The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Family Trips: JORMA TACCONE Wanted to Ride in a Limousine

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Check out Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers wherever you get podcasts or by going to apple.co/familytrips.Lifelong brothers, Seth Meyers and Josh Meyers ask guests to relive childhood memories, unforgettable family trips, and other disasters! New Episodes of Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers are available every Tuesday. Seth and Josh welcome another member from The Lonely Island to the podcast this week…it’s Jorma Taccone! Jorma tells them about growing up in Northern California, the neighborhood thief, his most disappointing family vacation, his most memorable prank calls, and so much more! Suppport our sponsors:AirbnbVisit Airbnb.com today Thrive MarketReady for a junk-free start to 2025? Head to Thrive Market.com/island and get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Rocket MoneyCancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/island today.  Produced by Rabbit Grin ProductionsExecutive Producers Jeph Porter and Rob HolyszLead Producer Kevin MillerCreative Producer Samantha SkeltonCoordinating Producer Derek JohnsonCover Art by Olney AtwellMusic by Greg Chun and Brent AsburyEdit by Cheyenne JonesMix and Master by Jason Richards

Hey, hey, it's Seth and it's Yorama. Say hi, Yorama. Hi, Seth. Hello, everyone. We are joining you here with a little bit of good news and a little bit of bad news. The bad news is we are still on hold getting everybody back together as we are scrambling to deal with the horrifying fires in California and the people they have affected. We appreciate your patience while we wait to get the gang back together. But the good news is Yorama and I do a podcast with my brother called Family Trips with the Myers Brothers. Did you enjoy your time with us?

I loved it, Seth. You guys are not just brothers on a podcast, you're brothers in real life, and you can tell there's a certain vibe that you guys give off. And my brother joined the podcast as well in parts, so it was great. It was lovely. I like that you used your brother as a sort of memory backer-upper. Yeah, he had different memories than I did. And I gotta say, I conflicted with some of his memories and his memories are much happier than mine. So, but you gotta listen to the episode to see who's right. And it's kind of fun because this is a full episode where you and I talk and not one time

does Andy go, ugh, yorg. Yeah, absolutely. I gotta say, there were scenes that we shot in Popstar where I'm in a scene with Andy and he's across from me, we're acting and I'm seeing him judge me, just being like, no, no. I'm like, we're doing a scene. Like you can't give me notes with your eyes. So anyway, yeah, it's nice to like let my

freak flag fly finally. And your childhood, let's be honest, was pretty much a giant freak flag. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up in Berkeley. Yeah. In the B, you know what I mean? B town. It's worth a listen.

And thanks everybody for your patience. We're very excited to get back to more shorts, which I promise we will do again soon when it is safe and it is sound. Right? Love you guys. Love you. Hi, Pashi.

Hi, Sufi. I have one last thing to talk about in regards to my spring break trip. Oh boy, you're really stretching spring breakout. Well, it's a piece of it I haven't addressed yet. And I guess in defense of the show and the way I usually get pretty crabby, this is a family vacation that you took.

I can't believe you're giving me grief for talking about a family trip. Well. The next thing, if you were like, yeah, come on, man, you gotta have some memories of SNL from 04. No, that ain't happening. So anyway, flight home.

First of all, flight there, flight home. Alexi's such a hero. She really believes, and it was a five hour flight. She really believes the kids can do activities the whole flight. She gets them modeling clay, she gets them sticker books, she gets them mazes, she gets, there's three different kinds of crayons.

It's incredible what she does. With that said, kids just burn through that shit. Yeah. I mean, the kids wanted the clay out before we took off. And again, we're leaving from a New York airport. We were like 15th in line to take off. By the time we're in the air, the modeling clay has dried. It's like rock hard.

So eventually about two hours in, we allow them to switch over to watching movies. You know, again, and they get very excited about watching a movie on the back of a seat on a plane, right? They all have their own headphones, I'm guessing. They all have their own headphones. Another thing that we're doing a lot of is we're loading up old phones of mine that are now defunct with books on tape. And so the kids are actually, the boys at least, will listen to Harry Potter and

enjoy. That's great. Also, Ash is only allowed to watch the Harry Potter movie after he has read the book or had it read to him in this case. Right. Yeah, I was going to throw some quotes around read the book. Yeah. I saw in your eyes some quotes were coming. So I thought I'd jump in front of that one.

But flight home posh, here's what happens on the flight home. I got Addie on one side of me. I got Ash on the other. Dude in front of me, it's like a three and three, right? So I'm looking sort of kitty corner. Guy who's technically in front of Ash. You know what he's watching in the back of his seat?

I don't even know why I'm making you guess. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ooh. Now I'm watching it, again, not the right way to watch Raiders. One seat up with the sound off is not the way to watch Raiders, but it's so good I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna watch Raiders.

And Ash, because Ash is watching something and Addie's sorta just looking at the map. You know, she's too young, she doesn't know that that's not a movie, so she's just looking at it. She must love that part in Raiders, where it's just the map. Oh, right, you're right. There's a lot of that in Raiders.

And I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark on the Plane and man oh man, that movie holds up, it's so good. So good. It's so good, but then a few times, you know, there's some gnarly moments in Raiders. And I look over and Ash, who again is watching his own movie, is just eyes locked in on Raiders. Just locked in on maybe some of the gnarliest moments

of Raiders and you know what, I made a decision and just look at him and give him a nod like, yeah, this is in your future, bud. Movies like this are in your future. Yeah, I remember when we were little, little, when we were living in Michigan, we had a babysitter, Joe, do you remember Joe? Yeah.

But I remember he was watching Deer Hunter. Yes. And it was like just on TV. But if we were living in Michigan, I was five or under. And I remember seeing some Deer Hunter stuff I definitely shouldn't have seen and definitely didn't want to see at that time. Yeah, that Russian roulette scene in Deer Hunter. I'm remembering now. I definitely first saw with a babysitter.

It's funny because I think there's a lot about how hard it is to be a modern kid, you know, but like the fact that we had babysitters who would just come over and be like, let's see what's on. Yeah. And also they had like, there's three things on. Yeah. I'm going to watch the coolest one of them. Also right at eight o'clock at night, none of the three things were kid friendly.

Yeah. It wasn't like, go over to the old Netflix account. Do you, back to Harry Potter real quick, now that Ash is listening to professional audiobook readers of Harry Potter, is he less impressed with your reading? Thank you for asking. I think he's still impressed. I think I'm not going quite fast enough for him anymore. I think the only downside of this, you know,

back and forth or trade off, I should say, we've done with him is now he's just, he's just charging through the books. I think he's staying up too late. We let him have it in bed too. I think he's just, I will, I'm basing this on the fact that like five times last week, I went in and he had fallen asleep with his headphones on.

So he's definitely just trying to like grind through it so that he can hold up the phone until he came in very late the other night to be like, I just finished book five, can you download book six? I'm like, go to bed. Oh wait, I think I told you this, but not on the podcast. We've talked about the fact that you had a moment that Ash just had, you had a moment where you told everybody

you were into Holstein cows, and then for like three years, everybody bought you cow stuff, and then you had to make, basically announce that you'd made a mistake and you don't like cows. So Ash just had this with Legos. He just had his eighth birthday, he got so many Legos, including from you. How can you say Legos?

I know, because I've decided I don't care about people who don't like it that way. Lego, he got some Lego. Now you sound dumb. Yeah, right? If I'd have done it, the only way to do Lego is this way. You get it wrong, someone corrects you, and then you say it.

Otherwise, people would hate me. I'm not going to be the guy who walks around and is like, Lego. You had a few of those where you would do the foreign pronunciation of stuff. Did I? Yeah, I'll try to remember. I don't know, but I'll remember.

Anyhow, all right, so Ash getting too many Lego. Well, we told Ines and I'm remembering, we had to tell you because you got him Lego. You got him a box of Lego. I found out when I was on a FaceTime with you, three days after his birthday, and he drag asses into the kitchen and he's like, "'Thanks for my gift, Uncle Poshy.

"'Someone else is gonna get me the same thing.'" Yeah, and then on top of it, which by the way, that didn't happen, he didn't get the same thing, but he did get so many Harry Potter Lego. That Harry Potter's Lego. He got so many of them and he had a real breakdown because it was that thing that happens to a kid,

they ask for a bunch of stuff, in the time it takes for them to come, he decides he doesn't like that stuff anymore. And I went into the other room, he was sitting in our little playroom, TV room. It's a room with a TV and we never watch TV, so it's basically the kids' playroom, TV room. It's a room with a TV and we never watch TV, so it's basically the kids' playroom. And he was just sitting with a big box of Legos,

of Legos bricks. And he had a big box of Lego in his lap and he just was staring at this beautiful box of Harry Potter Lego. And I just heard him saying, who likes Lego? Not me! To himself.

