The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Golden Girls Theme

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

This week on The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast, the guys are back from the holidays and discussing a short they describe as “okay.” It’s Golden Girls’ Theme from Season 35, Episode 21 on May 8, 2010 featuring the entire cast of SNL (plus some guests and definitely not Seth) and host, Betty White. Before they get into that though, they catch up, respond to some comments and thoughts from over the break, and generally waste time to avoid talking about this short. But they’re happy to be back podcasting! Akiva at the Critics Choice Awards righteous kill | https://www.instagram.com/reels/DTHeRbWkdkS/ Seth Burning Andy on Late Night | https://youtu.be/Ua1oGgSWKJw?si=w7_cT8HtGjJb2Xt8&t=471 MacGruber: Grandma | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tScJ1ik6peI Scared Straight: Bullying with Betty White | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0HO07pbRe8 Send us an email: [e-mail] Send us a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/thelonelyisland Send us stuff: P.O. Box 4024 New York, NY 10185 Photos and everything else can be found by following us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod Support our sponsors: Article Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/discount/island and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. Coop Let Coop help you show up feeling rejuvenated and ready to go. Get 20% off your first order and try Coop risk-free with a 100-night sleep-better guarantee at https://coopsleepgoods.com/ISLAND Shopify In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/lonelyisland Bombas Head over to https://Bombas.com/island and use code island for 20% off your first purchase. Fabric Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ISLAND Policies issued by Western-Southern Life Assurance Company. Not available in certain states. Prices subject to underwriting and health questions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the lonely island and Seth Myers podcast. Yeah. Oh, we got so much to talk about it. Everybody start recording. Let's just start. Wait, you guys, before we start, this is no shade to our lovely, amazing composer. But I did make a new theme song that I want to play you guys right now.

Oh, let's peep that out. Yeah, let's hear it. We'd love to hear it. Get ready to have your mind blown. Get ready. That was it. I mean, I really liked it. I wanted the crashing to go for two full nights.

Yeah. I blew it on that. Is that a combination of explosions and just like twisting metal sounds? It's very classic. Only Highland Cube. Yes. It was everything I wanted it to be.

I mean, yeah. Classic. This has nothing to do with what I just played you guys. But I did want to tell you guys that a regular mail is just being sent to me now. And I was just given this. That came for all of us, this giant pack of Red Bull. Tall cans of Red Bull just in case we felt like just getting crazy.

Yeah, but that in no way influenced what just happened. He's got one. Tall can of Red Bull, yeah. All right, here's the thing. Yoram's drinking a tall can of Red Bull. This is weird because we've had three episodes of the podcast without the four of us being together. You guys did a listener episode.

then we snuck in a basically a repeat. Then I did an episode with Quest and Lynn. We're going to get to all of that, but it's very nice to see you guys again. And we just have a little bit of housekeeping, a little bit of catching up to do. Yeah, the holidays. And Seth, how are you?

Are you feeling sleepy? Are you feeling like amped? Do you feeling drunk? I'm a little, so actually a little, it's great. I'm a little sleepy because I flew out to L.A. Because my brother turned 50. And so I got on a 10 p.m. flight from New York. landed at 2 in the morning, went to a hotel,

slept, went on a long hike with jog. Then we went to lunch. I accidentally had one and a half cocktails. So that was a huge mistake. Yeah, accidents can happen. Then took a 10-minute nap, and then Josh shook me away because it was time for this. Great. And maybe fighting a little bit of a cold and also getting on a red eye tonight.

That's so weird. Are you going to drink on the red eye to put yourself to sleep or no? I don't think I'll have any trouble falling asleep. I don't think I'm going to have to grease those rails. You've always been a good airplane sleeper, Seth. I have. I can crush the airplane. Yep. I slept takeoff to landing last night.

But, first of all, I want to start by saying, congratulations, Akiva, on your critic's choice win. Mm-hmm. Oh, thank you so much. Naked Gunn. CCA. Our man. Best comedy. Best comedy.

It was a thrill. It was amazing. Also, we should post it in the chat. You crushed a righteous kill on the carpet. Oh, yeah, you did drop a righteous kill. You certainly did. Yeah, I did drop one in there. Very happy to do it.

You know, I wasn't doing interviews, so I was just walking down the carpet, like, passed where everyone's doing interviews. But there was, like, two different clearly interviewers who, if they said Quaid Army or Akiva, then I was like, okay, I'll go to them because they're nice. And so I have it locked and loaded. It's hard to do sometimes. Exactly. But when you're on that, and you're in that environment, I feel like you're so on that you're going to hit it. But it wasn't like they didn't open with Quaid Army. I mean, they did like a proper interview with you and then dropped it to the end.

And you were right on top of it. Well, thank you. Just like Fight Club. People are sneaky with it. People are sneaky with it. I got one at Shake Shack today, and I was late with the righteous kill. Oh, you were a little late. Oh, that's probably good for your recovery.

Shake Shack, good call. Shake Shack and Sugar-Free Red Bull, tall can. It made me so tired for like four hours. And I was like, what's wrong with me? And I was like, oh, that's probably that. But you were like, you had a giant tall Red Bull at home here. I got the red Bull. I know how to fix this.

Yeah. A tall, a giant Red Bull like that. Is it the same amount as a small one and they dilute it just because you want more to drink? Or is it drinking? I don't know. hard know on that. So it's two Red Bulls? I don't think the good people at Red Bull are like, we need to dilute it. It's just two in a row. Next week's episode coming to you live from Yorham's funeral. What's your doctor's name? I can't believe he was a guest on the

pond of our name. I forgot. Oh, would you just say, Greg. Okay. I think I like that you forgot your doctor's name too. I was kidding. Hey, but we were, you know, critics choice rolls into, we're recording this right before Golden Globes. It's Golden Globes weekend. We've all been before. Andy, you've won. That's right. You both have hosted. We've both hosted. And I do like to mention this, Seth.

I technically won two because I am a producer on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Oh, congratulations. Thank you so much. I do have two in my home, and that feels good for me. That is good for book-ending books, you know? Exactly. But there's now a podcast category in the Globes. Ooh, let's get into it.

I just, yeah, I just want to say, like, we want that. We want, we don't want to win it, but we want an invitation because we, do believe we can get permission to go as nominees. Correct. Permission from our wives, you're saying? Yes. We'll be able to hang out. We can take this to our families.

Yeah. There might be a dinner beforehand and maybe even like a drink during. I mean, we could make a whole night of it, guys. We can have Red Bull and vodka. Where do they put the podcast tables in that room, though? Oh, my God. It's outside. We know the hierarchy.

That's got to be in that back. Look, we're living in 2026. I bet the podcast table. are closer to the stage than a lot of those, you know. I bet they're front and fucking center. I bet they're front and fucking center. You think there's more than one table? You don't think it's one podcast table

and then they give you a plus one? Do you think we're actually at a disadvantage because they're like, we can't nominate those guys? That's a fucking whole table. That's eight people if we let them bring plus ones. I think they do think along those lines, yeah, of like who sits where and if they have no room. They let Dax bring his chair.

The armchair? They've let him bring an armchair. They're like, that'll be more fun for people to see him. Well, if he didn't have it, he would no longer be an expert. Is that correct? Correct. He'd just be a guy. Yeah, it's his superpower.

