The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Listener Q&A Episode 12

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

Oooooon this episode of The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast it’s Jorm and Soof. They couldn’t get enough of each other on Late Night and going to the premiere of Lorne so they decided to do a pod. And not any pod, a Quad Army Q&A! Really, this is kinda just a story edition and no real questions so not sure what to call that. But in addition to Seth slowly turning this pod into Corrections we have a few really great stories from the QA. One of them involving Jorm and some impressionable Catholic high school girls (worded for dem clicks) and the other is about Seth being mad on a train. It’s a shorter episode this week but it’s not a re-run! Enjoy! Laura’s Ardy Party Video | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ8OTrn6ew8 Jorma on Late Night | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtO6_A1kx6I&t LORNE - Official Trailer | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jAzm4a5SLo Send us an email: [e-mail] Send us a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/thelonelyisland Send us stuff: P.O. Box 4024 New York, NY 10185 Photos and everything else can be found by following us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod (Not all the clips we mention are available online; some never even aired.) If you want to see more photos and clips follow us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod. Send us an email! [e-mail] Willie's Remedy Willie’s ships directly to your doorstep in 40+ states. Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code ISLAND for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country. Hims For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/ISLAND for your free online visit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm going to be Paramount Theater in Denver on May 8th. I'm going to be at the Route 66 Casino Hotel in Albuquerque on May 9th. I'm going to be with my good friend, Brooks Wheelan, who, let's be honest. If you listen to the pod, you can tell Andy is growing a little bit jealous of. It's a very fun time. We'd love to see you. And now back to the pod or the ads. I don't know where they're going to put this.

Hey, it's the quade army. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Lonely Island and Seth Myers podcast. Today, it's just Seth and Yorm. Woo! More of me. This is a hat trick for us this week, Yorm. Yeah.

I did a Cuban A with you in New York City for your fantastic film. It was a delight. It was so fun. Then you were on late night on, wait, Thursday night. Yeah, I brought you over. burrito then you brought a burrito out we opened with a lot of burrito brain references that went well over 90% of my audience's head 10% was super excited uh-huh maybe last so we opened with a lot of burrito brain stuff i also in what in the intro i don't know if you noticed i said you know him from the lonely

island and seth myers podcast which some people thought that was me trying to grab a little bit more credit for your your word that maybe i deserved oh no i loved it i loved it i loved it i did like that After I gave you the burrito, though, when we were talking on the off-off minutes, you were like, what kind of brino is? I was like, it's a pretty bad basic, basic peanut cheese. And then you just rejected it out right. Well, I took a bite of it during our interview and you recoiled. Yeah, yeah, it's a little.

Because you said you'd bought it like hours and hours and hours. Well, it's from buddies burritos in Brooklyn. Well, there you go. You probably aren't familiar not being in the late-night world. Yeah. With the weekly New York Magazine's Vulture does who won late night this week. Did you know this was even a thing? I mean, I did, but I haven't thought about it like the way you do.

Just like, that's why that I wait for it every week, like the way you wait for a Broadway review? Sure, probably you don't think about it the same way. Anyway, our friend, it's your Sardis. Our friend, Bethie Squires, who writes it every week. We did not win late night, Yorne, but we did finish in the number two spot. Okay, that's good. Is that good? Is that good?

Yeah. It's exceptionally good. Oh, sweet. But how many late nights are there? Like, what are you competing against? Is it like eight different? Well, don't make it. Don't remind everybody how in a field we're up against it.

I mean, it's Kimmel, it's Colbert, it's The Daily Show, it's Fallon, it's Andy Cohen. Okay. Andy Cohen won this week. But I just want to say because, you know, the last pod with you and Akiva started with a lot of shade thrown at Andy and I. Yeah. For the fact that we're... Pretty boys?

Yeah, we're just like, I don't know, you made us seem like elitists, coastal elites. You said, I did like that you caught yourself. You said that you guys are the guys, you represent flyover country, even though you couldn't even, even though you would never call it that. No, you wouldn't. I couldn't even think of like what was the middle of the country. Yeah. Like when I was talking about being corn fed.

Yeah, it's sad. But I will just say that it was the write-up of your appearance. The two sweetest sweetie pies of the Lonely Island and Seth Myers podcast. So just to know from where NYU is. a magazine and you and I are the ones who are, you know, keeping it real while the other two are the ones that are, you know. Well, get ready for an extra sweet episode. Let's have my podcast.

