The Luke and Pete Show - A knitted assailant

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Pete’s health problems are raging on worse than ever thanks to an attack from an old jumper. However, Luke helpfully has a suggestion which might improve Pete’s health going forward… Potato milk!In the emails we finally get to the bottom of Episode 140 “Horses can’t vomit” (aka the missing episode) and the truth of the matter is far more harrowing than we expected.Remember to tune in next time to hear about all the birds that fell out of the Sky…Get in touch, email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All right, we're just a couple of crescent of dicks doing their thing. It's the Luke and Pete show, a place where you kick back, relax, pop a battery in your mouth and just suck on it. Have a sweet time. How are you doing, Luke? Yeah, feel the feel, baby. Not bad, not bad. Fizzing, mate. Fizzing over here. Fizzing.

With, um... Batteries. Battery, battery, battery fizz. Battery fizz. What's been going on? I haven't seen you for a wee while. What's been happening? I know, yeah. I'm having several health scares all at the same time, Luke. Well, I've heard.

We've had loads of emails from people or one email basically telling me i've got a lactose intolerance i don't drink dairy i don't consume that much dairy really so i don't think that's really the situation i think i'm just having a one big health scare that started around about my 40th birthday uh and it's all been downhill since since then really. So you know that I've always felt like we're living in a gigantic simulation. Yeah.

It may well be the simulation selected you from 40 onwards to say he's had his lot. I hope I don't. Anything he gets now is a bonus. I know.

I am enjoying myself though. That's the annoying thing. I'm like, this is a real shame if I'm going to shuffle off this mortal coil, I'm having too good a time. I don't think it's fair that I... Basically, I've had bad guts for, like, ages,

which has meant that I'm just constantly kind of Googling stomach cultures and, you know... Never Google. All that nonsense. Never Google. Never Google. But I just honk bad. And on the ramble on Wednesday, I think it was,

I basically had an anaphylactic shock thanks to wearing a jumper I found in the back of the cupboard. shock thanks to wearing a jumper I found at the back of the cupboard. I feel like on behalf of our friends listening, I need to investigate that further. I think you're going to probably have to provide quite a lot of context for our new listeners here and put a bit of detail on the bones, a bit of meat on the

bones for everyone else because that is not something I've ever heard happening to any other human being. So we need to get to the bottom of that i have a uh pretty solid um dust mite uh allergy allergy and so dogs uh the dog dander and the dust mites together create peter got a block nose all the time um but i but every now again, my face will just go massive for no reason. And my sinuses will just completely close up. My chest will tighten. And it happened just before the ramble.

I found a jumper at the back of a cupboard in a box. And it had just been there for like a couple of years, not been worn, not been used. And I put it on. Did it make you start committing crimes? What, like an evil jumper? and it had just been there for like a couple of years, not been worn, not been used. And I put it on. Did it make you start committing crimes? What, like an evil jumper? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like it's found in the box,

like a Robin Williams film or something like that. Yeah, no, I put it on and obviously because I was wearing a mask on the way in on the train, as soon as I get to work, I take the mask off and I obviously get a big blast of dust mites from the jumper, and my face just went big in the eye, and I just couldn't

throw this all the way through the ramble, so anyone listening to that, you have my complete apology. It was very amusing. Yeah, very, very strange, but as soon as I went outside, got myself some Sudafed, very strange. But as soon as I went outside, got myself some Sudafed. Got some Sudafed honked up my nose.

Donald Trump level amounts of it. European strength Sudafed. European strength Sudafed. I was right as rain. But it was, and I had antihistamine. It was, yeah, problematic. So if you're listening to this and you see the aforementioned jumper or for our american listeners sweater do not approach it do not it is more than likely armed it's very dangerous

well very armed too armed yeah can you describe can you describe the um the defending article the knitted assailant it was uh it was a it was just a general, very soft, chenille, brown number. It's very comfortable. I've put it in the wash now. I'm hoping I'm going to be able to wear it again. But, yeah, it's just not a great morning for me. It's comfortable for your torso, not so much your face. Well, I mean, my head was nice and warm because it was filled with fluid.

