The Liz Moody Podcast - Steal This 3-Step Plan The Next Time You Feel Stuck

Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is all about exactly what to do when you feel stuck, unmotivated, or burnt out. You might have already caught on to this with my other solos, but this is not just going to be me cheerleading you on saying like, you've got this. Because first of all, there are so many other podcasts out there that do that. So if that is what you want, there are plenty of places to find it. And secondly, because I hate that kind of thing, I find it so annoying when I'm like, I feel stuck. And someone is like, I believe in you.

Starting point is 00:00:32 You can do it. And I'm like, cool, cool, cool, cool. But how? Specifically, how can I do it? And what action steps should I specifically take? And while you're at it, can you please tell me why it works so I can understand the science enough to believe it will work and feel motivated enough to do it? Welcome to the Liz Moody podcast where we believe that there is always something that you

Starting point is 00:00:56 can do to create a life that feels amazing. amazing, and we help you figure out how to find the lever to pull at any moment to actually do that. So, this is going to be an episode that is jam-packed with the latest research on getting through these tricky moments in life, when we feel stuck, when we feel tired, when we feel overwhelmed, when we feel like this is not the life that we want to be living, but we're not sure how to get from where we are to where we want to be. And I want to say right off the bat that you, that you deserve to feel thriving and vibrant. You deserve to feel energized and excited and not like you're going through the motions or just getting through each day. And I promise, I promise right here,

Starting point is 00:01:44 right now, you can get there. Coming off the back of publishing my book, I was feeling so burnt out. I went straight from writing the book to doing publicity for the book to going on book tour. So it was like a year and a half of go, go, go. And that was on. on top of creating daily content for all these different social media platforms and prepping for and recording podcast interviews every single week. And it's interesting. A really great friend of mine who is also a coach for incredibly high-performing women, like top CEOs and entrepreneurs, people that you have heard of, she always says that one of the

Starting point is 00:02:20 biggest signs of burnout isn't exhaustion. It's feeling like nothing is exciting anymore. It is a universal me-feeling. Hanging out with friends, me. Going to a movie, me. So for me, while I was definitely tired and I knew that I had been working too much, the key sign of my burnout was this general feeling that the color on my life had been turned down a few notches. Things I used to find exciting didn't excite me anymore. Even though I was doing things, I felt like I was just going through the motions. For other people, burnout can manifest differently. It can look like over-reliance on numbing, whether that's with food or social media or alcohol or weed gummies. It can

Starting point is 00:03:09 look like just trying to make it through each day so you can tune out in the evening and then go to sleep and do the whole thing all over again the next day. So many of us live our lives like this, like we're trying to survive them rather than enjoy them. And before we know it, a decade passes. and then another. And then all of the sudden, we have missed it. We have missed the big, beautiful miracle that is our life. And we don't get a do-over. I say this not to scare you. Well, you know what? Actually, I do say it to scare you. It scares me. And frankly, thinking about that, like picturing myself fighting through my work each day and then numbing until bed and then doing it all again until I wake up and I have missed my life, that is often terrifying enough to motivate me into action.

Starting point is 00:03:58 The idea that life is not a dress rehearsal, that this is the only day that I will ever be exactly this age. This is the only day that I get to live this day. It is scary because it should be scary because it's a scary way that many of us are living our lives. Sometimes, I'm being really honest here, sometimes that is the only thought that gets me up and out of my doom scroll. Okay, so let's go back to me after my book tour. I noticed that I would get a big podcast interview and I would be like, well, that's nice. There was this one moment where I was in a national park and I was looking around and there

Starting point is 00:04:39 was all this awe-inspiring scenery that normally would move me to tears. It had moved me to tears before in my life. And I was just like, yeah, it's fine. Meanwhile, I was crying at really random times. I was getting overwhelmed by really random things and just like surprising myself with my reactions. My same friend, the coach for the high-powered women, says that one of the best litmus tests for burnout is if taking a vacation helps. Because if you're just tired, if you just need a break, you can come back from a vacation

Starting point is 00:05:14 feeling more refreshed. But if you're burnt out, it's a sign that you do. need to make deeper changes, and that's not going to be solved by a vacation. And that is exactly where I was. My vacation felt less enjoyable when I was on it than I thought it would. And then when I went back to work, my life felt just as overwhelming. And you guys know me. I needed a plan. I needed to figure something out. I needed action steps. So I did an audit of the past year and a half for myself. And I realized three really surprising things about burnout. One, it was actually people who had sapped my energy more than the tasks on my plate. I ended up having some fairly toxic interactions

