The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Booty Call

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

This week on The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast, the guys discuss “Booty Call” with Alicia Keys from Season 35, Episode 11, featuring host Charles Barkley and musical guest Alicia Keys. Plus, some reactions to Seth’s big Taylor Swift episode and updates on Nic Cage on Update—and a few surprise guests! Booty Call | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7ZhFa8ePPY MacGruber: Sensitivity Training | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPNZv8J94uA&t=50s Reel Quotes Game Show | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNJF8mWbG9A NBA on TNT: Danny Hoover | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aijfxOEBrcw The Haney Project: Charles Barkley | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdsyGXZ1e9A Scared Straight: Trespassing with Charles Barkley | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PIkJnZmd4Q Somewhere over the Rainbow - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1INot all the clips we mention are available online; some never even aired.Send us an email: [e-mail] us a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/thelonelyislandSend Jorma stuff: P.O. Box 4024New York, NY 10185Photos and everything else can be found by following us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod Wild AlaskanGet $35 off your first box of wild-caught, sustainable seafood—delivered right to your door. Go to: https://www.wildalaskan.com/ISLANDNaked WinesTo get 6 bottles of wine for $39.99, head to NakedWines.com/ISLAND and use code ISLAND for both the code AND PASSWORD. VuoriGet 20% off your FIRST purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com/ISLANDWonderful PistachiosGrab a bag today. www.wonderfulpistachios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you guys talking about a thing I know But on the other time Myrish podcast show Are you guys recording? Because I want to say something Oh, well, I'm recording. I'm recording. Okay.

We can hear you through the computer, You're still part of it. We had a really funny comedian Caleb Heron on our show. I don't know if you guys know Caleb Heron. But he has a podcast and he's also a consummate podcast guest.

And then he was on my show and said, you know, but the thing is, I would never listen to a podcast. And I was like, oh, I got somebody. That sounds like my kind of person, yeah. But he's constantly on podcasts? I go, I do a podcast from Andy Sandberg.

Every episode he talks about how he hates podcasts. And he goes, oh, my God, I would love to hear him, but I can't because I'm not going to listen to your podcast. If he wants to hear about it, it can be either from you or firsthand for me. Yeah. He was very funny. He said, it's like, it's like when I go to a concert, I'm like, I should be up there. He's like, I don't hate the format.

I just like, why don't I don't listen to somebody else do it? Why am I watching them? Yeah. Lauren was very funny this week. I don't know why he was talking to me of a podcast, but he did say, he goes, I don't listen to them because, you know, New York. I was like, what? Huh?

And then he was like, because, you know, you can't listen to anything in York because, you know, they'll kill you. Is he thinking, like, if he puts in headphones on his walk to 30 Rock, he'll lose, he won't be aware of his surroundings. Or like, people. He does walk. He does walk to 30 Rock every day. He does. You're kidding.

Yeah, I had no idea that that was accurate. Again, Lauren, we've established. We've all been on walks with him. You think when he gets to New York, he stops? I'm not saying she's not someone who is capable of going on walks. I've been on walks with him. I thought he only did that in L.A. Or like Vancouver.

Hot Rod Ruff. Here's a Lauren story that is not for the pot, but hopefully we can come back to it right at the end just to hear your reaction. Okay. Okay. All right. Thanks for the call. It worked. Yeah.

It was a real like, oh, it's cool. Thanks, yeah. This was great to hear from you. How quickly after that did he hang out? Pretty soon, pretty soon. All right, bye. Man, if we do what you suggested, that's going to be a frustrating listen. Oh, man.

I think it'll be fun. People are going to be like, what was it? I want to know. Give me the dirt. Congrats on your big show, Seth. Thanks. I know you were anticipating, you know, the way you were acting on it was like, hey, and to all the new viewers

who are just here for this episode. Yeah. And did that, was that true in hindsight? We haven't seen the full numbers yet, but I will say the audience was the most there for a guest by design. Of course. We tried to do vetting to make sure that it was only true swifties who were there to enjoy it.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the introducing the interns bit. We do feel like there's a Swifty level fandom now for introducing the interns. People started chanting. That's my shit. The interns, the interns are playing four nights at the forum. It's crazy.

I will say we don't do, she was a guest for three segments, which meant she was sitting for two commercial breaks, super rare. And during those commercial breaks, we were pumping in Taylor Swift songs, and the entire audience was singing them while she sat on the chair singing along with the audience. And it's weird to have Taylor Swift on your show and not have her do a song, but I actually thought, if you were a Swift fan, that is maybe cooler, just to be doing a sing-along with Taylor Swift.

Just with her. Yeah. Oh, man, Seth, I thought you were to say that, like, during the commercial bike, she just powered down, head down, not looking at anyone. They sang while they saw her music. She just stared at her feet. Well, that's how I am when I'm on your show, Seth.

We go to commercial, and it's like I... Powered down. I go on my phone, as they say on, I think you should leave. Basically catatonic. Yeah, like a robot shutdown. We have to hold out a little drool cup for you. And he's back. Sorry, I go so hard on the bits.

I got to recuperate in between. Seth, I liked your outfit. Thank you. I just noticed it was similar to Doug or Steve Butabi. I'm not sure which guy was which one. Which was which guy. And the Roxbury guys, I wanted to dress up a little bit, so I didn't look like a schlub next to Taylor. I didn't know what you was going to wear.

A bunch of new people showing up watching. But I assumed she was going to dress to the nines, which, of course, she did. And at the same time, I didn't want to go full suit. And so I wore an outfit that I was really happy with. And then afterwards, a bunch of people were like, you looked like one in the night of the Roxbury guys. And that is entirely true. I think it's to you guys. You just were missing the chain.