So we want that. So Hollywood foreign press, Sven, Helga, Hans, whatever. We need this. I don't think that's the way to get it. But in, Madam Mim, Broom Hilda. Let us in, bitch! Look, I know they have not given me permission to say this. The Lonely Island, we'll do a song.

Nominate us, they'll do a song. Well, we'll do an original. Like the one your bit at the top of this. Yeah. I'll bang that up in a hot second. Do you want to play it again, Yoram? You want to play it one more time. Play it again.

Now that we're ready for it. Yeah, get ready for the set, my own. Get ready for the set, my yos and lonely Ireland. The podcast show, yeah. It'd be amazing if the second time I played it, I had a longer exploded. Yeah. I do have a second note. Oh, I don't know if it's on purpose, but I do think it's very funny that twice in a very short song it tells you to get rid of.

Like I think the it says get ready, which I guess is get ready for the song. Right. Get ready to have your mind blown by the song. Seth is two different guys. Get ready for the podcast. There was two different guys. It was two different guys. Oh, it's two different guys.

Yorm, uh, is that an official normal guy song or? It's on its way. It's on its way of being official. But like for someone who's following normal guy as an artist. Yeah. I did want to, I did want to do a whole normal guy album for all of our listeners out there. I never got to it. It's very sad.

Yeah. I mean, I think. For all the fan. For all the fan. For all the fan. Really listenable. For all the fan. Oh, speaking of righteous kill, I sent you guys a picture.

We'll put this in the chat as well. Couple came to my show. Jay and Shannon, charity winners, backstage meet and greet. And then Jay at the end of the conversation slides me a challenge coin. If you ever met anybody in the middle. military. They have these challenge coins, has a sort of rank on it, their unit. They're so cool. And they made me a quade army challenge coin. But it's specific to me. And there's a couple things. One, I mean, Jay Shannon, if you're listening, I think the other dudes would love one.

And then also, my rank was general. That seems right. I think that is correct. That does seem, yeah. And also, I think that the more I thought about it, I realized this is, as armies go, this is a rag tag army. Well, like, what are our ranks? Well, that's, well, somebody else. Would you want? Decide that, Andy. What would I want? Yeah. President.

He's got those all the ranks. He is the leader of the armed forces. And or emperor. A bunch of privates over here. Anyways, a lot in the show notes already. Give me a lot in the show notes. Oh, at the Critics' Choice, I saw Kevin. Kevin Miller.

Yeah. I feel like that's podcast relevant. Yeah. That's our Kevin. That's our Kevin Miller. I think you know what I'm going to ask. Hmm. Did you hook up?

No, we did. But we hung out outside for a while and just watched people walk by and chatted, and it was really nice to see a friendly face. There were lots of friendly faces there, guys. That sounds less hard. That is the nice thing. I mean, you know, I think that award season,

certainly for people in the higher tier of award season, can be very stressful. For us sort of middle and the lower tier, it's really fantastic to realize how many people we're lucky enough to be friends with that you see those things. Yeah. You hosted that one, too.

Did you, no, you didn't host the critics choice. No, IFC. In the past spirits. Boo, chinks. Flammies. Which are in the same place, right? Is that the same? Well, no, the spirits are in the tent in Santa Monica.

This was also in San Monica, but it was at the hangar at the airport. Oh, yeah, that's it. I had always thought the hangar in the tent were the same, but you're right. They're different. So, Keeve, you know what about them clicks? What kind of celebs you bump you up in here? Oh, my gosh. Well, everybody was there.

Who is your faith? Best dress. Keeves five best dress. Somebody who looked like a fucking piece of shit. Quickly. Who was a fucking snack, bitch? Tell us who it was a snack. I'm not going to say any of that.

Gobble, gobble, gobble. Did you want to just gobble on up with a fucking snack mode, bitch? I'm trying to think if there's anything really to say. You know, when I did give my little speech, well, the comedy awards on the red carpet, first off, so I didn't even have to get on stage. But that was a relief to me because I hate, you know,

public speaking. Yeah. So I knew I'd get there, get any obligation and the, I mean, it's not an obligation to win an award. It's awesome. But I just knew I wouldn't have to sit there the whole time wondering, being nervous, which is the part that I personally, you know, it's very, I mean, I'm assuming it's kind of everybody that's sitting in their chair all night, not knowing if they're going to win or lose

is, it makes it very hard to enjoy yourself. And then once your category is done, one way or another, you can relax, at least for a normal person, I would assume. And the fact that I knew it was going to be on the red carpet beforehand is actually part of what convinced me to go, because I was like, oh, I'll be a lot of the be able to go, get that part over with, and then just see some people. How many red bulls you have? I didn't have any red bulls. Actually, like all the word shows, there was no food.

Then someone handed me a tequila, and I felt crazy because I hadn't eaten anything. You did send us a photo of you with an A-lister who was a just two guys fan, and this was not, you did not make this up, right? No, I did not make it up. We didn't clear this with you, Keith. This was told personally, but we're putting you on blast. Yeah. I mean, you could tell it or not, but I feel like this person would not mind. I mean, this is the venue that they would like it to be known to the world, that they are a fan of your work.

Potentially. He did not say Quaid Army, but it was a treat. So I'm out by this kind of outdoor area because that's where I was liking hanging because it's quiet and you can breathe fresh air. And it's by the porta potty. So, like, you can just go as much as you want. Yeah, just huff that fresh air. The freshness there. And by the way, the porta potty and the photo you sent us are heavily featured in the background.

Yeah, yeah. They're nice porta potties, to be fair. That's the place to hang out. Yeah. But anyways, and I see Jacob Allorty showing up to the awards, and he's got, like, you know, a whole crew of people around him, probably security and publicists and stuff. And they're, like, beeline to go in.

And I'm just noticing him because he's, like, six, six. And insanely handsome. And I'm, like, nudging my buddy, Danny going, whoa. Weird that you didn't say a snack, but gone. Yeah, we teed you up. He's a whole meal. But, uh, and then, uh, and so I'm just noticing like, holy shit, that's the, that's the guy.

and then he stops and points at me from like very far away. And I'm like, is that really for me? And then he like has to tell his entourage like, yo, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You guys go in going without me. I got to say so. And then he just beelines to me. And he's like, yo, I got to meet you. What's up, man?

And he just told me about, I'm on a boat is his karaoke song. And that he used to bit Torrent or whatever, Pirate Bay, hot rod back in his college dorm. That was my favorite. Pirate Bay. brought up just two guys or we like sports are one of them one of those so basically just saying like all the sweet spots to make me love this guy forever yeah it's very very tepane doing the ultimate punch where we're already a fan of a person and then they're saying like and you're like you know what this guy's great all the right things to make me be like well I'll love you forever it made it made my day it made my week I was so happy about it because you know I'm a saltburn head you know that yeah so who isn't Elordie, congrats on your success, Allardie. I don't like when guys like Allorty are so handsome.

They're like, I'm going to do this weird little mustache and still be fucking hot as shit. It's still being insane. It's like they're like, I'll dribble with my left hand. That's right. Let's see how this game goes. All four of us grow mustaches and it's just a pack of our crumbs. Four crumbs. We've seen that in the creep video.

We know where that it goes. But Sandler says hi, by the way. That's another one. Speaking of Dube in that voice. That's how he talks. Yep. That was me talking to a Lordeus hip, I guess. All right.

