The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast - Tizzle Wizzle Show

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Today on The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast, the guys discuss The Tizzle Wizzle Show (Jammy Shuffle) from the Christmas show 2009 with James Franco. But before they do that, they respond to your comments from last week’s episode while wondering if Jorm is ever going to join. You’ll have to listen to the whole thing to find out! They also talk about some sketches they missed from last week and some from this show, including Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals, Office Christmas Presents with Jerry and Carl, and Underground Festival with a special voice note from Michael O’Brien! The Tizzle Wizzle Show (Jammy Shuffle) | https://youtu.be/am6jQEanzvA?si=f4zakjjz7xKnfn-P Jake Tapper’s drawing | https://www.instagram.com/p/DPR4rDhklDf Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZSu0sgtA68 Office Christmas Presents (Jerry and Carl) | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cP9BM2W-vc What Up With That?: Jack McBrayer & Mike Tyson) | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njcwA-HvL3U Che confronting Ye https://youtu.be/CzESR3iAOSA?si=HmTfNDvLRquxNOSs Underground Festival | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8nsOZb4JL0 Not all the clips we mention are available online; some never even aired. Send us an email: [e-mail] Send us a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/thelonelyisland Send Jorma stuff: P.O. Box 4024 New York, NY 10185 Photos and everything else can be found by following us on Instagram @thelonelyislandpod Support our sponsors: Rag and Bone Upgrade your denim game with Rag & Bone! Get 20% off sitewide with code ISLAND at rag-bone.com #ragandbonepod Factor Eat smart at FactorMeals.com/ISLAND50OFF and use code ISLAND50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. *Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Quince Make your bed the coziest place in the house this fall—with Quince. Go to Quince.com/ISLAND for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the Lonely Island and Seth Myers podcast. I'm rolling. I'm recording mine analog onto tape, so it's a reel-to-reel. That's why I said it's rolling. Oh, it's real. So you're technically really rolling. Yeah, I'm rolling. You're old-school rolling. You're also really rosy and you're Rosie real.

Damn. I hope you were rolling for that. And by rolling, I mean, on ecstasy. Oh, yeah. Really Rosie was always rolling on Molly. Otherwise. She's a great big deal. That's too hard.

And then I'm going to turn my mic, my headphones down. I'm glad we waited until we were rolling to figure that out, Seth. Unbelievable. Can you guys hear me all right? How do I sound to you guys? You sound fine. You know what else was so hot, Seth? What's that?

Basic instinct. Oh, my God. Basic instinct. Do you remember? The original. That white outfit, right? Oh, the white outfit. Can I actually say a real thing about Basic Instinct?

If you go onto what I assume would be the DVD Blu-ray extra features that are now on iTunes, if you buy it, there is a thing that was cut together by the home video department as like a bonus feature along with all the behind the scenes and it's a string out meaning like an edited thing of all the clips of the TV version so it just shows you like a moment where it's like Michael Douglas saying

you know like did I fuck her? Yeah you know I fucked her but that doesn't matter whatever the line is and then it goes to black for a second and then it comes back up same exact scene and now he's going did I frick what her Yeah, of course I freaked it with her. And as we all know from watching, you know, I think we've talked about like Mickey Fickey

undo the right thing and all the funniness of clean versions. I've never in my life seen it as a DVD extra feature just cutting to the funniest times. It seems like it's a comedy. It's so random. It's such a funny thing to do to the cast. Like, yeah, we're going to show the how you got like cut up.

It's also voice doubles, you know, back in the day they didn't get Michael Douglas. Boy, they might have just been scrubs. grape in the barrel for extras. Clearly, and they're like, what else we got? We're like, well, we got those funny ones we did for when it airs on TV. Let's just show those. Putting all the horniness aside from basic instinct,

I will tell you that when I saw it in the theaters, when it ended, I had a real, like, this is one of the greatest thrillers ever made. Yeah. You're not wrong. Like, genuinely gasped at the end. The ice pick? And, like, went home and told my parents, like,

It's groundbreaking. You probably hadn't seen a lot of sexy R-rated thrillers. Yeah. But basic instinct holds up. When's the last time have you seen it? I have not seen it in so long. May I recommend a viewing of basic instinct? Great.

But you would recommend I see it on network television, right? With the frickens in there? No, I think you watch it the real way and then you enjoy the real. Keeves, scale of 1 to 10. How much Atmos? I mean, we're at a 95. A 95 out of 10? Oh, I went out of 100.

A 9.5. 9.5. What's an atmos? What's atmos? Like, pump and smoke into the scenes, atmosphere. Visible atmosphere. That any movie still to this day uses, but uses much more delicately than in the 90s. Also, they didn't have computer color correction where you can kind of crush it away if you want to get rid of some afterwards.

What's the most atmos you think ever in a movie? Is it like Cobra Stallone? Yeah, it might be those, that era, like running man, you know? Like, he's out in that city and they've built all those sets and they don't. want you to see past like 40 feet where there's no set left so they're really so every interrogation is over an open steam grate well it doesn't read bully of smoke stuff that's what's it's like it's like steam that's what i mean it's like it feels like just like street heat but it makes things look like a movie you'll you notice the first time you put it into a music video shot or a movie

shot that you're like oh that's the difference between an episode of brooklyn nine nine and an episode of Game of Thrones Wow perfect one-to-one comparison that's great also less dragons less dragons

but beyond that same same show we tried to ape basic instinct for naked gun for how it looks among other

you had a lot of utmost and naked gun yeah god I thought I was throwing out just like a random ref and how it turned into the whole preamble

I should clarify for anybody's wondering yorm is running late because it's Mari's birthday and he just sent me a text that he's, hold on, let me see this, hanging lights. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, my. Oh, my. Seth, no, man. Seth, that's not it. But I'm waking at you. They can't see that.

