The Liz Moody Podcast - Shut The Kale Up’s Jeannette Ogden — Real Talk On Relationships, Money, Addiction, Eating Disorders, and What Goes On Behind The ‘Gram

Episode Date: February 20, 2019

Jeannette Ogden (@shutthekaleup) is beloved by hundreds of thousands of people on Instagram, where she shares her life as a mom, wife, and generally bad ass woman of wellness. In this episode, we talk about how Jeannette became the inspirational person that she is now, starting from what she was like as a kid and in high school. We get into how her mother’s alcoholism shaped the way she looked at the world, why she dropped out of college, and how her views on money have influenced her decisions. We also get into the love stuff—her and her husband, AJ, are the definition of #couplegoals, but in this episode, we get into some of the tougher stuff that goes on in relationships, and how they work through those moments successfully. We talk about her eating disorder, AJ’s impact on her relationship with food, and how she views food and wellness now. Finally, we get into what being an influencer is actually like—including the things you don’t see, behind the scenes. Jeannette is truly a what-you-see is what-you-get person; she’s one of the loveliest, most radiant, most authentic humans I’ve had the pleasure of sitting down with, and I think, listening to this episode, you’ll feel that warmth. Enjoy! This podcast is brought to you by Siete Foods, one of my favorite brands in the country today. They make better-for-you Mexican American food, including drool-worthy grain free chips, grain free tortillas, cashew queso, and hot sauces. I literally cook with their products daily—the cassava grain free tortillas are my absolute favorites; they have a great chew and don’t break apart when you roll or fold them. I also LOVE the Habanero Hot Sauce, which isn’t too spicy but packs in a robust flavor that elevates whatever dish you use it on. You can find Siete products in stores around the country, or you can order them online at sietefoods.com using the code LIZ for an extra 10% off. Come tell me what you think on Instagram (@lizmoody)—I’m so excited for you to fall in love with the brand like I have! Healthier Together cover art by Zack. Healthier Together music by Alex Ruimy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Healthier Together podcast. I am your host, Liz Moody. I'm a writer. I'm a food person. I'm a cookbook author. My latest cookbook, which is also called Healthier Together, is coming out on April 9th. And I actually just revealed the entire cookbook to you guys on Instagram this past week, which was incredible. I posted like a video flipping through all the pages of the book because I got the actual hard copy in my hand.

And it is so, so cool. I cannot tell you. after working on a project for more than two years to get to finally launch it out into the world and hear real people that you respect and you value the opinion of actually react to it. So many of you guys pre-ordered it and said amazing comments. We actually hit number one in our section on Amazon, which was unbelievable. And I can't wait to see all of you guys make the recipes. So I'm just bursting with gratitude about all of that right now.

I have a big huge smile on my face as I record this. The Healthier Together podcast is, I call it like the I'll have what she's having podcast or he's having. I think I haven't had a man on the podcast yet, but I have a few that I would love to get on here. But essentially, it's extraordinary people who are living extraordinary lives. And I try to get to the bottom of what's made it possible for them to live those types of lives. So whether that's overcoming a health challenge or solving a relationship issue or nailing their career and kind of becoming a rock star in that way, or self-actualizing and really

getting to know the person that they are. Any of those things, I think, contribute to us living our best lives. And this is the podcast where I try to uncover all of that. So today in the spotlight, we have the lovely Jeanette Ogden, who you might know is shut the kale up. She is one of my favorite, favorite, favorite people to follow on Instagram. I've been following her for years. And I have to tell you through my job, I meet a lot, a lot of people who are sort of Instagram famous or famous in TV or movies or any of that. And then you meet them in real life and it's kind of disappointing because you realize how much of the person that you thought you knew is fake. You know, they're the food, Instagram people who are throwing away their food after they make it.

There's the people who seem so nice and so loving and attentive and all of that in interviews and on their Instagram stories, and then you meet them in life, and they're kind of not nice. They're kind of the opposite of nice. And Jeanette is the opposite of that. She is one of the nicest, most authentic, loving, glowing, radiant people that I've ever met in real life.

She is exactly how she appears to be on Instagram. I don't think I've ever said this about anybody else, but I think her Instagram is like a hundred percent authentic. I think it is exactly who she is. And she does an incredible job of capturing her magic, I guess, and sharing it with everybody out there in the internet world. So we sat down in her lovely light and plant-filled house in Southern California. And we had a girl-talkie kind of conversation.

We got into how she was in high school. we talk about kind of the person that she was growing up and what she dreamed of being when she grew up. And we also talk about some of the stuff that impacted her high school self and her sense of self in high school. Like her mother's struggle with alcoholism throughout her high school years. She also was in a couple of abusive relationships that impacted her thoughts on relationships in general. And then finally, she met AJ, who is her lovely husband and the father of her beautiful, beautiful son, Elliot. and her soon to become a new little baby, who I think were all so excited to me. We talk about how her and AJ met, their love story.

We talk about how they said, I love you to each other, which is a story that I was honestly kind of shocked by. It happened in a very different way than I expected, but a very Jeanette way. So I think that was very cool to see. And we talk about how they make that their relationship work now. They work together, their business partners, and it's really tricky. I've worked with Zach, my husband before, and I think it's really hard to draw the line between colleagues and friends, best friends, and partners in a romantic relationship way. And her and AJ have had to navigate that.

And she talks about how they navigate different hurdles and challenges in their relationship and the not so good stuff that you might not see on Instagram, although she's pretty open on Instagram. But the not so good stuff and how they overcome that and make their relationship even stronger as a result. We talk about how she stays calm and grounded. We talk about the approach to food she has. I don't know if you're aware of this, but she's been pretty open about having struggled with an eating disorder in the past. And we get into the story of how she sort of started having disordered eating, where she hit rock bottom, how she knew she was at rock bottom,

which is a pretty scary story. And then how she changed her thoughts on food from there. We talk about also her brand, shut the kill up, which has become an Instagram juggernaut. She's one of the most successful, inspirational wellness brands, and she's done it in a very unique way. So I always, I kind of hate when you ask people, you know, realistically, like, how did you build your brand or how did you find success in your career?

How did you get your cookbook deal? And they're just like, oh, you know, like, if you can dream it, you can achieve it. And she did not do that. And we got some really good salient, like, pragmatic, tangible advice out of her. which I think is great. I think we all want like, okay, that's great. But like, tell me what specific app of my phone or like, how many times a day do you post and all of that?

So I always try to get that out of all my guests. And Jeanette did not disappoint in that capacity. And we talk a little bit about like the nitty gritty of working with brands and what being an influencer or whatever. It's such a terrible world. We need, if anybody wants to come up with a new word for influencer, please, please, please do it. Everybody hates the word.

Come tell me on Instagram. at Liz Moody, just be like, I got it. We're going to call you like, I don't know, potatoes, not potato. Like something good. Come up with a better word for influencer and come tell me what it is. But we talk about what that actually entails and what her day to day looks like. And then we answer a bunch of your guys as questions. When I was going to interview her, I posted on my Instagram, you know, to find out

what you guys wanted to know. And we managed to ask her a ton of those questions. As always with these episodes, if you want to be part of the question asking process, please come hang out with me on Instagram at Liz Moody. I will post when I'm going to go interview somebody and you can send me all your questions and I'll get the dirt for all of you guys. Yeah, so that's all I have for now. Let's get into the episode.

I really hope you guys like it. As always, if you do like it, please share it with your friend, share it with everybody else that you love, share it with strangers on the street who you feel like would benefit from Jeanette's wisdom and knowledge. And, you know, I know everybody says this, but if you could leave a review on iTunes, subscribe, all that kind of stuff. It's important because it helps other people find the podcast. PSA over. All right.

I love you guys. I hope you enjoy this episode. All right. Hi, Jeanette. Hi. I'm sitting here in Jeanette's beautiful, beautiful house. It is like, you're so sweet. It's how you would picture it.

I feel like it's like all white and airy. There's like plants everywhere. There's so much sunlight. I've been in New York City where it's 12 degrees. I can't believe that. This much sunlight is magical. So thank you so much for having me here. Oh my gosh.

Thank you for coming. And her kid in real life, if anybody is wondering, is like every bit as cute as you want him to be. He's basically perfect. So, okay, I want to start at the very beginning. Can you take me back to your childhood and what you were like when you were growing up? I was the biggest tomboy you could ever think of. I would wear this like little striped blue and white t-shirt with,

denim jeans and some random sneakers. And I would have my hair up in a ponytail and I would play with all the boys. So I grew up with boy cousins, my brothers. How many brothers do you have? I have two brothers. Okay. They're younger. No sisters, no.

And I have one girl cousin. Okay. From my dad's side, which we hung out with them a lot more than my mom's side. My mom's side, it's a zoo. I mean, my mom comes from 15 brothers and sisters. So you can only imagine. And we're Mexican. So I have a lot of cousins.