I'm going to do a little bit of going through the three episodes since we haven't talked. Bless your heart. I know you're powering through, Seth. I just want you to know, I appreciate you, ma'am. Yeah, and that's what a general does, though. I'm not even powering through. I'm so happy to be with you. And by the way, I'm also happy when I'm not here because somebody did write after episode 90,

which was the listener episode, like, Seth, don't take offense, but it's so fun when you're not there. And not only do I not take offense, I wholeheartedly agree. I think there's split factions on that, but yes. Episode 90 was a dream come true. I laughed so hard at episode 90. This was described by a member of Quaid Army as the Seth's Away so the Alvin's can play.

What was that one? That was the listener Q&A. And here's another comment. I'm just going to read from one of the members here. Another listener in Q&A without Seth. How long before they get a question? get to an actual question, place your bets. Update, 16 minutes in, no questions answered. Though I did appreciate the ha-ha-you-clowns recommendation, great show. Update number two,

23 minutes in, first question. There you go. I wonder who won. I did watch Haha you clowns after that recommendation. Fucking great. Can we talk about that for a hot day? Dad! Dad! Dad! You're in no condition to drive right now. That's not my bummer. So it's one guy doing all the voices, right? Yes. Yeah, he does the dad too, which is incredible. It's amazing. It's such a funny idea to just make like three kids who all look a little bit of like just the same voice.

Slightly different hair color. Really great. It's the best. It's really. And their girlfriends, slightly different. All matching. Fucking wonderful. Do we want to talk about Zootopia too? A little bit? I'm a big fan. What do you have to say about it? We never talked about it. Andy's a big part in it. Seth dinged me on his show. I know, he showed us the video before this chart and I won. I fucking went after Andy hard.

I was trying to coax him into playing it again. Well, I don't want to talk too much because I, like, it's been out for a while, but I don't want to spoil the plot of Zootopia 2. I'm just gonna play the clip here. You guys are supposed you're grown-ass men. You're talking like the bad guys in Zootopia 2, but not, not Andy Samberg's character. He's a good guy.

Or is he? Or is he? I wouldn't trust that piece of shit. no matter how cutie look. I like that. What I like about that is I'm burning you in the way you talk. That's right. I'm just like,

embodying my spirit. I'm burning you as you. It's a real advantage of you have your own television shows. It is. You know what? Your name it is. And I tell NBC every day. You know what's a real advantage for me?

I'd hate for you guys to take this away. Lose my advantage. I would hate to lose my advantage. When I say something here, Andy has nowhere to retort, but on a podcast that I'm also, on where I can fight a retort. I have very few advantages over Andy currently.

Unless it's three albums and then you're fucking skewed. In Andy's life was the movie challengers. The show is a real advantage. Yorm, that can looks empty, Yorm. That can look so light when we just look a good job. I'm almost about to cash it.

I'll tell you when it's cashed. Oh, I'm going to jump around a little bit. Somebody said like from now on. House of pain. Oh, for jump around? Yeah. Yeah. Can we play that?

You were so late that I had to think, I can't get down. I'm going to get down. I'm going to get down. All right, go on. Who's that red bull? Fuck. That if you drink or eat on the podcast, the punishment is that's your avatar on YouTube.

Oh, fuck. I fucking blew it. So you've got to be a can of Red Bull on this episode. And a burrito, a burrito can of a barrito. Well, yeah, last episode you're a burrito. Andy's obviously going to be an apple. Oh, the burrito brain. That's what happened.

We're going to get to a burrito brain. That was most of the comments. Oh, right. I did eat an apple. once. I guess I was kind of a hypocrite. Yeah. A lot of people made that exact observation. Did they? Oh, shit. Yeah.

They're not going to forget that. Also, by the way, somebody called me, Questlove, and Lynn episode, uh, three Daves. I don't know if I agree with that assessment. That's fair. I mean, look, I think it's a one Dave and two fucking musical geniuses. They were making

me laugh, man. You guys were funny. This is wonderful. Somebody wrote this is the second time that without Seth, the conversation is somehow landed on burritos. Well, we're Bay Boys. Another person wrote just imagining Seth with his head and his hands for the burrito brain chunk of this episode.

He went from 1.5x to 3x. Not true. Burrito brain was, I mean, I wish it could have gone forever. I mean, look, it's a real affliction and it needs to be addressed. And I feel like it is going to be addressed in the next Spider-Man movie. It might even be like the villain.

Oh, yeah, it might be. I really hope it does. We got a little confirmation from one of the writers, but I don't want to, you know, put anything out there that one of the Spidey's most likely has Burrito Brain. Oh my God, what? Yeah. But I also, I felt bad because I wasn't there to make my case, because I would really be upset if, like, I didn't, you know, Hater and I did write at an issue of Spider-Man back in the day. I recall. I'd love a piece of whatever this is. You wrote an issue of, oh, that's right. You did write an issue of Spider-Man. That's amazing.

I'm just worried, like, Keeves going to be the voice of, like, Burrito Brain and Spider-Man, and, like, Yorm's already in, you're already in. And, like, I'd love a piece of it, too. Yeah, you got to make your case. fucking fair. Yeah. What Spider-Man would you like to be, Seth? I think, is there a Spider-Man who goes, Albert?

There is now. No reason there can't be, in my opinion. Which counts? Hey, I forget what you guys were talking about, a total recall logo on a license plate. That we actually showed. That was a photo we got sent, right? Yeah.

Yeah, someone designed it. And somebody said, you guys talked about the total recall font on the license plate holder, but not the Pyramid Minds logo from the movie poster. Oh, right. It was that there were the little Pyramid Minds. but we didn't have the reference right in front,

so I was trying to remember what that little doodad was. Anyway, I felt like people were being a little harsh on you guys, but it is funny. Thank you, said. I mean, let's not try and act like the pyramid minds logo wasn't ripped straight off the dark side of the moon on the mood board. Right. We're not going to pretend that.

We're not going to pretend. Dark side of the moon, the album guys, not Transformers Dark of the Moon. I fucking cashed it, you guys. I cashed it. The fucking Red Bulls gone. Guys, I cashed it. Oh, perfect. I just wanted everyone on here to know I texted Mari when this started.

Like, you need to go. get this Red Bull out of his hand, which I guess she's not home. God damn, why you got to solve me out, bro? Don't do that. Support comes from Article. Hello, everybody. Akiva here to talk to you about Article. Article is a furniture store that is online that I will admit I hadn't heard of until this.

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I don't think that was special podcast treatment, you know, where they bring it in and they assemble it and they take away all the trash. And it was honestly the best thing that's come out of this podcast. It's nice to see the guys every week, but this dresser, it's going to outlive us all. All right, now I'm going to tell you a little bit about article. Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an unbeatable price. article offers a curated range of mid-century modern coastal and scandy i'm assuming that means scandinavian inspired pieces that not only shine on their own but also pair seamlessly with nearly any other article product article takes great care in curating its collection focusing solely on

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He's gonna just finish any sentence with an old song. Don't leave a long ass pause then, that's clearly the name of a song. That was not a long-ass pause. You guys are like a hive mind. Yorm drinks the Red Bull and it goes straight to Andy's brain. That is true. We did that a lot of meetings. Oh, we have Vecna.

By the way, that was the end of a pop star. Not to like get into the Pop Star episode that we haven't done yet, but like that was kind of what happened in the alternative ending of Pop Star. We hive-minded. all together. What was it?

