The Luke and Pete Show - A Heavily Latexed Armadillo

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

On today's show, Luke wants to know which sexy beast Pete would morph into if he could. Meanwhile, Pete has some interesting thoughts on one poor man's wrong legged amputation...We've also got time for NEW PLAYERS, suitcases full of wires, surprise Stephen King novels and an x-ray version of Naked Attraction. SO MUCH NONSENSE!Get in touch! Drop us an email over at [e-mail] or give us a message on Instagram/Twitter @lukeandpeteshow. There's nothing we love more than hearing from you all! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Shaw on the 1st of July Happy birthday to Dan Aykroyd Miss Domina don't know who she is Lea Seydoux Princess Diana

Duchess of everything and Debbie Harry as well Lady Diana Lady Diana Your boys took one for beating Yeah I remember that Lady Diana Lady Chelsea boys. Took one. Hello for beating.

Yeah, remember that. Lady Diana. Lady Chelsea. She would have been 50. No. 60. Yeah. Princess Diana.

Yeah. No way 50. She would have been 60. No way, mate. Can't be 50. All right, fine. Yeah. Wouldn't put it past the royal family.

Anyway. Boom. It's the Luke and Pete show. It's a Thursday. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Luke Moore. Hello. Is that all you got?

How you doing? Is that all you got? I wanted to talk about Sexy Beasts. Sexy Beasts! Today. Okay. We're quite looking forward to it. Because I think you'll have some good takes on it.

Okay. So I'm not talking about the film Sexy Beasts. Okay, fine, fine, fine. With Ray Winston, which is a brilliant movie. And if you haven't seen it, you should definitely go and do so. I think that's on Netflix, actually. But what's also on Netflix

is a new dating show called Sexy Beasts. Oh, I've seen some screenshots of that. Yeah, and I think it's shocking to me because I am not a dating show guy, right? You guys know as well as I do that the closest I get to a dating show is 90 Day Fiancé, which Mimi likes to watch.

And I will get involved occasionally. That's not really a dating show. So your Love Islands, your whatever, I've not really seen. One of the things that is absolutely baffling is that show Naked Attraction. Do you remember that?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, that was... It's a little bit strong, isn't it? It's a bit... It's not saying anything for me. It started off saying something. It's not saying anything. What do you think about naked attraction

before we get into sexy beast? I think that the emailer from last week, who, Josh, I think his dad would be well up for it. Oh, yeah, he would. He'd be well up for it. Imagine if it was like naked attraction, but just x-rays.

X-rays, yeah. That would be interesting. What have I put on my bum? You'll find out now what congenital defects do I have that will make me a poor partner

long term you want these jeans you can have them anyway sexy beasts see single people dress up in ridiculous

outfits to test blind date chemistry if you haven't seen it, it's basically like dating with furries, right? Yeah, yeah it is,

yeah. Do you think everyone knows what furries are? Yeah, I mean anyone under 30 would and anyone over 30 doesn't want to know about it. Do you think anyone under 30 would? I don't know, furries is like a big thing on the internet about like 10 years ago. Yeah.

Some people are just normal. Just explain in a sense what furries are. People who love animals. Just people who are obsessed with... Sexy animals. Like the caramel bunnies. They want to be an animal. Not exactly,

but like more like ferocious sexual beasts. I thought it was more innocent than that. I thought it was like cutesy kind of animals and stuff. Yeah, but they've always got, in every drama, they've always got like a big bulge that is going to do something soon, isn't it? Put down their pants. Down their pant stuff. Yeah, but they've always got, in every drama, they've always got like a big bulge that is going to do something soon, isn't it? Put down their pants.

Put down their panties. Yeah. So Sexy Beast means, and one thing I would say is if you haven't seen the trailer, the prosthetics do look actually really well done. But it is like absolutely insane. And I watched the trailer of it

just after I watched that video that had been leaked that some absolute penis in the government wants kids to sing Strong Britain, Great Nation. So fucking Hitler. Yeah, so weird. And I don't think my body or my brain was ready for the one-two punch of both those things. Okay.

