The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Listener Q&A Episode 9 | The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast Episode 91

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

This week on The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast, Seth is gone. The guy are answering some of your emails. From Quaid Army Patches to whether or not the ads are good or bad, it’s a real shaggy... ep. Have a good holiday! Send us an email: thelonelyislandpod@gmail.comSend us a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/thelonelyislandSend us stuff: P.O. Box 4024New York, NY 10185Photos and everything else can be found by following us on Instagram @lonelymeyerspod VuoriGet 20% off your FIRST purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at https://vuori.com/ISLANDAG1Head to https://drinkag1.com/island you’ll get the welcome kit, a Morning Person hat, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, a AG1 Flavor Sampler and you’ll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free. Wonderful PistachiosGrab a bag today. https://www.wonderfulpistachios.comRulaConnect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/island #rulapod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's the lonely island and Seth Myers podcast. I wanted to just start off by saying I haven't listened to the last episode. I sent in a voice note. Since then, I did rewatch Cherry Battle. And? I thought it was really good. It was super fun. Doesn't stay too long.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Has a couple of quick little turns and gets out. And there's the funny little singing Cherry. It's a little easy guy. Yeah. An easy guy is a perfect way to put it. That's an easy guy. And we got a nice text from John Hamm, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Yeah, he said it was his favorite one all time, right? This is a quote. For me, it's the best. Like Tucker said, this is now a quote within a quote, you guys had some tricks left in the bag, made me crack up hard when I saw it. So, yeah, he's saying it's criterion. Oh, did you tell the story of how Tucker said that to us after the show? I did.
Starting point is 00:00:54 I remember that. And I remember, I basically phrased it that that's kind of what solidified it in my head as something I was proud of. Oh, great. I also, I really like my little cherry guy, too. I thought I did a really good job going, like that. And you still got it. Still got it.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Yep, thank you. Is that the sound you made when you fell off the ladder? I so wish. When we were talking about, like, what happens in a tragedy, and we were like, I guess this is who I am as a person. I wish that's exactly what I said. Oh, Ah!
Starting point is 00:01:31 Yorm, do you remember, did you do a yell? Was it like a, no! Or something like that? Oh, for sure. When you hit the ground or in the air, was there sound? The minute I hit the ground, I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, give me a fucking email. And it was like 10 minutes of me saying,
Starting point is 00:01:47 get me a fucking email. But you didn't scream during the fall. It just happened. I don't think, no, I didn't. That would have been cool if I had like a cartoon, been like, If you were like, hit, let's fucking go, like that. That would have been amazing.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Kevin wants us to go less than 10 minutes before we say, Seth isn't here, guys. Well, guess what? I'm not going to do it, and Kevin can go to hell and bird and hell, which I believe it. Yeah, Kevin, get on here and take your licks. It's the Christmas season, and people are busy. But the reason he's not here, I don't think it's a spoiler to say, because we're excited.
Starting point is 00:02:25 We haven't heard it. But the Criterion episode, part two, has been recorded without us with, is it, it's not a spoiler. This is, um, teasing it. He's recorded it's Lynn Manuel Miranda and Amir Quest Love Thompson. And we're very excited to hear what they chose. Two greats. Two greats. Let's see if we agree with their, see if their opinions are as great as their legends.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Speaking of people saying, let's fucking go, when falling off a ladder, I had some, um, a small, rat problem in the garage and there were lots of little it was one of those things where I just went out there one day and was like what are that what am I looking at luckily I didn't touch them with my hand but it turned out it was rat poop and like little twigs and nuts and stuff so it was like nesting
Starting point is 00:03:11 and pooping everywhere oh there we go that's good let that play that's my rat music okay it's actually my food okay I'll be right back so just to be clear Yorm ordered food to be delivered during the podcast record. So he can be chewing during the pod.
Starting point is 00:03:29 During the podcast record. Yeah. No, it's just, that's just good thought-out stuff, you know? Hey, this pod is woven into our daily lives at this point. It's really nice. Oh, yeah. That's nicely said, actually. So, Keeve, did you hear the voice note I sent in?
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah. And did you feel like it was... I didn't hear it when it was cut in, so I don't know what context it fell into our pod, but I listened to it. Got it. And you felt like we had the same memory of everything? Yeah. We both remembered the car ride that it was like right when we were getting out of the car. You know, the only difference is, Andy, the way you phrased it sounded like we took the car to the same location and both went home. But I think I was hopping out and you were still in. And the driver had to kind of sit there while we talked and then you had to drive home.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Correct. Are you still talking about rats? It's not important, but it was a distinction. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you would get out on 10th Street and I would go to Grove. Exactly. Grove. We can say it now. We don't live there anymore. Where the friend's exterior is. You said, I just. need to live as close to the friend's exterior as possible. And you nailed it, man.
Starting point is 00:04:26 You were across the street. That's right, right about a little owl. Yeah. And I wanted to be, of course, closer to Carrie Bradshaw. And I got there, but I was like two blocks off. Oh, I thought you were going to say the Lazy Sunday building. I wanted to, yeah, and I nailed it. I got the very, I got the bedroom.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Not only the front stoop, I got the bedroom from it. So sick. So sick, bro. No, you're my idea. I stopped my story because it was a let's fucking go. So this guy came, he set some rat traps, he cleaned it up. Yeah, I think I know where this is said. Then, like, four days later, one of them caught it.
Starting point is 00:04:57 And I was like, oh, God. And I saw it was really, it wasn't grotesque or I think. It just looked like the rat was just frozen. It was like it was just stopped there. And it was not something I wanted to see. I felt bad for the rat immediately. But there is, like, germs involved. Anyways, I didn't know how I ethically felt about any of it.
Starting point is 00:05:12 I called him. He came. I said, oh, it's in there. He's like, oh, we got one? And then he went over. And when he looked at it, he was like, cool! Oh my gosh That's a guy who likes his job
Starting point is 00:05:27 That's nice The way you teed it up I was a hundred and ten percent sure He was gonna say let's fucking go It had to be No It had to be Nope
Starting point is 00:05:36 He did later He did later He did later He did But the cool was the first Most important And he meant it He meant she wasn't being
Starting point is 00:05:44 He was like Oh cool Oh Nito It works It was like It was like Aniz character Had just walked in
Starting point is 00:05:51 As an exterminator You're like, yeah, I guess. He's like, oh, you don't understand. It never works. This one never works. That's what I mean. He's like, I sent them all over town hoping for this moment. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:06:02 But the fact that he could get, yeah, he loved his job. I love that. Keith, did we talk about, just because I still love this, did we talk about when you had the snake problem on the show? And Keith was saying that he had a snake guy, and I was just starting to do the impression of. He was putting up snake fence. This is the snake guy. Well, we'd be in the studio recording songs for Popstar.
Starting point is 00:06:26 And my phone would ring and I'd be like, oh, shit, I got to get it. It's my snake guy. And you guys were like, hello, Akiba. Who's the snake guy? The snake guy. Do you have ten minutes to talk? He wasn't half snake. He was just putting up some snake fencing.
