The Luke and Pete Show - A Night in a Hostel

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

Welcome back to a new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! As we build up towards Christmas, the lads talk presents, including a very thoughtful gift Pete has been working on. Ah, bless. Unfortunately he reverts to type fairly shortly after that after his gastric problems come back and he finds himself stranded in London with nowhere to go.Luke and Pete also find time to hear from an American that enjoyed a strange experience upon visiting Camden, and there's one or two carpet anecdotes as well. What more do you need?Subscribe to join us, and email whenever you like: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I can't wait till they start domesticating raccoons, Luke Moore. Yes, you have mentioned that before. Yeah, I mean, we've actually got an email from someone pertaining to raccoons. We can do either today or Monday. All right, okay. It's a poo-pooing my idea that we'll domesticate them. No, I don't think so. I don't even cover that.

Because I'll poo at myself. This is a little bit show, by the way. I've done some job is looking at me up. It doesn't really cover that aspect of it. No. Well, apparently a biologist has been trapping off. That's kissing, isn't it? Yapping off.

Trapping off would be what we would have called in the 90s pulling. Yes, yes. They were talking about how it's impossible to domesticate a raccoon because they are one of the few animals who seeks out revenge. I love that. That's excellent. They remember your face, and if you've done something bad to them, they want to hurt you. Apparently crows can remember individual faces as well.

Right, okay. Corvids are very intelligent, obviously. I don't think there would, I don't think there's any reason to sort of... I don't know why a crow would need to know anyone's faces. No, I think they have been known to kind of hold a garage against individual people. Right. Oh, yeah, follow them around, peck them. Yeah. Pooh on them, put in the car.

Peckham in peckham. Peckham in peckham. Because there's also been evidence of, what, he's been caught on camera, of crows, like say, someone put like a food pellet in a tube and for the crow to be able to reach the food pellet, the water level of the tube needs to rise so they just fly off and get stones

and keep putting it in the water so the water gets higher and higher and they get the pellet. I wouldn't even be able to I sometimes do something I'm like it's like an eight year old human beings intelligence basically. I'll do stuff and I'll be like I just I'm approaching this all wrong I'm being a real silly sausage yeah what is most of your food choices

just generally if I need to do some If I need to approach like a DIY job, I'll always sort of go right around the houses before I go, oh, I could just use a screwdriver. I never bother with any DIY. I told you, I'll do light bulb changing. I'll do, I can do a plug. Right.

I could do a shelf. What's the, what's the... I can put together a flat pack, although my wife, the Wi-5 actors too normally does that. I just think you need to have knees. I think it's probably better to utilize your good partner because she's a little smaller. She's smaller.

clambering in and out of things would you, for example so would you ever think of say that you want to put a new carpet down your house right

you buy a really nice carpet that you like would you ever think of doing the calculations and then installing it yourself no because it's all like you need all the

because I find that baffling the carpet you need the little the things that you you know the spikes you jamming at the thing and then you hit it with your knee

yeah to sort of stretch it you gotta stretch your carpet to the corners don't you know would you know how to do that no god knows well I mean you can probably

Google it but it would just been absolutely. But that is what you do, you do Google things and then try and do them, don't you? I've considered doing...

So what up to and including, would you attempt? I'd shave a floor, I'd vanish a floor but carpet there's a lot of measuring twice, cut once,

which I'm not subscribing to. Measure once. Cut as many times as you need. Never measure. No. Just eyeball it. I find it very impressive seeing the carpet guys

do their thing. Because they're quick as well. There's nothing like the smell, slightly chemically smell of a new carpet. And you lay it down and it feels so luxurious. I remember getting an absolute, almost getting an absolute rip-off job done on me

by a carpet fitter once. Where he, so we did it with a, we did it with a, a well-known high street carpet company, I'm not going to name them. Right. I'll probably named it when I happened about five years ago.

May I may not have been carpet right, right, Peter. Okay, wink, wink. You may be carpet wrong on that, but you may be carpet right. Right. And what you do is you pay for the carpets, obviously, you pay for the fitting, and you pay for what they call, I think they call it uptake or take-up or something,

where they take the old carpets away for you. Right, yes. And when we had the new carpet put in, this geezer, it was like, oh, right, yeah, so do you want to pay to have the carpet taken up? And I was like, well, I've taken away. I said, well, I've already paid that. It's in the invoice. But they do, but they do, obviously they use freelance independent carpet fit.

