The Luke and Pete Show - A Glitching House Move

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

On today’s show, Pete soft-in-the-middle Donaldson tells us all about the glitches involved in moving house, before the boys begin a philosophical chat involving a ‘real dog shit sandwich’.Also on today’s episode, we hear news about a man posting cash through random letterboxes, a testicle epidemic, and a slightly heated discussion about who the real sidekick is on the show. Don’t miss out!Come and get involved over on our new Instagram page @lukeandpeteshow where there's loads of additional content being uploaded! Or drop us an email over at [e-mail] with your latest funny news for the boys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Donnie gone give it to ya, he gone give it to ya, Donnie gone give it to ya, he gone give it to ya Why am I soft in the middle then? That is a lyric from Paul Simon I'm not Paul Simon, I'm Pete Donaldson And this is Luke and Pete's show How you doing Luke Mo, what's going on? Er, not much, but I'm good and I'm pleased I always knew you were the soft centre, I just always knew it. I suspected it.

Do you remember Mr. Soft? Soft underbelly. Do you remember Mr. Soft? He used to walk down the street and his entire world was soft. There were cats. If you watch that again now. There were bits of fence that was soft. If you watch that again now, it is weird.

What do you mean it's weird? So much of that kind of... There was definitely a period of kids' TV shows in like the 80s where it was like the people who were writing them were high. And I think that Soft Mint advert is probably a similar type vibe. It just looks really weird now.

But it's that pre, it's the sort of thing that nowadays, like the Leopach man with his big trombone, he'd be CGI now, and he wasn't back then. He was made of, well, plasticine that looked like butter. Yeah. Was that made by the same studio that made your morphs?

I don't know. Could it have been the Aardman animation people? You just don't know. They're doing an advert now, aren't they? The old Aardmans? What are they selling out? They're doing a DFS advert with Wallace and Gromit. Oh, yes, of course, Wallace and Gromit. Look, he's got to make that mad paper somehow, even if he is mid-plaster scene.

It's going to be a lot of money to get hard man to do a Wallace and Gromit advert, I'm telling you. Do you remember the... Could they not just copy it? Could they not just do like a B-Jams kind of like down-the-market version of Wallace and Gromit? I wouldn't have thought so. There must be a lot of IP fucking trademarks there.

It's just this horrible... I'd love to make a little plasticine off-market version of those characters and do a little animation. That would be a lovely little Luke and Pete show project. Did you used to like Heartbeat back in the day? I did, yeah. It was a more gentle experience than something at art attack but tony hart could make some amazing stuff like he could make like some really um effective cool pictures um with very very little

effort all he was he was he was such a talented bloke and such a softly spoken kind of pleasant individual um and yeah 20 30 years after his death um he's not been outed as a wrong and so i can probably say that with with i could say that right there's an artist then donny because you're much more artistically disposed than me i think he was rated as being a yeah very talented uh man he probably, yeah, he probably could. I'm fairly certain his stuff sold for decent money in the end. Like those people who bought the Rolf Harris ones and got absolutely mugged off by his crimes. Yeah, they used to have a permanent exhibition

at the West Quay Shopping Centre in Southampton, Rolf Harris. But Tony Hart only died in 2009, aged 83. I just looked it up. Is that true? Oh, 2009. why did I think I was in college oh might have been Rod Hull Rod Hull died a little earlier didn't he completely different discipline though what do you mean

same part of my heart he was an artist he was just a bit more up front than old Tony Hart Neil Buchanan in Art Attack was the up he was just a bit you know he's a bit a bit more up front than uh than old tony hart neil buchanan attack was the uh was the upstart was the childish upstart tony hart a lot more class about him he's in a punk band he was in a punk band i think he's still in a punk band actually like a kind of hard rock kind of punk band it's just i don't reckon they're

very good he wasn't that the big shout that um that neil Neil Buchanan owned the right start attack? So he's obviously going to be absolutely minted. It's like, who's buying that IP? Who's buying that IP? It's not who wants to be a millionaire. Like you can translate it, but you may as well make your own version. Yeah. Also, it's like, oh yeah, you watch like a countdown show of the top 100 most valuable brands. Number one, Art Attack.