So I ended up thinking, I must be living in some kind of fucking hellscape. Strong Britain, kiss a hamster boy. Great Nation. Yeah, Great Nation. So would you, if you could choose your animal, what would you go on as? I'd be like a really heavily latexed armadillo or something. I'd just be like clonking about.

Protective shell. Protective shell so that no one gets to my emotions. Your emotions are never that far away from the surface though, are they? No. No, I keep most of my thoughts to myself you would you might find that very hard to believe it's i mean it's very similar this show to liverpool narcos what do you mean you you you're constantly uncovering a cashier feelings you think you've been hidden yeah exactly i just don't see what why this show exists, why it needs to happen. Have you read our iTunes reviews?

It just makes you feel old and makes you feel out of step with life. What do you mean? It's a little bit mask singer, it's a little bit mask dancer. But I don't get the mask singer either. But they just sort of go in. I don't get the mask dancer.

How's that even possible? Well, they're having a dance around. Yeah, but the whole point is with dancing, with singing, you can listen to the voice and the idea is... I just think the first week they should have just got rid of...

Right, look, one of them's going to be Ashley Banjo. One of them's going to be one of those dancers from Britain's Got Talent. What are they called? Exterminate.

Diversity. It's not exterminate. No. But I don't understand how you would even possibly be able to guess with the masked dancer. That's my point.

The masked singer, I get it. I think it's fucking dreadful, i get what it is the masked dancer smacks to me of someone in an agency who's had a lovely fucking time the night before going well dancing singing yeah exactly let's just do that masked woodworking yeah quite that exactly if you were familiar with people's previous woodwork you might be able to to guess. You know, it'd be like how the repair shop. Brilliant show, right? You get the guy who's always doing the woodwork on that.

You could probably think, well, do you know what? I've experienced and witnessed some of his earlier pieces. I think it might be this guy. That said... Masked Formula One. It doesn't really exist. No. It does.

I guess it does. Yeah, it does. But with the mask woodworking, I think you're probably limiting the pool of people you can get on. Right, okay, yeah, yeah. You need to be good at it. You've got to be slightly good at it. What did you make in woodworking again at school?

I remember drilling a mate's lighthouse. What do you mean? Sort of speaking. We've all done that. What did you do at woodworking school? I remember we used to have a school that was a quite newish kind of 80s school that they didn't really have doors,

so you could kind of start in your classroom and just do a fucking lap of everyone else's, ten of them. What? In a circle. How do you mean? They just didn't have doors. It was one of those new buildings. It was just like everything was open plan.

And so if I got bored doing whatever, I'd bet, you know, it was... You weren't a naughty kid, though, were you? No, I was just a fucking lazy kid. I was just a distracted kid. Yeah, I'd just do a lap, and I remember just going into somebody else's classroom, and I just found a bit of junk wood. I wasn't talking about this on the show before,

but I drilled into it with a hand drill, just because I was bored. And the teacher went, that is your friend Jonathan Mathwin's lighthouse. He spent ages making that, and he just drilled a hole in it. What's Jonathan doing now? Yeah, he's dead. Is he?

Is he actually dead? He died of leukemia when he was about six. It's very sad. Six? Yeah. How was he making a lighthouse if he was six? What do you mean? It wasn't an actual lighthouse.

It was just a bit of wood that resembled. It looked like it was a piece of crap, clearly, because I started drilling it. But he can't have been doing woodwork at five. He was. And he died at five. He was. And he died. He was very... Well, he clearly squeezed in a lot before he popped off.

I don't know. That's crazy. Yeah, crazy. That's made me a little bit upset. Oh, it was horrible. I was going to ask you a question. His head went massive. What?

A leukemia. It's fucking... You know, it's just... He came back. He gave through all the chemotherapy. He just came back and he just looked like a different kid. I was like, what the fuck is that? I used to go to, like, what the fuck is that?

I used to go to York with him, to the trains. Look at the trains. Big fans of the trains. You were good friends with him then? Yeah, yeah. Because you were friends with footballer Michael Brown as well. He just turned up when I was about 16. Had a little kick around.

Was he good? He was playing for Manchester City. He was alright, alright yeah you should have started that to him it was hard it really was Hartlepool was wild back in the day

sounds like it probably still is bearing in mind for those listening the only photos of you as a kid I've seen of one of you with an arm around a chimp

yep he was the mayor and one of you on top of a massive elephant yeah in Hartlepool I don't even know that's possible.

