody took time out of their day to send you that message. So the least you can do is acknowledge it. I mean, unless it's something bitchy, in which case, move on. But I think it is something that I think is an important part of social media is to keep it actually feeling social. And that's what brings me back to Instagram on a daily basis is that I do feel like it's the one way that I'm connecting with people. And having been blogging for so long now and having blogged in a time with, out social media, it is kind of wonderful to talk to people who have been around, you know, reading the blog or whatever since, I don't know, I started in 2012 and have a way to communicate

with me. Like, they could leave a comment on the blog, but you have to put in a fucking caption and like do all those things. Nobody wants to do that. So Instagram is just removes that barrier to entry and makes it much easier for people to actually communicate. But I do think there are just it, it, I think it's important to be mindful of the fact that Instagram breeds the comparison game, which is ingrained in us as humans. We are wired to compare ourselves to others. And I think unfortunately, the reason that our generation struggles with so much anxiety and discontent is the fact that we're able to compare ourselves to literally everyone. I know what a girl I went to like kindergarten with had for breakfast. And, and, and her, her,

breakfast looks better than mine. I'm like, oh, I should have pancakes. You know, that's, I think that's a natural reaction for people to have. And I also think that we all talk about how Instagram's the highlight real. But I also think it's, it's important to be real on Instagram, but it's also like I never go on Instagram to bitch. Like, if I'm not in a good mood, I'm not serving anyone by coming on and being in a bad mood. Then I just won't go online. Or like if you're having a fight, like I have fights with my husband all the time, but I'm not going to do that to him to put it on Instagram. So you just see like there are a couple of goals, you know, like kissing under a cherry blossom tree.

It's a fine line though, right? Because you want to share those moments so people know that you're having them. So I think that going back and saying, maybe referencing or explaining something that happened after you've like cooled down. I think like going on and just ranting. Like at one time I went and I went for a couple's massage with my husband. This happened a couple months ago. And I got there and he's like deep in his massage.

And a half an hour later, the woman comes out and she's just like, sorry your masseuse is not here. And I'm like, what? And so I went home. And I was so angry about it. And I just, just because I was like, I'm pregnant and I need this massage. And I want on Instagram. And I tried to be, I tried to spin it in a way that was positive so that I could like inspire people. Like, yes, this really sucks that I can't get my massage. But now I get to work out because I have this extra 45 minutes in my day. So I'm going to use it to work out and get rid of all this energy. And I found that just like being honest that I was frustrated, people were like, I can't believe you get frustrated. I'm like, of course I do.

You know, but I feel like just giving like not a lesson because that sounds silly, but just like admitting you're real that you had a fight with your husband and this is how we resolved it. In case you might be fighting about this too. Like my husband leaves, I don't know if you do this, Zach, don't do it. But if you leave your dry cleaning tags, I don't even know what they do because I don't do dry cleaning. But it's tags everywhere. He can't put his like, you know, dirty clothes in the hamper. it's on the hamper. And I share these moments

and there's so many people reaching out that are like, this is so relatable. So I feel like it's good to show little things but never just go on and just, you know,

it can't be a fresh fight that you're bitching about for lack of better words. I was sitting there and he's like, Liz is the one who leaves everything everywhere. It's the number one fight we do have is about how messy I am.

Yeah, I'm working on it. But don't you think also it's important to pick the things that you choose to share on social media? because there's not enough time to share everything. So I think it's okay to put boundaries up and be like, like I don't really talk about my relationship on here,

or I don't show you my bedroom on here, or I don't do this. And it doesn't mean that you're hiding it or that it's, you know, like you're not, you don't want people to know those things about you. It's just that, you know, for example, I always use this as my example. I don't talk about politics ever, period.

Like never, never, never. And I got so many messages from people during the election being like, did you vote? Like thousands of DMs being like, you should be using your platform to encourage people to vote. I'm like, I just scrolled my Instagram feed. Every single person in my feed is encouraging people to vote. Like mine, you want a meal to make after you vote or you want a good serum for tonight? Like, I'm your girl. You don't need me to tell you to vote.

