The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - I Broke My Arm

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

On this episode of The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast we have a Quado - not a Quaido, he's with Kiv's wife. Today we're talking about I Broke My Arm from Season 36, Episode 4 on October 23rd 2010 with host Emma Stone. The guys also tell us how nice their hotel rooms are, relitigate Boogerman, and revisit some great sketches including Googie Rene, Jimmy McMillan on Weekend Update, and the cut from dress sketch Griff Banks the Sensitive Bully and its eventual revival on Second Chance Theater. We look forward to the qump bumb and please go bump the qump on Boogerman. But for the love of God don't give us crum bum qump bumb! We got nominated for a Webby! Vote now! https://wbby.co/57408N Go see Over Your Dead Body on April 24th | Trailer Check out Chip-n-Dale Rescue Rangers on Disney+ Watch Digman! | Trailer Download the apps app and go get Netflix or go here: https://www.netflix.com/ Check out www.iwantstraunts.com (not spelled wrong!) Check out The Godfather Part II! I Broke My Arm Easy A Trailer Wells For  Boys The Actress Technology Hump: Emma Stone We Don’t Need No Stinking Badgers! Badges? Trolls | True Colors Cyndi Lauper - True Colors Weekend Update: Jimmy McMillan on Running for President Googie Rene's Partially Damaged Halloween Costume Discount Basement Second Chance Theatre: Griff Banks the Sensitive Bully Boogerman (give us that qump bum bump!) Send us an email: [e-mail] Send us a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/thelonelyisland Send us stuff: P.O. Box 4024 New York, NY 10185 Photos and everything else can be found by following us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod (Not all the clips we mention are available online; some never even aired.) If you want to see more photos and clips follow us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod. Send us an email! [e-mail] AG1Go to https://DRINKAG1.com/ISLAND to get an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2 for FREE in your AG1 Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order! That's a $72 value, yours free, only while supplies last.HomeChefFor a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners FIFTY PERCENT OFF and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to https://HomeChef.com/island. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert.BombasHead over to https://Bombas.com/island and use code island for 20% off your first purchase. ArticleThanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/discount/island and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, very honored. We're nominated for a Webby Award. What's the category? It is Best Co-hosts. Here's who we're up against. Smartless. No. Boo!

Sibling rivalry, which is Bob the Drag Queen, who's been on my show. Very funny. That one's fucking great. Monet Exchange. Sorry, I want to make sure I get that right. The Pivot, the Pivot podcast. Oh, that one's also great. New Heights with Travis and Jason Kelsey.

That's even better. We're fucked. We might be fucked. We might be fucked. How do they decide the winner? Is it voters, or is it? It's voters. It's voters. Like Quades could go in there and quump the bump.

Yeah. Oh, great. Dave, you're really leading witness here. Well, then, yeah. So Quaid's, you mean Quades could just go there now and go for it? Yeah. Oh, Jeff's saying he'll put the link in the show notes, but go and make sure we win because there's a huge cash prize. You all get Ferraris.

All right. Now that we've established that. Take it away. Opening credits. The Lonely Island. It's a sports podcast. Hey, everybody, welcome to the Lonely Island and Seth Myers podcast. And this is a first.

I believe all four of us, which really reflects how much we care about this podcast, are coming to you from hotel rooms. Yeah, every single one of us. Every single one of us has got some travel gear. This will reflect badly on the fact that I will still have the worst sound and now have no excuse at all. You've had no excuse for the last three sessions now. We all brought our mics. Embarrassing.

It's the same excuse. It wasn't like I was going to fly home and get it. I'm still in the same place I was last week. All I brought was this. I know. You keep saying that. I heard you. I still can't go home.

Well, Andy, you have a wall art behind you that we've seen now multiple times. Yeah. Which is just peak depressing hotel art. He's in a home. I'm in a rental home, so it's even more insulting. Oh, no. Well, then it's great art. Oh, yeah. I mean, I love it. I love it.

What if I was like, this is my house, Seth? Well, because I was safe first. They say we're in hotels. Of course, it's hard to tell if you're even listening. I'm not. I'm doing strands. Oh, you're doing strands. Oh, good. Tell us that you do. You know what? I think the other thing, I like when you also talk about what ostensibly you're supposed to love, which is New York Times games.

And they also seem to bum me out as much as this podcast. I think people are just finding out the hard way that you're just a malcontent. I guess I'm just wondering why they didn't accept girls. Gurgly. Wait, that is weird. The word gurgly is a word. I was pretty shocked about gurgly as well. Like, what the fucking Sam fuck?

My stomach feels a little gurgly. I got burglary and then Miss Burglar, so, you know, I'm not having the best day. Oh, wow. That's embarrassing. Hey, I have a bunch of new slang for the pod, which is really nice that our listeners provide us with slang. When all four of us are on the pod, it's called a quado, but spelled with a D, not a T. Yeah, because the quad is in effect. Yeah, so this is officially a quado.

Oh, sweet. But not that kind of quado. Not quato from total recall. It's like, oh, four. Yeah, it's almost a quato. The new term. What's you cooking, quato? You got that mac and cheese cooking, baby?

My wife just met with quito, the real quato. So what's up, Quato? Yeah. What's up, Quato? She said that he was great. My wife is also successful. My wife's been meeting with quato all the time, but they don't have any business together. I don't know if they're not.

Oh, interesting. They're just liaising. Just talking about meals that they cook probably. Tagwood. So your wife and Quedo are both successful people, but you're saying that has nothing to do. Their success has nothing to do with the meeting. No, they have no business together. I can't figure it out, but they keep going out to dinner.

It's probably fine. And you say, and you say is it about business? And she just says, she delivers it exactly like that. She says, we have no business together. And then just closes the door. Right. And he swings by and he's like, hey, man, thanks for being so. cool about all this.

You're like, what about all what? Thanks for still shouting me out on the pod, you know, all things considered. I like mac and cheese. She's coming home with like mac and cheese stains on her shirt. Like just for pan splatter. Pants splatter. Mac and cheese powder. I don't know what's happening.

Let's just say he left it on a bit too long because other things came about. Keyes in the laundry room like mac and cheese powder? How did this get in her pocket? Again. I keep finding it in her clothes. Slowly raising it to sniff. Then, yeah, that's mac and cheese powder. There's no doubt about it.

This is Kraft. Quedo. So he tasted like a gecko would. Like, that seemed like a real lizard lick. Oh, full on lizard lick, yeah. Yeah. That's the only way you can know for sure that it's Kraft mac and cheese powder. We're not sponsored by them.

Not yet. Podcast. So a couple updates. Jeff interrupted a hot bit to fucking do technical shit. And in the meantime, Seth pounded a whole beer. No, but it's a, it's a nab. Oh. I'm doing vacation.

I'm nabing on vacation. You nab in it? I'm nabing it. That's a perfect strands. Oh, you got out of sand. Oh, yeah, perfect strands. Spangram first. I'm hoping to go to a perfect stront in like two hours.

Ooh, a perfect. How do you know it's perfect? Andy, have you heard that we bought the domain? name I Want Straunts? You did not. We did. You can go to it right now. It redirects to late night with Seth Myers as of now, but we're going to just start listing all the restaurants that we mentioned on the bud. Why doesn't

it redirect to Digman on Netflix? Oh, well, because we assumed you'd redirect us there? I mean... Speaking of, have you had to... Have you had to Quulp? A quulp in case you're wondering is another portmanteau that's been pitched by

the Quaid Army. A quulp is when you have to gulp a member of the Quaid Army. because they've watched it. Oh, so it's like a quump, but it involves the gulps. Yeah, it's a quade gulp. It's a quade gulp that results in a quump. Right.