Yeah. I can remember my mum and dad having a big row when I was a kid because my dad wanted to take me to the circus and my mum said, no, it's cruel. And my dad literally, I can remember it now,

my dad opened the local newspaper with a picture of the circus and the picture was of a tiger riding a bike. Right. And my dad's saying he wouldn't be doing it if he didn't want to do it. It's a good point, isn't it? Yeah. And my mum's saying, you're not taking them.

And then I ended up not going because I got nits anyway. I got nits. You got nits? Yeah, so I couldn't go anywhere. Oh, no. I was fucking gutted as well. Yeah. I think my dad was just going to say.

See the tiger riding the bike. It's really interesting though, isn't it? as well. Yeah. I think my dad was just going to say... See the tiger riding the bike. It's really interesting though, isn't it? Because my dad

is a really environmentally conscious person. He loves the natural world. He loves animals. He used to get encyclopedias about animals all the time. We subscribed

to this really cool thing where you got a hardback book with loads of pictures in it about different... And the way it was separated out

was different parts of the animal kingdom so you could learn how the animals related to each other and what it was amazing and I think he saved up

to get it or he sent off for it or whatever at the same time in his mind the cognitive dissonance was so strong he still wanted to go

to a circus and watch these animals do this shit where else are you going to see them it's in the 80s I guess before crawls before it was bad yeah it's just a weird weird thing yeah are you going to see them? It's in the 80s, I guess. Yeah. Before crawls, these animals were bad. Before it was bad.

Yeah. So it's just a weird, weird thing. Yeah. I was going to ask you though, on lighthouses, I was having this debate with my mate the other day, I genuinely was,

because we were at, where was I? You were at Portland, weren't you? Yes, Portland. And you talked about it. Oh, Portland Bill. Oh, Portland Bill, yeah, yeah.

You talked about lighthouses, didn't you? And we couldn't work out whether they're actually being used or not anymore. You think everything would be like GPS and stuff? Maybe they're still used. I don't know. I haven't really found out.

I was planning to find out, but I never got a road to it. Is it kind of like... You know the lights? They rotated, didn't they, back in the day? I don't really know how it all worked. They had to get the fog horn. They're like telling you that the Earth is over there.

But the lights, is that kind of just no it wouldn't illuminate the sea would it that would be ridiculous but it wouldn't show you any of the shoreline it would just basically go

here's the lighthouse don't head towards that that's the land you idiot yeah that's basically what they're designed for do you know what a lighthouse is

no no that's basically what you've just described I thought it was just like a rocket ship that wouldn't go yeah stuck on the launch pad yeah no I didn't I think you've just described. I thought it was just like a rocket ship that wouldn't go. Yeah. Stuck on the launch pad.

Yeah. No, I think you've perfectly described a lighthouse there. Yes. Well done, mate. Finally. And the other thing that came up in the news this week that I wanted to talk to you about was a man who had a surgery in Austria, 82, already quite old.

But due to what the hospital are describing as human error, he had the wrong leg amputated. Oh, that's a shame. It put me in mind of the fact that whenever I've seen people who share photos when they're in hospital

or say they're having a knee operation or an ankle operation or whatever, do you ever notice that the surgeon in massive blue marker pen puts an arrow to the right one? Isn't that an amazing lesson for everyone to learn about how... Keep it simple.

Get the basics right. Do the basics right, right? Surgeons are known as being like, you know, out there and very confident and at the top of their game. If you're some kind of... Think of Eddie Clasale from ER. Who's that?

He's the bloke who did this in the titles. Who played him? Which actor? I only know it was Eric Claissal. I can't remember who he played.

He had a deaf son and that really brought him back down to earth from being this rock star surgeon. Eric Claissal. And he had a deaf kid and he was like

oh my god I've got to really re-evaluate my rock star credentials because now I've got to worry about another human being. Dr. Peter Benton. Dr. Peter Benton.

Do you remember Dr. Peter Benton? In the titles, he went, Yeah, hi-ya! Because he'd just done an amazing amputation of a leg. I remember thinking ER was fucking cool. Yeah. It was like a cool TV show. The coolest.