Where does all this fluid come from, though? It just sort of piles up in your nose. And you're like, how did this happen, guys? I often wonder that. Because what I'll find is that if I leave, so coming to the office, leave the house early morning. In the winter, obviously, it's very cold. And what I find happens is I have to blow my nose a lot. My nose just starts running.

happens is i have to blow my nose a lot my nose just starts running and i think to myself the part of my body which i'm basically unaware of that's generating this mucus is working like really well like it's obviously doing it for a reason right but it's working really well that's really efficient yeah i've got the mucus glands of a teenager. It's really exciting. Yeah, it's basically like my mucus glands are erect all the time. But I think if I could take that work rate and that efficiency and say apply that to every muscle in my legs, I'd be like a really fast runner. But why do I get the mucus efficiency and not the leg efficiency or the strength efficiency?

Are you saying that they should have an Olympics just for mucus? Like someone who just stands there and he just emits mucus from his nose or his mouth or his throat and just look into a big pint glass. Look how much mucus I can make. What I would say is this. If there was genuinely some way of competitively measuring mucus generation on a cold day in the morning, I would be up there. I'm not going to say I'm the best, but I'm world class at it. Well, I guess in China, in the Olympics, the Winter Olympics,

there's obviously that famous picture of the ski jump or whatever you call it. Yeah, what's that all about? Explain that to our listeners and then tell me what it's all about. Well, it's just a big sort of snowy ski slope that they've created just for the Olympics. In the middle of hell? Of hell? It's just in the middle of, it looks like Middlesbrough, just in the middle of like, it's just in the middle of this kind of dirty industrial

factory district, isn't it? Just like big pipes everywhere and it looks absolutely grim. But I imagine that the Olympics held in Beijing at this point in time, with all of the air pollution, your mucus glands would probably be a great

place to put it, I would say. All that pollution. Yeah, that would make probably make yeah because i guess the movie was being general by the way everyone sorry about this um the the generation is obviously happening due to some kind of defense mechanism right yeah true you know i just wonder why your defence mechanisms for just about everything are so poor. Well, I mean, again, whenever I'm in trouble, something spectacular happens and I'm sort of bed bound for a day. It's not even the actual illness itself.

It's the thinking that you've got to cancel stuff and thinking that you're going to have a few hours of this nonsense before you can kind of come out the other side. It's rubbish. I hate it. How did you get home? How did I get home? I got the train, so I was fine. I was fine by the time I got home.

It was just very weird. My eye went big. My eye went big. The last time it happened, I was on a tatami mat in Japan. I think it must have been a very dusty tatami mat, and my face went up big then again. So sometimes my face goes big, and sometimes it doesn't. I've got a big face all the time, so I know how you feel. Earlier you were saying one of our listeners helpfully suggested

you may be lactose intolerant, but you said that's not the case. All I drink is your oats, your almonds. I don't really drink a lot of milk. Do you have cheese? Not really, no. Not a huge amount. I'll level with you. Not a huge amount.

All right. Because the reason I ask is because I will occasionally tolerate when Andrea in the office brings in almond milk or soy milk or something. And it's not the same, but it's fine. And then you've got coconut milk, which again is fine. Rice milk. There's lots of milks involved now. I actually saw an advert yesterday for potato milk.

