The Luke and Pete Show - A Series of Unfortunate Pets

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

The boys are back with more nonsense chat in one firequacker of a show! On today’s episode, Pete has difficulties with his new moped and future dreams of the Isle of Man TT, while Luke talks celebrity steeplejacks and what it takes to do such an important job. Elsewhere, Luke teaches us how to fix a sick cat while Pete confesses to sharing his dog’s medication. And if you think that’s mad, wait until you hear what Pope Alexander VI got up to with his horses!This week we want to hear all of your weirdest animal stories! Email in to [e-mail]! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show It's Thursday I'm Pete Donaldson I'm joined by Luke Moore Luke Moore is drinking from his Nalgene bottle It's available Nalgene if you want to get in touch

You've only got 600ml left in your bottle I rarely fill it right to the top of the 1000ml aka a litre because it's too bulky to carry around Too bulky to carry around

even though how can it be too bulky it's just got the same amount of water in it No but I'm just as I mean it's too heavy Too heavy I don't want to fill it right out of though, how can it be too bulky? It's just got the same amount of water in it. No, but I'm just, as I mean it, it's too heavy. Too heavy, right.

Yeah, I don't want to feel it right out of the top. I can't be bothered. Can't be bothered. Leave me out. Yeah. I would like to wish you, Peter, a very, very happy Thursday.

It's nice to see you again. Any progress, as we heard on Monday, any progress on the moped? No, we still can't figure out how to assemble the battery properly. You just flip it, will you? Sell it on for a prof.

Can you sell it as a prof? I don't know. As once owned by Manx TT racer Pete Donaldson. Yeah. I'd love to see you doing the Isle of Man TT. Some of the crashes you see on the Isle of Man TT are absolutely insane. I don't know how anyone's still alive doing that. I started looking at it because a lot of my YouTube searches

are trying to find which obscure Chinese motorcycle I'd bought and how to, first of all, just get the seat open. I couldn't get the seat open, Luke. That was the first problem. Yeah, so I was Googling that. And so a lot of my YouTube searches are now quite charismatic motorcycle experts

who are reviewing the latest crash helmets. What's his name? Guy. Remember that guy? Guy, what's his name, Guy. Remember that guy? Guy? There's a guy called Guy. I can't remember

his surname now. He's a professional northerner, but he loves motorbikes. Right, okay. I see. What's his name?

Guy Martin. Guy Martin. Oh, he, I think D-Max do a few of his shows. He's got a really broad northern accent

where you think, you're putting it on there, mate, because he's one of these people who probably thinks that London's full of like, you know, twats. Which to be fair, it is.

I've seen Guy Martin doing like he was in Japan and he was learning because he likes engineering stuff. Yeah, he does. He's in Japan and watching these master craftsmen like turn a very,

very specific live. A very specific live. He's gone all the way to Japan to see it. Yeah, just to have a look. And he's gone, can I have a go? And they go, hi.

It's taken 50 years to master this. Is he rubbish at it? He goes, no, he does quite a good job. He's the kind of guy, Guy Martin, who I will admit is kind of intimidating

to people like you and I because he's so good at stuff. With his hands, yeah. If he walks into the garage, he'd just been to make anything out of anything. He's like MacGyver, basically. Did he come to power

thanks to a Fred Dibner power vacuum? It was a coup, yeah. It was a bloody coup. There's not enough famous steeplejacks on the television anymore. Has Guy Martin done steeplejacking? No, but he's that kind of fella, isn't he? Tell people what steeplejacking is.

I don't know. Is it building steepleslejacking is I don't know is it building steeples is it building steeples fucking about fixing them and that isn't it

it's repairing chimneys yeah yeah climbing them and fixing them and knocking them over when they're done

so Fred Dibno used to go up on a ladder and go right up the top of a massive chimney with no ropes and that sort of

thing was impressive back in the day wasn't it like kind of like a man who could climb obviously it's impressive

but I'm just saying that like... Why are you doing it though? Why are you doing it? That's the thing. See, I like the fact that, you know, for example, Coopers. A Cooper is someone who makes a barrel. And I believe I'm right in saying that it's a dying art. I think there might only be a handful of them left in the UK.

