The Luke and Pete Show - A Real Speed Demon

Episode Date: January 7, 2021

On today’s episode, we’re back on the road as Speed Demon Pete Donaldson chats about his recent long-distance scooter trip, while Luke shares his theory on how to successfully jump out of a plane. Elsewhere, we discuss a 10 year old’s journey into weightlifting before looking at how to train your child with a tin of beans.In other exciting news, TWO NEW PLAYERS HAVE ENTERED THE GAME...both with rather arousing names. Listen now!Get in touch at [e-mail] take time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us.See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And we're back. It's the Luke and Pete show. I've got burn on my finger. I don't like it. I don't like it. It's a Thursday. Luke, how the devil are you? You're wearing a lovely jumper.

We're in the same studio as each other. Yeah, I'm bloody good, thanks. You didn't comment on my jumper before. I didn't, no. I didn't like it back then. I've grown on it. No, it's grown on me. Hello, everyone.

It's nice to speak to you on this probably disgustingly damp Thursday yeah it is you've just got to get through it mate this jumper is a good jumper I'm pleased

you noticed it I like it the problem I have with it which is a problem with a lot of the jumpers I wear it's wool

it's difficult to wash how do you what are your techniques what are your techniques my technique usually is to put it in the washing machine because I've forgotten because it's wool it's difficult to wash how do you what are your techniques what are your techniques my technique usually is to put it in the washing machine because I've forgotten because it's so small

that my wife gets a free jumper that's good that they can be reused it's not good stretched out that's cool she's got about 400 of them and I've got none now so what you have to do

is you have to either hand wash it or I believe you might even have to have it dry cleaned boring two boring solutions. Claude should not exist to do that. It's like in Kirby Enthusiasm when he gets on the high horse

about the unwritten rule of the dry cleaners. What's the unwritten rule of the dry cleaners? Sometimes they lose something and it goes to someone else, but sometimes you get something. I never get anything. I only get my stuff lost. I never get anything back. But yeah, so thank you very much.

You are wearing a very nice tweed jacket today. Is that tweed or houndstooth? I think it's houndstooth design. I think it might actually be wool, to be honest. But yeah, it's been through the ring of this one. So it's only got one inside pocket, which I find quite upsetting. Yeah. Where do I keep my keys?

No, you won't. I've found it, as I've got older, more and more, I've found the existence of a large set of keys. Annoying? My keys have only gotten bigger over the past few months with my scooter and stuff. Oh, yeah? How's the scooter going?

Fine. It's cold today. I should have worn my gloves. Did you ride it in today? I did ride it in today. Well, I rode it to the station, and they got on the train. How long would it take? It would take me about an hour and a half,

because I can't go on any motorways. You should definitely do that. Yeah, I'm a crack, yeah. You should definitely do that. I'll wait until it gets a bit warmer it's a bit safer though because you wouldn't necessarily come into contact with anyone else

good point so safer for them so how long does it take you to ride to the station about two minutes have you got a good lock for it

I bought I couldn't lock it at one point because the key was not working and I could not figure it out for love nor money. So I just kind of like positioned it as if it was locked.

Right. So some enterprising scooter thief could have been, could have had a free, could have had a free scooter. I was talking about this in the Rumble. What happened to the scooter gangs? Yeah. I saw one over Christmas. I sent you a video of them.

What? No, but like the scooter gangs who'd steal mobile phones. Remember? Oh, you still get them up and down like covid probably Bedford

covid probably right okay the ones I respect the most are the ones that just plough themselves into shop windows and just grab all the watches

is that scooter are those scooters yeah oh really wow sometimes I do that yeah that's brave isn't it

it's mad but I think covid's put a stop to it yeah exactly but I was going to say to you where's your helmet do you put it in the little

compartment it sits under the seat oh it's the Wang Yi 125T yeah it really is the ride of a generation so that few minutes

ride from your house to the station that's a good part of the day for you is it fun yeah I love it I love it I'm a real speed demon mate

I'm thinking about getting one yeah you're getting excited I am a bit getting excited may I recommend one of those I saw like a picture of like an 80s scooter do you remember when

like in the 80s all of the scooter lights would be square yeah and they'd be like they'd just they were like horrible like Yamaha