Starting point is 00:06:45 He was the guy who dealt with snakes. He wasn't a snake. He was in slithering. It's one of the main reasons you also don't want rodents. Because if there's rodents, that's snake food. then the snakes come. But, like, it's known that a snake man is what you call a half snake, half person. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Or, or a snake guy? Yeah. Or snake guy, like the Marvel comic? You don't think a snake guy would be, like, a just laid back man? Like, who is half snake? I don't think they were to, I just don't think anyone would ever see a half human man, half snake and go, it's a snake guy. I don't know about that.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Who would win guy? Spider man or snake guy? There's no guy. Okay. I have a snake guy. exists, Andy. Now you're just getting weird. No, no, no, no. That guy exists. And he should be called a snake guy. You did nothing wrong. I'm just saying... I think that, Andy, to answer your question, and to answer your question seriously about that of Spider-Man versus snake guy, it depends. Because I think that if it's in a contest of who can relax more,
Starting point is 00:07:40 I think a snake guy is going to win that contest. You know? Yeah. And that's a pretty common contest to have when you're talking about people verse each other. Also, Akiva asked the question, you are off the rails. You need to quit. I, you know what? No. fucking way. Wait, so, wait, he did say let's fucking go. It's less interesting, but it's similar in these enthusiasm, which is that he had come the month before, because there had been some ants. He had found a paving stone on the grass in the backyard that he had lifted up, and he's
Starting point is 00:08:07 like, I think I found the colony, and I just dumped a bunch of liquid down there. Well, let's see. And as of a day after it, I never saw another ant in the house. And he asked about it. He said, what about the ants? And I was like, haven't seen him since you found that colony. He was like, let's fucking go. Yeah, yeah. It's out of control. That's fucking goes out of control. This is our stand-up, collective stand-up now.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Yes. Well, actually, I don't know if he used that for it on it. He probably just said, let's go. It wouldn't be professional. I don't want to sell them. We would do a short about it now. It would cut around. You'd show like a doctor pulling a baby out during a birth. Yes, it's reached. It's reached everybody. Yeah. What's another example of where it would happen? Well, somebody said that to me today while driving in Brooklyn, but I don't think that they meant it like it was fun. Like it was like... They were like, you're going too slow. It's anywhere stuffy, like a ballet or like someone's hitting a bunch of like moves.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Yeah, because he also yelled, fucking drive right after that too. So he meant it in a different way. What's funny is that he was crossing the street and wanting me to drive, but I had the light. Where I was like, dude, you're you're illegally crossing that. Like, he screamed it at me too. When Keeve says it at the ballet, though, he's talking to his wife saying like, let's fucking go. Yeah, yeah. I'm not cultured.
Starting point is 00:09:22 It's because she just said, let's go get some Doritos. Yeah, let's go get some fucking Doritos. No, it's because she said, you want to go home and do it? And then I said, you're like, oh, let's focus go. You said it the other way, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:09:34 It would be pretty good in traffic to yell at somebody that's not moving, but yell it the way as you're a positive way. Yeah, like they're not going. You're like, hong, hog, hong, hong, hong, let's fucking go. And they're like, wait, what do you want me to do? Like, you're celebrating the fact that I was texting. at the red light that's weird yeah okay okay speaking of that i have always wanted to do this as a bit have i talked about this on the show probably the pay it forward bit this is kind of the opposite of the i think you should leave sketch where it would be a pay it forward bit where you pay for someone
Starting point is 00:10:05 behind you like going onto a bridge and then when they drive up next to you then you flip them off super hard and like so that you're left with just like why don't know how they feel for it yeah like that guy hates me but took my money Money. He's like, no, I did. Let me say, if that happened to me, my takeaway would be... Yeah, what?
Starting point is 00:10:26 They just bought a free getting to flip me off. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's exactly what it would be. Yeah. If I had done it to you and you saw me, that's what it would be. God. So you're right.
Starting point is 00:10:37 I mean, if someone did that to me, I would laugh very hard, obviously. You didn't be confused for like a half hour. It's a great one. It's a good. You should actually try it out, although... Not in New York, though. Yeah. Anyways.
Starting point is 00:10:50 All right. So what are we talking about, guys? Dude, well, so we don't have Seth. They did Criterion. We haven't heard it so we can't reply. Also, it's not going to air till after this. It's not going to air? Air. Post? It's not going to post. Okay, I guess this guy is running a movie studio. Go see a dinosaur. A movie studio? Movies don't air.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Theaters are dead. You could have said like a network TV or a radio station. I'm about to stream Avatar 3 on my phone. The way it was meant to be seen. I don't think that made any sense. Yeah, more like my Apple Watch. What else is smaller, Yorm? Now, that's it.
Starting point is 00:11:28 That's the smallest. Okay. All right, I do have a bunch of questions since we're just fucking around here. Where's the burrito from, Yorm? Bodies, buddies, burritos. I love the way the guy says it. He says, hello, buddies. You call him in order, like old school style?
Starting point is 00:11:43 One, I do call him. I didn't call him, though, this time this was just a regular order. And I'm sorry that it got here. well i shouldn't be eating this is disgusting i'm sorry i'm gonna oh really no that's not why i brought it up is my mic hot enough for you yeah we only have one hour in this the whole week but by all means it disgust us all in the ear holes with your burrito gunk i thought it was gonna come earlier i thought he's pretty laid back he's he's a brito guy he's more of a brito guy he's not he's not a burrito man a brito man would be on fucking time when it says six
Starting point is 00:12:18 he would be here at 6.40. Right. A burrito guy fucking chilling. You never know what you're going to get. I think maybe you got your burrito made by a snake guy is what happened. Snake guy. Remember, remember karate guy guys? I like to kick it.
Starting point is 00:12:34 I'm a burrito guy. Kiyah. Chop, chop. Yum. Oh, so good. I think karate guy is easily my favorite of our songs. It's definitely our best song. Hit us in the titus.
Starting point is 00:12:46 The verses of karate guy are. very funny and I stand by it and I like them. And we'll do it. Yeah, we'll do an episode on it. It's definitely our best and most popular song. That's all I'm saying. People are always quoting about the backwards logic like backing into
Starting point is 00:13:01 do you remember what the verses are any? They're all just like, being in a cowboy. When I say kick it, yeah. I don't mean yeah, I mean chilling, but it doesn't have to be cold it can be any temperature. Yeah. 60 or 80. God, like brain dead
Starting point is 00:13:20 It's frustrating It's just saying one thing And then backtracking Trying to explain it the entire time I wonder if there's any karate studios That have played that to like motivate people Probably not, I would guess It's a missed opportunity
Starting point is 00:13:31 Oh, I haven't been on since I Finally saw the show Ha Ha You Clowns. Have you guys seen it? Keeve, I know you have Yeah, yeah, I've seen them all now All the ones that are out Yorm You're gonna love it, Y'am
Starting point is 00:13:42 Yeah, highly recommend Anyone out there who is a comedy person It's an adult swim It's on HBO app. It's an adult swim. It's 10 minutes long. I won't say anything more. Yeah, yeah, great.
Starting point is 00:13:52 There's only nine of them so far. Spectacular. Why don't we talk about it next week now that we'll have given Yorm and the quads a moment to catch up? Perfect. And then we talk about it the whole app while Seth stares at us. Great. What do you think Questlove said? Do you think he said that Cherry Battles is his favorite of all of them?