Dr. Green, he was in Top Gun, and then he just turns us on to that. He was Goose in Top Gun, wasn't he? Goose in Top Gun. I remember ER, before big high budget TV things were a big deal in

the UK like they are now that was like a big thing yeah it was on channel 4 but I think it was on prime time and people were like

massively into it George Clooney was in it yes yeah of course that was his first kind of role and he was very supportive of other cast members

I remember but yeah do you know who created her Juliana Margulies do you know who created her? Juliana Margulies. Do you know who created her? Hello. I don't remember her. A very beautiful woman.

Oh, I do remember her. Yeah, I do remember her. Do you know who created her? Was it? Oh, I'm on the Wikipedia as well. Michael Crichton. Michael Crichton. Michael Crichton.

Whenever I think of Michael Crichton, I don't think of Jurassic Park. I don't think of all those things. I think of Fatherland. Is it Fatherland? think of Jurassic Park. I don't think of all those things. I think of Fatherland. Is it Fatherland? Didn't he do that thing about if Hitler had continued? I think that's Robert Harris, isn't it? Shit!

Robert Harris, isn't it? He didn't do any of that. I mean, I don't know. He didn't write any of that, did he? I think he is. So Michael Crichton is Jurassic Park. Yes. He did The Andromeda Strain.

Right. He did an amazing book called Timeline. Is that a similar thing? Timeline? It was if Hitler continued his... No, Timeline is Is that a similar thing? Timeline? It was if Hitler continued his... No, Timeline is about people who discover how they can travel back in time with this kind of facsimile type thing.

Exactly. That's how I remember the Hitler story. That's what he did. What are you talking about? Hitler travelled back in time, didn't he? Where's this come from? Am I thinking of Michael Jeff Fox again? Anyway, Michael Crichton has done some amazing stuff

and I can't believe he managed to do ER as well. It's incredible. Yeah. It's incredible. I'd like to re-watch ER to see if it still stands up. He also wrote a book called

Electronic Life in 1983 saying that everyone should have a computer. Hmm. I agree. That's fair enough. I've just noticed

that Michael Crichton's dead. What? Oh, he died quite recently, didn't he? Died in 2008, Pete. Yeah, quite recently Yeah he died quite recently He died in 2008 Pete Yeah quite recently No he went back in time Died then

Apparently he was Died this week Apparently he was 6 foot 9 Shut up He was 6 foot 9 He was not 6 foot 9 That's incredible wasn't it You're thinking of

like a Diplodocus or something So Jurassic Park as a book is vastly different to the movie Right So in the book It's chickens

It's just loads of chickens It's not actually about dinosaurs It's just loads of chickens Yeah he just gets chickens back and a lot of them peck people the difference to the movie right so in the book it's not actually about dinosaurs yeah he just gets chickens back and a lot of them peck people

in Jurassic Park it's a lot more a lot darker a lot more people die a lot more brutal right obviously ah

what's that the computer guy Dennis Nedry Dennis Nedry I reckon you could ask me any question about Jurassic Park

and I'll know the answer right how many dinosaurs I don't know Dennis Nedry. Dennis Nedry, aha. I reckon you could ask me any question about Jurassic Park and I'll know the answer. Right. How many dinosaurs was he playing? I don't know. Another guy who's done so much stuff that you don't realise is Stephen King. Yeah.

Stephen King, like, you know all the big hits. Yeah. The heavy hitters. The big ones, the big hits after big hits, but he's done some other stuff as well. Didn't he give over a few, like, short stories completely free for filmmakers? Amateur filmmakers who tried to make their way in this world.

They could use a couple of his scripts completely free and make films out of it. It's a lovely touch. He's very socially responsible, I think. He's definitely one of those writers who didn't turn mad after all the success. Do you know that he did The Shining? Right. Did he? Yeah.

Shining's one of his. Yeah. And Christine. Yeah, but no, you're thinking of Carrie, aren't you? No, Christine. There's a car on it. Oh, yes. Remember? Yeah, okay.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my point is that everyone knows your miseries and your stans and all this kind of stuff. But he also did The Shining, which people never remember. Absolute legend. He's got a very interesting nose. Let me have a look. I'll have a quick look now.