Hey, well, maybe should we get our New York Times stuff out of the way? Well, Yorm's not here. If you want everybody to turn it off after three minutes, go ahead. Yeah, because they now know what they came for. Oh, but you're not saying they turn it off because we start. you mean they turn it off when we finish it. That's all they've been waiting for you. Correct. They wait. It's tease it being like,

hey, everybody, stay tuned. Stay tuned later on. Seth and Andy will reveal if they quibbied. So stay tuned. You should be throwing it anytime we go to commercial. Right. To an ads, you should be taught. Yeah, yeah.

It's like teasing who the presenters are going to be on an award show. Oh, man. Can you believe it? They're going to present. Yeah. Then just do Seth. Right. Then hold Andy for the last act.

I'm just going to read some random comments then. Yeah. Hit us in our tittis. It hit us in our titus. Somebody wrote it's pronounced Shai Rani, which I liked after everything. We played Rihanna. Yeah, after we did all that. We posted Tapper's artwork, and the first comment underneath it was Total Cube Job. And I had forgotten, I was like, what's a cube job?

And a cube job is when you draw somebody and they look like Mark Cuban. Yeah, you get Mark Cuban. I forgot already. And then a bunch of people said I couldn't believe that anybody could. draw Andy to look like Mark Cuban and a bunch people were like, yeah, no, he did. I mean, decidedly. Yeah. So everybody was on team

cube job. Tapper has reached out. He's open to any notes. I mean, he'll hear this. I think your main note would be just make it look like you and not Mark Cuban, right? Yeah, that's pretty much the note. Yeah, it's a really strong drawing. Use your face. This, again, I

hate for Jake to get his criticism via the pod, but someone said, I can't believe Seth in a crazy wig looks the most like himself like the three of you were farther away in terms of like more Tapper carnage. Oh, it's full Tapper carnage.

You know what? Tapper, thanks for just being creative and doing anything, you know? Now I'm backing off it. I just, I don't like to see a pile on. But you know what I do like to see a pylon when I'm running for the end zone? Keev doesn't get that because he's a fucking dork. Me and Seth get it. That's cool.

You dive right into that sucker. What is, what was the name of the actor and hung that Shireani looked like? Oh, that's a Google real quick. Yeah, just Google it, because there was a great comment, and I feel like I should have written his name down. Charlie Saxton? Yeah, that's it.

Somebody said, love to imagine Charlie Sexton, listening to the pod, and then just hearing his name drop right while he's making a hot dish, a mac and cheese. There's a photo of him. He looks like a well-adjusted adult man. He does not look like his character. He's doing good. Yeah, we're not piloted out. There's no way for me to imagine anyone listening to this,

not making mac and cheese. And so that's, I'm with whoever wrote that. Quato right now is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, don't get too far away from me. Like, Guido. Quido, what's you cooking? You're using that extra butter? Oh, no, quito. Hey, there was a question, as you were talking about you singing the Rihanna lines and Shairani in the demo.

Did you guys save any of the demos? Is that an existing track where we can listen to it? It's got to be somewhere. We definitely have some of our demos around, but we were not thinking about the legacy of them at all. So, like, something like that one that was done on an S&L writer's computer randomly in that office might probably be gone. And not to say something when Yorm can't defend himself, but it was Yorm's computer. Right. So when he left that office, he probably didn't think, like, I'll back this up to a hard drive and take it home and label it.

Yeah. Right, because he's a massive flake. He did say he was just at a restaurant, like five minutes. minutes ago, and got a quiet army. So we ought to remember to ask him about that when he shows up. Queen B is when you get everything. Someone suggested when you are super mad that you didn't get everything. And you know what they think the slang should be for you, Andy?

What? A frisbee. That's the lowest version of queen. You started that, and I was like, there's no way I'm going to like this. And then I couldn't have been more wrong. A lot of people were disappointed that we talked to, length about the Peabody Award and then completely missed that literally the next thing was Yorma talking about his body pee, because he literally transitioned right from the Peabody to

urinating. People were mad. We didn't catch that. They were like, how? It was right there for you guys. You had to go pee body, more like body pee. Yeah. I mean, he didn't say like, check out my body pee, you guys. By everybody, two people. But it was there for him to have done it. That's true. There was a Segway waiting to happen. He should have done it. They're mad at Yorm, like all of us. They're a little bit bad at Yarn. Yeah. I'm piling on him now because he's not here.

Yeah, he can't do anything. Oh, there was something I wanted to say about Shai Rani that I forgot to. That you're attracted to him. Yeah. This beat costs a lot of money, right? Yeah. That's why I really like that because we now, if you listen to the podcast, know that people buy beats and some beats are like more expensive than other beats. Yeah.

I don't think I knew that. that as somebody who like enjoyed music that like you know like hip hop artists would buy beats yes and if you get a beat from someone who's really well established it costs a lot more yes and what i liked is that you guys just wrote it the way you knew it to be true it was that really good comedy writing advice which is like don't talk down to your audience like just i felt like the audience got that line too i did too but i'm wondering if i you know maybe i was just uh the person who knew knew that the least if Kanye on his own recorded himself doing the Shironi part

but full-throated didn't you know do you think that would be like one of his first steps back into acceptance well does it on his own dime I mean the first step would be figuring out what the fuck Shirani's saying right but then like what if he just kind of cracks that

or what if he writes what if he goes out and writes a great Kanye version Andy Samburg because we still don't have Yarn Seth, my old compatriot, I love you. Ooh, can we just watch? I meant to watch it, and then I couldn't download it on my phone. How about a quick share screen?

You did Nick Cage on Weekend Update. I saw the rundown just a second before we got on here, and I had no recollection of that. So have you not done it get in the cage at this point? No. This is the first. So you tried a solo. And it got cut. This will be fascinating.

