The Luke and Pete Show - A Cow’s a Silly Animal

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Luke and Pete kick off this episode by delighting at the days getting longer. It’ll be spring before you know it, lads.Things get more controversial when Luke has his say about lager consumption alongside a curry (is it really that good of a pairing?) and the guys take a look at the curious case of Veronika the Austrian cow. She may or may not be doing wonders for the reputation of her species’ intelligence. Also, raw milk is definitely still disgusting.Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and the Pete. Sure. It is Thursday, the 29th of January. How the hell did we get to the 29th, January, Lukie Moore? Just taking it a day at a time. Just taking a day at the time and now it's... What doesn't you makes you stronger? It seems to be getting a little bit lighter in the evening.

I do like that. I do like that. I was having a particularly, shall we say, challenging morning with the two-year-old tyrant is my son. Just the unpredictability of it was becoming well. And anyway, we finally got him at the house and I got him, my routine in the morning is to walk him to nursery and I jump on a limey bee, as regular listeners to this show will know and head into the office. And I was feeling a little bit, I think it was a Monday and I was feeling a little bit jaded. And then as I started walking, the whole thing has to run to quite a strict time routine, which obviously isn't conducive with a two-year-old.

But anyway, that's how you're going to do it. Otherwise, I'm going to be late for work. And I did notice. So I knew that it was different because I'm always out there at the same time. And I was like, actually, do you know what? I wouldn't actually say this is dark now. This is not darkness. Yeah.

And it actually put a real spring in my step. So I agree with you. I can have another jaw and the juice. I can have another coffee. It's the light outside. Do you know what I've started doing? I've started taking on board the big apple porridge that the Pratt have started doing. What do you mean as in like, do you add the apple or is all the in there?

So the genius of the Pratt business model is that is that they, just when you think you're getting really bored of all their products you're not going to go there anymore. They'll slide something else in? Yeah. Just when you think you're out, I drag you back in. They'll bring you back in with a mushroom risotto? It's basically, yeah.

Or the chicken laxa soup. Oh, goodness me, it's good. Oh, is it spicy? It feels like it might be spicy. It's spicy enough. Yeah, okay. So anyway, the big apple porridge is your standard common or garden prep porridge, but it's a load of shredded apple, brown sugar and cinnamon in it.

Right, okay, yeah, nice. I'll take that. Do you have any sort of options about, do they give you the little pot or nuts like they sometimes give you? You can take those if you want to as well, yeah? I would personally find that overkill. Yeah, okay. But when I used to get the common or garden standard porridge,

I used to get that with a bit of honey as well. Yeah, nice. Are you a preck guy? I'm a big preck guy. I've just got to steer clear of the meatball, the meatball sobs, the meatball wraps. I mean, I can't be eating meatballs all day, can I?

That's no way to live your life is it. If you don't mind me saying, at the risk of sounding rude, that is the tip of the iceberg. I've been all right. The only thing that's killing me at the moment in time is that I'm trying to eat all of the things that we still got over from Christmas, stuff with like brandy butter on and stuff.

I keep finding, I keep finding mystery cheeses that I didn't know existed. That is the most delicious type of cheese. I know, right? And I've still got maybe a quarter of. quarter of me Christmas cake to

see off so it's a real bind It's a real issue yeah I guess so but again you can't be

eating Christmas cake all the time I've got half a box of shortbread still in the cupboard really now okay I always get a big

Marks and Spencer shortbread box given to me by my mother for Christmas hmm Sarah's dad is a big

shortbread fan and I am constantly buying short bread and losing it I don't know where it's going somebody keeps

stealing my, keep sneaking to my house, stealing my shortbread. How is Frank Chapkin doing? He's all right. He's on good form. He's, uh, yeah, he was, he was around, um, two days ago. He's, I think he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's positive about the uptick in form, not form, let's not, let's not over egg it. Um, the uptick in performances of West Ham.

Uh, he was, this week, he found near his bins down the side of his house, um, a big sleeping bag. What? A big sleeping bag, lift up the big sleeping bag, three cans, empty cans of lager. Someone's been having a little sleep next to his house. Would that freak you out? In the garden? Not in the garden, to the side of his... He's got like a little sort of, I guess, sort of garagey bit.