Yeah. Mexican on both sides. So like 100% Mexican born here. Yeah. First language was Spanish. Like I can write it. I can speak it. Yeah.

That's, do you feel like you're a different person in Spanish than you are in English? No, I'm exactly the same. Interesting. Because I have friends who are bilingual and they say that they feel like they can express themselves different just because like the words, are different and the way you put together language is different.

Totally. So you almost just end up having slightly different version of your personality. I can see that. I feel like I can express myself more speaking English just because I forgot, you know, some words here and there. But for the most part, like I can legit go to Mexico and be fluent. That's amazing. Yeah.

It's really awesome. Are you guys raising Elliot speaking? 100%. Yeah. Yeah. He can understand everything. He speaks. he speaks it a little bit.

I feel like he used to speak it before, like a little bit more. But now it's just like a lot more English, which I knew would happen, but I'm trying my best. I know they say that kids like are only, I've read in the nature versus nurture stuff that it's nature versus nurture, but it's nature versus the nurture outside of the house. Yeah. Even more so like it's going to school and your friends and how much they all influence you and all that. I know. Just probably hard as a mom because you're like, I've done everything I can. I know. I know.

This perfect little magic bubble. I'm still like practicing with him and speaking to him in Spanish and English and hoping that he sticks with it. Yeah. So, okay. And like you're a tomboy's a kid. And then in like middle school, high school, did you have like a click group or were you like a cool girl or were you like a sporty girl?

So I, you are Barbie. What would you have been? Oh my gosh. Definitely sport, sporty girl. Okay. But I did get into a phase where I was like. hanging out with the cool kids in high school.

And I became very girly. Like I tapped into my feminine side. Yeah. And I had really long hair, really thin eyebrows. I'd always wear my combers. And like with some cute dresses and stuff. Like kind of like like business up top, party on the bottom type thing. But I always felt like I didn't fit in.

I don't know why. I think it was because I was always trying to please everyone and I couldn't because we didn't have a lot of money and we couldn't buy the cool stuff or like go to the cool places. Like my mom had me on a tight leash. So I couldn't go to the dances a lot of the times. Because she was strict or because you guys didn't feel like you could afford it? Both. Okay. But she was very strict.

And in high school it kind of changed because that's when she became an addict. or it was like full blown and you know we could basically do whatever we wanted but i tried my best to kind of like respect that that she wouldn't have wanted me to do that if she was awake um so i kind of didn't do a lot a whole lot but i would definitely be outside playing with the boys soccer football whatever and what was she addicted to she was an alcoholic okay and how did that impact your high school Oh, man. I don't like to blame anyone for anything, but it was different because that's kind of when I needed my mom, you know, growing up as a girl.

Right. Hormones. Everything's changing. I had a boyfriend who was not so nice. We had a very abusive relationship verbally, physically. And I was like cheated a ton on a ton, and it was just not good. and having like my mom not be there or like just have someone to like talk to. I didn't have that.

So it did mess with me a little bit. And when did she better now? She's sober. Yeah. When did that all happen? It was six years ago now. Oh, wow. Yeah.

So she's my best friend now. Oh, wow. So you guys have been able to completely 180. And did you have to get through any sort of feelings of like? guilt or blame or any of that type of stuff? Yeah, I feel like there was a time where I had to stop talking to her and I had to work on myself before I could forgive and before I could do all of that. And seeing her as a changed woman for months and her wanting to talk to me,

like her not, like being very persistent and not letting go of like, okay, fine, you don't want to talk to me, fine, you know? Like she was very loving. She was very kind. And I just saw like the biggest difference in her. So slowly but surely I started talking to her. And I forgave her. I don't ever bring it up.

Like I mean, we talk about the past, but I don't ever blame her for anything. She and I are both very open about all the things. Because we feel like if we talk about it, we normalize it because it happens. so much. We just don't hear about it because everyone's ashamed of it because no one wants to talk about the truth. Everyone's just like, oh, we're great, you know, but in reality, there's just so much shit going on inside. And it's just, it's awful to live that way. I've learned that the

hard way. I was quiet for very many years. And like, after I turned 25, I was like, you know what? No, I'm not going to stay silent. Like, this is what happened. And now, like, look at me. There's so much change. I feel great. I have a family now. I don't want to live in lies or like pretend like nothing happened. Wait, so what happened when you turned 25? Like, was it just like literally you woke up one day? I feel like, yeah. I feel like something changed and well, it might have been because like I met AJ and we fell in love and, you know, he was my best friend, all that good stuff. And It just made me realize that, like, love does exist. Were your parents in love through all of this?

No, they weren't. No. Were they together? Yeah, they're still together. They're still together. Yeah. But I never really saw them hold hands, kiss, talk nicely to each other often.

You know, there was just, it was very broken. And I grew up thinking that that was normal. Because I didn't know any better up until I would go hang out with other friends and like see that their families were together and in the same car. Like their dads were home. My dad was always working to provide, which I respect that and honor that. But he was just never home, which kind of sucked. I never had a relationship with him.

I kind of do now and I blame it on Elliot. He comes around and he makes it a point to visit his grandson, which I am so grateful for. Grandparents and their grandkids, man. I know. It changes them. It really does. It's a thing. So I'm very grateful that I get to have them now, you know?

It's really special. So did that, did your mom's alcoholism impact your relationship with alcohol? Did you always sort of, did you ever drink a lot or not drink or have like a party phase or anything like that? I had a party phase, which, I mean, it wasn't like a crazy part. party phase. I would go to parties and hang out and I would like try to meet guys or, you know, try to go out and dance and have a good time. But I was always very kind of like, I wasn't very confident. So I would always stand in the corner and not want to talk to anyone, but I would always

tell my friends, okay, tonight I'm going to dance with this random guy. And I know for sure I'm going to have like, I'm going to get someone's number, you know, type thing. But I would, that would never happen. any guy who would approach me, I would be like, sorry, I'm taken or, you know, lie. Why? You know, like I, I wish I could have experienced something like that, but I didn't. So was AJ your first, like, really significant boyfriend? No. No. I had one in high school, the most awful relationship, but it helped me find, you know, the second one. And then AJ, AJ was my third boyfriend. And how do you, if you didn't have, like, I have no. my parents are divorced, and neither of them were really in happy relationships after their divorce.

And I think I have an uncle and an aunt who are like my closest thing to a healthy, like, happy relationship that I have witnessed growing up. And I remember the first time I went hung out at Zach's house, my husband, and his dad, like, pulled his mom's feet onto his lap or something really small like that. And I was like, what? Like, it was just such this, like, intimate level of touching and I had never seen that type of like casual lovingness in a couple. And I still feel like I'm a disadvantage because I'm having to learn all those things that so many people do so naturally. Right. How do you, you feel like I feel like you appear to be an incredibly loving person and your relationship with AJ appears to be incredibly loving. Like how did you

learn that? So I don't know. I can't give you like this. answer. I feel like it just, it just happened so naturally. I mean, our first day, we hung out for like seven hours, just talking about our lives and music and how music connected us and how we were able to get through with music. And it was so crazy cool and fun. And we like grabbed burgers and onion rings at like 12 at night and it was just so fun and casual we literally instantly clicked and after that I feel like I was able to express love and kindness and trust with another person and before that you don't before would you be like touchy-feely would you no none of that before even now I mean I know that on Instagram it seems one way but like when we're in public I'm not kissing his neck

or, you know, like, making out with him. No, we hold hands and we hug each other and we definitely show affection, but I'm not that person that's like, hey, you know. Are you good at articulating affection in love? I am. Do you know what your love language is? Yes, my love language is if I just want to spend time. The quality time one.

Quality time. And then do you know what A.J. says? Yes. Physical affection? It's physical. Yeah. I know. I know.

And I think the second one is the most interesting for guys because it's always physical affection is the first one. Do you know what a second one is? Like the one that's right after? Yeah, I think, well, and I honestly think it was because when we were dating, I would always surprise them with little things. Is he gift giving? He's, yeah, definitely, which is very sweet. But now that we both have the same account, it's our money, I'm like, well, you're going to find out what I bought you because you can see it on the bank statement. But the point of gift giving, I feel like I'm perpetually having to defend gift giving as a love language

because it sounds truly like the worst one. People are like, oh my gosh, you're so shallow. You're so spoiled. But the point of it is, I think, to feel so seen and known that somebody knows exactly what to get you. Or like, for me, I don't want, like, a diamond. I want Zach to, like, go to the grocery store and see my favorite kombucha flavor and bring it home for me. That's very sweet. You know?