Unless they're being dishonest, but I would never know because I'm taking them all at their word. Yeah. But yeah, I've gulped several quades out on the street. Oh, you have. So it's immediately. But I get the jokes on them, Seth,

because I was doing that before. You know what I mean? Oh, I don't have the jokes on them. Good joke. And it's like, I'm getting paid to do my pastime. Thanks. By the way, for over your dead body, I'll quote a bunch of quads. Bro, stay in your lane.

Oh, sorry. Somebody said, looking forward, when Yoram's movie comes out, looking forward to variety headline, Quaid Army quumps dead body to Bafo box office. I would like reading that. Yeah, I hope so. Good luck to all of us. Oh, this is bad. Somebody wrote in that it turns out the lyrics to the Beelen Brothers song

was their winter soldier code work. Oh, no. It's in their bunch. They got activated like a hundred times. Oh, hey, Yoram. I missed it. And I feel like Keev missed it, too. But in the re-listen, I heard it. What? You said at one point that you're firing on all cylinder. Oh, oh.

Yeah, that was funny, right? Yeah, yeah, I like that. Thanks. That's a good Yormism for me. Thank you, Seth. Just for the listeners, when we're on Zoom, you know, Zoom sometimes chooses who you can hear and who you can't if everybody talks over each other. So that's why sometimes we just... Nope.

Yeah. Sometimes we just don't hear each other. No cross talk. Keev, two people wrote in with a similar comment, I'm falling in love with Akiva's new catchphrase. That short didn't suck as much as I thought it did. Oh, we might get to say that again today. How wonderful.

Yeah, the other one, similar sentiment. Akeva before every short. All right, let's begin this garbage dog shit short afterwards. I really enjoyed that. That's fair. Yeah, he takes you on a journey. It's a lot like what it's like working with them, honestly. But that, I mean, don't you feel like that's been one of the secret bonuses of this endeavor so far, Keefe,

is you finding out that the ones that you were feeling shame about are better than you thought? Yeah, I feel like there's a lesson to be learned, but I'm not sure what it is yet. That's part of the journey here. Maybe you're too hard on yourself. Yeah, that's Kiva's arc. Have you heard about, I'm going to just fully assume you haven't listened, Andy, only because you're busy. I know you love us, but there's a pitch for a new Alf show that you star in. Have you heard about it?

No, but I'm all ears. You land on Melmac, and so you're the Alf. You, like, live with a family of Al. Me as myself? Yeah. Okay. But, like, you're the Alth. You're the only human.

Yeah. That lives now with a family of Alps. We were calling it Half, like, Human Alien Life. Human, Alien Life. Half is going to be fun because then, of course, everybody's going to think it's called half. And we're going to be like, no, no, no. It's half.

It's health. Yeah. Makes so much sense for us. It'll have periods between each letter. No, it's not called half? Why? would it be called half? Could the title of the show be

Halph, parenthetical, pronounced? I think rhymes with Elf. Perenthetical rhymes with Elf. Alph. Al rhymes with Al. I was pitching not alf, that they keep calling you not alf. Yeah, that's made it better.

Oh, yeah, that's a, okay, great. That's a nice picture from the subreddit that Jeff just gave us. It's an entire family of Alps. They even made. Oh, yeah, look at the picture. Yeah. One has long hair.

Oh, wow. And so, so, sorry, can I ask some follow-up questions? Yeah, of course. That's a really nice Nalth poster, guys. We have a Nalph poster, not a Nalph poser. That's somebody claims they came up with this idea. Oh, that's really good. Nalf.

Nalfe poster will be in the showhouse. So sorry. Am I playing myself or am I a character? How do you want to do it? We're the producers, so what do you want? We need to get you to sign on. Well, what do you guys think? What do you want to watch?

I think you should play the dad character. Like, you're a stick in the mud and all the alfs are like, you know, so you're playing against type. Yeah, all the alfs. are Alf-like, they're all, as somebody on here said, like laissez-faire kind of, like, drinking beer. And you're the one... They're loose with the rules.

You're the center of the TV show, but you're like ironing and doing dishes, and you're like, well, nobody in this Alf family puts away any dishes. So I'm kind of like Bateman on arrested. Yes. Yeah, you're totally frustrated. Yeah. Frustrated by how crazy all the Alps are.

Can the mom be called Malf? The dad could be Dalf. Right? It's like Mom Alf, Dad Al. We went through this, Yorn last. week. They don't consider themselves alfs because they're... Yeah, they just have normal names like Gordon. Oh, right. So their names are like Sydney and Kyle. They're not aliens to themselves. And also their pets on their planet are burritos. Okay. So that they constantly have to tell you not

to eat the burrito? I can roll with that, yeah. Are they eating cats for every meal and their pets are burritos? Yeah. Okay, I see. We assume. A lot of cat meat. Yeah. No, you think they eat cat for every meal, or is that like having a filet mignon every meal? Right. It feels like that's like lobster. Yeah, you would. Yeah, I don't. Right.

It's like it's, it's Dalf's birthday. Time for a roast cat. Yeah. Maybe that you ended up there because it turns out that Melmakians have been like using a secret like ray to steal cats. And they like, they zip you up one day in one of their cat halls. Okay.

And so. I don't know. No, I like everything you're saying is in the show. This is good. You've just got my mind racing right now. Just thinking of a hundred possibilities. I've one more question. Yeah.

Do I talk like Alf or do they all talk like Al, and I talk like this? I think you talk like this. I think you talk like the dad from Alf, the original Alf. Yoram, that's a tall order. Yeah. You love doing that voice. I know, but like as soon as I do it, everyone's going to be like, this guy's smoking. Oh, no.

We cut that out. We cut that out. We did. Guys, look, I'll just say something because I feel like we don't have to cut this out. We talked a little bit. At post-Alf, the actor Max Wright had a trickier time. And then we felt we made some edits. We made a couple edits.

And I... A trickier time. He did have a tricky time. And again. Yes. Trickier time. And we can bleep this, but the trickier time entailed smoking... Having like...

In a... But let's just... Let's just bleep... Because that... I mean, I think there probably will be many bleeps. When we... Just split every other word is a bit. Smoking bleep in a bleep house.

Could we just say, like, Google the dad for mouth? Did we leave even that amount? I don't know, but look, we could... This is a standing order to Google the dad from out. And then we did go on an extended run about the reporter and what the reporter did to get the pictures, the photographer. Yeah. Deep dive, deep dive. And how he was, like, for a reporter like that, it was a pretty big...

It was a pretty big scoop, I guess you said. Yeah. And we sort of maybe reimagined what that convo was like when that reporter brought in the picks and was like, guess what I got? Yeah, go ahead. Do it. There's a lot of him bursting into the newsroom saying, I had to, Gary. And again, we can bleep, but he can be like, so to get these pictures, I said a lot of shit. Why are we recounting the thing we all?

Because Keith, we can put it in now because everybody knows we cut it. So it's fine. Yeah. So we were cool. Right? Yes, they know we've made the sacrifice, Keith. Okay, great. That's what it takes.

So now it's fine. Because we're not saying it now. Right now we're talking about something that was not said. So it's fine because we're not talking about now. We're talking about something other people said earlier. Exactly. That wasn't us. That was us in the past.

Right. You get it. Wait, Andy Goh, what were you about to say? Just that the photographer, the photojournalist was probably like, you know, in order for me to gain everyone's trust, I had to do it all. So, like, these photos you're looking at, you don't even want to know what I was doing while I took these.

The rest of you are almost not reporters compared to what I... But I'll give you a hint. It was smoking, while being being... We got to bleep all that. We got to bleep all of that. Because I don't want that out there. Just beeps.

I had to, Gary. Gary! You could just not say it. It's fine. You want the scoep or not, Gary? Do you want the best story that's ever been in a newspaper or don't you? Wait, this is a...

a story that I'm just gonna read and we can decide what we think. Okay. This is from a quade. Alf was a notoriously unhappy, unfun set. The actors were actually relieved when the show was canceled.