Like, that's, you can't be all things to all people. I also love what you said about putting the social back into social media because I find that myself when I start to feel kind of like jealous or anxious or like I'm not enjoying the platform, if I start actually engaging with people, like commenting real comments and reading their captions and not just like looking at their pictures and being like, oh, like you're in Bermuda or wherever you were last. But it makes me feel it humanizes them. And I think some of I've been lucky enough to build some really nice real relationships off

social media. And I know more and more people where that's the case. where they literally slid into each other's DMs and then they formed a real relationship. But I think that taking it offline then. So you comment on each other's lives, you see what's going on, but then you're like,

let's meet up or like I'm coming to your town. Or let's talk on the phone or let's FaceTime if you're far away. I think that having a real conversation that's not put into these little character sound bites is so important. But I do think that recognizing that we can make real connections on the platform and not when I'm just scrolling and consuming the media part,

I feel like crap all the time. You're listening to the Healthier Together podcast. I talk a lot about this in my book, but my diet is around 80% vegetables with the other 20% being animal protein, legumes, and grains. I am super picky about my meat, though, and there are literally zero stores in my Brooklyn neighborhood that have the grass fed and finished and pasteurized products that I want. And honestly, I would rather eat no meat than eat meat that's inhumanely raised or filled with the kind of hormones that I do not want my body.

That is why I was so excited when I discovered Butcherbox a few years back. They send incredibly high-quality animal proteins frozen directly to your door. And this stuff is really frozen too. Sometimes it would sit out all day while I was at work. And when I came home, it was still rock-solid. Beyond being far better for the environment, this type of meat is way better for our bodies. Grass-fed beef, for example, has lower levels of unhealthy fats and higher levels of omega-3s than other types of meat, in addition to vitamins A and E and a ton of other health benefits.

And if you want even more omega-3s, butcher box now carries wild Alaskan sackai salmon. While we sometimes defrost our products in the fridge, more often I'll actually cook it straight from frozen, which I love because then no matter what, if plans change or if you're too tired to cook, your meat never goes bad and you never waste all that money. I'll pop the frozen meat straight into my instant pot, which is like an amazing life hack, or I'll use the ground beef to make my way more veggies bolognets, which is a weeknight staple in our house. I'm such a huge advocate for healthy eating being accessible to everyone. I'm sure you guys have heard me talk about this before.

It's why I don't use fancy ingredients in my recipes. I want everybody to be able to make them no matter where they live or what grocery stores they have access to. And I think Butcher Box, which ships nationwide, is a huge step in the right direction. If you want to try it for yourself, go to Butcherbox.com slash Liz Moody. That's butcherbox.com slash Liz Moody, like my name. I'll also leave a link in the show notes. And if you use that link or use the URL that I just said, you'll get $20 off your first order plus two packs of bacon and two pounds of breakfast sausage totally free. I love Butcher Box.

Having a stash of healthy animal protein in my freezer just makes it so much easier to have dinner on the table in any given night. And I hope you love them too. DM me on Insta at Liz Moody if you need ideas for what to make. Now let's get back to the episode. So healthier together is the whole concept is about getting healthy with a love person. and how being in a community and it enables us to get a lot healthier. So the concept of the book works for parents. It works for friends.

It works for coworkers. But you guys are both in committed, loving marriages. And I want to talk a little bit about what happens when you have healthy lifestyle choices that aren't necessarily emulated by your partners. So first of all, are your guys' partners healthy? What is their approach to healthy lifestyle? I mean, my husband, I have this rule where, and this is the same way for my son, the way we're raising him is whatever I make is what I'm offering you to eat. And if you don't want to eat it, then you don't have to eat it. But I'm very lucky where my husband wants to feel good and wants to be, you know, wants to eat well. So he eats everything I do and I cook very healthy at home. But he's always. also just like me, where we love to drink a bottle of wine.

I mean, I used to love to drink a bottle of wine after dinner, and that's okay. And so we live very balanced. We're the exact same way. I would say that, you know, he's 6'4 and Puerto Rican, so he definitely likes hardier, meatier foods than me, and he'll have those like today put up a picture. He went to an Italian restaurant and had a literal lobster feast today for lunch. I'm like on a Tuesday, it's kind of, and he, you know, when he's at work, he might, you know, He always texts me pictures of the healthy foods he's eating.

So he really enjoys it. He actually used to live with a nutritionist. I think that gave him a really good backbone for healthy eating. But he's just, you know, especially when you're an entrepreneur or you work a high-powered job or you know, you're a busy person, busy mom, you have this busy life. You need to feel good to get what you need to get done in a day. And he has a very, very stressful high-risk job in his company. And he needs to feel good.