Starting point is 00:05:58 with people that I had no choice but to work with. If you broke down the tasks of writing and publishing the book, it was a lot, but they were check-offable. But wow, when I got off a call with my heart pounding or I got an email that made me feel terrible. That drained me. And this can happen in your professional life or in your personal life, which is why one of the top ways to deal with burnout is to do an energy audit of the people that you spend the majority of your time with. This can be at work, this can be at home, this can be in your social time. Just literally write down all of the people that you encounter throughout your week and then take note of how you feel after you spend time with them. This can be hugely eye-opening for friendships and even for family, and it can be a really

Starting point is 00:06:47 great sign that boundaries need to be drawn. Maybe you don't need to see that friend every single week. Maybe you don't need to talk to your mom on the phone every day. At work, too, we often have more power than we think. We can set boundaries, if possible, about after-hours communication, or we can try to create physical distance between ourselves and our coworkers. I had a coworker in one of my offices who was hugely draining to my energy, and when I was feeling depleted, I would consciously work in one of the conference rooms to get more space.

Starting point is 00:07:19 Instead of thinking there is no solution to this, try thinking, if I assume there's definitely a solution to this, what would that solution be? This is one of my favorite tips for when we are feeling stuck in general, by the way. I first heard it from Britt Frank. She is a therapist who's actually come on the podcast to talk about the science of being stuck. I could link that episode in the show notes. But one thing that she said has stuck with me, stuck, whatever. One thing that she said has stuck with me ever since.

Starting point is 00:07:51 And here it is. Anytime you are feeling stuck, start with the assumption that you have three options. Suspend your disbelief and just say, okay, I have three options here. What are they? Doing this takes our brain out of that negativity mode where we come up with all of the reasons why we can't do something, why the changes that we want aren't available to us, and it puts it into problem-solving mode, into creative solution mode. And if you can't think of anything, and this is a really hot tip, first do a stress-relieving activity. Anything that relieves stress for you, it can be reading a book. You can take a walk.

Starting point is 00:08:30 You can do a quick meditation practice. But when we are in states of stress, the part of our brain that's responsible for creative problem solving literally goes offline. This is probably one of my most used takeaways from interviewing doctors on the podcast. Literally your executive control area essentially turns off because your brain thinks that you are in survival mode. It doesn't want you sitting around and pondering interesting ideas. It wants you to run.

Starting point is 00:09:00 One of the biggest mistakes that so many of us make is feeling stressed, feeling overwhelmed, and then saying, I don't like how I feel right now. And then we try to come up with solutions. But since we are stressed, we can't come up with any solutions since that part of our brain is turned off. So we think there aren't any. And then we keep living our lives the same way. When in fact, we need to do something to decrease our stress to activate that problem-solving part of our brain, to have it produce the solutions that we are looking for.

Starting point is 00:09:34 So that is just a hot tip for life. Do not try to make decisions or problem solve when you are stressed. First, intentionally decrease your stress levels and then ask yourself, should I quit this job? Should I break up with this person? What do I need to do differently in my life to feel differently? So coming back to the people that we surround ourselves with. I think often, especially with work, we're like, this is just the way that it is.

Starting point is 00:10:04 There is no solution. So I would encourage you, try to get yourself first into a lower stress state and then ask yourself, if there were three options here, what would they be? Could they be moving to a different team? Could they be talking to your boss about the way that you would like to be communicated with? Could an option even be looking for a different job if the job that you're at is making your life feel terrible. I don't know your life. I don't know your situation. But if we start from the

Starting point is 00:10:35 assumption that there are three options, well, I would love to see where that takes you. And in general, just really being aware that people can be as big of energy drains as tasks are and protecting your energy in that way accordingly. Big news after me taking seeds DSO1 daily symbiotic for five years, now and you guys sending me literally thousands of DMs about how much you love it. Zach, my dear husband, finally decided to try it. And it turns out he is obsessed. Surprise, surprise. He's like, I did not know that my gut could feel like this. Here's the thing about DSO1 that I do not think most people fully appreciate until they experience it. This is not your average probiotic. The vast majority of probiotics that you can buy do not even survive digestion. The SO1 is specifically

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Starting point is 00:12:04 This is definitely a situation where if you have been curious, just try it. See if it makes a difference for you. If you're ready to experience a probiotic that actually works, go to cede.com slash Liz Moody and use code Liz Moody to get 25% off your first month. That is seed.com slash Liz Moody code Liz Moody. I've been drinking Element every single day for literally years. I usually use one packet a day, but I break it up and I kind of spike my water throughout the day. So it makes my water taste amazing and it helps me stay consistently hydrated, which for me means more energy, fewer headaches, and way clearer thinking. That's like probably the biggest difference I notice is my brain just works so much better. Research actually shows that you hydrate better when you