To make 20 minutes of Alf took like 20 hours, namely due to the complications of working with a puppet. Right. The actors, especially Max Wright, as the dad, were visibly not amused by the improvisation

and tasteless jokes of Paul Alf Fusco. Supposedly on the last day of filming, Max Wright left the studio after rapping his last scene without even saying goodbye to his co-workers. Andrea Elson, who played the daughter, vowed never to act again after working on the show. Each scene required take after take, which led to some truly bizarre line reads by Max Wright.

Notice that when NBC did the Project Alf TV movie, only Alf, was the only returnee. So what you're saying is, the show is what led to the behavior. Yeah, I think that. Drove him into the arms of the, you know. I'll do you one more. Excellent movie, based on his own autobiography.

Permanent Midnight. Do you remember the movie Permanent Midnight? Ben Stiller, or he plays a TV writer. Yeah, I never saw it, but I remember it existing. Yeah. It's about a television writer and his addiction and recovery. That writer in real life wrote on Alf. Yeah.

True story. There's like nods to an Alf-like show in the movie, correct? Or am I misremembering? I believe there is, yeah. It was kind of the original adaptation, if you will. Yeah. Oh, my God. There you go.

It had to be so awful to work on to bring everybody to that. This is at, like, when there were still four channels, and this was a prime time show that was a massive, not just a massive hit, but it was like changing the culture and was on the cover of like Time Magazine and stuff. Alf is still something we talk about. That's how toxic and poisonous this workplace was. Well, here's the thing.

Andy, because I want to see you act again, now I don't know if you should do this show. You know what I mean? Oh, because you don't want it to send me into a spiral. Yeah. I mean, half or an elf. Imagine being the only human surrounded by Alfs. That's crazy.

Yeah. Well, our big takeaway, Andy, is that we, We produce it, you starring it, and you're even angrier than getting talked into this podcast because you're working with like seven puppets a day. And we're all just like, hey, we're heading out. And you're like, oh, what? I got to do the omelette scene again. There might be a good movie to be made for real that shot a little bit doc style like the wrestler. But it's about Andy as an actor getting cast in an all-alph sitcom.

Right. And so it's just like showing the behind the scenes of this happening. Yeah, that sounds fun to watch and not to make. I think a lot of things about this are good. Any other cool slang words that have been made up, Seth? Yeah, what do you call? There's obviously the alfoff between ham and Sandberg. What do you call a feud between a ham and Sandberg?

Obviously, it's a hamburger. Right, yeah, yeah. That's correct. Although somebody else said, you can't have beef with John Hamm. You have pork. Too shay. I would love to shame that person, but we've established I've done pretty deep on the ham buns.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've dipped a toe. Here's just a few more. I want my ringtone to be Akiva's sad. I guess so. When Seth says, should we do push-ups? It was sad. Oh, was that really depressing when you said it?

It's how I felt, so I'm glad my voice. Wait, did you guys do more push-ups? I just did push-ups before we got on this. I did 50 push-ups. So I'm rare and go. Oh, boy. They both did push-ups at the end of the last episode, and I was like, this is bad radio.

Do you remember the B.L.N. Brothers, Andy? I sent a bottle of sparkling apple juice. Okay, so somebody else. Did you get it? We watched dress and air last week. Oh, I might have to listen to that app. It gets pretty thin. It gets pretty thin when you're not here, Andy.

Bottom of the barrel. Let's hear it from dress. All right. This is great. As a non-native speaker, it took until the 10th repetition for me to understand that did you get it

was literally asking if the apple juice arrived at their house. I kept thinking the joke was that there was some silly double entendre and I sent a bottle of sparkling apple juice

to your house, which the band thought was super clever and they just wanted you the listener to get it. Oh, they get the joke. It's actually just did you receive it, of course.

Yeah. The Alf show should be called three Alfins, I was suggested. Oh, like Alfin in the two months. Whoever wins the alpha off is the alpha male. Yeah. Yeah. That too.

He said I was leading with my forehead in my push-ups, and somebody very hurtfully said hard for Seth not to lead with his forehead. There's so much of it, exclamation point. Oh, are you thought of as a large foreheaded person? I am. We're all going that direction. Come on. Yeah, I mean, nobody's, nobody's all of a sudden getting less forehead. Here's what I'll say.

If you have a face, there's one feature for everyone. That's the biggest one. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, it's like the first time you get like a caricature done. You're like, oh, that's why I don't want to do that Simon Rich Broadway show. Because they just fucking do a character of you and you're like, oh, no. Oh, no.

I love imagining you texting Simon that. Smart. Oh, I can't. I can't. Oh, I can't do it, buddy. Well, I mean, I'll do it. Do I have a final cut on my caricature? approval on my caricature,

my Coney Island caricature. Anyway, Yorms would be his left eye. All right, let's move on. Oh, fuck you, man. Now you're going to think about it, though. Was I being serious or was it a bit? I just going to fucking haunt you till your deathbed, baby. Wait, you guys, I did a Reddit AMA and it was really fun and we should do one at some

point with all the extra time again. Oh, I'd love to do a Reddit AMA. Maybe we can just do a Reddit AMA while we're in podcast. That would be a better use of time for sure. Yeah. We did one back in the day. Three of us, Yoram. I was going to say, Yarm, you know we've done one as a long ago.

I know. It was really fun when we did it. I've done it already. I mean, they're delightful. Support comes from AG1. Spring means more movement trips, eating out, going on spring break, where you don't have your regular mic, so the audio's a little janky. Stay consistent with your health.

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In your AG1 welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order, that's a $72 value. Yours free, only while supplies last. Go to drinkag1.com slash island. Support comes from Home Chef. Home Chef is helping all of us reset. With simple recipes, fresh ingredients, and meals that feel balanced and achievable, it's the easiest way to get back into a routine without resorting to take out. Home Chef is a great selection of chef-made meals, including tortellini with truffle cream sauce,

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It's a great platform to find incredible places to stay. And for us, it was great because we knew we were going to be in Minneapolis for a couple of days. And we thought, why not be somewhere we could be comfortable, keep our own hours, you know, not worry about if we were going to sleep in and miss breakfast, make our own breakfast. We wanted to book a house that was close to Lake Minnetonka. We don't want to be in downtown Minneapolis. We want to be somewhere because we knew we were going to go in a boat trip the day after I'd

my special and the afternoon that we were going to go see to Lonely Island. And man, the options are available to us on Airbnb. It was very fun to choose. We made a great selection. And we had a great time. I'll tell you that much. I can't recommend it enough. Booking a trip on Airbnb makes for a better trip.

This is very exciting. It was the first Emma Stone show, who of course becomes a incredibly valuable member. I'm sorry, what did you say? Okay. We're not in full agreement here. We're not in full agreement here, but three of us are very big fit. She becomes a lynch bin host for, I guess, at this point, coming up on, like, it was crazy to think, but like 15 years, right? What years this episode?

2011? She's fantastic. And you were well past the birth of Indy Slees. I'm sorry? What is that reference? That's what all the music we like around this time is called now. Oh, is it really? Indies sleep?

Really? Yeah, did you do. Make sense. Give us some indie sleeves bands. Like Phoenix? Block party? No, like the stroke. and yeah, yeah, yeah.

That seems like a full, that's a full decade before this. Oh, you did say we're well past. I said well past. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I fucked up, man. I fucked up. This is October 2010. Well, I don't agree with that.