I'm not sure. I'm not going to check myself out of that. I don't think I'm going to go near potato milk. That seems wrong to me. Well, I guess they've just sort of went, right right what's watery but starchy at the same time you know they've literally went right what can we milk what could what look looking around the kitchen what can we milk uh and yeah it's that really yeah i guess it kind of works because you can milk rice and it's not really milk was it it's just water with a bit of protein a bit of like rice protein or potato

protein so i don't know how they actually make it is there any protein in potatoes there's gotta be hasn't there i don't really know what what potatoes are they're very versatile but i'll be damned if i know what's actually in them but does it but what i'm saying i'm getting to the psychological point of it right if someone said you, would you like a cup of tea, but I've only got potato milk, what are you saying? Well, I think the Milk Council of certainly Great Britain, or maybe the EU, I'm not really sure, whenever you buy almond milk or oat milk,

it's never milk. I think they've stopped calling it milk. They've started calling it, it just has to be like an oat drink, an oat-based drink. Juice. Yeah. So it's going to be like, so it's probably going to be,

it's not going to be called potato milk. It'll be called a potato drink, which is not something you want to be putting in your cup of tea, is it? A lot of stuff's happening at the moment, which makes me feel like we're experiencing the collapse of Western democracy. Right, and potato milk is,

you know, the yocanary in the mind. It's got to be part of it. It's got to be part of it. I mean, I just can't, I can't, and then the thing, I guess the thing about it is it'll be cheap, right? Because potatoes are abundant.

Yeah. Very abundant and successful crop. I just think that maybe, and maybe I'm extrapolating too much here, but if potato milk is Britain's way of taking back control after Brexit because we've got so many potatoes, I just think that should have been mentioned

in the campaign. By the way, this is happening, this is happening. You can do that, but you are going to all be drinking potato milk. Because no one's voting for that. I don't care how strident an EU, but you are going to all be drinking potato milk. Yeah. Because no one's voting for that. Yeah. I don't care how strident a EU hater you are. Yeah.

You ain't suffering potato milk. Yeah. And potato milk sounds like one of those things when society has broken down and people were forced to drink potato milk to milk their own potatoes. It's, ugh. Yeah. Fucking gross.

I've never, all I'm saying is I've never... All I'm saying is I've never once gone around someone's house or asked them what they do for a job or read anything in the newspaper

which involved milking potatoes. No. That's all I'm saying. And I've never been prepping the roast potatoes for Sunday dinner and I've never

cut open... You've got milky. Cut open a potato and went, oh, I'd like a cup of that. I'd like a cup of that, please. Delicious. I thought the only thing you could get out of potatoes

in that way was vodka. Yeah, so could you kind of Jesus-style turn water into wine, potato milk into vodka very, very easily? I don't think Jesus would have taken off if that's what he did. I think he's fallen hard times. He's drinking vodka.

He wouldn't stick in the mind as much. He's drinking street vodka he's made. I think water into wine is kind of a little bit more relatable. Oh! Well, of course, we only got potatoes in Europe, didn't we, quite late on, so when they were brought back from the Americas, I believe. Oh, is that right? Yes, they did. Do you remember that?

It's a Bob Newhart sketch where he's talking about... Sir Francis Drake, who brought it all back? I thought it was Sir Walter Raleigh. Raleigh, probably Raleigh, isn't it? He comes back and he's brought back tobacco and he's brought back potatoes. Yeah. Where do you stick this one, Walter? You stick it in your mouth, do you?

Right, set fire to it. Yeah, cool. Yeah, whatever, mate. Lunatic. What's your favourite type of potatoes? What do you mean? Where's this coming from? As in how do you choose to cook them?

My mum gave us a packet of pre-prepared, sort of like modern smash. Do you remember smash? In the 80s with the robots. Yeah. Or the aliens or whatever they were. You're going to have to contextualise that for some of our listeners, by the way.

It's basically just dried mash that you re... Powdered, right? Yeah, powdered mash that you put... It's kind of just like making... I guess if you add too much water, you're just basically making potato milk, aren't you? But yeah put it's kind of just like making i guess if you add too much water you're just basically making potato milk aren't you but yeah it's making like i i i think people understand the idea of dehydrated food i'm not sure they understand a bit about aliens and robots that's what i mean all right sorry uh in the 80s there was a popular dehydrated potato

mash that was advertised by aliens that looked like saucepans, I think. Yeah. Kind of like culinary aliens slash robots. They were like culinary aliens slash robots. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah. Your mum gave you some? Mum gave us a pack of that.