Starting point is 00:14:12 I kind of feel like, no. That surprised me a lot that Ham was as as geeky. on it. I mean, I think it's great, but... Here's a question about their criterion that we'll learn when the Quades learn is, do you think they went just from the Mike Sure Tapper episode, the next chunk? Or did they do all from the start up to there? Like, did they relitigate the ones from the beginning? Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Kevin, you can tell us. Next chunk. Or Jeff. He wrote Next chunk. Oh, he wrote it. Sorry where they picked up to... They didn't talk any shit about the previous guys. That he meant, like, get to the next chunk.
Starting point is 00:14:44 You fucking... Next chunk, please Next chunk Move on, next chunk Or he's saying One of us is going to play The Next Chunk in the Gooney sequel I would bulk up for that
Starting point is 00:14:55 He's like, looking at you, you're the next chunk You know we always talk about On this pod We're always talking in chunks We're like, oh, then we'll do a chunk on Cherry Battle Then we can do a chunk on Q&A's
Starting point is 00:15:07 Check it up Okay, we did Snake Guy That's a chunk Remember when we did the chunk On Winter Soldier? A perfect pod episode is six chunks It took us a while to figure it out But then we figured out a podcast episode
Starting point is 00:15:22 It made a six distinct chunks I'll be honest I know that one was eight chunks But it still worked for me That's what's so crazy about I was listening to Good Hang The Polar podcast And it was like the chunks were all over the place
Starting point is 00:15:37 And I was like you can't do that I do not listen to podcasts, so I didn't really get that reference. You've been on it, so I know you do. I'll have to take your word for that. You just thought you were just having a good time. He's only on podcasts. I mean, she's my friend.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Is that what you mean? She's my friend. And you thought she was just recording your conversation? Yeah, I mean, for posterity. Is that what that means? Yeah. She was like, I just want to get this down. I just want to remember you.
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Starting point is 00:18:25 Oh, tell me about it. These are germ factories, is what you're getting at, right? Heading into the holidays, it can be hard to maintain a balanced diet and give your body the nutrients it needs. It's true, and it's so cold out. You need to have a robust multivitamin. That's what you always tell me, right? Yes. And I have trouble swallowing pills, so I like a drink, right?
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Starting point is 00:20:38 All right. If they hear what you got, they leave. Then they don't hear the ads. Jeff, how many ads do we do? Because we never hear it with the ads. And then in this Q&A doc, you gave me, you gave me somebody complaining that there's too many ads. Yeah, we get a lot of complaints about the ads, but we don't do that many. Do about like four an episode, usually?
Starting point is 00:20:58 Four ads or four breaks? It's usually two breaks with two ads in each. Sometimes we'll do up to three ads and a break. That's not that after. So question, did that comment come from YouTube? Does YouTube ads end up compounding because there's the ads in the podcast and then the YouTube ads? That is correct on YouTube, yes, but we don't control the YouTube ads. Did that comment come from YouTube?
Starting point is 00:21:19 That came from the email. I don't know where that person listens. Oh, where they listen. But I bet you it's that. I bet you that we're getting double ads on the YouTube ones. Just to be clear, we do not consider the ads a chunk. Definitely not. Yeah, our six parts does not include the ads.
Starting point is 00:21:34 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I also just want to point out, Yoram took more bites of his burrito. I did, but I was doing it while Kiva was wasting time talking about fucking ads. Wasting time? I'm not wasting time. I was trying to, there's a quade. First off, we love our quads. For someone who claims to care about Quaid Army, Yorm, that was pretty fucking cold, dude.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Yeah. We love our quads. We do it all for them. Yeah. And the ad money is negligible. It is. Let's see here. He's not wrong.
Starting point is 00:22:06 We'd have better luck buying a bunch of scratchers. Guys, how about that power ball? It's up to like 1.2. You guys get a ticket? One to Billy? Yeah. I do like getting involved when it's up that high, but no. I meant to buy one today because it sends my kids into like a fantasy land for a few days before.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Oh, yeah. It's like just like you could buy an island of candy. Yeah, they're just like, wait, this piece of paper could be worth that much money. And they just thought, well, we wouldn't get rid of our house. We'd just get another house, right? They're thinking it all through They just immediately go to all the crap I'm like well first thing we'd have to do is they always make you take a photo
Starting point is 00:22:40 So we'd all have to hire a film prosthetics guy To give us all disguises Because I explained to them how people that win the lottery get targeted Right That's what you do So I start making it kind of like more of a nightmare scenario I'm like also you lose drive You don't understand what to do with your life anymore
Starting point is 00:22:57 Once we live in a capitalist society And it's so ingrained in you That if money gets taken completely off the table you float in a completely aimless way. Yeah. How do they take this? Because I don't think that this is a joke that you said this to them.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Then I just hang the ticket in their bedroom so they have like kind of nightmares about it. Like a dream catcher. Like a reverse dream catcher. And then by the time the numbers are called they're hoping to lose. Gotcha. And then they celebrate the life they had all along.
Starting point is 00:23:21 You know what I say? I'm like, what is it at? 1.2 billion? Yeah, if you win that, then maybe you can pay for private school. Thank you, Andy. You're very welcome. I can't wait for your.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Can't wait for your Quibi special. Oh, Andy, we forgot to tell everybody that because he says Quibi so much, Quibi's back. Quimby's back. They want him to be the first special. Bro, if Quibi came back, I would do, how many of it would be like nine, ten minute chunks? I mean, Quibi's kind of the original chunks. I think they were five minutes. Were they ten?
Starting point is 00:23:52 Five? I think they were ten mostly. I don't know. I never, this is going to sound weird, but I never watched something on Quibi. I know I'm the weird guy. Hey, guys, James says, I'm. I'm an avid listener of the podcast, but it seems like there's been progressively more and more ads every week. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm pressing the skip button 40 times every episode.
Starting point is 00:24:12 I was listening to the Cherry Battle episode and thinking about how I was finally going to write and complain about it. But then Seth made the comment that you guys make a podcast with four hosts and it's half ads. At first, I felt vindicated that Seth acknowledged all the ads. Then I got irritated that you're self-aware and do it anyways. Thanks for making content that's 50% enter. Well, first off, I take umbrage because we put work into some of the ads to make them a little bit more entertaining than your average ad. But you wouldn't know that, James, because you skip them. We try. We do try. But we can try harder to make the ads funnier.
Starting point is 00:24:46 But anyways, we already addressed his complaint. So, you know, fair enough. Yeah. No, no, no. I mean, it makes me feel bad. I'll say that. Let's just say, James, I wrote my kids into them and you skip past them. You should look in the mirror, James. Think about what kind of person you want to be. You've already seen this key, but I wanted to pop this in. Wait, are you guys all reading the questions? I'm not reading. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:25:05 I've just popped in something I made today and sent to Chris Parnell and Matt Murray, who wrote the sketch in question. Oh, really good. So there's a movie out called Merv about a dog. And I got the poster and added the purve under it because Parnell used to do a sketch called. Zoe Dishinell and Charlie Cox and a rom-com. It's Christmasy. There's mistletoe above them. or above the dog
Starting point is 00:25:32 I choose to think in this rendition that mistletoe is the dog and he's got his head tilted and he's right in front of you clearly Merv's his name and it's Merv the Purve and he's like huh? Want to kiss?