And he doesn't feel well. He comes home. when he's like, you could tell, he just, like, is dejected. He didn't, you know, say he runs sales. He's like, I didn't sell as much. I, you know, I'm stressed about this. And you just notice it in his whole body. But when he's healthy and eating well, I think he just really understands that.

But we both, like, enjoy the same kind of balanced lifestyle. So I'm really, really lucky. Well, like, how much time do we have? Actually, I wrote a whole book about it. It's called The Dude Diet. So you can track my husband, Logan's progress. He's also an excellent sport for, for, letting me sort of out his nutritional confusion to the world.

But we first started dating when I was in culinary school eight years ago. And he loves food more than anyone I've ever met in my life. It's like quite terrifying in the best possible way. And that was one of the things that initially attracted me to him. And I was like, oh, you know, when we're together, he lived in New York. I lived in Paris. I was like, he's definitely special occasion eating. and then we moved in together and I was like, no, no.

And he literally did not eat any vegetables and would be like, I eat a salad for lunch every day. And I was just like, this cannot possibly be true. Like, what is in this salad? He was like, wow, it's a buffalo chicken salad. It has. And he starts to, I was like, congratulations. You eat chicken fingers for lunch every day.

And he genuinely thought that they were magically healthy because they were briefly in contact with Iceberg. But I didn't want to shame him in any way, and I didn't want him to not enjoy the food he was eating. But he did sort of have this like 90s notion that if he was going to be healthy, he had to eat like tofu and plain yogurt and spinach forever, which made no sense. He also like, his most notable quote was every time I would confront him about this. He's like, not eating weird vegan shit. And I was like, I am not a vegan, nor do I enjoy eating weird shit. Like, that's such a strange rebuff. And so in order to sort of convince him to eat more healthly, I just started revamping his favorite foods and not making them low calorie or low

fat or low carb, just using real ingredients. Because for me, it's actually the additives and processed foods that worry me much more than fat or calories or carbs. And just using leaner meats, more vegetables, more whole grains and making everything from lasagna to cheese steak to chicken fingers, meatballs, all of these things that he loved and he was so excited about them. And it's not that I was not trying to trick him and getting him to eat this and being like, there's something nasty in it. But like, you know, there would be certain, like I put cauliflower rice in meatballs instead of breadcrumbs and it works and you can't taste it because it's cooked.

It just dissolves into the meat. But all of these things, he ended up loving them so much that I was like, this is clearly, you know, he is the rule, not the exception amongst especially. And I call it the dude diet. It's really for anybody that is just trying to sort of eat in a balanced way without restricting themselves too much. But he sort of, again, works in a job where when he goes out to lunch, he has like a full steak dinner at noon. which sometimes he doesn't have any other options. So he tries to eat more healthily when he's at home. But he's come around to this way of eating because, again, he feels so good. He's also lost like 20 pounds and kept it off over the course of the past five years. But I, you know, he's so much more understanding when it comes to my cook, like my experiments in the kitchen because he knows that even if it's not exactly the same as, you know, you know, the Buffalo chicken tenders that he would have gotten in a bar.

It still tastes really good and it's something that he's excited about. And it's also something that like, he also thinks he's like a celebrity now. So. It kind of is. I feel like he must get recognized. But he's an excellent ambassador. Like really keeps him in check. I'm like, you know, because he can't like, yeah.

Dude diet two blows up. I might have to replace you. But he's, yeah, he's like really come around to this. I find that for better for worse, I think men are just not bombarded with the same amount of information regarding nutrition that women are. And they're not consistently seeing, you know, bikini models in their feed and reading what I eat in the day features. He was literally internalizing various rules from popular mainstream diets and, you know,

eating an entire three pound bag of chocolate covered pretzels and being like, they're gluten-free, don't worry. You know, and we're like, what? that is not synonymous with healthy. And it's very confusing when there's so much information about diets, but nobody's really explaining it. And if you're not that interested, you're not going to do your own research. You're just going to latch on to random things and apply them.

Or if you like don't want to know, I feel like a lot of people are like, no, I would rather. Yeah. Thank you so much. Exactly. But he's a big, he's very athletic. So he does exercise a lot, hence the earlier potato conversation. We motivate each other in different ways.