Do you think, I went to a kid's second birthday. You knew the parents? No. Yeah. And there were a bunch of people going to this party and I know, you know, this little girl she's got plenty of toys. And you feel like you need to bring a gift,

but at the same time, I was like, do you? And I feel like I need to buy something for my nephews and niece, and certainly our uncles would have done that. But where's all this stuff go? Like, how many Lego sets did he get? I think part of the problem is everyone feels like, oh, we need to buy him something. Yeah, we're backlogged.

That kid doesn't need anything. By the way, did our uncles get us presents? Uncle Kurt would show up with stuff. In my head right now, I know what Uncle Kurt showed up with for our birthdays. Scratch tickets? Yeah. Like 10 scratch tickets he got from the liquor store he worked at.

Yeah. Maybe a thing of pretzels. I mean, it's all pretty good. Yeah, as I think about it. It's all pretty exciting. It's also probably better than a box of Legos for mom and dad because everything was immediately garbage. It didn't just like build up. Yeah.

Maybe that's the move. No, scratchers. Yeah. Talking about reading slow, we have a snail population at our, at my building in LA. Oh, okay. And when it rains a little bit,

these snails will come out. And it's very exciting. Mackenzie and I really like the snails. Oh, that's good. I was wondering if a, well, the very fact that you called it a population instead of an infestation was pro-snail. No, it's just like, there's just like a couple come out when it rains.

And there's like these little drains. And Mackenzie the other day sent me a video or a picture of this like snail trail and the snail had ended up just on top of this drain. But in that day, it was very sunny. And everything dried up. And I walked past this drain and the snail was just on dead center on the drain. And I was like, oh, this dude didn't make it. Like there was, he couldn't get away and it got too hot out here.

And we, you know, Mackenzie gets, you know, sad if she sees a crushed snail. If I ever step on a snail, it's very, you know, you feel terrible. So this snail was on this grate, and I took some water down, and I poured it on him, and he wasn't moving, and I was like, it's not going to happen for this guy. And then later on, I went down, and he had moved, but it was still hot out, and he was running out of water. So I got him some more water, and I got this little like,

it's like a knife, but it's like a thing that you move chopped vegetables from the cutting board into the pan. It's like this big flat thing. And I laid that down, put a little, some little celery greens on it and he crept up on there and I moved him to a new place. But the whole procedure took a long time.

I was going to say, I think the difference between me having three kids and you having none is I wouldn't have gone and checked on the fucking snail. But I walked by the snail. When I'd taken the dogs outside, I walked by the snail. And I'm like, I'm just either watching this thing die or I'm going to save this thing.

And then it happened again the other day. And I'll just bring a book out there now and I have to wait for the snail to climb up on this. Yeah, wait a second. If it happened again, isn't there a chance the snail's like, oh, finally made it back. Jeez Louise. I think it's got to be a different snail

because I walked that first snail a long way away from where he ended up. Interesting. Okay. Yeah. So multiple, this is happening to multiple. Well, I do think, I don't know if we should just keep doing updates on this podcast about that

or start a second one. With just the snail cast. Yeah. You're a good man. And I know snails can be invasive and they're not always, people aren't always psyched to see snails showing up. But I am, I mean, I think they look,

there's some people aren't psyched and some people are like you and Mackenzie, totally insane. Honey, honey, come outside, the snails are back. The snails. Yeah, it's very exciting. Debbie, our dog, she always loves the snails. She will always give it a little sniff, move on.

Great, they're our friends. Yeah. All right, well. For those of you who are still with us, we have our friend, Yoram Itikoni is joining us and it's a lovely conversation. He has an incredible, his upbringing is fantastic and a really good story coming your way.

But first, Jeff Tweedy. Family trips with the Myers Brothers. Family trips with the Myers Brothers, here we go. Oh, hey. Yeah. Whoa. Wow. There he is.

That deep. You got those deep pipes. He does have deeper pipes than he appears when you first meet him. Yeah. Yeah, for such a short guy. All right, you said it, not me. I am a short guy. Alright, you said it, not me. I am a short guy. You know what pops into my head every time I see your full name printed?

What is it? That my, I put myself in quotes? No, no, no. I just think, do you like your Monte-Cone-y? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know why, but that's always been the way it works for me. I don't even know what that's a reference to. The Pina Colada song. Oh, I see, okay. Oh, the minute I do a parody song, Josh is in the woods.

You know what's really funny is that recently, because I've had this experience too, but having my brother say it was somehow more insulting, but he was like, recently, Asa was like, yeah, sometimes I just think about your name and I just laugh. I'm like, what? But it is such a weird name. Whenever I've met anybody who has a similar,

like, Yohassir, like just any yuff sounding name. Yeah, a J.F. Frum. That's a bizarre name. I will say, Yormitakoni is a fantastic name. Also, it's interesting that Asa would take that position because I feel like that is in the same ballpark of name. But it's like Old Testament biblical, right? So like you're more like-

I would just say both of you, his name is A-S-A, you're J-O-R-M-A. Both of them, I feel like you have to tell people how to pronounce it. Yes, because Asa is somehow- Yes. Did I tell you the funniest one I ever got? When somebody. What was the best?

Because it was also funny because they weren't trying to be insulting. But the guy was like, I'm sorry, urine? I was like, urine? No, no, no, my parents didn't name me urine. But you're named after some, like a kick-ass guitar player, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. George McCowd-Conan from the Jefferson Airplane and, like, Hot Tip.

And I met him. And I did tell him. Because this should be, because I feel like when you're named, when your parents name you after a kick-ass guitarist, there's two paths. One, your dad just loves a band. But this is the better version. Your dad knew him. He was a friend. No, no, no, no, no, no. My dad just loved the band. Oh, God, I thought they were friends.

Oh, so it's the worst version. I met him because I went and saw him at McCabe's guitar store at Pico Ville. Great, so your dad was just like, this guy shreds. Yeah, 100%. I don't even know if you like the name. I think he was just like, this guy Shred. Yeah, 100%. I don't even know if you like the name. I think he was just like, Shred, that's cool. He was like, we're naming him. He didn't know the name first, he said to your mom,

whoever this guy is, that's what the boy's name's gonna be. He's got it Shred. I was like, I got bad news. He's got it Shred. It's bad news, it's urine. And she's like, I don't think you say it that way. And he's like, oh, okay. It's closer now, but better, getting better. Yeah like, I don't think you say it that way. And he's like, oh, okay. It's closer.

Better, getting better. Yeah, I think he saw him at Woodstock or something. And was Asa's name just the straight biblical or was it? There was a guy who we just always referred to as Big Asa in Berkeley, who was a family friend kind of. And so I think he was 11 or something. He was a couple of years older than me. And actually, Big Ace sold me my first car too,

which was a 1977 Plymouth Velare that he described as Doja Green inside and out, which is a very Bay Area term for weed. So, I think so. Oh, Doja. So, you bought a weed green Valarie? Yeah, that was pretty cool. That dents run it up and down the sides of the...

I mean, so Yorma is from the Bay Area and along with Andy Samberg and Akiva Schaffer. And every detail I ever hear about growing up in the Bay Area makes me happier and also is illustrative of the way you guys all turned out. This story that I'm going to tell you guys is very, very Bay Area, too. Like, very Bay Area. Like, I was thinking about... So you're basically...

You kind of are... You've taken a different approach. I feel like you're showing up with one trip that you want to talk about. There's one trip that is a long... It has different facets. And we can talk about family trips in general, but we didn't take a lot of them growing up. So we can talk about whatever you guys want.

I'm perfectly, this is a very Bay parent, like my parents and like both me and my brother were talking about this and we were just like, oh my God, this trip. All right, so I'm going to let Josh is going to maybe lay down some tracks before we get to your one massive trip. Great. Yeah, well, I mean, just sort of set the scene.

Your brother's how much younger than you? My brother's four and a half years younger than me. Okay. Were you psyched? That's old enough to know if you're psyched you're having a younger brother. Were you psyched that another one was coming? In a very Bay Area way, I was at my brother's birth, which was at home.

There's a picture of me and my best friend Ari, like just like McCully Culkin, just like watching it happen, like, oh God, what is this? And then my parents saved his placenta in our refrigerator. So it was in our freezer for like a year because they forgot about it. So whenever I would try to go get ice cream or anything, I'd look up our freezer for like a year because they forgot about it. So whenever I would try to go get ice cream or anything,

I'd look up there and be like, well, that piece of meat there is for mom. What was the goal of keeping it? What was sort of the end game if it hadn't just been forgotten after a year? I think that they were, their intention was that they were going to eat it. Yeah.