They try it on. And he said, it was classic. it was so good he goes uh you haven't paid for us no i have paid for it he said oh yeah we've just pay me now give us 100 quick cash now we'll take it away and we normally use it as beer money for the lads i said look mate i've already paid it not tipping you for take up a cup because he was basically implying that he was just going to leave all in my front garden right right and i was like literally i was like well don't worry about it i'll just call the company the shop and just confirm yeah and he just threw his hands up and he went oh i'll take it away then

as in please don't call them please don't call them he must try you tried out with every single person, yeah, and he gets aware of it one in ten times he'd be getting a hundred quid out of me, I reckon. Well, you still want the confrontation? He's still want the confrontation. I'm fairly certain I paid for that. But then, it's a bit of a zero-sum game,

because you're like, you can just ring up and go, this guy's had under quid off me, I'm going to need that under-credit back when there's someone more middle class on the phone. And they're like, he's done it, he's, what, he's done it again? He's done it again. Stay, but he's such a good carpet fitter. The rogue cowboy of the old carpet west.

He's such a carpet fit. He's done it again. Yeah. So you wouldn't do carpets, but you would do floors. No, I do, no, I wouldn't do floors. After me trying to paint and vinyl sort of carpet a doll's house, I don't think I could handle the real thing, to be honest. That's such a nice thing you did for your daughter.

She was just a doll's house. Yeah, but it's nice, though. You've made their own... They needed to put the lights in, put some lights in. That's really cool. So for those people who are listening who don't know, you basically bought a kind of, what, an empty shell of a doll's house? Empty Shells of Doll's House from Facebook Marketplace,

and it was all just wood, sort of slightly dirty, disheveled wood. And I painted the front and the back, well, I painted everything, put, like, wallpaper in. I put a little lighting system in so you can see. Do you find that easy to do? I think, it's just, like, painting's quite fiddly, isn't it? Like, in and out of, yeah.

Did you use little LED lights then and stuff? Yeah, yeah. But really, I only had them in the house. And that's never happened before in my life. I've bought something. For Christmas? Yeah. I've never bought, I've never

come to a job I haven't had to buy something of Amazon or B&Q or whatever I thought I already had in my house I was like yes I can finally use these little lights A lot of time you do have in your house you can't find it anyway and you'll find it three months later

Yeah exactly so annoying My wife's made and painted 10 ponties and 10 Washingers for Christmas for the son I have access to They're from the night garden Yeah right whereabouts where they painted No she just made them Oh made them

That little wooden tour Oh that's adorable Yeah. It's very, I find... She doesn't got a job, so... You know, when you sort of, like, get those little... When you have to sort of paint something, the thing that really annoys me is undercour.

Right. Primer. Yeah. Stuff you got to do before you actually get the fun stuff. Yeah, when we had our house decorated, it was astonishing the amount of time they spent on preparing the surfaces. Yeah.

And I think that's probably the thing that people overlook the most, I reckon. That's the thing that fucks it up. Because they were, like, sand in it, filling it, base layer. seemed like they were sanding it again over and over again they're priming then they sand

which feels mad but yeah incredible but it sounds like you had a proper artist in there not an absolute rank amateur oh yeah they were good how are your preparations for Christmas

going generally Peter not great we're recording this the day before it goes out and I am flustered I've not got any presents so you're recording this people who listen to the football rambler as well of which there are many will know or at least

partly remember that you were up in London or over in London for a social event last night. Yes. Which went awry, went south. Went awry, it did go south. And you ended up spending the night in a hostel because you couldn't get home because you were so unwell. And that's not going to get anything done on the Christmas admin front, is it?

No, that's true. You're just losing time there, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. So what do you still need to do? Lebooboos? Do you want to get the boobos? No, I've got the, I've got the, the nieces some stuff. There's just a lot of stuff that needs to be purchased.

it's going to be Amazon, isn't it? Probably. I'm going to contribute to the problems. Yeah, I'm pretty good. We're pretty that much there. We've got a couple of other bits to get, but we're pretty much there. And we're fortunate because we go down to my parents for Christmas.