Number two, Coca-Cola. Number three, Apple. Art Attack's right up there. Buchanan just fucking lured me up. Oh, mate. So, Luke, someone in... Basically, in San Francisco, I was just watching this video.

The internet went down. So while I was setting up the session, or while Natalie, because Natalie was setting up the session, I checked out this video video someone has managed to transport an entire 140 year old victorian mansion down the street in san francisco and it is the most astonishing sight i've ever seen in my life i've seen houses being moved before i probably some kind of hydraulic lifts but it managed to pick up the entire bloody thing

and just move it down the road and it's cost it took six hours and it's quick it's not like a slow kind of like you know um uh kind of uh time lapse a bit of photography of this thing going down the road people are watching it and they're just kind of steering it around like it's a like it's a flat bed truck or something donny well the point of it, Donny? Well, the home's new neighbour, a former mortuary, was previously moved 12 feet toward the lot line to make room for the new Englander house. So they've had to have moved a former mortuary and they're going to combine it.

And yeah, they're just going to kind of edit the seven pieces of social, not social housing, very expensive housing. So yeah, it's not as romantic as you think, seven pieces of social, not social housing, very expensive housing. So, yeah. Right. It's not as romantic as you think, but it's an incredible kind of undertaking. $400,000 to move a house on a remote-controlled hydraulic dolly. Fantastic.

You'd be up for that, wouldn't you? Oh, but it looks like a house just going down the road. You remember when, was it a school? Like a pedophile dressed up as a school in the day-to-day. It looks like that because it's kind of going down the street, being pulled by a big truck. It's brilliant. If I said to you, Donny, if I said to you,

here's a voucher for Christmas, a $400,000 voucher for a house moving company, whose house would you move? Oh, that's a good point. The man down the road who just spends all of his time outside his house. I'd like to move his house when he's dicking about outside my house. And then when he comes back, he'd be like, where the fuck's my house gone?

I'd go, well, you should have stayed in it and you would know where it is, prick. I would put a move mine because our cats wouldn't know where to go. They get really confused. They're continually going to the wrong house all the time. I'd like to move the house forward as the dog's trying to get out. Just move the house a bit more forward. I keep moving it forward. And he's just really confused.

He's going, I swear. It's like you're playing counter-striking and you're glitching because your internet's fucked oh speaking of that i meant to ask you actually what's the latest with that game that everyone was crazy about that we kept having the blokes with their penises out oh cyberpunk 27 7 um um some well the the latest story of that particular sorry tale is that hackers have managed to hack into Project Red's servers and they've got the source code, which is incredibly valuable. Well, I don't know. Some hackers just got involved and they're selling it to the highest bidder.

They've already released the source code to Gwent, the most unlovable part of their IP collection. But yeah, I mean, this is like millions and millions and millions and millions of pounds worth of IP and source code. So yeah, I mean, that is an expensive bit of... Is it fair to say this release hasn't gone as they'd hoped? I can't help but think that if the release had gone better and they hadn't tried to just release it too early, that they wouldn't be such a prize for the hackers but um

hackers be hacking because because you know people work on products and they they they hope they're well received and they hope to do well and for every kind of seismic new development like the iphone there's always going to be you know your your ponos and your creative zens right and it doesn't quite work but i don't think at any point despite the fact that neil young's pono was quite poorly received and actually ended up going out of production i don't think at any point he actually lost the ownership of it and no longer knows where it is yeah that's quite that's quite for long. Because a lot of video games that were released 20 years ago, 10 years ago, companies are allowed to re-release them

and redo them and upgrade them for later video game systems. But if the source code gets released out into the wild, anyone can do it. That's it, right? Anyone can convert it. It's the crown jewels. It's the crown jewels. It's the whole thing. It's what you're buying when you buy something like that.