Remind me. No recollection. It was, we fought that a giant bee comes back at the very end of Pop Star. And then we hide, we join bodies all together. Our spirit

become one. And then we fight this giant pea. Was that on the extras? That's on the DVD. It is. Yeah, that's there. It's fucking nice. We filmed it?

No, it was like the other bee beats where it was under black. Oh, under black, right. If the movie had been testing through the roof, the camera ran out of tape. Yeah, it was all. But we had fantasies that what if the third B beat, we did have the camera turn back on and be like Cloverfield style,

like, fan footage all of a sudden. But we're like insane being the effects, where all of a sudden you actually like it twists the, because the whole thing of that joke is you're seeing the words on the screen and hearing the sound effects, so anything can happen. So we had made it so outlandish. That would be so dope to see it for a second.

The audio was great, though, as I recall. Yeah. Seth. Yeah. Do we need to address the criterion picks? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's coming up. Okay.

We don't need any time. We don't need much time for Betty White. Yeah, this is on purpose a lot of notes this week. But yes, we're coming up on that. No spoilers on the Betty White short, but I don't like it. I'm so glad you said that, Keefe, because I was wondering if I was allowed to say, you fully texted the chain that it sucks. Well, it makes sense because you co-directed it with Chrysle, your arch nemesis.

No, hey, I, when we get into their picks, I think the curse does. deserve to go into Criterion. So there. Oh, wow. That's very nice. You heard it here first, guys. We're going to save some time of that. But when you, I mean, I will say, when you and Christel direct together, it's just like

jump it over the line, jumping back, jump it over. Fucking mess. This one sucks for a different reason. It just sucks. You don't like Betty White. That's fucked up. Because, like, you just can't write good things for Betty White. That's what you were saying in the text chain.

What? She just can't bring an idea to life is what you were saying. It's not like the writing was good. It's just what the fuck you're supposed to do. She's charmless. Not the case at all. That's what Keev thinks. She's a charmless lump that America doesn't care for.

We crushed the idea and then we got this fish on the deck. None of this is true. I don't even like the jokes. No, fish on the deck is a classic Keeve expression for bad actors. Exactly. It's not something I'm making us. Fish on the deck.

I feel like I bring up Yom falling off the ladder too much. So I felt a little bit, I don't know, vindicated when a minute into the last episode, or not the last one, when you guys did an episode without me. Yoram screeched and Andy said, is that the sound you made when you fell off the ladder? So it was like a minute in.

I feel like I bring it up too much. Hey, by the way, though, Andy, I do feel like when I'm not on the pot, you're a little bit nicer to everybody. Is that true? I think, like, when I'm here, I give you the permission to be a little, like, shitster.

Oh. Yeah. Or, like, he knows it's the way to make you laugh because you're just like a little bad boy. It might be that he knows I like little devil, Andy. I'm trying to impress you. He's a little devil. He's trying to move up in the ranks.

By the way, we haven't, like, Yorm can just walk. Yoram can just walk now, guys. Just talking about fun flatter. I can, but the last week I've been in crazy pain. You have to the hospital this morning because I was like, is something wrong? So it's not going to. I went to the gym, you guys, because I, and by the way, in terms of the Jeremy Allen White thing, I've changed it. So I looked up what Jeremy Allen White's dad looks like.

And I'm now going to try to look like him. That's great. That's pretty good. He's spelt and everything. You're trying to look like present-day Bruce Springsteen. I figured that age-wise is pretty Jack too. I know he's still in great shape. I knew as I was saying it it was wrong.

Anyway, I went to the gym on Monday. Are you going to try to look like Jeremy Allen wrong? That's really good. Maybe anything there? Hey, Andy, if I had been here, I do want you to know. I enjoyed the listener episode where you tried to make this work. The vicinitus of your tinnitus. It was close.

I knew it was close. It was close. Yeah. I laughed out loud. I don't even remember the context. I laughed out loud when you said to Yorm, you were on read it instead of read it. I was so bummed that I laughed at that. I'm still bummed about that.

Yeah. They did say Yorm, it's a full theater to eat on the pod. Oh, fuck. That's right. It is quite fast. So they were like, if you really want to get that Alvin energy going, don't bring a full meal. Well, that's what, oh, you said I got to fucking crack another Red Bull? Because I got some here, Seth.

Do not. Again, these are just comments. A bunch of people said that's rich. Andy's complaints about this burrito or rich coming from Andy Apple Crunch Sandberg. Come on. I did like how many times Yorm's defense for eating the burrito was I'm my father's son.

How little Andy cared for that defense. I did not like that. It's kind of a steal from Andy. My mother's curse is... Oh, I'm bad circulation. It's my mother's curse, yeah. These guys are always cold. I'm always hot and they're always cold.

You know, we get all sorts of things from our parents. My mother's curse. Wait, you say it's my mother's curse. Yeah, I go, could we turn the heat up? It's my mother's curse. I'm so sorry. Bad circulation. This is what it feels like to be in the studio with us.

Hey, going back to Yorne being Theodore, do you think we could get Lynn to do a version of Theodosia that's Theodorja from Hamilton? Yeah, I think so. It doesn't hurt to ask. You just asked, essentially. Yeah, I guess we just did. We'll see what comes back.

Dear Theodos. Theodosia. Why you always eating up on the mic. Getting the melody wrong, but you get the idea, Lynn. We were talking about Santa. One of the idea that I couldn't watch Gremlins with my kids because they would find out Santa isn't real.

Yeah. And because it's scary. I do want everybody to know. When you're married to Alexei Ash, like there's no mystery. Got it. Yeah. Why? How does that play out?

You're like, it's a boy. She's like, Santa's not real. Santa's not real. Here's how babies are made. here's videos, like just like everything. Why does she do that? That's sick. She just believes that there's, the world

is not a place for magic. Oh, wow. When my kids found out that Santa wasn't real, they literally argued back. They were like, no, he is because I saw this and this. And it was like one night I heard a thing on the roof. There's that mark in the chimney

and I was like, they're like, what are those? And I'm like, I can't prove that that wasn't Santa. So when you were saying you can't prove that he's not real, you were kind of being for real. You were being serious. Yeah, I don't think anything can actually ruin it because you can't prove he doesn't exist.

Trying to prove a negative isn't like, you know, that's always the... But of course, you could like prove, like, here are the receipts of the gifts that bought you. You can prove the gifts aren't from them. Okay. Yeah. So you can prove that you can't prove he's not real, but you can prove he hasn't done jack shit but just like come and drink the milk and take the cookies. Yeah, or and doesn't do any of that stuff.

You could be like, he might have been here, but he did nothing while he was here. Correct, correct. Yeah. Yeah. You can say the stories aren't real about what he does and stuff. But you can be like, he's a real guy. He's just a bad guy. We don't know.

Or you're a bad kid because he doesn't come here. I don't know. I have to pay for all this good. You're saying science can't prove that he's not responsible for the miracles of the world. Exactly. He might be. Have your kids ever laid out anything particularly weird for Santa? Like, because we drank alcohol, he made us leave like 30 different kinds of alcohol out for Santa.

like whiskey and all kinds of and then we had to, you know, we had to fucking drink them. I'm going to go ahead and say Red Bull is making you say a higher number than it was. No, Andy, it gives me wings. That's what it does. It doesn't do that.

You have 30 different kinds of alcohol in your house. Go, you are now. Okay. 30, go. Whiskey, rum, vodka, more vodka, other types of whiskey and tequila. I did it.