How are we going to make the... We had a bloke help us make some Jamesons, or Jameson whiskey cocktails recently. And he was talking about this new kind of Jameson that is kind of like matured in this orky burned barrel. Yeah, he was. And they're burning them and we need them. Don't burn them. I think it might be, I might be wrong here,

but I think it might be made in a certain way. So maybe they're made by machines now, or maybe they're made of different material, whatever. And so there was a guy, I think, down in Wiltshire. I saw something on The One Show about it, obviously, because that's the kind of thing The One Show would do. And he was saying, look, I had, for the first year this year, I had no apprentices.

Like, no one came to sign up for the apprentices. So as Danny Kelly, the great broadcaster, would say, this knowledge dies with me you know there's no one out there to take on the mantle i just think that is it the same as steeplejacks is what i'm saying i just think that making barrels is just a quite a dull job and it's the sort of job that it just seems it's akin to just putting on a belt every day over a big fat gut that's all it is isn't it no i think there's more to it than that mate you've got bits of wood and you've just got to put a big fat metal belt on's all it is, isn't it? No, I think there's more to it than that, mate. You've got bits of wood and you've just got to put

a big fat metal belt on it. And it's just like, I do that every day anyway. Fred Dibner is apparently the world's most, or Britain's most famous steeplejack. But it's not a busy list. It's like the Hartlepool canoe man.

He's the world's most famous canoeist and he's not very good at canoeing. It doesn't take much. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, that is a shame to people who are good at canoeing. It doesn't take much, that's all I'm saying. Yeah, that is a shame to people who are good at canoeing. Yeah,

no, it is, massively. So, I've just typed in steeplejack jobs into Google and there are people

advertising for them. Well, if you've got steeples, you need the peoples. Yeah, look at that, I've opened it up and there's all the people.

There's all the people. So, look, I think you would be a much better steeplejack than me because you're smaller. You've got more of a monkey-limbed feeling about you. You could probably do pull-ups.

Can you do pull-ups? I could when I wasn't... I could when I went to the gym and wasn't a stone overweight, yeah. Okay. Just answer the question. Can you do a yes or no? No, not in this particular...

I can't do any of that. I can't do one. I can't do one press up either I don't think yeah you can there's a feature it doesn't happen anymore mate it's just not happening

for me anymore I've got to tell you that on Saturday yes woke up went into the back room into the kitchen made myself a cup of tea

so I like to start the day yeah cat was sick oh being sick blood as well oh no is that generally sick can you call that sick

yeah what happened to cut a long story short Hercules the cat is fine the ginger and white one of my cats he turns out he'd eaten something

in the night outside idiot probably just ate a mouse or something and it disagreed with him and he sicked it up

and I think it cut him a little bit so he's bleeding. Right, okay. But we got him sorted away. We got him squared away. He's fine.

It took 15 minutes. 102 quid. There it is. What have you been getting? What have you been getting? Some antacids? No, so what happened was I think it was aggravating.

He had vomited up the problem but his stomach had been aggravated. Right, okay. And the fact that he was being sick over and over again meant it was bad so we got him an injection

to stop him being sick got an injection of antibiotics in case he was infected and gave him a little put a little bandage around his head no we didn't really

we should have done and got him home kept him in for a couple of hours and when he started going mental to go out we knew he was feeling better let him out

and he's fine now I've my partner's dog is kind of old it's not your dog is it you've just got access to it well that's for me I don't like to

you know claim ownership it's a dog lives in a house I have access to just makes it sound weird just says it's your dog alright it's my dog right

yeah he has he's got every morning almost he vomits oh that's sad he's got, every morning almost he vomits. Oh, that's sad. He's just getting on and, you know, food just occasionally How old is he?

