The Liz Moody Podcast - The 3 Simple Rules That Supercharged My Success

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Many of the positive changes we make in our lives start with thinking about ourselves differently, whether it’s finding the motivation to start a new workout routine or working up the courage to ask for a raise. In today’s mini-episode, I’m sharing the three mindset shifts that have absolutely transformed the course of my life and been a key to my success.  These mindset shifts cover everything from motivation to self-doubt to relationships, and each one has tons of individual applications to help you navigate new challenges. As always, these tips are based on my years of research on mental health and wellbeing and my conversations with experts. Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now!  To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. Connect with Liz on Instagram @lizmoody or online at www.lizmoody.com. Subscribe to the substack by visiting https://lizmoody.substack.com/welcome.  Check out our merch, including the NBTOTSNTY sweatshirt! This episode is sponsored by: AG1: visit drinkag1.com/lizmoody and get your FREE year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs today. Goodles: available nationwide at major grocery stores, Target, and Walmart or visit www.goodles.com. The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast.  This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 310. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, friends, and welcome to the Liz Moody podcast where every week we're sharing real science, real stories, and realistic tools that actually level up every part of your life. I'm your host, Liz Moody, and I'm a best-selling author and longtime journalist. When I think about how I have gotten to where I am today, there are three key mindsets and habits that spring to the surface, and I want to share those with you today. That is what today's episode is going to be all about. These are also things that I notice fairly consistently in the high performers that I get to meet an interview on the podcast, and they are universally applicable.

If you do, these three things, you will be moving the needle in a real way toward the life that you want to live. And I am not just talking about career success or financial success. I am talking about the kind of life that you wake up excited about living, the kind of life that feels aligned with your values and your goals, the kind of life filled with people you love and things that you love doing, which sounds good, right? Like we all, we're all going for that. So let's jump right in.

The first mindset shift is one that I attribute a ton of my personal success to. And it is one of my life mottos. Never be the one to say no to yourself. This has been the driving force behind so many of the opportunities that I have had in my life when I was a teenager and I wanted to write a weekly newspaper column. I could have told myself, that is insane. Why would they give a teenager a column? But instead, I told myself, they can say no if they want to, but I should at least give them

that opportunity because what if they say yes? And they gave me the column, which ended up being nationally syndicated and it gave me a huge boost in my writing career because by the time I'd graduated from college, I'd written a weekly column for like six years at that point, which not only gave me clips, it gave me something to put on my resume. And this is really important. It gave me discipline and experience. My college days were crazy. I did a lot of drugs and I mean a lot like I was popping whippets

and doing coke and smoking weed into the balloons that I was popping the whippets into, none of which I endorsed. And if I could go back and just ask so kindly for young Liz to take it a little bit slower and save some of those brain cells, I absolutely would. But even then, even when I was out till 5 a.m. partying on Molly, even when I was traveling by myself in Morocco and Argentina, in Bulgaria. I never missed a deadline. Every single week, that column was in my editor's inbox, and during that time, I learned so much about what it means to be a professional writer. It means, spoiler alert, writing. It means sitting down and doing the work even when you're not inspired. And this is probably the single biggest difference between the people I know

who are professionally successful in creative careers and the people who I meet. And the people who I meet, up with for drinks and they tell me they're going to write a novel someday. Writers write. They do it daily. They show up for the keyboard. They let their first drafts be crap, knowing that they can edit it later. And those six years when I was writing that column, I learned to be a writer. This is a huge, huge thing that not being the one to say no to yourself can give you. Even if your life follows a different path, I thought at the time I was going to be a novelist and an editorial writer, which is clearly not where my life is gone, even if you go in a different direction, not being the one to say no to yourself lets you gather the valuable skills that you will need as you move in the direction of your

dreams. Let me tell you another little story. When I was in my late 20s, Zach and I had just moved back from England where he got two master's degrees and I got extremagoraphobia that led to panic attacks whenever I got out of bed. We had no money. We had moved back in with his parents while he was trying to get his company off the ground and I was trying to get my mental health back. This is such an interesting time for me retrospectively because in the moment, I was so embarrassed. I felt like such a failure. I was living with my boyfriend's parents in my late 20s. But looking back, it was such a sweet time. I got to bond with my in-laws in a way that I never would have. of otherwise. And because I didn't have to pay rent, I had the space to start creating content for

social media. If you know my story, basically when I was in England and I was agoraphobic, I started emailing doctors and RDs and experts and cobbling together a sense of what was causing my anxiety and things that I could do to begin to feel better. So while we were living with Zach's parents, I began sharing what I had learned from all of those people on Instagram, which was just a photo app at that time. So I'd share like a picture of the work. I was doing that day for my brain, or I'd share like recipes that were based on the nutrition tips that I'd learn from all of the RDs that I was interviewing. And I want to point out, there are two never be the one to say no to yourself moment right there. The first is when I emailed