That was really nice. Does she not love you? She loves me a little too much. She's obsessed with the fact that I've got a new air fryer. She's always wanted an air fryer. I'd get you an air fryer. You's obsessed with the fact that I've got a new air fryer. She's always wanted an air fryer. I'd get you

an air fryer. You're obsessed with that. Don't say your mum is. No, I told her about it. She's like, she's over the moon. She keeps asking me

what I've cooked in it and the last thing I cooked was black pudding so there we go. Well, tell her then because 75% of your fucking conversations these days

are about an air fryer. It's my illness. And the reason I ask you about your mum is because, like, do you think your mum thinks, oh, great, Pete and Sarah are coming up. I can get rid of some of that stuff at the back of the cupboard. Oh, yeah. And there is so much stuff at the back of the cupboard. There's, like, every flavour of kind of tomato sauce in there, garlic sauce.

None of them refrigerated, so they went off years ago. Just lots of, like, stirring sauces and all kinds of shit like that. So, yeah, it's not a bountiful cupboard. It's pretty disgusting, to be honest. Are your parents still living in the same house they were living in when you lived with them? No, no. They moved to a little house. Okay, so you have no kind of nostalgia or kind of attachment emotionally to the house?

No, not really, no. It was, yeah, it was very much. I'd said it before, like, my dad's, they moved in the house about 15 years ago and, or maybe 12 years ago. Oh, because the coal truck drove through the other one. That was, yeah, that was three years ago. I maybe 12 years ago oh because the coal truck drove through the other one that was yeah that was that was three three years ago I had an attachment to that

that was where I used to wake up in the middle of the night and wee in the wee in the drawer and then close the drawer what you've never said that before it's just

when I was a bit when I was a when I was a bairn I used to sort of get up stand up walk over to open the drawer

open one of the drawers and just piss in it. Like a pissed off dad. Like a pissed off dad. Like a drunken dad. What happened? Why was that, do you reckon? I don't know.

Like, but I mean, I think closing the thing is a little, closing the drawer is a little bit much, isn't it? Just getting that closed and then going back to bed. Sort of, that's bed. That's sorted. That's dealt with. Because it's making your parents work harder to sort it. Exactly. Yeah, very weird.

But yeah, that was the attachment I had with that house. But that house, my mum and dad moved in about 12 years ago. And my dad, his little office, slash the place where he sleeps sometimes, he's still got like, they call them day-door rails. Like, kind of like, kind of like designs to enchant children. It was like a nursery, clearly, before they moved in.

And there's just, like, a kind of, like, a track of, like, pictures of elephants and giraffes and stuff all around his office. And he's just never bothered to pull it down or paint it or anything. I've never heard of that phrase before. What did you it is it day door rail i think it sounds it sounds like it might be problematic i don't know why day door rail it just sounds a bit like oh don't say

that i don't know why does your dad not want to decorate the office to how he likes it no how he likes it is just clutter it's just there's clutter everywhere as you can well imagine so just a lot of a lot of shit he's bought from the pound shop calculators and he's got a little i wonder where you get it from fucking hell hey my room's tidy now thank you how's the garage looking it's fine um uh increasingly uh i'm being told that I did not consult the other partner in the house about putting a

wall up in the cabin which I did and I didn't realise that I knocked a few noses out of joints that I put a wall up so you're in the apology cabin I'm in the apology cabin and I was like I need a studio so I put a couple of partition walls up So you're in the apology cabin now. I'm in the apology cabin.

And I was like, I need a studio. So I put a couple of partition walls up and a door and made a little studio out of it. But I've been told that I didn't consult the other person in the house, which is fair, which is fair, because that is going to affect the price of the house. I just didn't realise it was problematic. My problematic walls. You know me. Always putting up walls.