Starting point is 00:25:43 Because there's mistletoe right above it. By the way that's describing a huge part of my life like my dog is definitely he's fagging the Perv but he's full on Perth yeah maybe you should have named him Merv so anyways I sent that to
Starting point is 00:25:57 Parnell and Matt Murray and I said you guys sold out They wrote the Merv the Purve story And turned him into a dog And Panther said Matt Mary said Sold out, you have no idea How long it took Parnell
Starting point is 00:26:10 To get into that makeup Oh, it is Parnell And he's not just doing the voice He's is the dog Amazing Fucking Panther What a killer Can we get fucking Panther on the show?
Starting point is 00:26:22 Jesus Yes, Kevin, I agree Merv the Purve is one of my All-time favorite sketch theme songs I don't remember how it went Wait, yeah, sing it for us, please. It's love, it's a crazy roller coaster ride.
Starting point is 00:26:36 There's no jokes in it. Yeah, but he's Murf the Perth. It's like living and laughing and living life together. Merv the Perv, that's Merv the Perf. It's pretty much just that. Yeah, it's really good. It's like an 80s sitcom. It's something deep inside.
Starting point is 00:26:50 It feels like it's based on Threys Company almost because Threys Company is a very pervy theme song as well. I just couldn't, I just couldn't disagree more with what you just said. Your arm Oh It does it And it's not based on three's company Geez
Starting point is 00:27:04 Andy's got a little bit glassy-eyed He's really Like his is hers and hers And his Three's company too Like you don't think
Starting point is 00:27:11 That line was Yeah it might be You very well It might be right I take back my anger That was so Yes Overwhelming that I started crying
Starting point is 00:27:19 Let's fucking Go Let's fucking Go You can only do it now Guys Conk-Kong Oh actually I was wrong
Starting point is 00:27:27 We do have One Wood Coffin left Let's fucking go! That was another example. All right, I have a cool photo. I'll just skip to the important part. This is from Laura. She's from the Bay,
Starting point is 00:27:37 and she made a patch for a Vietnam-era U.S. Army jacket that she has. Okay. And it's pretty cool. No diggedy-dove. Share screen. Oh, that is sick, bro.
Starting point is 00:27:48 That is really cool. Oh, it's a Quaid Army patch. It's a Quaid Army patch, and it's fully embroidered, which she told me how... Hold on. This is my design, hand-embroider with cotton floss on a Vietnam-era U.S. Army jacket.
Starting point is 00:28:02 So, yeah, so it's got six parts. It's almost like, what would you call it, like a coat of arms? Yeah, almost. Exactly. The things that represent us. And it's got a pirate flag for Jack Sparrow. It's got a boat. It's got a little cat that says click, click, pew, pew, pew.
Starting point is 00:28:16 It's got sushi. It's got cupcakes, and it's got the boxes. And it says Quaid Army, very lovely underneath. And then here's the whole jacket just so you can see. That is so sick. Whoa, what else is on it, though? I want to know what kind of company we're in. All right, yeah, what's she into here?
Starting point is 00:28:31 What else is in there? Yeah, cool spider web design. So it looks like the top is like a cornucopia of flowers. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Maybe a spider web. Maybe there's a little spider web. Yeah. And then this looks like a little kitten kind of one, like a button.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Yeah, this would make like a good tattoo. And this is like another spider web on a, going up to some sort of a tall redwood tree. Yeah, okay. I fucks with this. This one looks like it's one of the SS kind of arm bands. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was why I was saying, Zubin. Andy fucks with it.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Oh, wait, no, that's not what I said. All right, wait, I got another one you will to see it right here. That's so great. Yeah, that's beautiful work. Here's another, you know, Quaid Army out in the real world. Keith thought you might like this custom-made font-accurate license plate frame. What do you guys think? Criterion or copyright infringement?
Starting point is 00:29:16 Quaid Army for Life, Queen Be All You Can Be. P.S., my son thinks young fans should be called Quaidlings. Oh, strong or agree. So he blurt his license-paint number so we can't see it. But look how good that thing is. That's also safe. Really good. So that's the total recall font for Quaid Army.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Yeah. And then the Righteous Kill font for Righteous Kill. Oh, really good. Really good. What is this little hill with a little blue sun or an EKG? I'm not sure what those are. It could be an EKG. But it just looks good.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Maybe just a design choice. But lovely. You should sell those. That's great. Yeah. That's awesome. And give me the prophets. Sell them and give us the prophets.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Oh, that's Hamilton. Hamilton. You know that a woman named Julie just sent me. some pins that she made that were wonderful and the best one said ask me about my Razzie nomination so that's very good really really like that thank you she made a bunch of different ones I'll maybe I'll bring it down a little bit but yeah it's okay all right so I've got a section here on ideas on how we could keep the podcast going but I feel like that should have Seth yeah and maybe not have me yeah exactly although one of them's going for his burrito sorry yeah yeah shout out
Starting point is 00:30:27 Piggy. One really stuck out to me, which was an NYPD Blue rewatch podcast. I kind of thought that might be good, where if it's all of us and all our homework assignment is, they're probably 42 minutes, 45 max. Every week, we just have to make sure we each have watched it. And we're like, all right, we're on season one, episode four of NYPD Blue. What happened this week, guys? And we just talk about what happened on that week's episode NYPD. It might be unbearable for us, but it sounds really funny. It sounds like very, very funny. It's a good performance art, if nothing else. I think it's that, yes.
Starting point is 00:31:00 I think you've cracked something on that one, too. Oh, yeah, it wasn't mine. I mean, these are the submitted. A lot of fucking quaint armies. Just wonderful people. Yeah, I can hear the tinfoil and paper from your burrito. Pretty warm in my ears. Hell of our bodies.
Starting point is 00:31:14 You know what? Let's just stop for a second. Yorm, is it good? It's okay. What's in it? It's very basic. It's very basic. Is it Bay Area style?
Starting point is 00:31:24 It looks like a big fatty. It's a big fatty. It's just a chicken burrito, but I would say it's real normal. It's not really worth talking about as much as I'm interrupting. Well, let me throw this out there. L.A. has amazing Mexican food. Obviously, why wouldn't it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:38 But what it doesn't have that oddly New York has is rip-off style of San Francisco Bay Area burritos. That is true, but if you order a burrito, I'm going to beep that. When that comes out of my mouth, beep that. You spend, I think, $28 to $30 to have a burrito. delivered to your house, which is not worth it. It's tiny thing. But there's a few places. Like, even the one you're eating right now looks like a bay one.
Starting point is 00:32:03 And I'm saying there's almost nowhere here, even though they have amazing burritos, but they're just different style. And for some reason, no one has opened a burrito place. Like, on some level, Chipotle's the closest you're getting, and that's not really close. But at least it's the size and style of rap. You're saying, like, mission style. Yeah, a mission style burrito. But why don't they exist down here?
Starting point is 00:32:24 Why don't we open one? since culturally, it's not appropriation. It was just like, you know. But shout out to the Sonoratown for an amazing burrito, but it's just not that style. It's a very different style. Yeah, we all fucks with Sonoratown. Let's not get it twisted.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Hey, guys, a small other thing. I mentioned Britbox very fast last week when I was trying to figure out where we could watch Graham Norton, and they sent to our office a little gift thing that was a pair of scissors and some gift wrap and some ribbon. Just saying, hey, to wrap your gifts. Really?