Japanese concoctions and they looked so 80s they did look good so the the kind of fancy that the absolute pin-up of the genre right what so when i when i was 17 16 17 i had a peugeot moped right which became quite fashionable at the time and um i think what happened was this is the measure of the person i was when i was that age i think i think my granddad might have given me a bit of money for my education. For your education? I think he said, oh, this is

when you go to university. But I decided, only a small amount, we're talking about probably £1,500 maybe. Right, okay. But I mean, to be honest, if I know you, and I think you know you, certainly. I hope so yeah I mean

that would have been pissed up the wall if you're if you're well no so this is a good investment but the thing was

I then did so badly in my A level it was no longer an option so I had this money and I said to my granddad well look I've got a job now it'd be really cool

if I could I mean I'm not quite old enough or I haven't passed my test to get a car could I spend it on the scooter instead and to be fair to him

he was like yeah yeah go for it and so I got one anyway the point being I got one and I was in a little moped scooter gang with my pals

right and we three of us had one and my friend Mark Mark Dunford who I've talked to you about before he's come in here before

he does a load of newspaper coverage for the Roundhouse. Oh, that's right, yeah. He had a Honda Vision. Honda Vision? And this is about 1996, and it was quite old then, so that might have even been a late 80s Honda Vision. Yes, that now, that's what I'm talking about. Honda Vision, I mean, I guess that's...

Type in Honda Vision 1992 or something. 1990s, there we go. That sort of thing. Beautiful, yeah. Exactly like that. Lovely square slash oval lights. Yeah, it was really cool. But the problem was,

his could only go about 32 miles an hour. And mine could go about 38. Right. So I used to get a little bit frustrated. Why do you need to go that fast? You were young and free back then. 38 miles an hour is not fast, is it? Didn't care about the danger.

A Honda Vision 50, white, beautiful. Yeah. This has now become a scooter podcast. Yeah. Where we talk about cool scooters from the... Put some sound effects on it. Natalie, put some... Put some...

It cannot be a motorbike. It has to be a Honda. A motor. It has to be a Honda it has to be a Honda Vision yeah scooter from the 90s I saw

when I was in town on Boxing Day I saw a little scooter gang as in the gang who ride around Vespers and just put their parkas on not committing crimes

and I sent you a video of it yes yeah yeah yeah you did yeah I thought you might have been involved. Sadly, you were not. I don't think they allow L plates and you've got to go for your proper test.

No. And I'll tell you what would be a really cool... So, you know, I said to you before that on Boxing Day I came into the town, into London, and there was no one around and it was really fun. I went to Richmond Park on Sunday. Yeah.

And it was busy because obviously it's one of the only things that people can actually do recreationally now but we kept our social distancing it was fine we had a nice walk but have you been to Richmond Park?

I walk I used to walk across it a lot when I'd get off at the wrong station when I had to get to Gunnersbury because that line's a bit of a shit show I mean

that is a walk I know I used to go like Scion Lane and kind of like stroll back. No, I think you're thinking of Osterley Park, aren't you? Osterley. I remember, yeah, I remember sort of walking like certain parts.

Yeah, I've walked through Richmond Park. Richmond Park. It's very pretty. It's about, probably about three and a half miles long. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's about two tube stations worth of... Right, anyway, I was just going to say, if you could have that whole park to yourself

and maybe a scrambler motor that'd be amazing yes like absolutely tearing it up yeah I'd want I'd want four wheels

I think just to handle all of the yeah I want to handle all of the lumps and bumps but yeah quads are one of those things that are like

a lot more they seem to be a lot more dangerous than you'd think they seem to flip quite a lot am I thinking just because of Rick Mayall

fell off while he almost died. He did, yeah. Didn't Ozzy Osbourne as well? Didn't Mike Carroll the lottery lout? Did he?

Didn't he? Wasn't he big into that sort of thing? So I think straight off the top of our heads, is it not weird that straight off

the top of our heads we can think of three famous people who've hurt themselves on quads? Because you've never seen quads. No.

So they must be dangerous. They seem to be more dangerous than horses, which is mad. Well, Pilot Neil might pipe up, but I would say

there was something like 47% of the flights took off last year and yet there were more deaths. How come? I think the Pakistani jet that went down and there was another one

as well that went down. It was the one shot down by the Iranians, wasn't it? Remember? Oh man, that feels like it was about 10 years ago. Yeah, that was January I think it was. So that absolutely kind of buoyed those figures. Just don't shoot down passenger jet guys.