Here it comes, guys. Here it comes. It was so much fun to have you on. It was so much fun to be in a movie theater with people who just saw your fantastic movie. You know, again, obviously you and Keith talked about it at length last week, but I haven't had a chance on the pod after I've seen it to talk about how much I loved it and how great it is. and how I hope everybody will continue to give it a quump. Oh, please quump it up because honestly, like, I've been shilling so hard for it.

But it's because, like, I'm like, this opening weekend matters so much. I know. It's just, it's such a shame to have to, like, sell it as hard as I have been. But it's also been really fun. Like, like, and I was saying before you got on, too, Seth, like, every single Q&A that we've done, so many quaid armies, it's been so fun with people, like, shouting it out. And the response, I mean, We were talking about the way you say righteous kill.

Yes. I do feel like you throw it off. It changes all the time. Yeah. It's like, oh, righteous kill. And then somebody shouts it out again. You're like, oh, yeah, righteous kill. Yeah.

I would say that on a solitary one, I try to say it the way you would say. And a good day to you. Yeah, I think that's how I can say it too. Give my righteous kill. Yeah. Yeah, we got plenty of it. You could tell there was a lot of Kuwait Army in the house at night. So that was.

that was a lot of fun. I will say though, you know, talking about like getting out there and flogging work that one you want people to see, but two, you're proud of. The same night you were on the show, Charlize Theron was on the show. And, you know, she produced this movie. She's in right now called Apex. Yes. I saw this. You're talking about the stunt that they did in Times Square, right? Oh, no. I was just saying, like having seen the movie and I kind of saw her movie, I saw your movie, and I get the, I don't know, instinct to go out and try to get people to see it because they're really fun movies. Like they're both of them.

They're like action-packed. They're thrillers. Yours is very funny. Everybody in them is great. And so I don't know. I just highly recommend both. I also just think that like, and maybe this is because I've had such a wonderful time going around the country

and actually being in like really cool theaters and, but like the communal aspect of it. And I kept being like, I guess theaters are back. Like people are going to. Obviously it's a very, you know, like a prescribed experience that I'm having. But it's so like great post-pastime. pandemic to like be in theaters with people laughing and like it's so it's so fun man it's been awesome uh

this was a very funny comment in the youtube section last week and i read the comments before i listened to the episode okay and so somebody wrote if there isn't a 10 minute block of this pod discussing theater rakes i'm gonna snap yeah yeah there was uh there was uh there was and uh it was it was uh was delightful. Oh shit. Sorry about that, guys. You actually mentioned this line when we were doing the Q&A about a

Juliet-Lewis line in the movie, but there was a comment, saw this movie on opening day for that quamp bump, and had a question about Allegra yelling, you're a motherfucking titty-sucking, two-ball bitch. Does this mean that this movie takes place in the universe that the style boys exist in? Or is it

our universe where the movie Popstar exists, which means she probably saw it at one of the prison movie nights. This is a line that she just is like improvised. She improvised this, yeah. Yeah. And I was, I was shocked that she said it. And I thought it was like, oh, this is like just must be across the country in third grade.

Everybody, like, did you have this Seth growing up? Did people say that? No, that's not when I had. Okay. It was a West Coast thing then. Yeah. It had nothing to do with style. Boy, she just said it and I was fucking thrilled when she did.

Oh, you did multiple burns. you had a comment early on where you said I always hate it talking about movies I always hate it when the sound doesn't look good did I say that? You can't look at the sound

so that was that's kind of a very jackalish corrections based comment you guys I'm still on drugs like just like you know I'm on 1800 now Gabbyn I don't have any real excuses

there were a lot of comments in the YouTube section of your interview where you talked about a lot about painkillers and like just people being like, hey man, just like, look out. So I do, I do want to stress to everybody that when we talk about that, Yorne takes this very seriously. Okay. Yeah.

Hey, I did not know this because, you know, I don't, I'm not like into the gossip mags. I'm not into the like the private life of our nation's celebrities. Oh. Quedo got married. Oh my gosh. That's a, that's shocking. Congratulations, Quito. Yeah.

Congratulations to Quato indeed. Quato got married at intimate, but also star-studded. You feel like one of us would have made the cut, but I'm going to say I'm a little surprised that all four of us weren't invited. I'm just relieved for Keev based on all the sort of non-work-related meals. Liz was having with Quaid that he's now off the market. Thank God. Oh, my God.