You did Cage, it got cut, and then, obviously, this is a good reminder, again, to the creative process, that first drafts, Maybe don't work. Also, it's a real, I think, pat on the back to you for knowing there was something there and sticking with it and figuring out getting a cave. I mean, I'm curious to see it. My theory is we thought it went great and you guys still cut it.

And then I was me and Klein, we're like, the only way we're going to fucking get on an update is to have celebrity guests that Seth and Bays can't say no to once they're there. Yeah, we fucking love. Bays especially. Fucking love celebs. Yeah.

He's like, he's always checking out slideshows of red carpets. That's the thing. He would, like, go, he got his own Getty image account. He'd just be like, oh, my God, look at this. He's like, I don't want all that text on the screen. I'll pay the fee. The United Nations just named Oscar-winning actor Nicholas Cage, Goodwill Ambassador on Drugs and Crime for his contributions in humanitarian work.

Here now to talk about his new responsibilities, Nicholas Cage. Thank you. Thank you, Seth. It's great to be here. You know, I've always considered myself a bit of a global ambassador. It's nice to finally make it official. So, uh, what exactly we'd be doing with this new position? I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence. No, no, no, no. They'll never see us coming, Seth.

Quickly, look under your desk. There should be an engraved panel of Masonic seal. Push this shard against the engraving to unlock the latch. The real declaration will be inside. and that will lead us to the treasure. Nick Cage, that movie's like three years old. I don't have time to explain this to you. Every second that you hesitate, people will die.

Do you trust me? Okay, look, stop! You need to calm down, Nicholas Cage. What do you just say? I'm really enjoying that you and I are acting together right now. It's just me and you in an action movie, basically. It's basically an action movie. And again, Alex Bays, we were joking about Bays being sort of a fan of celebs.

Bays is a great joke writer. And Bays said, The closest thing I ever came to a catchphrase is, I'm going to stop you right there. Isn't he the one who got you the doormat for your office? He got me a doormat that says, I'm going to stop you right there. He said, that works two ways

because it also stops people from knocking on your door. Which you also like. Yeah. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry, Seth. Taking a shard away. Take it. You'll need it later. I sometimes get over-excited.

I go very deep into my characters, and sometimes they spring up. Let's talk UN. Yes. Let's get back to this very serious UN matter. Yes. So what do you think being an ambassador will mean on a day-to-day basis?

What will you actually do? I'm going to steal the Statue of Liberty. You know? What? I know where it is, Seth. It's buried under the White House. The other one is a decoy built by James Madison. To hide the treasury stole from the Jefferson Memorial. No, that's wrong.

Here, take this deck. No! But be careful. It's a relic from the tomb of Abraham Lincoln's dog. Put that dagger away in the cage. I don't have time to argue with you, Seth. If you want to stay alive, come with me now. It's your choice, Senator.

No, stop, stop, Nicholas Cage. You were not in one of your movies, please. Oh, Seth. Take it this dagger away. Take the dagger. It could come in handy. Seth, you're going to have to forgive me again. I'm really enjoying it.

I call you Senator. My favorite thing of all that is Senator. Also, the fact that the music does not cut out hard, but rather just has like a low, slow fade. Oh, yeah. You got to love dress rehearsal. That's probably a moment where, turned to Bays and fucking sighed and it was dead.

So you're gonna fix the fucking music? Like that, I'm just guessing I was never under the bleachers. I'm a very impassioned man, and of course, I'm a little bit crazy! Okay, now despite my best instincts, I will ask you one more time, what are you gonna do as a UN ambassador? I'm gonna eat the President of the United States.

No, Nick Page. Switch face this with me, Seth. No, take your dagger and your shard and get out of here. Okay. All right. Here's the thing. It definitely could have aired. It's great that it didn't air because getting the cage is better than that. Sure. And like in another life, we do that and it's really fun. And you and I always talk about, like, remember that one time you played Nicholas Cage? You think this would have hurt the chances to move on to get in the cage? Well, it's also a different Nicholas Cage. This is a kind of smiley Nicholas Cage. And then the Get in the Cage, I think, is more fun than this one, even though this one was a lot of fun.

Yeah, it's still finding itself. This was much more national treasure-based. It's all national treasure. Yes. And then you became, I don't know. It was way more multi-layered once you started getting in the cage. It became more unhinged. I mean, there's no way to know.

There's no way to know. There's no way to know. But it was very enjoyable, and I will say, I'm having a great time. You can tell in my eyes that I'm enjoying every second of it. You're riffing. You're going off cards. I'm going off card. I've taken the dagger before you offer it.

Feeling all silly and loose. Just because you knew you were going to cut it probably. Yeah, I was like, this is the last time I'm ever going to do this. Got to make the most of it. By the way, you really burned me because basically you're like, okay, you don't want to do it with me, then I'll get Jake Gyllenhawn. And you can sit off to the side and you don't have to be in the two shot anymore. I mean, what was on update that week?

Not to like drill down on this. I mean, I think we've got a garth and cat, if memory serves. You were up against some heavy hitters. Okay, but what else, though? You know, I will say where you probably got burned is like, I bet it was the other one was political. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it's like, I don't know if you remember, but it's kind of the newsy part of the show.

Or at least from the news that week, even if it's just topical. I mean, I'm looking at the rundown from that week. It looks like it was Bill and Bobby doing Snookie. Oh, yeah. From Jersey Shore, so that's pretty political. And they were kind of national. They had gone national at that point. Oh, my God.