these experts in the first place, I could have said, why would they respond to me? And I want to be incredibly clear on this point. I was reading all of their papers. I was diving into their research and I was asking intelligent questions. This is like a hot bonus networking tip. There is actually nothing more annoying than people emailing you things asking you questions that are really easily Googled or just generally asking you for 10 minutes of your time. And you're like, for what? Am I just going to be sharing information that was in my book, that was in my podcast, whatever? Like go through all of the free materials that most people have put out into the world and then ask intelligent, specific.

questions based on that, you will get such better results. So I was asking these in-depth, engaged questions about their research. And also, I was completely fine if they didn't respond, and many, many of them did not. But I did not say no to myself. So I began to put together a plan from these people who did respond that completely turned my mental health around. And then the second way that I didn't say no to myself is the content creation portion. I could have said, why should I create content? There are a million people doing it. Why would people want to hear from me? But I figured, why say no to myself? Why not let the world say, nah, we're not interested. And then I can use that information and I can pivot. So I started

creating content and growing an audience. And then I started pitching these recipes that I was making two different publications, which was my third layer of never being the one to say no to myself. I could have absolutely been like, why would glamour want to feature my recipes? But instead I said, well, I'll let the glamour editors decide that. And they loved my unique take on functional food. And they published them. And then Gwenith Paltrow personally reached out and was like, I love your recipes. I would love to feature you on Goop.

And I worked with them for years. And then I reached out to women's health. And I worked with them on a healthy popsicle feature. And I was like, hmm, healthy popsicles. I haven't heard anyone doing that before. I wonder if that could be a book. And I could have said to myself, you're not qualified to write a book. You didn't go to culinary school.

You just started developing recipes. But instead, you might be sensing a theme here. You might be sensing a pattern. I decided to let someone else say no. And I researched book proposals. I spent weeks developing recipes. I put together a proposal. And I sent it around to agents.

And within a few weeks, the major publishing houses were in a bidding war for my book. signed my first book deal, which helped give me the money to move back to New York and to get a full-time job in the editorial world. I want to point out something incredibly important here. Throughout this, I was doing the work. I wasn't just asking the world for what I wanted and hoping that it would somehow come to me. No, part of saying yes to yourself is really committing to trying something. It's saying, I am going to put everything that I can into this indebted. ever. I am not going to be the limiting factor here. It's about learning everything you can, giving yourself as good of a chance as you can. One of my favorite, favorite, favorite things about

never being the one to say no to yourself is that no matter what happens, you are voting for yourself. You are your own biggest cheerleader. We cannot control the world. We cannot control other people. But what we can control is our belief in ourselves, the work that we put in, the way that we talk to ourselves. And never be the one to say no to yourself helps with exactly that. Not being the one to say no to yourself also doesn't mean that the world is always going to say yes to you. I've not gotten dozens, if not hundreds of jobs. I've had publishing houses pass on my books. I've had people pass on being on my podcast, and I've had tons and tons of people say that they don't want me on theirs. I probably have a 5% hit rate for the yeses that I get. But do you know what my hit rate

would be if I said no to myself? It would be 0%. That's where a lot of us are living right now. And that 5%, that is enough to change your life dramatically. One of the number one things that the most successful people in the world have in common is that they're not afraid to fail. They take risks, they get rejected, and they use that information to adjust accordingly, whether it's a small tweak or a big pivot. Never being the one to say no to yourself helps you get comfortable in that space of putting yourself out there, of potentially being rejected. And that skill is going to serve you in every single part of your life. And this philosophy works for so many people. Since I've started sharing never be the one to say no to yourself, I have heard from people who have gotten dream jobs,

people have gotten raises they didn't think were possible, people have gotten houses, people have gotten book deals, movie deals, husbands and wives. I could have seen Zach across the bar the day that we met and said, if he wants to talk to me, he will. I could have said, I'm too scared he'll reject me. Instead, I never be the one to say know yourself right across the room and I hit on him and now we have been together for 17 years. So I want you to ask yourself right now, what is one way that I'm saying no to myself and how can I turn that no into a yes? It could be in your personal life. It could be in your career, your friendships. What's one way that you can stop saying no to yourself? And please keep sending me your success stories.