Yeah, it was far too close. But just real congratulations to Quato and his wife, Claudia, his new wife, Claudia, into their intimate star-studded. It was in Australia, so I guess we should probably be. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't have made it. I liked a picture that they had a giant mac and cheese cake, you know? One would think. Yeah.

I mean, maybe that's why they didn't invite one of us as they were worried. We would try to push mac and cheese as a part of the wedding. Oh, a lot of people said that maybe Andy and I didn't join last week's pod because we were so jealous at how good your movie was. And we didn't want to sit there and have to listen to you get praise. I want to assure people we're both very happy and proud of you for how good your. movie wise. I don't think that that's a problem. Although, I will say after McGurber, though, after the screening that I did of McGurber for SNL that we did at the Soho House in Manhattan, that was the nicest comment that I got was that Andy looked at me and angrily was like,

I made me really jealous. And I was like, wow, that's by far the highest praise you can get from a friend. A lot of our international viewers are upset that your movie's not opened internationally yet. Oh. So a lot of international quads are looking forward to it.

Okay. We established two weeks ago that British members of quid army are called quids. I heard from a few British listeners that they are very happy

with quids. Some of the S&O UK people are like we sign off. We love it. I can't wait to have somebody yell a quid army.

Two comments based on that. Someone said, who's a quid, got a quulp to get a UK release on Yorm's movie? I like that.

Yeah, that's great. And then I'm interested to see. I don't know if this is, I've an Australian person wrote this or someone who has maybe a negative take on Australian people, but it is like music, so I'm just going to read it. So if Americans are quids in the UK or quids, does that mean Aussies or quants?

I feel like you don't have to bleep that. This is just eating itself so hard. There's more, there's one new slang word that we're going to add to. our dictionary. Job, JAWB has been suggested

as a faster way to say, Jeremy Allen, Whitebody. Job. Yorpe got that job. I got to work on that job.

Yorm got that job. Where's Yoram? He's in the gym getting that job. Oh, great. Thank you guys. That'll be easier for talking my way.

Support comes from Willie's Remedy A. Yorm. Hi. You know what Willie I'm talking about? I know exactly who you're talking about, Seth, big time. Sing one line from his song. Oh, I'm Willie Nelson, and this is the song I'm singing, right?

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right? Oh, I think it's even less, honestly, and you do not need much of it. It's like it's a nice little mixer. Yes. I've had both bottles. I'm sure you've tried it as well, Seth, and it's great. I do, and I've enjoyed it. I've found the buzz delightful. Yeah. And the absence of hangovers even more delightful. Oh, as you age, man. They're like, Willys, willies it up because, yeah, like the alternative is real crappy. Also, as you age, it's very nice to have a low calorie, low sugar alcohol alternative that actually works because I'll tell you this, sometimes there'll be a night where if I'm not drinking, I'll have a mocktail and that has so much sugar, it's like almost worse than a hangover.

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So we're going to do some Q&A stuff today, but it was very interesting because we got two stories that were sent in. One's unique to you and one's unique to me. Okay. And we'll do yours first, and then we get to mine. I'm just going to say that mine is a recent story that I actually had before the story was sent to me via Jeff, our producer.

I had this in my notes to address with you. Something happened that I wanted to talk about and then an incredible like stroke of luck. The other side of this interaction wrote a story in. So great. Very happy about that. But also, this was one other thing. It was pulled out by multiple people that there was a real, wait, what do they call it? A snorm.

No, sorry. Yeah. A snorm, which is a yorm snort. Oh, I did it. Here's an honest one. This is not a forced one. This was at 2955. watching you can we hear it real quick yeah i got you

jesus christ you have you had that cued up i had a cute up we got that said i want to get one of those little keyboards where i can press that button oh yeah yeah yeah sounds good um two suggestions for how to say hit us in the titus to our british listeners yeah one was a strike it's mine breasticle so that seemed a little overworked okay i don't know about that and then uh the other one was uh punt us in the fissus Yeah, really good. Maybe we'll set that up. I think you can do polls in the YouTube comments.

So maybe under the YouTube comments, Jeff, we can have a poll for whether people prefer, whether are British, whether our quids like, strike with mine brasticles or punt us in. I mean, here's the thing. Like, Seth, you and I getting to actually hang out IRL

the other night did make me really want to, I was like, fuck, we really got to like tour the podcast, like do the live, you know, it's like all those other podcasts. Let's do that shit.