That was my fear about freezer was definitely. And then like some freezer burn. You're like, wait for the right. You know, wait for July 4th or, you know, whatever. They're waiting for it. But yeah, that is, yeah, freezer burn and then they planted it under a tree. My Alexi has become more big area with each successive birth of our children because the third Addie, was a

home birth. Wait, which one was in the lobby? Because that's the second. The second one was in the lobby, which was, she was trying to have a New York birth and then her women parts were like, no, we are of the Bay. I mean, that's the coolest home birth story ever. I feel like we maybe saved the first placenta and had the same situation of like, there's no, and in the end, we're not going to actually do anything with it. But what I was getting at was the kids,

the home birth happened at night or else, I bet the boys would have been, I don't know, I don't know if they would have watched or not, but I think they would have been nearby. What time did it happen? Like 11 o'clock at night. It was the best because they went to bed. It was very much Shoemaker's elves.

They went to bed and woke up and somebody else had made a baby that was just there. I honestly thought you were talking about Michael Shoemaker for a second. That's the problem with having a shoemaker. Having a real shoemaker in my life named Michael. And your parents are both very creative people professionally, yeah? Yes. My dad is an artistic director of theater. He's a theater director. And my mom was a graphic designer for many, many years and is an artistic director of theater. He's a theater director, and my mom was a graphic designer

for many, many years and is now sort of retired. She's retired, but he attempted to retire and hasn't. Gotcha. And they've managed to make this work with normal names like Troy and Sue Ellen. What's funny is that my wife is named Marielle, and then we named our kid, I wanted to name our son Wiley, and then name our our kid, I wanted to name our son Wiley and then

name our last child like Bob. So then because I just wanted everyone to have a name. Bob DeConi is definitely a guy with like a used car place on Long Island. It probably exists. Yeah. Yeah. He sells rolls of quarters. You're like I sells rolls of quarters.

I need rolls of, I got a 20 and I just need a roll. Go see Bob DeConi. He's got, yeah. So yeah, tell us about this trip. What's a creative Bay Area family? Well before, yeah, so before you tell us about the trip, what was like sort of a baseline trip? Well, I did research, you know,

which I think most people do because you're like, am I remembering these things? Not everyone does it, you are, Mark. And let me say we appreciate it. Some people do so little research that about five minutes in they say, oh, so it's about family trips. Really?

So you're massively, massively ahead of them. Those people are doing better than me. I think the better you're doing in your career, the less research you're doing. You do the better you're doing in your career, the less research you're doing. You do the podcast you're about to appear on. They're not doing better in Larry Meyers' eyes, I'll tell you that right now. Yeah, that's true.

My dad is very down on people who don't do the work. Yes, well, honestly, I was trying to remember the trips beyond going to visit grandparents, because most of our trips, financially, growing up, we were not doing well at all. So then I grew up in Berkeley, as you said, we lived in a pretty crappy neighborhood in Berkeley. So we got robbed a lot.

And which was really funny because we didn't have it. We had no, nothing to rob. And there's some really good stories there, but this isn't about that. Well, I do want to take a pause because it's almost too interesting to just pass over. When you got robbed, were you always away from home when you got robbed? No, there's a couple of stories where I remember someone trying to break in through the one

window that didn't have the electrical alarm tape with this crazy alarm that was like a school bell alarm. So it was the loudest thing you've ever heard. But if you broke a window and it had the gray tape, then it would shatter the tape and then it would trigger this alarm. Um, and the one window that only had iron bars on it was being broken into. So I remember seeing a guy trying to get into the, to the, and then the, the, one of the funnier times when we were robbed, we were robbed by our,

our neighbors. By the way, it speaks to how robbed, we were robbed by our neighbors. By the way, it speaks to how many times you get robbed if you have a funny one. There's a couple funny ones. There's a couple funny ones. This one was that they used our own wheelbarrel to steal an amplifier and all of a sudden,

like old school stereo equipment that we had. But they covered up, it seemed like they had covered up all of this old school stereo equipment that we had. It seemed like they had covered up the stereo equipment in the wheelbarrow with diapers. And so there was a trail of diapers leading to our neighbor's house. That was a funny one. And then another one was we did take a trip,

a family trip, and we came back and the alarm had been going off for like 12 hours. So all of the people in the neighborhood, nobody cared that we got robbed at that point. and we came back and the alarm had been going off for like 12 hours. Nobody cared that we got robbed at that point. The fire department had tried to be there tonight. Nobody could turn it off. I feel like they're now it's a justifiable theft if they had to go through 12 hours of the school bell alarm Yeah, that's true. You mean like if it had been going off and then they were like, you know, it's already going

I think that's fair. I hope yeah I do hope did you wait did you ever I mean I'm assuming you confront the neighbors when you realize they've left a Trail there was another moment that I was telling my dad about this because I don't think he had ever heard this story. I mean, it's sad. We were living in a pretty crappy area. But no, there was a moment that I was walking to the corner store to get,

I was really obsessed with now and laters. And I was walking to get now and laters at the corner store. And our neighbor, this isn't that funny because I'm like seven or whatever, however I was, but our neighbor threatened to kill me with a kitchen knife and the thing I remember most about it was that I think it was our kitchen knife. It was a serrated kitchen knife that I was like,

oh, I think that's our knife. Like, that's what I remember about it. I just sort of went, walked around him into the street and walked to the corner of the door. Was this your next door neighbor? Or? No, we didn't confront anyone. It is funny.

I like that, yeah, in your seven year old, it's like, I'm going to kill you. It's like, well, I'm afraid the tables are turned because you've just revealed yourself to be a thief. A thief. I'm afraid your attempted murder will have to take the back seat. Because you're in trouble, mister. Yeah.

You Columbo'd your own assailant. Yeah. No, there was a lot of that growing up. It was just like a, and the weird part was we had, I never experienced this before anywhere, I've done a lot of that growing up. Yeah, that was pretty intense. So regardless, we didn't take that many family trips because we just didn't have that much money. Well, it also, it seems like, yeah, when you leave,

people take your things and your neighbors hate you. Yes. And then you need to buy more things. So any money you have goes back into replacing televisions, amplifiers, kitchen knives, et cetera. It was an exponential cost for you to go on vacation. The least of it was how expensive the vacation was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We just left our doors open. Where did your grandparents live? Were they close by or? Well, yeah, my grandmother lived in Stanford, Connecticut, so that we would go out to the East Coast a lot. And I remember that those were great trips because we obviously got pampered because my grandmother didn't get to see us as much. And then also, my other grandparents lived in Irving, Texas, so very hot, but I loved visiting them. So we did that a lot. And then we went camping and things like that,

but it wasn't, we didn't have that many trips overall. And I was like, but those were my big memories. What were the activities of note when you went to your grandparents, like the Connecticut or the Texas? My grandmother in Connecticut, she's a very feisty Puerto Rican woman who she taught Spanish for years,

but she had more energy. I think you, Seth, you must have met her at something. Yeah, yeah. Was she at the wedding? Yes, yeah, absolutely. And then, like, I'm sure she came to the show. But yeah, she had so much fucking energy. And so she would wake us up at like six in the morning singing like Spanish.

So I like, La Vanta Se Fue Soldado, Get up, get up. We gotta go play tennis. It was like, oh. And I was always obsessed with vacation. I was like, this is vacation. Like just the word vacation was so frustrating.

And being like, it's not, you don't get up at six to play tennis. But yeah, it's not, you don't get up at six to play tennis. But yeah, she was just, she was obsessed. Yeah, ball of fire. That's great. It is funny, I feel like it's dawning on my kids now that they can use the idea of vacation as a way to have the same complaints they always have.

You know, they always want ice cream and then all of a sudden we're on vacation, they're like, it's vacation! Shut up, you always want this cream and then all of a sudden we're on vacation. It's vacation Shut up. You always want this is a good argument I always like when your kids have pretty good arguments and my kid now it was starting to really know so you're like where he If it's educational, he's like using educational now is that you good, but I'll learn Yeah, and that's why you need this Pokemon pack How's your son now? He's nine.

All right. Yeah. Figured it out. And in Texas, with those grandparents, were you in a city? Were they out in the countryside? No, Irving. It's really suburban, like a lot of track housing, a lot of cul-de-sacs. It was always so hot. I just remember as a kid being really excited to use the, like a lot of track housing, a lot of cul-de-sacs. It was always so hot. I just remember like as a kid, like being really excited to use the,

you know like the first time when you get a hose and it's the hose with like the nozzle and you're like, I'm a fireman. And I was very excited about being a fireman. So Texas to me was like the place where I got to like shoot the house with a hose. Yeah, because you thought maybe it was going to catch on fire with how hot it was. It's possible nowadays, yeah.