And I think that's what gift giving is about being like, oh, they, get you. And you can do that even if you share mine. Totally. We, I mean, we do that with cards. I mean, like there's so many times where I get home and he has a little card for me and it's super cute and special. Or yeah, like if he stops by a mother's market or some market and he gets my favorite chips or little things like that make me feel very special. And I do that often with him. And I can totally see a difference in his day where he's like, you thought about me? That's so sweet. I'm like, of course, you're my husband. It's crazy how the little things that make such a huge difference.

It makes a huge difference. So when you were, you went to college briefly, right? Yeah, and then you dropped out. I did. Three months. I didn't realize this is that brief. Oh, yeah, it was very brief. And you dropped out to be a yoga teacher?

Yeah. And were you nervous about like, I don't know. We live in a society where you're told so much like you need to go to college, you need to go to college. I was terrified. Yeah. I was terrified. But so straight at a high school. I got into debt.

I worked in retail at Barney's, New York, very expensive retail store. I worked there for eight years. At the very end of that, I was 23 and I was an assistant store manager, which was great. And I was making good money at Barney's, you know, like not great,

but like good money for my age. And I didn't think I needed to go to school. I mean, I got a, I was a cashier, a denim specialist, a men specialist, and then an assistant store manager, I kept moving up with a company that allowed me without a degree or anything. And I wanted to get into fashion.

Like fashion design or buying? I wanted to get into buying or just going to the Beverly Hill store where people make a lot of money there. But I got laid off because they closed that store down at the one that I was working at. And at the time, I was getting married to AJ. So this was June, where I got laid off.

And I was getting married in November. And how old were you? I was 25. Okay. About to be 26. No, I was 24, about to be 25. I don't even, yeah, I don't even know. But I got a good severance track.

and I was able to live off of that. Well, we were for a solid like four months. And I was able to pay all of my debt off, which was awesome. Our goal was to pay all of our debt before we got married. So that way we don't have anything, any bills or anything. They have three birds. Yeah, exactly. So I did that.

And then I was going to school at the time. But it was just putting me into so much debt again that I was just, just like, I can't do this. I need to do something like quick, you know. And yoga was something that I really loved. And I always told myself, I'm going to figure it out. Whatever it is, I'm going to figure it out. I always had like the drive to work and to push. So when I got certified, I took on as many classes as I could. And I was teaching a ton. I became a demo girl for harmless harvest and got into like the health and wellness world and I quickly fell in love because at that time I had found balance and moderation and all things, all aspects of my life that I was able to to think like,

okay, now that I don't have an eating disorder or like thoughts or anything that like held me back, I can actually do this and not say, oh yeah, I'm healthy, but I have an eating disorder. So I moved forward with it. But then I had to quit because I got pregnant with Elliot super fast. You guys trying? We weren't. Okay. We were not.

I mean, we weren't like, we were married. We could do whatever the hell we want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it hit us with like, oh, hey, you're pregnant. And how old were you then? I was 25. Yeah, I was still like, I don't remember how old I was when I got. I just know we've been married for four years.

So, yeah, I was probably 26. Okay. And yeah, it just happens so fast. Did you, do you have a lot of friends who also, because 24, 25 is still pretty young to get married in, particularly in California and this time in the world. Do you have a lot of friends who are also getting married and having babies quite young? See, I grew up in, I grew up with a lot of Mexican friends. So all of my friends already had kids. Most of my friends did. my best friends, which are four girls that we've been best friends since we were in junior high, they didn't, but they always had a significant other. And we all wanted to have kids very soon, but it just didn't happen.

Obviously for me, all of my family members were like, what's going on with you? Are you not going to get married? Because I was already 25 or, okay, so I got married at 25. We're going to like do a timeline at the head. end of the episode. I can't ever draw it out. The timelines. We'll put it on Instagram.

Right, right. I'll have to do a whole, a whole blog post. But at like 25, your family thought you were old for not being married. Oh, yeah. As opposed to like my family, I think, would have thought, I started that when Zach, when I was like maybe 27, 28 and Zach hadn't proposed yet,

I was like, what are you doing? And he was like, we're so young. Like, you're crazy. Like, why would we get engaged and married so young, you know? Yeah. So that's, is that cultural? Is that like, I think so. Okay.

Yeah. And the having babies thing, were you the first person in your friend group to have? I was. Yeah. And were you nervous about that? Like that your life would sort of change significantly? Um, yes, only because you wanted to travel, but no, because I always wanted to be a mom. Like, I knew from when I was like six, seven years old, I can remember I, I want kids.

And did you? want. I think that was going to, like you said before, that you love to work really hard and you always knew things were going to work out. But was your definition of like a successful life always going to be motherhood and revolving around sort of family life? Or did you ever have ambitions career wise? Yeah.

And stuff like that. No, I thought in my mind, success and what I really wanted to do was in family, like motherhood, family, me being at home and cooking. cleaning, like doing all that stuff. I grew up as my mom was that for us. And my dad worked his ass off to be able to like have my mom stay home with us and be a mom, a stay at home mom. And that's what I wanted to do.

But I wanted to do it the right way, whatever that meant. Just not, not drinking, not having any addictions and just being there for my babies. Right. But that's, yeah. And did AJ have? A career? Does he work with you now? Yes.

Okay. And did he have a career before? He did shut the kill up? Yeah. He's always played in music. He's always saying written music, plays guitar, plays keys. He's very talented. Yeah, he's very talented.

That's what kind of drew me in. That's what drew me in, the music stuff. Wait, yeah. So let's talk about the night that you guys met. So was it a show or what was the deal? So I met. Yeah, I met him at like a church that we used. to go to and he used to lead worship there.

And we just, I mean, I never really thought he was cute, to be honest. I just thought like, wow, he's a great singer and he's very talented. He's very cute. Whatever, you know? Yeah. I know he's very handsome. And then he kind of grew on to me. I was like, whoa, who is this guy?

Maybe it's because I saw him up close. I don't know what changed. But I thought, damn, this guy is sexy as hell. And I introduced myself. Like I literally made all of the moves in our relationship. Had he noticed you before then? He says he always did because I was different. That's what he says.

But I'm like, I was not different. I looked like everyone else. But I just, he saw like my determination and like. Which is interesting though, because you went from apparently being this kind of shy girl in the corner. who was lying to boys at parties to going up to AJ and saying, like, I'm Jeanette, I want to meet you. Yeah. No, I'm telling you, things changed. Like, it just, something gave me confidence to go out to him and talk to him and just introduce myself. And yeah, I felt super dumb, like going up to him and be like, hey, my name's Jeanette. Nice to meet you. You know. What did he say? He was like, hey, I'm AJ. Nice to meet you. Yeah,

I've seen you around, you know, like small talk. Yeah. But after I left, I was like, gosh, I totally blew it. I know he's not going to talk to me ever again. But I didn't care at that point. I was just like, you know what? I can't live my life in fear or not be able to be myself or go up to anyone and talk to them. Like, that's their problem if they think I'm weird or whatever because I'm just living life. And yeah, shortly after, like, I slid into his Facebook DMs. Oh my gosh, you're making all the moves. Oh, yeah. Wow. And I was like, hey, we should hang. And he's like, let's do it. And shortly after we hung out, and it was the best night. And then after that, he made all, well, not all the moves, but, you know, he asked me out again.

And we were best friends. We really were. And I mean, we still are. But we became very, very good friends. And then one day I told him I loved him. And then nine months later, he told me, hey, I love you too. Do you want to get married this year? And I was like, yeah, let's do it.

Wait, he didn't tell you he loved you until nine months after you told me. Yeah, I told him in April. He told me, uh, I'm sorry, did that not make you go crazy? I know, I know. It's weird. It didn't. It did not. I feel like I would have had like 17.

Let's figure out where this relationship is at conversations. So my friends told me, you need to let that shit go. Like, that's not cool. I can't believe he didn't say anything. I did have one friend that was like, you did the right. thing. You did, you totally did for putting yourself out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I knew that he was a special person. I knew that like I loved him right away. And we both felt very comfortable around each other. And again, best friends, you know. So it felt right for me to express my feelings without needing a response

back. I didn't want any, like I don't want anyone to tell me, I love you back just because I tell them, you know, if they don't feel that way, that's okay. I knew he felt the same way, but we both had gotten out of really awful relationships. So I knew that all he needed was time because he still showed that he loved me. Like when they say, you know, saying something and doing something are totally different things. Like he was doing it. He was the one that was like really showing expressing that. I was just saying it and doing it.

That was just the difference. Right. And the saying is almost like the. frosting on top of the cake. Right. The cake is there. Exactly. I love. I love.

That's probably a bad analogy. Then you guys got married and you very quickly. Was the wedding magical? It was. You know, it wasn't like, we didn't want a wedding. We wanted to elope and we wanted to travel because we knew that the ceremony was for his parents. Oh my gosh. I can't believe I said that.