Passenger jets guys. That was frightening. When that one happened over Ukraine, that was frightening. I mean, any kind of plane crash is frightening anyway. And I think the reason for that, and yeah, Pilot Neil or pilot rob or pilot whoever can get in touch because we've got a burgeoning and very close-knit pilot community listening our pilot lights but peter the idea of a plane crash is frightening anyway but let me let

me just tell you something now you know when someone's scared of flying and i know phobia is something different because phobia is completely psychological and you probably need some kind of treatment for that because that's like when it crosses over into something medical right if you're sort of

medium frightened of flying and someone will always say to you it's the safest way to travel or whatever you're much more likely to crash your car than you are to

crash a plane but when you're going to be in a plane crash I mean the writing is on the wall right if you're going to be in a car crash

it doesn't seem as scary because you think rightly or wrongly that you're probably going to walk away yeah because you're on the wall, right? If you're going to be in a car crash, it doesn't seem as scary because you think, rightly or wrongly, that you're probably going to walk away. Yeah. Because you're on the ground. Yeah. That's the big factor, isn't it? Yeah. If you find yourself in the air in a car, you're like, yeah, this could go badly. And I've asked this before

and you've never answered it satisfactorily. Why doesn't everyone just have a parachute under their seat? Because you've probably got limited time to get out of the plane. Most, like, what if you can't get off the back of the plane? Because if you get off the front of the plane, you'll probably end up in the engine.

Like, there's a lot of, like, physical... The landing speed of a 747, which is massive, is only about 170 miles an hour. It's not that fast. So if you brought them right down to landing speed landing speed and everyone could just jump out with a parachute

yeah but if you you would have to jump out behind the engines that's fine what if you've got engines over the over the top bit the back bit

747 doesn't have that does it no but like but there's would you not get burned up by the engines would you like the engines are too powerful

would you not like get like heat problems? I'm just saying. Smoke inhalation, you've got lack of oxygen, you've got all this stuff that you've got to factor

and your best bet is the air. Nah, because you've got to bring the plane lower. You've got to bring the plane lower. Yeah, but so, I think maybe jumping out of that, a plane at that speed might be like,

with that size of plane might be problematic. I don't know. I don't know, but. All I'm saying is, right, and I haven't thought this through, but what I'm saying is. You couldn't get the door don't know, but... What I'm saying is, right, and I haven't thought this through, but what I'm saying is...

You couldn't get the door open at height, surely? No, well, let me put it another way. If the pilot's got enough control to take it down to a... Everyone get off! Yeah.

He's got enough time. He's probably not got enough time to empty the plane before he crashes. And what about him? Like on a bus, you should better press a button so I want to get off now.

But what I'm saying is plane travel is so prevalent now. Should they not have solved this problem? What do you mean? It's safer for the pilot to get. I think statistically it will be safer for the pilot. So many variables of people,

A, not being able to run a parachute. B, like everyone would die compared to, let's have the pilot land it. No, because people die in plane crashes. It's as simple as that, isn't it? If a guy can land a plane and he can land a plane, there's no problem. Right.

I'm talking about the writings on the wall stuff. A writing on the wall situation. Right. Right, which I think we all know what I'm talking about. I don't want to be too morose at the start of the year. 9-11? No. Right.

No, where's that come from? Well, I'm trying to think of the writing of the wall, plane incidents. Well, I'm just saying, if a plane comes down, you're dead. Not necessarily, though. People have, like, whole fuselages have been torn to bits and they've still landed the plane. Yeah.

And I watch this guy called Mentor Pilot. Yeah, Mentor Pilot. He's this kind of, he's got this beautiful kind of sort of Swiss accent, I think, and he runs through all of these plane crashes and how good the pilots were to get it down, you know, and what the rules and regulations are pertaining to landing a plane in that condition and how these people managed to rescue it and stuff. I was watching one, Antonov, the engine failure in a runway excursion.

It went too far and knocked down a few fences and stuff and he goes through all of what the pilots did wrong what the pilots did right and how they were amazing to land it but he's got two little dogs as well which just makes it better so the dogs are just always. Can he normally go for what are his credentials?

He's a pilot and can he normally interpret how things are going and stuff? Well yeah because, because there's obviously a report, and it's all public, isn't it, in many cases, unless you're working under the Iron Curtain and stuff. They're usually pretty public about what's went on, the data that they're given after the plane goes down and stuff. So it's all pretty out there in most cases.

It's fascinating. It is. I'm going to change the subject ever so slightly and say that I'm really sad that MF Doom died. Yes. Sad start to the year, that. It's someone that you've talked about in glowing terms for a very long time, Luke.