And that really makes me want to go to England. So in addition to it being almost impossible for us to get together for just this Zoom podcast, like, let's make it a goal to like go to England altogether. Well, let's do a lot. I mean, doing a live Lonely Island pod in England. I mean, that's how we do. Yes. It would be the best.

Fantastic. Probably Wembley. Yeah, the O2. Yeah, I think Wambly. Straight to O2. All right. There's a three sort of longer mail that I want. want to go through today. Okay. The first one's from Laura. And, uh, this is really fun.

Laura, Hey, buddies. Today I had the great honor of reaching out to an old friend to inform her that you were playing her. I think I might have killed the president fan video on the pod. Oh. Needless to say, she was shocked and thrilled that her creation was resurrected when Aaron uploaded that video two decades ago. We were both part of a lively, live journal community of what I assume was mostly fellow college aid, Lonely Island fan girls. I sincerely hope you guys realize just how much pure joy brings us longtime quades and SNO fans to be able to hear your recollections on the pods every week. It is worth the countless hours you've spent trying to coordinate schedules and recording Viori ads, I promise.

Oh, nice, Viori getting a comment. Yeah. That's a little extra for their ad scratch to comment in an 11th. You're welcome. For a split second at the end of this episode, I thought my own 20-year-old Magnum Opus might make an appearance as well, but alas, it did not. Mine was an artie party kid Icarus remix fan video, which I was very proud of. And I feel like we should just maybe try to watch that now.

Yeah, let's do it. Oh my God, this is going to be crazy. The rhythm of the streets. Streets, Streets, Streets, Streets. Perfecto! I mean, it really is amazing that you guys made enough work that a fan could just cut that work together to make a video for a song you didn't make a video for.

It's amazing how much stuff I had forgotten that we did. It's really, it's very... I mean, this is Cal Penn showing up in this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And by the way, great footage of Artie flailing his arms around. He did a lot of floppy dancing back in the day, too. It is definitely a reminder that you wrote Artie Party based on images about Andy that had pre-existed, the writing of the song.

Yeah, just his Muppet nature was... Yeah. It's very hard for Andy to take offense at the song Artie Party when, like, there was just enough video of him in the world. that they could fully cut one to this. It's very good. Thank you, Laura. It's very good. That's very fun.

Check that out, everybody. 1.4 million views on YouTube. Pretty good. Oh, this is Laura's final comment. When I met my husband in 2009, and he found out I was a diehard SNL fan. He tried to impress me by letting me know that Adam Sandberg was part of a comedy group

called the Lonely Island. I sighed and shook my head. But they've been watching SNL together every week and indoctrinating their eight-year-old. So, Laura, thank you for that. Thank you for your Artie Party video that everybody should watch online. Dem clicks. It's $1.4 million, which I mean it's, I think it means it's crushing buger man.

Give it that quamp. Come on and give it that quump. Yeah, like we can quom. You can quomp outside of the actual Lonely Island. Yeah, quop it up. Fantastic. Was that the story that you wanted to do? No.

Separate from. Okay, gotcha. All right. Here's the story. Okay. It's from Teresa. Are you ready? I'm so ready.

I can't wait. Teresa, hi. Hi, Lonely Island and Seth, but mostly Yorama. I'm sure Yoramah has absolutely no recollection of this, but back in 2008, he very graciously agreed to talk to me and a group of my high school friends about his experience on SNL while visiting his in-laws in the bay for Thanksgiving. The only thing I'll say so far is I had no idea. That's where you were from. All right, here we go. Yorma's mother-in-law was my art teacher growing up and a good friend of my mom.

I might remember this now. Oh, yes, definitely. And now I know what we're talking about. Between them, they decided it would be sweet for Yorma to chat with a handful of theater kids, S&L obsessives from the local East Bay Catholic High School. And you were wonderful. You talked thoughtfully about comedy and writing, answered all our painfully earnest questions, and then delivered the absolute p.s de resistance by saying,

do you guys want to see the first cut of a short that hasn't aired yet? Now, I have no idea why you had to cut that earlier if you broke any rules by showing it to us. But you pulled out your laptop and showed us not just any short, but what I now recognize as Criterion Collection shoe-in, jizz in my pants. Wow. Okay. Which, in retrospect, was an absolutely wild judgment call, a group of Catholic high schoolers, your mother-in-law, and my mom all gathered around a laptop in your in-law's home,

watching an unreleased, lonely island short about premature ejaculation. Okay, let me pause for it. I'll always remember your mother-in-law scolding you in disbelief, your mom, while you remain completely unflustered and invisibly proud of your work, as you should have been. I think about that after in your lot. Now, this is very, this is where, this story gets very sweet and very moving.