Starting point is 00:12:44 sip throughout the day instead of chugging all at once. An element makes that so much easier because plain water is honestly so boring and I just will not drink enough of it otherwise. I even use a glass straw because research also shows that you will drink more water if you drink it through a straw. Right now I'm obsessed with the lemonade salt flavor. It's my favorite hands down. Zach and I fight over who gets the last packets that we have left. Although I also love watermelon, but like lemonade, oh, it's so good. I also love muddling a few raspberries in a glass and then I'll add the lemonade Element and then I'll sip it all afternoon or I'll use it as like a fun little moktail. Element is a zero sugar electrolyte drink mix with no fillers, no dodgy ingredients and it delivers

Starting point is 00:13:23 a powerful dose of sodium, potassium, and magnesium to support real hydration. Electrolate imbalance can cause headaches, fatigue, cramps, and brain fog, things that so many of us deal with daily. You can get a free eight-count sample pack with any order at drink element.com slash Liz. It is totally risk-free. If you do not love it, they offer no questions asked. refunds you truly have nothing to lose, go to drink, lmn t.com slash Liz. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor.

Starting point is 00:13:55 One of the easiest micro habits to change your diet is to stop giving yourself the unhealthy option, the option you don't want to reach for in the first place. So the key is to plan ahead and I do that by keeping IQ bars in my car and in my bag. So no matter how busy the day gets, I already have a smart, healthy option ready to go. These were one of the bars that my personal RD recommended for me as I worked with her over the course of a year to lose 30 pounds in a healthy way, and I truly, truly love them. This is the perfect time to try IQ Bar's ultimate sampler pack that includes brain and body boosting bars, mushroom coffees, and more. All of their products are entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial sweeteners. There's a reason why IQ Bar has over 15,000 five-star reviews and counting.

Starting point is 00:14:41 It's because IQ bars have more fiber. Fiber is going to be the word of the day this year, I promise you guys. They have more fiber, less sugar and carbs than other protein bars, and they actually somehow, even with all of that, still taste good, which is truly a miracle. Right now, IQ bars offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ bar products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text Liz to 64,000. Text Liz to 6400.

Starting point is 00:15:12 That's Liz to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply, see terms for details. The second thing that I realized was that my own perfectionism was biting me in the butt. This can also be a huge thing that keeps many of us stuck because we feel like this perfect, ideal version of a thing isn't available to us. Our dream house, our dream job. Maybe we can't start the podcast that we want to start. or write the book that we want to write. We don't even move in that direction and begin taking the steps we need to take that will result in us making the progress and learning the lessons

Starting point is 00:15:50 that someday will result in our dream house or our dream job or the book that's publishable. Enjoying learning, enjoying the process is one of the biggest superpowers in life. And I think that it's been robbed from us a bit. Or wait, okay, rather, I think it is something that we have to work really hard to consciously cultivate because we have access to more of those end results, those fully realized way down the line results than we ever have before in history. We see the dream houses, the beautiful books, the podcasts with millions of listeners, and we see the gap between our life and that, and we think it's not even worth trying. But taking an imperfect step in the right direction is literally the only way

Starting point is 00:16:37 to make progress. And this is something that I am hugely guilty of. A lot of us are really bad at differentiating between the stuff that really matters and the stuff that we think matters, but isn't actually responsible for our results. We had a podcast go live where the editor accidentally cut the part where I said, welcome to the podcast to the guest into the very end of the episode. So we had this whole long interview. And then there's my voice talking over her voice saying, welcome to the podcast. And when a listener told me about it, I felt like I was going to throw up. I was like, this is so embarrassing. People are going to think that we're not professional. I'm a loser. And I went down this whole spiral. And then I paused. And I was like,

Starting point is 00:17:25 does this really matter? If someone is an hour and a half into this conversation that I am really, really proud of, if someone has just learned all this great information, are they going to judge me for an editing snafu? Or are they going to be like, whoops, a mistake? Because mistakes happen. Because we are all human. It's kind of like what they say about emails. They have done this really crazy research where a lot of the time, if someone ignores an email, the email sender finds a solution on their own. I think we've all experienced this. Maybe we're out of office on a vacation and someone emails us. And normally it's something that would have spiked our blood pressure that would have sent us into a stress spiral.