Starting point is 00:32:56 Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. Why not? I guess so. So I suppose we answered the question, you can be bought. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Very easily. That was a free ad. Send us more shit, whoever we talk about. The pistachio lobby's pissed right now. They're like, why do we pay when this brick box just sent over some wrapping paper and a pair of scissors? If you want, send Akiva a single pistachio and he'll probably shout you out. You know, speaking of things that got sent to us, tell us about the Spotify thing
Starting point is 00:33:29 that for some reason you got and none of us did. Okay, it's very strange to me. I think that Jeff needs to hop on and explain it, but I got an award from Spotify and I assumed you guys got the same ones, although it was very specific, and it said that I was all-around great guy and a crate digger,
Starting point is 00:33:47 and it was the Rapt Award, and I don't know what it was in reference. But it's like, is it heavy, Yorm? It looks legit. It's like a legit award, but then the little plaque on it looks like it was like, hey, let's walk around, slap this on there for this guy, which is, it's still a very nice gesture. And they came with some very nice chocolates, as I made you jealous of because I assumed that you also got a cute. We were on FaceTime playing video games, and Yorm was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:34:10 The Spotify chocolates are actually pretty good. And I was like, what? And I got this cool water bottle. And I was like, what are you talking about? I'm going to throw up. Look, I'm not. You have food on your face stuck in your beard. and you're so close to the mic.
Starting point is 00:34:25 I'm my father's son, Andy. That's not an excuse. I want the chocolate. You want to put the chocolate. Put one chocolate in the mail. I'm the eating guy. Stop eating. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:34:35 I'm sorry. I can't. It's dinner time here. Andy, I'm my father's son. My father's son holds zero water. Well, it explains the food all over my mouth. Okay. This is from Barbara.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Hi, Lonely Island and Seth. I am a most unlikely soldier in the quator. me. I'm a 43-year-old mom living in Asheville, North Carolina. First off, that I think is pretty normal. But in high school and college, I watched SNL sporadically, but not every week. I have not kept up with SNL over the past two decades. I have never seen late night with Seth Myers, and I have never heard of the Lonely Island. Okay, starting to become more of an unusual. I like this so far. I was a freshman in college when Dick in a Box first aired on SNL, so I definitely knew that song. But I didn't know it was creating.
Starting point is 00:35:23 by the Lonely Island. I know this email may be starting off like a slap in the face. I'm going to say it's quite making me feel insecure. Quite an accomplishment. This is the demo I want, but I think it's quite an accomplishment
Starting point is 00:35:34 to gain a loyal follower from a person who has virtually zero ties to any of you. I have listened to and, Caps, loved every single episode of the podcast. I have learned about you and I feel like I've gotten to know
Starting point is 00:35:46 each of you through listening each week. The unique voice and personality of each of you that each of you bring to the table is just perfection. At first, I would watch the digital short before starting an episode, but honestly, I don't even do that anymore. I love listening to the four of you banter,
Starting point is 00:36:02 reminisce, rag on each other, love on each other, and talk about queen being. Thank you. Can I just say something? I don't like the ragging. I don't like the ragging, and I would like it to stop. Okay, just...
Starting point is 00:36:13 Keep up the great work and all the winter soldier. Try not to get food on your mic, please. Well, that is unique. That's a prime example. Prime example. I certainly would assume that anybody Barbara that listens to this, at least minimum has a point of entry of being either into the Lonely Island work or Seth Myers' work, or at least S&L overall in a serious way.
Starting point is 00:36:33 So I would like a follow-up. I would like a follow-up from Barbara. It was just how it happened that you would stumble across this evening. Yeah, why did you ever hit play? Barbara, we have a follow-up. Why did you ever hit play in the first place? Hit us back, please, on the tittis. That's the surprising part.
Starting point is 00:36:47 Hit us near on or on the tithis. Anywhere near a tithis, some kind of tithis. In the general vicinitis, vicinitis. Just hit us in the general vicinitus of the tititis, of the titus. That's a real punching the jeans. It's not good enough. I was workshopping it live and it backfired. It's like Barbiglias, right, Yoram?
Starting point is 00:37:07 Your neighbor. Yeah, you got to get it on its feet. You got to try stuff, guys. Perfect place to do it. Okay, next one is from Zachary. Hi, Quades. I just want to follow up on Shana's email from the Cherry Battle. Just so you know, Andy, Shana during the Cherry Battle,
Starting point is 00:37:21 is a New York Times writer but works for Wirecutter and we discussed Wirecutter because she was like, I don't work for the games, wirecutter is the thing that reviews products. Oh, so it's like a consumer reports for online? Yes, correct. Great.
Starting point is 00:37:34 You've never heard of Wirecutter? Really? Nope. He's not... A real selective New York Times is myopic. Okay, so I also work at the New York Times but not for New York Times games.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Although I did write the New York Jets connections game a couple months ago. I work at the Athletic, And I have read things from The Athletic. I know that you guys like sports and you don't care who knows from Wimbledon to the Super Bowl, so I think you'd like it. I've read articles on the Athletic before. It's a sports thing. When did you become a fucking sports nut, man?
Starting point is 00:38:02 I feel kind of a betrayal here. No, I don't look for it. It's because I read the New York Times and then it'll sometimes get to an athlete. And I'll be just scrolling down looking for articles and then a headline will grab me. Oh, gotcha. Something that interests me. Like, Taylor Swift goes to a game, you know? Oh, gotcha.
Starting point is 00:38:18 That's the time. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, J-Lo's going to play the halftime show, you know, whatever it is. Like, check out their butts. There's a lot of cute butts on the football team, you know. They write articles like that? Yep, that's the athletic.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Right, Zachary? You know what? I'm sold. I'm going to check in. Great. Cute butts on the football team. That was an article written by the Scooch for Mondo Butts. It was trying to be a Mondo Butts reference. Oh, you got to check out the butts on the football team.
Starting point is 00:38:43 I couldn't quite get my Mondo butts. Scoot's a ditch. That's now legendary never aired. Not good. Zachary's email goes on, but it ends with, will you guys be doing them? I think you should leave episode. Would love to hear Tim and Zach come on the show. Yeah, we could probably do that, just like a general one.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Yeah, those guys are real funny. Or make them talk about one sketch for a while. Do they ever do podcasts? One thing they love doing is explaining their jokes. Yeah, that's what they love doing their show. Yeah, they hate it. But so do we when they're fresh. This is a different thing.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Okay. This is another New York Times person. Ready? Okay. So basically, I guess when we gave Shine to one New York Times, Times writer, the others heard it and are like, what about me? Michael, hey, quads, loyalist in here, although I will admit I usually turn the pot off once I find out whether or not Andy has quibbied.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Thank you. Keep it at the end. Unlike some of your emailers, I actually do work for the New York Times games. Oh. I'm writing to ask that you please refrain from future discussion of other New York Times sub-brands, including the athletic, cooking, audio, and especially wirecutter. Your listeners don't want to hear about boring shit like smoke detectors. Give them what they came to you for.