The chain, they only have, there's only three elements to their thing. So you were two out of three. So that's, in some ways, not even close. Yeah. It's hard. That tweener outfit between full slub and full suit, not a lot of options. Every time I get invited to, like, a daytime wedding, I can't. figure it out. It just has to be full suit or else I look like like an agent. You need a

summer suit or like a linen suit. Yeah. Okay. This is a forced tangent. But because we're talking about exactly this, I looked like a real schlub recently. I couldn't figure out, granted, I'm in a wheelchair. Yeah. So that helps me in a way. Because if I'm full schlub, it's like, if you judge me, it's your fucking fault. But went to my brother's record listening party that happened in New York. There was also one in L.A. Maybe some of you guys went to that, not sure. But it just came out today. Electric guest. This is my plug. Start off the show with the plug. That's what they say in podcasting. You should. Yeah, let's promote the heck out of it. Electric guest 10K. The album is fucking great. So I just want to say that. Jump. Chester sent us some

nice videos from it. We did not make it. But Chester was there with Asa. I do want to say one thing, though. Eric Andre was there. And that guy is a fucking piece of shit. I don't want to like just like put him on blast here, but was really rude, was constantly saying that I was doing this whole thing for attention. Oh, the wheelchair. And I'm not, okay? I was in a fucking wheelchair. And if Eric, you're listening, then fuck you, bro. I had a moment where, uh, and I'm sorry, because I, obviously, you know the outcome, which is I, I didn't make it out to Brooklyn for the listening part of Yorne, but Yoram said, what are you doing on Tuesday night? And I actually got a little excited because I was like, oh, maybe Yorm wants to get dinner. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, maybe Yorne wants to get

dinner at like six o'clock at night. Yes. And I'll get Shoemaker and we'll sit with your arm. I'll get to catch up with him. You and Keith both just got a little excited. I still would like to do that. And there's another guy. Hey, you make that 5 p.m.

And I'm a full boner over here. I just wanted to be late enough that people see I hang out with my wheelchair friend. Like, I don't want to waste it at a time when nobody's eating. Oh, so you're on the other end of the fucking. Yeah, I'm opposite to Andre. Yeah. But instead, I was like, oh, let me check. Why?

What do you got? to Yorm, because again, I didn't want to say I'm fully open, because with Yorm, there's always a chance he's going to be like... I go fishing. My brother's doing a listening party for his new album in Brooklyn, and then Yorne goes, it starts at 9, but I'm going to

get there late. First of all, it started at 7, but it started late. And I'm like, Ben, I'm not going to see you, man. You know what? In retrospect, that was a hard ask for Seth in particular. Also, Yorma is wearing a Yale sweatshirt. Did you read it, though?

No, what does it say? I got my pelvis fixed at... Oh, Yale. That was the name of the hospital. Because he was in New Haven at that point. It's Emily Heller. Shout out to Emily Heller, who sewed this on there. She added it on that.

I got my pelvis fixed. Yeah, that's pretty rad. That's awesome. I got my pelvis fixed here. Quick cleanup from some comments that were left. And they were all comments about Yorne. Okay. I love it.

You had to say, in the ad reads, people feel as though the ad reads are a lot of triggering things to the experience you just went through. one of the ads had the line fall is a reset and someone said i can't believe they made him say that since a fall was a reset of his pelvis somebody else said i felt bad for yorm having to read that rag and bone ads since his bones were recently turned to rags and then the other one is that when someone's not on the podcast on the youtube it just puts a red x over the person who's not there and like after you're

York's recent thing. Maybe we don't put a red X over York. Like, that's a wrap? I like that when you... Just make a new graphic. I like that when you said clean up things. And you said it was about me. I thought there were going to be questions.

I was so excited to answer. But those were just great comments. Yeah. Also, looping back to the Nick Cage, during the Nick Cage, Andy, you screamed, pressed the shard into the engraving. Multiple people thought that was Optimus Prime coded. Oh.

Oh, probably is. The timeline works. I mean, yes, but also very nice. National Treasure Coded. Yeah. If we're using coded speak. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I love that one so much, by the way. We talked about a cube job is when somebody draws a picture of you and you look like Mark Cuban. Yeah. But also, people say a cube job is also when somebody pushes a cube into your chest. Oh, my God. Of course. Yeah, that mean, Optimus Prime is always asking for a cube job. He wants a cube job.

He's always asking for a cube. Tick Tapper. Hey, in the chat. Oh, go ahead. Make me look like cube in my chest. Nah, that's a dud. Let's keep it in, though. No matter what, keep it in.

Oh, yeah, I would leave it in there. All right, Tapper took another run at it. It's in the chat. Oh. Because he tried to do better. I still think he made me fat-faced your arm a little. Oh, but it's so great, though. Oh, it's color now?

You've got to be happier. Oh, I look a little bit like, do I look like Higgins a little bit? I want to speak on this. You look like John Higgins. You look like Jahn Higgins. You look like Higgins. Keev looks like Kenward. Yeah.

And I look more like me, but also still decidedly like Mark Cuban. Like, it's fucking, I think that maybe Tapper just thinks I look like Mark Cuban. And then Seth, he made your hair, your hair now. He took out way of the long. But it's also my, it's like my bygone hair. It's like my hair from like, I don't know. Yeah, his reference might be older. If I find out he's been doing this in like mid-journey or something, I'm going to be so ticked.

I think he's a really good artist. Yeah, and he colored it in. It's really good. It kind of looks like a thin comic book guy from The Simpsons. Oh, and one last thing, because Yorm, you said that the Nick Cage should have aired. I got a voice note unsolicited from Nick Cage. And this is not a person who loves the spotlight. But Alex Bays sent me a voice note, and he said, feel free to play it on the podcast or not,

because he wanted to defend himself against the allegations that he was the person cutting stuff. Oh, okay. I thought it was going to be about him being on celebrity whole. I want to hear it more than anything to hear how his voice sounds based on both of your impressions last week. Oh, that's part of it, too. I mean, you know him. Yeah, but I can't remember now. Oh, okay.