It's so nice to hear you actually dial into that memory because of course I remember the first time you did it and I feel like I forget when my kids are doing it that there's just no way to get through to them because this summer they were just blasting our house with a hose. And I was like, stop it! And I was telling them to stop it. And they physically couldn't stop it. Also, because you're feeling like the kick of it,

like the hose has power in the way that you've seen like a firefighter, like, whoa, this thing! And they were just like, they were spraying different surfaces. They're like, I'm going to shoot wood. I'm going to shoot glass. Then it's like, I'm just gonna blast it into the ground till it turns into mud.

So I got one of those like power washers because I was recently to clean the deck and this is really fun because you can, it's probably, this is not a good idea for just saying this out loud in public, but I was shooting my kid with the power washer and he was like, it has so much water, like your daily stretch. He loved it.

That was, I like any activity that's like a parent activity, but you're having a pretty good time. Yeah. When our father used to be in charge of baths with us, he sort of took a much heavier handed approach and he would just have like a bucket and he would call us dirt ball number one and number two. And we'd get like, he would just pour the bucket over our heads and you'd just get like deluged

and then he'd like scrub shampoo and then he'd go like dirt ball number one and he'd like pound you with a bucket. And it was like, it was efficient and it was aggressive and it was fun. Oh my God, I'm sure he was having a great time. Yeah. And you 100% knew when it was the times he gave you a bath,

like how it was going to go. So this was last night. There was a bunch of kids who came over after. They were doing their little Pokemon thing. And they all got Nerf guns and were like, come outside, be the dad, we need a dad. Because they just only abuse dads. And so I was like, well, if I'm doing this, I'm really doing it.

So I got this leaf blower. I got this huge leaf blower and an umbrella and just walked outside, clicked the umbrella. So that's my shield. And then just shooting kids with this leaf blower for like half an hour. God, that's good times. I'm going to steal that. I think both of those are. Yeah, solid.

Watching a dad come outside with an umbrella and a leaf blower is as exciting as seeing Bane in Batman for the first time. That was my goal. He's like, no! What a beautiful voice. Support for the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb.

Hi, Yorm. Hi, Seth. They've asked us to put this ad in our own voice, so that's really exciting for me, because you have one of my favorite voices. Oh, thanks for noticing me, Seth. And you know what? I feel like if you and I were on a vacation together,

here is what I would very much like to do. Okay. I would want to be near that voice, but not like share a bedroom with that voice. That makes sense. I would want to like convene in a kitchen, maybe make a coffee, knowing that you would come out of your separate bedroom, and we could kind of hang out,

you know. Yes, the only thing about that, Seth, is that in the mornings, I sound like this. Hi, Seth, you want to have some coffee? Like that. Certainly. So it would be different. The point is, I don't want to talk to a guy like that

in a hotel lobby or even in a hotel restaurant. I want to talk to a guy like that in a hotel lobby or even in a hotel restaurant. I want to talk to a guy with both that really good voice and then that terrible morning voice in an Airbnb kitchen. And this is one of the nice things that Airbnb vacation provides when we get with friends. Nice common areas to hang out in, but also separate spaces we can return to. Far away from each other. You realize that a little

goes a long way with Yorma's voice and at some point you're like well I'm back to my room where the door is going to be closed. Thanks to AirBnP. Support comes from Rocket Money. Hey Yorm. Rocket Money. Hi Seth. I should have let you do it. That was really good. Do it again. Support comes from Rocket Money. So you and I, there's always shows. Our friends will tell us to watch. You know, it'll be like, hey, you gotta watch this show. It's on this app you've never heard of or a streamer you've never heard of and then you sign up and you watch it and it's great. But then you're not really watching anything on that streamer anymore. We kind of forget, right? Yeah, that's happening. Yeah. So you get a Rocket Money account all of a sudden. It's like, hey man, do you really want this German expressionist streamer? You really want to pay 40 marks a month for this? You know my search history. Yeah, I do. Rocket

Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you, Yoruma, can grow your savings. Thank you, Seth. It'll even try to negotiate lower bills for you, and that's certainly gonna go better than you, Yoruma, being on the phone with somebody. I've heard you try to argue your bills down. In the end, you end up paying double. They're so sick of you.

I end up apologizing to them, and I just want it out. Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps premium features Can you imagine that there are people that have saved? $740 a year that's so many apps that they didn't need that's crazy

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with rocket money go to rock money comm slash island today That's rocket money comm slash island rocket moneycom slash island, rocketmoney.com slash island. Say it one more time, Yoram. Rocket money. Krrrr. Oh, whew. That's your money getting saved. All right, so your big trip, the big famous trip. Okay, so because we didn't ever get to do anything,

and like I was, again, obsessed with like the word vacation, like we're going to go on vacation was the time that my, I was 12 years old and my brother's so my, I think I was like 12 and a half 13. So I'm angsty too. Like I'm just like, in addition to being obsessed with like, this is my big vacation, we're going to Hawaii for like, spend some money, like, wow, we're going to Hawaii.

And my brother is eight. So we, and we're going to visit my godmother, who is a woman named Sandra, who sadly has passed away. But she married a native Hawaiian man. So we're going to go visit them on Hawaii. So I'm so excited. And just to give you some context of how I've been disappointed in the past by my parents, I remember we had this super shitty Volkswagen bug that was like every fender was a different

color. It was super dented. It was super embarrassed. Like that was our family car. And I remember when I was in third grade, I was obsessed with, as I every kid was, Lamborghinis and limos was the other car that I was like, you as I every kid was, Lamborghinis and Limos was the other car that I was like, you can drive a limo. I just thought you could drive a limo

and that was like the coolest car. So as I'm running to, like my dad picks me up, I'm like, did you bring a limo? I don't know what I was thinking. Did you bring a limo? Did you bring a limousine? He was like, yeah, cause he's a dad. Like, well, that's exactly what I would have said.

Like, yeah, I brought a limo. And then running outside to see this fucking embarrassment, like, oh no, no, I hate this fucking car. But this felt like this to me, because again, I'm 13, but as we go, so when we show up to my godmother's, what I thought was a house, she had been squatting on the shoes. Okay, let me give some context. Also, like my parents are very political, liberal minded, like you know my mom worked for a socialist newspaper and she

meets Sandra. They're selling little red books together, which is Mao's like doctrine, whatever, like so you know they're communists. It is for real, they are the stereotype of what every Republican thinks a normal Democrat is today. 100%. Yes. My parents are like... They were no exaggeration what, like, Jim Jordan thinks I am. My mom worked for a newspaper called Frontline, which is like the frontline of the proletariat will rise up again, like Karl Marx. It was all just like Marxists,

basically. But to be fair, they're also like, it's a lot of intellectuals and and then the libertariat will rise up again. It was all just like Marxists basically. But to be fair, it's a lot of intellectuals, they're reading everything, they're not hippie, silly 60s. It's all very political and tada. So my godmother is one of these people, man named Michael. And so there was a lot of education on this trip. So like, so we, but we pull into this area that we're going to be staying and they've, they've been squatting on the beach, basically. There's no place to say it's, it's drift. I'm not exaggerating my status. It was like a shanty town, basically. So it's probably 10 different shacks kind

of, but they're made out of like driftwood and tarps that they had found from the sea in some cases. But they have been, it's, it's weirder than that though, because then they're furnished inside. There's no doors. There's just flaps with tarps and like, it's like a unhoused person's like, like squatting area or something. But it's called Anahola Beach Park and, but they have electricity. So there's like refrigerators and stuff in there and people have television, they're stealing electricity from the electrical poles and like and a whole beach park. The beach is beautiful. But for me, like showing up to our Hawaiian vacation to be like, sorry, where are we staying?

We're staying in this shack? The best is the thinking, thinking it was a limo was you being insane. But now the tables have turned. Yes, and then we're staying in this, from my remembrance, me and Asa stay in the shack and then across the road, because let's back up politically, because this is all true. It's like, you know, Hawaii was basically stolen by, you know, like Lili'uokalani was

a queen. They had like 50 treaties with like every country in the world, basically. And then the United States came in and basically a policeman was shot and Lily Kalani just was like, okay, I don't want this to go to war. And then all of Hawaii was now American. And so I can't remember when they became a state or whatever. But there were laws made that were basically

like in trying to make things right, they were supposed to give land back to Native Hawaiians. So that was sort of like, you know, Michael and a lot of people were like, we're supposed to give land back to native Hawaiians. So that was sort of like, you know, Michael and a lot of people were like, we're waiting for our land, but like, none has been deeded to us or like, it takes a really long time to actually get that land. her her inheritance from her mom and put it into this house like and they spent like $35,000 it was saying as a house is a little weird It was like a plywood house basically so none of it's been furniture

Whatever they're working on it forever and it does have electricity But so my parents stay in there and then me and my brother stay on the on the beach in this house, but like there's there's flying cockroaches and like I mean just There was just for me. I was like, this is a nightmare. My brother had a great time. In fact, I have audio of my brother talking about this, which I can play real quick. Let me see if this works. It was like camping.