And in front of the garage, someone's been having a little snooze and a few cans. It's a bit sad. I hope that person's okay. Well, they've got enough money for three cans of stellar. God knows where the fourth went. Be honest. I know. No, I said, Frank, how long did it take you to sort of, you know, take the notion out of your mind that it was me?

And he gave, he gave annoying giggle, but not really, not really the answer I was looking for. So, yeah, he was. So you think that was one of his first thoughts? Yeah. Sarah's, my daughter's kicked him out. Yeah. I mean, he must have gone through his mind. He must have gone through his mind.

I was guarantee, yeah, completely agree, completely agree. Cry for help? if there were cans of Tisky I'm sure he'd be on the phone to Sarah immediately but there's no way you're sticking with to three I know yeah three I mean two's a good amount

three for one fourth God knows where the fourth went but yeah and five's the golden eagle and five's the golden eagle I might there's a lot of content online which is what is the perfect number of beers

and for me it's two I think if I can go the best situation for me can you stop at two though yeah I can yeah right can you do anything after two though well I was gonna say if I give you the context

the situation for me to make two a perfect amount of beers would be I've done a good amount of work that I'm happy about and it's a feel like an achievement on the way home I are on my own have two beers propped up at the bar at the local and then I know that I've got no responsibility when I get home and there's like a football match or something and I can get a takeaway or something like that.

Okay. I don't need to keep drinking after that. I don't need to have beers when I get home or anything like that. No. Like the other night when I went out for a curry the other night and I met some mates in the pub beforehand and I had two beers before the curry

but then I had just soft drinks at the curry house. and it was perfect. I don't really know how people smash a load of lagers what I have in curry because it's so bloating. Yeah, but if you have a hot curry that's a thing that sort of cools

like, well, attempts to cool you down, isn't it? I think drinking lagers with curry is the most overrated thing. You reckon?

Yeah. It's pretty well established. I know it is. I'm confused by it. I'm very confused by it. What would you do? Well, I mean,

I'd have a lassie on the go at the same time. I've never once had a lassie, I don't think. You've never had a lassie. You'd love it. It's delicious. It's a lovely yoghitty,

lovely yoghitty mango drink. For me, the best drink to have of a curry is, depending on the curry, it's going to be a nice, crisp, cold glass of white wine. Right. If I'm,

if I'm drinking alcohol, or it's just a soft drink. That's too strong, though, isn't it? Because you need the coolness of the liquid. And if you start hoovering up wine to cool your mouth down, you're going to be in all kinds of trouble.

You're going to be... I don't think I need to cool my mouth down now. I'm not, going for like a ridiculous curry. Right. Calm a man. Nah, but I like a pleasant buzz. I don't like a pleasant buzz.

I don't feel like I need to just prove my masculinity by having the hottest curry possible. Do you? How do you do it in different ways? I like the blocs who are going to like, usually younger lads going to curry place and they film themselves for TikTok. And then they just have, they always have their tops off

after, as the camera cuts. They're having a terrible time and then they're outside and they've always got their tops off in the street, having to sit down and having to think about their lives as the heat really, really goes to town with them. Let me broaden this out. Do you do you share this view that I've got?

And it's a two-pronged view. And it's that all the time when I see younger men doing something online, they seem to secretly be having not that good a time. It's like an enforced element to it. And secondly, looking back to when I was that age,

I think I probably did a lot of stuff that I wasn't that into, but I just did it because my mates were doing it. Yeah. But do you not think that if TikTok and stuff was available, you'd be doing this sort of thing, and you'd be very public about it? And there'd be a huge trail of things. And I'm not even a big vine style like you were.