I hope he defends himself about loving celebrities. By the way, I think we're all about to be so molded because I looked at the rundown from the Barclay episode, and I think it aired. Oh, the cage? Yeah. I think you guys did it the week after. Oh, my God. Wait. Is that right?

That's what it sure looks like. Yeah, let's pull up the episode. That kind of makes sense, because I thought it. it did, but maybe I was thinking in different weeks. Hey, Quaid's, this is Bays, long time Quaid Army, first time smint or what the fuck ever. I just wanted to drop a voice note so that Seth and Andy can work on their fucking impressions. This is what I sound like. Mine was good.

Yeah, it's pretty good. And also to disabuse Andy of the notion that somehow I cut his Nick Cage feature. I don't know if you quite believes that, but for clarity's sake, what we always did was update was super long at dress. And then I would have a meeting with Lorne afterwards where he would say, how long was update? I'd say, oh, it ran like 19 minutes. And then he would say, well, I need it to be 1120. And I go, okay. And then I'd go to Seth and Shoemaker and say, you know, Lauren wants update to be 1120.

What should we cut? And then they would tell me, there's no world in which the two of them looked at me and said, I don't know, Bays, what should we do? I knew it. So, also, Andy, if somehow I was responsible for cutting your feature, let's look at the world since then. You know, you've gone on to have an illustrious career in television and movies and music. and I'm here in a little freezing cold office

still writing jokes for Seth so who won, bud? There's a bunch of fair points. Super fair. Sorry, Bays, I love you, buddy. Especially now that it's dawning on us that it may be aired a week later. Also, Seth, you piece of shit, you cut my feature, man.

I did, you can put it on me now. Bays a delight. God damn, that was funny. It was a great, I mean, it's great Bays. I thought he was to say that Lauren made all the decisions and threw Lauren on the bus stop. No, Lauren doesn't want that weight on him. He's just like, hey, hey, cut it down X amount. Lorn decides to go

from like 19 to 11, 20. That's his decision. Yeah. And I think that's fair. I think so, too. He's like, you know, ultimately, like, I appreciate that Lauren gave us the choice. This is, apropos of nothing. Oh, man. Oh, yes. I'm You thought I wasn't going to gate crash

you shit, motherfucker. What's up, Jamie? Yeah, boy. What are you wearing? Not only a gate crash. I'm in the middle of a bike ride. I don't stop my date crash. This guy is a multitasker.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Black has entered into the Zoom, and he's on a bike. I fucking zip. I gate crash right through the streets of Los Angeles. Which one of you fucking? I just wanted to crash into your shit and tell you I miss you. And I love you. and I hope you're having a tremendous

Zoom and that you promote this shit out of your genius movie. Love you guys. Love you, buddy. Thank you. Do it. Wow. How do I hang up?

No, no, no. I can't hang up. If I hang up right now, I'm a fracking guy. I fucking actually crash. That would be horrible. We've already had enough accidents on this podcast. We're going to see that sky behind him flipping in 360. Yeah, seriously.

No more accident. Talk amongst yourselves. I'm going to hang up in due course. This is a podcast. That's all we. do. This is a disaster. What should you go on? It's not safe to bike ride

in L.A. L.A. is like the least bike-friendly town. Yeah. I'm in Brooklyn. No, he's doing a tight five. I go on the sidewalks. Yeah. Because no one's walking on the sidewalk anyways. Oh, he pulled over. He stopped. Love you guys. Love you. Love you, buddy. There you went.

Wait, who threw him the fucking Keith? I did. I'm going to tell you what's so surreal about that is I was just on a train with my boys and they were watching the second Jumanji movie and laughing harder than I've ever heard them laugh before. Those are both very good. They're great.

I have a bone to pick, though. Didn't want to call it Tumangi? Yeah, that's fair. Just like... Yeah, just left that there. Every time I see the poster, I'm like, fuck them. How often is that? Move that two in front of it.

You fucked it up. Spilled gold. I told Jack that. Like, at this point, I don't even care. what the movie's about. Oh, my God. Do you want the third one to be Jumontre? I do not.

Okay. But it would be super funny if they skipped the second one and then went straight to that. Support for the Lonely Island and Seth Myers podcast comes from Airbnb. I wish I'd roped Liz into this because it's her parents when her parents come to town. You know, we have a guest room, but it's quite small for two people to stay in and then they're in your kitchen and stuff like that. And they're lovely. But, you know, it's nice to have a little extra space.

she has taken upon herself to find them their own space on Airbnb nearby and they love it because they borrow one of our cars or rent a car and they live over there and they can watch their TV as loud as they want and they can do what they want but then when they come over to us they're cheery-eyed and bright because they aren't invading our space and feeling bad about it they well that's what you want from parents uh to be able to like oh my god yorm you're here you scared the shit out of me sorry i was here the whole time uh that's what you want from parents or or parents-in-law, for them to be bright-eyed, bushy-tails, so you can just hand them your kids and be like, get gone.

Well, I love staying and welcoming homes that I book on Airbnb, but it's got me thinking my home could do the same for someone else. You've been to my house, Yorm. What would you pay for my house? $1,000. I'm not good with prices. Sold! Come over here and give me $1,000, and I'll go somewhere else.

I already put love into all the details of my home. Why not help someone feel comfortable and taking care of while they're traveling when I'm away from home? Think about it, Yorm. if you host your home on Airbnb while you're traveling, it's a great way to offset some of the costs of your own trip. The extra income you make could be put towards an upcoming trip of your own. Your home might be worth more than you think.