I just warn you. I've had the ability to prepare because I read it earlier. I think about that afternoon a lot because it's also such a vivid memory of my mom who passed away from breast cancer a few years later. She was a deeply funny woman in her own right and even asked your mother-in-law to send you her S&L sketch ideas until she was informed that she could theoretically sue Yorma if you ever used them. At which point she was told to chill out and stop. She always called you Yorm, long before the rest of her. of the world knew that was what true Quades called you. S&L and the Lonely Islands still make me think of my mom in the best way.

Grieving or really clarified for me how important comedy is, not just as escapism, but it's something that genuinely helps people survive hard things. We're living through a heavy moment in the world and the work you all do to bring joy, absurdity, and relief really matter. So thank you for that afternoon, for the laughs and for unknowingly being part of one of my favorite memories of my mom. And Yorne, if I'm burrito-braining and it wasn't jizzed my pants that you showed us, please don't correct me.

I've been carrying this version around for nearly two decades, and it's going great. Later, dudes, Teresa. I'm going to believe that it was just my pants for it. And yes, and her mom from Jump called me Yorm, which I really appreciated it. That's fantastic. And was that just because she had hurt other people?

No, I think she just felt comfortable with me, which has made me really happy. I have no problem with people call me Yorm from, if they feel comfortable, and it makes me feel very comfortable. Well, it's interesting because, oh, there was one other thing I wrote, because while you're on my show, we were talking about how you, like, your name, you've sort of become a Yorma, like that you become the personality of the name you have. I think you really do.

I think it's made me a much weirder person. And someone said, just for us, it's nomative determinism is the term for what we were discussing what did not have the name for. Nomitive determinism. I will say, like, naming my son Wiley, I was a little nervous because I was like, are we just, like, setting him up for, like, doing Kigsw? stands all the time. Like, here's wild. Like, you know, it's like, I don't know, it just sounds like a wild man kind of thing. Yeah. It could just be sly, though. Wait, Seth, do you know what other names your parents were debating calling you? I only know if I was a girl I was going to be Amanda. Amanda, okay, gotcha. I also will tell you that every single person until I reached S&L,

like all through, like college, starting college, and then in Amsterdam and then in Chicago, everybody calls me Suf, which was my nickname. And that always felt like, I've, always internally, since I got that nickname, felt more like a sous than a Seth. Oh, I like for what that, for what that counts. Yeah, that's a good vibe. My two names, like, what I was going to either be called Nick or Santos. Those are the two other names.

And then my middle name is Christopher, which, like, my parents gave me to fall back on in case my name was too weird. And then in high school, I don't know if I've told this story, but in high school, when I was 14, I came home and I was like, you guys know how much it costs to change your middle name? and they were like, what? I was like, it's $400. They were like, you tried to change your middle name.

And I was like, yeah, I went to like City Hall. And they were like, what did you try to change it to? I was like, McDuck. And they were like, you were going to change your middle name. So clearly I didn't need anything to fall back on. Yorma McDuck, DeCone. Yeah, yeah. Me and Mari, we were debating naming it like that was going to be our middle name.

And then we got married, we were thinking about calling it. Oh, yeah. You guys would have been a good couple for like, you know, not she took your name or you took her name, but just like we changed it to McDuck. Wait, did I tell you this story? Probably not. So up in Connecticut. You know like the vibe in Connecticut. Like there's a lot of people who have those like really nice house signs that are like wood carved that say like, you know, the family name or whatever.

And I told Mario, I was like, I was like, we should get one of those family name things. She was like, fuck, no fucking way. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, it's going to say the mcturds. And she was like, oh, that's fine. Which I was like, you know, like, when you're like, oh, I'm clearly in the right relationship. Yeah, I was like, I feel like that's, I don't know if Alexi would jump at, uh, mcturts. Well, here's how it backfired because it is on the front of our house. Oh, you did it.

Oh, yeah. I don't fuck around, dude. Yeah. Like, so, so one, all of our neighbors thought we moved or then they were. were like really nervous. They were like, is that their last name? It's the mcturgs? And then all of Wiley's friends up in Connecticut started calling me Mr. McDurd. And that's when it backfired a little bit on me because I didn't expect people to call me Mr. McTurd. I cannot believe you did not think half a move ahead. It's not even a half a move. It's like a quarter move.