So it's, yeah, because when you're provided with a video game, it's all in machine code, and it's very hard to reverse engineer that and turn that into something you can modify or change or translate to other systems. So, yeah, it's a real dog shit sandwich for them to be quite frank. Do you reckon there's a source code to the universe? Where's that come from? That's too big for the Luke and Pete show.

Like a formula that creates a random generation code, like a random hash. I think that the idea that the universe is a massive computer program is as of is as likely as any other um explanation yeah but there's a lot of other likely rep uh you know um solutions that there's a lot of different kind of versions of what you're talking about so it may be as likely, but there's a lot of other variations on that theme as well. But what I'm saying is, so video games, for example, if you use them as the basis for your theory,

video games are getting so good now that it isn't ridiculous to imagine that in 50 years' time, which is the blink of an eye in universal terms, that they will be unrecognisable from reality. You won't be able to distinguish between them. Did you see the guy with his knob out on that game? Yeah, I'm not saying we're there yet. Does that look like a polished product to you? I'm not saying we're there yet.

And the very existence of someone like you. I've helped. Exactly. I prove. I'm the exception that proves the fact that they were going to be in a video game pretty soon because I've always got my knob out. Yeah. I just think it's possible. i don't i don't see why people turn their noses up on it i mean like it's all very well for people to believe that you know the

creator of the universe interferes in the universe sometimes and sends his son down to do stuff who's also himself and now he doesn't do it anymore but he might do and if you read the book and you think about it enough you you'll do this if you eat a wafer you're gonna go to heaven it's all mad the whole stuff yeah everything's mad so why is this even more mad it's not you come out your house and you and you see a san franciscan victorian home coming towards you down the road you're probably like someone's someone's been fucking about with the code here so someone's got the source code. Someone's got the source code and they're messing around. We got hacked. Do you remember when we got hacked?

Vaguely. That's your department. One of our products, one of their social medias got hacked, except they didn't. Someone who worked with us just gave them the details through a phishing attack. Don't tell them about our weaknesses and our armory.

We're very phishable. Come on. I mean, ease of age as well, lordy. But yeah, and I got a text. I don't know how they got my phone number, but I got a text from going, I am Polish hacker, ha ha, thousand pounds.

Yeah. It was a really silly hacker yeah that's probably that's why we got released um we will negotiate with terrorists um yeah so so it just made me laugh that they were like they weren't good enough for us like we re we got access to it almost immediately um and and i didn't pay the money so just we were so lucky that we got a bad hacker speaking of giving away money I read a story the other day that there's a guy well they say it's a mystery man

I suppose it could be a woman the police are looking for a mystery man who has been hanging around the town of Froome in Somerset do you know it? I don't know Somerset well it's a beautiful part of the world wait for Glass Bridge to start in Somerset, do you know it? I don't know Somerset well. Somerset is lovely. It's a beautiful part of the world.

Wait for Glastonbury to start? Say again? Wait for Glastonbury to start? It's not too far from Glastonbury, to be honest. It's not too far. You might wait a while for Glastonbury now, though, because I don't think it's going to be this summer, is it? So you're looking at another year and a bit.

But anyway, I remember when Glastonbury was like, you got the piss taken out of you for going to Glastonbury. And now it's the most fashionable thing in the world. People used to think you were a crusty, kind of unwashed hippie if you went to Glastonbury. Most people didn't even know what Glastonbury was in the 90s. And now they did, but you know what I mean?

No one went. And not in the mainstream. And now it's the most mainstream thing possible. Anyway, I digress. In Froome, which isn't too far from Glastonbury well pointed out there is a man who has been posting cash through random letter boxes um saying uh the the statement was that froom neighborhood policing team have received reports of a mail oh it is a mail posting sums of money and letters through doors in the community we We are keen to speak to this mail and ascertain the reasoning behind this act.

Didn't Britney Spears do that? Can't be a crime, can it? Is it a crime? Mario Balotelli did it. Britney Spears did it. I watched the Britney Spears documentary last week. Jesse Pinkman did it in Breaking Bad. Did he? Did he? OK. He used to drive around Napers chucking money out the sun. Well, there you go.