Find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. Support comes from naked wines. You know, wine makes such a lovely gift, both in the holiday season and really any season. I remember the last time I had a nice bottle of naked wine. It had been sent to me by Andy. after my dog frisbee died and i said this is so nice of you to send me wine to help get over my pain and he said oh i sent it to you so you could celebrate you guys naked wines is a wine club

that directly connects you to the world's best independent winemakers so you can get world-class wine delivered straight to your door use our code island for the code and password at nakedwines.com and get one hundred dollars off your first order that is six bottles of wine for just 3999. How do they do it, you ask? Naked brings you amazing wines straight from the winery at up to 60% less than what you would pay in store by cutting out extra costs like middlemen markups. Wymakers can pass those savings onto you without skipping on quality and now is the time to join the naked wines community. Yes, right now. Head to nakedwines.com slash island. Click enter voucher and put in my code island for both the code and password for $100 off your first order. That's six

bottles for only $39.99 with the shipping included. That's $100 off your first six bottles at nakedwines.com slash island and use the code and password Island for six bottles of wine for $39.99. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.com. Fred left me a voice note that was complimentary about some a closer look I did but I just want to play it for you because it's when you see you've got a 30 second voice note from Fred

it was like beyond my wildest dreams of how much I enjoyed listening to it shit mayors oh this is Homer Simpson I want donuts oh more um set that um a closer look about Portland was great. I miss you, buddy. I really do. Hopefully I'll get to see you soon. Oh, wait, here's Homer again. I wanted to say hi, too.

I hope there's donuts. Wow. What a great human being. Not a bad Homer at all. Not a bad Homer. Not a bad Homer. Not a great Homer either, though, I've got to say. Oh, okay.

Fred used to do that bit where he'd come to the read-through table and say he had just been cast as all the voices on the Simpsons. That's right. And he would be, like, in shock because he was so happy. But then he would do the Sims of voices, and they were all a little off. Like, he would go, oh, no. Yeah, he wouldn't say, dumb. Oh, no.

Yeah. Fred also, after table reads, would go, you guys, what do you worry about? Nothing gets cut. Everything gets picked. Everything always works out. Everything always airs. That's my favorite phrase of his. Everything always works out.

I say it a lot to myself. It's also, like, a fundamental principle of Fred's comedy. True. It's the complete, the complete, absence of conflict. Did it air? While you were talking, yeah, I just,

sorry, I can't quite get my thing around. I went on Peacock, found the Charles Barkley episode. So, here's mud in my eye. Yeah. The Nick Cage that I was so bent out of shape about, and frankly disparaged my dear friend, Seth,

and also Bayes. Unjustly, we now know, did in fact air the following week. However, check the tapes. Seth set us up for this. I believe last week, Seth, did the whole preamble being like, look at what was here, it didn't air.

And then we were like, whoa, really? Yeah, man, that should have aired. I think we were misled. So I maybe fucked you twice, like once from cutting it and then again from making a bitch about it. Like a mean girl in high school, like, hey, you know what she said about you? Aren't you fucking pissed about that?

Wait, we should go punching the thing. Why would Bays do that? This is good. Yeah, stirring the pot. Why would you do that? Just pure stirring the pot. Well, then I don't apologize. You guys, I'm confused and scared. No, yeah, it's such.

It's a massive amount of great things in this Charles Barkley show. I was looking at that rundown thinking the same, that it was a really fun show. It's my all-time favorite McGruber. Oh, I agree. Which one was it? I like this one in Financial Rune. Racial sensitivity, McGruber. Oh, the one with Barclay.

Yeah, he's so good in it. So good. It's perfect. It's a perfect McGruber. Thank you. Each beat is better than the rest, and it's completely self-contained and wonderful. Yeah. Barkley is so fucking funny.

He's amazing and Will is so perfectly horrible. I mean, Charles Barkley, no one would be surprised to hear, but is, in fact, so fucking funny. Yeah. Just in general, an absolute anomalous person. The more I look at this tapper drawing and the chat guys, the more I'm impressed with his skills. It's very good.

I don't want to just poop on it. It's very good. It's true. It's still a cube job. And some people really want to. Never thought I was going to get cubed again. I feel like we should just watch I watched it with Shoemaker

No memory of booty call from my end Really? Yeah This is a unique one because I'm gone Yeah For the first time really The very brief version of it is I got offered a movie

And I thought it was exciting And I thought I could maybe Kind of do both a little bit But I had to bail early And I went and got permission from Lorne And I said any shows I miss I'll tag on the end of my contract And he was really gracious about it

And was like all right and it was in L.A., and in short, it had Jason Siegel and Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman and would have had somebody else as well, and it could have been cool. And I came out to L.A. for two months and rewrote with them, and then it ended up not happening. And so I only missed four shorts. Did we decide, Andy? Four? I can't remember. But I basically missed this and then the next four shows. And part of the deal with Lorne was he was like, you got it, because Yorne was so busy with McGruber, too.

He's like, you have to find somebody else to replace you while you're gone. And the three of us had met a fellow named Jonathan Chrysle multiple times who was doing Tim and Eric Awesome Show. Yeah. And he was also doing, I mean, that's how we met him, right? Yeah. And then, but I don't think we poached him necessarily. I think they were on hiatus.

I don't think we took him from a job. Yes. And we always liked him, and he was cool. And, like, for instance, that thing we talked about where they had come to our house and played tennis with the flight of the concords. Like, he was the one directing that and stuff. So we had hung out with him. And we thought he was up to it.

And so we called him. And he was down. Yeah, so he came. And so we actually had a bunch of overlap episodes after. Because when I came back early, it's not we were like, bye, you're fired now, even though we told you'd be here for a while. So we even coded some later. And he shadowed on some of the previous ones.

He was there a week before this for a few weeks, as I, like, showed him the ropes. I forgot that. And I think he actually did one one of those weeks that we haven't talked about, some side thing. I can't remember what it was. But anyways, he was so well liked. That's why he ended up making. Portlandia. He is the third person of Portlandia with

Kerry and Fred, obviously. I mean, we love Chrysler. He's the best. The part of the story that I did not know, Kee, is that you offered to tack episodes on to the end of your contract. That's very savvy. Yeah. I think that might have been a Lorne thing. If you're missing these, then do them later.