So my story, this is. super interesting because I was the not vegetable eater when I met Zach, my husband, and he was raised in Berkeley. And I think the first night he came over and spent the night, I made him oatmeal. And it was microwave oatmeal and I put frozen blueberries in it. And then I put like a cup of Splenda in it. Because that was how I was eating my food at the time. I was just like, the Splenda is going to make it delicious. And he tried to eat it. And I think he like, he tried his best, you know, because he's trying to impress me or whatever. But then he even, very quickly was like, all right, we're going to go to the farmer's market. And he took me to the

farmer's market and we bought vegetables. And he was preparing food from like a macrobotic cookbook at the time, not because he was macrobotic at all, but because he just found it at like a used bookstore and thought it was interesting. And he taught me to like vegetables essentially, which then now we make money off of that. So I'm sure he feels positively about that decision. But then it sometimes goes the other way where like I've been meditating now for a few years. And And it made such a huge difference in my life. I do 20 minutes without fail every single day of Vedic meditation. And I wanted him to do it because it made me feel so good.

And you want the people that you love to feel good. And I think that's where that stuff comes from often. So I bought him the class, which was like $800. I sent him to the meditation. And then he came home. And I was like, did you love it? And he's like, yeah, it's okay. And I was like, but like, do you feel like your life has changed?

And he was like, fine. And then he meditated. I think for two weeks or something, and then he stopped. And it was kind of hard for me because I think you really want the people you love to have the same benefits that you have. And I had to realize he kind of sat me down and he's like, if I have 20 minutes in a day, I feel better and read more benefits if I spend that time exercising rather than meditating. And I think it's being healthier together is about opening other people up to the things that are changing your life. But I think it's also about acknowledging that different things change different people's lives and giving. room for that. So my mom, on the other hand, truly did not consume fat until two years ago

because she very much internalized, like, the 90s where it was like fat as bad. And I was like, I had her go through her diet and there was literally no fat and she gets migraines. And if you get migraines, you really, anything with brain health, you need to be very conscious of consuming healthy fats. And so I made her a bunch of fat, rich food that was delicious, but with really, really healthy fats. And I sort of slowly eased her in that way. So I think you can expose. people, but then you have to really be cognizant of letting them make their choices. And even if their choices cost you $800 so that you can't get back, you have to respect that that was a choice. All right. So one more community question. And then I think we're going to open it up to questions

from the audience. I love getting healthier together because it is about friendship as much as it's about relationships. But I think a lot of people can be intimidated by that notion of making friends as an adult. Can you guys speak a little bit to forming community as an adult human and how you guys do that? Some hot tips. I like the serrino always looks at me. I feel like you're like the grown-up in the group. We're like, how do you help us? No, I was just going to lead with it's very different for me now and I don't know how many people here have children just so I know what the audience is. Oh gosh. Okay. It's very different. So now you know what to look forward to. How about that? So I feel like it's very different for me now because my friendships are built primarily around the need for mom friends.

And you just need someone to talk to about everything that you're going through when you're pregnant, when you have children. So for me, it's actually been easier to make friends than ever before because you have this automatic commonality where you're like, look, I have a baby. And then there's another person. I like, I always joke with my husband. I'm like, we need to make up some sort of sign when you're walking down the street. like I'm open for a mom friend, you know. But we've been like, I've been at the park and I've never the kind of person to really open up and be like try to make a friend.

I mean, I haven't done that since, you know, college. But I find myself at the park being like, what's that brand of scooter? My, you know, my son really wants a scooter now. And I just have these like little bits. And it's really exciting for me at this stage in my life because I had mentioned before. I'm a super family-oriented person. I have four best girlfriends from when we were, you know, five years old and those are my friends. I don't even talk to my college friends anymore. I just

have, those are like my girls and then I have my family and I've always been really satisfied with that. But now I find myself with these groups of mom friends. I'm like organizing mom meetups and I'm just really, really enjoying it. So, you know, I download the peanut app. So I'm getting really into that. I just, someone told me too. It's really cute. It's basically like a Tinder, a non-sexual Tinder for moms. That sounded, I led wrong with that. It's like a friendship. app. But I'm really, really enjoying the stage of friendship in my life. I think being, first of all, I think when it comes to making friends, you kind of have to really be open and put yourself out there. And I think it's so difficult to be vulnerable