Well, look, I mean, outside Oscars on York Road in Hartlepool, they used to have seats in the window whenever there was a football match on. People used to glue pound coins to the pavement outside Oscars and the lads would drink a beer and have a little giggle. People trying to kick things over. Well, there's precedent for this happening, apparently. Up in County Durham, this has happened before, packets of banknotes

up to £2,000 at a time started cropping up all over the place, apparently. And then there was an investigation. I'm not really sure why the police are involved, but anyway, they were in this case as well. And then these two people came forward and said it was them. Yeah, I bet involved. But anyway, they were in this case as well. And then these two people came forward and said it was them.

Yeah, I bet it was. I'd tell you it was me as well. Lovely bit of press. Is that tax deductible? Well, this is the thing. I don't really know what the protocol is. I do remember, however, finding, I think, a £20 note when I was about 14 and being told by almost certainly my mum, my dad would never have told me to do this,

said, I'll take it to the police station. I took it to the police station, got a little receipt and a crime reference number, whatever it is, and they said, if no one claims it in six months, you can have it. And six months later, I was able to have £20. I'm glad you remembered that. Yeah. Well, listen, £20 when you're 14 is quite a lot of money.

Yeah, definitely. But I don't, I mean, to me, it's not a crime. I don't know what the police are involved. Just let people get on with it. Well, I think, yeah, but I think you've got to think, well, could this be related to a crime, money laundering? There's, you know, trying to, maybe it's forgeries. Maybe it's this, maybe it's that. So, Pete, I think under UK anti-money laundering there's you know trying to uh maybe it's forgeries maybe it's this maybe it's that i think under uk anti-money laundering law if you've got an amount of money that's more than

10 grand i think you under law you i think you have to explain be able to explain where it's come from yeah they would just say that woman who was um was she in she was in and out of harrods buying this and that um and she lived over the road, I think. And she, I think it was the first time they just had a lot of money confiscated. That's right. Wasn't she the wife of some despot though? Yes, yeah.

It was pretty obvious where the money had come from. Yeah, she kept spending money in Harrods and they just, after a while, they said, look, you just spent a million quid. We want to know where that's come from. She's like, mind your own business. And then they nicked her. We'll have that then.

Yeah. It seems amazing that then. Yeah. It seems amazing that a country could score, nah, we're having that. Thank you very much. You can't explain where the money came from. I suppose the world

is so complicated these days that I guess it has to happen but I can imagine it's the kind of law that a hundred years ago you'd be like, get fucked. Mind your own business.

What do you think? I'd be like, I don't have to explain where that money comes from i've just got to tell you that i'm making shit loads out of computers so it's funny um should we should we do some battery brands then go to a break i just want to get these battery brands done because we do them every thursday and then we can have a little break and then we'll do some emails so adam on twitter sent in a dm egc, which he claims is quite possibly the most boring battery

brand ever. But I don't think we've seen it before, so I think it might be a new player. Yeah, okay. No, I'm not familiar with that one, to be honest. Fergie on Twitter sent in some Tinko batteries. Tinko? Is that like Tinko, the TV show from the 80s? Wow. Yeah, but with an I, and I think they're new players as well. Has on Twitter sent us some Pear Deer. We've seen loads of them. They're not a new player. So two new players and one

non-new player. But thank you for sending them in. You get them all the time when you buy new electronic goods. And we're always looking for new ones. I think there's probably more brands of batteries than there are of anything else in the world. Yeah. I mean, every electrical component has a little brand to it so fair dues i i would call mine nasty cells like get a bit of sex appeal in there like nasty nasty cell nasty cells there's like like like like dura cells but

nasty cells i like that i'd definitely buy them. For your nastiest machines. I don't think I'd get much brand loyalty out of that. No, nobody wants to admit they're buying nasty cells. If you're going to brand a battery, you want it to sound sensible, responsible, long-lasting. Nasty cell basic.