Hey, guys, Yorm here. I just wanted to interrupt real quick. I know we're talking about tizzle-wizzle, and I love, love that short. But real quick, I just wanted to mention rag and bone. Ragged bones and fused denim collection is made to fit your style, whether you like slim, straight, athletic, or relaxed. These are jeans designed to look great and feel broken in from, Day one. Isn't that right, Zaddy? Yes. They've got stretch where you need it, structure where it matters,

and they move with you so comfortably that you might forget that you're wearing denim. You know, when I first tried on these jeans, I could not believe how comfortable they were right out of the box. Isn't that right, Zaddy? Yes. They felt like jeans I had already worn in, but with a way better quality. Like when you first saw me in those jeans, what did you think? It looked pretty good. Yeah, exactly. And if Zadie thinks that, you know, because her standards are very high. It's time to upgrade your denim with rag and bone. For a limited time, our listeners will get 20% off their entire order with code

Island at ragandbone.com. That's 20% off at rag-dashbone.com with promo code Island. When they ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know we sent you. Yes. Support for the Lonely Island and Seth Myers podcast comes from Airbus. B&B, I wish I'd rope Liz into this because it's her parents. When her parents come to town, you know, we have a guest room, but it's quite small for two people to stay in, and then they're in your kitchen, stuff like that, and they're lovely. But, you know, it's nice to have a little extra

space. So she has taken upon herself to find them their own space on Airbnb nearby. And they love it because they borrow one of our cars or rent a car, and they live over there, and they can watch their TV as loud as they want, and they can do what they want. But then when they come over to us, they're cheery-eyed and bright because they aren't invading our space and feeling bad about it. Well, that's what you're refreshed from parents to be able to like...

Oh, my God, Yoram, you're here. You scared the shit out of me. Oh, yeah, no, sorry, I was here the whole time. That's what you want from parents or parents-in-law. For them to be bright-eyed, bushy-tails, so you can just hand them your kids and be like, there you go. Get gone. Well, I love staying and welcoming homes that I book on Airbnb, but it's got me thinking

my home could do the same for someone else. You've been to my house. Yorm, what would you pay for my house? $1,000? I'm not good with price. Sold! Come over here and give me $1,000 and I'll go somewhere else. I already put love into all the details of my home. Why not help someone feel comfortable

and taking care of while they're traveling when I'm away from home? Think about it, Yorm. If you host your home on Airbnb while you're traveling, it's a great way to offset some of the costs of your own trip. The extra income you make could be put towards an upcoming trip of your own. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. All right, back to the show.

You did Mark Wahlberg talks to Christmas animals. Yeah, we tried to bring it back. That's the one where it was last in the rundown, and we ran out of time on the episode. But I didn't know that when we started. And as the sketch was going, Chris Kelly, floor manager, Chris Kelly was counting me down. Like, we're going to cut the feed.

Yeah. And I had more cards, and they just started, like, ditching cards. It has an abrupt ending. Yeah. With that said, I'm glad you weren't rushing off the top. Yeah. Because it plays great and, you know, ultimately like, we'll break a little news here. The endings of S&L sketches are often not the best part.

Another Fuego take. I have no memory of it other than when it ended being like, oh, shit. I probably won't do that again because it didn't go the right amount of good. That's a good sentence. I actually, I think maybe because you didn't do it again, I incorrectly thought that, and I fucking loved watching it. Oh, okay, well, great. Bust it out. Let's see it.

Yeah, let's bust it out. And Keeve, you were dancing in the background in the monologue of this episode, right? Yeah, what was he? I was just doing that, though. It wasn't musical. Why? I can't remember why. It was just like, oh, where's Waldo?

Yeah, he was just in the background, like, kind of vibe it out. Hello, my lady. Hello, my darling. All right, Mark, Mark, we talked to Christmas animals. Mark Wahlberg talks to Christmas animals. Hey, I'm Mark Wahlberg. You guys know me. Bucked up, little fluff. Right?

Let's go talk to some Christmas animals. I was thrown by the rush. Hey, sheep. How's it going? I like your fur. So you're with the first Christmas, right? Let me ask you something. Do you guys know it was going to be a big thing?

Okay. Well, it was great to meet you. Say hi to your mother for me, okay? Now I'm gonna talk to a Partridge. Hey, Partridge, how's it hanging? Where's your pear tree? Oh, there it is. So you were in that song, The Twelve Days of Christmas.

I was in The Happening. Did you see that movie? Okay, talk to you later, Partridge. Now I'm gonna talk to a snowman. Hey, Snowman. It's nice to see you. How'd you get in here with all these animals? You're not an animal. You're a man.

I like your stick hands. I have real hands, but we can still hang out. Just let me know, okay? Say hi to your mother for me. Now I'm gonna talk to Rudolph. Hey Rudolph, long time no C. I've been thinking about making an entourage movie. Do you like that idea?

Hey Rudolph, next time you talk to Santa, tell him I want to Amazon Kindle, okay? You hear me, Rudolph? Amazon Kindle. Say out of your mother for me, okay? This has been Mark Wolber. It's still very enjoyable. It's very enjoyable. I can tell I'm rushing.

The impression's great. I do feel like... I forgot you did it again after Mark came and did it with you. Yeah. That was the last time, pretty much. I think the reindeer, also, there's a moment where even watching it, I'm like, is that? What is that? Is that an actual reindeer?

Or did they, like, super glue some antlers on a fucking dog deer? It is a full reindeer. I mean, as soon as I enter that frame, I know for a fact I've never been mauled by a reindeer, but I immediately was like, oh, God, I hope I don't get mauled. It's a very small reindeer. Those horns are big and scary. The horn, big old horns.

Yeah. With apologies to Spodiodi do boolecious. Oh. That thing had some big horns. Because it's got a huge horn section, Seth. Fuck. It goes like, Talk on that radio.

It's really good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How confident were you when you made that joke that Keeve would be there to catch you? One million percent. That's fantastic. That's a very good song. I calculated this actually this morning, Seth,

because me and Keev were texting. We've known each other 31 years. That's unbelievable. It depressed me rather than make me feel special. Yeah, it didn't cheer them up. It made them feel worse. This was a Christmas show. I was like, well, for me, it's been an honor, Keeve.