Starting point is 00:39:50 An extended discussion of Pentefecta Stratt. This is great. We're getting into some, like, turf wars now. Yeah, some beef. This is cross-office beef. P.S., George Zimmer was my friend's dad and coached my youth soccer team. I guarantee it.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Wow. So many Zimmer connects. Fucking Zimmer is, like, just those men shall all way around. And I guess these are bay people then as well. Or, and this is just a theory, it's all a lie. This guy doesn't even exist. He just wrote it in. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:40:17 it's a catfish yeah yo you're talking about the matrix well i think i think the person who wrote it exists i just think that they may have made up a person keve oh shit you think the computer's doing it to us that's an ai person dude even in the matrix though people exist they're just in those little pods no they don't they're just batteries you gotta see the movie again dude's a battery oh wait wait wait wait keep kev sorry sorry you're saying michael's a battery no we got a movie doesn't even exist we gotta lay off yorm i just realized he has burrito brain Oh, shit. Oh, I think we're going to say you have to lay off me because that's a ribbing and we don't do that anymore. No, we definitely do that. But I'm going to take it easy on you because our little guy's got burrito brain. Oh, man. He's got a major case of the BBs.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Oh, look, he's going to, he's doubling down. He's going to eat more. Oh, wow. That's how you pay everyone back for hand crafting you gifts for your own dumb-ass choice to climb a ladder. It was already established, Andy, on Reddit that I was faking it. What do you do it on Reddit? Get off of there. No, we read things.
Starting point is 00:41:24 I don't read it, promise. Oh, you were on Reddit? No. Why is that kidding? Why is that funny at all? Support comes from Viori. Now that it's getting cool out, I'm wearing my beach fleece crew. How cool do I look in that?
Starting point is 00:41:42 When you see me in my beach flee's crew, you're like, damn, my dad looks good. Good, right? He looks ready to shop a bunch of errands. I look ready to shop a bunch of errands at hip, cool stores. Sure. You heard it here. It's the ideal fleece to wear as the weather starts to get chilly.
Starting point is 00:42:01 It's even made from 71% recycled fabrics. That's nice. Leaving something for your generation, am I right? I mean, I'm in the climate action team. I love at school, so I'm in full support of recycled materials. Thank you. For casual, I wear the Sunday performance joggers, and they're awesome. They wick moisture, and the fabric is so comfortable.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Do you have something to add? Oh, yeah. So when my mom wears Viori, she looks ready for tennis, and she looks like she's about to ace her first serve. And usually, I think she does. Oh, and you attribute that to her Viori looks. It could definitely play a factor in her winning. That's a really, really strong theory. You guys heard that here.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Well, when I'm going to exercise, I wear my favorite course. short, the one short, every sport. They are stylish and comfortable enough to wear all day, which I do, and you always say, oh my God, Dad, you've been wearing those shorts all day. Are they comfortable? I do ask that, and you still haven't answered. It's my little secret. They're soft and lightweight, and they have four-way performance stretch with a breathable boxer brief liner. Is that TMI? Definitely. Yeah, you didn't need to know about my boxer brief liner, but now you do, and it's, you know, that's part of life. Okay, the last thing I ordered on there, I'll tell you this, was the seaside pullover hoodie and the seaside straight lake sweatpants and it was some new
Starting point is 00:43:21 stuff that have like they're like relaxed and I think they're like lightweight with a heavyweight I mean I haven't actually got them yet but I'm pretty excited for it look them up for our listeners they are offering 20% off your first purchase go to vori.com slash island that's v u o'r i.com exclusions apply visit the website for full terms and conditions support for the The Lonely Island and Seth Meyer's podcast comes from Airbnb. Hey, everybody, Akiva here. I'm going to tell you a little story about when we went to North Carolina and we needed somewhere to stay on a lake. We were meeting up with another part of Liz's family, some people actually flying in from Denmark.
Starting point is 00:44:04 So we rented this big house and it was right on this lake in North Carolina and it was a blast. We had, you know, the kitchen and the backyard had a hammock. Oh, somebody's here. Hello? Hello. Oh, who are you? I'm Sarah, and I'm here to tell you, have you ever considered that while you're on vacation, that you could put your own house on Airbnb at the same time?
Starting point is 00:44:28 Wow, so you're saying when I'm at the lake paying for a house on Airbnb that I found through Airbnb, I could actually have put my home that I own on Airbnb and be making money. And so then it's like a free vacation? Is that right, Sarah? Yes. And you can even end up getting paid more than you're paying. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:44:51 So I could actually make money to go on vacation, possibly? That's what I'm saying. Thanks for the great information and good advice. You're gone now. Okay. Well, I'm on my own. Well, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host.
Starting point is 00:45:11 Support comes from wonderful pistachios. Wonderful pistachios is the don't hold back snack. They're healthy and they're tasty, so you can snack without holding back. Wonderful pistachios is the craveable snack that tastes too good to be good for you. Irresistible flavors, honey roasted, jalapeno lime, chili roasted, bring the heat, the sweet, or the kick to keep you coming back for more. With six grams of protein for serving and zero grams of regret, wonderful pistachios are one of the highest protein snack nuts. If you don't believe me, ask Akiva. You didn't send anything in?
Starting point is 00:45:40 Great. No shells, no limits. Don't hold back on flavors or convenience. I'll tell you what I like. It's just eating a ton of pistachios. And I'll tell you what I don't like when I forget to hide the shells. And then my wife comes home and says, did you eat all of the wonderful pistachios? And I say, no, I didn't. And then she'll say, well, where are all these shells from? And I'll say, your guess is as good as mine. Visit wonderfulpastatios.com to learn more. Here's some common questions, guys. Gremlins is not child appropriate, according to many quads, because one of the characters says that Santa isn't real.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Oh, that's quite true, yeah. Yeah, also, it's not child appropriate because it's scary. Yeah, they throw one in a blender and shit. It scarred me when I first saw it. No way. It's hilarious. But Seth is the one that asked, and he's not on here. So he's not getting that information right now.
Starting point is 00:46:30 No, but that's a real. And is it proven in the movie that Santa's not real, though? You can't prove it. Literally, you aren't proving it. to me right now yeah you're right when you're right you're right that's why it's always fine you can never prove he doesn't exist exactly exactly that's what this pod's actually about listen a lot of quades responding to akiva's Airbnb read that i'm i did with one of my kids and we talked about how my from james james didn't james doesn't know about this no he doesn't uh and we talked about how my inlaws came
Starting point is 00:46:58 and they stayed in Airbnb they're wondering why i don't have a big enough house for my inlaws they assume i make enough money for movies and podcasts to afford a bigger house no you're just a dick No, but I don't, actually. There is one extra bed in our house, but it's in the room I'm using as an office that I'm in right now, and it has the exercise machine, and it's a mess. Keeve, open your wallet. I don't make enough, guys, so thanks for rubbing it in. Okay, well, then here's an idea, genius.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Make more! The fuck. I want to, but James won't sit through the fucking ads. James, it's your fault. I think we just realized why Keith will sell out for a single pistache. This guy's hard up. I couldn't afford wrapping paper.