He's 13. Okay. And he's started being given this medicine called Malox, which is an antacid. I know you're going with this. I'm just saying. You've had all sorts of problems. Well, I'm just saying, so now I've ordered a load of this stuff

because I can have it and I have had it and he can have it you're not supposed to have it we can both have it how do you know that it's advertised to people

it's a people medicine that you give to a dog because we've all got stomach it's all it's a very simple process acid appears you've got to calm it down with magnesium

on behalf of the listeners as well there's mistakes have been made in the past and I think people are worried about you, mate. That's all it is. But I'm just saying, glob for me,

glob for him. We're sorted. Bonding. Bond, look, he's got me. Does he know that you're doing it as well? Does he know you're doing it as well? I think so, yeah. He looks at me and goes,

you're pathetic, Donald. This is dog medicine, you idiot. I'm old, what's your excuse? So does he still go for walks and everything? Yeah, yeah, he's loving it. Yeah, he still loves all that shit. My friend Tommy's just signed up at Batsy Dogs Home.

Fancies a dog. Yeah. Decent. Well worth it. Well, it's happened a lot. You know, Laura Kirk from X Revisiting has, she's got a dog now, Ruby. Little puppy. Beautiful little dog. Laura Woods, she's got a new puppy. We know about Jules' puppy, Pablo. As long as you've got

this routine that dictates you can look after the thing. They take over your life, mate. Yeah, because obviously puppies are being bought at a ridiculous rate. And, you know, I don't think puppy farming is legal anymore, but certainly people who breed them are in a situation where they just, you know, they can't find the stock to supply the people with.

But once we get out of this situation in COVID, I just hope that there isn't a load of dogs going to Batley Sea Dogs home because they don't have time to... Well, that's the problem. Mimi and I will move... When Mimi and I move out of London, we'll get a dog, I'm sure.

At the moment, the two cats suits us because we needed them as mouses anyway. But I don't give a shit about you, mate. No. When a cat gives you a bit of affection, it genuinely looks like it wants to be there. It's an amazing, but I don't give a shit about you, mate. No. When a cat gives you a bit of affection, it genuinely looks like it wants to be there. It's an amazing thing, which I don't normally bother.

Dogs are much more of a sellout, aren't they? Yeah, massively. They love you. Yeah. Unconditionally. Yeah. All they need is a tennis ball, and that's all you get.

It's fine. And the one thing that's interesting about dogs as well, every single dog I've ever known, it eats its food, its dinner, inside five seconds yeah yeah absolutely gone like no messing about yeah they do i think it's probably a pack mentality because if they leave it alone it's gone because either dog's gonna eat it they eat so fast as we heard when we heard your dog eating a carrot was that the old dog or the younger dog that was the

younger dog but i did i did get the older dog to eat a prawn cracker that's probably why he's got a bad stomach i did get him to eat a prawn cracker. That's probably why he's got a bad stomach. I did get him to eat a prawn cracker. Does your partner know about this? Yeah, no. She feeds him prawn crackers every now and again as well because the dogs love them

and it is a hilarious noise when they're That's probably why he's got it again. That's probably why the acid is attacking his stomach. They'll eat anything. They will eat anything.

You shouldn't. I don't think you should be feeding them prawn crackers. It's not like loads of prawn crackers. How many a week? They'll have one prawn cracker a day. don't think you should be feeding them prawn crackers. It's not like loads of prawn crackers. How many a week? They'll have one prawn cracker on the rare occasion a Chinese appears in the house. Well, which isn't rare.

One prawn cracker. That is not rare. Yeah, and they'll have a, yeah, a compote chicken and yeah, just a packet of prawn crackers for the dog. Brilliant. They love it. So how's your week been, Pete, generally speaking?