Okay. Okay. I stand corrected. I apologize. Great. Santa's real. Somebody wrote, every time Andy talks

about podcasts themselves, it always makes me feel like such an asshole for listening to podcasts. So good work, but. I always say no judgment. No judgment.

I just spend my time, my precious free time that I would have alone like in a car on a drive trying to catch up on new music. It's just a preference. Yeah, I think that's cool.

I think that's fucking cool. Oh, thanks. Some comments about ads because you guys talked a little bit about the ads. Oh, I definitely haven't made the many better at all. Somebody wrote, I think the frustrating part of the ads is you joking about how little

money you get from them. Yeah. Get in line, bud. We did turn off the ads that we are capable of turning off on the YouTube ones. Oh, good. Somebody did write that you can do that. And so I'm glad to hear. Yeah, we did it immediately after we recorded that one because they were doubling up on there, which did seem frustrating, I would imagine. All right. So thank you. Well, James, I hope you're listening because Akiva solved that or someone did. So, yeah, congrats. I was very excited to find out that gongs are also Scandinavian gnomes. That was cool.

That changes a lot for me. Also, someone wrote in the comments, Quaid Army helped me out. I must have zoned out at some point during an episode because I don't get these gunk references. I mean, it was pretty heavily kind of a bummer to come in so late. It was heavily referenced in one episode about geese, but I don't remember what it was.

So I think here's three T-shirts. I'm going to give you guys three T-shirt options. that have been suggested, and you tell me which one you want in our non-existent merch store. Okay. The first one is the front is a goose saying not a gunk,

and then on the back of the shirt, it's a Scandinavian dwarf with a voice bubble saying, yes, a gong. That's one option. Yeah, I mean, obviously that's good. Yeah, good. Genius.

Two burrito-brained to winter soldier. Shit. Ah! I'm listening. Yeah, MLD, M-LD, that one. Imagine like, well, give me something 10 times denser than quaid army, you'd like just kill. I think I would wear a t-shirt that said two burrito brain to winter soldier. That makes me very happy.

If it was nice and tasteful, maybe, just small. Yeah. Also, I think that, like, if anybody's like, what does that mean, your response has to be? What, exactly what is this? This one, by the way, you guys probably should have had the NBC store. I can't tell. You're either going to like it or hate it. Okay.

An S&L digital shirt. That, I do think that should have been, yeah. That should have been in the font perfectly, a black shirt with white writing at the NBC store. Yeah. At the height of, at the height of it.

I mean, it's really genuinely good. Yeah. We fucks with. We also, we also, if you watch, I think we probably mentioned this

in the Hot Rod episode, but when we did the censored version of Hot Rod, all the shits were shirts, too. So I feel like that also has a little crossover into our brains. Yeah. So that's a, Shout out to whoever came up with an Essendil Digital shirt.

And also to Burrito Brain to Winter Soldier. I mean, I think that's my favorite. That one just rings true. Yeah. Geese and Gonks also good, but perhaps the, I mean, the burrito brand of Winter Soldier, obviously, is for me. Yeah. Doesn't really get much better and convoluted than that. I still haven't designed a shirt, guys, and I feel like I should do that.

Maybe use the energy you just threw into your heart. The can of energy is pumped into your heart. What is in it, Torreene? Is that the one's called? I don't know, man. All of the good. shit. Akiva used to tell me like, oh, you get all that Torrine or whatever, right? I think it is Tori. Do you guys remember that Rob Shrob used to drink two Monster Energy drinks every morning? That's how

he got start of his day going. Two Monster Energy, like the big ones, though. That's crazy. This is a big one, though. This is a big one, yeah. Seth, you were pretty much a sugar-free Red Bull guy at S&O. Yeah, I was drinking two a day. Those would be on your desk. They gave me my own, they gave me my own little fridge. That's right. I had a Red Bull fridge. I think it's still in just office, honestly. Everything I had is still in Joe's office. He didn't clear anything out. He just put his shit on top of it. It is too. It's like a crust on top of it. All right, two quick comments from now again, guys, this isn't our fault. We obviously would have preferred just taken a week off and not having a new episode. It was the fucking holidays. We couldn't get together. And then Jeff, and Jeff has to

own this, was like, no, we'll just re-air the Shur and Jake Tapper criterion episode. Maybe we recorded a new top for it. People were fucking mad as shit. And look, we blew it. Obviously, the fact that we didn't miss any episodes when Yorne fell off a ladder makes it seem like... We're made of episodes. We're made of episodes. Are we entitled to take the holiday off like everybody else? The answer is no, Keev.

Dude, let me tell you something. One of the downsides started a podcast, like, Jeff won't let us take a week off. It's fucking squid game over here. Like, just, there's no breaks. And you guys are so mad. Sorry. No, he means the quades are. Oh, Jeff just had a very helpful comment.

He said, we had to run ads for you. guys not to make money on it. All right. Well, fair enough. Wonderful. Wonderful. But there was a really good, and Andy, I might need you to perform this. This was, I like when a couple of members of Quaid Army worked together in the comment section. Someone wrote, what's this? A rerun episode? Happy New Year to the ground. And then somebody wrote as if it was a lyric from that, If I wanted to hear it again, I'd go back and listen to it. Yeah, don't podcasts that usually do, like, so we dug this one out of the thing, aren't those behind like a paywall at this point?

So it's an actual, you know, like when certain podcasts only have like 12 for free and then the other back catalog is hidden away somewhere. They were pretty upset that we basically just threw a new episode number on the top of an existing episode they could listen to for free. Oh, we shouldn't have done that, should we? Well, it's done. Yeah. it already happened. But it was, but the pot, the episode already happened too. So yeah, it's not like, it's not a new app. No, but we put a number on it and everything. All right. Well, well, is that how that works? Did I say it right? It is. And, and, you know what we're going to do? We're going to add you to the text chain you're already on. So you can let us know about these things in the future. We love, we love your thoughts. That's fair news, as they say in Foggy London Town.

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company, not available in certain states. Prices is subject to underwriting and health questions. All right. So here, I mean, the one, everybody's pretty upset, myself included, and I feel like I should have stood up for it more. The curse is clearly criterion. Yeah. I mean, Keeves saying it is makes me think, like, let's just stop talking about it.

It is. Yeah. And there was a little, people thought there was a bit of music bias from Linen Quest. I don't think that was the case. I just think there were great songs over the course of the 36 that we went through. They connect to the songs the most. But also, all those songs would have made it. I don't think anybody was saying, like, those songs shouldn't be criterion.

It was just that this deserve to be as well. I thought they were, I mean, and I loved it, but I, I, I don't know if everyone would agree. I felt like they were kind of handing out Kim's video willy-nilly. Yeah. Yeah, I think that there might be too many in the Kim's video. Do you have the list right there? I don't know.

I thought that the one that I was surprised that they didn't give Kim's video was a tizzle-wizzle. I thought that one is... The date is definitely Kim's video. Agreed so. Yes. I think they undervalued the date. That's one of all of our favies. Yeah, I love that one.

They had Space Olympics extreme challenge. Everyone's a critic. Here's the ones that are on the Kim's video. that I would not have, Freddie. Yeah, okay. A couple of homies, no way. Yes, no ads. Virginia Horses Pony Express.