They are an absolute highlight of my life. When you think about strength and resilience, like your ability to feel energized, to recover well, to stay strong as you get older. What do you think that actually comes from? Most people say working out or good nutrition, and yes, of course that matters. But there is a biological foundation underneath all of that that most people are completely overlooking. I have been diving deep into this lately with the team at timeline and what I've learned has genuinely shifted how I think about my own health.

Every single movement that your body makes, every step, every workout, every muscle contraction depends on energy produced at the cellular level. And at the center of that is your mitochondria. Here's the thing that nobody tells you, certainly nobody told me, starting around age 30, our mitochondria naturally become less efficient. More get damaged, more become sluggish, and over time, that impacts your energy, your strength, your recovery, and your resilience. Most of us respond by pushing more. We're like noticing these things and we're adding in more protein. We're trying to fix it with more supplements, we're trying to do harder workouts, and those things do help. But Timelines research suggests that we also need to be supporting the cellular machinery underneath. And that is exactly what

their supplement, Mitopure does. It contains Erolithin A, which helps your body clear out damage mitochondria and support healthier ones so that your cells can produce energy more efficiently. Because this is happening to your cells, it's going to impact your entire body, your immune system, your muscles. One study found that taking mitochondrial increased muscle strength by 12% in four months with no change in exercise routine. It's going to impact your energy, your sleep, your skin, your cell health impacts all of this, and urolithineA keeps your cells healthy. Timeline has done over 15 years of research and testing on this one product, urolithin A, which, by the way, most of us lack the gut bacteria to synthesize naturally. That's why many of us

need to supplement it to get the benefits. This has become a staple supplement for me. It is my top way to support how I want to look and feel as I age. Support yourselves and how you age with mitopure gummies from Timeline. Visit Timeline.com slash Liz and save up to 39% on your mitopure gummies. That is timeline.com slash Liz. When it comes to wellness, you're going to get the best results by focusing on the big needle movers. A lot of us spend a lot of time trying to optimize that last 1%, which creates a ton of stress and it actually doesn't help our health that much. At the top of the needle mover list, sleep. And one of the best ways to optimize your sleep is to optimize your mattress, which is why I love avocado green mattress so much. First of all, this mattress is so

comfortable. I have the one with the pillow top, which is medium firm, and it's just a dream. I miss it when I travel. It's better than even the fanciest hotel beds. Having a mattress that supports your joints and your body and feels good is going to help you get more sleep and better quality sleep. But then, on top of that, avocado mattresses are made with certified organic cotton, wool, and latex, and they are made safe and green guard gold certified. They're also Okotech certified, which is the gold standard. I look for it in any mattresses, sheets, or towels that I buy, which means the materials have been rigorously tested for harmful substances. You can actually look for the Okotech standard 100 label right on the product, and I love this part. It includes a traceable certificate number and the name of the testing lab so you know exactly what you're getting. There are no toxic chemicals, there's no harmful off-gassing, it does not smell like it's going to kill you when you unbox it.

This is what I mean. I'm not going to swap out all of my clothing, which is that top 1% of optimization. But by making sure that my mattress and my bedding are as good for me as possible, I literally reduce my exposure during a third of my life, which is a huge needle mover for a one-time swap. I will also note, and this is a me thing, but I sleep super hot and avocado's materials are, are really breathable, and it makes me sweat the least of any mattress that I have slept on. And avocado is a certified B-corp and a 1% for the planet member, because caring for yourself and caring for the planet do not have to be separate things. You can get up to 20% off organic mattresses and more by shopping Avocados Presidents Day Sale right now at avocadogreenmatress.com.

That is avocadogreenmatress.com, no code needed. I'm genuinely confused how masterclass gets literally the absolute top people in every single field to teach every single one of their classes. I use it when I want to learn things directly, like the cooking class from Thomas Keller has all of the wisdom that you would normally have to go to culinary school for. But also, I'm being honest, this is like a use case I don't hear a lot of people talking about. I'll just watch it for entertainment when I want to do something that's far more interesting than scrolling.

Christina Aguilera taught me to sing, Shan Boudrum's art of mastering confidence. in sex appeal class. It's 10 out of 10. There's menopause classes with leading doctors. There's script writing with Mindy Kaling. Literally, you name it, they're on masterclass. And it is such a good way to get off your phone, but have something that's like not quite as long or hard to get into as a TV show or a movie and that it just keeps you entertained and interested. And you are learning. There are over 200 classes from the world's best, all for just $10 a month when billed annually. and you get unlimited access to every class on the platform so you can learn at your own pace whenever you want on your phone, your computer, or even in audio mode like a podcast.