You pull the prank on yourself and it went great. You know what? I'll put this in the show notes. Okay, good. The mcturids. Support comes from Hems. Hey, Yorm. Hi, Seth. You got better things to do than sit in a doctor's office

talking about your hairline. Like, for example, you need to be sitting in a doctor's office talking about why you still haven't got that vasectomy. Yes, that thing, yep, yeah, that's right. So since you can't be talking

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People thought we were wearing wigs. Oh. We just got, I got hair that is, I know, for men our age, you can't believe it. I think that's a nice compliment at wiggery. Yeah. Great. But if you're in a situation where you're concerned about hair loss treatment and you don't want to go to a doctor's office, Hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss

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Does not approve or verify for safety affecting this or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details restrictions and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monocidid. All right. So here was what I was going to tell you. then I'm going to read our, we got a really nice note. So I was on the train Friday. I picked the boys up to school, take the subway, go to Grand Central, get on the train. Beautiful day. And I got my one son has a friend on the train, so he's off with his friend. I'm chatting with that kid's dad. Axel's watching an iPad. And we all kind of, I mean, it's dad's fault, full dad's fault here. Classic. Kind of zoned out. And we realized we were at our stop. Now, again, this is a train, you know, they're not going to wait for you to get off. anything. And so immediately my kids, and again, I own this dad's fault, but they're not helpful. Axel's

like folding up the iPad and then he's like, actually, you get it. And then he runs to the door. I put my iPad in my backpack and then I put my backpack on. The iPad falls out because I didn't zip it. So I pick up an iPad and I'm just like super flustered. And actually a guy reaches over and like hands me the iPad. And I take it. And I go, thanks, man. And then he goes, Quaid Army. Now this guy's been sitting across for me for a while. And it's just like very funny, like in this moment. And I'm like, righteous kill. And then I go to walk out. And then my son's like, I'll carry my own backpack. And I'm like, fuck, your backpacks. And again, now this is too long to be at a station on a commuter rail. So now I'm doubling back to get the backpacks. I pick up both kids' backpacks. A thousand coins fall out of one of my kids'

backpacks. Like, I don't even know where he got the coins. Like, it seems like more coins than a kid could possibly have. But like, like, the amount of coins falling at a rate of somebody hitting a jackpot at a Vegas casino. Like, you can't believe it, you're like, lucky. And then this guy who now has like, quaid armied me is like, makes eye contact me looking and I've just like lost the plot. I'm like so, I'm so stressed. And then I just kind of run out.

And I was going to come on and apologize, basically say that like I deserve a demotion in quaid army for how badly I behave. And then as luck would have it, this dude actually wrote his take on it. Great. So that's my take. So here we go. It's from Theodore. First things first, I need to apologize to Seth.

I was equated on the train this Friday. I feel like I unintentionally threw him off his rhythm. First of all, Theodore, you did not. That was off my rhythm. I'm not one to bother people in the entertainment industry. I'm a lifelong New Yorker who believes in the credo. You lead people alone. Plus, I'm in my 50s and two neurotic.

You and me both, buddy. Yet, I had it in my mind that the only people I would say something to You were Conan O'Brien and any of the people associated with the Loneland podcast. I genuinely enjoyed the podcast. You're varied friendships and warmth towards each other. Comes across through on the show. I figured I would run into Yorma because we live in the same neighborhood in Brooklyn. His house is just a couple towns over from my house in Connecticut.

Plus, I also fell from 17 feet onto cement and shattered my leg at my ankle. So I figured we must share some cosmic goo. Anyway, this brings me to Friday. For the first hour and 20 minutes, I did not realize Seth was sitting across from me. I just thought it was some annoying guy he decided to bring. a freaking buffet on the train like it was his favorite stront. This is also true. I feed my kids on the train, Yoram.

They, I have to get pizza from two different places. And it's true. I have so much food. And he was, he's right. He's right to be, to be offended by that. This fucking guy. Yeah. Think of all the germs floating around on a computer train.

Yeah, but I don't. I got to clear it. Hey, when you're a dad, you got a dad at up. Then he wrote, there was a woman two seats. ahead of us who sounded like she was going to die of consumption. Do you remember? Dude, I totally do. This woman coughed so bad, Yoram, the guy sitting behind her

stood up and offered her water. Between her and your feast for the ages, I almost switched cars. I actually texted my wife to complain about this situation unfolding around me. Then I recognized with Seth. This is our text exchange.