We don't really have to do much. So all the food and everything, that's all taken care of. But you've elected to host this year, though. So that's on you really. A lot of people, yeah, there's a lot of people going to be arriving, and I just fear that... What day are they coming?

It's quite hard to... You have more time further away from Christmas, but you start buying stuff. That's Mark Salmoner. ain't going to last. You know, all the sort of stuff, the nice sort of little dishes, trifles and stuff,

they last. Sometimes you get one at the 24th of December. You're like, oh, come on. What's the point of buying it? What's the point of him selling it? They're selling Christmas stuff

that won't last until Christmas. It doesn't make any sense. What day are the people descending on your, just Christmas Eve for a couple of them, but they're not staying in our house, the old, the nieces and my sister. I booked a harvester

for Christmas Eve. Have you? Beef feeders. Beef feeters. Is that what's called beef eaters? Yeah, a little bit of a little bit of Christmas buffet action. Very nice. I do do, we do a lot of harvesters.

I went to harvester, so my niece had a football trial at a Premier League club, or a WSL club, I suppose, you'd call it. But it was at Brighton's training ground. And we were looking for some lunch to go, to go for some lunch afterwards. And there was a harvester right near there. And it was appalling. What do you mean?

It was just wild. So the bread rolls on the salad thing, they were like exactly in every single conceivable way, like a bread roll you get on a plane. Oh, yeah, tight. Rock hard, tight. Yeah, like they've been out for days. I think they've probably got something in them to preserve them

because they know that nobody's picking them up. Nobody's pick. If you've got the choice of like some sweet potato salad or crispy onion bits. Yeah. You'd expect it. The salad bar is very overrated. They trade on it. Yeah.

You expect it to be good. It's not good, is it? Shredded carrots. Turn that into a call slot and I'll eat it. But I'm not having shredded carrots. And I think, do you get a spoilt, do you reckon? Because when you live in London, you don't really have a need to go to a harvester. Because there's a really harvester quite near where I live.

Yeah. But you never have a need to go there because... There's so many other options. Yeah, exactly. But I think if you were in a... I mean, because the Brighton training ground isn't even in Brighton. It's like a bit further out. I think it's in Lansing, which is obviously a small town.

Yeah. So I don't imagine many of the players are going now on the way, oh. No. Probably not hitting up the harvester. They're probably more sort of the Perry Perry Chicken kind of vibes, aren't they? Nando's. You can say Nandos. You didn't want to say carpet right earlier.

If indeed it is carpet right. I couldn't think of another carpet company, to be honest. Floors for you? You're making that up. That's not a thing. There must be one called floors for you, right? Well, it's everything for you. What's the most obscure thing you could buy, and there'll be a for you?

Ostrich meat. I'm going to type in ostrich meat for you. Do you reckon it's such a prevalent name for a company that would be for everything? Yeah. There won't be one called ostrich meat for you. That's mad. They might not called meat for you.

There's the meatman.com. He's selling us for me. He's doing well on the SEO. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he's right at the top, yeah. I wonder how he's getting those rankings. Exactly, yeah. We had ostrich meat when we're in South Africa, didn't we?

We did indeed. You do see it quite a lot in Aldi's. Do you? Oh, there's a company called Viva who've launched a campaign against ostrich meat in Tescos. Is it bad for the environment? Is it cruel to the animals? What's the vibe?

Probably Tesco's was the largest supplier of ostrich meat. Yeah, I'd have that. Really? They're a massive company, aren't they? Yeah, but do you see a lot of ostrich meat in Tesco's? I don't think I do. I just because of footfall, generally, people are going to be trying it. It's not in the old meal deal, is it?

There's a South African produce shop in Victoria Station, isn't there? Yes. It does, like, what's a South African barbecue called? Is it a brie? Right, okay. They do bry packs in there and they have ostrich meat in them. You just go on there for jerky, don't you?

Nice chili. They have jerky in there. It's basically, I think, for the South African expats who want the snacks. Who live in the south-east of London, I suppose. They'll be an Australian one that's healthy in times. People are going to...

People are going to... It's a clapper minutes where a lot of clapham and... I don't really know. I thought the Sir African diaspora was in West London. All the Antipidians are all kind of like Southwest London, aren't they? It's South Africa Antipides?