If you're looking to stop scrolling and start consuming entertaining content that makes you feel excited and helps you learn, Masterclass is it. And the best part, every membership comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee so you can start learning risk-free. Right now our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at Masterclass.com slash Liz Moody. That's 15% off at Masterclass.com slash Liz Moody, Masterclass.com slash Liz Moody. Moving on. The next shift that I want to share with you is based on a therapy tool called opposite action. One of the absolute keys to my success has been doing things that I wouldn't

normally do and doing them often. Because doing the same thing that you've been doing is leading to the same results. If we want to change, if we want to grow, we need to do something different. For example, I just started adhering to a morning routine pretty recently, like maybe embarrassingly recently. I honestly think that the wellness world ruined them for me for a very long time because I was like, look, I'm not going to wake up at 5 a.m. and take 500 supplements and do like two and a half hours of skin care and journaling or

whatever. But I finally realized that the point, the true purpose of a morning routine is to give back to yourself before you give to the world so you can feel how you want to feel all day long. And before I got consistent with the morning routine, there were many, many mornings where I felt sleepy when I woke up so I'd want to linger in bed, and then I'd grab my phone and scroll so I could linger longer, and then scrolling would make me feel anxious and depressed, and then that feeling would last all day long. And I realized actions lead to results.

My actions were leading to the results of me feeling depressed and anxious all day long. I needed new actions to lead to new results. So I asked myself, what is the opposite of what I'm doing so I can feel the opposite of how I've been feeling? It's no phone. It's not lingering in bed. Now a huge part of my morning routine is getting outside, doing my surfwalk before looking at my phone.

I also try to do hard things in the morning. I cold plunge, I do a strength workout. I do these things to set up my dopamine so I can stay motivated and productive all day long. Do I want to do the hard things? No, I mostly want to lay on the couch and eat these chocolates. But doing the hard things makes me feel the way that I want to feel. Now, with my new morning routine, I feel excited for the day. I get so much more done.

It is wild the difference between how much I get done on a day that I have a good morning routine and how much I get done on a day that I linger in bed and I scroll on my phone. And in general, if I don't start my day by scrolling on my phone, I feel less of an urge to reach for my phone to reach for little treats all day long, and that's because of that dopamine effect. The people I know who are the most successful in the world spend a lot of time doing the opposite of what they want to do. They are not magically interested in going to the gym or working on hard tasks. They're not immune to the addictiveness of social media or sugar. They just do the hard things anyway. People who wait for motivation will be waiting forever. People who choose

the harder path despite not wanting to do it, who let the action lead the motivation. Those are the people who find the highest levels of success. Another great use for opposite action is that it can be so helpful in doing things scared. Fear can be a really helpful emotion if, say, we need to run away from a dangerous situation. But it isn't always helpful or justified, especially when it's linked to past trauma. There's great science on behavior changing our emotions. It's called behavioral activation. If, say, you get flooded with anxiety before events, your fear might tell you to just stay home where it's safe. And if you do that, it reinforces to your brain that going out is indeed something that should prompt fear. Look how well it kept you safe by staying home. But if you take opposite action and

instead of canceling your plans, you go, you talk, you God forbid, you laugh, you have fun, your behavior will teach your brain that this is not a threat. And you can do this on a really micro level too. When you're out, you can approach new groups instead of hanging off to the You can insert yourself into the conversation if you would normally hang back. Let the behavior lead the emotion. The vast, vast majority of the time you will end up feeling so much better. And this opposite action trick, this behavioral activation trick, works in so many different situations.

If you're feeling down and you want to stay in bed all day, the opposite action is getting up, getting outside, moving your body. If you're feeling overwhelmed and you want to shut down, the opposite action is, you want to shut down, the opposite action is taking one small step forward. If you're scared of rejection and you want to hold back, the opposite action is putting yourself out there anyway. It is not about forcing yourself to feel different. It's about doing different so that feeling different becomes inevitable. Think about something that you're currently doing that's not creating your desired results and then ask yourself, what is an opposite action that you can try? And also just keep this one in the back

of your brain as an option to use throughout the day. So you can ask yourself as you go through the day, is this a good occasion to try opposite action? I use opposite action all of the time and it is a huge secret to not only my success in my career for things like productivity and putting myself out there, but also in my relationships, in my mental health, in my overall life. The last habit, the last shift that I want to talk about is curating community. And no, I am not just going to talk about the Harvard study of adult development, which showed that the single biggest predictor of long-term health and happiness was the strength and quality of our relationships. We love that study on the Liz Moody podcast.