To me, it was just music. LCD, like basically all the bands in the Meet Me in the Bathroom Book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very cool. All right, guys, you do, I broke my arm. Memories of it, anybody? I remember Will Gluck, director of EZA, who I, who I knew a little bit, hitting me up and being like,

hey, Emma's coming on. Do a great video for her, will you? And we were like, yeah, of course. This happened. Don't worry, pal. We're going to make the biggest one we've ever made. This one's going to be a splash. But just being like, oh, we knew coming in that either she or Will Gluck wanted us to do a song

or something big and fun and showcase her, which we had already wanted to and we're excited to do. I don't remember how the idea came about, though. So just checking, you guys made an album and you're still not doing one of your album songs. You're still playing it close to the vest. Yeah. Coming up with new stuff. I think maybe because we were like wanting to be strategic about it and do like one of the ones we thought was going to be more big.

Yeah. Because had we put out, we're back. We had, right, to announce it? I don't think we had yet. You don't think we had, Keeve? I'll look it up. So EZA, just to tell you, came out in September of 2010, and then this episode's October. So I think this is a victory lap a month later of like, oh, that movie came out, great.

Let's have her own show. Okay, good. So, yeah, you were in a kind of a surprise hit. And I do believe that's why we'll text me. But we were already fans of Amazon, we were excited. I mean, as soon as we had seen super bad, we were like, whoa, who's that? She's super funny and great. We didn't put out, we're back till April Fool's Day of 2011, so four months after this, or five.

Got it. Got it. Good memory. So maybe we were strategizing. I think we just hadn't even started on album stuff yet. We just had the demos and we just weren't touching them yet. We were still probably like mixing and figuring out what it was going to be. Yeah.

But anyway, we just did it the way we always do it. We locked the door and tried to figure out an idea. But I have a feeling I broke my arm, wasn't Akiva. That just strikes me as. Yeah. I don't have any real memory. Honestly, the only real memories I have were that we started writing it. We were enjoying it, and then we were like, we need an escalation here, and Bill was in our office.

And he's the one who pitched the wheelchair beat. And we all started laughing and we were like, and I remember even being a discussion of like, can we do that? Is that too fucked up? And then it was making us giggle enough that we were like, I think it's above board and did it. And then, as you'll see at the end, we just completely shoehorn me into it. So that I had something in the show. And we roped Chrysel into the VFX to make that happen. Yes.

Should we watch it? Should we do an old school rewatch, Keeve? Yeah. Did you guys watch it already? Or does it give me fresh? I haven't yet either. I have not yet either. I didn't.

I will say, I remember enjoying it. It's fun. Yorm, were you there? Because you weren't there for the last one, and I don't remember if you were there for this one. I feel like I was there for some of the recording, but not all. I wonder. What were you up to? What were you doing at this time?

I don't know. No. McGruber had already come out. And there's no McGruber this week, right? No, but you also weren't there for the rescue dogs? No, no, no, yeah. So where were you? I don't know, being lazy?

I don't think so. I don't think you're allowed to be lazy. No, there had to be a reason you weren't there. Well, we've got to look at the rundown. I think this one's going to maybe, this is my prediction, and then we'll see what happens. No disrespect to anyone involved. I think this might be an inverted Akiva, where we think it's pretty good, and then we watch it and we're like, it's a little longer.

Well, I'm just fighting my tongue to not be a cliche. Oh, yeah, that's probably. But do you remember not thinking it was great? You already did kind of say that. Yeah, I remember because, again, the ones that feel worse a la Bugger Man, how I thought I felt about it, is the ones that I feel like are swinging for the fences and then getting, let's say it's a single, but we're swinging so hard. We, like, are pointing out at the bleachers, like we're going to hit a home run,

and then we're getting a single. And a single is very respectable if that's what you're going for. But when you pointed at the bleachers and then land on first base, it feels disappointing. Oh, wait. Sorry, I know we want to jump into this. Did we get a nice quump on Bougarman? How to go? Oh, we haven't looked at the quump.

What were we looking to get to? I think we needed 7,000 more to get over something, right? Wasn't that it? Oh, yeah, to get over $200,000. Hold on, I'll do that. Has any baseball player ever pointed to first base? Because that's a fucking pretty far. That'd be nice.

Be like, that's the base I'm going to go to first. I'm going to get to first. Oh, my God. Bougar Man's at 220,000. Whoa. So that's like a 27,000 quamp, right? Yeah. That's a big question.

By the way, somebody also wrote eight days ago, like if you're here for the quump, and it has 239 thumbs up. Man, y'all the best. Give me a break. Give me one whole break. That's a big quump for old booger man. Yeah, that's a hit me one whole break.

Appreciate all that. Appreciate the quump, Quito. Hey, lay off Keith's wife, brother. That's our friend. It's weird. They're both our friends. We need them for the long haul. It's just weird.

They're hanging out. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're just like, could just be emotional. Every time I bring it up, she just tells me that I sound stupid. She's like, this sounds stupid right now. Okay.

And then she goes, not that that's anything new, and it closes the door. Just full gaslight. Somebody wrote, by the way, there was 10 months was the last comment for Bougarman, and then there's like 30 since then. And somebody wrote watching this with Digman in the background while quibbling, while quibbing and Googling stronts, that's cobblimele. Oh, fucking that holds off the tongue. Hidden it from all angles.

Rolled off the tone. Oh, we were. I love that. I had something I was going to promote in that same quump way, but I think it's already sold out, which is the pop star screening. Yeah. That I texted. I texted that so that we could promote that there's going to be a 10-year anniversary screening at the Egyptian in L.A., but I think it's already. I can't go to that, Kiv.

I'm sorry. I know. It was going to be me and Yoram, but I guess I'm going alone. I'm going to go to Kevin Smith's theater. That's the reason why I can't go. Hey, you know what you could also do. Talk about clerks and dogs. I will. I will. Ten years later, or whatever. You know what it could also be good was if you pointed to the ground because you're in a bun. I was just thinking about that.

Yeah, you don't really want to tip them off on that one. Yeah, a little bit of surprise kind of key on a bun. I feel like everybody, every batter could point to first base. Just ask Tom Berringer's character in Major League. Does he bunt a lot? I don't remember. Oh, yeah. He's a big bunter. Yeah. Spoiler. Does he point to the bleachers? Bunn? It would have been so much better if you'd pointed to the ground and then hit a home run, though.

All right, let's watch it. And by the way, I hope we have some time because there are a couple sketches I'm going to talk about. It's not a Seth's Corner, but there's a real Keenan's corner episode. Well, we have not had a Seth's corner in many movies. I know. Maybe I'm just, maybe the pumps gone dry a little, trying to find something I want to talk about. I disagree strongly. Well, there's an Andy's corner from Dress as well. Oh, yeah. We got a lot. We got a lot of good stuff to talk about. All right. Let's blaze through this. All right, I'm hitting play. Here we are, guys. I think this short's going to rock. I'm unpredictable.

I love it. Who made this beat? I assume you. I don't think so. It's fun. It's a fun beef. So far, my favorite part is the line, every year there's a girl who breaks her arm.

Right. There's a premise happening here that, like, you know when you're in high school, there's like, always some girl and she's got a broken arm at some point. And you're like, I guess? That's not really a solid obstacle. No, it's a classic trope, Keeve.

You know all the John Hughes movies? There's always the girl who broke her arm. That's in there. One of my daughters broke her wrist once and had a full cast like that, just like Emma's, and she definitely was into it, was psyched. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. My early report is I like this premise and I find her incredibly winning.

Well, yeah. She's really selling the shit out of it. She's one of the all-time grace. She's one of the all-time grace. Great to see the old cafeteria. The thing about Emily is, you know, she can do it all. I'm pretty sure it's Emma? No, we're just turning it to it down.