Yes, he has, actually. He looks like one of the ghouls out of Fallout. What? He looks like what? He looks like one of the ghouls out of Fallout. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Which he also wrote, by the way.

Yeah. Well, look. I wish someone would fucking write it again. His son's a novelist, I think. Yeah, didn't he pretend that he wasn't Stephen King's son? Yeah, I don't think he wants any part of it. I don't think he wants a leg up. Yeah, okay.

He doesn't want the pressure. But now everyone knows. Yeah. It's like you being the son of David Beckham. yeah it's like you being the son of David Beckham I just started

reading one of the Mitford sisters I just started reading the book set in 1930s Germany yeah

called March Violets no you shouldn't be reading that March Violets by Philip Kerr right

really good good how do you find time probably because you haven't moved house recently how do you find time to Probably because you haven't moved house recently. How do you find

time to do anything? I've got a lot of bandwidth. Bandwidth. You like short circuit input. One thing you

haven't considered is that I am actually very clever. Right. Okay. Yes. I've got a lot

of bandwidth. You remember stuff. While we think about my bandwidth let's take a break. Yes please. When we come back

we're going to do some battery brands and then we're going to do some emails as well. So look forward to that. Oh, it's time for Batteries, Boys and Babes. Yeah.

It's the Luke and Pete show. Are we the babes? Yeah, I'm the boys. I'm the boy, you're the babe. Okay, sounds good. Robin, Stacey, hello to you. Thank you for emailing in your King Kong batteries. King Kong, I don't think we had them before.

They're not a new player. Thank you very much. You and White, thank you very much for sending in some Texas batteries. I think they're new, aren't they? They're not. Nah. T-E-C-X-U-S. I don't think so. What?

There's no consensus there. Ha, ha. Whenever I see the word Texas, ha, ha. Yeah. Charlene Spiteri. TFI Friday. Every fucking Friday. Ha, ha.

So I quite liked Charlene Spiteri. TFI Friday, every fucking Friday. So I quite liked Charlene Spiteri. She's great news. People were obsessed with her in the 90s, weren't they? Yeah. Well, what's his name from Don't Forget Your Toothbrush? He was obsessed. Chris Evans. Chris Evans, he was obsessed.

How can you not remember Chris Evans' name? It's incredible the levels you'll go to to not remember a name. Because there's a new Chris Evans on the block. Oh yeah, true. I can't be arsed. Well, you've got Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Chris Thingy. There's loads of them. Chris behind the pines.

Yeah. No, that's Ryan Gosling. Who's the one who got his willy out? Who's the one who got his willy out on his Twitter? Armie Hammer. No! It goes a lot deeper than that, Luke. Good lord.

That's what he said. Yeah, the thing is, I find a lot of them all look the same. So I'll be looking at a picture of Henry Cavill and I'll be like, oh, it's fucking Armie Hammer. I don't want to know what he's been up to. But it's not.

It's actually Henry Cavill, right? They all look weirdly the same. Yeah, but Henry Cavill, he builds PCs. Armie Hammer, problematic. The other ones, one's Thor, one's Spaceman.

Oh, Chris Hemsworth. Who's the one who played Captain Kirk in the new ones? Chris Pine one's oh Chris Hemsworth who's the one who played Captain Kirk in the new ones Chris Pine is that Chris Pine yeah right

he's got the eyebrows who's the one who's in Parks and Rec and is now already muscly Chris Pratt Chris Pratt yeah

Chris Evans is Captain America yeah too fucking many it's unbelievable too many it's unbelievable Steve McQueen's a director I'm just

I thought equity meant you couldn't have similar names. Choose something else. Stephen Battlestar. Do that. They're all living a story that Stephen King wrote. Yeah. It's just the same guy. Yeah.

The world ends and Chris is left. Yeah. Not having it. What were we originally talking about? Chris Evans. You should be able to remember Chris Evans as night, to be fair. Who's the new Chris Evans in British television? For the US listeners, he was the Ryan Seacrest of the 90s.