Me, the annoying food guy, turns out to be Seth Myers. By the way, for all the kind things, Theodore says, like, it is really hammering home this, like, back of the head guilt that maybe everybody was like, that's too much food to have on the train. And now I know if it's. The really annoying food guy turns out to be Seth Meyer's wife, really? Yes, I'm thinking of saying something, Quaid Army. Wife, what the fuck are you talking about? Me. Total recall stuff. Wife. The movie, question mark, me. It's the name of the character from the movie. Wife. And this is

something you're supposed to say, question mark? Me. Look, we're getting off topic. Should I say something or not? Wife. I'm at work. explanation point. Me, fuck, he's getting up. It's now or never. A few minutes passed. Me, not sure that worked out for him. I think I spooked him. His eyes got real bad. Then he realized why my eyes got real big. Seth had almost forgotten a bag. And then when he went to grab it, pennies and nickels went everywhere. I looked out the window. I think I might have locked eyes with Seth and not in a good way. Totally not. I did not lock eyes at the good theater. I think I need to apologize for making his disembarkment more challenging.

Lastly, the old guy sitting in front grabbed all the change for himself. I mean, that's fantastic retail. I don't think I've ever in my life had a movie of myself from somebody else's point of view. Relay so perfectly. I've mentioned this so many times people like, I would love if on your deathbed you got to hear everything that has been talked about you from strangers. I'm just like, look at that damn shit. I mean, I'm really got to, I got to, firstly, I got to figure out how to not, not fully straunt the train. That's great. I mean, here's the thing, you're a dad. It's really

hard to be a dad. It's hard to be a dad and it's, it's hard to feed you kids. There's the other thing, which is, I feel like my wife thinks the train is like this super chill two hours. Like, yeah. It's just like them on an iPad with like headphones and a, splitter, fighting about what they want to watch. Neither of them will, like, eat their own fucking pizza. I'm feeding it to them, like, their birds. Yeah. Sucks.

Oh, man. Like, they're just zombies. Like, you know what? What's it? A little cheat code for parents out there? Carrots, I feel like, are very easy. You just pop them in their hands, and there's something about a carrot. Like, when they're watching TV, they just eat carrots.

I don't know. At least my kids do. I'm going to get the line wrong, but I went, Alexi and I went and saw this play called Fallen Angels on Broadway. and it's an old... Oh, that's classy. Oh, you know it? Or you just mean it's...

No, Broadway's classy to go to. Bro. That's classy. Broadway is classy. But we went because Rose Byrne is going to be on my show, and she's in this production. And Kelly O'Hara is in this production. And we heard it was really funny. It was so fucking funny.

I mean, written almost 100 years ago. I love that about comedy. Like, when something's... like a hundred years old and you're like, it is equally funny to anything that has been written today. I often think about like, there had to be like really sarcastic people back in the day, like Jesus is era. There had to be like pretty sarcastic people around too, right? Like, yeah. It's not like sarcasm was like invented and like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, it is a hundred years ago, 1925 it was written. And it is, it's so funny. Rose and Kelly

are so funny. And they get progress. aggressively drunker over the course of this one-act play. And this is what made me think of it. They are trying, every time the maid comes out to serve them, they try to change the subject because they think the maid is eavesdropping. So they just have to come up with things to say to kill time while she's clearing the plate. And one of them says, I've heard the worst part of parenting is the children.

Just like, yep, that is as funny now. You know what's really funny about that is that like we would do that for, Harrod, I remember like entering a scene with, like, when we were doing that high five bit where like it's just Rico. Danny McGuire's character just high-fiving us over and over and over again. But that sort of thing of like entering a conversation where you're like, what was going on before this? Well, that was, I mean, not to bring it back to your movie, but there's a great moment where you hear a line and then there's a flashback to explain why Tim's character would say that Tim Oliphon's character. And do you know that that was actually Tim's idea? I only know it from, was it last week's podcast?

Did you say it? Or did I hear you say it on something? Yeah, I probably said it a lot. I've been saying a lot of the same thing for last. I can't believe how many of these screenings you've done. You've done an incredible job. Yeah, thank you. But there you go.

You know, it's just Yoram and I hanging out. Yeah. Finally. Got rid of the Rivrav. Finally. I was, you know, again, I said it when I, about times. It was also really just kind of fun to see you in person eight months after your fall, see how robust you're doing.