I don't think I came up with that. Who came up with the punitive part of the deal? And then just to see Chrysel's praises a little bit more, he went on to create baskets with Galfanakis. He's a very prolific dude. He's always doing stuff.

If we went to his IMDB, there'd be a ton of more stuff. He's always working on something. And he has one of the best and most unique vibes. Yes. In a place full of people with great unique vibes, like Chrysle kind of stood out. That's very true, yes. It is his own, but it is like the way that when you see like a Tim Burton, you're like, whoa, that's a unique person.

There's a little Tim Burtony wild hair. but it's his own thing. Yeah, very, like, grounded, easy to talk to and sweet. Like, I think when you first, if you saw a headshot only, you'd be like, I feel like this guy's going to be inscrutable. Yes. And then he was just a dude who love comedy. A wild artist.

Yeah, he's great. Yeah, he kind of goes against your hair theory. Wasn't it your hair theory, Keith? Yeah, like that your hair shows what's inside your brain? Yeah, it only really works for people in their 20s who have control of what their hair looks like. Oh, I see. But, but, like, Andy's hair was big and frazzed, and he was like a big Muppet. And then other people's were like,

like thin and then yeah i love this there yeah well chrysal no exception to the rule okay so then and so me so i wasn't even there this week yorm you were but you were clearly doing the gruber yeah distracted so this is that andy chrysal joint yeah through and through and the musical guest was alicia keys which we were clearly gassed about because we were big fans but we didn't have the infrastructure or pre-written thing to do a song which i still wish we had but sometimes it just doesn't pan out and so so I came up with this yeah when your other

partner fucks you on the music front I guess this is what happens she's as good in this non-singing role as she would have been in a singing role she's fantastic she gets the assignment a hundred yes I do recall being like whoa she's really good and it's making it way

funnier yeah I don't know what where it came from I know it was my idea and I was just it's the most handy thing I was shocked to line didn't write it with you. But I have a question as well. He pitched in a few jokes, but according to him, Ian Chrysler wrote it. Did she know what your lines were, or did you just have her record?

She knew. We showed her and her team the script, but then also, I was on set reading the off camera. Oh, that's even better. Because she plays it like she has no idea what the other person's saying. Correct. But she was hearing me do it in the voice, really stupid. And to her credit, was just locked in. And then when we would yell cut, she would laugh. So she's definitely just

100% of control on it all. She should be in four movies a year based on this performance. All right, I'm hitting it. Music already great. That was a crazy night. Man, I'm a little tipsy. Should I call him?

No, I gotta stay strong. Well, maybe just this one. Oh, God. Hello! Hey, it's me. Oh, crap. Hey, girl, what is up? Just got in?

What's you doing? Nothing much. Just macking on this cookie dough and watching Boston Legal. That's cool. I was thinking maybe if you wanted to, you could come over. Hold up. Is this a friggin' booty call? Yeah, I guess it is.

That is so scandacious. And it fully works out because I'm super horny. Oh, where? Heck yeah, word. It's like I'm ovulating, but the dude version, what are you wearing? You tell me first. Oh, you mean over the diaper?

But I really got this sweet, roughly, shirt. Pretty loose fit, because my nipples are just shredded from running. That's flat. So I know it's a little crazy, but you want to read out? Oh, yeah, girl. Oh, yeah, please. Oh, this is my favorite shit ever. Holy fuck.

This is my favorite version of Andy. Really enjoy how you eat the cookie dough off the spoon. Again, no male comic or female comic has done more jokes about the current state of your nipples. This is macking on cooking dough. A lot of that didn't air, though, Seth. You got to keep that in mind. Right. I'm just saying, like, it was a constant, like, font of inspiration for you.

I was just so happy I got the word Scandotious on national television Oh, I know Yeah, that's a real accomplishment Every backstory of your character is like Where's the nipples What are his nipples?

Okay, so he's a bummer, right? But in what way? Did it affect his nipples? He's aware of them in his shirt I know this character is... Are they soft and wet Or are they dry and scratchy? I gotta know how to pull it.

play it from running too he's he exercises he's got a body but he also wears a diaper over the diaper there's a lot of information and a bright yellow like blouse three musketeers shirt you say over the diaper like people have asked you in the past and you've started with diaper and they've been like no no no no no we're asking over the diaper yeah also also in that same way of things being just like swept past you like way quicker than you can laugh at them Her saying, that's fly. Yeah, that's fly is my favorite part. Yeah.

That's fly. It is not, Alicia Keys. It is not fly. Not fly at all. Also, the old-ass cell phone for some reason. Just dumb. Boston legal. Yeah, that was a Klein.

That's a client, yeah. Because you guys wrote this as a phone call fully and you have such different lighting, it really also feels like the best MTV Movie Awards thing, like, as if you took. And because it's got that you don't know my name music, it sounds like, Like, it feels like she had a really long, like a 10-minute music video with a lot of her being sexy on the phone. And you went, what if it was me she was talking to? Yes. It's when they repeat dialogue or things that you're like, ooh, I guess they were really talking to me.

It gives you this surprise. It feels like maybe you stole the footage of her. I was going to say, it's an achievement unto itself to make it seem like we're just cutting me into something that was arguing. Yeah, that she had to listen to this in real life. God, I honestly am a little. I mean, it's not too late. We need to get Alicia Keys in something to Seth's point of how good she is.

Oh, my gosh, murdering it. Here we go. Heck yeah, girl. Hey, you want to do a three-way? I guess I'll try anything once. Okay, sounds good. Okay, Dana, we're on three-way. What?

It's me, your grandson, Lionel. And then also, Alicia Keys. Cheryl T. No, Alicia Keys. It's your grandson. You got a booty call from Gary Sinise. Bye, honey. That was cool.

I know. Also, I drew you a maze on graph paper. I'll show it to you when I come over. It's got heck of booby traps. That's sexy. Uh, no, dur. Side note, my penis is super dinky. You'll see.