Wait, guess what? Guess what Bill Hader texted me today? I know what he texted you because he texted me the same thing, that today was the 20-year anniversary of our first show, Keeve, also. Oh, October 1st would have been the Steve Karell show. 20 years ago, and he sent me the picture of you two just chilling. Wow. And it's nuts.

That's huge. And we look exactly the same and feel great. They feel the exact same greatness. I then sent him because I was. watching this episode to get ready for a thing right when he sent it. And so I was like,

I can't believe that guy grew up to be this guy. And then just, then I just sent him a clip of, uh, a deal-in production has a real nasty dildo out. Ah, damn it, so close, guys, we got to figure out these gifts.

So buckle down. Carol, hold my call. Hmm. Maybe we're making it's too complicated. I say we just ask ourselves what we would want for Christmas, and that's what we should get people. So dildo's in?

Dildo's in. Jerry and Carl, which again, you forgot Mark Wahlberg talked to Christmas animals. I did not. I forgot that Jerry and Carl somehow have been on the show three times. I definitely didn't know that. Is this the third or the second? This is the third, and it is mind-boggling to me that this kept finding its way back into the show. And that there was a line about someone having a Dildo allergy.

Well, dude, I'm going to play from the start. You cannot believe how quickly Dildo finds its way into this sketch. This was second to last in the rundown just before Mark Wahlberg. So, by the way, this is why Andy had to rush through Walberg. That's right. Forte's hair is so funny. Just a little tough. And it also was, I think they explained in the second Jerry and Carl why his hair looked like this.

And then they just kept it this way and never explained it in the sketch. Troy, Jerry, so sorry I'm late, but it's been a grizzly bear of a day. You know what I always say? The going gets tough, the tough go fishing. Oh, Jerry. you and your inimitable sense of humor. Gentlemen, I appreciate the lively japerie. But in the next five minutes,

we've got to figure out what gifts we're going to get the office staff for Christmas. So we've got to buckle down. Carol, hold my calls. Christmas presents. Christmas presents. Christmas presents. How much are dildos these days?

Around 25 bucks last I checked, and that was two hours ago. The Christmas show. It's the Christmas show. Oh, God damn it. In the previous, remind me, in the previous Jerry and Carl sketches, were they were into dildos,

that was the main thing? Or no? No, no. They just were like, the third ones about dildos for the staff. Yeah, it's a staff party for dildos. Two hours ago, though, is what gets you. They could have changed.

Yeah, $25 last I checked, which was two hours ago. Hold on, let me, there's also a crazy joke at the end where they vote. The reason the cake of Dildos is somebody in the office is allergic to Dildos, but they vote at the end. Okay, all those in favor of firing, Ted Fields, Dildo.

All those opposed? Human penis. It's the most... Dildo is I, and human penis is Nek. It's the most forte writing joke. Oh, yeah. Wow. It's essentially a John Boevy.

Yeah, essentially. Yeah, they essentially both. caveat. Tizzle Wizzle. By the way, we're coming off back-to-back criterions. I don't think we've ever had three criterions in a row. And we're not going to. I don't think we ever will. We might. We might, but it'll be hard to do. There's a moment around three-way and Jack Sparrow. Maybe.

Maybe. You're presuming the three-way's criterion. Well, it's grandfathered. What do we think about, do you remember anything about Tizzle-Wizzle and the jump-off? No, and I don't, not that we should count on. Yorm to know, but that's why I was hoping he was going to jump on by the time of it in case he does. I know he kind of likes kid stuff, so I was hoping he would remember. I will say, yeah, go ahead. The jammy shuffle, I believe, is the song sounds very much like something that I came up with.

I could be wrong, but I kind of feel like this one maybe started with some kernel of a thing of mine, but it could be Yom, I don't know. There is, there are elements of this I really like. But in my memory of it, there were like two things I had forgotten that I thought were really great. And at the same time, not quite for me. I think this is undeniably influenced by wonder shows in a little as well, probably, right? Just because it's a perverse take on children's programming? Yeah.

A skewed take, a demented take on children's programming? You could almost say we see things a little differently, Keith. We don't do things exactly the way that others might. Hold on one second, guys. I'll be right. Well, Keeve, since Seth stepped away, what's your take on the Nick Cage update situation? Do you think Seth and Bays fucked us?

I think that that easily could have aired because you watch things transform or what do you want to call, like, grow up. You watch characters change over multiple sketches on the air all the time. Where you're like, oh, the first Wayne's World, they hadn't quite figured out everything yet. By the third one, it's like the Wayne's World, we know.

So you could easily have had that Nick Cage, and it could have gone a B, and then you still next time would have gone get in the cage, and it would have been an A, and it would be no difference. Agreed. That's my guess. Agreed. And I just hope that my friend Rob Klein, who I wrote with, is listening,

so he feels equally vindicated as me right now. But it's also, you know, it worked out fine, so it doesn't matter. Andy, you're not looking at the rundown, right? No, but I can't. No, don't. Don't. Oh, okay. There are two special guests that were on the episode.

Okay. One was on 30 Rock. Okay. And the other was in The Hangover. What's your guess? This is The Christmas Show, December 19th, 2009. Tina and Zach? Mike Tyson and Jack McBarrarer.

You're an idiot. So I basically got it. I did not expect to see special guests, Mike Tyson. Seth, do you remember what Mike Tyson did on this episode? What up with that? Oh, he was the guest. sitting there that they never get to? I'm just guessing.

I'm just thinking, like, what would Mike Dyson? Oh, I think Mike Dyson got up and dressed and danced like a crazy person at the end. On what up with that. Did some What Up with that dancing? Yeah. All right. So, let's watch Tizzle Wizzle, guys. My recollection of Tizzle Wizzle is that it was really, really good.