I can't pretend to know much of his music, but he certainly touched you. Well, it came out on New Year's Eve that he had died a couple of months before. That's amazing. Which is quite mad for... New Year's Eve that he had died a couple of months before. That's amazing. Which is quite mad for... But I think that's quite magical for a character who kind of, you know,

you didn't really know what he looked like in the main. No. It was a bit kiss with makeup kind of thing. And he managed to sort of keep it under wraps for that length of time. He was a really interesting character and his music was fascinating.

I wouldn't profess to be an expert or anything like that, but the music of his I've heard I really like. He was a really interesting character and his music was fascinating. I wouldn't profess to be an expert on it or anything like that, but the music of his I've heard I really like. He's an amazing rapper and artist. He's a rapper's rapper, wasn't he? Yeah, just like a fascinating character. Yeah, because I went to see him live

with Andy Brassel, right? And it was a mad experience because the sound was terrible. Or a man in Andy Brassel's mask. Could have been, could have been. But it was a mad experience because the sound man and andy andy brussels mask could have been could have been but it was a mad experience because the music the sound quality was just terrible but it was just amazing to see him in the flesh and you could tell the reverence that people in the audience had it was at brixton academy it's like a big show the reverence that people held him in just by being present in front of him because he was known as this like um that legendary rapper basically as you said like your your favorite

rapper's favorite rapper danny kelly who's a friend of mine and i've worked with him before obviously as well he said um he said on twitter 2020 saves another hammer blow for the very last knocking because of course it broke on new year's eve my musical hero mf doom has died at 49 the family have announced the finest rapper ever and I believe one of the great manipulators of the English language. Born in London, a gift to the world. And it's a really,

the reason I read that tweet out is because Danny said that to me before. Danny's someone who's got, I think he owns, I mean he wouldn't be as bold to say this himself, but I think he's got one of the largest record collections in the UK. Yeah. And he's got one of the largest record collectors in the UK. Yeah.

And he's got this massive barn that he's built to host all these records. And he's got every single MF Doom record that's ever been released. And I never, ever thought Danny

would be like a big MF Doom fan because he's not really in like the, because like, you know, it just didn't seem like he'd be in the Venn diagram.

But he said to me once, oh yeah, look, I just think he's, the way he manipulates the English language, I've never heard anyone do it like that before.

So if you get a chance, I completely agree. Give it a listen. Give a listen to the Mad Villain album or listen to MFood, which is really good. And pay a little tribute to it to one of the great rappers,

one of the cleverest rappers around who sadly passed away at only 49 years old. It was announced on New Year's Eve. Give it a go. He always wore a mask. That's not the main thing about him, but it is quite a recognisable aspect of it, I suppose.

And he said that the reason he wore the mask always is because he was involved in hip-hop music from a very, very young age, I think from the late 80s. And he said he saw hip-hop music moving from, in his opinion being about finding the best beats rapping

being the best rapper to about image and about commercial appeal and that kind of stuff and about people coming in and turning a commercial dollar out of what it was and being all about image

and he said the only way I can get people to work out how good a rapper I am is to completely take my image away so he's put a mask away so I've never seen in public without a

mask on I just think that's a really fascinating idea so anyway for a number of different reasons you're a fascinating guy

well worth a listen if you get a chance which you would be able to because he's on Spotify and you could do it for free but I would recommend you support his estate

as well by a purchase or two legendary character I like that he could never afford remote control cars when he was a kid. So as he grew up and made a bit of money, he would just buy the biggest collection

of remote control cars. That appeals to you, right? That appeals to me. Because that's the kind of thing you do. Not, you know, I don't know his music, but I can appreciate that sentiment. Often he was seen riding his moped to Berkhamstead Station as well.

It's a big crossover there. Anyway, shall we have a little break? Yeah, all right. And when we come back, we'll do some emails and chat some more. All right then. This week on Stakhanov. Join the self-care club

as they trial out all those January health kicks. Listen as they put themselves to the test with Kous to 5K, Dry January and loads more. I think that evening was probably the closest you and I have ever come to having a bit of a Barney. Which we didn't have, but we nearly had one. It could have tipped into Broigus.

And why not check out the latest episode of Between the Lines with Melissa Reddy where Roberto Martinez reflects on the highs and lows of his managerial career and the lessons he's drawn from 14 years at the top of the game. When you're a young coach, you almost feel that you want to answer every doubt or every question mark that is surrounding your position and out there. And then the older that you get, you understand that you cannot stop that. It's impossible. You need to affect the headlines of tomorrow.