Been good? Yeah, it's been alright. I just found out about ten minutes before we started recording that the Pope, the Pope Alexander VI enjoyed watching

Horse's Fuck. That's not the Pope's name, is it? What, the old Pope? The old Pope. Oh, one of the old ones. Yeah, one of the old ones. Not the new one.

He didn't like it. I think that would be a hell of a thing to admit like next I mean there's there's been Hitler Youth there's been in Hitler Youth

which isn't your decision obviously and then there's like watching horse as fuck he wants to be careful because if he's not careful that whole

that whole place is going to have its reputation ruined yeah 1492 to 1492 to 1492 to 1403 yeah

the Pope and his daughter Lucretia entertained themselves by watching a papal stallion's mate with a farmer's mare yeah and hooted

and hollered they liked the orgy that Pope and in certain circumstances animals having sex is funny

isn't it it is monkey fucking a turtle remember that one no I don't like that no it's not consensual In certain circumstances, animals having sex is funny, isn't it? It is. Monkey fucking a turtle? Remember that one? No, I don't like that. No. No, it's not consensual.

Yeah, but it's animals, isn't it? They get up to all sorts. They do. That's what I'm saying. So in the right circumstances, it can be funny. So is he getting a bit of a bad rap here? I don't know, to be honest. Well, no, but he also enjoyed

50 honest prostitutes who danced after the dinner with those present at first in their garments and then naked. The candelabra were taken down from the tables and placed on the floor and chestnuts were stewed around, which the naked prostitutes picked up, creeping on hands and knees, pretending to be a horse. I just think he liked horses.

What's your source? Alphahistory.com Yeah. Yeah. Not sure about that really I mean it's kind of I mean

who's your favourite pope the horse fucker probably John Paul II goalkeeper yeah Polish no but I think

I wouldn't have a favourite pope because I think that it's horrific what do you mean being a pope the very idea of having some kind of divine

revelation on earth is ridiculous. I think it's much more harmful than it would be helpful. Because even if it is helpful to people, it's a load of old shit. So I don't have a favourite Pope, is my answer. The thing is, the most recent Pope is getting a load of press for saying stuff and getting a load of positive press. I mean, which is good, I suppose.

Any kind of progress is good. But the bar has been set so low that him just saying something like, well, you know what, actually, you know, homosexual relationships aren't the end of the world.

And everyone's going, fucking hell! Amazing revelation from the Pope. It's not really, is it? Because I could have told you that when I was 10. It's like Joe Biden,

obviously, coming to the presidency. Why don't people call him Baidor? He could get away with Baidor. Baidor Kharassian. He's got a great name for nicknames and no one uses them. Carry on what you were going to say, sorry. I just think that the Boris has been set.

He's quite a doddery, kind of gaffe-prone president. I think he'll get more of a pass and he needs more of a pass in his later years where he has become a bit more doddery

a bit more confused and a bit less well thought out when it comes to how he speaks imagine what we'll be like a bit rich from my end good lads

I texted Vish to sort of say how's he getting on because obviously he's been in lockdown at the moment and he replied saying yeah yeah, everything's fine. I liked something you said on the ramble.

And I said, mate, every time one of those clips from the football ramble gets posted on Twitter, I just kind of bristle because I'm like, oh. The way I approach a sentence is like I start in the middle of the sentence and try and swear my way out of it. It's just, it's astonishing

the way I approach talking. And that is all I do. You ain't got to tell me, mate. I don't know why people listen. I don't know why people choose to listen. Thank you for listening.

Send us a review. Put us a review down. It's a bit out of the ordinary, mate. It is, yeah. It's a jazz talk. Everyone. Jazz talk with Pete. You don't want a brushed

aluminium cyber prick presenting every single show. Yeah. Do you? Yeah. But one thing you should say, one thing that should be said about Biden

that's not said enough, actually, I don't even know if you know, but hopefully you do, is a lot of the stuff that he gets criticised for is he's got actually quite a severe stammer. Yes, yeah, yeah.