But he was more than that, wasn't he? He was more than that. Did he? Because he did a lot of business deals and stuff, didn't he? He's more than that. He's more than that. Well, he bought Virgin and then didn't want to work Fridays. And then he sold the company off.

And then he didn't want to work Fridays and then they went, you need to leave now because we need someone who works Fridays. Who's the modern equivalent, did you say? Yeah. I don't know really. Is it that guy who is always the really annoying voice and the guy who's clearly still a virgin? Oh. Chris Evans.

What's the name of the guy who um he's just a complete prick and he's on Twitter all the time right and he tries to like be really controversial for no reason he's like

very right wing right what's his fucking name he tries to be very controversial yeah I can't remember his name it's depressing

oh this is rare yeah I know it's a bit of a role reversal a little bit of a role reversal not Darren Grimes the one before Darren Grimes people will be listening to the show Milo no people will bit of a role reversal. I'm not helping you out. Not Darren Grimes, the one before Darren Grimes. People will be listening

to the show now. Milo, no. People will be listening to the show going, I'm screaming his name out. He's an absolute penis. I'm just going to type it into Google.

Absolute penis. How are you going to find him? Right wing, Darren Grimes before Darren Grimes. I've typed in, I've typed in,

do you know what? I will be able to find his name. Hang on. I've just typed in, I've just typed in I've just typed in check your likes right wing Twitter young man

so Paul Joseph Watson Paul Watson oh yeah yeah didn't he disappear because you know Twitter doesn't like that sort of thing

their share price enjoyed it for a very long time now they're like too hot for us now no he's still on their tweeting is he he's got 1.1 million followers good god

good lord what he needs is some fresh air what he needs is to go outside go for a walk for us now. No, he's still on there tweeting. Is he? He's got 1.1 million followers. Good God. Good Lord. What he needs is some fresh air. What he needs is to go outside. Go for a walk. Yeah, and have a think about it. None of this is making you

any money, mate. He could be the Chris Evans. Why? Because I think the world's moved on. Right. And he's like... Yesterday's man.

So Chris Evans, at the heart of what Chris Evans was doing is he was able to really tap into what everyone wanted. So he's going to be very successful by making TV shows that no one else is making

because the people who were making TV shows at the time were making old-fashioned shit TV shows. So I'm wondering whether the new Chris Evans are the kind of online social media people who are making content that normal people like us go, that looks a bit fucking weird

or newfangled, but lots of people love it but it's more hateful although let's be absolutely clear TFI Friday in the back

through the lens of 2021 did look a little bit more hateful than perhaps they thought at the time no wrong with the Rastroncasters mate

what's that they used to wheel on a Rastafarian block on Casters I think didn't they also spend a on a Rastafarian block on casters I think didn't they also spend a lot of time taking the piss

out of women's football didn't they get like a production team from TFI5 to play the England women's football team right okay to mock them

that's yeah yeah the 90s anyway that's what it is what it is baby email email

hello to who we got here? Sam. Hello, Sam. Growing up in Sydney, our food storage challenges are obviously different to yours due to the pretty significant weather variances.

Personally, I think bread should never be chilled no matter what the climate. However, the stepmother of my best mate at primary school insisted bread be stored in the freezer. What? So when it came to weekend lunchtimes, we would have to make a row of bread slices before using them.

We had many a fun time together in those days, but the sandwiches were quite predictably shit. Yeah, so this is a really bad thing in my family with my lovely wife. She freezes everything. Oh. So she'll bake a load of really nice cookies. I'll get to eat maybe a couple of them, and then the rest will go in the freezer. Will they taste as good coming out? I think you know the answer to that, don't you? You know the answer to that. You still eat them, then the rest will go in the freezer. Will they taste as good coming out?

I think you know the answer to that. Don't you? You know the answer to that. You still eat them though, don't you? Mimi makes these amazing things called seven-layer cookies. They're like an Italian traditional cookie. They're not really cookies.

It's like a layer of... Tenderly fish. Live fish. No, it's like a layer of dark chocolate, thin dark chocolate. Yeah. And it's one colour... I think they normally do it like the Italian flags.

It's like one green sponge, one white sponge, one red sponge, and then dark chocolate again, and then jam in between the layers to make seven layers. And then add some spaghetti. You're already pleased with yourself there, aren't you? Pathetic. Then you add some gabagool. Gabagool!