And that's the real power of working in football and being the manager. All that and a whole lot more at Sukarnov. And we're back with Luka Bicic on a Thursday. Oh, I've got an eyelash out of place. It's stabbing me in the cortex, so to speak. Stabbing me in the eye. to speak stabbing me in the eye cornea cornea

what is the cortex you can have a cortex of an eye couldn't you I don't know no idea I thought cortex was just the middle welcome back to the

Luke and Pete show as Peter has just said did you see there's a 10 year old weightlifter planning to open her own gym she's going to

kick your arse that's why people shouldn't be doing that at 10 have fun it's a bit Cristiano Ronaldo doing those crunches in her own gym. It's going to kick your arse. Yeah. That's why. People shouldn't be doing that at 10. Have fun. It's a bit Cristiano Ronaldo, isn't it?

Doing those crunches. Did you see, over the weekend, there was that bean dad that everyone was talking about. So I saw this trending, but I didn't bother investigating further. It's actually quite hard

to figure out what the fuck everyone's talking about. Yeah. Dickhead on Twitter, dad, is, he's sat in the house and his kid says, I'm hungry, dad.

Dad, I'm hungry. He's like, make some food then. And she goes, I can't. I don't know what. What do I eat? And he goes, beans. And so she grabs a can of beans. And it hasn't got one of those ring pull things on the top.

So she's like, I don't know how to open this. And he's like, oh, this can be a learning experience for my child. And for the next six hours, him and his hungry child, let's face it. How old is your child? She's nine. Right. She's trying, he is forcing her to figure out, without help, how to use a bottle opener, a can opener.

What, and filming it and putting it on the internet? Not filming it, but literally describing in excruciating detail why you know, how this has come about and how she's going about systematically going about opening this can and stuff. And he's sort of like oh, she doesn't know how to use this can opener because

I've never taught her. And the fundamental, like he's missing the fundamentals here. His child is hungry yeah and he refuses to feed her because he thinks

this is a learning experience but he's never taught how to use a fucking can opener give her a bean a minute until she figures it out but everyone wins then don't they

people are kind of sort of extrapolating this and sort of going this is what conservative America is like they've not given anybody any chance in life but they're but they're sort of going you this is what conservative America is. Like, they've not given anybody any chance in life, but they're sort of going, you do it on your own.

Do it on your own, figure it out yourself, and we won't help you. So all of the Mitch McConnells in this world, are you being dad, effectively? They're going, just fucking work it. So it's a nice little allegory for life. It's a metaphor for life. How do you feel about it?

I think he's a bellend. And the worst thing about it is... Bellend dad. It kind a metaphor for life. How do you feel about it? I think he's a bellend. And the worst thing about it, and the worst thing about it is, Bellend, Dad. It kind of reminds me of my dad watching me try to solder a guitar lead together and him laughing at how bad I was at soldering, even though he'd never taught me

how to fucking solder the bellend. So, being Dad Donaldson, very much, he is part of that. But the worst thing was, he started the tweet by going, my kid's shouting that she's hungry um and uh while i'm trying to do a jigsaw oh my god this guy's such a dick oh god so he obviously liberal america are kind of like rounded on this this idiot and and conservative america have

rounded on this idiot so the liberals the liberals are sort of saying this is indignantly crying, benity tears about it and Conservative America are going well she should learn how to use a can opener. I mean I'm finding out about this

for the first time and it's making me sad to be honest that this has not only happened We need some beans, accessible beans. Because I think

Why are we even using tin cans anymore? Well, this is the thing. Can we not have like a reopen and reclosable plastic kind of like cardboard-y, like waxed cardboard

kind of thing for beans? If you buy a multi-pack of beans... Why is there four cans of beans in there? You don't get the ring pull ones. Do you not?

I think I might be able to save some money. What? What? But if you buy a single one. So I only buy the small cans. Single. Oh, little babbads. Yeah, because that's all I need, really.

Do you not have those little plastic ones that are in a yoghurt pot? No, because they're more expensive for no reason. Well, they're easier to open, aren't they? No, but it's not difficult to open the ring pool ones. Would it be acceptable for the dad to say to his kid, all right, you're hungry, cool. Let's make something.