So let's see how that holds up. Mine is just that it is fully realized. So then you can judge the content as, you know, it's up there to be judged. Yeah. But for the amount we just, like, got a soundstage and figured it out on the fly and kind of made it happen. I was like, hey, it's a whole idea. I remember it ending and being like, we did our job this week. Yeah.

Everybody's very good in it, and there's a moment. When the lights go off, I really like. It's a really good filmmaking. Here we go, ready? Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Tizzle Wizzle Show. Our special guest today is James Franco. Hey, Tizzle Wizzles. It's also a little bit of like Tully Tubby, and bananas and pajamas and what's the other one

where it was like Yo Gabba Gabba kind of too Yo Gabba Gap but it's also like the one where was those Australian men Oh yeah yeah yeah The Fuck Nuts Yeah the fuck nuts It's a little like that

Yep James what are you wearing? I'm wearing pajamas Same with us Only around here we call them Jammies Let's dance The jammies shuffle

The jammies shuffle Everyone put on your jammies now comfy cozy snugly warm Come on everybody Don't have a Cow? Pink ones, blue ones, even stripes. Jammy party. Dance all night. Jammies! Knives, knives, all types of knives. Everybody pick out your favorite knives. Short ones, long ones, one with spikes. Three more seconds to choose your knife. Three, two. Pills, pills, all types of pills. Everyone must take at least one pill. Gull them, swallow

them, them eat them down. Don't spit them out because we'll know. Yay! The pills take hold of your mind flesh, you're brave and strong, you don't fear death. Cheese! Steal yourself, it's time for war. Your glowing stick is how we keep score. Hop to the left and raise your knife. It's a fight to the death. Now, kill the lights.

What's going on the lights? One player remains. All held the king of the Tizzle Whistle Day. We've had our fun, but goodbye for now. We'll be back next week. Short and sweet. Short and sweet. Short and sweet.

Perfectly executed. My favorite phrase. Don't have a cow callback, my favorite part. The glow sticks, like just solving the problem of how we will not actually watch the violence. Oh, it's a children show. It's a children's show. Yeah, that would be inappropriate, Seth. The Wiggles, Kev came through.

Yeah, it's kind of like the Wiggles. I directed it. I wrote it, and I starred in all the parts. You did get a pretty big laugh in the beginning just for the cutaway of your face looking kind of just too guisey, awkward dancing. It is like Andy had a real ability to be a believable kid, even as a grown man. This was an audience that cheered on the logo. So we were in our sweet spot with this one, I think. Yeah.

And again, you're right. You did your job perfectly executed and fun times. Yeah. And it's 100% criterion. Seth agrees. This guy. Just this look got a pretty good. But I don't know where this lands, because it's not criterion,

but it's not exactly Kim's videos, or is it? I think it's Kim's video. All right, Kim's video, then. I was wrong. Go fuck myself. But that's more than you thought it was going to be, Seth, last week. You were like, I don't even know what this is. And then Kim's video is high price.

I watched it today. It's way better than I thought it would be. Do you think Nick Cage got cut because it also had a dagger? Oh, yeah. That was probably what you told you. You wrote two daggers. Oh, yeah. He's like, you can't have two daggers.

By the way, while you were gone, Seth, while you were gone, Akiva fucking trash you for cutting Nick Cage. It was crazy. I was defending you, too. I was like, hey, hey, he had a job to do. You had to get politics in. I'm sure there were like six jokes that got like mild reaction,

but they were necessary because the show was saying something. Never leave the pod. You leave the pod, you get trashed. Hey, hey, sorry for the interruption. Yorm here again. Man, I've loved what everyone's talking about so far. It's been great.

But I just wanted to mention Quince. Cozy season has arrived with quince, and nothing sets the tone like a bedding refresh. Now that cozy season is here, right, Sadie? Yeah. It's the perfect time for a betting refresh. Quince sheets and duvets are super soft, breathable, and elevated enough to make every night feel a little bit more special. Sadie, do you like a very comfortable bed?

Yep, it's comfortable and cozy, then yeah. Right. And if Sadie says that, you know. No, we're cooking with gas. Switching to Quince sheets has honestly made all of our bedrooms feel upgraded, don't you think? Pretty much. The duvet is a perfect mix of cozy and breathable. Zadie is not one to be hyperbolic here, guys.

I just don't wake up feeling overheated anymore because that breathability is something else. Make your bed the coziest place in the house this fall with Quince. quince.com slash island for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash island. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash island. Take it from me, Yorm and... Lady! Yorm here once more. Support comes from Factor. Fall always feels like a reset. When school schedules, busy routines, and shorter days, finding time to cook can be tough.

Factor makes it easy to stay on track with meals that are both comforting and healthy. Isn't that right, Zadie? Yeah, if you say so. And I do say so. Honestly, having Factor in the fridge, it has felt like a little cheap code for our busy weeks because we used to be really rushed making dinners and now with Factor. Is it snow right now? I can't tell. Okay, that made zero sense, Zadie.

But anyway, just take it from me. It's been much easier making meals. The food tastes way better than I could possibly have expected from any prepared meal of services. Isn't that right, Zaddy? If you say so. Eat smart at factormeals.com slash island 50 off. And use code Island 50 off to get 50%

off your first box plus free breakfast for one year that's code island 50 off at factors meal.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase okay back to the show there's a clip going around and this is we'll feel like it's forced but it's true. There's a clip going around of, because it's guys from that new Kanye documentary that's out, of Che talking to Kanye. Yeah, I saw it. I saw it. And that, I want to say a couple things. One, it's fascinating to watch. Chea, talk to Kanye and defend the show. And two, that is absolutely the same spot in the hallway that Bays would have told you your stuff less cut. I know, I was like, why does this, why is this giving me like PTSD? That would have been where you would have heard. We're not doing gauge.