Maybe we could set up a kind of support network for people who've been on the other end of you just doing stuff without telling anyone. Yeah, yeah. I like a project. I spent a good part of Sunday making a box. A little box for my arcade machine to sit on top of. I've barely played the thing, but I've spent hours and hours on it,

fixing it up and stuff. You're living the dream now. I love it. Out in the suburbs, by the sea, just working on projects. Little projects.

Little peaty project, I call myself. It's fun. Little peaty project. All right. Little peaty project. Well, listen, little peaty project to me.

You're going to have a little break. Then when we come back, we're going to get through some of our Luke and Pete Show family emails. Our listeners have sent them in in abundance, so we've got to get through some of them. So we'll do it just the other side of this. We like it.

You like it. It's the Luke and Pete Show, and it's time for a few emails if we've got time, if that's all right with you. We have got time Peter. In fact we've got plenty of time to get through our emails. Some of our friends have emailed hello at lukeandpeetshow.com

and we're going to read out a few of their efforts and if you want to get in touch you can do so by emailing the same address. Pete, now over the last week or two perhaps even a little bit longer there's been some chat around the famous or now infamous Missing Luke and Pete Show episode. Yeah. It's episode 140.

It was called Horses Can't Vomit. We have no idea why it was removed, but our listeners have given us some solutions. So I'm going to try and read a couple of the solutions and explanations out. First up is Alec Lodge. Hello to you, Alec. He says, hi, guys. In relation to the mystery of missing episode 140, I can confirm it shows up on Podcast Addict, but it won't download.

I'm not sure if I've solved the mystery or not, but I do remember the horses can't vomit chat. Descending onto a tangent worthy of one of Luke's famous where's that come from? Exclamations. Off on his tangent, Pete got rather excited and I'm going to say this under warning so if you're of a sensitive disposition,

don't listen to this next bit. Pete got rather excited while theorising that as horses don't have a gag reflex, they'd be perfect for deep throat style porn. And because of their long faces, you'd be able to, and this is a direct quote, get it right in there.

Now I realise I'm laughing at my own nonsense. But you're laughing at how ridiculous you are as a human being. That is, when in the the cold harsh light of day getting the things you've said in jest when I get all excited and blurt out some nonsense having that thrown back at you or read back at you with a sober delivery

is disgusting I am a disgusting man I'd like to apologise for everyone who heard episode 140 that sounds fucking horrific. What you're feeling at the moment, Pete, is like maybe you've been out on a Friday night, you've had a bit of a scuffle, and on a Saturday morning when you walk into a cafe

to have a little fry-up to get over your hangover, you've walked past the same spot. Yeah. And you think, oh my God, what was I doing? Yeah. Anyway, Alex saying, I can only guess that the censors picked up on this bestiality talk and chopped out the episode

or possibly some sad act reported it, but it's probably not the worst thing that's been said on the show, although I'm struggling to think of anything worse at the moment. Hoping this might give you some insight into where that episode is, or you could try the Reply All podcast.

Oh, no, you actually, you can't because they got themselves cancelled. We're actually trying to get someone else cancelled the bloody idiots i started listening to that after luke's recommendation and just got caught up as it got canned i'm sorry about that alec you know there but by the grace of god and all that yeah alex is loving the show um all the best alec so thank you for that and rowan has also picked up the story saying i've just listened to the latest episode of laps and after hearing about the missing episode 140, I thought to myself, hmm, I bet I've got that on a backup.

And sure enough, I do. So I've uploaded it to my Mega account. And if you want it, here's the link. A long time listener since the very beginning. Thanks for everything. I very much enjoy dropping into your world a couple of times a week. Cheers, Roman. So Roman's actually got it.

We can download it and we can re-upload it if we decide to. Although, Pete, perhaps you don't want to do that. No, I really don't want to do that. And it's worrying that we've got an archivist working on this. Aye, aye, aye. I do not care for this one bit. How do you feel about your behaviour? What, generally or in this particular situation?