Greg's take, I'm a pretty sure, is Emily. It actually is Emily. Hey, the... It is Emily. Yeah, I was being insider. Oh. Question, what is this light wall behind it? Is it just white that we pointed lights at? I think that's what it is. Because we're in the cafeteria that's no longer there. The old NBC commissary. Which we shot a lot of stuff. Yes. Laser cats, action. Laser cats. Foo fighters getting punched. The audience now is familiar with this space. But we've made it into a high school because, look it, we have a homecoming banner. We have go-teens. We've got a bunch of, you know, like sports stuff hung up.

It's fall, I guess, because there's a leaf, if you were. Yeah. Kids have bags, you know, like, look at this extra with this common school bag you might have. Ew. She's selling it. There's Abby and Paul. We did do a precursor shot of the foot by the jelly before the slip. Yeah, to show how close it was getting.

Yeah. And the jelly was still there. Kind of building tension. Do we think that's because we figured they'd be ahead of us? Yeah, foreshadowing. Yeah. We got Jay and Paul Britton here. We're deep into our run.

Yeah, we're deep into. We got Abby Elliott was in the other shot. Mm-hmm. Hey, everybody, did you hear the off. 20. It is dark. So why? So his rap is just starts with a sentence about the premise and then just goes into a bit of his personal life.

That has so many, like, just Lonely Islandisms on every level. Yeah. going faster and faster. I feel like this is a classic Keeve. That's better than you remembered. I'd say it was right around where I remember. I remember Brian Tucker liking the Grave jelly wrap. I'll say that.

Yeah, great. Because ex-wife asking for the alimony. The kid ain't mine. I was wearing a gym hat. Hawaiian bitch trying to get me from my scratch is. Yeah. We learn a lot about this. Grave jelly's been through some shit.

Yeah. And he's maybe not the hero of his own story. He might be the villain. We know. I'm immediately. I'm siding with the wife immediately. I like somebody reached out to Grape Jelly and they like explain what the song was. And they're like, we'd love you to do a guess verse.

And then he like sent that in there like, I don't think he listened to the song. That is exactly. I think this is an old verse. He had an old verse that he just tried to pawn off on us. Grape jelly face, tough to look at. The color of the makeup really doesn't match the jelly in a way that's upsetting. Yeah. It takes even a second to know it's you.

Yeah. I like his Mickey Mouse. I might have plausible deniability on this one. Robot Mickey Mouse arms and legs. Yeah, he does have Mickey Mouse. I also like that Chrysle put the reflection into the table too.

Like that's a pretty good job. Chrysle. Oh, yeah. I like that you guys knew it was too sad to keep going and so you had to like have a crate and it was too soon to end it. And so you rocked out grape jelly.

Also she on her keyboard types in bitches ain't shit, but hoes and tricks. She needs to get in. She's still in the song. Yeah. Well, she's in his song now. That wasn't part of hers.

Obviously at this point. No surprise to the world of large now that Emily Stone has a pretty dark sense of humor. True indeed. This was not a tough sell to Miss Emily Stone. I would say maybe the detail that I take away liking the most is all of the other, quote-unquote, kids very reluctantly doing the call and response on nevertheless. She's still super sexy. Are you saying that because every single one of them looks like a teacher when you say quote-unquote? Yeah, I would say so.

A lot of the cast that's in this, though, they could be playing high school, like, in a 90s show. Yeah. Yeah. They're 902 and O ages. But I think you were saying something genuinely nice, Andy, and I, as the negative one, will agree that that, the call and response, but then they're doing it, where they all have this look of in their eye of, like, we shouldn't still be doing this. Yeah. Like, this has crossed the line, but we're going to support her, but we, I don't know. That is a good move.

Not a digital short, but of course she went on to do Wells for Boys, the actress, I believe, was the name of the one where she was the non-sex performing cast member in a pornography film. She was really funny. And then she married Dave McCarrie, who directed this. But don't forget her most important piece of work ever written by Mike O'Brien, Making Technology Hump. Yeah, which is that this episode or next time? I think next time. I look forward to watching that. We'll get there.

We'll get there. I will say I enjoyed that a great team. I think it'll be a nice quamp bump, a nice quump. What number? Wait, hold on. Yeah, check what it is now. And let's over under the quamp. So it's at 6.6 mill. Can we get it at 6.7?

If it gets a bad quamp, could we call it a crumb bum quump, quump bump? Yes. Sometimes we might want to aim for a crumb, quamp bump bump. Well, when he said it was 30 comments, I'm like, well, that's not that good of a quump. Bougarman got a legit quamp, but also the numbers feel pretty massive because it was so low to start with. I mean, there's people on there commenting from yesterday, day before, like, early quump gang. Yeah. You know.

It's a good T-shirt, early quump gang. Quamp gang! It would be nice if we had badges. If there was a way for us to give, like, online badges for quamp gang, that would be a nice thing to be able to do. Keith, can you open up the episode? Yeah, except for the thing, Seth. You forgot one thing, Seth. We don't need those things.

Yes. Oh, that's good. Now, here's my question to you in. Very good. No, but they do, though, Andy. Yeah, no, but they do for real. They do for real. I have a hardcore answer to this, a true answer.

How did you first know the line we don't need no stinking badges? Did you actually see the source? Oh, you know it's UHF. UHF. It is. UHF for me as well. And then it was years later that I saw the treasure of Sierra Madre, and I'm like, oh, it wasn't badgers.

I knew what it was from, from my dad explaining it, though, but I had not seen it, but him going, oh, that's from a... Drag your dad to UHF, though? Or was it in, like, the trailer? I'm sure. Oh, that's so funny. I don't think I got to see UHF in the theater. I think that was a VHS.

It's so funny now being a dad and doing that same thing. I'm being like, oh, well, this is a reference to this. Like, in trolls. These songs are old songs. Yeah. I do remember making my kids listen to time after time because it's in trolls, but the real one. And Cindy Lopper, of course, legend the best. But her version is much less pop.

sounding because her voice is like a little like... Yeah, it's Cindy Lopper. It's Cindy Lopery, so it's scratchier, I guess, is what I'd say, compared to Justin Timberlake. And Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake is a lot more kid-friendly version sounding of it. Yeah. Oh, no, true colors. It's not time after time.

Don't want to get the jackals after me, Seth. Oh, I said... Wait, wait. True colors. Like, I assumed for all of us, Cindy Lopper over Madonna when we were kids. Like, to me, I was like totally in love with... I mean, not to overstate it, but for me... over everything.

Sidney Lapper over everything. Yeah. But my kids like the true colors from the troll soundtrack more. So, wait, we got, wait, Seth, we got in trouble because you said you were watching Liar Liar, but then it had Evan Almighty,

and that's from Bruce Almighty. Yep, I fucked up. We were watching Bruce Almighty. I fucked up. I know that. Fucked up. Oh, shit. And I'm so fucking sorry.

I should even host a podcast. I'm so fucking sorry. You fucking idiot. I'm having a. Drews of thoughts. Yoram, will you, will you open the episode? Sorry, Keeb, will you open the episode and screen share it? Yeah, I was going to say, like, I don't do that.

No problem, oh. It's no problem, oh, just play your demo. Go to, like, 4710. All right, Jimmy McMillan, local New York politician, started the rent is too damn high party. All right. So this is a real guy who is ahead of his time. Obviously, the current mayor of New York, Zoraa, Mom Don.

He basically won, ran away with the race because he made the point that real estate rent is too damn high in New York. Jimmy was ahead of his time. Keenan is Jimi McMillan written by Colin Joseph is one of my favorite things in the history of the show. And let's just listen to it through because it's really some pretty incredible. Love is love. Do you want to describe what we're looking at first?

So we're on weekend update. We're on weekend update. This is a very good, I mean, again, hair makeup wardrobe, of course, crushing the actual look. He always wore black gloves, bald head, long white hair. What would you call that mustache? I feel like that's a famous name of a mustache. Basically, the mutton chops go across into a mustache and then also a big bushy goatee.