He went, hey, sorry, buddy. And then he was like, maybe some A-lister's. Why are you giving him like a deep, gravely voice? I don't. Hey, sorry, pal, yeah. We had to cut it. Seth wants to do like seven jokes about.

That has a better base than the one. I don't know why I play Bayes like a, like a growling. He's tall. I'm just, you know. No, he's got some heft. Yeah, he's not baby Herman. He's got heft.

Where was it? Where are you saying that is, Ath floor or ninth floor? It's on nine, right out, that hallway right? like the between Higgins' door and the back door to Lauren's office. Yeah, yeah. That's basically exactly where

the story that we told about the Joachian Phoenix, Yorma, Cameron Diaz moment that I told, that's right in that where it kind of widens out for a second where you can have a little chat there. Again, I guess, like, at this point, one might say Yorm's not coming.

I think that's fair. And by the way, knowing him, he'll show up, like, as we're saying bye. Yeah. We can also ask him next week about the Tis or Wizard show. He honestly might remember more than us. But I do think this was a three-hander, as they say, that it didn't come from one

of us specifically. Yeah, he was very involved. And especially in the song, a lot of Yorm's signatures in there. Yeah, that's definitely a beat he made. Yep. It did not cost a lot of money. Nice. This set didn't cost a lot of money. Nice, guys. Keev you sounded just like her. Oh, thank you. There is something, too, that like, because you built two sets, you didn't use the last time, They were like, you got a white psych. Well, it wasn't our fault, man. We definitely wanted to keep it simple.

Wait, were we going to talk about stuff from the other shows? Well, I wanted to talk about Underground Underground Music Festival, which is one of my favorite things. And basically, a three-hander, it's Siddacus and the Seam, who didn't do a ton of stuff together and are so good. DJ Super Soaker, and I think she's Little Blaster. Mike O'Brien wrote it, and it's based on... The Juggalo's, right? And I want to make sure it's the first one. Because the first one was called the Kickspit Music Festival.

I remember that we spent like an hour trying to come up with what the name of this music festival was. And I think we ended up on Kick Spit. And then literally the next one, it's like, let's just call it the Underground Underground Festival, which is such a better name. But three-hander, Sedakis, Naseem, and also Yorma as the voice. Because Yorma is perfect as a guy who's doing the VO for. a music festival like this. Should we watch it first? Yeah, let's watch it.

Underground Records brings you its 10th annual. Kick-Spit Underground Rock Festival. What up, y'all? I'm DJ Super Soap. And I'm Lil Glaster. And we're bringing you amazing happenings for the Super Dope. 10th annual Kickspit Underground Rock Festival.

You are fans, your ears will bleed. We've got ratballs. Slit, third or sex? DJ Duce grown, Mrs. Potato Dick. And more. This most underground festival ever. No water bottles, no protection from the sun, and absolutely no port-a-john. We didn't sell out and get you a bunch of port-a-jonged, yo.

You want bathrooms? Oh, we've got bathrooms. They're called your pants. Ha-ha! Underground enough for you. Aw, yeah. And don't forget the mud-eating contest. Try to dethrone last year's mud-eating champ, ass Dan. Everywhere you look, Mab Crunk's going to be popping off.

We got loose alligator. It's up in this. Chomp on some stick meat. Come have sex with the iron sheet. And did we mention bands? Now, I want to say this is one of the most fun kind of sketches to have at the rewrite table. Yes. Because all it is is a perfect structure to just throw on dumb ideas.

Come have sex with the iron cheek. And it's just Mike O'Brien. This is his brainchild. And a lot of them come from him. And then he would also sit at the rewrite table and he would just write stuff down. And we wouldn't know what he was keeping or what he was losing. But it was pure joy for it. hour, even just yelling out names of these bands.

There's going to be donkey crossed. Good. And don't miss a very special encore performance by Mrs. Potato Dick. They my boys always spraying the crowd with cat piss. Ha, ha, hell yeah. So many fun events. And you know you got to get in the worst he-man of pressure contest. Just look out for last year's champ.

Ask Dan. For sure. And if that wasn't enough for you, ninjas, we got a mad list of special guests, yo. Like Mark Furman from the OJ tribe. The Matt guy, Justin Long. Turtle from Anturrod. Miss Screw Magazine, 1997. An NBA All-Star, Dirk Lewinsky, shoot a BB gun at you in an open field.

You wanna get sick as hell? Helicopters gonna spray your ass with viruses, yo. Viruses. And there's more, like a full screening of Facts of Life, season three. Plus, we got a bunch of ventriloquists walking around on stilts. And their dummies got tiny stilts, yo. And you know we got moms running all around this bitch. And here's the best part.

Everybody. Get it's pitchforks Everybody's going to be running around mad crazy with pitchforks you literally everyone is given a pitchfork Plus don't miss

a very special memorial service for ass dance So get your tickets now, Ninjas for the 10th annual Kickspit Underground Rock Festival

And get ready to be truly Underground Kickspin underground Rock Festival See you, Ninja's there Fun Super fun Yeah

kept getting better kept getting crazier that was very crazy to start and like only one x as crazy as it got which was like 20x they invited us to do stuff with ask dan like twice before saying he had actually passed away yeah um so i asked mike o'brien to send me a voice note last week mid pod i thought we're going to get to it and i said hey leave me a voice note about how you chose you are i'm going to do the VO and he's like when you need it i was like now and so he uh he sent this hey I don't remember why Joseph and I first asked Yom to do those VOs, but he was so great at him, and I'll just say briefly that after he left,

we had someone else filling in for that part for the table read only, and after you'd gotten used to Yorm doing it, it was a bit rougher. Folks, it'd be like if you went to Star Wars and some regular guy was doing Darth Vader's voice instead of James Earl Jones. I have a feeling. Guys, I appreciate it. Thanks for the platform. So anyway.