I hope my mother-in-law is listening to this. Yeah. I grew up with no money. And I didn't think that we could afford this wedding without being in debt again. It sounds like you're a nemesis. Right. We don't know. No debt.

No paying for something for one night that could cost $20,000 minimum. Yeah. That's insane. That's insane. I grew up just having the bare minimum and I didn't want to spend that money and he was the opposite. And was he raised with more means? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I had to like, I had to bring him down because I was just like, dude, you're not, no, this is insane. Right. And his family was like, well, we'll pay for it. You know, and I'm not that person that wants very much. So I said, no, we don't need anything. Like, we love each other. can literally you can give me a $50 ring and I'll be stoked.

What ring did he give you? He actually, he custom made this one. His cousin's a jeweler. That's so pretty. And he, yeah, I love it. I really do. I love it. But it wasn't, but I told him, please don't go overboard.

What I want is you, not a ring. Like, it doesn't matter to me. And we spent $5,000. on a wedding. I feel like you can't even get booze for that much money. We didn't have any alcohol. Okay. What we did have was box pizzas.

We went to Trader Joe's and got the olive oil sea salt popcorn. Oh, yum. We got some sidecard donuts and we had salads that we made from home. And we rented this space in L.A. That was really affordable. It was like $1,500 in Silver Lake on a Thursday. That'll do it. It was like, oh, it was like 70% off because it was on a weekday.

Nobody gets married on it. Which is interesting because the only, like, people, you kind of get married the day on Saturday because that's like what everybody else does. Totally. And that's kind of the only reason. I know. Yeah. So for us, it wasn't like, it was magical because we got married, you know, and we set

our vows and all of our closest friends were there. There was only like 45 people. Did you write your own vows? I did. Yeah. Do you remember any of them? I still have them. in my notes. Yeah. I wrote it in my phone and my notes and I, yeah. Do you guys check in with them ever to

like make sure that you're adhering to the things that you promised each other when you got married? No, but I feel like we check in with each other very frequently to the point where we're just like, hey, how could we better ourselves like as individuals to make our relationship better, to make parenting better to make us like being partners, like work partners better because it can be a lot. Like we both work here at home. He basically like does all of my shut the kale up, back end stuff. And it gets difficult because I want to, I work one way and he works another way. What way do you work? Spontaneously. I write random stuff that pops into my head on the couch or at night. And, you know, like I post whenever I want to post.

I do things whenever I want to. So when we have like new partnerships or whatever and he brings them to my attention and he's like, okay, well, the deadlines today, you know, or in a week. And then he'll be like deadlines in three days. And I'm like, yes, yes, yes, I got it. But for me, being the person that I am, I shut the kill up, I like to do things very last minute. Right. I'm feeling that day, I can express it and not have written it a month before and then be like, okay, you guys, here you go.

Because then it just doesn't feel real to me. I need you guys to hear my story the day that it's happening or, you know, if I'm opening up about my disordered eating or whatever, then I obviously write it beforehand, but I post whenever I feel like it. Yeah. And whenever I want to talk about it. And he wants to be more regimented. Like have a schedule and do the things right.

And I'm just like, no. And that's where we kind of clash. And hey, I get it. We've finally found a happy medium, but he's still like, sometimes he needs to hound my ass to get to get working. And I'm like, I'm going to go to the park and play with Elliot. Bye. Because I'm a full-time mom too.

It's a lot. It's a lot. I don't have a nanny. My mom watches them when we travel or like once or twice a week for like a couple hours. But we don't get that much help. So I want to come back to the brand and I want to come back to the disordered eating, but I want to talk about you and AJ for a second because you guys are, I think, very much a couple's goals situation. I think people see you guys on Instagram and myself included and are like, oh my gosh, I want what they're having.

He looks so attentive and so loving. You look so attentive and so loving. And then you opened up recently about calling him an asshole, which I thought was interesting. It happened on those stairs. those very stairs. They look so innocuous. And I really, I think it's really interesting when people who so many people look up to talk about how they work through the more difficult parts of their relationship and that it's not

always just like, you come in and you're like, oh my God, I love you so much. So could you share, yeah, like how growing pains of being in a relationship and how you guys get through those harder parts? Well, marriage is difficult. And I know that, again, things might seem like so great and dandy on Instagram. And to be honest, we have a great relationship. But that's only because of communication. And we both work our asses off to like try to understand, try to communicate and hear

each other out. That's my issue. I don't want to talk about anything when I'm arguing with him. I want to be like, bye and leave because that's what I'm used to seeing. That's kind of how I grew up like, oh, one leaves and the other one stays. then what happens then? They don't talk about it. Yeah. So it builds up, right? And I'm not blaming my childhood for that, but like that's kind of what I've seen. So it's just patterns. It happens without you even trying. And now being in a relationship with him, he's all about, no, let's talk,

unless it's like very heated and he's like, take five minutes, go into the room, breathe. I'm going to do the same. and we're going to get back and we're going to talk about it. Everything. And until we're both like, okay, we've come to a conclusion and then we just, we forget about it. Can you always agree on that conclusion? Or do you sometimes, like sometimes when my husband and I, I literally feel like he's in a different reality than I am. Like he experienced a different situation. And at the end of it, I'm just like, well, if we can't agree on what happened, I don't know where to go from there.

To be honest, we've always been able to fix our issues or like our arguments. We've never had an argument where we're like, nope, I'm on one side, you're on the other. Yeah. Because we're a team. And I think, I think it's because of him. Because if it, I mean, I could be this emotional wreck and be like, oh, I hate this. Or I can't believe you're winning, you know, because for me, it's all about like who wins the relationship or the argument. I think his dad really instilled that in him and his mom.

The idea that there aren't winners or losers? No. Like you guys are a team. You're going to end up sleeping at night together. And you are parents to this little boy or whoever. And you have to like think you have to move forward. And for me, it was so difficult to think that when we first got married and we were first starting to figure out life together because again, I didn't want to talk to him when I was when I was upset. I didn't want to

say, okay, you're right, AJ. Because most of the time it's, it's me, my emotions or me just acting out or my insecurities. Because, you know, we, I still have insecurities. And since I've called him an asshole, my insecurities that have been kind of all over the place because being pregnant and things are changing very, very drastically. What are you into care about? Well, I go to sleep very early now. Like, not, not right now, but when I was first pregnant with this little baby, um, 6 p.m. I was out. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's very early. Oh, yeah. And I was up at like 4 a.m. Interesting. You know. And at night, like, he would put Elliott down. He would clean up the whole house. Like, he was mom and dad, because I couldn't really do much. But I, I,

would wake up in the middle of the night to pee and he wasn't in bed and it was like midnight and I didn't have the energy to walk downstairs to see what he was doing or anything and um for like a week that happened and I was like what are you doing you know like I'm sick I feel awful you've watched me throw up and pee all over myself and I'm a mess I don't shower for like two days because I just don't have the energy. Like, I feel like you think I, I look awful or I smell bad because my hormones. And it's just like, it's life. It's pregnancy, you know? I'm so open about these things. Yeah. I was just like, what are you doing? Like, like, what's going on? And he's like, Jeanette, I fall asleep on the couch. I was watching a movie or I was playing video games this night. And I fell asleep in

the guest bedroom. Like, I'm so sorry. I don't want you to think anything. And, you know, AJ's such a good guy. And I can't blame him for, you know, me going to bed at 6 p.m. And him having to do everything around the house and then him wind down with the things that he loves the most. Music or music movies and playing video games, like road time. Yeah. So I had to like come to a understanding that I was the one going crazy. Not him.

You know, he's. Right. But you were able to communicate through that. Yes. And he, every time I'm off, he's also off, which is really interesting. Because when I open up to him and I'm like, hey, I got to talk to you about something. This is how I'm feeling. He'll be like, Jeanette, I've been feeling the same way.

I feel like we're so disconnected this week. Let's make it better. I'm going to try my best to like get in bed and watch TV in our bedroom. I hate TVs on and in the bedrooms. that's why he comes down here and watches it. But I'm like, yes, you know, if a happy medium is you watching TV upstairs, then I'm okay with that. I just want you next to me because I need you right now, you know?

Yeah. We just try to talk it out. I feel like with communication, like you're able to understand and listen. Because how is he supposed to know what you're feeling if you're not even explaining it to him? And what about people who feel like their partner doesn't want? Because he's so receptive to that. type of communication. Is there a way to make your partner receptive if they're not as receptive? So like me? Like what do you think he did for you that made it work so well? He was very persistent.

Like, no, we're going to talk about this. Like, this is important. If you think our relationship is important, then you're going to sit down and talk to me. Very persistent, very adamant about that. because he knew he knew how important it was for his parents to be like that much into like communicating with each other because they had a lot of issues too they're not together anymore which was kind of weird um because they that's you know how you said that you were you saw your husband's parents like lovey and doing little things that's how I saw his parents so when they got divorced oh it was after you guys were together oh yeah oh wow It was like a year after we got married, we were both like, what?