Yeah. Is it? Yeah, it's counting? Is it? South Africa, that's why they're quite similar. South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. I thought they were all antipidine, aren't they? I don't know what mix and I don't know what an antipode is. Australia and New Zealand only, apparently.

Oh, I always thought South Africa was, maybe I'm just thinking of the rugby or cricket or something. Must just be, yeah. Oh, well, never mind. The dictionary definition is Australia and New Zealand used by inhabitants of the northern hemisphere. Is there any reference to South Africa in that Wikipedia? No.

I'm annoyed because I've been thinking that for years. People have probably been laughing at you behind your back. Probably. What was your memories of when we went to South Africa? What was your impression? We saw some little lions in a little zoo, didn't we? That was bad, with it? It was bad, that.

At the time, I didn't realize, I think it was bad. We got to play with them, didn't we? I think it was bad, bad then. Did we? Yeah. But we were like, I wasn't thinking about it. It was just rare we got a trip out, one would suggest. Saw a big snake as well.

We did see a big snake. We got, I was wearing like a leather. It was kind of, it's weird, wasn't it? It felt like it should be warmer, but it's not. It was bloody cold. It was cold. I remember I've got a great photo of me with a big python around me neck.

At one point when we were, that place that had all the crocodiles and all the snakes, that felt to me at the time as being quite lax. What do you mean? As in like what security? Well, I'll tell you what I mean. At one point, the bloke just said,

do you want to have the snake around your neck? To which I said, yes, please. Snake me. I've got a big snake around my neck. And then behind him, when he was standing looking at me, another big snake just slivered past him. He's off.

And I was thinking, Do you know about that? Is that just, yeah, could that have just popped in, though? It was making a B-line for the exit. Got to catch a train. And what was weird about having the python around my neck is you could feel it's starting to constrict. No, he could.

You could, it starts to coil around you, slowly. Slowly, right. Yeah, it's not like, I mean, it's kind of weird, but it's not like they're going to strangle you. So it can't move very fast. They just sort of slowly constricts and... They start to curl around you. I don't know if it's intending death,

but it started to call around me a bit yeah I just want to hug yeah maybe I was happy with it I'm not bothered about snakes really no I'm not a big I wouldn't want to have a big spider on me I don't mind I don't mind anything like that

I don't mind anything like that I don't mind the other morning speaking of that the other morning we went my son woke up I did the usual got him up went into the living room what normally doing on the weekend

I'll say get yourself in the living room and sometimes he wants to play with his toys and sometimes he wants to watch a bit of telly or whatever weekends we can't in the morning we allow that and um and as i walked him in there to put the light on because he can't reach the light which the light turns the light and there was a massive spider in the middle the living room floor oh he was he was into it yeah i thought he'd be frightened

it's not no he just run over and i think when they start moving if they're static i think when they start moving it's oh but i think as i don't think he's got any basis to know what's scary and what's not yeah he was just interesting so i put it in a pint glass with a piece of paper so he could look at it yeah and then eventually when he got bored of it i chucked out the window um because i don't kill anything in the house apart from mosquitoes wasps and that's it i don't kill anything apart from moths i's discussed moths yeah i think that's poor of you that eat your clothes and your carpet i can't afford new clothes i can't bloody moths kicking around chomping on my stuff all these hostel bills are adding up aren't they so much was the hostel by the way

forty three pounds as a walk in that's not bad that's not bad it's not bad for your own room for my own room i mean it was a bed and a toilet the shower was it clean yes it was it was very warm. I don't know what old building. It's like an old New York sort of town hall kind of building. Like a lot of the pipes are just absolutely red hot. Did you feel depressed? I was just happy to have a little lie down

to be honest. It's not tired. What time is it by the time you got in there? About nine, I think. Okay. Nine. Why do you just go to a nicer hotel? It's like 200 and fucking hundred quid knots. I've started living life properly. I started sort of thinking about

I can't be dropping. I hate this about you. You used to spend so much money all the time. Holiday Inn around the corn from where we are. It was like $240 quid. The Holiday Inn for one night, on a Tuesday night. That one up there? Yeah. Incredible.