My dad said it was a quote, scene. And then I asked him to describe what he meant by that. And he said it was just like, you know, I think think they partied pretty hard but it was really fun for me. I mean, I was eight, I was just in it. I was, I befriended a local Hawaiian boy named Coco. I spent most of my days with him and the mornings I would wake up we'd go out on his makeshift canoe and catch fish in the coral reef for my mom's friends so they could have for their breakfast. And we just hung out with all these local Hawaiian kids. We ended up going to like a luau

for a celebration of a baby that was born in the community. And my mom used to be a sign painter. So she painted this big sign for them. And we went to a natural waterslide, which was these two massive rocks that were kind of edged together, and there was this slick moss in the middle. Okay, that's all true.

This is the best definition of the ages eight and 12. Yeah. I think that's the best example. It was love at that. Like eight still sees the wonder in the world, and like, I made a local friend. Whereas you're like, where's my fucking limo? And you're also younger too,

so he had like more options with hanging out with people. And we did, like, we had an amazing time. I mean, like, or, still like my dad, like, I was like, he's like, do you remember that beach? I was like, yeah, like, we found that riptide, and then me and my brother dad, like, I was like, he's like, do you remember that beach? I was like, yeah, like we found that riptide and then me and my brother would like duck our heads under and follow the riptide in and see how long our breath would last

as you got pulled under. That was like super, and then obviously the waterfall. I mean, it's super like amazingly beautiful, but there's, you know, like, there's a lot of like vets who were a part of this community. And like, it was, it's super like amazingly beautiful, but there's a lot of like vets who were a part of this community. And like, it was just like this guess. Again, I was just like, ah, what is this? Like, what are we doing?

And then the thing that my brother mentioned there, the sign that was made, that like my mom painted the sign, the reason that that sign was made was that four days, this is a six day trip, four days into the trip, about, we wake up in the morning and about 30 police cars are pulling in and they're federal agents.

So all these federal agents get out and they start tacking up eviction notices everywhere, like on everything, every structure, every car, every like on the house that my godmother had built. And so it becomes this huge, it's like, you're going to get evicted. It's like two days after we're leaving, they're coming in and they're going to clear everybody out

and evict everybody. And so again, for me, I was like, what is happening? On this vacation. And so then my mom gets into activist mode and she paints this huge, they got this big piece of plywood and she paints this beautiful mural to make it look more official when they come in. And then people start coming out of the woodworks. Like hippies from I don't know where,

who are just activists, like show up and start making documentaries. Yeah, I imagine it's like, it's local news maybe covering something like this. I don't know, you'll know. I know, it's the government, so I don't know how much they wanted to be involved. But the woman named,

I remember this woman named Smokey Rain showed up with her boyfriend and she was like, they were making a documentary. And I was like, I like it. So my mom makes this big beautiful sign that they put in front to make it look more official before, and then they did a big lubao and the radio station came.

They did have like local, were like on every side. That is really a funny, and I do think that documentaries are incredible tools for societal change, but it is a really funny hippie thing when shit's going bad to be like, don't worry, we're going to come make a doc. We'll be there.

You're like, we're getting evicted in two days. Smoky's on the next plane over. Smoky Rain's coming, Smoky Rain. Don't worry. I think with editing, we might have it done in like 18, 19 months. Also, what was the name of the sort of native Hawaiian guy that your godmother was married to? Michael. He got pretty, he got sort of cheated out of the cool name contest in terms of...

It's like every time a kid in the Bay Area gets a YORMA, a guy in Hawaii has to get a Michael. Yeah, I mean, we visited them since this all happened. And Michael was a big part of our family for a long time. He would drink a lot though. And I remember one of the things, because we were all staying together, was that he would sort of pass out and he would snore. And then me and, it was so regular that me and my brother would like beatbox to it. And we would go... I do picture that while Michael's snoring the flaps on the

shanty are like blowing out. That's when the cockroaches are getting in. Yeah, just disturbing the chickens that were running around. But then to complete that, like, they got evicted, like, right after we left. Everyone got evicted, everything got torn down with bulldozers, her house got torn out. And then my godmother and like six other people were in jail for nine months after that. Geez Louise.

Yeah. So the documentary in the end maybe didn't help. It didn't, I don't think. Well, you know what? They became known as like the Anahola Beach Park 7 or something and so maybe it did. Maybe it did, you know? And then she ran for mayor after that too.

She ran for mayor of Hawaii. Was the plywood house that they were building, was that evicted as well or was that more legal? I got torn, that was the saddest because then we watched the documentary. I was like, I was only at by the way, I was only like a half an hour documentary. But that was seeing that was like just like so because they because they got a quick claim deed, which I don't really understand the mechanics of that. But it's like basically like you if you go down and you say like, we're on this thing, and we've been here for a while and did it. And

again, like, he was on the list as a native Hawaiian man to be able to get this land. So he should have been able to get it. It just, it takes years to do and I apparently can't like just claim whatever land you want. Yeah. And then eventually they were, they were actually given like a bunch of acres and we went, me and my wife, the first trip we went to, we visited them and it was great. Did you really? When you guys, before you were married? Yeah. We went, me and my wife, the first trip we went to, we visited them and it was great. Did you really?

When you guys, before you were married? Yeah, it was like right when the lonely island started, like right after we graduated, I was already dating Mari and Annie and Keith came down to LA and I had already had this trip planned, so they were looking out, like going to live for houses in LA. And I went to Hawaii and visited Sandra and Michael again.

Did you make multiple trips over your life or was it just those two? Three times, I think. Yeah. That's great. But the first one was the most memorable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like a couple things from ACES that I want to go back to. The natural waterfall, did you have a memory of that? Yeah, it's amazing.

Especially like, because you are with local people who are like, oh no, no, go to this one. And it did take forever to hike into the, you know. I mean, and Kauai is stunningly beautiful. I mean, it's like, it is Jurassic Park. Yeah. We used to go to, there was like a natural waterslide thing in New Hampshire called Diana's Baths that we would go to. And it was freezing, but it was also these like very smooth rocks.

It wasn't so mossy. It was just smooth rocks. And so fun as a kid. And I remember going back maybe as a teenager or like mid-20s. And then there are all these signs that say like, don't swim here. this is like drinking water or whatever. But I don't know if we were not allowed to be there when we were there sort of taking those rides, but you're definitely not allowed to now or not supposed to at least. It's so cool like Hawaii has so many, I actually went on vacation with me, Mari, Akiva and Liz went to Hawaii and found another, I can't remember what island we were on,

but we found another one of those deep woods, like you had to like a mile in, and then you hike forever, and da da da, and then there's this huge open area of this like this, almost like this lake, and then you have to go through the lake and then up a rope ladder, up this waterfall, and then in the back there, it was just amazing. It was great.

And it was really great to watch Akiva do that too. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. This is real, this is a tangent, but you'll see where it got inspired from. We're talking about swimming and drinking water. Was it during the pandemic that you started making weird nursery, like fables? Oh, Derek stories? Yeah, Derek storiesables? Oh, the Derrick stories?

Yeah, Derrick stories. It was during the pandemic, yes, yeah, it was. So Yorm reached out to me and said he was, yeah, you sent me a Derrick story. You're like, hey, we listen to this. Probably, you know, anybody with kids, I was like, do your kids think this is funny? But Derrick was sort of like an Aesop-y type dude, right?

There are Aesop's fables. These are on Spotify. It's on all streaming. They're like two minute long stories. They're basically Aesop's fables that get interrupted by a guy named Derrick. And then take it to the moral. And they're called Derrick stories.

Yeah, so the down river one was, was it someone? Yeah, you really listened to the... What was the down river one? Just, I mean, it's only two minutes long, go listen to Derek's story, but just your best yorm. Give us, just for Josh, real quick, how did Derek ruin this? So, the Aesop's fable is that there's a lamb that's bathing in a river, and then up from there, there's a wolf trying to come up with an excuse to eat the lamb, to basically be like,

hey, how dare you drink from the water that I'm bathing in? He's like, oh no, if the water is soiled, it cannot be from me because it runs down from you to me. And it's basically like, he's going to eat him anyway, sort of thing, he's not going to give, a villain is always going to be a villain, is their moral. But in this version, as he's trying

to like poke at the lamb, then Derek's like, Oh, no, that's me. Actually, I'm up here just ringing out the old dungarees. What you're like, I must have had a bad jalapeno or something just wrapped in the inside of my pants. He's right, Carmen. Because it's just, the insides of my pants are just coated pockets to pockets. One of the things, Yorm and Andy Samberg, who are two-thirds of the Loan Island, I think one of the things you probably connected on early in life was a love of diarrhea as a punchline to a joke.