I admire your honesty. Ooh. You know what? I actually don't think I'm gonna come over, actually. Why? Well, I'm kind of at this intervention for my friend. Yeah, we're trying to get him to stop doing smack. I'll be off in a second.

But do me a favor, save yourself for me. Okay, bye. Oh, God. Oh, wow. That has so many wonderful, Andy. Just, you got dinky in there. So the Boston Legal. The Boston Legal.

Don't bring up Boston Legal logic problems, Keith. The Boston Legal, the main problem I have is that he was walking Boston Legal. That can't be the takeaway. He could have been doing both. Andy, I feel like that guy. Of all, of all your characters that you ever played. Yeah. Who has the least dinky wang?

You know what I'll say, Seth? Of all the jokes, all these years later, that's the one I would have lost. Didn't need the dinky weeder. Well, that, because, like, you said, like, you know, the nipple stuff didn't make it into a bunch of them. I think dinky wang at that point did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's been in stuff. Save yourself for me is funny to me.

Save yourself for me. Yeah. Yeah, I also like just that it's like a frequency chef in the performance, which is very, Nice. Thanks, Keith. Also, you brought, we find out retroactively that you brought Cookie Doe to intervention. Yeah, that's right.

And I answered a phone call loudly. And also, I'm watching Boston Legal at the intervention in your face, Keith. Makes perfect sense. There's a couple nice moments when it's in the split screen with the grandma where it, like, goes into a close-up of your mouth saying one of the lines. And I wonder. It's a very nice Chryssel touch. Yeah, it's a nice Chrysle touch.

I wonder if there was any music video-y thing we were, that you guys were referencing at all that did those sorts of things. It could be. But it's nice regardless. It's just a nice little build. I didn't love seeing my teeth that close, but that's a whole other thing. It fits with what you're saying in the moment and stuff. You're right.

You're saying, I have big teeth, right? That's what I heard. I don't mean big necessarily, so much it's like, you know. Support comes from the Wild Alaskan company. When was the last time you truly trusted the seafood you brought home? I used to question everything from nutrition and taste to sustainability to where do the man, who sold me this fish in a plastic bag, get his white van. And then I discovered the Wild Alaskan Company. Wild Alaskan Company is the best way to get wild caught perfectly portion nutrition-dense

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Visit wonderfulpastatios.com to learn more. Actually, guys, I got a voice note from Jonathan Chrysville, director and co-writer of the short. Let's listen to that. Okay, so the story of the booty call Digital Short with Alicia Keys for me starts, like on the Tuesday of that week. I'm in Los Angeles. I get a call. Hi, this is Steve Higgins from Saturday Night Live. We would like you to come work on the show. I'm like, wow, this is amazing. I'm very excited. And like, yeah, maybe like I could start in like two weeks or like a month. And he goes, no, no, you have to get on a plane tonight. I'm like, oh, okay. And he's saying, did you ever think that there would be a moment in your life when your life actually begins? And I'm like, what? He goes, this is that moment. I'm like, oh, okay.

So, fine, that's happening. I get on the plane and come out. So Andy's showing me around the 17th floor. Like, it's just a whirlwind for me. I'm just like half lost, like, so many people, so many places. And I remember he showed me like, oh, you can cut through the 17th floor if you just swipe into this hallway. And I'm like, oh, this is cool. And then later I was kind of wandering by myself.

I'm like, oh, let me cut through this hallway. Of course, you need a key card, which I didn't have yet. So I got trapped in this very strange pass-through hallway, sort of like emergency exit place. And I had to text him or Rachel, who are the producers of digital shorts, and say, hi, I'm trapped in like a hallway and I can't get out because if you don't have a key card, you can get in, but you can't get out. So I had to be rescued. So then we're sitting around, Charles Barkley, I'm pretty sure was the host, but Alicia Keys was the singer.

And for some reason, we just kept talking about Alicia Keys. She had a song, You Don't Know My Name, that I think, you know, maybe was out in the few months before. And there was this part in the middle. It's a kind of breakdown where she talks. And so her character in the song is a waitress. She works at this diner. And this guy comes in every day and she notices him. But he doesn't notice her.

You don't know my name. And then in the music video, it's Most Deaf plays the guy. And, like, you get to see this awesome part where she does this call. She calls him somehow. She's like, you don't know who I am, but I work at the diner. But she does it in the coolest way possible. But because it's only her side of the conversation, it's just a little bit funny. So then we were talking about that and just going like, well, that seems like a good start of something funny.

And then I think it was, well, what if Andy would be on the other side of that call being the antithesis of the sultry smooth Alicia Keys would be just a good start. conceit. So a script kind of came together and then, you know, kind of got into the production pipeline and they're like, Alicia's available Friday night at midnight, which to me coming from a completely other world of production of like, we'll plan this for a couple of weeks, you know, whatever. And so this is like shooting something at midnight on a Friday and you've got to air it the next day. Her boyfriend, some new boyfriend is going to be there. And that was Swiss beats, which I don't even know if it was like public knowledge at the time or whatever. but it was kind of making it all more exciting.

And so then immediately, it's like start editing. And I'm just like, oh, my God, just being shot out of a can and start editing. Like, you want to take your time and like organize your bins and all this stuff when you start to edit. But I was so scrambled, I'm like, okay, where do I start? So I just start in the middle. I couldn't figure it out because it was just my heart was pumping. And this is actually the point of my life when I was 30 years old or something.

Like, I had not drank, I was not a coffee drinker. This, you just have to start drinking coffee. And now I'm a coffee drinker for life. But anyway, this is the moment when it started. Okay, so then edit was happening. It was kind of chaotic. Andy is just the best. Just a true visionary filmmaker partner to have.