It's a fantastic look. Look it up. But let's just give it a listen. Allow me to introduce myself. I represent the rent is too damn high party. You know why? Because the rent is too damn high. People got seven jobs.

They work in 36 hours a day, 12 days a week, and they can't afford a roof. I will make sure that you have a roof over your head, money in your pocket, and breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You hear that? Somebody's stomach just grabbed. That was a children's stomach just grabbed, because the rent is too damn high. You know how much a one-bedroom apartment costs in Manhattan $77,000 a month? You know what a roof costs? You can't afford it.

You know what breakfast, lunch, and dinner costs. Put it this way. It'd be cheaper to eat a roof. You probably look at me and you think it to yourself, what is he just another Washington insider? Shaking his head very gently. What is he part of the establishment? Well, believe it or not, I have never been a governor anywhere. People ask, if elected, how would you lower our rent?

Simple. The rent is too damn hot. A house in Queens cost $17 million. What does it? Part three. What? If elected president, I will make sure every single American

eats breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You on a diet? Too bad. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. You in a car driving around all day? Pull over. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. You already ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

I don't care. You're going to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner again. Because why? Because the rent is too damn hot. Now, Mr. McMillan, What about these reports that you yourself haven't paid rent since the 80s? You know why I don't pay my rent, Seth? Well, if I had to guess, I would say it's because the rent is too damn high.

So this Halloween, vote for Jimmy McMillan. It's Halloween. With your help, I hope to become the first black governor ever elected from the rent is too damn high party. Climbaboard the Jimmy McMillan Express. You can grab on here or here. Because it's going to be a wild ride. A very short, very wild rap. Jimmy McMillan, everybody.

Grabbing his own handlebar mustache. God, Kenan is so good. Yeah. Fucking, he's amazing. The way he pronounces the word McMillan is possibly the best part, and that's saying a lot. Jimmy McMillan.

It's just all one. Yeah. And then let's go straight, 126-17, Keith. Can I say one thing before we go to that, Seth? Yeah. I want to talk about, and I'm guilty of this,

more than maybe anyone, and I used to try for it every time. Update features trying to add one last joke after the clapping starts. Yeah. Yeah. And it never lands, but it's always in, and I would always try to do it myself. And then you always watch it and you're like, it just gets lost. Why does everyone do it? I still do it. But I did it. So why did we do it? It's like part of the energy, though? I will sometimes, Andy, on my show today, be like, hey, you know, like give it up for Anna Kendrick, everybody doing the bad. And then I'll try to like call back something she said. Yes. And I'm like, it's, why?

They're all clapping. It's over. Because it feels more human. It feels more natural as a human being to keep going to not just be like, and now I'm shut down. I'm a robot. But it always is kind of just soupy. Yeah. Anyway, hit us in the tittis. Should people stop? No, I think that's great. I think that's great. There's nothing wrong with it, though, right? There's nothing wrong with it. Do people

like it just energetically? Hit us in the titus? Yeah. Would you rather they try to get in one last joke or just lean their head back, a quato style, where they have on dead inside of quarter. Quotto with a T. Just be like, pshmoo.

Just shutting down would be pretty funny, too. That'd be very funny at the end of update. If they're like, Jimmy McBill and everyone, blah.

Everybody like Colin and Cheats who were like, I'm in Colin Jones, at Michael Jay. Brow. Just immediately taking off his beard and kind of muttering to himself. Also,

when he said grab on here and grab on here, he was gesturing to the two different sides of his handle bar mustache. Oh, defo. Just for anybody. be not watching.

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I feel like this second or third Gugger-R-N-A, Gug-R-R-N-A was like just discount clothing written by the great James Anderson. So just visually, without even him play, he's in a red member-only jacket. He's got kind of a graying, a graying short afro. He's got a...

Salt and pepper mustache, yeah. Some kind of chain. He has an afro with one, you can tell he has one white spot when it's graying afro. And then he's got, in the background, and you can see like various superhero and like princess costumes.

It's a discount Halloween warehouse. Well, we're in a Halloween episode, I guess. Yeah. It's October. Before you start it, Seth, is Googie Renee, hey, how you doing? Is that the first line? I think so. Go back and we miss it.

Okay, hold on, I'll go back. Quiet, quiet, quiet. It's going to start soon. Let those laughs go. This is an iconic Mary Ellen Matthews bumper photo. Oh, Emily looks so nice there, doesn't she? Emily does look stunning. Do you have an impression about all of stuff?

Dad? Yeah, he did it. Alv, don't eat the cat. You're telling me you don't want to do that over and over here? Do him on his, it's his last day. He's just finished his last shot. Do him leaving without saying goodbye day. Okay, but you have to yell cut.

And cut. Fuck you guys, I'm going to smoke. Jesus Christ. You got to bleep all that. Probably not far off. Seth just fell backwards into a birthing pose. Nobody come with me except for you. Larry, Larry the cameraman.

We're seeing the tops of his bare knees, like he's about to deliver a child. Do you think he invited Larry, the cameraman? Come with me, you can make a fortune. Hey, how you doing? There we go. It's me, Gugi René. Halloween is coming real quick.

What you're going to be? A Navi Dhabi from the avatars? Shia. If you want a great Halloween costume, but you don't want to pay supermarket prices, then you need to get to Gugi René's partially damaged Halloween costume. He says barn and it says basement.

What do you have in your hands? I think it's a ghost costume but the whole back's ripped out. So, ghosts don't turn around. They just approach, shea. But what about when it's time to leave the party, Googie? I don't know. I cannot plan your life. Maybe get naked underneath and tell people it's a hospital gown.

Shea. Hello, I'm interested in this Dracula cape? Well, you should be. It's interesting. But it kind of has a weird odor. What is it? I don't know. Let me smell it.

I know what it is. Oh. Oh. That smells like she is. Is there anything you can do about it? No, I'm not touching it anymore. Two dollars. Smell it twice.

At Gugie Renee's, nothing is more than $2 in a stank basket. Sweet. Googie, something smells over here. It's the stank basket, Linda. Get it out of it. Coogie, I love this Greek goddess outfit, but it has tire tracks all over it. That's because the last owner got run over by a smart car. Oh, what?

A smart car. Well, if it's so smart, why did it hit a person? She are? Tire track out. Fool around with some bleach. I don't know. Soak it in kaboom. Thanks.

I'll take it. The weirdest read of it. I'll take it. She could not resist. Virginia horses is that by. Fah. I love this Marilyn Monroe dress, but I'm concerned about the mustard stain. Well, that's not a mustard stain.

That's a baby barf. He's not a baby. He's five. Well, he acts like a baby. You need to stop bringing them to work. Does this look like a place for a toddler? So, uh, so what do I do about the stain? I don't know. Maybe just hold this gladiator shield in front of it. Marilyn Monroe didn't have a shield. Well, if she had one, maybe she wouldn't have gotten shot.

She out! If we can't figure out how to get rid of the stain on your costume, we will give you things to put in front of it. Like this wolfman would in us weekly. Or Yoda with a pot of chili. Or Queen Elizabeth with a baby pool. Now that costume had an enormous stain. Thanks, Gugi. I feel special. We all do.

Son of our beer. This is about savings. A, personal damage, Halloween costume discount basement. Crossed eye. A lot of quotables in that. A lot of quotables. It was the last one of the night. Hey, how you doing?

Shia, son of a Bia. Fah. That smells like Shia. Also, waving the camera in to... Give it cross-eyed. Zoom in onto his face, and then having crossed eyes is pretty spectacular. That was, there were the Esseltel T-shirts. We've talked about the Esonel T-shirts.

There was an S-N-T-shirt year where it was just. just a cartoon of Googie Renee's face and the famous line, it's not rocket problems. It's not rocket problems. Oh, yes. I do remember that shirt now. Rocket problems? This is about savings.