It's still a punchline, constantly. There's something that we're working on right now that is almost tiring. Oh, I've heard it. Yeah, I've heard it. Have you played it for your kids? Because it is popular. My Wiley's friends cannot get enough. I literally had a conversation where he was like,

I don't know why I can't hear this again. I'm like, it's not out yet. That's great. You can't go find it. Wiley's friends cannot get enough. I literally had a conversation where he was like, I don't know why I can't hear this again. It's not out yet. You got your two kids. He was great for it. I mean, while he was on a plane at like eight weeks to Berlin, we were like, ah, he's settled. And then just recently, we went to London recently and it was like, oh man, he was super anxious about the whole thing.

I don't know what you're saying. How was he with the jet lag and settling down when he got there? I mean, it was okay. We were trying to keep them on a New York schedule, because it was five days, but then every day, it's like very consistently, it's like one hour has chipped away. And then by the end, I was like, no, it's just perfect.

How long of a trip total? To London? Yeah. Was that like you were going to be there for a while? Oh, yeah, it was just the right amount to like be problematic on the background. Gotcha. Yeah, we like to do it like that. As long as it's very problematic.

And they've had to move around, your wife Mari, who I've been lucky to know for a very long time, is much like you, an accomplished film director. So you guys have moved around, your kids, not as like on trips, but, hey we live in Pittsburgh now, because she's directing a movie about Mr. Rogers. So does Wiley, do you feel like as a kid, he thinks of that as a trip?

I don't know. We had to live in Berlin as well for a little while, because Mario's doing the Queen's Gambit out there. So we were there for the same amount of time. It was basically like four and a half months. So it's always been that it's crossed over into his school year. So it's a little bit beyond a trip because then you're also going to school there. So he's gone to school in Pittsburgh and Berlin and LA recently. And yeah, so it's like, he's had to, it's like the summer plus two months or something like that. So we, I don't know what he thinks of it as like, it's actually another like, like now I'm creating my own family trips and the, I think maybe the best trip that,

cause I make a lot of dad decisions of like, this will be fine. And when it was just Wiley, cause there's a pretty big gap, he's nine, our daughter's three. But when we were in Berlin, I decided to take him, Mari had to go to London for a second. This sounds very hoity-doy. We're like jet-setting.

But she has to be in London for the weekend. And I was like, I'm going to go to this place that these stuntman guys, when I was working on Kung Fury, the movie, I met all these German stunt people who were like, you got to go to this place called Tropical Islands. And you should look this up, gotta go to this place called Tropical Islands. And you should look this up, but there's a place called Tropical Islands,

it's about 45 minutes outside of Berlin, and it's in the most massive old Soviet era, it's going east, Soviet era Zeppelin factory. So it's the biggest like twinkie, like concrete looking twinkie you've ever seen. And you're like, like just so unbelievably massive. And they created a water park in it. So I was like, I'll bring my then like four year old to tropical alone, like I'll just bring him there. So I drive to

tropical islands. And then, you know, it's a theme. It's a what it was amazing, like there's Tropical Islands and then, you know, it's a theme, it's amazing, like there's like a jungle inside it and you can take a hot air balloon ride inside the thing and we go there and then I just proceed to feed him nothing but like fries and candy for like six hours. I'm just like, yeah, this is great. It's vacation.

It's fine, yeah. And then getting home. I mean, just like, and then wondering why he's like melting down. Just like screaming at me. And like, you know, it's a good... Well, we saw you, we were in Pittsburgh and Cross Paths, and I want to say grab lunch or something like that, but you've had a couple occasions to sort of be a dad in a new place where, I mean, I know that you're always working as well, but when Mari is shooting something, you might end up as like, now I'm a dad in Berlin with a kid, or now I'm a dad in Pittsburgh.

And you've had to sort of adapt to those different cities, and you seem to really be enjoying it when you're in Pittsburgh in terms of like, oh, it's a whole new world of stuff. We're a good couple for that sort of thing. Like when Mari's like, because Mari, I think when deciding to do the Queen's Gambit, she was also like, who's going to watch this show about chess? Like really, like, come on. I was like, yeah, but you should do it. Like, we like, yeah. So yeah, like I'm definitely a good partner

for that sort of thing. I'm just like, this will be fine. Like whether it's like, yeah. Or like, I'm definitely a good partner for that sort of thing. I'm just like, this will be fine. Like whether it's like, playing video or just like being overly optimistic. That's kind of what I mean by like dad decisions. I think that those are like, I was just talking to Avi the other day, and he was like, should I go to that?

Like after we were going to, this is Kristen Wigg's husband, but Avi was like, in addition to going to this ninja trampoline park that we were at, he was like, in addition to going to this like ninja trampoline park that we were at, he was like, I think we ought to go to the Natural History Museum. I was like, yeah, man, push it. Get him some candy.

God love him. When you touch down in a Berliner out of Pittsburgh, do you just start sort of, you know, Googling or reaching out to figure like what are good things to do with a kid here? Like what are my? I like to like sort of either drive around or run around like and just sort of figure out things based on that so much. And then there were things that I would immediately do in places where like somehow I always ended up at a skate shop kind of thing. I guess maybe it's because I Google,

where's best skate shop. I bought a skateboard there and I would skate at this park near where his school was. and I met these guys and I was like, oh, there's a film production coming. Because I'm writing with people in Los Angeles and they come in at 10 in the morning. So if you're done at 6.30. to like sometimes 5 in the morning. Then I would drive, go back to bed as long as I could. Then I would drive Wiley to school. Then I would go to the skate park to try to make myself tired.

Then I would go back to bed. And I would start all over again. For like... I like the Germans, Germans think an American skater, their stereotype now is they just do it to fall asleep. Well, when you're my age, and by the way, I don't skate much anymore because I have this, I know you can't see the scar, but like the last time I really tried was a, so yeah. Yeah. I will say that the kind of dad you are, it's like, let's just go to the place

the German stuntmen recommended. It does like, because another thing in ACEs that really made me laugh was when he asked your dad where you were going in Hawaii, your dad was like, it's like kind of a scene. That's such a funny thing. They party, they party pretty hard. They party pretty hard. That's such a funny thing for a dad to tell an eight year old. Yeah, yeah. All the other crazy thing in researching this with my parents was that both of them, their

response when I was like, yeah, I was disappointed. They were both of their responses was like, wow. Like they just, they had no idea. I will say, I'm going to guess based on your parents and based on their philosophy about the world, they also would probably be like, yeah, sorry Yoram, our friends got evicted. I'm sorry you had a bad vacation.

That was my mom, it wasn't so much of that. It was my mom was like, you know what? You learned something. And you know, it's not wrong. I just don't know if I would like, you know, call it a vacation. I would say you did a grandparent's move when you were calling it a dad move,

but like bringing a kid to a water park and just feeding him sugar for like six hours. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. Like, because, you know, because I feel like grandparents sort of feel like they have this like diplomatic community of like, hey man, what they do in my six hours. Yes, I just- I'm above the law. It's always different when you don't,

there's no one to hand off that child to. When my, I remember the first time, I think the first time our oldest had ice cream was with my father-in-law, who's the best dude in the world. But he came home and Alex was like, did you give him ice cream? And he went, he liked it. And I said, we didn't think he wouldn't like it.

Yeah. We weren't, I was just laughing. First of all, I was very pro the idea of like, that's exactly how we should get ice cream for the first time is on the sly with his grandpa. Like, so I got no problem. But it was so, I was like, your defense stinks. I just like it when parents now,

when it shifts a little bit, where they're kind of in the kid position of like, oh, but no, but I didn't mean, you know, like we did that with my mom a lot too. parents now, when it shifts a little bit, we're there kind of in the kid position of like, we did that with my mom a lot too, like pandemic, because we were out there in the bay for the birth of my daughter. Granted it was pandemic time, so we had some rules couldn't go in a store. And then we'd come back and yeah, she'd brought him to get a good ice cream. And you were like, it's a store. It's still a store.

And she's like, well, you know what? Okay, but. And you're like, well, the dynamic has shifted here. You also wonder how much the kid is sort of pushing that, being like, grandma, please, grandma, please. Then it's like, well, I'm not going to. You're pretty good. I can make his dreams come true in these moments.

Yeah. Were your parents, were they big on, were they okay with sweets? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think we had probably, no exaggeration, I would say we ate ten times more sweets than my kids. Oh, easily.

Yeah. Maybe higher. Your kids eat sweets that aren't sweets. Like they get tricked. I have a joke in my stand-up which is their cookie is what we used to have to eat to get a cookie. Like that's how healthy their cookies are. Yeah. It was like, if you finish this weird, like smash dates shaped into a circle. See, that's that was my upbringing. Like because we had like carob.

Oh, yeah. That's I remember Sandberg said the same thing, but you Berkeley kids were like, wait. No, no, there was a moment where me and my friends snuck a bottle of vitamin C. We ate an entire bottle of vitamin C. And I calculated it and was like, oh, we ate 50,000 times our daily allowance. Just now.