And you've seen the state of it. I don't know what's like inside, though. I mean, the Sanderson Hotel on burning. It screams asbestos. I'm not saying it does have asbestos in it. I'm just saying it's one of those buildings that looks like it's got asbestos in it. The special is actually fine unless you break it up, though. Yeah.

But one of that... Well, they only eat some then. Just a point... Swallow it. Just a point of order on the hotel from. the outside thing, the Sanderson, which I think is on Burner Street, just over there, is an amazing

hotel, and from the outside looks like absolute shit. Right. Yeah. You sometimes get that. There's one off, just off, Houston Square, that's quite nice. You, you, I think, nowadays, there has to be more choice, I think, because people, I don't think people are standing for 200 quid for a night in a, in a shit. But you honestly think that's bad? For London, central London. I think it's awful. It's 240 quid.

What would you be happy to spend? I would have gone up to about 7599 I think you're living in a dream world in this economy I know it's a disgrace When you stayed in the Ibis in Portsmouth that time

How much was that that'd be cheap That was cheap Yeah that was that was That was that was I think it was probably about 70 quid But it was a Saturday night That was a law point for me You're in Fitzrovia

I know I know It's a different different vibe Why was the Ibis in Portsmouth A low point That's the worst Place I've ever been And I'll include the hostel Like stayed in last night

full of shouting French teenagers what the hostel was you mean what was so bad with the ibis it was very sparse carpet was very thin again it felt asbestos yeah

it really is the sort of place you do yourself in in it really is awful stuff don't bring the mood down not a week before Christmas oh sorry literally a week before Christmas a lot of people will be facing Christmas without anyone

don't bring that in then I'm just saying we're here for them I got a moon pig reminder that my Antony Jones Christmas card needs to be sent today She's died She's died Unbelievable

That is the problem With the old moon pig Isn't it? You have to update that How do I tell moon pig That anti Joan is no longer with us I think you're filling in a form Do you fill in a form?

You probably have to tell them But we just delete Delete the reminder Yeah I know I've unsubscribe now But I'm just like Do you have to sort of email And go

Can you stop reminding me About my anti John Yeah Weird isn't it It's a weird world We live in a world We live in a world of total Double Speak

Don't we I'll tell you what I mean by that in a minute let's have a break and we come back I'll gild that Lily a bit further All right then It's the Luke and Peter I'll be Donaldson We've got a lily

And Luke has got some wet Moulton gold Well I won't go that far But what I would say is that It's interesting to me The extent to which I actually speak to your friend of mine Rick Edwards about this the other day

I did fight and talk with him And we were chatting about life A little bit of downtime We were chatting about life generally Because all of our kids are a similar age, aren't they? So we're just talking about the thing. Anyway, and I was talking about how I had a really weird experience the other day. So I'll tell you what happened.

Three things in a row happened to me, which I think sum up what modern society has become. Now, I don't mean this in the kind of old man way, but just means as in the society we've built for ourselves, all of us, everyone listening here and us and everyone else. So basically, Pete, I woke up in the morning to some, emails one was from Amazon right yeah and it said like can you remind Pete about his auntie Jones yeah said to do it sensitively he actually passed away no and it was about um

it was about an Amazon subscribe and save right and it was obviously automated yeah and it said um we we get we get our cats food on subscribe and save so every month they send two bags yeah cat food they keep sending me too much dog warmer I think I might to eat it myself it's difficult you should definitely do that um book the hostel again. So it's difficult to get the amounts right, isn't it on the subscriber save? You always end up too much or you've run short.

So we've got these two bags of cat food and it's normally I think 14 pound a month or something. Right. And I got an email saying, good news, your subscribe and save item meowing heads cat food

is now 18 pounds a month right. A 10% saving. Right. And I was like, okay, but it fucking isn't a 10% saving. You've charged me four quid extra.

Yeah. But you've basically decided to say the 10% saving would be off the retail price. Right. Describe the save price. But you're basically lying, you'll cost me more money. And I was like, how can they get away with that? And the reason they get away with it is because they say you are technically still saving. Because if you just bought it as a one-off, it would be more money.

Right. But it's a piss-taic. You're basically fucking lying, right? So I was like, that's annoying. So that annoyed me, right? Then I had to go and do something. I think I was going to the driving range or whatever. It's very busy that thing.