Yeah. Like, this is crazy. I mean, we saw it coming, kind of, but we didn't know what happened for sure. That's a bold thing to do that much later in life, too. Like, I think at a certain point in life, a lot of times people are like, well, this is just the way it's going to be in inertia sort of powers. Yeah. And I think it's actually so brave sometimes to take a step back from all of that. Totally.

You're listening to the Healthier Together podcast. All right. So we're just going to take a brief break so I can introduce you guys to, honestly, one of my favorite companies in the country. I'm so excited to be working with them. They are Siette foods. They make better for you Mexican-American food. And you've probably already seen them all over my Instagram. I'm completely obsessed with them. They make a few different products. They make grain-free tortilla chips, grain-free tortillas, some of the best hot sauce I have ever had in a cashew-caso dip that every single person who has ever tried it is completely obsessed with it. I don't have time, honestly, to talk about how much I love all of these products, because otherwise

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So definitely go try them. Let me know what you think. It's going to completely change your life, honestly. And again, come talk to me about them, ask me for recipe ideas. I have a million of them at Liz Moody on Instagram. All right. I could go on forever, but let's get back to the podcast. you were raised with a strong sense of faith, right?

No, not so much. It was AJ for sure, 100%. Oh, really? Okay. I was going to ask what role faith played in your relationship and how both what the role of faith and religion and spirituality and all of that plays in both of your lives. We both believe in God and obviously a higher power. I feel like my faith is definitely very strong.

and I have, I pray and, you know, kind of do that. I don't go to church anymore just because I haven't found a community of people that I feel like I can be myself. When, and this is me being very open again, when people say, are you Christian? You know, but I say a bad word here and there or like listen to rap, you know, it makes me very ungodly. And I'm just like, okay, I don't want to. to be, I don't want to be named anything or like put in this category. I'm a good human. I know I am. I do

good deeds. And I don't have to explain that to anyone or tell anyone, hey, I'm donating all of this to this person or to this organization or whatever or help people out. No, why? You know, I know that in my heart. And I'm constantly helping people. And I think that as soon as you drop the Christian word, It's like, would you do this or you do that? Right. So I just didn't want to, I don't like to talk about that personally. But we both believe in Jesus and we both do things that are good for humans overall. Doesn't matter your religion, doesn't matter anything.

Like, we love all people. And do you think having that foundation is helpful for your relationship? Yes, but it's not like. Huge. No. I feel like we've found other things that were just like, this is our foundation. I think trust. Obviously, a higher power, God, but not being like, oh, well, we need to make sure that we follow the rules. Right. You know, we kind of just,

we're good, again, we're good people and we just want to help others. Wasn't that how you started your Instagram as well? Was that like you felt like there was like vegan accounts and paleo accounts and whatever and you were like, I don't want to like call myself one of those things. I'm just totally healthy food yeah and like have a balance of all things and showcase my life and like happiness in such a different way i don't want to be categorized as yeah as gluten-free paleo-vegan so were you you've talked openly about having your eating disorder were you on the other side of that fully when you started shut the kill up oh i was fully recovered fully recovered a hundred percent okay so let's talk briefly about the eating disorder and then we'll get into the

shut the kill-up journey. How, I wanted to ask how old you were, but I'm afraid you won't know how old you were when you had. I started it four years ago. Okay. So 26. It was right when I got married. So, okay.

I got married. When he met you, you were totally like, like, full-blown eating disorder. Okay. Yeah. I was like the skinniest I've ever been in my life. Was it disguised as wellness? Was it sort of orthorexia where you're eating lots of. of smoothies and greens and not much else?

Or was calorie counting or sort of what? It was calorie counting. Yeah. And working out like two hours a day, every day. And not going over a certain amount of calories every day. And did you feel good at the beginning? Were you like, I'm actually finally confident. I feel pretty and all of those things.

I felt awesome in the beginning because I felt like, oh, wow, I'm doing yoga. And then, oh, wow, I'm eating greens and it's making me feel good. And my digestive system's finally working. And I feel like I have a glow, you know. But then I kept wanting more, more, more, more. And I was like, okay, I'm going to up my activity levels to two hours a day. And then I'm going to cut down the last dinner and have breakfast, lunch, a snack. Right. And then that's when I was just like, whoa.

That's such a slippery slope because there's like, some people would be like, oh, she's intermittent and fasting. Like that's a trendy, healthy thing to do now, you know, and I think that's why wellness stuff gets tricky because it can so quickly slide into that. It could turn into something. Yeah. I had no idea. I thought I was healthy. I thought I was like, well, no, I'm eating all the right foods and I'm exercising. It's good for the heart, you know, but I was just taking it to another level. And I had no idea that it. turn that it could turn into a disordered eating. So when did you, was there a point where you felt bad? Or did you always feel great? And then somebody external to you had to say like this isn't good. No, I, there was a turning point.

I think it was when I lost like 30 pounds in like a month and a half. Oh my God. And there was, there was one night when I came back from work because I retail, you're never sitting down. You're on your feet all day. It's nine hour, nine hour days on your feet all damn day, running up and downstairs, going around, finding different sizes for people and talking to people. There was one night where I couldn't open my door, my room door.

And I just sat outside of my room door and I was just like, it was hard to breathe. And I was like, what the hell am I doing to myself? I literally thought that. And it was so hard to explain that to like my brother, my brothers, because they were like, here, are you okay? What's going on? You look super sick. Are you going to throw up?

And I was like, no, I just feel really dizzy. And they're like, did you eat something? Do you want water? And I'd be like, no, no, no, I'm good. And I like ran into my room. I sat on my bed and I like, I thought about it. I was like, is this right? Am I doing it right?

But then I was like, no, I'm. I just need rest. And then I would go back and start doing it again. So it was just like a cycle, you know? And then when I met AJ and he asked me out to go eat and I couldn't find the calories on the menu or like, whoa, you know, I can't have any of this food because it's not in my daily, you know, routine. I started kind of lying and saying, oh, you know, I'm busy or, oh, I can't do this or I can't do

that. And then one day I just finally gave in and I was like, no, I'm going to go. And I went, we went to, um, what's that one place to eat in L.A. Um, I don't remember, but a restaurant. It was a restaurant that was super trendy. Okay. Um, Earth Cafe. Okay. And I got, uh, like a metatrain plate. That's one of the ones that's like, I am grateful and you have to like order that. No, that's cafe gratitude. But I remember going to this restaurant. and I, we were talking and like, I didn't even think about the food in front of me. I was just like so in awe by how our conversation was going and how I was comfortable enough to eat in front of him.

At the time, I wasn't eating in front of anyone. I would lock myself in my room or like if I brought my lunch to work, I would go outside and eat by myself because I didn't want anyone to know what I was eating or anything. Right, right. So it was the first time. time that I was like full on eating in front of someone and conversating and having a good time. And then we went to an event that I got invited to. It was like this fashion event thing.

And then after that he was like, hey, I know a really good spot for ice cream. We should go. And that was when I had ice cream for the first time in like six months. Yeah. And were you nervous to eat it? I was, but I didn't express that. And I didn't freak out. So I grabbed like a one scoop little vanilla ice cream, like super basic and we both enjoyed it so much.

But that triggered me in a weird way where I started to binge after that. Interesting. So it was like calorie counting, not eating enough, exercising a ton to binging. And why do you think that was? Because I got a taste of food. You're just like, this is great? This is awesome. Okay.

Yeah. And were you nervous about how that was going to affect your body or your wellness in some way? I didn't, I didn't think of it and I didn't care because the food tasted so good. But it got to a point where it was really awful because it was just too much. And I couldn't find a happy medium, which was awful. Because I was like, I hate it when people talk about balance or moderation or like they can have this and they don't gain any weight. but I was over here stuffing my face with all the crap and gaining weight and not being able to, like, have a happy medium. Right.

I would juice cleanse. I would do all the cleanses in the world after I would binge and then I would go straight back to binging. So it was just, it was a vicious cycle. That's why I don't like the word cleanse. And that's why I don't ever go on sugar detoxes or like, I'm going to do a restart for 2019. or whatever. Like, no, I live my life exactly the same all the time. I enjoy food with friends and family and I make real food, things that, like, work from my body.