And just peed like electric. Yeah, like I'll go to Seth's house and like my nephew Ash will be like, oh, do you want an ice cream, Uncle Poshy? And I'll be like, sure. And I'll go to the fridge and Alex will be like, it's not ice cream. It's something else. Yeah, like do you want a cookie? And she's like, it's not a cookie. But I'll be like, it's not a cookie, but I'm basically sure.

It's like, they all have the texture of an old coin. Like that's how hard it is to fight through one of the cookies. You're looking in the right places then. That's really hippie-dippie shit. Cause it's like, I felt it all got better. Like back in the seventies, which I can say. Oh, I will say that's like, I mean, like, well well Josh is, you know, Josh is a vegan and even in just like the last few years, like, hasn't, like the food tastes so much better. Your options taste better.

Vegan food tastes way better, way better. Yeah. Also, last time I was with Seth and his family, the kids got these little like parfait desserts and it was like this fake chocolate thing with some fruit and whipped cream and they were like, where's this whipped cream from? And Alexi had to be like, I made it. And they were like, oh. She's like, yeah, I made the mistake of one time giving them like ready whip. And now if I like make them like, well, there's a whole world of homemade whipped cream. They're like, this is garbage. First time, but then it's, by the way,

the first time Ash had a real hot chocolate, because there were no other options, we'd taken, we were in New Mexico where Alexa's is, we'd taken this gondola up. Oh, you've, you know, he shot McGruby there, you know, but like that crazy gondola that goes to the top of this. And again, you get up there and it's like this little chalet and Ash is with his cousin.

And so they shared a, literally shared a hot chocolate that was a real one and then he threw up and we had to like give him an hour long bath. We had to cancel dinner reservations because it's like wow, we can't. He had half a hot chocolate, we're not sure he's going to make it. Yeah, he's going to be a real joy

when he goes off to college. He's going to be like, oh, Ash has to go lay on the bathroom floor again. He's back be a real joy when he goes off to college. Yeah, I'm gonna be like, oh, Ash has to go lay on the bathroom floor again. He's back with the nurse. We'd be at that, like Ash's frat house, like we had to hold his hair back while he puked up M&Ms. Yeah.

Support for the Lonely Island comes from Thrive Market. Right, Seth? 100% right, Yoram. And let me tell you something, we get a Thrive box once a week, and I'm over the moon because I know that my wife, Alexi, you've met her, you were at our wedding. I was.

She cares very deeply about the food that we put inside our children. She cares a little bit less deeply about the food she puts inside of me. But once I know it's healthy, then I feel very safe, and you know, nothing makes me feel more like a man than when I sneak into our pantry late at night and have a healthy turkey jerky

that has been purchased via Thrive Market. Just very quietly eating food that was meant for my children. That I did it this morning, Seth, with Thrive. And it was on the way to school. It was handed to me to give to my four-year-old daughter, ate it all myself. Here's a feature I can't live without, Yarm. The Healthy Swap Scanner in the Thrive Market app. Here's how it works. You scan a product you're used to buying and it instantly recommends cleaner,

healthier alternatives. For my family, this has been a game changer. We made some fantastic swaps. Instead of sugar packed snacks, we're stocking up on brands like Simple Mills crackers, Annie's, Mac and Cheese, Chomps, Beef Sticks. Those are the ones i'm eating in the pantry if you do it quietly it doesn't actually make a chomp so nobody knows you're in there okay good life hack are you ready for a junk free start to 2025 yorm yes thank you absolutely 100 you know what you appreciate me more than the other two guys head to thrivemarket.com slash island and get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's thrive, T-H-R-I-V-E, market.com slash island, thrivemarket.com slash island.

Jared Sussman Yoram, a lovely trip I took. And again, a lot of times I speak and almost like try to legally defend myself against Josh calling it out as not a family trip. But when your family began, I went on a trip to your wedding and it was fantastic. It was in Big Sur. Yeah. Correct? Carmel, very close.

Carmel, close. But it was a really lovely and also like everything, there was a real nice wavy gravy vibe to the whole deal. Oh, was there? Yeah. No, from your perspective, that's nice to hear. Yeah. I mean, I feel like there were a lot of like, there were like people where like yoga was

a profession. Oh, well, yeah. That set the tone. You know what I mean? Like there was, it was like comedy slash yoga. No, that, okay, that really set the tone because the woman who married us was a yoga instructor, is our friend who we went on yoga retreat with. So that really set that tone. And then later was on Kay and then.

I think it was the first time I was somewhere, and God, correct me if I'm wrong, she maybe started by making us thank the people who the land, does that sound right? A land acknowledgement? Yes, and I'm sure that was, I think it was the first time I heard a land acknowledgement out loud. Yeah, yeah, I think that that is right. And it's also like, that's always a fun one because you ask your friend to do it

and then you're like, oh, that's what you're gonna say. Like, you know, I was like, that's just a big surprise to me as it was to you. Yeah, I always said, but it was great. And the other thing, now I'm treading on dangerous ground because it's a little bit of an SNL story. So I'll make it quick, Josh. But I will say, I think the Peyton Manning show

where Forte did that dancing scene where he was a basketball coach had happened the previous year because it was a summer wedding. And then this woman, like an older woman said to Will, I love that so much and then Will just did the full dance. He just like, it was that thing where, when you compliment for it, take you in. Like, I felt like halfway through it, I was worried the woman was going to be like,

uh-huh, no, no, I remember it. It was during the wedding he did this. No, no, no, it was like at the hotel wedding. Oh, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, yeah. But it was one of those really fun, I mean, those weddings, and there were a few of them, mine was right at the tail end of it, but like, it was, that was, fun, I mean those weddings, and there were a few of them. Mine was right at the tail end of it.

But like it was, it felt like an SNL wedding. It was a lot of fun. Yeah, it really was. And Josh, I'm sorry I didn't invite you. You weren't, you know. That's okay. If it's more SNL stuff, I'm glad I missed it. I get it.

Yeah. This was awesome. Was that all we had from Asa? Because the one thing I want to say is how much I enjoy Asa's voice. I love my brother's voice. He's fantastic. In fact, we just did a thing for this Knuckles Sonic the Hedgehog spin-off show that he did all the music for and he plays the voice of this demon.

So when you see episode four, that's my brother. He did one more that was about a fight that I had with my dad that I don't remember that was on the show. My mom said that my brother and my dad got into it and that it got physical. I guess Yoram punched my dad or something. I told this to my dad, he was like, I have no recollection of that, but he said that like some months prior, Yoram had graduated eighth grade and after the graduation ceremony, he disappeared with his friend Winston for like five hours

and my parents were like losing their ship, freaking out. And when he came home, he was just like, I'm not going on the Hawaii trip. Nobody understands me, only Winston understands me. That was the quote that my dad remembered, and he said, like, oh shit, like, this is how it's about to be when we're out in Hawaii. Like, it's just going to be an uphill battle for Yhorm.

Not for me, I was chilling. So, aren't you glad I played that? I'm so glad! Do you now, is Winston, do you remember Winston? Yeah, well, okay. Winston, my friend Winston Ross and a guy named Mark Shotland, I was really, I was very good pals with right before I met Akiva. I met Akiva when I was 12 years old.

So yeah, so I met those guys and we were in, it was the first comedy rep that I was ever involved in. We were in a group called Strike Three because we had each struck out with ladies. It was super cool. Yeah, so we would write raps about, I guess it wasn't comedy, it was comedy rap from an outside perspective.

For us, it was just emotional rap. Right, right. You didn't think Strike Three was funny. No. You were like, we're showing you our full hearts. But me and Winston did some pretty good, we did some pretty good pranks though. We did a lot of prank calling because you could do that back in the day. So our big, the one I was the most proud of, because I was like, this is a really weird

joke for two 12-year-olds to come up with. We would call in our little voices, we would call people's houses, and we would find an answering machine, and then we would read, we'd fill up their answering machine by reading John Steinbeck's The Red Pony. We'd just keep calling back and be like, where was I? Chapter two. That's a fucking weird joke for a couple of hours. Like just thinking about our little, some of the old voices being like, chapter two.

And that's how Audible started. That's how Audible started. Bay Area, that's when Bay Area became a tech hub. Somebody was like, this is amazing. I'm listening to the Red Brownie. I did listen to it to a good of best. The best one that I get, Higgins does to me, Steve Higgins, that's an old producer that Yarm and I know,

first time McConaughey hosted, he told a story in his monologue and Higgins said, you should practice it and record it. And so McConaughey recorded this long story about his dad. And then like every three years I'll get a voicemail and it's just like, ah, and then I'll remember my dad's, and I'm like, what is this? And I'm like, oh, fucking Higgins.