No, exactly. Would you be the sort of people who was just eating Tidepods and stuff like that? I don't think I would have gone that far. I think I've always been relatively... Sensible in that sense. Yeah. I think I would have been much more likely to we used to do stuff like um you know tree jumping and bush jumping and stuff like that where

you used to get hurt and we used to drink booze and experiment with substances occasionally and but i would have been far too frightened to do any of that stuff online because my parents would have found out yeah that's a good point actually and i would never have done like but i do know people who would have done things like that kid did who ate that slug and sadly died. you know. That kind of makes me cringy a bit because I definitely

had mates back in the day when we're teenagers who would do that kind of shit for a bet for sure. He must have got so unlucky

the slug eating guy. So unlucky. I had some kind of toxin in it didn't it? Yeah, well some kind of bug got him in the end

but yeah what a terrible thing to sort of deal with yeah. But anyway going back to the curry thing if you and I went for a curry

which we didn't do because you never invite me out to dinner but if you did oh I never invite you at your house never invite you at

dinner. What do you need from me? I am an arm's length friend to you I literally I see you at work that's how it works you don't offer you don't say hey Pete that quote there tells its own story

Pete let's let's go for some golf let's do some golfing invite Pete it's a perfectly normal thing for a normal person who likes golf to say let's go for a golf and let's do some golfing let's do some golfing for a golf let's do some golfing for cloud but if I took you for a curry or you took me for one

and we sat down and they said, can I get you guys a drink to start with, please. Straight away, you're going bang, cobra. Tiger, cobra, anything like that, yeah.

Asahi, if I've got it. You're not even quantum cracking in any other type of drink than I had a cold lager. No, no, it's kind of, well, unless I had to be somewhere. Did you know that super dry can't be sold in Japan?

Why is that? Because of super dry asahi. Okay. Is it like the TK Max, T. T.J. Max thing? What do you mean? As in like they can't be, Well, in the UK it's TK Max, but in the US it's TJ Max.

Yes, it just seems like a strange... TK Max is called TJ Max in the US. Is that what I just said? Yeah. Yes, that's what I said. Yeah, yeah. So it just seems like a real strict... Just give them TK Max.

Who is TK? No, but I think TJ was the original, and it came to the UK, and they couldn't call it TJ Max for some reason. Right, okay, so they'd have to go with TK Max. I wonder who's got the TK... The only TK I know is a bloke who used to present on Sky Poker, with Sarah. It was like an old...

Is that I still go with? Carpe? I think it probably got mashed into like Sky Sports 5 or Sky Sports 5 or Sky Sports tennis or something. It was one of those things where people would...

They'd kind of... They'd cajol you, but they'd encourage you to go on the Sky Poker website to do your poker matches, your online poker. But they'd have like a five-hour TV show where they would teach out

to play poker properly. It's quite... I'd call out the sound of it. Have you seen that online poker is now being completely and totally fucked by like bots and AI and stuff? Yeah, there's like rooms like laptops and it's all kind of like they're all basically having to, playing against each other basically. Why do they ruin each other's cards? I used to love playing online poker on Betfair back in the day. It was such good fun.

But it's so, the thing that gets me is it's kind of like, well, fine, like you do that. But, like, I just feel like there's easier ways to make money with your computer. You don't need, you know, 50 computers in a room, in a really hot room. What's the easiest way to make money on the computer? I'm just asking for a mate. I don't know. It's probably a pretty blackmail, isn't it? It's fucking not podcast.

I'll tell you that. I'll tell you that for free. By the way, changing trains. I saw this story the other day and I thought of you. Have you seen this cow using a brush? Oh yeah, so they reckon that cows are more cleverer than they originally thought, which upsets me in many different ways. But, this cow was policy, isn't it?

Rick Ed was, Rick Ed was, I'm seeing Rick for lunch tomorrow, and I'm going to put it to him. He's on record as saying that he won't eat animals that are above a certain amount of intelligence. Right. So I'm going to let him all over the steak at lunch, and I'm going to say, have you seen this story, Rick? I've seen this cow. That was the cow you just ate. He's using a bloody brunt. broom on himself for crying out loud.

For those who haven't seen the story, there's this cow called Veronica in Austria. Veronica. Why are you giving, why you're nearing a cow? Like, what, what reason can you have to name a cow?

She uses sticks, rakes and brooms to scratch herself, right? Yeah. Now, they're framing this as, we never thought an animal of this type would be able to, quote,

use tools. Yeah. And then they're comparing it like a chimpanzee using a stick to get fruit out of a box, right? Right. Yeah. Is it the same? I mean, is it the same? I mean, I don't know.