I'm going to give you 15 minutes to try and work this out. Yeah, not six hours. I'll show you. Six hours, he said. That's too long. It's too long. That is too long, isn't it?

Six hours is too long. Yeah. Because no nine-year-old is going to get better at something after six hours. We've got to get worse of anything. We're going to get tired.

Would you chuck her in the swimming pool and give her six hours to go on the swim? No, you of anything. We've got to get tired. Would you chuck on the swim, Paul? Give us six hours without the swim? No, you wouldn't. I mean, we get emails like that about men in people's lives

who've decided that their kid or their child needs to learn something the hard way. We get this all the time and it's... Yeah, it's not something

I'm broadly in favour of. Unless we're getting a good email about it I was saying sorry this 10 year old person is starting to run a gym and I just think that's

first of all at 10 years old your body's probably still growing you probably shouldn't be doing weights your body's still making those gains

getting small look if puberty is getting small it's getting swole mate but Pete I'm just saying if

I don't know this but I presume if you're under a certain age you probably shouldn't be lifting weights right I think the studies have suggested that

it's fine but I mean I saw a kid running around a park quite recently and she had her iPod on and she was just dressed like a jogger

and she was just jogging around the park and I know you're broadly in favour of running around in that for no good reason in my opinion well there is a good reason

I don't want to drop down dead and yeah she yeah so that's the reason but for her she couldn't have been older than 8 or 9

this happens a lot in the posh area near where I live right mums and dads and kids I'm gonna be generous and say

that because the last year or so has been tough for kids playing organised sport maybe they just want to keep fit and active

by doing that but they've seen adults do it and they've seen lots of because you know you see a lot of adverts for that

type of stuff now particularly on places like Instagram and keeping fit and like and all that type of stuff but generally speaking it happens Instagram and keeping fit and like and all that type of stuff but generally speaking it happens in the posh area

near where I live all the time you'll see and I'm not just saying this because they're spreading past me but you see like 10, 11, 12 year old kids out for actual runs

which was never a thing when we were a kid defeating their PB's it's not worth it no and we sound like old men but I just there's something about

kids jogging around tearing it around the park trying to you know on their stravas sorry my smartwatch just telling me

to take a break and get active I'm a podcaster I'm a podcaster mate I am active it's a Garmin Laura Kirk

recommended it to me lovely is that turnable no go for it flick it what games has it got it's got no games it might have a game actually I haven't checked it's a snake Is that a turnable? No. Go for it. Flick it out like that.

What games has it got? It's got no games. It might have a game, actually. I haven't checked. But my pulse rate is still very low for this high-pressure environment. So I'm pleased. Speaking of that, have you heard possibly apocryphal,

but the story of when Apollo 11 was on the launch pad? I think it was Apollo 11. It could have been a different one. I want to say it was Apollo 11 and Buzz Aldrin. They're about to take off to become the first people on the moon. Yeah.

Right? And they're on the launch pad. The world's watching them. And apparently Buzz Aldrin's pulse was the same as Nore. It's just... I think they were tapping it going, is this broken?

He's still running like a 55%... 55 beats a minute pulse. He's probably saying when he punched that block. Oh, that's pretty. Listen, it's the best story ever. It's the best. Did Buzz Aldrin die recently? No, he's still alive.

He's still with us at time of recording. Pulse rate, exactly the same. Yeah, I think Michael Collins died fairly recently and Neil Armstrong died before him. But Buzz Aldrin's still knocking about. Lovely.

Still doing his thing. Still running his Get Your Ass to Mars campaign. Which I love. Anyway, let's do an email or two alright then oh well I should probably get in touch

I should probably speak about the people who've got in touch read their battery brands Noah Roth has put forward a Viridian Tactical Energy battery

Viridian Tactical Energy sounds like the sort of quest you would do on Mass Effect or Star Wars or something Star Trek I was going to say

it sounded a bit like an erection aid. Do it again? Viridian tactical energy. Viridian tactical energy, maybe, yeah. I saw a meme going around, or maybe just some kind of nonsense about some anti-vaxxers put it around, where there's been a study suggesting

that if you inject it into the penis, it goes around the body quicker. I don't know why someone's made it I presume to kind of scare people into not having

the vaccine or not signing up for the vaccine because they're going to put it in your pee pee it just people are making

it up they're just making things up anyway that is a new player isn't it I think it is yeah

Viridian Tactical Energy sounds amazing new player congratulations to you Noah Alex

at Indias Maximus which which is a good Twitter name, has submitted Sexy Battery, Lithium LR41. Sexy Battery is definitely a new one. Yes. Beautiful. I don't know. I can't really work out the context of that, but it's definitely on there.