Nasty cell budget. Yeah, nasty cell basics. That's what we should have called this show well we are two incels in a room i suppose yeah are we incels would you think if we were young we'd be incels um i if by reputation if not by actual um i didn't have much success with the ladies so yeah probably would be a bit of an incel I hated myself more than anyone else though to be honest I appear to get a lot of attention from incels on the internet so I'm wondering if they

see something of me in themselves smell of a kinship yeah maybe I'm king incel yeah exactly we'll be back after this this week at Sukarnov Yeah, exactly. All right, then. We'll be back after this. This week at Sukarnov.

On the Luke and Pete show, Luke introduced me to some bizarre animal warfare. In the 70s, there was a... I can't look at the say this, but I promise you it's true. There was a war, an actual war, between rival chimpanzee clans that went on for over four years. Meanwhile, on abroad in Japan, Chris is facing off against a natural disaster. To the same day that I'd run out of fuel, right, I was like, well, I made it in one piece.

Thank you, God. And then, like, five hours later, the worst earthquake I've ever experienced. It was a 15-storey building shaking from side to side. It went on so long, I was like, this hotel's coming down. I don't want to be in it when it does. Listen to Abroad in Japan and the Luke and Pete show available on your favourite podcast player.

All that and a whole lot more at Succar North. And we weren't lying. Talking about being in cells. Oh, dear. And check us out on Twitter as well, at LukeandPeteShow as well. He's always popping this and that up there, little videos of us in our bedrooms, talking about being in cells and battery brands. Nasty cells, the cells you can trust to be nasty. We've got an email here from Chris. He's emailed us in at helloatlukeandpeteshow.com, and he says,

Hi, guys. I'm studying my master's degree in audio technology but as a day job i teach music and i realized recently that one of the more popular music exam boards has started to offer graded exams in podcasting all the way oh no all the way from debut grade to grade eight he says do you lads reckon you could do your grade eight exam in podcasting might be good for the cv uh if this uh podcasting for you goes tits up all the best chris what i mean they literally just ask one question and i'd fail immediately what is what is what's the itunes podcast chart i don't fucking know i don't know how you get it called itunes anymore is it not all right it's called apple podcast chat yeah i have no idea what it takes to get really high on those charts

it's inexplicable by the by i mean apart from the idea that i understand you could um you know teach about audio and how to record it and all the tech stuff which would basically come along as part of a standard kind of you know audio degree anyway i have no idea what you're teaching in podcast i mean to me to me that seems absolutely absurd but i mean i guess it's it's it's a it's a specialized form of audio and there are different ways i guess it kind of wouldn't it'd be one of those kind of courses and it was the same as my course at montfort university where it was just uh i was doing animation i was doing life drawing i was doing watercolors and then i was doing hardcore sql database management and programming and java server pages and stuff it's all they do

is they just make a course from a different millions of different places and they um and and they just take a module from here a module from here and the module from here and they call it a podcast course it'll be audio production narrative storytelling all that business how to mic up a human when they can't mic up themselves uh and all that stuff really i suppose it's uh i suppose it'd be like that that's what i would do if i was a university dean well if there's any any consolation to any of you listening out there who want to do a successful podcast i mean everything pete's just described there i understood probably 50 percent of it and i can't do any of it so don't let it hold you back is what i would say yeah i'm grade eight violin grade grade one violin grade eight podcasting yeah i've also got another

email here that i'd like to do about, it actually follows up on something you said on Monday, how it works out in China with podcasting, but it's from Tom, who is also known to our regular listeners

and to the Luke and Pete show community as Dildo Dadman. Dildo Dadman. Yes. Come on. Go back and listen to an earlier episode where he found a big dildo in his dad's bedside table. Tom says,