Starting point is 00:18:06 But then in the time that we didn't respond, it fully resolved. Which is all just to say, many, many things are not as big of a deal as we make them seem. Not every email is the end of the world. Not every mistake is the end of the world. And knowing the difference between the stuff that really matters and the stuff that really doesn't is going to save you from a lot of burnout and a lot of overwhelm. So two action steps for this one. First, as you go through your day, ask yourself what good enough would look like. What would good enough dinner look like? What would a good enough email look like?

Starting point is 00:18:50 You cannot be 10 out of 10 at everything. We don't have infinite time and energy. Being good enough at the things that matter less makes room to be great at the things that you truly value. And I really, really want you. you to think about that latter part because the value bit is important. A lot of us spend so much time being great at work that we don't have the energy to be great at the things that we do value, like being a friend or a partner or a hiker or a reader or all of these other identities that we have. Or we're great at having a perfect house or perfect skin care when maybe some unfolded laundry would free up space to sit and have a real dinner.

Starting point is 00:19:36 our conversation with our partner. What can you be good enough at? And how can that free up some time for the things that you value? You'll be gaining energy by spending less time trying to be incredible at everything. And you'll be gaining energy by doing the things that truly fill your cup so you are attacking burnout from both sides. Second, be okay with being imperfect. Every single great thing that has ever been accomplished is the result of thousands of tiny things being imperfectly executed along the way. We do not expect perfection from other people. Why? Why? Somebody tell me why. Why do we demand it from ourselves? Okay. Going back to the three things that I realized about burnout. The third thing that I realized is that often burnout isn't a bad thing.

Starting point is 00:20:32 It's a really beautiful way that our bodies and minds are communicating with us, telling us that what we are doing isn't working and we need to make some real changes. Sometimes this can be as small as I need to schedule real time to do nothing into my day. I need real rest. I need to join an improv class. I need community. And sometimes it can be I need to move cities. I need to get a different job. I need to leave this relationship that's no longer serving me.

Starting point is 00:21:04 And I know if you are stuck, it can be hard to figure out what you want or need. So I am going to share a few different ways to help you get there. First of all, if it is a specific problem that you feel stuck on, try the trick that we talked about earlier. If we assume that we have three choices here, what would they be? I also love to ask myself, if I wasn't feeling stuck, if I was, in the flow. If I was my happiest self, what I would be doing. And then I just do that thing without any expectations. For me, this works especially well in the moment that my stuckness feels a lot like

Starting point is 00:21:43 low-grade depression. And I'm just kind of moping about feeling sad. And I ask myself, if I wasn't feeling sad right now, what would I be doing? What do I enjoy when I am not feeling like this? And maybe it's taking a walk or making a plan with a friend. And so I do that thing even if I don't feel like it. Because often we wait until we're feeling better to do the things that make us feel better. If we lead with the doing, we feel better much faster. Another hack is to just get in motion. The difference between days where I have a podcast early in the morning or I start with a workout are massively different from the days where I start the day by scrolling in bed. One of my all-time favorite mottoes is objects in motion stay in motion, objects at rest, stay at rest.

Starting point is 00:22:34 We think the little breaks on our phone are giving us energy, but they're actually depleting us. And the hit that we get from accomplishing things, even the tiniest wins, will give us the real energy that we need to keep going. Everyone's bar is going to be different, but give yourself a win. Get yourself in motion. Schedule a workout. If you're laying scrolling, just get up and load the dishwasher. Make yourself a cup of tea.

Starting point is 00:23:02 Little motion gives you the energy that you need to create big motion and big change. And make sure that you are taking small steps. Like we talked about earlier, often our dreams are so big that they feel impossible, which keeps us from going after them. If you feel stuck on a big project or goal, break it down into the smallest possible steps. What exactly can you do today to move in the right direction? Not to get there, just to move in the right direction. Make it measurable.

Starting point is 00:23:35 Make it tangible. This is how every major company that I know has been launched and how every book that I have ever heard of has been written. It's not I want to write a book. It's today I will write for 15 minutes. While a lot of these specific steps that you'll need to take will vary from person to person, I do want to call out the one universal that comes up over and over on the podcast as a prescription for pretty much everyone and everything, which is, drum roll please, movement. In terms of being stuck, movement is going to help cut down on those stress levels that are

Starting point is 00:24:11 keeping you from accessing the creative problem-solving parts of your brain. It's going to help you feel happier both immediately after moving and in the long term. And it's actually going to increase your neuroplasticity so you can generate new ideas. It's going to help improve your energy both directly and indirectly because it's going to help improve your sleep. It basically helps beat burnout or feeling unmotivated or stuck from every single direction. And if you are looking for one place to start, have it be incorporating as much movement as you can into your daily life. Even when I am feeling my absolute lowest, I try to do my daily workout and I try to get my steps in because it is such a powerful way to change my state that even if I