And I got in the car. And I put out the car behind a bus. Are you paying congestion charge here? No. In West Norwood, no way. Really? Oh, here? No, I mean, yeah, in West Norwood.

No? No. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, I live in like Zone 2.3. Isn't there another one? What's the other one? It's not congestion charge. U-Lez.

You-Lez. No, I've got a brand-new car, so it's fine. Oh, okay. And it's also a hybrid, so it's fine. They'll come for you. Oh, they will, of course. I'll pull out behind this bus, and the bus on the back of it's got an advert for the firm ESO.

Oh. The petrol company. I thought it was going to be the pet food. No, no, it's ESO, right? And the whole advert is tips on how you can use less petrol. Right. Because they've obviously got some environmental sustainability to do that. Yeah.

They sell petrol. Yeah. So the worst thing can happen to them is people to buy less petrol, but they're actively telling people to sell less petrol. I think it's one of those things that they are pretended to be good guys, but they fully know that nobody... It's not like an item you really lust for, is it? It's something you need.

It's something you run out of and you're like, oh, fuck. But you understand it. It's a weird thing for a society to have created, though. Because also, outside the driving range on a big billboard is a gambling firm advertising how you can gamble less. Yeah. There's a one of the big ones on telly you're advertising and they go, and the whole advert is about a man saying nor to do any gambling. Yeah. So that's three examples in one day of the complete double-speak world we now live in.

Yeah. Court mandated almost. The reason the gambling companies have to do that, by the way, I know this for a fact, is because the government want to fend off problem gamblers because societally that's a problem, but at the same time they need the revenue. So they don't want people to stop gambling, but they don't want them to gamble too much. So that has to tread this tightrope, right? Obviously, the petrol company, it's about, they need to say enough petrol to make money,

but not so much that they look to be destroying the environment because they're worried to lose their customers and they're one of the get in trouble with the government. And the Amazon thing, I mean, they've completely monopolised the entire society of consumers. And also,

I just think that there's no brand loyalty to different petrol firms, is there? I don't go, hmm, lovely bit of S.O.? No. Lovely bit of, I don't know any of the other. I suppose you might have, maybe you've got loyalty points or something.

Do you do any of that with the old, they always ask me, I don't know, and as discussed, I'm not doing a charity donation. Oh, yeah, we've talked about that before. But those examples I've given, it's all quite Orwellian, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

Is there like real wolf and sheep's clothing kind of bollocks, isn't it? I just think that, I just think that, you know, to me it feels like, because if you look at, say, BP's logo and BP's... Lovely shell. No. No, that's Shell, obviously. It's a green and yellow flower. Right, yes.

And it's like, if you didn't know who they were, if you were beamed down from another planet, you would think they were like an environmental company. Yeah, they'd be called Beautiful Planet. And they've done it on purpose. Yeah. And then they've also sponsored the nature photography of the year at the Tate Modern competition. Yeah.

You would like, there must be other, like, you'd be like, oh, fuck off. If it's, like, bearing a mind, like, art is supposed to be out truth and honesty and, you know, telling a, telling a story. Well, do you reckon a lot of photographers just refuse to be involved in it then? Maybe. Maybe. No, but I think that the, um, but I think the, the companies that do these kind of, like, the tape should be saying we've got enough money we don't need to be sponsored by

fucking s or bp or whatever yeah no yeah i mean but i guess that i suppose it's just it's just a money thing and at the end of the day every company seems to be owned by some terrible company so even the you know even the ones that seem okay we like all the adverts on this show don't we like the only had vets on our show all of them are fine yeah they've been for a very vigorous um vetting vetting process when they put into my email to say, yeah. Oh, you read all them, so you read all, yeah, I don't even know they are. I don't, I don't, um, listen to the...

Ostrich meat for you. Yeah. You should do an advert for that. I'm a sponsor for Ostrich meat for you. Do a mock up and then send that as an example to every ostrich meat company. So here's what you can have a piece of. Yeah. Um, sure, before we go, shall I give you a little, um, a lovely little Reddit post

that I very much enjoyed, um, from the Ask UK, uh, subreddit. Sure. It's an American. What is, what is the ask UK? What is that? I think it's just, I think it's just a, well, apparently it's the number one subreddit life and culture in the United Kingdom. Okay.