It depends on whether it depends on how into, because I can, I, I'm not that good at scratching myself with a broom. I'd find that quite difficult. They're calling it, they're calling it using a multi, a cow using a multi-purpose tool. I'm not on board with it. Because like chimpanzees, they use tools, don't they? Like chimpanzees, orangutans, you know, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, The COVID family's very intelligent, yeah.

Right, yeah. I just think that, I mean, pound for pound, they should have enough brain power to do that because they're bloody massive, aren't they? Yeah, I think people always just thought of cows as stupid. I think when you're getting away with, when a farmer or, you know, a surgeon, like a veterinarian, is getting away with drilling a hole in a cow's stomach

and just allowing, you know, allowing the, you know, little viewing window for what's going on in his stomach and the cow just doesn't seem that bothered about it, I think that's a silly animal. And sometimes you don't you have to like burp them sometimes? You've got to drill a hole to let the air out because sometimes their body

just sort of like all, bleh. That sounds like a sort of thing a madman would say. What are you doing to the cow? I need to drill into his stomach to get the burps out. You do have to do that. You do have to drill into their stomach sometimes they're in so much distress because they just cannot expel the air. It's like burp and a baby, but in a really extreme way.

they just drill a big hole. I also think there needs to be a threshold because I think that like, I think it's very, it's too easy to extrapolate. Now people are saying cows can use tools. No, our cow can use a tool.

A cow can use a tool. A cow can use it. I need, what's the cut off? There needs to be a load more than one for it to be a thing. But maybe this is the first time a cow has gained access to a broom.

You know, I don't, I don't know why you'd need a broom near a cow, maybe mucking out, but surely, you know. He's used a rake as well. They shouldn't have access

to a broom. she. Yeah, have some, I've some respect to them. I've not contributed into the erasure of a bovine-based feminism. Straight away. Yeah, you're basically the bovine andrew Tate. The upset his scoundbag. His owner, Veronica's owner,

Vigar Vigale, says he hopes her unexpected talent will inspire people to value the natural world. Right. A cow with a brush. What's his job? What's his job? Does he kill animals for money? He's just a farmer. Yeah, he's just a farmer. He kills animals for money. He can't kill that one, can't? He can't kill that one?

now. He's made a rod for his own back there. He's made a broom for a cow's back there. Are you broadly on board with the American new found obsession with the full fat milk? I mean it's one of the

more benign ideas that RFK has come up with. I'll give him that. Apart from letting previously eradicated diseases rip through children's nurseries and he's jumped the shark. Tell him people to to inject fucking ill-advised stuff to

combat COVID and talking about his brainworm whole milk was a welcome departure almost like a holiday from his usual shit it's a debaverage room as usual milk it's also very important good on him we inadvertently of course angered the the raw milk

guys throws on YouTube the raw milk top Gs on YouTube by saying that raw milk is generally a bad idea which I read a stat I read a stat it was like they make up, the raw milk obsessives make up 98% of all US milk-based admissions, milk-based kind of, you know, problems with milk supply. They make up 98% people who drink raw milk.

As I repeatedly say, and as I saw that dairy farmer on TV say a while back, right, he was basically saying, raw milk is a bad idea, I'll tell you why, come to my farm, it is disgusting. I've got 70 cows. It is disgusting. Yeah. I mean, like, you, you, it's just your body just can't do with it. Also, like, the whole thing comes from when people used to be subsistence farmers.

So they would have one or two cows. And they would use that. And that was that, right. The very idea that it's a good idea to drink raw milk is, is a very, very poor one. And I do live in a household with a scientist. I don't know why you would be able to. get health insurance if you're doing that. Do you know what I mean?

If I modify, it's on the list of things you can't do it. They would have ducked out of that. They would have fucking made an excuse not to pay based on raw milk before you could blink. Do you reckon? Yeah. Yeah.

So, because like I can, you know, if you modify your car, you have to inform the insurance company. If you do anything, you got, you know, if your circumstances have changed, you have to inform your insurance company. And good God, like,

if you're in a situation where you're hoovering up raw milk, And God knows what else you're putting in your body. Probably steroids at the same time. I love it when like this administration is doing such ridiculous stuff, like unprecedented, at best, unhelpful shit that may well cause the entire collapse of the established Western order. And at the same time, they're doing public information stuff about milk. It's like, which is just so benign. It's such a 70s and 80s throwback.