I, you know, those are really mostly my thing and I would be like, no. Yeah, that's like a separate section. I would take a bunch of these out. And I did a lot of animation on those. Megan's room, yeah, yeah, but I just mean, like, well, the first one. Megan's roommate, no, flags of the world, no.

Zach drops by the set, no, the other man, no. Extreme Challenge, no. honestly of all of these I would say everyone's a critic in space Olympics yeah and I would throw in the date which is yeah and I'd add the date yeah I would agree nobody likes tizzle whistle though eh I might not tizzle whistle I like tizzle whizzle but I don't think it's

I don't think it's Kim's video it's more that I just I had just showed tizzle whistle to my kid my older kid and he found it wildly raucously funny so yeah but again I like it I'm just saying Kim's video I think implies a certain amount of coolness and style. Yeah. Well, also, if Doogie didn't make Criterion, then I would put Doogie Hauser in Kim's video.

And I don't think I would have put it in Criterion either, just like the Quades. It was in Criterion, but I feel like it's not. I don't think it's criteria. It had an asterisk. I also don't think it's Kim's. But I loved how much they both loved it. Me too. Yeah.

I disagree. I think it should be criterion, just because it was so special and different. No. The other thing I will say is that Mike Schur had an idea. And we might have to get a voice now for him because I might explain. explain it badly. He goes, have you looked at the guy's AMD, he's got a lot of ideas, Seth.

It's very funny. He said there should be a new category called Laser Cats because we always get like tripped up during laser cats. Yeah, there's Criterion, Kim's, and then was it a Laser Cat or was it not a Laser Cat? And it's like, is it a Laser Cat? And it's like, yes.

And it goes into that category. It goes into there. He goes that just will just save time. So we don't have to talk about it anymore. We don't have to relitigate. There's Criterion, there's Kim's, and then there's Laser Cats. Most things won't make it, honestly. No. But it's laser cats with a K.

Got it. Which I think maybe was accidentally a typo. And then now he feels very strongly should be what we call it. The craziest thing is going to be when one of the laser cats doesn't get into laser cats. Yeah, right. It's almost like if it's too new. The thing that we're not thinking about with Criterion, that we don't have to think about the very end of this when Criterion approaches us for the actual box set.

Of course, yeah. Is the like, and we have them over a barrel. Yes. is like the watchability. Like there is a certain thing where if it's just song after song, it might get exhausting. And you'd want to be putting in these Kim videos just to tell a story.

Like when you're putting together, when Tim and Zach are putting together and I think you should leave episode, sometimes a really funny five-minute sketch becomes a three-minute sketch because it's killing the momentum to get you to the next sketch. Like there's a fair amount. Have some flows.

Yeah, there's a flow to it. And I think Doogie, although it is musical, would probably put a really nice calm thing before your next, like, bombastic, big, I'm in a boat. So I do think this Kim's video ones would all actually end up on the criterion to space out. But Keev, I just want to make an adjustment here. When we say criterion, we're not saying, like,

the way we would curate a criterion collection of all of it. It's saying, like, these are the ones that are considered the actual best ones that impacted the world in some way that rose above the rest. I agree and disagree with that, and I sort of agree with what Akiva is saying. It's like a museum exhibit where you choose the famous ones,

but then you also choose ones that show how they got there and weird, you know. But again, I wouldn't, I don't know, unless we're redefining what we're saying on this podcast criterion means, which we could. It's ours. We could do whatever we want. When we run out of shorts

and we start from the beginning, we can make it all museum-based. And it will be, is this the Louv, MoMA, or the Getty? Yes. We should also get someone from Criterion Collection to get on this pod and have them be like, why? I am curious how they select their DVD, like which movie they're going to do next. They must have a committee and have to like...

I think they're like, whoever says yes. I mean, whoever says yes. But it's also like this is specifically, we're talking about aired on SNL. Like, if we were doing all the stuff ever in that way, like, this is the first Jim Henson puppet. Like, you would have to put just two guys and stuff like that that we know is. we love and people like that like our stuff and be like this is the whole breadth of all of it Yeah, that's how I view it though.

The journey. Right, right. I'll be honest, I'm embarrassed for having talked about it this long. Yeah, we're gonna cut it out. I've enjoyed, you know what I've enjoyed is slowly watching Andy have like very strong opinions and get more and more embarrassed the longer.

Oh, he hates it. I just love how much he hates it. Now he's trying to pretend like he didn't have these strong feelings, but he did. No, I both have them and embarrassed. It can be both things. Hey, somebody, you mentioned everyone's a critic. Someone said, I just rewatched everyone's a critic again, and I noticed something new.

The auction was only for Paul's painting. No one ever saw Andy's painting. That's right, because Paul says this should be in a museum, or Andy says it should be a, you should sell this or whatever. That's interesting. Did we, but- Somebody wrote, I'd like to think it implies that even they both realized no one should see that one. Yes. Did we have a painting for you, Andy?

Because we were filming, we might have been like, what if we want to turn around and see an But I don't think we'd probably do. I think if we're talking about like logic flaw, it was that they were going to show the one I did after. You know what I mean? Oh, I see. And then all hell breaks loose and they don't get to it. We never get to it, right? But do you guys say you're going to sell both?

I think when you look at Paul's, you say something like, whoa, this is so good. This is actually good enough to, yeah. You could actually sell this or whatever. Got it. Did you like, I enjoyed Quest observation that Shireani is better with the audience. Yeah, that's true. Yes. I thought that was a really good comment.

Yeah. Quest was fucking on point. Can we just say, can we have a special thank you to having those two share their time? Oh my God. Yes, we can on three. One, two, three.

Thank you guys. You guys did it? I did it. And I also thank you that he defended Daughery girl. Yeah. And I loved Lynn comparing the doogie. He was like trying to explain it to Gen Z

and that his choice was Addison Ray Diet Pepsi. Anything else, honestly. Being re-sung with a tear in his eye. And honestly, the way he described it, I was like, Wow. That would be powerful in 20 years. She's at, like, Coachella as, like, a legacy act, and she's, like, got that tear, and she's doing it all slow.

It's a time capsule, bro. It's going to be meaningful. I didn't think it was quite fair to rip on Jairani as much as it got ripped on. But, like, but I really appreciated that they love Saxman. And that the roots say Saxman jokes to each other. That was incredible. That's so good. That's fucking thrilling to me.

To think of them on a mic just within the band calling out somebody as a saxman. We were texting about it. Like, Lynn, having gone to their shows, like, we're the exact same. I'm sure we've talked about it before. But between me, Kiv and Yorne, we've probably been to, like, 50 Root shows. Like, you just, it was what we did. We were so into them. I've seen them more than any band ever.

Anytime they were in the Bay Area, we would go see them. Thinking about them talking, as a band talking about anything we had done, is so mind-blowing and amazing. truly. What's up? So Lynn has two kids. They're wonderful. I actually got to spend a whole day riding roller coasters

with these kids and one of my daughters at Universal Studios with Lynn. It was wonderful. But I don't need their opinion on Ross Trent, of all things.

They're quite young. They're not going to get it. He was like, I don't know. What about their opinion on like a butter beer in Harry Potter? Yeah, that's great.