Just literally finds it and then plays it into, just like I think- Those are the best jokes to me. Those are the best jokes. With the advent of AI, this is in the same vein. I'm just like, I wanted to find old emails that I hadn't responded to and then have AI write a book as a response. Like, be like, write 300 pages on how sorry I am that I didn't get it.

And then send that years later, like, dear Sam, I'm so sorry I missed that. Just like, rrrraaah! Why did I miss it in the first place? Yeah. I looked around my place for the sweatshirt you said you left over here. I just can't seem to find it anywhere. Do you looking back, do you think it's true that Winston was the only one who understood you?

Maybe. It's possible. I mean, it's, you know. It must be a funny thing when people become teens, when kids become teens, that you actually then start commiserating with the younger kid about like, look out for this one. Like all of a sudden an eight year old is more rational. It does feel like, I know we're hearing Aysa's perspective

as an adult, but did you really? From those two short messages. This was always the dynamic though, Seth. Aysa was always cooler than me. Like Aysa, okay, just to give some context. First of all, my brother's in a band called Electric Guest. He's a very talented music producer. He's an incredible musician.

So he's a cool lead singer of a band. Always been cool as shit. When the first time I met Asa, because I will say, all jokes aside, I thought you were cool. Yeah, I'm fine. When you showed up at SNL. I'm totally fine.

I do not think you're a nerd anyway. When your brother showed up, I thought you were the're a nerd anyway. When your brother showed up, I thought you were the biggest fucking nerd in the world. Next to Asa. Asa's like me from Concentrate. Everything's sharper, smaller, more compact. and like proms he could go to in the Bay Area. I think he went to 13.

I met a girl, two girls introduced themselves to me on the same day, to me, his brother, as their girlfriend. I was like, I'm in strike three. Yeah, exactly. So to get back to that. So I used to record myself on an audio cassette. And when I was rejected, this was real painful, when I got my strike, I recorded a lot of myself, making like, and you know, and she just, she didn't like me, I guess.

You know, it was like a lot of that. Like 10 minutes of that. And then years later, my brother found this tape and he was like, dude, I found this tape of this girl like crying about something. I was like, that's not a girl. That's me. That's not a girl.

That's me. That's not a girl. I was like, yeah, this is perfect. I mean, I was hopeful that he had remixed it, that he had remixed it, that he had used his multitude of music skills to make it. If we only had that to go out on. I know.

And here it is. What a delight. Thank you to both you and Asa for the work you put into this. But before you go, Posh has some questions. Yes. All right. Here we go, Y we go. You can only pick one of these is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous or educational? I think it's adventurous. All right. What's your favorite means of transportation? Train,

plane, automobile, boat, bike, your own two feet? Real Joe Biden. I do like train. All right. I feel like train a lot of people train. Well, that's the romantic answer. Like if I'm a real Joe Biden. I do like trains. All right. I feel like trains. A lot of people train. Well, that's the romantic answer. Like if I'm probably being watched, it's like, oh, it's a fast plane. It's a romantic answer. But I think if we had, it's also a good reminder, if we had better trains in this country, I think a lot of people are right there.

Ready. On the lot, ready to take them. Yeah. If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, fictional or real, other than your own family, what family would you like to take a vacation with? Oh, alive or dead, fictional or real, other than your own family, what family would you like to take a vacation with? Oh, alive or dead, like, so are people mostly choosing like historical figures?

I mean, some, some are like, you know, friends or other, you know, celebrity families or. Yeah, it'd probably be like, it's hard not to, like Macho Man's family, you know. Randy Macho Man Savage. Like Mach like Macho Man's family. Randy Macho Man Savage. And I would hope it would be somewhere in Florida. By the way, just a little shout out, Macho Man released a rap album and it's called Be a Man Hulk. It's a dis-album to Hulk Hogan. is one of the best things you've ever heard.

He says, kick ya in the butt a lot. It's fucking great. I'm glad you said if you haven't heard it for all the listeners who were like, I heard that's a wrestling and rap fans. I don't even know if that's comedy. It's comedy actually. Yeah. It's full on comedy.

If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? Asa, coolest guy ever. Asa, great. Yeah, no, I mean, that'd be my pick. And Berkeley, your hometown is Berkeley? Indeed. Would you recommend Berkeley as a vacation destination?

No. As kids, we were like, we thought it was like an urban hub. And I was like, this is like the coolest, Berkeley's like hardcore. And then as soon as I moved away, I was like, oh, I lived in like a quaint college town with cafes. Yeah. Well, that sounds, it could be lovely.

I've actually never been to Berkeley. I would like to see Berkeley. I went and did a show there once and one of you guys told me, sent me to a very good burrito place. Gordo Burritos. I'll pronounce it correctly even though everyone says it with an S.

But Gordo Burritos, yeah. And in fact, there was a moment at SNL, was Andy was like having an animated discussion with Billy Joe from Green Day, and I walked up and I was like, you guys talking about Gordo? And they're like, yeah. And then Seth has our final questions.

Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No. Where do you want to go? Yeah, are you inviting? No. Would you want to go? Yeah. Are you inviting? No. Okay. We just, Josh and I, Josh has barely been and I haven't been and Josh really wants to

do it and I really don't. Why don't you want to? That's- I mean, I probably will. Isn't it like one of the seven wonders of the world or something? It's like- There's no way of knowing. Yeah, don't do it.

Yeah. We're not going to look into that. But I just But I just feel like, I think it's a seven. Yeah, I do. It's the wonder why people go there. Was that fast enough? Sick burn. Was that a fast enough burn? I don't know if I was sick enough.

Can we take the air out? So it's like right after. And this is very exciting. And hopefully Josh won't be deeply jealous. Myself, Andy Samberg, and Akiva Schaffer have a new podcast that just came out about the Lonely Island, about all the famous Lonely Island songs, as well as the ones that are unfamous and the ones that are infamous. I hope Josh is jealous about this, because I'm really excited about it,

and I want to cut into your family time. I'm not jealous, I'm very excited. I mean, there are songs that you guys have that will stick in my head. I jog very often to your music, to like complete albums of yours. I think it's great. Yeah, I've always been a fan.

And yeah, I'm looking for them. Which to tell me just to prove it, what song have you jogged to? That whole album that the Michael Bolton track is on. So badly, one of you would be like, poodle hat. No, it's a turtleneck and chain, I want to say. Is it that? Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. All right,, I want to say. Is it that? Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good one. All right, you perfected. I love it. You perfected. And then very often, if I'm about to leave the house and I can't find my wallet and my keys, or once I have everything, I'll go, okay, I'm reloaded, and then I leave.

Oh my God. It's amazing to me that he really did just love doing that impression. I think that's how it came about. I've been like, well, I can do Scarface. You're a surprising person. It's made its way into my everyday. And then there was a song that we did called Trouble on Dookie Island and we wanted to have a Scarface sample on it

because it was like a crime story, like Wu-Tang style crime story. And we were like, how much is that? Every time you use the sample it's $10,000? And also Josh is going to enjoy it because I think Josh will have less of an issue with SNL stories being on a podcast that is specifically about SNL stories. Yeah, maybe he'll get it out of your system and he'll stop. Yeah. Yeah, well maybe Seth will get it out of his system. That's what I'm saying.

Stop. That's what I'm talking about. He is the problem. You're fine. Yeah, it almost never comes up because of Josh. The real bummer would be if when Josh listens to the Lonely Island podcast, if all the stories are about family trips. Why are they in over here?

Yeah. What if it's really sweet though? It's all just like, you know, talking about how much he loves his brother. Oh yeah. Yeah. You should tune in, Josh. Yeah. Well.

I'm just like, a lot of me, be tell him, be like, enough about your songs. You know what really rules my brother. Tell me more stories about voicemails that Steve Higgins left for you. I think that people are gonna like the. Yeah, by the way, Josh knows Steve Higgins. Doesn't he like someone only you and I know? I know, but sometimes for the listener.

All right, well, Yoram, love you very much. Love you too. Yeah, hope to see you soon. Thanks Asa. Yes and if you want to go to the Grand Canyon, Josh, I'm all in. Great, excellent. Asa and I are going to do some cool shit instead. Oh what? All right pal, thank you. He wanted some now and laters, was just living his life Neighbor said I'ma kill you with his own kitchen knife Wasn't great with the ladies, so he started strike three Yelled at his dad only, Winston understands me Twelve-year-old Yama Takoni took a Hawaiian vacay

He was so disappointed when he saw where he'd stayed It was a structure made of driftwood with a tarp for a door There were flying cockroaches And you slept on the floor But his bro ain't so loved it He was the cooler tween Freakin' love and a whole lot He was part of the scene Went down to water's luck with slick moss Going to a new house You might be more like Aester If he only knew how