So it was just really fun. And I remember that week there was an NFL game on a Saturday because it was January. So I think like college is over. So they have games on Saturday. It was on NBC, and it was running late. And they're like, the show is going to start not at 1130, but 12. Well, that was like God coming down and going, like, I'm stopping time to give you an extra 30 minutes to finish this video, which was like, amazing. And that made all the difference.

Because, of course, I learned, like, you're editing the piece throughout the show while the show is airing. That's just common. You know, a lot of moving parts. Um, got it done for dress. Obviously, I remember definitely making, cutting it down, cutting it down, cutting it down, which was Andy's mantra. It's got to be shorter. It's got to be shorter, which is so smart.

Anyway, so, um, got it in the show. And I just remember for me, like, being sort of like, where the hell am I? What is this place? It's so chaotic that in the writer's room where you kind of, once you're like, okay, I'm done. I can just watch the show and Yorma's, wife, Mari was there. I didn't know her, but she really looked out for me and like, hey, you know, and so it was this really family environment that everything's made in, especially

the Lonely Island little corner of the world. So that made it a lot less like corporate giant thing. One million people you can't remember. And like, oh, there's like nice people around every corner who are just like, have been there and like take care of you. So it's a great place. So it's great memories and that's it. Thanks, Chrysle. Thank you, buddy. Love you. I love that guy. Miss you, Chrysle. More to come from him.

Can we go into Seth's Corner for a second? Has it been a while? It's been a while. This is Seth's corner. It's been a man. I hope you remember what he's talking about himself. Take it away, Seth. Real Quotes game show is my favorite game show sketch I ever wrote. I don't know if you guys remember real quotes. Tell me the premise?

It was you had to complete famous lines from movies. Oh. And it was Barclay and Wig were the contestants. And Barclay started by saying he worked at a blockbuster. And I will say it has the rhythm of booty call because it is like the clippiest thing I think I ever wrote live because everybody's really bad at obviously guessing the quotes. And there's a part, Bill's like, it's famous line from Jaws.

Upon seeing the shark for the first time, Roy Scheider utters the unforgettable line, we're going to need a bigger... Shark. No. See, they saw the shark. He was so big. They thought they were going to need a bigger... Shark bag. Think water.

Ocean. We're going to need a bigger ocean? Yeah, if you get a bigger ocean, it's going to make the shark seem smaller. Then the joke would be on the shark. And then he's like, I've never seen it. He's like, you work at Blockbuster. You've never seen it.

It turns out he works at a place called Blockbusters that is a demolition thing that brings down city blocks. And then the next line is from a field of dreams. And it's if you build it. And he goes, we will knock it down. And it turns out that's actually the slogan for Blockbuster. I white knuckle watch this one live because it played so hot a dress. Yeah. And it was so cutty and so tough.

timing-based. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I was just like, please, because it sort of had, it's so hard to do that thing live. And looking back, I'm really happy with how it went. Nice. Yeah. It's also just such a pleasure with a guy like Charles

because he's like a real Christopher Walk, and he, like, has a way of talking. That is immediately perfect. His line for a few good men was, you can't handle. You can't handle. My private. Incorrect. Be that as it may.

You cannot handle them. So keep your hands to yourself. No one was asking. You can never be too safe, Reg. Yeah, it's good. So that was Cess Corner. Then, like I said, Killer McGruber. And then this was the famous, I mean, I think we talked about it.

We talked about the first one. This was the second that'll move the chains. That's right. Yeah. The second of two. Yes. Which was, I believe, from downtown. I think it was nothing but.

at the bottom of the net. That's what it was. Yeah. I don't actually mention it less. Just keep it simple. Stuff like great defensive play and nice pass. Got it. Okay, great.

And we're back. Lakers with the ball. Great defensive play and nice pass. Not yet, dude. Not yet. Sorry. Nothing but the bottom of the net. And I, again, probably told this story.

You came in to my office. And I said, what are you working on this week? And you said, I think we're going to do another that'll move the chains. And I said, another. and you said Not everybody has update Who was that? That was the week

And you know what? I'm glad we did Because it worked And it aired It did Wait, when Andy said that to yourself Did he mean it? Like was he a little man

He was really It was a real like reminder That like when you know You have 10 minutes of update every week It's not cool to be like Wait, what are you doing? What are you floundering at? What are you trying to get on?

This was the three of you I liked. There I am. Oh, the chair. You didn't realize you were so small. The Making Me Lower works decently. Oh, it's really funny. I mean, it helps to have a couple of big dudes.

Yeah. I mean, you could always kid down pretty good. Thank you so much for saying that. Yeah. And you could old up pretty good, as Mort Mort Fingold taught us. Oh, man. Yeah. We'll get to it.

It's called Range. I will say that the funniest sketch of very funny man, Hannibal Burris, wrote when he was at the show, was called Barclay Golf, about Barclay's terrible golf. about Barclay's terrible golf swing that was in this show. Oh, yeah. And there was a great David Patterson. This is a real Anne Golden Era update

where you've got Andy is Nicholas Cage, Fred is David Patterson, and Bill is James Carville. Fuck. Bill closing it out, I'm assuming. I bet it was Patterson. Oh, Patterson, yeah, Patterson and Carvel. Those were both crush. Also, a scared straight.

It's a nuts show. Now, what are they in here for? You know what, let me guess. Cannibalism. Good guess, son. What are you kidding? That's a horrible guy. guess. No, we caught these kids

hanging around the abandoned rail yard. Traspers, huh? That's where it starts. Next thing you know is rabies. Show you, Pop's, Raybees. What? How is that related? Hey, boy. Close your job.