And that's it. So how did you find that sense of balance? I had to hit rock bottom at a, like, hit a point where I was just like, I can't do this anymore. Was that like a day or an experience that you had? It was an experience. Yeah. I remember one night where I ate. ate way too much. And the next day, I woke up swollen all over my face, all over my body. My body

hurt. My body was sore from eating all that food that I had eaten the night before. I couldn't go to work the next day. So I called out. And that's when I was like, whoa, I'm doing what my mom did with alcohol. And like, I noticed that. And I was like, I have an addiction with food. Like, what? how did this even happen? And I realized that. I knew that it was unhealthy. I heard my heart pounding that night. I knew that wasn't right. And I asked, I called a girl from the church that we used to go to. I don't know why. I don't even remember her name. But I called her and I was like, hey, I need your help. I don't know why I'm calling you. I know we don't have a relationship. But like, your name is in my phone. And I just need help.

So it was someone that, like, didn't really know me. But just that was very positive. And in the word and, you know, has so much faith, all that stuff. And she's like, I know a place where you can go and talk about your addiction. But it's only if you want to make a change. But you have to want to. You can't do it for, like, anyone. You have to do it for yourself.

And I was like, yeah, I'm ready. I'm so ready. I just want this to be gone. And so I had to give up the whole mentality of like, no, but if I give it up, am I going to get FAT? If I do this, am I going to like, you know, gain all this weight or like not look as good or whatever? And I was just like, no, no, no, all that, all that noise, I had to like tone it down and be like, I'm going to make a change from me. I don't care what that outcome looks like.

I just want to be healthy mentally. So I went to this like AA meeting where I didn't know anyone. Most people were very, very like older. And they were talking about their drug addictions, alcohol addictions. And I was the only one talking about the food addiction. But like it made sense. It felt like they cared. And everyone was like, yeah, an addiction is an addiction.

And we understand that. And I would get people's inputs and, you know, they were older. so they were able to give me more than just like another girl or another friend that was like, well, why don't you just start up on this diet where it's like a lifestyle? But I needed to hear something more and deep. And that's kind of, I mean, I started going there. And my life changed after that. Was there anything that you can remember now that somebody said to you that really helped

it click this idea of how you could live? Yeah. I remember, I don't remember who said it, but I remember someone telling me like, you want to be healthy mentally and physically for your kids, don't you? And at the time, I didn't have kids, but I had a guy who I loved and who I knew I was going to get married to. And I wanted to make sure that I was good for him and for my future kids, but also like number one, me. I didn't want to be like my mom. I didn't want to be like anyone who had, who's had an addiction. So I needed to, like, I needed to make a change. And I think that's what clicked. It's like, I just want a healthy life. I want to be happy.

And that's kind of where I found it. That's interesting. Do you, did you, have you, like, relapsed anyway ever? Like, after you gave birth, did you struggle with your postpartum body? Or were you always from then on just, like, accepting of your body, accepting of what you craved and wanted to eat and all of that. It's so crazy to say, but after that, it was done like 100%. Yeah, I have insecurity still where I'm just like, oh my gosh, what's going on?

Or, oh, my gosh, my pants don't fit. What the heck? But it's never in a hateful way. I never look at it like, oh, you know, I need to make some changes. Or, hey, we need to stop on the going out to eat or desserts or whatever. I'm just, my body's constantly changing. I'm 30 years old. My pants that fit when I was 20 are no longer going to fit when I'm 30, 35.

I'm a mom of one and a half. And like right now, sure, there's some discomfort and there's some times where I look at myself and I'm not like 100% happy. But man, I'm so healthy mentally. physically to carry another child that like I almost feel like my body is doing me just like a favor and a service because it's able to be a home. It's able to get up and go and go to the park with Elliott and do these types of things. I never take that for granted anymore. It's so crazy, but it truly changed my life. And having that addiction to food has made me realize, man, I don't

want an addiction to anything. Like, I don't want to be bound to anything. Um, I want to be content living living my life with my family without having like, what am I going to eat next? Oh my gosh, when is my next workout going to be? Oh my gosh, I have to do this because of whatever. No, life is way too short to be thinking about what if, what else, what's next. Like, just, I think living in the moment, as cheesy as that sounds, is the best thing you can do for yourself. Do you do practice? Do you do that are sort of designed to do meditate or do any of the sort of mind-knitful things? The way I meditate is I go outside and take a walk with Elliot or by myself. It truly makes a huge difference going outside and getting fresh air,

looking at all the trees in the sky, and just thinking about my day or thinking about yesterday, the day before, a day where I had where I was really sick or really happy, or any, any days, any emotions, I'm like, wow, this helped me with this other thing. Or wow, I was in a shitty mood this day. But guess what? The next day, it was like, awesome. And I think it has to do with these hormones or this instant that AJ and I were arguing or whatever, it always ends up like coinciding with each other.

And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so crazy. Like, life is so bizarre. And at the end of the day, I just, I just feel so grateful. I feel like that's how I meditate. I like start thinking about everything or what I want to talk about on shut the kill up or what someone commented, you know, because I get a lot of DMs, tons, and I can't keep up. But some of them are truly life-changing where people share their lives and I'm so grateful that I don't have to experience that or I have experienced that and I want to help.

And how can I help? Yeah. So I just, I just kind of go through like the circle of what can I do next, but not in a, like being in the moment, but still like thinking about ideas and goals and dreams. So for Shut the Kill Up, it's obviously phenomenally successful. You have a huge following. And I think a lot of people feel really connected to you as a human. First of all, do you know, I'm sure people ask you this all the time, but do you know like why?

there's a million people on Instagram. Do you know why you were able to sort of emerge from the pack? I honestly don't. I can't answer that. I'm supposed to be talking about that on Blog Her at the event that I'm speaking at this week. And it's about how I grew my Instagram. And I'm having a very difficult time trying to get an answer

because I don't want to bullshit anyone. Did you do like just in a most basic level? Did you do any of the sort of any tactics to start? Did you comment on a lot of accounts all the time? Did you post every single day? Did you do any of the sort of straightforward tactical things? So I posted twice a day, sometimes three times a day. Oh, wow.

Yeah. That's a lot. But at the time, like I was just starting. So I didn't have like comments or DMs or now I feel like I post three times out of the week or four times out of the week because I can't keep up. And I want to put out stuff that, like, is meaningful and doesn't sound like everyone else. Because I feel like in this day and age, Instagram just sounds like a big old circle freak. If that's better, it's just nuts. And you don't know how to differentiate, like, the real and the, I'm so real.

I'm super authentic. Because that just sounds so lame now. But before I would post a lot, I would comment on every comment. DM that one person that was like, hey, are you taking apple cider vinegar? You know, I've been doing the things that I'm doing now since I started. Like, if you go way back, you'll see that I've always made this ginger tea that I'm taking now, that I'm pregnant. And like eating the real foods that I continue to make now, it's just more common now.

But I think being consistent, I started tagging the brands that I used. And I was posting a lot of brands on my feed because people wanted to know, hey, where can I get that? And I would say just tap or just click the photo and I tagged the, you know, the nut butter or the peanut butter or whatever. And you can go find it at your whole foods or mothers or whatever. That's the only reason why I started tagging brands. I didn't know that they could repost. A lot of, a lot of companies reposted me and they would always say, at shut the kale up. And that would always bring some followers.

And I thought that was really sweet and cool. But I didn't know what I was doing. First of all, I didn't know what a blogger was when I started Shut the Kila. I knew about Joy the Baker. I knew about minimalist baker and Sprattered Kitchen. And I follow them three. I am a huge fan. But I didn't like, those were, I guess, bloggers.

But I didn't know about anyone else. I didn't know what an influencer was until I was called. one and I was like, wait, what? No, I'm not, I know. And it's such an annoying word. And there's like not a better word for it. No. It's, it's a word everybody cringes when they use. Well, because everyone's an influencer now. Yeah. It's just like, okay. You know, but I didn't do it for fame or for follows, you know, I didn't care who followed me. I still, like, I don't have apps where it tells me who's following me and who isn't. So I don't know who follows me. I'm very grateful for this community. I'm, I'm very, very, very honest. And I try to keep it 100% all the time,

because I don't hear real stories 100% of the time. I feel like most influencers, quote unquote, Google everything and they sound like these dietitians or holistic masters. And like, it's like, no, dude, you Googled that. And then you posted it on your feed and now everyone's praising you. Yeah. And also a lot of it coming from an edit. editorial perspective where I can't write articles without, you know, checking the citations and making sure there's studies and, like, interviewing doctors. And then when you see influencers post up, it's like wrong. It's not only just Googled. It's from unvalidated sources. Right. And it's bad information. And that freaks me out because people trust influencers so much. Because they have

that intimate relationship. And I think that that's something that needs to be kept very, close to heart. Totally. That people are making decisions based on what you said. That's why I don't talk about a whole lot of subjects like that anymore because I realize that I can be this powerful voice to someone that can be very broken. And if they take this advice the wrong way or, you know, listen to every single word and is like dissecting everything, it could be really bad for them.