Extra Endurance Alkaline Sexy Battery. Why does it say Strong Flavour on there? I don't know. I don't know. It's like it reminds me of when you made me taste that switch game oh yeah sexy hang on sexy oh god you're right i had a banana oh yes okay right fine oh so it's sexy battery specifically um designed for um marlades oh okay right so, right. So, yeah. It's a special type of battery though,

surely they're universal. Well, I think some batteries are more useful for things that drive motors rather than things that would drive a Game Boy,

for example. Because they're different kinds of power. I had a hell of a time finding the battery for my car key. Oh, right, okay, yeah. That was absolute murder.

Anyway, so yeah, that's also a new player entering the game, so congratulations to you as well, Alex. I would like to read this email, Peter, from an entrepreneurial kid. His name is Mike. He's now an adult, obviously. And he says, hello, gents, and a happy new year.

On the subject of the kid who had his DJ equipment confiscated for having a toilet rave, it reminded me of my entrepreneurial pirating scheme from late 90s slash early 2000s. Donaldson, this is right up your street. Every week, he says, I would rent the latest PlayStation game from Blockbuster. Or as Peter might know, in the Northeast, it was called Ritz.

Ritz, I forgot Ritz. Was it called Ritz? Yeah, I don't think it was actually called Ritz, but I think it was a competing company maybe. Yeah, Ritz was Ritz? I forgot Ritz. Was it called Ritz? Yeah, I don't think it was actually called Ritz but I think it was a competing company maybe. Yeah, Ritz was a cinema where I'm from. Anyway,

I'd immediately make a master copy of the game and return it to the rental shop. How do you do that? What do you mean? As in? He said I would rent a game from Blockbuster,

latest game, PlayStation game, and make a master copy before returning it to the rental shop. I mean, it wouldn't be a master copy, would it? No.

You'd be, well, I mean, you'd copy it on a CD. Would you not get degradation of quality, though? Nah, one to one, mate. That's why CDs were so good, because it's either a one or a zero, you know. Oh, it's digital. And so, digital. He said, I would then subsequently create mass copies of said game with the cover artwork and using an

actual CD printer machine to sell at school. I used to make a small fortune for a 14 slash 15 year old most weeks. And I must say they looked incredible for a teenage bedroom job. How do you even do that? What hardware do you need?

Well, actually with a PC you just need a CD writer. So, you know, a 40 quid CD writer. Two speed. Keep the errors down. But I'm stunned that the companies making these games wouldn't see that. Well, you would have to have a chipped PlayStation or a slide tool or something, depending on what era of... There's always ways of getting around copyright.

Okay. Yeah. That's now. Anyway, Mike gone to say, one day we were having bag inspections at PE as one of the kids got caught smoking and I was absolutely shitting my pants because I had six copies

of Crash Bandicoot and eight copies of Eminem's latest album to sell in the afternoon. Luckily, the bag inspection never reached as far as me and I lived to pirate

another day. I did, however, get banned from a very early day's eBay for selling bootleg Oasis live recordings for up to £20 a CD. Keep up the good work, Mike.

Mike doesn't actually say what he's doing now for a job. He sounds like he should be on Dragons Den. He's the head of the Silk Road underground for a market. He says, Mike, inventor of the dark web. I've just popped power at sexybattery.com into the hello at lukepeachaw.com email machine.

And basically, if you want to become a sexy battery distributor, they've got an email address there. So I'm going to write a little email. Yeah. I'm literally going to write subject sexy batteries and then the actual body of the email. Seriously, guys, what the heck is this all about? See what they say.

All about. Do you reckon they get a lot of inquiries? Probably not. Mike, listen, thanks for your email. Email us again, let us know what you're doing now. I'll be really disappointed if it's something boring. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So, fingers crossed he comes back to us and lets us know. We had loads of emails this week. We've probably run out of time now, though, so we'll do a few more on Monday's show, I'm sure. Back on Monday the 11th for more of this nonsense shout out to you all for listening

thanks for sticking with us through 2020 we hope you do the same throughout 2021 which we also hope will be a far better year for all of us Pete Donaldson

thank you very much as ever say goodbye say it well it's goodbye from me as well see you Monday. This was a Stakhanov production and part of the ACAST Creative Network.