And then she makes them. Oh, I've had my head. It takes her all dayool gabagool and then she makes them takes her all day to do that and then she cuts them up and puts them in the freezer cuts them up they're supposed to be

like that bit oh right okay so you make a big batch of them very complex that's a flavour explosion why are you putting them in the freezer

it's like one of those energy gels that you see on the tube where you can have bespoke energy where it's just like apparently a 3D printed kind of

different configurations of colours like the blue will be iron and the orange will be calcium and a lot of

different flavours and different kind of uses effectively different vitamins and they 3D print them apparently I don't buy it

I don't know what you're talking about what are you talking about it's a vitamin gel but it's like a vitamin gel. But it's like a vitamin snack sort of thing. A 3D printer snack? That's what they say.

And I think they're being fast and loose personally with the idea of 3D. But it's a bespoke vitamin experience. We'll be advertising in a few weeks. Yeah. It's a bespoke snack. I've got no problem with that. I know. I want some.

I keep on looking. I want to know what they're like. I thought the only thing you could 3D print was guns. 3D guns yeah I can't believe you've not got a 3D printer no it's one of those things that I was

even I know even I know I'm not going to use that I've got no business having one you've changed I know you have changed

what you could have done if you were clever is you could have during the house move bought yourself one oh and it would just turn up yes

I've always done that just I've never unpacked it before. You should have done that. You should have used that to buy loads of stuff you wanted. Yeah. You shared me a picture of your suitcase of wires.

Yeah, there's a little cheeky little USB sticking out the side. Yeah. I like to think when I'm asleep they come alive like a Pixar film.

I'd like to think that I could bet money that you will not open that suitcase of wires before the end of 2022. It's a very good chance, Luke. Very good chance. None of those wires

are even usable anymore. Anyway, going back to frozen food stuff, another thing that my wife will do is she'll buy, we'll buy a couple of packets of biscuits, right? Straight in the freezer.

Yeah. She puts everything in the freezer. I'm being serious. Biscuits. Yeah. Like pre-packaged biscuits. So we are a big fan of, as American cousins call them,

fig newtons. We call them fig rolls, right? Right, yeah, yeah, okay. They go straight in the freezer. Do the... The fig bit in the middle just goes solid. That it does.

You sort of like... Yeah. Have you ever eaten one and it's like all... Yeah. And then I imagine when it melts, it would probably be a bit more gooey than usual,

I guess. So basically, imagine like... Fig newtons! Imagine eating a fig roll, but it tastes worse and it's a lot harder. And it's hard as bitumen. I would go quite as far as bitumen. My granddad said, my granddad told me last weekend that he used to chew on bitumen. Yeah, delicious.

Yeah. Yeah. My, I think I'll tell you my partner's friend who lives in York who's got a husband who works in construction have you been

around well Miranda it's like Hamilton we can sing the whole thing yeah I was expressing my interest in his business

which is road surfacing and bitumen and stuff you were basically trying to be interested in stuff no I was you know

I don't meet many people who run an entire fucking bitumen and stuff. You were basically trying to be interested in stuff. No, I was. I don't meet many people who run an entire fucking bitumen quarry, whatever the fuck it is. I wasn't really listening. And I sort of expressed a bit of an interest. And he, at first, thought I was taking the piss because I'm a wanker London fucking media prick. But I was genuinely interested. So when you're delivering the bitumen,

when you're delivering the tar... What is bitumen? It's just the stuff that goes into tarmac. What's it made of? It's a by-product of the oil industry, isn't it? When they cut down the crude oil into its different constituent cracking parts, I suppose. Oh, it's a semi-solid form of petroleum.

Right, yeah. So it would be delicious. But he... Yeah, and I expressed an interest in it a little bit too much and I think he was, he thought I was taking the piss. At the end for Christmas,

he sends me a bit, a lump of bitumen in a shoebox. That's cool. And I was like, I'm going to have a little chew on it. Did you have a chew on it? I had a little chew on it. What was it like?

Just kind of soft and chewy. It burned a little. Should we be telling our listeners not to do that? Don't do, if you have access to bitumen, don't chew on it. So my granddad, just to finish this story, because my...