No, I'm going to talk about two other things, and the first is social contagion. This is basically the idea that we are far, far more likely to do the things that people around us are doing. A Brown University study found that having a friend who gets divorced increases our likelihood of getting divorced by 75%. A Stanford study found that people who worked towards fitness goals in community exercised 78% more than people who win at it alone. Our behaviors, both positive and negative, are heavily influenced by the people around us, whether we realize it or not. I think a lot of us think about the positive impact of a community.

Like, wouldn't it be great to have someone to work out with or to have friends driven to do big things in their career? but the negative impacts of community are so much more insidious. If you're struggling with keeping up with healthy habits or hitting your career goals or with negative self-talk or with your relationships, first, of course, I want you to take accountability for your own actions and your behavior. I am not suggesting, I want to be so clear on this, I am not suggesting that we just blame everything on other people. But then, after you do that, I want you to look at the people you're surrounding yourself with

and I want you to ask yourself, how might the people that I am surrounding myself with be contributing to or taking away from my goals for health, happiness, and success in life? I was hanging out with a friend of mine recently. She is an entrepreneur. She's built a multi-million dollar business from the ground up. And more importantly, this is a business that just creates hugely positive change in the world. And this was not a business meeting.

It was just like a casual hangout. but I left so amped up about ideas for my business just by being around a person like that. And I realized how much that had been missing in my life. I hadn't been spending time with people who were dreaming big dreams and making those dreams come to life. And that had started to rub off on me. My dreams had gotten smaller. My goals had gotten smaller. And here's the scariest part.

I hadn't even noticed. When I hang out with my healthiest friends, I leave inspired to eat more veggies to move my body more. When I hang out with my most positive, uplifting friends, I am kinder to myself and to other people. I see the world through rosier tinted glasses. And by the way, this includes your partner. Choosing your partner has the single biggest impact on our daily habits, yet the vast majority of us don't even consider if that's an alignment when we're starting to date. There is so much research that supports this. If one partner starts exercising regularly, the other partner is much more likely to start exercising too. If one partner gains or loses weight,

the other partner is significantly more likely to follow suit. If one partner has poor sleep habits, the other is more likely to develop insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns. If one partner quits drinking, the other partner is far more likely to quit as well. And if both partners decide to cut back on drinking together, they are significantly. more likely to succeed. Our partners influence our happiness, our health, our stress levels, our performance at work, our longevity, our earning power. And yet movies have convinced us that we should pick them based on the amount of butterflies that we get. Chemistry is important. It's huge. But we also need to be saying to ourselves, this person is going to be the most

influential factor in the life that I create. Do I like the influence that they're going to have. And just before you freak out, it is never too late. If you have a willing partner, if you have a partner who is excited about the future that you can create together, you can use this research to your advantage and you can take on health habits together. That accountability is going to make you so much more likely to stick to your new habits. And as you start to find success, you'll rub off on each other. And that will just keep going and going and going. But the most successful people that I know are being very, very intentional about who they surround themselves with.

When I started to get intentional about my relationships instead of just accepting relationships of convenience, that supercharged my success in all arenas of my life. So just to recap, we've got never be the one to say no to yourself. Take opposite action and curate a very intentional community. I promise if you do one of these, you'll see a big difference in the success of your life. And if you do all of them, well, your world is going to completely change and I cannot wait to hear about it. If you know anyone who would love this episode of the podcast who needs to hear this message, please send them a link to listen. They can become part of your curated community and then you can supercharge your success together.

Also, we're able to bring you this show completely free because of the brands that you heard in this episode. I am so picky about the brands that I work with. I turn down 99% of the ones that reach out to me and like a zillion, truly a zillion supplement companies. And I stand behind every single recommendation that I make here. You can save money on amazing products while supporting the show by using the discount codes that we share. There's a full list of all of the ones that are active at lizmoody.com slash codes.

Lizmoody.com slash codes. Make sure that you hit that follow button on Spotify, Apple Podcasts. or YouTube. We have amazing new episodes every single Monday and Wednesday. And following means that they will show up right in your feed so you will never have to miss one. You can also watch full video episodes on Spotify and YouTube. So if you're watching, hello, thanks for hanging out. You can also come hang out on Instagram. I am at Liz Moody. I share tons of inspiring and always very real content and exactly how I am using everything that we learn on the podcast in my real life. Okay, I love you. I love spending this time together, and I will see you on the next episode of the Liz Moody podcast.

Oh, just one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, a psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. If you have headaches, allergies, brain fog, skin irritation, or you've been dealing with hormone issues, you are especially going to want to listen to this ad. Every single thing that I just listen to, has been linked to chemicals and household cleaners. One study found that regular use of cleaning sprays was associated with a lung function decline comparable to smoking 10 to 20 cigarettes per day.

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