So I try to steer away from like, Like, guys, you should be taking these supplements because they're amazing. You should try this diet because yes. And intermittent fasting because, ugh, like, no, I do what I do every day. And I show, you know, what I do. But, man, that advice can be very, very taken very badly. So how do you decide what you're going to post? I talk about my experiences.

And I always say, this is me. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a dietitian. And if you ask questions, like I'm not your doctor, I can't say yes or no. I've gotten a lot of questions now that I'm pregnant. And I'm just very honest and say, hey, this is my experience. I've been doing this with Elliott and now this little baby. And it's been all good, you know.

But again, it's something that I need to like draw the line on because I don't want anyone to take misinformation or if I Googled something and I've, you know, done my research, but I'm wrong. Yeah. I don't want them to be in the wrong. So what if you don't, do you ever feel like writers block for experiences? Like,

do you ever feel like, well, this was a boring day and nothing happened? What do I post on Instagram now? I don't feel that way anymore. I used to because I was always like following up with everyone and thinking, they posted something. I need to post something,

you know, because you do get caught up in that, in that world. But I'm a mom. I'm very busy with Elliot and very hands-on. with him and my family that I feel like I first of all I focus on my community I respond to DMs I take the time to try my best to respond to all of them I can't or else I'd be on the on my phone all day long but I take two to three hours four days out of the week to respond wow and um because they're

the ones who made me who I am, even though I'm nobody still. Like they, I have to thank them. I have to say, hey, I notice you and I appreciate you and thank you for giving me a voice. And so they're number one. And then it comes to my partnerships, which I only have very little. I say no to a whole lot of people who want to work with me. Thankfully, I'm able to do that now that I have my two solid partnerships. but and then it's it's whatever I want to write about. So those three things I focus on. And do you, are you aware now that when you're writing something, so many people are seeing it so you want it?

Are you trying to like get a lot of likes when you write something? Or would you sometimes want to write something and feel like your audience wouldn't really enjoy that? So you wouldn't write it? No, I always write stuff that's coming from me. and because I love it, because I want to share it, I never think about like, oh, this isn't going to get very many likes, or the comments suck on this photo.

I can't believe I posted that. No, that's never how I look at Instagram. I always stay true to how I started to shut the kale up. And if I want to post a photo, that's not going to get anything, I will definitely post it because it's coming from a place of me. So would you tell somebody who is wanting to sort of get into the whole Instagram game to do that just to be like it doesn't matter the likes, the engagements? Right. Because I think a lot of influencers feel like if their followers want gooey brownies, they should just post a lot of gooey brownies because that's, they're trying to give their followers what they want.

Right. And you don't feel like that. No. I feel like, first of all, I hate wasting anything. Yeah, I do too. Wasting food is like one of my biggest. best pet peeves in the world. Because I know that like I didn't have a lot of money to go buy groceries every week

that like I would literally live off easy mac mac and cheese little microwavables or like top ramen. And when I see people posting tons of cookies and pancakes and waffles and this and that, I'm just like, you're not going to eat that. That's not realistic. You're just tossing it. I've seen influencers on like press trips buy food, take a photo of it. throw it away. Yeah.

Hell no. Yeah. No. That's so wrong. Yeah. I am no. I mean, if that's the type of influencer you want to be, then you're never going to find happiness through this outlet. Because this is my outlet is shut the keel up.

And I am in love with it. I feel like it's definitely a part of me. Whoever follows me and says, I feel like I know you. You know me. That is me. And I'm never going to like, again, bullshit the system or anything where I'm going to be posting something that I'm not eating or this or that. Like, it's what you see is what you get. So yeah, no, I would say if you want to start an Instagram, do it for you and not anyone else.

If someone sees it and someone comments it and loves it, that's awesome. Good for you. But continue to do what you love and show your passion, write what you want to write. don't sound like anyone else. Like everyone has something about them and that's why we're here. So why sound like someone else? Yeah. That's just going to dilute the person that you are.

And then you're going to end up sounding like the influencer that's just trying to get all the likes and everyone praises. Trust me, I have people that I still follow that I'm just like, why do I even follow this person? They're just, they're not. That's not them. Yeah. but they do it. You also see behind the curtain. Oh, 100%.

You're friends with a lot of, or you know these people in real life. Right. You probably see the difference between the persona. Yeah. Which must be really interesting. It is very interesting. So I'm just like, I cringe and I'm just like have to look the other way because I can't. And I'm 100% real, but I would never call them out or say anything because that's just not who I am.

Do you ever resent it? Like, do you ever feel like you want to be in a moment, but you feel like you need to get content? or anything like that? I don't. Not anymore. Okay. I used to feel that way, but not anymore. And what changed?

I think Elliot, after him turning a certain age, I couldn't just be on my phone all day long. I couldn't just be like, oh, he's taking a nap. Now I'm going to go do this. He's able to tell me, hey, mom, no work, no work. and that makes me feel like, no, I can't. First of all, he's not getting a phone until he's like 21. He doesn't own an iPad. He watches very minimal TV.

I don't want him to grow up to be the kid that's on his phone, my phone, or dad's phone all day long. And if he's seeing us do it, like, it's going to be so normal. And in this society, that's how, that's where we're, we're going. It's phones, iPad, just screen time all day long. I want him to grow up like I did, going outside, playing

kid stuff. So that's what changed. Is, yeah, is, is him. And I feel like it's, it just makes me feel so much more appreciative of life and the space that I do get to create in my outlet, because I still need

my time. And I love to share what I share. But it also makes me feel like balanced. You know, because for a while, I was comparing myself so much to other influencers. And I was almost like losing my voice. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't going to happen. And then Elliott, like, you know, getting older and all this.

Like, I feel like it changed at like the perfect time. Because I don't want to sound like this person that just knows it all. And we're like, hey, look at this package that I received today. No, no, no, no. I'm a real person. I came from nothing. I still don't have much, but I have just what I need. And that's it.

That's it. I love that. So the solution is for all of us to have Elliott. And then our lives will be perfect. No, I mean, he's just a doll. But what I mean is I think everyone should find that. Who they are. Yeah, who they are.

And what really makes them content, get off your phone. you know, it really makes a huge difference. I'm so grateful that I didn't turn into that person that just needs to be online all the time. Or like, it's out with friends and I'm constantly checking my phone. That can wait. That will literally be there in an hour. And it's going to be all good. Like, you're not missing out.

You're definitely not missing out. But you are missing out in the other way. Right, exactly. The flip side. Exactly. Okay. Okay. So I have, I asked people online.

if they have questions for you. And I have a lot. We're going to do this sort of quickfire style. Let's do it. While I pull these up, actually, one of my quick fire questions that I really like is if there's a purchase that you've made that's made you healthier or happier in your life. Oh my gosh.

This is the worst because the first thing I thought about was something super dumb. People have said like genes. You know what I mean? People say dumb stuff. And that's fun. Honestly, the one thing. thing that I purchased that makes me feel so happy and just so content are all of my plants. And you have a lot.

I have a lot. This one's dead though. She still has her Christmas tree up. I just want to make that known first. And two plants died. Which is a plant. Yeah, right. Do you take care of the plants or does AJ?

I take care of all of the plants. So that's your fault. Two of them were my fault because I, again, I was so sick during my first trimester that I just couldn't water my plants. I didn't care. You were growing other things. Right. Exactly.

Okay. Well, your plants are lovely. Thank you. How many days a week do you work out? That definitely depends. I took a two-month break. I try to work out four to five days a week to keep my hormones okay. And do you work out solely because it makes you feel good?

My mind. I go to this trainer that's like, I mean, he talks about such positive things. And like, it really helps my mental. health. And do you always do a trainer? No, no, no. He's like a group trainer. Sorry. I don't go to trainers. They're way too expensive. You can get the same results doing your own thing. Okay. Do you always go to a gym though and do sort of Jimmy? I've seen you with like doing really intense. I love class extra like group exercises because you see a variety of people, not just like these buff people, but like normal people who just want to go and get a good sweat and like work on their minds.

and it's just, it's like community for me. It really is because everyone high fives each other. Yeah, it's really cool. It's really cool. What do you do when you get home and you're starving, but there's no food? What would you eat first or snack on? A banana.

I love banana so much. What do you think of the celery juice trend slash wellness trends in general? I don't, I mean, I've gotten into some wellness trends, like the potions, but only because my holistic chirofactor has suggested them and I trust them for everything. I love when anybody says that they came to it via some sort of expert who's trained in it. Oh, yeah. Very happy.

I mean, he's the one that told me like, hey, have you ever heard of Rishi? And I'm like, oh, my gosh, I think that's on potion. And he's like, yes, go get it. It'll really, really help with stress or it'll help with flying or whatever. And then I started doing my research on potions. And that's kind of how. So what do you take? Which of the potion?