This particular situation, I'm horrified generally I think I'm a delight have you seen that meme of the kid text messaging his mum saying he feels pissed off

about something so his mum replies by saying why don't you go and sit outside and have a banana oh no he's pissed off

about something so he just texts his mum he's like I'm in a bad mood or whatever this has happened oh fucking whatever and his mum replies it's a screenshot

of the text conversation his mum replies saying oh dear I'm sorry to hear that son why don't you go and sit outside and have a banana

it's like the weirdest thing that's quite sweet you should do that at the moment she's clearly looking around the kitchen going I have no solution for this

oh no I love the idea of like walking through some maybe some kind of suburban street do that at the moment. She's clearly looking around the kitchen going, I have no solution for this at all. Yeah. I love the idea of like walking through some, maybe some kind of suburban street where there's a hundred houses and seeing

like three teenage lads individually sat outside eating a banana. But the way she says it is like it's a very well-known thing to do, which it isn't at all. They really turn

their life around by just eating a banana and sitting on a stoop somewhere. Would you like to sit outside and have a nice glass of potato milk? Well, actually, I could stand on the stoop or sit on the stoop just milking a potato away, just milking it within an inch of its potatoey life. I just purchased a new juicer, by the way.

Oh, yeah? Right. And I'll get on to the problems with it in a minute because um i i think i probably went through my life studiously avoiding having a juicer right but then i was getting annoyed by the amount of fruit we had left over at the end of each week i thought if i just juice it it'll be a nice way of getting it down before it goes off and it's good for you and that kind of good stuff and chuck I chucked some vegetables in there. So I got recommended by a friend a certain type of juicer.

I was like, okay, if I want to get that one, it's fine. As soon as I bought it, I was chatting to John and to a couple of other mates and all of them said the same thing on the phone to me before it arrived. Oh yeah, good luck with that. You're going to have to clean that every time you use it.

It's a right pain in the arse. And I was like, oh fucking what have I done? What have I done? Right? And of course, it turns up and it's like a space shuttle. And this is the most complicated thing ever. And apparently it's great because it's a cold press, so it doesn't heat up,

which means it doesn't kill the nutrients in the fruit and the vegetables, so it's better for you. All this great stuff. It's also, you know, roughly about a third of the size of my kitchen, which I also didn't fucking consider. And my friend Dan said to me,

oh yeah, my juice is so big that I only get it out on weekends because it can't sit in the kitchen because it takes up too much space.

Anyway, so the point being, the other piece of advice John gave me, you know our mate Mad Phil? Yes. He is mad for lots of different reasons i

know it's tedious when people say oh is my friend mad he's a great guy but he's mad he he put um he put an onion through his juicer oh wow he's never been able to use the juicer again oh because it's absolutely honks yeah no matter how many times you wash it it's still everything takes the onion right that's terrible i know you should be, it's still everything tastes of onion, right? That's terrible. I know. You should be able to wash every single part of it. I know. Until it's onion free. You know, like, I just think that it's like a horrendous crime.

No matter how many times you ever shower, you can't get the stain off. You know what you've done. Lady Macbeth in it. Yeah, the onion knows what you've done. It just tastes onions constantly. So I was just going to say, so anyway, look, so it's been fine, but it obviously comes with a lot of admin, which I didn't really anticipate. But I wondered if you put potatoes in it, are you going to get some potato milk out of that, some sweet potato milk?

Because the reason I asked the question, I'm sorry to go about this again, but I thought about it a bit in the ad break, and they must be doing something to that potato milk to stop it tasting of potatoes. Because almond, very neutral flavour. Rice, famously very neutral flavour. Coconut, a nice flavour, you know, in milk form, for example. You know, soy doesn't taste of anything. Potatoes very much do taste of something.