Hi, finally a topic I can bring something useful to. The only previous email of mine was regarding my dad's dildo. So it's nice to put that one to bed, metaphorically speaking. Oh, no. Never staying bad, dildo. I mean, Tom, please do give us an update on that i mean for goodness sake can you just chuck that out there let's let us know what's happened with it jesus let's let's make a big podcast about it my dad's got a dildo come on yeah brilliant

it would my dad's got a dildo it'd work really well yeah yeah um in the most recent episode tom says you started discussing china and apple stores um he says i've been living and working in shangdu for a couple of years now with a lovely girlfriend that i have access to um luke correctly pointed out there was a huge number of fake apple stores spread all over china in chengdu there's an apple store on every street however there is only one official apple store in the city uh the part that luke got wrong lies in the quality it becomes very clear that these shops are fake when most of the stuff they sell is not actually apple at all and i've even seen examples with apple is not spelt correctly on the shop front so there are many examples of this throughout china um such

as the well-known brands new ballon and neek instead of nike um it's very strange that english both correct and incorrect can be seen everywhere China, even though no one really speaks it. And Tom says, my girlfriend told me the English words come with a perception of higher brand prestige, basically. He says, my final point is regarding your listenership in China. I've been a listener since the beginning and listened to pretty much everything from Stakhanov. So thanks for helping to fill my days. I've managed to pass the podcast on to at least five other listeners, so I can confirm you have at least a hamper in China. But as Pete correctly pointed out, a VPN is usually required,

as a huge number of well-known sites such as BBC, Google, and Wikipedia are completely blocked. Interestingly to Stakhanov, though, most other shows, such as the Football Ramble, can be accessed without the use of a VPN. However, the Luke and Pete show has been blacklisted and does require VPN usage. This means a government official was listening to a show probably about Pete's nipples, strange dads,

and live consumption of Nintendo Switch games and thought, no way, this will really poison the mind of our 1.4 billion citizens. Keep up the great work, Tom. I mean, I would say that how can we how can we get it back in because on the last show somebody reported that you didn't need a vpn to listen to lucan beach which is very interesting so maybe it varies from prefecture to prefecture and i just like the fact that we would have to get back into the uh the good books of the ccp um with uh just

basically you know they do you know when they re-edit or rather nowadays pretty much every hollywood film has a third act or a second act that's set in china or they put chinese actors in there we never see that over over in england or the west um we just have to have the lucan p and chinese blog show so'll just, to get back into their good books, so we don't have to be accessed by VPN. We'll just have this kind of really handsome, devastatingly kind of interesting, and actually this all sounds great.

Really handsome, interesting, exciting, talented Chinese man. And yeah, a woman, and yeah, we'll get back in their good books. So put that on the slate natalie and yeah we'll find a chinese can you get that sorted for next week please can you find us um can i can i ask a really basic question that is do do do the chinese and the japanese not like each other very much is there a rivalry there's a certain animosity yeah but i know there was i know there has been in the past but does it still prevail to this day? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my experience of Japanese exceptionalism or perceived self-exceptionalism extends to the Koreans, the Taiwanese, everyone.

Because I was just thinking- The Singaporeans. If we're eating Nintendo Switch games, surely perhaps the CCP might see that as a positive. Oh, it's like book burning. We're eating a copy of like Super Mario. We're consuming the products of Japan's most successful export. Yeah, but fundamentally we've filled their coffers already. That's true.

Can I just read one more? I know I've done a lot, but I just really want to read one more email because I don't want this to go by the wayside because it's a really good one. It's from Craig. Luke, I have always been London Radio's greatest sidekick, or one of the top 10. Have we never got to the bottom of who's the sidekick on this show, ever?

Yeah, well, I don't know. When it goes badly, it's you. Sorry, when it goes badly, it's me. When it goes well, you're the sidekick and i'm very much the driving seat i think i'm the identikit kind of loud mouth i think that people listen for you really so i think i'm probably the sidekick to be honest i'm the i'm the conduit that provides the listeners with the peak they've got access to i think i'm the beat they've got access to that's a title for a podcast the peat they've got or the pod they've got access to that's the title for a podcast the Pete they've got, or the pod they've got

access to, nice people love having access to the bit of the Donny anyway, so this is from Craig it's an interesting one he says, I was listening to one of your Football Roundball episodes where Luke was discussing sports players who've been injured or suffered

a dislocation and then popped that particular part of the body back in and carried on sports players who've been injured or suffered a dislocation and then pop their you know pop that particular part of the body back in and carried on right i know you don't like this which is why i'm reading it but i i don't know if you're on that show people i talked about the goal for tony finn how do you remember he popped his ankle back in yeah and if yeah it was a video you hated it it was yeah i hated it he just but he was so businesslike about it so that's not supposed to be there it was like it was was just readjusting a spice rack. Right back in there.