And then grief counselors is one of my favorite grief counselors is my dream second chance theater sketch. We've talked about, right? Yeah. But I almost feel like we shit. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Also, the short had that Alicia Keys song all over it, and it's on

YouTube, which means they cleared it for all uses. So, hey, that's nice. I don't think that's, I think there's a chance that. It's a sound alike? Yeah, it might have been Catrice. It sounded like Catrice to me, but it would still be, it would still have to pay the publishing, because that's definitely the song. Can we grieve counselors real quick? All right, everyone, I know this has been a rough couple of days. We did not bring in the new year well. As you know, over the weekend, We lost 10 colleagues due to sell manila poisoning from the company Holiday Party. You guys were right, I should not have had our party

catered by a place called Discount Meets. Trying to save a buck, I admit it. As per company policy, I hired a couple of professional grief counselors to come in and help us deal with our loss. God, I know this is a difficult time for all of us. And I thought we could use a little something to make a smile again. Everybody welcome, Janica and Pistachio.

This is what? Keyboard sleeves. Oh, my God, Charles looks great. Oh, wow. Backpack is a nice touch, too. Come on. Come on. No clapping from anyone.

Great. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. All right. Well, if you haven't guessed already, we are here to lift your spirits.

And speaking of lifted spirits, I heard a lot of y'all friends with the heaven over the weekend, and they're not coming back. They're dead, people. So many people died here, you guys. Do you like my piano jacket? Because Pistachio and I

would like to show you something that we think is pretty rocking. For anybody listening who thought our laughs were drowning out the audience laughs, that was not the case.

I think it played okay. It played fine. You guys, you and Fred Breaking made me really happy just like softly. I mean, we were in heaven.

Not breakers. Not classic breakers, either of you. Yeah. All right. That was Booty Call. We did it, guys. Booty Call.

Is there anything else? I'm making a... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, right.

What was the fucking thing, Seth? I got Quibi. Oh, right. And not just that. I've gotten it the last four days. Yeah, you've been hot. That's not what I thought. Clean for four days straight?

Clean for four. Wow. A sober quibby. Yeah. Four days. You get your four-day chip today. You get your four-day chip today. That's what that means.

And it just feels so good Every single time I text you and let you know Because I know you didn't Yep I got it today with a lot of help And I feel real nice When I send it off Ask me what my last word was

What was your last word was Yucolalee That's a toughie Yeah I got ukulele early The fuck But the reason is because my mother-in-law Is in a band called the ukuleties

And that's not a bit Got it got it Yeah I tried spelling it with a Y first a few times. One, two, three. Say your favorite ukulele song.

One, two, three. It's, I would say, one of their only songs is you are my sunshine. I would say if you're going to a ukulele's concert, just know you're going to be in and out in like 15 minutes.

Sorry, Keev, do you want to do the exercise again because I know we're going to say the same thing. All right, ready? Yeah. Favorite ukulelele song, one, two, three.

Somewhere over the rainbow. Yeah. The Hawaiian version. Yeah, quote, unquote, Hawaiian version. So we were over the rainbow. Yeah, we were seeing eye to eye, my dude. You guys are his fans, huh? I apologize, Keith.

I thought you said favorite ukuley song. This is the problem with the name of their band. That is what I thought, too. That was clear to us, Seth. I've been on planet Earth. What's the best one? Yeah. There's one smash hit, one platinum hit.

I thought you guys were going to say, tonight you belong to me by Steve Martin. It's not really. No, because I do love that. Jerk. Guys, speaking of I got a second present of a solid T-shirt. Yeah, that's good. Thank you so much.

Got the little honeycomb. Yeah. What are you at? I mean, are you at 20 gifts, 25 gifts? People gave a lot of really nice gifts and people have written a lot of really nice cards and thank you so much to everyone. Any cash? No, no fucking cash.

Yeah. Thank you, Keith. So if you guys could, yeah, you know, step it up. Any gift cards? But being in a wheelchair cost money, guys. Give them like a bedbath in beyond gift card. Before we go, I just want to say, Seth, I think it's so fucked up that we never hooked up. Jesus.

I just wanted to say that before we go. Before the end of the fucking. I feel like, be honest. Be honest, Andy. I feel like you started that sentence without knowing where you were going. I will never admit to that. No, man.

It was a nice landing for a guy who had no idea where you. Sometimes you just got to take the leap and hope you land somewhere. You saw it happen. Unless you're Yorb. Unless you're Yorb. The reason why Jack Black joined and I was holding my tongue

in case the other half joined but if we're about to bail, he didn't make it, is because I randomly did an interview earlier today on Zoom. And when we got to the end, he's like, oh, man, I got to get off. And I was like, oh, you got another one coming?

He's like, yeah, I got to jump right on. I'm getting on with Jack Black and Paul Rudd for Anaconda. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, give me the link. And he's like, all right, I don't know if Sony will let you on or not, but here you go. And gave me the link to their separate press junket. And did you crash it? And I crashed there. Nice, sweet.

And it was delightful for like five minutes. I wasted this poor journalist's time. and then was like, oh, wait, you guys could because they were excited about the, just Jack kept saying

crashing people's Zooms, this is the best. And I was like, oh, well, you can get me back later today. I'll text you guys right before we get on. And then I,

so I texted both of them and Jack delivered. Outstanding Paul. Nope, no Paul right now. Well, I'm sure he's got stuff to do. You know what? You know what he's probably doing?

He's probably hanging up that picture from everyone's a critic in his home. So let's just assume that that's what he's doing. Did you guys get that picture

of that, That Lynn went to his house to see it in person and send a picture of Paul, like, proudly holding up the real one. Oh. We have, like, proof of life that he has it. From the digital short. Yeah, from the short. That Rudd does have it. I mean, I know he said it on the voice note, but he's got it out at his house.

Did you see this idea that Kevin Miller just had, Andy? It's a really good idea. It's a really good idea. Yeah. Do we not, and we're just going to do it? We're not going to tell the audience what it is. I feel like maybe we should explain what it is. So next week, before Andy gives us B results,

we'll just play a clip of Jack Black singing Spelling Bee from the all-time sketch spelling me. I love it. All right, I love you guys. Love you. Nice to see you guys again. Love you guys. Love you. Later, Arnold. Later quates.