But wait, did they not go ask Yorm then when they did him once Yorm left? Because there's nothing Yorm likes more than getting and doing Vio. No, he did it for the shows. Oh, oh, just not at the thing. He did it for the show, but not the table. Now, anyway, we aired, obviously, we're talking to you. I'm talking to you guys after the Shai Rani episodes come out. Michael Bryan listened to it, realized his voice note wasn't in.

Texted me. I'm so glad you didn't use it. I felt like I rushed it and it wasn't great. Yeah. And he said, should I do it? a second one. I was like, sure, but I feel like we're still going to play the first one. And he goes, I think that's right. I want the audience to know what my rushed version was. Yeah. And then he sent his second one. Oh, good. A reboot. I just want to say before you play this,

if he doesn't thank us for the platform, I'm going to be furious. I hated that bit. I think if you're even going to do the Vader thing, you've got to go all the way through to where you're like acting out lines from Star Wars and then you're just like so far off track. That's just, uh, start it here you know it's funny uh jost and i were just kind of banging our heads against the wall trying to think of who to get to do the v o we were like it's got to be someone with a little gravel you know and then we both looked at each other all of a sudden said at the same time got to get yorma that was it that was it so he turned on his like press junket liar voice he did a junket yeah he imagined that he had an like a underground festival poster behind him and

he's doing the behind the scenes. Didn't thank us for the platform either. No. He did give more credit, or he did give accurate credit to Jost, which I forgot. I knew it was a Michael Brian joint. I forgot he did it with Jost too. Sorry, Jost. I'm not sorry.

Yeah, he's got enough great stuff. He doesn't need this. Jost is going to be fine. That piece of shit. Sorry, I don't. People asked if you would ever do a segment on my show called Job Drinking with Andy Sandberg. So it wouldn't be a day drinking. It would just be.

you and I chug and jod. That would be fun. I mean, it would be different. Interesting to see if over the course of two hours, if you had 16 espresso shots, what you'd be like. Oh, no. The best part would be us having to stop every seven minutes to go to the bathroom. Is that more dangerous than over-drinking at a certain point?

I don't know. I would think that's worse. Well, you have to think that. Yorm is not here, but I texted, I looked at the YouTube comments this morning and texted one to you, Seth, to say to Yorm, did you see my text? Oh, yeah, that somebody sent it. Remember Yorm said somebody just wrote in a postcard that said, penis. And the person wanted us to know that it was pelvis.

Yeah, I'm going to show this so that Andy can see it. Because once you see it spelled out, you see, are you seeing it right now? Yeah. You see how that could look like it because the V goes up and down and the L. And if you connected that, if you were writing it with your hand, you connected an L to the V, that could be an N. Pretty easy. Yeah. But it is really funny that this person says, I wrote pelvis on the postcard.

pelvis, but I could see the confusion. It seems true to me. It makes way more sense. It's still weird to write a whole postcard and just write the word pelvis. It's still a little weird. Yoram told the story about, for the second time, about how he peed in a jar while he was on a Zoom with Daniel Radcliffe. And somebody did comment. Do you think Yorne broke his pelvis because he kept dropping names on it? It's a very handy comment. You're really, you're teaching these people. You're teaching them how to burn your arm. How to rip. How to interact

with this. Well, he has an affliction. Name dropperitis. All right, guys, it was a quieter week. Yeah. Well, this hour in the night, I'm not joved at all. I'll be honest. I'm not javed at all. I haven't been jobs for hours. And you know what? Not to be all on Morgan Freeman

in Shawshank Redemption, but I miss my friend. We've come to depend on his pain killered out wild ways. Yeah. Yor's crazy. Yorm went full ladies, man.

Isn't it maybe I just missed my friend? Maybe I just missed my friend. Some podcast seemed to draw out like a blade. Do you think Yorm wrote Yorm was here in the rafters at the hospital? Or he wrote it at the top of the ladder right before he. Oh, no. Brookes was here and then fell off the ladder. That's so fucked up.

You guys heard it here first, Seth and Keev, making fun of Brooks. Oh, hey, guys, I made it. Wait, this is great, because we're at the end, and Kevin, our producer Kevin, just pointed out, we tease the New York Times games, but we didn't get to it, so we did live by row. Yeah, so everyone had to stick with it. They've been on pins and needles.

Afraid if they hit the 30-second forward, they'll skip right past it. And by the way, some people said, don't say what words you missed, because they are doing the B-Ls. on archive. We cannot, uh, we cannot agree to that. And I'm sorry. Yeah. Also, I didn't even know there was a B archive. I know. Oh, boy, you don't need to know that. Well, he's hit him every day. He'd have to go way back to get to him. I have the app and there's no archive. Where are they

getting it from? Uh, I don't know. Maybe they mail it to them. Tell me, um, what you, uh, what'd you miss? Oh, you didn't miss anything, but what'd you need a hints for? I needed two hints today. Mm-hmm. One, I'm glad I used the hint. It was citification. Okay. And then another, I was like, God damn it, it was Fontina. Gotcha. Should I got. I missed Finito. Oh, that's a rookie mistake.

Well, I mean, it's very similar to Fontina. No, yours is way worse. No, Fontina is a word you see on a menu. Finito is a word you literally never see written. I say Finito every single time I leave the bathroom. Seth's laughing. You can't see him, but he's laughing really hard, actually. Yeah.

I was wondering. How you were going to argue you used it? Threw myself under the bus just to prove my point. Do you say it to yourself? Laffanito, flash. Loudly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, before the flush.

That's interesting. Yeah, yeah, with great flourish. Gotcha. All right, well. If we just wait a second, then we'll have a funny, Andy. Because you'll join in. Andy, as soon as you see him, just say later, Arnold. Okay, perfect.

So let's do Love you guys Love you guys Love you guys Love you buddies Hey Hey guys How's going

Later Arnold Oh fuck I Are you saved Later quades Later quates