This is about savings. That's quite a few. Do we want to talk about Griff Banks? Well, Griffith Banks, we have talked about before, correct? And we know that the story ends with Second Chance Theater. Second Chance Theater on your show. But was this the first time, or had you tried it before? And this is the second time you tried it.

This is post-Gabere Citibe, correct? Because I think that was the first time we tried it. But by the way, this is the second time we tried, and it got to dress again and did not air again. So do we want to look at it and to see if it should have aired? Yeah. Well, the question is, is it different a la Mando Butts, right? Like, was it adjusted?

There was no pre-watch to determine that. No, we don't know. But let's just give it a little look-se, shall we? All these photos seem like winners to me. Wait, is that the high school yorm that we always get. That is correct. That is a L.A. So this high school is in West L.A.

Yorm's been an extra on some TV show at this when he was like 19 or 20. And I shot Rescue Rangers here. This is the high school in the beginning of Rescue Rangers when the Chippendale are little. And my kids are sitting on the lawn right here. Kenley High School. It kind of looks like the Billy Madison High School, too, but I bet that's not. It could be. I don't feel like they shot Billy Madison in L.A.

Look it up. Hit us in the Tennis. It's been in tons of. stuff, including use the stock footage before this famous cut sketch. Hitteson Keyes Tittis on that one. I don't want to be bothered with it. I'd like to have my Tittis free of it. It's a perfect looking high school for shooting.

It's a dress sketch, so I don't think we can show it. So never mind. Hey, check out Chippendale Rest Rangers now on Disney Plus if you want to see this high school. Oh, man, this guy's going for a quamp. This guy's quomping. April 17th at the Egyptian theater, Pop Star. It's sold out already. What are you doing?

It's got 500 seats. That's a lot of butts already decided to come see it. That's Mando bets. Check out the Godfather, too. Michael Colione's back. But now he's the boss. It's the best godfather.

He's back and maybe even more violent. The boy needs a quab. All right, shall we? Ooh, wait, stop. Background actors putting way too much stink on it right out of the gate. I mean, this is dressed, so that note probably would.

would have got through. Well, also, why? Like, we'd have to check the script, but you probably didn't put 10 seconds of dead air right at the top. I didn't say that. Hey, can I just say as well, since we, you know, we got back into the stuff we cut with Elfstad. We may also have made some cuts in bigger man. What I should have said is there is an extra in the beginning, standing with Bill. Right. Yeah. Who I feel as though was underdirected by Akiva. I feel like, that's why it was my fault. So underdirected is the course correction on how you're describing that. Got it. Sure. Yeah. We don't know. We don't know. and we'll never know what I said in what we edited.

No. But in looking back, I do feel as though, and again, maybe I'm, am I looking for a secondary quump? Do I want people to go back and give it one more look, see? I feel as though she just wasn't quite being told. Yeah, she's trying to bump the quop. Yeah. And we'll never know if you wanted to say that a second time because it was so cruel or because your audio was so bad.

There's no way to suss it. No way. And Yoram, you're saying that if somebody isn't satisfied with the initial quump and ask people to go back and listen, it's called bump the quump. You're trying to bump that quump. Yep. Seth's trying to bump the quump. Well, you especially are going to want to do that if you get a crumbum, quump bump.

Very similar to the issue. By the way, obviously I broke my arm, high schoolers. Now we have high schoolers. I would say Fred looks like Gabe Kaplan's dad. And Bill looks like the... Who's the guy? Hold on. Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lamb.

Bingo. He looks like. He really does. He looks like that. Who he's all. also played. So Andy, do you think Bougarman got a crumb-bump-bump? Because 27,000's pretty good. For Bougar-Man, that's a stellar quump bump. Right. So you think Seth trying to bump the quump is unnecessary. Oh, I mean, I think it's already had its due and it's day in the sun. Okay. Yeah. Oh, wait. So a crumb-bump bump

is not that it didn't deserve it. It's just a bad quamp. It's a bad quamp. Yeah, exactly. It's a bad quorum. It was crums. It was crums. The quads didn't come through and give it the proper quump it deserved. but Bookerman didn't get that, so then trying to bump the quump doesn't feel earned. You need to bump the quump because it wasn't a crumbum, quump bump. It's become like a Dr. Seuss. While you guys were talking about crumbum-quump bumps, it also occurred to me that Bill looks a little bit like

Chrisman Jim Jordan as well, who I think later he played. I think later he played, because I think when Lauren was watching this, at this point, Lauren already knows he's cutting it because of the 10 seconds of dead error, and then he's 245. It's just casting for other sketches now.

245-year-old high school. We're going to also see how it played. but yeah, it was cooked. Early, I would say this is an early cooking. You accidentally had the oven turned up to a thousand degrees. I pulled up the script from Kevin. It says, open on. It says exterior high school from Chippendale Rescue Rangers Day.

Then it says 10 seconds dead air while extra's clear. Oh, wow. So it was on us. And then finally it's like Fred and Bill enter as two high school students looking at their books. So it's got a weird open right off the bottom. that. And in parentheses, it says old. In retrospect, would have probably omitted some of that. You wanted them to look at old books, but the Don Roy King was like, oh, they're supposed to be old guys. Right, right, right, right. Yes, they're looking at books.

They go, hang on, let me put on my readers. Should they be win this? So this sketch did get done at Second Chess Theater? Yeah. Is this want to come with, though? No. No. No, we've done both at Second Chess Day. So you've done two, Andy? It's Griffbanks, the sensitive bully. Yeah. Got it. Me and Seth are great friends. I was there. I was there for Want to Come With, but I guess that's why I remember it so well, but I wasn't there for this, I don't think. Well, the second chance cedar of Griff Banks is about to get a quamp. Were you there, Keith? Was it a sort of who's on first situation where Andy said, I'm going to Seth, want to come with? And you thought he was inviting you.

Yeah, and so I did. So I went. Yeah, you came and Andy was like, what are you doing here? And you were like, you said, want to come with. What the hell are you? That's the name of the sketch. That's exactly what happened. Exactly. And I was like, what sketch? Except for what Keith showed up, I said, What are you doing here? What are you doing here? By the way, this is an insanely long preamble

to talk about a sketch we've already talked about. That is, we're about to look at the time it got cut for the second time. Yeah, I'm excited to hear it. All right, here we go. The limit as X approaches zero is zero. Hey, nerds, give me your lunch money, or I'll pound you? We just gave it to you yesterday, Griff.

Well, I want it again, so coughed it up. Just leave us alone, Griff. What'd you just say to me? You're always picking on everyone, but you're not so tough. You're just a big jerk. Are you crying? No! Grimbing!

What? I feel like we should have watched the first version of this. Do you think it had this? Yes. The same or changed? I don't think this is massively different. I don't think it's massively different, but I will say, for something that had already gone to dress once before,

there's a lot of dead air and like miscues. Well, that was written into the sketch. No, you're right. This is not. Nobody has taken advantage of this is our second time through. He says, no, I'm not. And then we wrote parenthetical, we wait seven seconds for them to roll the theme song.

It's a lot of weird choices, Andy. All right, let's go back in. What's up, you quiffs? Oh. Oh, hey, Griff. You do my homework like I told you to? Or am I going to have to pound you? Hey, come on, Griff.

Take it easy. Would you just say to me? I didn't do your homework, okay? I'm not scared to you. Griff? My old man's always whaling on me. What? My family's always moving around,

so I never made any real friends. Oh boy. Yeah, let's get out of here. Well, screw you guys that, who needs ya? Hey, hey, numnuts, what's the matter with your books? Hey, don't do that again, or I'll hit you. What's wrong with you? I wear swim trucks in the showers.

What? It hides my diaper. You got problems, man. I do, I do, man. Thanks for listening, bro. You're my best friend. We're not friends. Oh, fine then. Screw you.