Right now I'm only taking Rishi. But I used to take a combo of cordyceps, aschwaganda, Rishi, a little bit of tokos. Yeah. So it just depends. Right now that I'm pregnant, I'm just taking Rishi, though. Do you have any nightly rituals that you do so that you have a good night and have a lot of energy in the morning? Yes. I drink lots of water before bed.

Do I have to pee all night? Now, yeah, exactly. I always wash my face. I always wash my face. Do a little bit of, you know, moisturizer. What's your go-to moisturizer? The calendula hydrating cream from naturopathca. Your skin is bananas. Thank you.

It's really good. I don't know if that's like, you have to get pregnant to have that glow, but. I think it is. And it's just sweat. It's just sweat. Yeah, no, but that's my favorite hydrating cream. Even though I do feel dry today. It's my favorite thing.

And then anything else before Ben? I've been putting my phone down at 7 p.m. not looking at it, not writing anything. Even if I have an idea, I don't pick it up. I just no phones. I like the idea that even if you lose an idea, it's still like not. Yeah, because it'll come back. Yeah.

It'll come back. And then do you have any morning routines or rituals? Yes. I wake up super early. I make my warm ginger tea. And I just start thinking about like my day. but in a positive way. Like, how can I make today awesome and how can I make Elliot's Day awesome or AJ's?

You know, little things like that. I love that. Yeah. What are your favorite cookbooks or sources for recipe inspiration? I love minimalist baker's cookbook. I also love going on Food 52 or Bon Appetit. Like, I always find good recipes on their websites. What about AJ's eating habits?

Was he like a clean eater when you guys met? and is he a clean eater now? And how do you guys navigate all that? So his mom and his dad have always been into juicing and eating healthy. Wow. Yeah. They're the ones that got us into our holistic chiropractor and muscle testing and all this like. That's cool.

Yeah. Eastern medicine. So did he ever rebel against that or was he always like salads and smoothies are great? True believer. His dad had cancer and he beat it naturally. What? Yeah. I've never talked.

talked about that, but he had thyroid cancer and he didn't get chemo. He juiced. He ate real food and went to all the doctors that we go to. Wow. Yeah. I mean, if that wouldn't make you a believer, I don't know what would. That's crazy. Let's see. Let's see. Can you talk about some of the best and worst experiences you've had since you've sort of monetized your account and worked with brands? you don't have to name the names of the brands, but sort of what happens behind the scenes? Yeah, there's brands that I absolutely love. I've always been the type of influencer to buy my own stuff,

to not ask. I never ask for products. I'm not ever, like, sliding into their DMs and saying, hey, I really want to try this. Hint, hint, no. I go and go on their website, go to Whole Foods, Mother, wherever, and I buy the product.

If I love it, I'll talk about it. If I don't, I don't have to. I don't feel bound to talk about that. But there's a brand that I've always, like, always loved, supported, eaten, this, that. And I've, like, finally had paid partnerships with them. And it's so difficult to work with them. But it's a brand that we always love and we always eat as a family. And we're just like, what the hell?

Difficult and just that they, like, demand things you're uncomfortable with. Right. Right. And I work a certain way and I never give in to like, this is how we're going to do it. No, this is a partnership. We create together. And that's why you reached out to me. I never reach out to brands. I always like if people want to work with me, they will. If they don't, then I'm not going to ask. Yeah. But yeah, that's kind of like a downfall. And I've had like a few brands that I love, but it's just so difficult to work with them. And sure the money's great. But it's like, is it really worth it? no, I'd rather like have my sanity to be completely honest. I know people would swallow that, but I'm so different. Like I'm not out here for money. I mean, yes, I, it's my business and I, I want to live comfortably, but I don't need much to. I know.

I feel like that's such a nice safety net that you have having come from not that much is that you don't like need a huge house or a sweet car or anything like that. We do like nice things. I don't want to like say, no, no, no, we, you know, we, you know, know, because there's things that we have bought that I'm just like, oh my gosh, I don't think I could ever afford this. And I'm so grateful. But again, we come from this place of like, we don't really need that.

It's kind of like, like, AJ got me a bag when I signed to an Adidas partnership. And that was huge for me. Yeah. And it's a bag that I would never buy for myself. And if I knew that he was going to buy, I would say, no, don't. Please don't. Let's save that for, you know, Elliot's future, whatever. Like we're constantly saving for things future.

But yeah. Like we don't need lunch. I do. I wear it every day. What brand? Is it like Chanel or something? It's Gucci. It's so weird to say it.

Because I mean, again. It's the gift giving love language has happened. It's nice being on the other end of that. What would you be doing right now if you were an influencer? Teaching yoga and probably teaching yoga to kids. Oh, that's really huge. Cute. Did Elliot do yoga? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. You should, if he comes back, you should ask him, hey, Elliot, do you do yoga? I don't think he's going to come back because he's at Disneyland right now. Yeah, he's probably at Disneyland or the park. But he would take out my mat, he would roll it out and straight to down dog and, like, he'll lift his little leg. Oh, yeah. And then tree pose. That's so cute. Do you guys do like mommy's son practices together?

I try. He doesn't really care when I start asking him to do things. It's more like I start doing it and then he follows along. So, you know, it's kind of like monkey see monkey do. Yeah, yeah. What's the favorite vacation you've ever taken? Our honeymoon. We went to New York, London, Paris.

For how long? For two weeks. And I know you guys said you wanted to do a lot more traveling. Is that something that's still a goal? for the future. So we're going to London next month. Oh, cool. Which I'm very excited about.

It's for work for three days and then we're taking four days for us. Oh, that'll be over there anyways. But yeah, that's something we really love. And we're going to continue to do it with our babies and, you know, sometimes without the babies. Is there ever a, this is one of my quickfire questions too, but is there a place that you've gone in the world where you feel like people really got it right in terms of living? like a healthy, happy life? No.

Do you think it's still out there to be discovered? San Diego. Okay. San Diego is a place we often go to because A.J.'s family has a condo down there, so we always stay there. And you think they're all just like living a good life down there? Oh, yeah. Every time we go down there, it's like they're all surfing, going outside.

Like, it's about going outside and playing and doing things. I feel like in L.A. or here, it's very, everyone's on their phones, you know? I don't know. This looks like paradise to me from New York. It really does. I love New York. I know you do. I have very mixed things.

I don't know if you want to say this, but how many kids? We have a lot of questions about how many kids you guys want. I want it three or four, and now I'm second guessing it. Because you feel like maybe a girl and a boy is good or because pregnancy is hard? No, this world is just so weird. And it just scares me for our future. That's interesting. Well, my next question was, what's your biggest fear?

My biggest fear is having, like, us, like me, AJ or Elliott or any of my family members getting like this really crazy disease and like dying from it or just getting like all the glyphos and all the pesticides and GMOs, like all that. Like, where is that going to take us? Like, I have no clue. That scares me. It does. I kind of stay away from it, like, all the looking on the news and stuff, but how can you miss it? Yeah. It's everywhere.

Yeah. That scares me. All right. And then the last question, which is one of my quickfires, is what's one big mistake that you've made in your life and what's one thing that you really feel like you got right? One mistake was to be in an abusive relationship. I could have easily gotten out, but I didn't. Why?

Were you scared? I was scared. I was comfortable. I was almost like I was infatuated, but I didn't know the difference from infatuated and loved. I thought that was love and it wasn't. And that was like just the one thing that I was like, why? I wasted so many years with this guy, this kid. and I could have easily been living my life, like meeting other people or like just doing me,

finding more of myself. Mind you, I did end up finding myself, but it wasn't for a while. But everything happens for a reason. I do believe that. The one thing I did get right, I'm going to have to say parenting. And seeing my kid, and this could seriously start making me tear up, but like he's such a good kid. kid. He doesn't know the difference from like sick kids we see at the park or, you know, different colors, nothing. He loves all people. He'll go up to them. He'll give them a hug.

And he'll be like, hi, my name's Elliot. How did you teach him that? I don't know. I show him love. I show him kindness. I tell him that everyone is her friends. We go to the park. He's around kids all day long. And I always tell him like, be kind, be nice, you know. And he just, it's all about play for him and all about love. And he grabs her faces and kisses us. Like, I know a lot of my friends, their kids aren't like that. And I don't know what we did, but we did something right.

Because he's doing all the things that I just, I want, I want in my kids. It's like love and affection and compassion. So, yeah. Well, thank you so much for taking the time to chat today. Oh my gosh. Thank you. This was lovely. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening.

Isn't Jeanette, like, she's the best? I feel like she's like the big sister girlfriend that we all wish we had in our lives, but instead we only have it on Instagram. We have tons of great episodes coming up. I've already recorded them. I cannot wait to share them with you guys. So be sure to subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet. And thank you guys so much.

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