It's such a, it's clearly a milk lobby stuff. I'm feeling like, it's clearly a milk lobby's been around and very effective for 50s. the years? Yeah, and they're doing and they're doing that and they've clearly put a bit of money behind this. But yeah, people were sort of talking about it was an RFK junior, raw milk campaign that basically was lawyered out of him and then became

because money had been spent a whole milk Oh, is that what happened? I don't think so. Apparently it's just just the, they will have out of plan this to the letter anyway. So it's probably just the milk lobby wanting their pound of cheese. For once, what's worth, I, we are actually, I mean, my son drinks whole milk.

We're a whole milk family. I'm a semi-skim guy. Right. So what, so you get both options for the house? Correct. Right. Well, I love whole milk and a porridge. My wife, even that, my wife has cream in her coffee.

He's American. Nice. Yeah. So, but I'm not against whole milk. I think it's a little bit creamy for my personal taste, particularly in a cup of tea. It tastes a bit weird than a cup of tea. I'm just having a full ball of cereal, I was semi-skemish. semi-skimmed all my,

all my life, and then now daughters are here. We've got to have your full fat. They need the fat content. Right, very quickly before we go, Peter, because I know you've got to go do something. I want to finish with this email from Tom. Okay.

It's a follow-up about soup adverts in books. Now, people will remember that we talked about Terry Pratchett leaving his publisher because they were putting adverts in his text, which is mental. But Tom said, Hi, guys, just listening to you on the show and the Super Adverts and Books episodes. I grew up in Luxembourg in the 90s.

Bilingual with a lot of German-speaking friends. As teens, well into fantasy and sci-fi, we'd get a lot of these Terry Pratchett-type books in German. The story about Pratchett has brought back long-buried memories I'd totally forgotten. Hainey, the aforementioned German publisher, used to bring out a lot of the fantasy sci-fi stuff back then, and yes, there would be a break in the paragraph,

and they would then integrate a little of the story to set the scene for soup adverts. Soup in particular. I can't remember if it was Canor or Maggie, but it was one of the big packet soup slash processed food companies in Europe. It used to drive me absolutely mad as the transition was actually very subtle

and always caught me out. I'd find myself reeling about some space dude hero cracking open a cup of soup after saving the day. I reckon it must have been a relatively short-lived campaign that got shut down by the German equivalent of offcom. I can't remember seeing them the late 90s, but by that time I was back in the UK and happily spending my money in Waterstones.

That guy who said he could recognise if someone peed down the sink, by the way, he must have been a plumber dealing with student halls of residence, which I guess is probably where it happens like. He said, I love your show. I've been keeping up over the years after both of you became dads at the same time as me. I've sent a couple of batteries in over the years, and with all my daughter's horrible bleeping and booping toys, I'm sure to find some more. Keep up the good work, cheers, Tom.

a listener who can actually remember soup adverts in books. Terry Pratchett's soup adverts, yeah. I will have to find, like, because somebody will have uploaded it online somewhere, the Terry Pratt's soup adverts. I would be so annoyed if I was the author. Did they mainly do it in foreign languages that he didn't speak? Well, that probably wouldn't pay best.

Yeah, and also like why would... Seems like you'd find out quite late on, yeah. Yeah, I don't know why soup companies in particular were, Maybe they just had a personal relationship with Nor or whatever, but why they would have, why the soup people would want to be, you know, involved? Why would they want that? Like, ruining a beloved book.

Yeah. I guess they felt like it was so subtle. They just backed themselves. Yeah, backed themselves to weave it into the story. Well, if any of our listeners have got a book, because you're buying that book, right? It's in there forever. Yeah.

It's not like a transient thing, like a TV advert or something. No, no. If anyone of our listeners has personally experienced it as well, and they've got pictorial evidence, please send it in, and we will absolutely read it out. All right, Peter, take us out of here, please. We have been the Luke and Pete Show.

You've been wonderful. If you want to get to the show, please do so. Get your battery saying, hello, linkpeachio.com is the way to do that. We'll be back on Monday. Take care of yourselves this weekend, look after one another, and we'll see you then. Goodbye. The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production

and part of the Acast Creator Network. Thank you.