He said, but Craig goes on to say the Tony Finau example is a good one, but there's a sportsman he thinks that takes popping it back in to another level. And Craig picks up the story by saying, let me introduce you to Wayne Thomas Buck Shelford. Buck captained the All Blacks in the late 80s and was known generally for being a seriously hard bastard. He was also controversially dropped from the All Blacks in the early 90s, which caused uproar among the New Zealand public

and prompted signs being held up in the crowd of all the All Blacks games saying, Bring back Buck. And you can actually still see these signs often held up at sporting events today. Buck gained his reputation as a hard bastard during his debut for the All Blacks against France in the famous Battle of Nantes, which was a particularly brutal game. 20 minutes in, Buck was caught at the bottom of a ruck

and an errant French boot tore his scrotum open, leaving his testicle hanging out and he also lost four teeth in the process. He calmly asked the physio to stitch him back up and pop it back in, and he returned to the field of play. Unfortunately, he was forced off after a blow to the head later on, which caused a concussion. But I believe this testicle action to be the ultimate popping it back in. Big love, Craig.

I don't think I've ever seen the inside of a testicle and I don't or rather the inside of a scrotum what do you reckon it looks like like a little stress ball two little brains two little

two little because it's just it's just little pipes and it's like a little it's like a very complex radiator you know those little cocktail shots you used to get

called a a brain drain or something where you'd pour a little bit of Baileys into a Midori and it would look like a little brain. Oh, it would start to congeal, right. I reckon it was like that.

Yeah. People should email in, actually. Anyone who's listening, whether you're male, female, whether you've got access to testicles or not, let us know what you think the inside of a scrotum looks like. It just looks, it'd just be like little wires and little pipes. It would look like, you know when BT engineers open those little green things in the street? Yes, it would be like that, but not as colourful.

Just wires going hither and thither and sort of going, well, look, if one of those becomes unplugged, I wouldn't know how to get that back in or where it would go. But it wouldn't be as colourful as that, would it? No, it wouldn't smell of dog piss either, hopefully. Yours might. it no no it wouldn't smell of dog piss either hopefully yours might where's um um how often do you how often do you uh check the old testicles how often do you have access to the testicles i do well i i'm always sitting on i don't know whether i don't know what that's i've got a little sunroof that I'd gaze in. A little flat, yeah. Shine my phone light in there and have a little look.

Yeah, no, I don't really do it as often as I could, but to be honest, I'm always sitting on them. I'm always getting caught in things and they hurt. And so I'm only ever aware of them when I sit on them or I wake up and I've been wearing... I think I've not... I wear small boxer shorts and I don't think I'm small anymore. So they're just constantly just aching. Yes, this is a problem.

Which is a warning sign. So yeah, basically I think they get baggier the older you get. And also I think that you want to get a pant that keeps them in place but doesn't restrict them too much because I think there's probably a little bit, so apparently there's a bit of an epidemic brewing in terms of infertility in men, particularly in the West. Tight trousers, skinny jeans.

Could be to do with that. Could be to do with that. So you've got to be careful. You don't want to go too tight, but you also don't want to go too loose for the reasons you've listed. So yeah, listen, anyone's got any testicle chat, email it in, hello at lukeandpeachow.com.

And we'll advance this debate. Yes, please. Yes, please. We'll add to the historiography of this debate. Well, we've come to the end of another show. Sorry it ended on testicles. Enjoy editing that. Producer Natalie! That's the best ending we've done since that

five minutes we did on dog shit. It really is. If you want to get in touch with the show, it's really simple. Helloatlukeandpeachshow.com. You can find us on Instagram at LukeandPeteShow. You can also find us just dicking about on Twitter as well

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on Monday. We'll morrow this. See you later. Have a lovely weekend. Look after yourselves