Starting point is 00:47:45 It was great. Abigail. Hello, Quades. First off, I want to tell Yorma that I'm really glad he ended up all right after the fall, even if this message is a bit delayed. I would also like to give my condolences
Starting point is 00:47:56 to Seth for Frisbee, another delayed message. I am a 14-year-old human being who dressed up as your old boss Lorne Michaels for Halloween. It may sound surprising, but I do have friends, though none of them know who Lorne Michaels is. Those mugless losers.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Anyway, love the pod and, of course, the digital shorts. Thank you, Seth, for the late-nighting. I watch your show every morning before school. Andy, you're just kind of awesome and funny with everything. Akiva, naked gun was so good, and I wish I could watch it again, but I don't have Paramount. And Yorma, I can relate, as I'm also the short one of all my friends. All right, I'll take it.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Bring balconies to Second Chance Theater. Also, can we have Lauren and Arnold's guests on the pod? Then there's a photo, though. Let's see what this photo is. Can I just say while we're looking at this photo? Abigail is like one of my favorite names of all time. I use it all like any time I'm making up a story, it's Abigail. Oh, Abigail, you're a rab.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Oh, and you have a little Emmy just as. Abigail's just as Lauren holding the award. Oh, my gosh. Abigail, me and Kiev were the shortest people forever. The moment we cracked five feet, we talked about this on the pod, I'm sure. but like, oh, you're great. And our kids are... Tiny.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Equally short. I was also very short. I don't know why you're excluding me. Well, now you're a gargantuan. Well, because we were buds in seventh grade. By the time we met you, we'd all had a little gross perts. Yeah, but in junior high... And freshman year of high school, I was short.
Starting point is 00:49:18 And then I have this other one here. This is from Philippa. How would you say that in a British accent? Oh, Philippi. This is a... Philippa. Philippa. Philippa.
Starting point is 00:49:25 In England, a Christmas gnome is also called a gong. Proof a gong. So every time I walk past a large display of gongs, I say, not a gonk for nobody's enjoyment except my own. Love the pod and happy holidays from truly very foggy London town. Wild because she's saying it when it is a gong. That's a gong. Now here it is. Wait, is it say you got to zoom in on the label down there.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Does it say? Well, she did it for us. Oh, happy gong. These are happy gongs that would cost this much. Oh, we got to move there. And then the happy gonk extra long. But that's pounds, Keith. What is it in dollars?
Starting point is 00:50:04 $24. Don't ask Yoram. No, Yoram, it's not good numbers. No, no, $24. Let me guess. Oh, God, I hope I'm right. I feel like it's become equal. It might be right.
Starting point is 00:50:12 But maybe that's not still true. Andy, you're the last one who's in foggling. No, pounds worth more. Come on. Oh, I was way wrong. It's 26.7. So it's 0.34. You're right, Andy.
Starting point is 00:50:21 It's still something. I was right. I'm not right? No, you're not. Ever. So, Andy, you're right. I'm a stats guy now. No, you're the bird.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Burrito Boy with Burrito Brain. Oh, there it is. Can they be both? Why do we have to label everything? I don't really got it. Why do you have to label everything? Yeah. That he has burrito bread.
Starting point is 00:50:45 With my mouthful. What? He's like scarfing his fucking burrito that he admitted he doesn't like. I'm almost done. It's fine. It's sustenance. It's fine. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Hey, uh, speaking of other things I watched. I watched Sarah Sherman's comedy special and loved it. Oh, I bet that's great. Highly recommend, but I will also say, not for the squeamish or the squirmish. It is fucking disgusting, and it's so incredible. Will you give one example of how disgusting is? There are visuals that you will never be able to unsee.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Like, it's very, very aggressively disgusting on purpose. Okay. Like Cronenberg-y level of disgustingness. Okay. It's like if Peewee and Cronenberg made a special together and the host of it was Sarah. Golly. Okay. It's very funny, though. I laughed hard. I got beat recently by my PT guy, Sean, who when I said golly, he was like, whoa, there are people saying that?
Starting point is 00:51:40 And I was like, well, I'm not saying golly. Right. Like, I'm saying golly. That's different. You know what's the difference? That's cool. Well, golly would be like, I'm like a 1950s guy. But, you know. Like, golly. Yeah. Gali is like, I'm like, 2007. Gali. Like that. That's how you say it. Not me. I found that. offensive. Yeah, like I say it, like E40 would. How would he say it? Like how you just said it. Yeah, we've used that. No, we're going to cut mine. I say it like good old Jimmy Stewart.
Starting point is 00:52:09 Yeah. Well, golly! Oh, but it's still in the posy, two-syllible way. I just golly. Golly. Yeah, like, golly, that horse has the biggest penis I've ever seen. That's exactly how I say it. Yeah. Oh, hey, I think this case of the BBs might be contagious. Yeah, it's different
Starting point is 00:52:30 Because you're doing an impression I'm someone doing it Yeah Andy, what's your excuse Because you seem like You've got the burrito brain of it I'm not gonna fret I got a little burrito brain
Starting point is 00:52:38 Whee! Tail it off It's almost Christmas Let's listen to my voice note And then the spelling me And then later Yeah, I like that God, I hope it's eating
Starting point is 00:52:48 I'm a huge fan And I have been since Offentown I always made people Watch your videos I'm like Do you know this song oh my god that reminds me of a lonely island song you got to watch it and i recently did that with
Starting point is 00:53:04 my 11 year old son he is super permanent proper though he won't let me curse and he does not like talking about inappropriate things and it did not occur to me until three videos in that all of your songs are about penises not all he did not think they were funny he just thinks i'm a pervert so thanks bye big apologies okay could it could have unthrew it on the ground But that does have getting taste in the bottle. When we were kids, I feel like I didn't know any kid that wasn't cool with swearing. 11 is, like, I think when you get your first, like, horrible cursing tapes. But I guess my point is not to disparage this collar, but to talk about how my kids won't curse.
Starting point is 00:53:47 And when they even are singing along to their favorite songs by, like, Olivia Rodrigo, let's say, and it gets to the F word, they mute themselves. Right. Or they do the radio version, even if the one playing. is the dirty version. Not the case for my kids. My kids are horrendous. My daughter's favorite song is a Riloh-Kiley song
Starting point is 00:54:06 called Better Son Daughter. And it has a... And sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on. And she is like, if we talk over it, she's like, go back!
Starting point is 00:54:18 That's the best part. So I'm a bad friend. It's crazy because I feel... I'm more like Keeve. Like, when I'm in the car with my kids, if I play anything even a little, like UGK., pregnant pussy or something,
Starting point is 00:54:28 they're like, What the fuck? And I'm like, what, it's a classic? You got to listen to the lyrics. You know what I mean? I'm just picturing the quads out there now going, oh, I'm going to throw on the UGK. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:54:44 You're in for a treat if you haven't heard it. It's a shocker, guys. It's a shocker. No matter what we say here, it will be a shogger. That's classic material. Get back to us about your feelings after you listen to it. Yeah, there's a 14-year-old. listening to this i feel bad no well congrats on 20 years of lazy sunday guys just to wrap this
Starting point is 00:55:04 up thanks kev thank you for mentioning it it probably wasn't really that long though right probably it was more recent no no we're getting younger i feel younger feels feels weird you're we'll just skip right past it yeah what's up i hope this isn't a rib oh my god please remember when we could pound like four burritos each without getting bb and now it's like halfway through my first fucking burrito i'm like oh god damn i've got I'm coming down with a major case. And it's so fucked up because they don't tell you that, you know?