It can't be on the table for costing Ross Trent its place on criteria. He was ready. Lynn was ready. Go re-listen to tape. He's ready to throw it and throw it away over to Kim's video because of his son. Yeah, true. But I'm positive. Just ultimately like, I love hearing what your kids think about them, but it's not, you know, these are not, uh, not moving the needle. Not moving the needle. To me, it, like, it can become kin, can, maybe I have a warped sense of what Kim's video is, but to me, if it strikes a different chord or it has a different slight vibe to it. To me, it, like, it can become, can, I have a warped sense of what Kim's video is, but to me, if it strikes a different chord or it has a different slight vibe to it. it that we haven't done before, which Tiswizzle does to me. And that's the reason why I would put it in. Yeah, like even Cherry Battle, in terms of things I'm proud of, I would be like, oh, that should go in there on this Blu-ray.

And it comes with the Blu-Rae player. I could Cherry Battle Kim's, FYI. Yeah. I don't remember on the episode, did it just get shot down right away? Kind of, yeah. And what about by the quads? I never saw the results of the voting. I think it kind of like didn't generate much.

Fuck, that's so fucking uncool. I'm just going to read a couple more comments real quick. I know it's far too late for anyone to notice, but I had to get in here to say that I teach martial arts, and I have absolutely played karate guy in the school while we're doing drills. Yes. The Kia.

That's killer. The Kia and karate guy has a little bit of Shireani. Kiyah? Yeah. A little bit of Boil Goose. It's definitely the same guy who Vogue. can do boiled goose. There was a fair amount of talk about the sexy saxman videos,

the guy that would play a careless whisper. And I don't, I wasn't there when you guys did the curse, so I can't speak to if it inspired it. And I also don't know, I saw there were people saying that it actually came out before that the curse was first, sexy saxman was second, or vice versa. I don't know the answer to any of that. But what I do want to say is that Mike Diva is who made those. Yes.

The homie. And you tell it, you reminded me that reminded me that when we. met him, he at some point told us about those and we had not seen them. But also he was psyched about the crossover and we obviously have worked with Mike Diva a lot and got him his job at S&L. And so I think he's fine with him. We helped him get his job. His talent got him his job.

Oh. Nope. Oh, look at this. Oh, you like grease some palms? Yeah. Wait, Seth, you skipped it. You're the coin thing that they gave you. How did the guy, the guy.

Oh, did he grease your palm with it? It was kind of like a palm. He kind of, he palm greased me. He gave it to you in a handshake. Yeah. What are those coins called again? Challenge coins. Challenge coins.

I think that was a Kuwait Army reference, him giving it to that way. Yeah. He knew what he was doing. Do you, in the Army, do you get them for, do you get them for, like, merit things? Like, if it's something you do. I think you get him for serving in a unit. And then you, it's like, I believe it's something. Well, I got one somebody, they're really the best weight of any coin I've ever held.

It's so nice to hold them. All right. So I'm just reading this. real quick from the internet, but the coin challenge, member challenges others by loudly proclaiming a coin check, placing the coin on the surface. Everyone present must produce their own coin.

Anyone who fails to produce their coin must buy a round of drinks for those who did. So people just have to have them all the time? And if everybody can put a coin on the table, the challenger has to buy around. And they are custom design medallions that symbolize membership, honor, and achievement within a specific group.

Fuck, we all need them. They're very cool. And Yorm is right. the weight of them is incredible. Somebody said that they had a, there's a wide receiver for the Detroit Lions name, Amon Ross, St. Brown. And they wanted us to know they won their fantasy football championship with the team name, Amon a Boat.

Yeah, that's awesome. Nice. Yeah. Somebody said this weekend podcast crossovers, I wasn't expected. Nathan Fillion mentioned on his new podcast that he considered himself to have the softest hands on Hollywood until he shook Andy's hands.

I remember that. Wow. You were smiling before I even got you knew where this was going. What was crazy is I had met him a bunch of times before that. I think he was in our Emmy video and then he was on Brooklyn 9-9. And then I saw him a while later after both those. And we like gave each other a high five like, what's up? And I was like, ooh.

And he went, oh. I was like, your hands are so soft. And he's like, yours are so soft. And he goes, never worked a day of my life. And I'm like, that's what I always say when people say my hands are soft. And he's like, you're kidding. It was very wonderful.

He has very soft hands. That's a real, that's a real Hollywood challenge. Yeah, we use the same self-deprecating joke about how we've never worked a day in our life and that's why our hands are so soft. That's actors, instead of challenge coins, actors have uncalished hands. Yes, but my voice box is calloused, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is hard, yeah. And my brainy. All right, we're going to, I mean, we're going to blast through the short here. So I'll just say very quickly. I know. We're going to go very quickly.

I just want to say this is one of the most iconic episodes. This is the only time the Internet kind of willed this to happen. That's right. There was a bit of a campaign to get Betty White to host. I would say that if you had told me in my time there, that the Internet would get behind a host, would that ever move the needle for Lauren Michaels? I would have my doubts. And yet, I think he realized this would be a cool thing to do.

He never did it again. You know, it didn't become a thing where he let the host get crowdsourced, but it was Betty White, and it was J-Z, and it was really cool. And she was how old, do you remember? I can't remember, but she was in her 80s, though. She was sharp as attack. She was wonderful. She still, like, snacked on a hot dog and a Snickers bar. She had a hot dog and vodka at the afterprice.

Oh, and vodka. That's like Shake Shack and a Red Bull. Yeah. It was Mother's Day. Lauren brought back Amy and Tina and Maya and Anna and Molly. Right. I remember Rob Klein had just come back from a wedding in India, and he just, he literally looked at who was coming back,

did a little headcount, and he was like, I think I'm just going to go lie down on on this couch. I don't think. Too many heavy hitters? He was so beat up and like definitely feeling a little, she would have been 88 years old. Yeah, I got over here. But he's like, I think we're good.

And he was totally right. Oh, yeah. I remember having no show that week. Yeah. being fine, just sitting back and watching and being so happy watching. There is a Magroober. Oh yeah, we did a really fun, fun McGruber with her. I mean, she was a joy.

I can picture her on that Magroo. You're welcome. Okay, let's see what we got here. You know, he used to finger paint on the walls with his little poopies. Nana, now is not the time. We called him Pupcastle. She doesn't want to say.

He breastfed until he was 12 years old. Okay, can we focus, please? He had his first kiss when he was 16. How is Barry, by the way? No, no, I'm asking very nice. Please, thank you. Stop. Did you know when he was born?

They thought he was a girl? For two whole months, because they couldn't find his wee. It's called micro penis. Shut the hell off, you old. Actually, in the McGruber, there was a piece of audio that she did where she's going back and forth on this little jazzy scooter to get items from McGruber. And she's like treating McGurber like he's a little child and talking about his little nappies and embarrassing stories and whatnot until McGurber freaks out on her.

But at one point, she's going back and forth on this little jazzy scooter and she's going, beep, beep, beep, I'm too old to drive. And it was my favorite piece of audio. I tried to make it my cell phone answering like when the ring goes off. Fucking loved her. Absolutely love her. We've talked about it one of the most. The last two sketches of the night were unicorn, the Michael Brian classic.

That she never liked because it was about a dead unicorn and she was an animal rights advocate. And Michael Brian to this day is really. really mad because unicorns aren't really. They're not really, yeah. And then, like, for three, I mean, I'm not for three, forever. Did it ever air unicorn? Because I see it was cut. No, it's never aired.