So what are they doing to stop that? Doing what they do with all the other milks, I suppose. Just adding a bit of salt, adding a taste of something. So what are they doing to stop that? Doing what they do with all the other milks, I suppose. Just adding a bit of salt, adding a bit of sugar. Yeah, that does seem to be what happens a lot, doesn't it? Yeah. But if I bang for a load of potatoes in my juicer when you come round and go, here you go, glass of potato milk for you,

you're probably going to call the police. I'll say that's, I think Luke's gone through some things. And then you'll probably say, oh, you're going to have to spend ages cleaning that. Yeah, everything's going to taste of potatoes now. Unbelievable. Can I... When I put it to you in context,

it's exactly how complicated the juicer is. And it's made by a company called Sage, who are apparently very good. But can I just tell you this, to put it in perspective? When I did wash it, I legitimately couldn't work out how to put it back together again there was like you're good at lego yeah basically it was like it was like a logic

puzzle to put it all together again one of those mystery boxes that you can't open so the i'm just gonna say what i'd rather do i think is just buy a bottle of apple juice or whatever yeah i've got a nutribullet what's wrong with them really simple. So what's the difference there? Talk to me about the difference between those. It's just like an old school kind of food processor, I suppose. It's just a cup that you put all your stuff in and then put the blades affixed to the top of the thing. You screw that on, turn it upside down,

and the motor drives the blades that are integrated into the cup itself. And it's all very simple. Yeah, I've been using mine for ages. Is that the same thing? Yeah, I make pancakes. I make juice. I make milkshakes. I made a milkshake last week,

a mango milkshake. How are you making pancakes in it? What do you mean? I'm not cooking the pancakes in it, but the pancake mix I'm mixing together. Oh, so it's like a KitchenAid as well then? Yeah, it's cracking. Yeah. I like it. Where were you aid as well then yeah it's cracking yeah

I like it where were you last week fuck with your allergies not talking to me just get yourself a simple just simplify it just just take the consistent parts

that you need and just remove the stuff that you don't and just bodge everything together with a lot of tape I think the person who recommended the juicer to me

was they are quite posh and I reckon they've got someone cleaning it for them you're right yeah it's like a like a modern chimney sweep, but it's people who clean Nutribullet-y kind of products.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, imagine that. That would probably be like a legitimate business enterprise. A man comes around with a little pipe cleaner. Yeah, there's nothing better than freshly squeezed juice

of whatever extraction. Yeah, cracking stuff. It's great, it is great. It is delicious. So we've had horses that can't vomit. Yeah. Holes in the side of cows. You remember that?

Oh, yes. I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was decent. Any other animal facts before we go? No, I think I'm... Animal facts. Animal facts.

Maybe on the next show, we'll talk about all of those birds that fell out of the sky in Mexico. Oh, yeah. A horrific scene. That is a great podcast fucking trail. That's exactly

what the big boys do when they're doing a narrative documentary series. Oh. Right. Tune in next time for all the birds that fell out of the sky.

Guess where the birds aren't anymore. In the sky where they're supposed to be. In the fucking sky, mate. Tune in next time. I'm not allowed to tune in next time I saw I saw

300 birds yesterday oh yeah what's so weird about that yeah they're on the fucking floor that's what's weird about it they go

no I've seen that before I've seen that I live on the estuary I mean like yeah let's go alright then let's get out of here

thanks very much for getting in touch if you did so hello at lukeandpeacher.com if we didn't get to your email this week, we will get to it at some point, I'm sure. I almost guarantee you, because there is no such thing as scraping the barrel on this show.

That's what it's all about. We just talk about crap every episode. So your email will get read out at some point, I'm sure. Hello at LukeandPete.com to get in touch with us. We are at LukeandPete on Twitter and Instagram. If you like what you hear and you enjoy, as our friend, I think it was Alec earlier, or Rowan said,

you love dropping into our world twice a week, then leave us a review. Five stars on your app of choice. It really does help us out. We'd really much appreciate that. Thanks very much to our producer Rory and everyone at Stack. And we'll see you next time.

Pete, we're back on Thursday for some bird chat some battery chat although those two things will be unrelated I'm almost certain and whatever else takes our fancy right? Correct

and I can't wait to do it to you with you around you I don't have to make everything disgusting do I not? The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.