He's amazing, my granddad. He's really funny. And he's had an amazing life. Your granddad is an Autobot, though, to be fair. No, he remembers seeing Spitfires fighting against German fighter jets, fighter planes, overhead in Portsmouth when he grew up.

And I hate to sort of talk like an old fucking boomer who's upset about the youth of today but like you know

we wind you up masks and stuff like that like imagine seeing that in the fucking air how weird it is he said that he would come

into school eventually they got evacuated out to the west country but he said he would come into school and sometimes there would just be

empty desks because the houses had not before been bombed and the kids were dead right it's serious but anyway

we were talking about upbringings right so many dead kids in this fucking episode he said to me that

he said the worst weekend of his life right and he was telling it with a certain amount of kind of you know the wry smile

on his face he wasn't upset or anything he was just talking with a certain amount of kind of, you know, the wry smile on his face. He wasn't upset or anything. He was just talking about how it was. On the Friday, he was out playing in the street with his friends and they went up into a water tank and were swimming around. I think he was eight, right? One of them drowned, right? The Saturday, his parents, my great-grandparents,

made him take his dog that he'd had since he was, that he found as a stray, to be put down. Yeah. Himself. Right? Right. And then a day or two later or whatever, the war broke out. What's the weekly version of Anus Horribilis?

Yeah. That's a lot to take in for an eight-year-old. I'll be like, what a case of the Mondays I've got. In fact, I think he was only seven, actually. I think he might not have

had his eighth birthday at that point. I was chewing on fucking bitumen. He was chewing on bitumen. It's like kind of like chewing tobacco. He's trying to get it all

together. He chewed on the bitumen. He used to play on the bomb craters, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. So it wasn't that long ago when you think about it. No, it wasn't.

Anyway, if you experienced a war, no, I'm only joking. Email us in hello at lukeandpeach.com if you've got anything to talk about. Yeah, what do you like

chewing on that perhaps you shouldn't be chewing on? Yeah. What's the most, there you go, what's the most interesting thing

you've chewed on? Okay, yeah. We had an email yesterday of a guy who's obviously catching up with old episodes and talking about finding a lot of bones in his garden. Oh, children of bone. Turned out to be dog bones.

Nice, there you go. Do you remember that guy had the car in his garden and buried? Yes. That's where it came from. Do you remember when that in Liverpool, and I'm not casting aspersions anywhere, but in Liverpool there was the body of a little baby found in a park

was there and obviously you know the community sort of you know big outpouring of emotion put put flowers down

and sort of like wrote poems and stuff it was a chicken somebody just throwing a chicken right just a cooked

chicken so with the dog apparently the guy you mailed in with a dog they had to do an investigation first yeah I bet they would yeah yeah so anyway chicken. So with the dog, apparently the guy you mailed in with the dog, they had to do an investigation first.

Yeah, I bet they would. I bet they would, yeah. So anyway, I don't know where that's come from, but What have you chewed on? Why, when I was about six, I would chew on some sugar cane. Where did that go? Did you? In my house. I've never even seen sugar cane.

Because I used to chew on licorice root, That was pretty popular. Never seen that either. I used to get that from the health food shop. Health food shop was just bins full of sugar puffs. That was the health food shop. Just get your own fucking shit in a bag. And lollipops and those clear plastic, square plastic things.

Yeah. And, yeah, we had, like... And I remember my dad coming home with a lot of sugar cane and we were just chewing on it. Probably came from the port, did it? Probably not. I don't know. Why would I suddenly...

He worked in a chemical factory. I don't know. He told you it was sugar cane. That's uranium, Dad. Licorice root and sugar cane. Yeah. Interesting. If you've chewed on anything as interesting as that,

let us know. But email us anything you want us to talk about on the show. We always like reading your emails. We can't get through all of them, but we get through our favourites and that's the most

we can commit to at this point. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com is the email address. At LukeandPeteShow is Twitter and Instagram. We'll be back on Monday with more of this.

Shout out to all of you for listening. Much appreciated. Leave us a review. All that good stuff. See you soon. Don't go changing, Pete Donaldson.

I'll have a go the Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network