Never aired. But O'Brien, like, just kind of maintained for years that she tanked his sketch and that he was not a fan. The nicest, most professional person in the history of entertainment. And just, like, I mean, it was nothing was more fun than listening to O'Brien go off about Betty White. The last sketch of the night was a scared straight, last sketched dress and halfway through Unicorn, Lauren was like, we're good,

I'm gonna go up to my, because it was a really long dress. So he went up to his office, everybody followed, myself included. And scared straight started. And again, it was like her crushing so hard with Keenan that the audience was like, the studio was like shaking with laughter.

And I was like a scene from like Studio 60 where I said to Lauren, um, I think you might, want to take a look at this. You told us this when we were talking about balcony songs because you did not do that for balcony songs. I should have, but yeah, so that was

in this show. That's Wizard of Oz. No, you do not enter what one of gambling stories. I should keep that up, and you will be playing Twister on the floor of the prison's bathroom. Yeah, that's right.

And it won't be no lion, a tin man, and a scarecrime. it'll be you lying down while ten men make you a scared hole Don't look behind the show of partner you'll meet the wonderful wizard of ass All right so then you guys have a short I'm going to say two things

Two shorts that we've talked about That it has a little bit of I think both serve as maybe a little bit of a detriment Has a little bit of Doogiehouser Has a little bit of tizzle whizzle Yep and much worse of both So against it Yeah not it is not a ground breaker either

No I want to say say, I do like that before the turn, everybody does a very good job of selling that it's sort of saccharine and sweet. You're just going to lean in. Yeah. That's a very nice. Like, Andy in particular, like, you have a great, like, you're acting of like, this was all this was going to be.

You sell the shit out of it. Thanks. I was ready to like it because I remembered, oh, and there's a turn. And so I was watching the imagined video of it, right? of a bunch of celebrities singing a song where you're like, I hate this, but it's also good, but it's also I hate this. This is a comedy show. But I, in back in my mind, we're watching earlier like,

but it has a turn. It's going to be fine. And then the turn was so limp to me. I was just like, it's a softball. It's also strange because, especially when you look at the show, it is that case where, like, you didn't really need it for content, but you probably did need it for transition. And it was only 90 seconds, and it had the whole cast. and there was something a little bit sweet about it.

If it's only 90 seconds, does that even get Lauren his transition? I thought it was like 1.45 that he needed or something. Well, ultimately, at the air, it just goes to commercial after, but maybe he just filled it out the right way. What was the number, though, that Lauren always wanted shorts to be because it allowed them to change sets? It was about 130, but it was. I think it was 150 that he was.

He was always so mad when we turned anything. Less than 150. This might be an unpopular opinion, but I think it's criterion. Okay. Ooh. Now we're getting somewhere. Being afraid Oh, that's sweet.

Oh, that was just lovely. But I think I prefer my version. Come. Done some laughs. What are they saying? Mother Fri. Yeah, that was fine, guys. It's fine.

What are you so mad about, Keeve? Nothing wrong at that. That's fine. I mean, you know. It was very hard to sit through the earnest part. That's what I'll say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fine.

Well, it was fun to see. The gang. I was just trying to, you know, get some something spicy on here. It's fine. The clicks. Stem clicks. Yeah, it was fine. She said motherfucker.

Did you hear that at the end? She said motherfuckers. And you know what? Listening on headphones, the audience liked when she was doing flips and stuff more than I could hear when I watched earlier on my phone. I also liked that it's full cast as well as everybody who was invited back and still no room for SETI. You were busy. Why weren't you in it? I don't know.

It's a good question for the director. You probably were like, leave me out of this trash. Maybe it's because of the sound of your singing voice is like nails on a fucking chalkboard, bitch. By the way, that's probably the best. It can't be worse than Bill. That's probably the best, too. Can't be worse than Bill. But Bill sounded fun.

Bill covers it up pretty well. Yeah, he did good. I was surprised at how bad Fred singing was. I didn't like Fred singing. Fred singing was awkward and weird, yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah. We'll cut all this.

Jack Black. Betty White looked like shit. We'll cut all this. Jack Black, sing us in. Spelling D. Andy, what do you got? Not only did I quibby clean, Seth. And you know what I'm about to say.

I almost got it squeaky clean, as they say. Which is to say I didn't even have to look at a single thing until I was one word away. And I think I even still would have got it, but I just had to start going on sleeping because I did it. 12 a.m. and it took me 15 total. Can we call that a queen, a queen squeak?

A queen squeak. Yeah. That's when you get it with no help. The thing I love about starting it at 1201, yes, what I did, is that then I can look at the timestamp of when I text Seth, I queen beat, I know exactly how long it took me. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I believe it was either 14 or 15 minutes.

That's really fast. That's very good. And by the way, everyone I got word 114. Oh, great. Andy, I have a few quick spelling me things to say, and then we're going to wrap this up. Okay, my man. How happy are you when Avatar is in Spelling Me, which it was this week? Very.

Yeah, okay, great. There's sometimes a little bit of, I don't know, sometimes the bee has a bit of a filthy mouth. And we were talking about both Gigolo. These aren't filthy, but Gigolo and Dildo are words that are in the bee all the time. Yeah. And we're not, we don't, weirdly, even though ours are comedy words, we don't get them right away. They're both hard to get. I also, for some reason, often takes me a while to get Avatar.

Yeah. Just coincidence. But, yeah, Gigolo and Dildo, well, some days you forget ones that you know are just sitting right in front of you. And then other days they're like, yeah, there's Beobab. Doesn't the word Dildo seem like it's short for something? Like, it feels like it's like a slang. It's short for Dildonicus. Oh, yeah.

Thank you. I knew that was something. He was that, he was from Greek mythology. He had a big old. Yeah. He got it cut off. He got it cut off and then this island of the... So they're like, oh, my Dildonicus.

The sapphic... You know the story. I don't have to tell the story of Dildonik. And the guy's like, face me, Dildonikas. Oh, no, don't face me. They reference it heavily in Wonder Woman, the new Wonder Woman. It's like a reverse Medusa. If you look at it, it turns to stone.

Thank you. And then it's even better. When you say turns to stone, you mean it turns into a big old boner? Yeah. Vibrator was the pangram this week as well. It was. So it was kind of a, it was a real, it was a real saucy week. Oh, wait, there was, there was a naked gun in the mini at some point during Christmas break.

There was. There was. So we texted about, you know, I think that counts as another shot across the bow. Yeah, they're talking to us. The bee is talking to us. Kill yourself. Let's just say they're talking to us. And speaking of vibrators, your arm, you like putting those in your butt, right?

Andy, don't kink shame me. I like what I like. I'm not shaming. I'm just making... I think we talked about Dildo for a long time, but you had to wait till vibrators came up. I'm making casual and interesting conversation. Me like sweat,

me like. Gotta get them clicks. Gotta get them clicks. There's a thing that happens with Andy where he gets real tired, but then when he knows it's almost over, he gets this late pot energy. He's so happy it's almost over.

He becomes really good at it. Here's the thing. I got so many enemas when I was in the hospital that I fucking like what I like now. You know what I? That's what's up. Oh, it changed your proclivities. This town is an enema, bat dance.

It changed my mind about a lot of things. You know what they say? Sometimes you got to just get something shoved up your butt to know you like how it feels. This has been the Lonely Island podcast. I love you guys. Love you, Seth. Let me too. Let me too.

Let me too. Wait. Did you say this whole town needs an enema bat dance? Yeah. Okay, good.