Starting point is 00:24:57 don't feel better immediately, I know that I am voting in the direction of my own positive change. And then the last thing that I want to mention is the novelty rule, which I created largely in response to feeling stuck in my own life. It's based on the research of Dr. David Eagleman at Stanford, and I have a whole episode about it that I can link in the show notes. But in short, the idea is that when we do novel things, our brain perceives time as slower and we feel happier and more satisfied in our lives. The novelty rule, which is just to do one novel thing a week and then one larger novel adventure every single month, is designed to break up the feeling that we're living the same

Starting point is 00:25:37 day over and over just going to work and then coming home and then eating dinner in front of the TV and then doing it all over again the next day. And that day that I just described is the epitome of a stuck burnt out day, a stuck burnt out life. I share a ton of ideas for novelty rule weekly and monthly activities in that episode. But two things that I find particularly helpful when I feel burnt out or stuck or unmotivated are novel environments and novel people. I try to change where I am, whether it's working in a different cafe or even in just a different room. And I try to change the voices that I hear, whether it's people in real life or even just on podcasts or social media. Basically, I am trying to shock my brain out of the replay mode that it's

Starting point is 00:26:34 been operating in and force it to take new neural pathways. So, if you feel stuck, how can you surround yourself with different people, either virtually or in real life? How can you surround yourself with a different space? I hope these tips were helpful, and I just want to say one more time, you deserve to live a big, beautiful life, and I wholeheartedly believe that you can live that life. And if you found this episode helpful, please share it with somebody that you think it would help too. No one deserves to feel stuck or burnt out, and I am really, really passionate about helping as many people as possible get out of that state. And you sharing the podcast is the thing that lets us keep producing amazing content for you. It is so appreciated and it

Starting point is 00:27:25 makes such a huge difference. So please just send a link to one person in your life. Okay, I love you and I will see you on the next episode of the Liz Moody podcast. Oh, just one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, a psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. Did you know that the average half-life of caffeine is five hours? Meaning if you drink a coffee or matcha at 3 p.m., you still have half of that caffeine in your system five hours later when you try to go to bed, which delays your melatonin release, and it

Starting point is 00:28:07 makes it harder to fall asleep and get deep sleep. But I also get slumpy in the afternoon, which is why it's a perfect time to reach for AG1. When I drink it, I feel instantly more awake with no jitters and no impact on my sleep later. AG1 is a foundational nutrition drink designed to support your whole body health. I think of it as the world's most bioavailable multivitamin, but then they went ahead and added all these extras like antioxidants, which my RD specifically told me to focus on after I got back some blood work, plus functional mushrooms that support immune health.

Starting point is 00:28:38 AG1 helps me maintain my energy, support my gut health, and keep my immune system strong even when life feels a little bit chaos. And the new next-gen formula is even better. They've added more vitamins, more minerals than ever, all clinically proven to help fill common nutrient gaps. So whether your routine looks different this season or you're just trying to stay consistent, AG1 is the one thing that has your back.

Starting point is 00:29:00 It has energy, gut health, immunity, nutrients, all in one glass. Visit drinkag1.com slash Liz Moody to get a free AG1 travel case with seven free AG1 travel packs in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash Liz Moody. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. One of the easiest micro habits to change your diet is to stop giving yourself the unhealthy

Starting point is 00:29:30 option, the option you don't want to reach for in the first place. So the key is to plan ahead and I do that by keeping IQ bars in my car and in my bag. So no matter how busy the day gets, I already have a smart, healthy option ready to go. These were one of the bars that my personal R.D. recommended for me as I worked with her over the course of a year to lose 30 pounds in a healthy way, and I truly, truly love them. This is the perfect time to try IQ Bar's ultimate sampler pack that includes brain and body boosting bars, mushroom coffees, and more. All of their products are entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial sweeteners. There's a reason why IQ Bar has over 15,000 five-star reviews and counting. It's because IQ bars have more fiber.

Starting point is 00:30:14 Fiber is going to be the word of the day this year. I promise you guys. They have more fiber, less sugar and carbs than other protein bars. And they actually somehow, even with all of that, still taste good, which is truly a miracle. Right now, IQ bars offering our special podcast listeners, 20% off all IQ bar products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text Liz to 64,000. Text Liz to 6400. That's Liz to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.

The Liz Moody Podcast - Steal This 3-Step Plan The Next Time You Feel Stuck

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