with people you're already close with, let alone with new people. When I graduated from college, I moved to Paris. And I remember making the decision. And a lot of my friends being like, so like, do you know anyone over there? I was like, no. I like, do you speak? speak French. I'm like, kind of. Like, do you know your way around? Like, no, I was like, stop scaring me and that I got there. And I, all of those things really hit me. And I was like, wow, like I do not have any friends. And I wasn't starting culinary school for a couple months. And I had no context for meeting people. So I did use, I think sometimes using your existing network to help you, help set you up on a friend date, so to speak, you know, somebody they think you may get along with,

whether it's their best friends, cousins, friends, roommate from college. It doesn't really matter. And I think that really changed my perspective. I mean, that was eight years ago, but it really changed my perspective on making new friends because I went on so many friend dates and so many of them were so bad. And it's like dating in real life and you're like, what's the worst that can happen here? Like I have to sit through this wondering and then I never see this person again. And then sometimes you love that person and you're like, I never would have had

this person in my life if I hadn't opened myself up to it. So I think now I just don't really have any fear. I also just love meeting new people. So I think if you are a good listener, you can sort of suss out pretty quickly if you're going to get along with somebody off the bat. And the great thing about social media, too, if you actually make it social, I think that there are ways that people can find you. This is a very weird example, but I was in the same yoga class with this girl every day for a year, basically. And we would acknowledge each other pleasantly when we walked in and out.

And then somebody sent her one of my recipes. And she didn't realize it was me. She clicked on my Instagram profile. I was like, I know that girl from yoga class. And she DM me and was like, hey, do you want to get lunch? And like, we got lunch. And now we are friends. And we text and we out.

And like, that's a very weird way to make a new friend. But, you know, I think if you're open to it and are willing to put yourself out there, because at the end of the day, I did read a very interesting article once where it's like you make, sometimes if you look at your childhood friends, you're like, we would not be friends now, but like we in it. I'm like, they're not going anywhere. And it's because you had this shared experience. And same thing with your high school friends and your college friends.

Like you went through things together. Whereas when you meet somebody now, I'm like, how long do we have? Like how far back in our lives should we start this conversation? You know? And it feels really stressful to start a relationship from scratch. Well, and I think there's something to be said, too, for not assuming that other people have their friend group set. I think I do that a lot where I'm just like, oh, like, that girl's cool. She has like her high school childhood best friends and she doesn't need me to hang out with her.

But I found recently I've been, I used to love moving to new places. I traveled all the time. I moved all the time. And it was such an excuse to be like, oh, I'm new here. I don't have my friend group. Can I come hang out with you? But I think if you can put yourself into then mentality that that's not embarrassing, no matter where you are. You can always have room for new people that will enhance your life in some way. And every single other person can as well because we're always changing. The people that are going to enhance your life today are going to be different than the ones a year ago or two years ago or three years ago. And so I think those slots are sort of always open. So for me, it's been changing my frame of mind. So when I,

we interact with people constantly, but instead of interacting with them and then being like, okay, I shan't talk to them again because they're set. Like they're so cool. they have all their dinner plans for the year, I'll be like, do you guys want to do something? And then to your second point, I try to do something. So I think if you can get beyond, like, do you want to have a drink? Do you want to have dinner and be like, do you want to go for a bike ride? Or do you want to try this weird class? Like, I've been trying to get Serena do a pottery class with me.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. And I think that if you can create experiences that you're sharing, it fosters a lot greater relationships and community than just like catching up at a bar. although I love to do that too. All right. So we're going to open up to questions. Questions about anything?

Like cooking, food, anxiety, how much sex that I has with her husband. Also, just want to say, love you guys. Serena, you changed my skin. Just don't need to say. Inspired me, change my skin. Thank you. So I have a friend question. How would you guys?

This is really like open to kind of talking about. But recently, sorry. Recently I've had like a lifelong friend that I've been friends with who's kind of struggling with wellness and kind of navigating her body image. And I'm someone who's been through the ringer and like going to therapy, a very, very body like positive, I guess, just trying to get her to accept herself, always trying to lift her up. And recently she's made like some comments where I was like the brunt of her. Look, I wish I could just be happy like being your size type of a comment. So how would you go about talking to someone who you know is like really struggling and who you care

about but also not wanting to be like the point of contention? of like what they're going through. So do you feel like it's bringing you down to talk to her? Do you just feel like it's, um, it's hard on her when with your attitude and how do I feel? I mean, I think the way that it's presented sometimes is in like a group setting, which I think is always not nice. Um, so this most recent time, it was like a group of girls and I was like, oh, we're doing this. Okay.