Who needs you? Oh, come on, Griff, pull it together. You're the king of this school. Hey, Griff. Oh, wait. Oh, no. You got a picture. I don't know that's my virginia.

You don't have to tell me that. I'm a terrible... Listen to me. You are a totally decent bully. I am. Classic bully traits. Bad home life, low self-esteem. I hate nerds.

Yeah, you hate nerds. See? You're a great bully. Here. Take my lunch money. Okay. But can I say I bullied it off you? Sure.

Cool. See you around. Oh, and nerd? Yeah. Thanks. Great luck. Hey, Gaylord, go to prom with me. Ew, no.

But I'm 37! Yeah, yeah, it didn't deserve to air. No, it didn't deserve to air. I will say, my dad's always wailing on me, I believe, every time you do to the table was the big old laugh. I think about that line a lot. Yeah, my dad's always wailing on me. I say that a lot. It chilled the audience.

You sound like baby Brent from Cloudy with a Chance some meatballs. Oh, yeah. Well, not everyone has a thousand voices like you, Akiva. Thank you. I was fishing for that. You know, in Chittendale. It is great early on when you don't get a laugh on my dad's always mailing on me, which also hearing it now makes perfect sense.

It doesn't get a laugh. I'm just saying amongst comedy writers it always would. Yes. And then you know, like, what's coming is that you, let your dog have sex. People were not finding that funny. They found it quite sad. The audience reaction was exactly the same as Emma's character's reaction.

I was like, oh. Yeah. Why would you tell me that? Too much pathos. I played it too real is probably the issue. That's right. You did play it to real. My performance was too grounded, I think.

They were like, suddenly this is just happening. It was too well acted. That's where you're coming out. Yeah. Yeah. I chilled them. because they were like, is this an Oscar film? How did it do on your show, Seth?

Well, I mean... Oh, it went great on the show. But again, we set it up. We're like, this ate shit. Exactly. And then, like, people delight and, like, knowing... Like, they're not like, the audience got it wrong. They're always like, oh, my God, this is so funny

that they tried to do this. Yes, exactly. Wait, wait, wait. Did you keep my dad's always willing on me? I assume. 100%. Of course. I mean, that's like the lynchpin of the whole piece.

You have to keep the good and the bad. Yeah. So I'm turning on the second chance theater. Hello, and welcome to Second Chance Theater, where sketches that were once cut from Saturday Night Live are given, well, a second chance. Tonight, a tale of a young high schooler with two disparate personalities tearing him apart.

On the one hand, he's an individual who physically and verbally intimidates those whom he perceives as vulnerable, and on the other, he's a giant puss. We now present the sketch Griffbanks, The Sensitive Bulley, starring Andy Sandberg and featuring The Second Chance Players. Please, enjoy. Hey, there's the high school, but it's a different angle?

It's a different shot. That's weird, but same high school. Hey, what'd you get for number eight? Same amount of dead air at the top. So you were the guest, Andy, on the South Show, so they weren't surprised that it's going to be you. No. And had you guys already discussed it?

Had you already been on the couch? I think we probably had. But then Malaney's a surprise here, right? Yeah. Yeah. So now Malaney is in Bill's spot. Stacking the deck. We're stacking the deck on second chance theater.

And who's this other gentleman, Seth? Is it somebody that works for your show? That's Jermaine Alfonso. He's a writer for my show. Very funny writer for my show. The limit as X approaches zero is zero. So so far you did cut the dead air. Interest and choice, okay?

Not a ton of it. Hey, nerds! Oh, you've got a beard now because you had a beard in your life. Give your lunch buddy or I'll pound you. We'll just. Gave it to you yesterday, Griff. Well, I want it again, so cough it up. Based on your face, you thought we were doing

a second-chance theater of two sides. Teen, oh, oh, oh. Was it? I thought you were gonna say Teen Wolf. Yeah, that's what it was about you. It looks like you're Hugh Jack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave us alone, Griff.

Would you just say to me? You're always picking on everyone, but you're not so tough. You're just a big jerk. No, I'm not. Okay. Okay. Are you crying?

We did not reshoot, obviously. There's a Simon Rich and a Rob Klein and a Gillian Bell. I mean, I think we're good, right? Yeah, we got it. Well, let's see who played Emma Stone's part. Amber Ruffin plays Emma. And Keenan came. Oh, Keenan came now.

Keen and came to reprise his same role. Yeah. Can we go to my dog, I let my dog have sex to me and see if it got a laugh here, though? I will say the pace is much better here. Do you think it's that or do you think that it's killing? That's a good point. It's a good point. What's wrong?

I let my dog have sex with me. Why? I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I knew. You don't have to tell me this. I'm a terrible bully. This isn't even a varsity jacket. It's my little pony. It's a better back of the jacket.

I'm not a bully. I'm just a guy. Gaping Snorff. Cut to Seine. Oh, great. Wildered Seth. Gaping Snorff. That's a good addition.

Why didn't we cut to Lorne doing that during the original one? I mean, by the way, gaping snorff, I think that's another one for the pod. You're also one of the things, I mean, it does go to, you acted it too well at S&L, because you are now just playing a big old splashy cartoon character. There's a lot more joy in it now because, like, you aren't wondering how it's going. You know what I mean? Yeah, correct. There's nothing at stake.

The win is that it's in second chance theater. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's wonderful. What a great way to show it where the audience is in it with you. Yeah. Much like on this pod. I wish all my sketches could have been like that.

Yeah. Yeah, just joy. Just enjoy so. You didn't end up like a gaping snorff. Just tell everyone beforehand it sucks. And then they'd be like, no, it's good. Well, one thing. Sorry, sets.

Go ahead. What? So here we go. So I broke my arm, not Criterion, not Kim's video, but fine. Yeah. Is that how we feel? Emma Stone, fantastic. Yes, to no fault of Emmas.

And it was good, in fact. It's just not one of those two things. Yep, yep. Okay. And you were saying before it started, you thought if it was just the jelly stain, it would be criterion. Oh, my God. Can you imagine a full track of the grape jelly? Yeah, pretty good.

Pretty good. It would be a tougher to look at. All right. Well, this was just a delight. Great to have the quado together. Yeah. We got the quado. Weird that you're not asking me how I did on Spelling Bee.

Well, I know. I know you know, but the quades don't know. Jack Black. Spelling bee. Spelling bee. Yeah, I could be clean. You're a few piece of shit. You'll never beat me, dude.

You'll never be. I missed the lally gag, which is heartbreaking because that's there a lot. Also, since we mentioned Jack Clark singing in, of tonight. Well, you can't promo a show that's going to happen in a few hours, but Jack Black, Jack White.

Yeah. S&L. Very excited. I wonder how it was. I wonder how it was, too. You guys already know. My guess is good. Riz Ahmed.

Riz Ahmed is already an hour into hosting S&L UK right now. Wow. Yeah. What a life. What a world. That there's two happening.

Do you think there's a sketch about his Riz? A minimum joke in a mono. Yeah, or like somebody's the Rizler. Yeah. Well, does the Rizler Has he crossed over? Do you think the Rizzler has made a footprint?

I think with Tick-Tock, I think it's all. I think everything's everywhere. Is the Rizler across the pond? We don't know. I don't know. I don't know. If we wrote the Rizler Ahmed, you could write the Rizler Ahmed right now. And it's like another person that's playing Riz Ahmed, but he's like the one with charisma.

And I think with the time difference, if you wrote it right now, you can still get it in. That's what I mean. Big advantage. Because it doesn't air here for a bunch. It's just because it's not then here now. That's right. All right, you guys. Well, let's all get back

to our hotel many bars. Love you all. Okay, again, this is my home, but yeah, it sounds good. Love you. Love you. Love you guys. Later, Arnold.

Later, Quades.