So... We should try answering myself. Exactly. Somebody said, can I... Can someone explain an interaction I had in London? Nice.

So I'm an American over in London on vacation. I was walking through the Camden Market area with my mom. Kind of looking at the ground minding my own business. As we're passing by this one group of guys,

out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I see one of the guys pointing at me and he says, you like my shoes. I'll break your neck if you keep looking at them. Keep in mind this dude was

so far in my peripheral vision. I didn't even see what his shoes look like or what he looked like for what matter. I just keep walking. It took my brain a few seconds to process what this guy just said, but my mum said she saw it and heard it too. Needless to say, his comment

would definitely not go over well back home. Was this just some English humor? My American brain didn't understand. Or was this guy just being an asshole? And someone replied, this is actually pretty common. This is a group of what's known as a bunch of cunts. Well, Camden, you get characters.

You get characters in Camden. remember a man... Not as man as you used to do, but you do still go. No. I read, my formative kind of memories of Camden was a man. I saw a DVD in a gutter, and it was a pirated copy of Maiden Manhattan, the J-LO vehicle. Nice. Ben Affleck vehicle?

Yeah, probably. And I picked it up, and then this bloat ran over. Grab the DVD and sort of like, sort of jammed into my neck and went, don't fuck with me. Dougie fresh and then he ran off with the DVD. It's just after you moved to London. It wasn't that far in, yeah. It's Ray Fine, it's not, um, bare, like I just checked. Right, okay.

You do have to get involved, you do have to get used to how America, sorry, America, how, London's, how London kind of works. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you'll get. You need, you need to filter out imminent danger, yeah. General menace. Yeah, because even things like, mild threat. Even innocuous things, which I can 100% understand to someone who's not from London, would seem quite trivial

can be really important to Londoners like for example standing on the right on the escalator if you stand on the left you're going to get fucking pelters and it's probably not going to be conducive to the level of offence yeah and if you're not a big offence to cause no to commit

but to Londoners it's a fucking cardinal scene and also I think just living in cities like you are constantly faced by people who are shouting yeah yeah and you're like if you've never lived in the city before you're like what the fuck is happening A great example of that is outside Brixton Station, right?

They have, there's a guy there who's ostensibly busking. Right. But if you think about busking as a principle, it's like I'm trying to essentially entertain people on their commute or their walk in quite a nice way. So they think, oh, what a talented person. Here's some money, right? The guy who busks outside Brixton has got like a really old PV speaker, which has clearly got the holes in the speaker. Yeah. So it's really fuzzy.

Cragly, yeah. Yeah, it's turned up to the maximum volume, right, plugged into a 12-volt, sort of big battery. Yeah, not quite a car battery, but big, you know. But a battery, yeah. And he jams out, like blasts out, really aggressive, like dance hall music, an ear-splitting volume and screams into a mic over the top of it. Yeah, nice. No one is ever going to give him any money. And the last time I saw him, he didn't even have a cup out.

Right. I think he's just doing it. He's just doing it. That's what he does. To other people, that would seem baffling, but I've just become part of my day. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love to see, because there was also an initiative recently talking about how they're going to move buskers on, unlicensed buskers from Tube Station and stuff. Right. I'd love to see who gets the gig doing that. Gets with him.

The, we used to do, like, on, it was Leverne's breakfast or on XFM, we did street heroes, basically, you know, ring in, tell us about the bloke or lady who is providing

a little bit of a unique sort of colour to the streets of your town and there was just so many amazing little sort of hustles going on and stuff you know just just I mean I mean it was a lot of it was just mentally ill people but it was I think those things make cities

to be quite frank you're like oh I've not seen that for a while you don't get in London where you do get in a lot of other big cities car horns all the time you do get them but New York is terrible for it Istanbul fucking hell you never you can never

Tyra, you never, there's never a break from it. Yeah, we're good at queuing. That's what we do. Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, let's get out of here. That's been a little picture for, well, tomorrow, aka your Thursday. If you've got any batteries,

we are looking to resurrect this feature. Hello at littlebiture.com, and we'll be back on Monday for more of this. So look at you, look after yourselves. I hope you've got all of your Christmas stuff. Sorted, if you observe, like I haven't. But in the meantime, we'll see you soon. The Luke and Pete show is a stack production and part of the ACAST creator network.