And so I was like, are we talking to me or just everyone as a group? But it was really directed to like, it was for everyone to be like, oh, of course, like, we're here for you. We totally understand. And I, you know, was there for her. But then, like, I got home and I was like, wait, that was kind of mean. So I would say it's a little bit of both. Like, I feel sad for her that she's going through this. But I also feel sad that, like, things are, that's being said too. So I'm a big fan of sort of radical honesty. Like, I think that our friends can handle a lot more than we give them credit for. And I think often we're want to have those conversations about our friends to other friends because we're nervous about having them

with them. And I think it would be really interesting if you went to your friend, but you came from like a very vulnerable and open place and you said not like you shouldn't be saying these things, but this is how I'm feeling when you're saying these things. And I want to know what's going on with you. Like, why are you feeling this way about yourself? And I think that the more we can come from a place of like real vulnerability where we like tap into like this might have been. even affected you because you're thinking different things about yourself. And this is something you're really struggling with and you're like barely keeping it above a certain level at some point. I think the more we can come from a place of real vulnerability, our friends will show up with

that same vulnerability. And that's sort of what friendship is about to me. I think that was beautifully said, first of all. And I also agree. I'm somebody that hates confrontation so much. So I relate to this conundrum on a very deep level. But I also. also think what you said about our friends being able to handle more than we give them credit for. The truth is, is most times in life, I think if there is a gap in communication, people just nine times out of 10, they don't know that you're upset. And I try to now treat my friendships the way I treat my relationship with my husband because I don't have any fear in that relationship. So if he says something that upsets me, I'm like, okay, no. you know, and I didn't used to feel that same level of comfort with my friends, but now I feel a little bit more comfortable being like, hey, that kind of upset me and like, let's talk about this. And usually it's a three minute conversation and they're like, oh my God, I didn't know you were upset. And I really do think a lot of times when people don't know you're upset, they can't fix it. So you have to give her the opportunity to step up and be like, I'm so sorry. I'm dealing with a lot. I didn't mean to hear your feelings. And we can hash this out. And then both people walk away feeling,

pounds lighter. And it can bring your friendship like closer, ultimately. I think it's this. I think every sort of misstep is an opportunity to build a stronger relationship. And if you don't take that moment, you're missing that opportunity. And I think also if you're looking for a way to help her, because it sounds like you also want to help her, not only confront her, I don't even know if this is logistically possible, but you've talked about how therapy is really helping, maybe offer to have her come into a

therapy session with you and be like, because I can understand when you tell someone, especially a close friend, it's just so hard for them to accept what you're saying. But sometimes if it comes from someone totally subjective, it's totally different. So maybe try to work that in some way. Do you have anybody else? Questions? Questions? Question on like cooking. How much do you see the act of cooking as a way to create quality time with your partner versus

the act of like eating after? is it mostly you doing the cooking or is it a 50-50 split? How do you guys navigate, like improving that relationship? So all of the recipes and the healthier together cookbook include instructions for you cooking and what your partner can do at the same time, which is really important to me. I think it can go a number of ways. I love cooking with my husband and I love to make it sort of a to-do. Like I have the fancy food section in the book, which is when you want to crack open

a bottle of wine and make it sort of a night. But I think that if you expect that all the time, you're setting yourself up for disappointment and you're setting your relationship up for disappointment. So I also think there's something really lovely about the caretaking element of being like, I'm going to make dinner tonight, even if it's really fast and it's not a big thing, you're still nourishing somebody and you're taking that time to feed both of you. And I think that's really, really lovely. I'm also very jealous of the relationships where there's like one person who cooks and then the other person does all the dishes because my husband also really likes to cook. So I can't ever just be like, well, I made a mess in the kitchen,

but you got to eat. So do the dishes now. But I think as long as both, I like both. I also think that the eating part, we're so keen these days to just take our food and go sit on the couch and watch TV while we eat it. And again, going back to the previous thing of if you did nothing else but just eat while you ate, it would be taking this huge step for your health. So I think the nights where my husband, and we still do that. We've been very into Schitts Creek recently. And so we've been watching our fair share of TV while we eat. But on the nights where we don't and where we sit down at our table, not our coffee table,

and we have a conversation. And my therapist says the best way to start a conversation is you don't say, how was your day, but you ask something specific. You say, what was the most exciting part of your day or what was something that surprised you today? And so we've been doing that. And it's done wonders for our relationship. So, Logan, my husband does not cook at all. And does he do the dishes?