It's so crazy because the movie actually came out yesterday, and that was exactly eight months since my fall, which is, yeah. And then throwing out the pitch yesterday. You've been texting with Lauren Michaels based solely on the way he's sitting on the Lorne documentary poster. Yeah. Everybody Google the documentary, the Lorne poster. And you texted him, is that how you used to really sit?

Yeah, I did. I was trying to annoy him. And then we met in the hotel lobby to go to your screening, and I saw the poster was on the wall. So I sat underneath the poster exactly the way he's sitting in the poster. Can we put this in the show notes? Yeah, I think we put it in the show notes. And then you texted it to Lauren and said you just came across me sitting like that. I think Lauren appreciated it.

I think Lauren does too. I should know, Lauren is responding to these texts. Oh, yeah. Dryly, but with, I think, appreciation. Yeah, he's a very dry dude. No, you never get an L-O-L from. You threw out the first pitch at the Betts game. Yeah, yeah, I didn't do it well.

Did you see it? No. I was, I would just check it. Something to you right? No, it's more of a lob. I don't know if I would call it a throw. I wouldn't call it a pitch, but it was more of a lot. But I really, I was more committed to the celebration afterwards,

and I wish I had gone on for like a full minute of celebrating how great I thought I had done, yeah. But it was really fun. It was my whole family game, and it was a good time. Did they play anything on like the screen, the Jumbotron, like to be like Yorm work or anything? No, no. They like they played Turtle Nike and Chain as my walk-up music because they refused to play dick in a box, which I didn't really understand because, yeah, it would have been nice. I was going to do the walk-up music for Diaz, which is this Timmy trumpet song. Oh, right.

As if I was going to throw some gas. Yeah. But yeah, like so Turtle Nike and Chain and, you know, it was a really nice time. I guess because Diaz doesn't pitch for them anymore and they're having a bad season, they were like, that might not be the best vibes. Not as a reminder. Yeah. Well, so in the end, this really wasn't a Q&A. It was sort of three great stories and we appreciate all of them.

And we appreciate Andy and Keith, even though they're not, they're the third and fourth sweetest sweetie pies on the pod. Yes. By the way, while this has been going on, Keith has been texting the chat that he thinks that's fucking bullshit. Oh, can we talk about what Keeves doing, though, and how happy it makes me? Because I think Keeves camping. Oh, right. I just love picturing Keeves camping. Because here's the other thing that I love picturing about Keev.

Keev has a dog, which is also hilarious to me. Right. Like, very funny. He was calling it Liz's dog for a little time. I think he still does. And then the other thing, there's just certain things that Keev does. And I'm like, yes! It was like seeing pictures of Keev at,

Liz's, like, family's, like, Christmas celebrations where he's wearing, he's wearing a Santa hat and being forced to, like, sing Christmas girls. And just, oh, it makes me so happy thinking about, like, just, oh, so great. Yeah, they're, the Kikowskis are, like, real salt to the earth. Like, Americana people. They're not your fucking Bay Area weirdos where it's like. Not a bunch of communists. You're like, Santa Claus is the kleptocracy.

Oh, one thing I also, I'm just looking at the one other thing on the chain that went off on the, should we call our podcast chain the turtleneck and chain? Oh, that's great. Yeah, the turtleneck and I got a box sent to my office. Okay. It was addressed to Seth Quaid, so that's how I knew. And that's how I knew. And it was just a bottle of sparkling apple juice, which I thought was really nice.

That's great. That's great. Oh, man. So whoever that was from. Just know it was received and it delighted us. All right, Yorne, lovely to see you again. Seeing you in person was a delight. And we're just one day closer to the four of us getting together in person.

Oh, my gosh. Having a proper meal. And going to England. All right, enjoy camping, Keeve. Enjoy whatever bullshit you're on, Andy. I asked him for a voice note about whether he got to be today. I will assume the fact that we did not receive one. Be quibed.

Means that he is failing. And love you, Yorm. Love you too, Seth. Jokes on you, Seth, you piece of human dog shit. Because I came in at the 11th hour right before release of the pot to let you know I did not get Queen Bee. But I'm also not done yet, so I still might get it. It's one of those really unsatisfying chime ins. But anyways, I wonder what you guys talked about on this app.

I wouldn't know because I don't listen to podcasts. All right. shout out, shout out Quaid Army. And I love you guys. Do you want to try? Oh, yeah. Take it away, Arnold. Nope, wait, wait, wait.

Later, Arnold. Later, Arnold. Later, Arnold. Later, Quades.