Starting point is 00:55:35 When you're younger, you just see old people complaining and you think, what are they talking about? I'm young. You got to switch to NABs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some nabs? What do they take out? What is the N-A-4?
Starting point is 00:55:50 Asada. Non-asada burritos. Fuck, yeah. Some nabs. Let's get a nab. I can't do. I can't do full. Non-asada burritos.
Starting point is 00:55:58 You know what? agents were calling us the other day being like, do you guys want to try to do a celebrity endorsed brand, you know, like the way that a few different people we know have the non-acolic beers. And I think we now just found ours. Right.
Starting point is 00:56:12 So if not a soft of these. Vegetarian burritos. And the ads are just, you know, doing reenactments of someone coming down with the case of the BBs and then somebody else going like, hey, is this happen to you? I can't get my work done.
Starting point is 00:56:23 I've got burrito brain. Yeah. Yeah. Not again. Oh, once. When I hit 40, it was just like, all of a sudden, the burrito brain was lasting longer, coming on stronger, faster. I can't stop eating burritos, so what's the alternative? No, like, I hate, yeah, I hate that I stopped.
Starting point is 00:56:42 And then I'm like, Yorma, you keep eating them. What's your secret? How are you doing it? Well, Keeve, I'm glad you asked. NAB is... It'll be just like Tom Holland with his non-alcoholic beer, where I think Malini has one that he's been advertising. Oh, that's great. I would never, ever bring up someone else's product on our cast, ever.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Right, right I would never do that You think Spidey would send a voice note To promote his non-acolic beer Is it a tie-in? You think he would? Yeah, maybe Yeah
Starting point is 00:57:09 I thought you were talking about Spider-Ham You think Spidey Oh, you're right It's Spider-Man or Spider-Han They're both Yeah, they're both Spider-Man Yeah Sober
Starting point is 00:57:16 Hey, I'm one too What? I'm a spider Oh yeah, what's your guy's name? It's a great question He has a name I got one too Keep you're the only guy
Starting point is 00:57:26 Who doesn't have a fucking Spider-Man Oh yeah You're the one pointing at each other, right? You're doing this, you're doing the main. Yeah, I'm the 1969 guy. Yeah, I'm the Coda. I'm the first one. What the fuck? How are you both Spider-Man and I'm just fucking sitting here with fucking burrito brain like a fucking tool? A lot of cursing. Who are you trying to impress? Probably the man in the mirror. No, Phil Lord and Chris Miller so they make me a Spider-Man. There's a third
Starting point is 00:57:48 movie coming. Oh. Yeah, come on Phil and Chris. Make Kiva Spidey. Yeah, come on. Guys, look in the mirror. Guys, hit them up on Twitter. Let them know. Let's start the campaign. It'll be as big as when Donald Glover was going to be Spider-Man. This will be the next one for all the same reasons. You guys, I was kidding. Obviously, I know I'm Ben Riley. Relax. There we go.
Starting point is 00:58:08 He fucking, it took a while to look it up. I didn't look it up, dude. You did too. I saw your face letter. Look at my phone. Does it look like I looked up characters from Spider-Verse? No. And what is, Yorms?
Starting point is 00:58:21 That's my home screen. He is 1967. Nineteen 67. Thank you. Literally, I just have to say one thing. I'll do it like, yeah, and I'll be that Spider-Man whenever there's a bunch. Exactly. Like Yoram, a fake one.
Starting point is 00:58:33 You know what? I had the coda. I was pointing. Listen, guys, I don't want to get into politics, but Donald Glover, you know, he showed up in the last one as one of the alternate ones, kind of acknowledging the big campaign that was online to make him like a pre-Miles Morales first black live action Spider-Man. Yes. And I feel like we could get a similar momentum going for me in a similar way because nobody with burrito brain has ever been Spider-Man. You don't want to get political. I'm just saying
Starting point is 00:58:59 I feel like there's a I thought you don't have burrito brain Huh Huh No that product Seems like you're campaigning for Yorm No the product we were talking about Was a joke product
Starting point is 00:59:10 That doesn't exist You think NABs exist My no My burrito brain got usurped Keev now owns it He's got it I was saying that my burrito That I go half a burrito now
Starting point is 00:59:20 And I'm like I've got it for hours now Seth has teeth Keeve has burrito Yeah Yes. Yorm does stats. We all have burrito brand.
Starting point is 00:59:31 And I'm saying I get it now way earlier. In our 20s at SNO, we could pound burritos. Now I go have a burrito on fucking burrito branding all over the place. You know what you are is you're zonked. Yeah. And there's never been, people don't talk about enough. There's never been Spider-Man with Peridoo Bram. That we know of.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Yeah, you're right. People don't talk about that. There's so many old comics. Come at us. You don't know what people were struggling. with, exactly. Titus and the titus again about if a Spider-Man had
Starting point is 01:00:00 burrito brain. If you know if a Spider-Man or anyone you know has had burrito brain. Can I point something out, Andy? If it's in, if it's canon, Spider-Ham and Ben Riley are canon. They're from the old one.
Starting point is 01:00:14 And the moment when the Spider-Man are pointing at each other, I believe, is too. That's how it got pulled from the cartoon into the thing. That is accurate. So a Spider-Man with burrito brain, that's not a deal-breaker. It's a deal-maker.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Right. I was saying, there hasn't been one the movies, the same way there was a Black Spider-Man, Miles Morales, so there just wasn't one in the movies. And I, there has not been one with burrito brain. Now, some people could argue that Jake Johnson's Peter Parker that's like eating pizza. Right. And it's fat in the first spider's? Yeah, that's tangential, but yeah. Kind of has a burrito brain. Had burrito brain? Yeah. But he has more, he's more pizza brain. More New York. Why do you think he's constantly eating pizza? Because he's from New York. Well, because people know they weren't ready for a
Starting point is 01:00:53 burrito-brained Spider-Man. So they put pizza in his hand because they weren't They had to ease into it, yeah. Let me in. Start the campaign, guys. We have a pizza brain spidey. Now we need a burrito brain spidey. And you're saying that's as important as Miles Morales. You cross the line.
Starting point is 01:01:10 I cross the line. I'm asking questions. I said we weren't getting political. Oh, so if you say we're not getting political beforehand, anybody who gets political at all is it's their fault. Yes. If they put. Well.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Are you going to ask me if I got Queen Bee so I can go or not? Yeah, all right. I want to drag this out a little bit more. Spelling Bee. Spelling Bee. I got it clean. Pium, boom, boom, boom, boom. Put that close to the screen so I can read it.
Starting point is 01:01:45 What does it say? You found everything. All 32 words worth 141 points. Share your achievement. I did share it. Thank you. I shared it with Seth. It was late.
Starting point is 01:01:55 My last word was palliative, and it was the pangram. Palliative? Yeah, bro. That's not a fucking word, dude. Hit us in the tittis. That's not a word. Don't hit us in the tittis. We know that's a word.
Starting point is 01:02:05 Yeah, yeah. Let's take it back. No. It's a hospital. This guy's got a case of the BVs. Don't even worry about it. All right. Yep.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Happy holidays, guys. Love you. Love you guys. Later, Arnold. Later, Quates.

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