He does do all the dishes. Except when I'm writing a cookbook, because I feel like that's the equivalent of, like, him coming home to five hours of dishes and then being served like a small bowl of soup. I'm like, now to work. But he's in general, yes, he does the dishes if I'm only making one meal. But I think for me, actually, I didn't say this in the wellness part, but like, I love to cook dinner. So for me, it's a privilege. For him, it's a, it's a chore. And so it really works with my lifestyle to take, you know, and I don't make super elaborate meals during the week. So take 30 minutes to just cook and listen to music or a podcast. And he gets home late. And I usually don't stop working until late. So we eat late. like 8.30. And if I'm cooking something else, sometimes I can like double task on the wellness

and I'll put something in the oven and then take a bath. But it really works well in that when he does come home or if I cook on the weekends, he sits at the island and like hangs out with me while I cook and, you know, we'll have a cocktail or whatever. And so it's just a time to hang out. And it's the same at night. And we actually don't eat in front of the TV unless it's. It's like a weekend. But we sit like at the kitchen island and just eat. It's not fancy. I mean, it's very low key.

Don't even put place mats down. But it's just like a nice time to, that's where we do our talking. Like you guys talk on the couch or, you know, play games or whatever. It's like we do our daily debrief over dinner and then we'll watch TV or read or whatever it is. But yeah. And I think that that's something that I always. encourage people too. I'm like, if your husband likes to cook and you don't like to cook, that's totally fine. But if you can use it as a way to spend time together or even get each

other involved in planning, it's like I know a lot of people who, you know, one of them will pick out the recipes for the week and the other person will cook or do the grocery shopping or do the or do the cleaning or, you know, be in charge of entertainment while the other one cooks. You know, I do think there are other ways to make the cooking process a joint activity without both people actually having to wield a knife. Yeah, I fall into the serena category where my husband doesn't cook at all. I once asked him to turn the heat down to a simmer, and I came to an overflowing pot because he didn't know that down was low to a simmer and that up is hot.

So that's how bad he is. So I fall into that category, and he does do the dishes. But again, it's a little different now because I cook earlier because I eat with my son. I ate a little portion with my son and then I save it the rest for when my husband gets home. But I think that I enjoy the wine being brought to me while I'm cooking or my husband loves music. So he loves to bring music into things. And I think there's like little ways to add spice there. But I get jealous all the time of these sexy men, Zach, who cook in the kitchen.

It sounds lovely. So maybe one day, Lou will surprise me. I also think that there's something to be said for the healthier together that's not the partner with the cooking. Like I think when you go to a restaurant with a friend, you're going to have a certain type of experience, but it's so fun to have a friend over and to cook with them or to have your mom or dad over and to cook with them. I think that when you're in the kitchen together and you're getting messy and then you've made something that you're proud of, that's the type of experience, again, that builds bonding and builds community. And I think that's really special. I love that

cooking classes also. Oh my God. I love cooking classes. With my husband who doesn't know how to cook, it's really, I feel like he's empowered and it's just cool. You're making something you don't even expect to make. That's a great day night activity if you want to get. Or just like a friend.

Yeah. Okay. Sorry that that cut off so abruptly. They wanted me to have time to sign all the books before the events be shut down and all of that. So we just had to like stop the questions really quickly. But if you guys love the episode, you can find Allie at Inspiralized on Instagram and Spiralize.com on the interwebs.

You can find Serena at Domesticate-me.com on the interwebs and at Serena G. Wolf on Instagram. And of course, you can find me at Liz Moody. I always love, love, love to hear what you guys think of these episodes. And please, if you like the episode, give it a rating on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcast. I know there's been a few more of those going up recently as you guys are finding it and loving it.

And I so appreciate it. I read all of them. I honestly, I read them and I sit there and cry because I'm very easy to cry. and they make me feel so good, but they also, in addition to making me feel really good, help other people find the podcast so that we can all get healthier together. That's all for today. I love you guys. Have a great one. When you think about strength and resilience, like your ability to feel energized, to recover well, to stay strong as you get older, what do you think that actually comes from?

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