He's had a debilitating stammer his whole life. So when it, obviously some of the stuff he just says because perhaps he's, you know, older and a yes he's had a debilitating stammer his whole life so when it obviously some of the stuff he just says because perhaps he's you know older and a little bit out of touch on certain issues

which can happen I think some of it has to do with his stammer secondly he's only the second ever Catholic president yes you know who the first one was

I think it was I don't know give you a clue got a bullet in his head ah Redskins machine yeah it was Zach Delaroche

JFK JFK was in there oh I see and there was a controversial appointment as well well not appointment but because he was

very heavily criticised for being Catholic at the time well I think that Biden shares a little bit with JFK in that he's an ex-handsome man

and the confidence his hair went early Biden but he stuck with it he stuck with it yeah he still got it I'm there it went early but by then but he stuck with it. He stuck with it. Yeah he's still got it. I'm there. It went early but he

just kind of kept with it really. But I think Biden has that kind of, he was obviously an attractive man in his youth and he's got that kind of good looking kind of

air about him that means that he's very at ease with people because all our eyes are on him because he's very handsome or was very handsome. How much of a bonus

is it for him just to not be Donald Trump? Exactly. A chicken would be able to Why have you chosen a chicken then? Because they are quite fragile.

After what we've talked about you should have chosen a horse. I should have chosen a duck. Do you see this? But Pete, a chicken would never even make the election cycle. It wouldn't make the campaign.

Oh yeah, I guess not. It'd die, wouldn't it? And it would be a rich pardoning the turkeys, wouldn't it? It would have the same impact. It wouldn't make the campaign. Oh yeah, I guess not. It'd die, wouldn't it? And it'd be a rich pardon in the turkeys, wouldn't it? It wouldn't have the same impact. What about a duck? Oh, just there was a,

somebody retweeted an old story from back in the day from a US newspaper. That's the spirit. Is it Des Moines? Des Moines. Des Moines.

Idaho? Yeah. A strange accident recorded in a local, in local history occurred this morning when Radamanthus, Radamanthus is a duck, which took a prize at the recent Iowa poultry show.

Oh, Iowa. I thought it was Idaho for some reason. Exploded into several hundred pieces, one of which struck Silas Perkins in the eye, destroying the sight. The cause of the explosion was the eating of yeast, which was placed in a pan upon the back porch and tempted his duck ship,

which was taking a Sunday morning stroll. Wow. I like that. I like the way that local newspapers talk. It's pretty talk. Upon returning from church, Mr. Perkins discovered his prized duck in somewhat kind of weird condition.

Telltale marks around the pan of yeast gave him his clue. He was about to pick up the bird when the bird quacked and exploded with a loud report, and Mr Perkins ran into the house holding both hands over one eye. A surgeon was called, who found that the eyeball had been penetrated by a fragment of flying duck

and gave no hope of saving the optic. Wow. It's an exploding duck. Imagine losing your eye to a duck. Yes, not expected. It reminds me of a flying duck and gave no hope of saving the optic. Wow. It's an exploding duck. Imagine losing your eye to a duck. Yes, not expected. It reminds me of a story which is frankly horrific, but I'm going to share with you anyway,

is that someone that I tangentially know, his father, was getting pissed on bonfire night and put a load of bangers in a bird box right in the garden yeah

which exploded and blinded blinded his sister-in-law oh that is difficult isn't it not great hard to walk back

from that one isn't it yeah yeah so it can happen be careful with all exploding things yeah just just be careful

do you remember do you remember the warnings you used to get about fireworks when you were a kid? It was everywhere. What do you mean?

As in like, don't... Oh, the amount of public safety messaging about fireworks was mad, wasn't it? Yeah, it rings a bell, yeah. Everywhere. Don't ever go back to a firework once you've lit it.

Yes, we don't talk... Maybe we just don't talk about them anymore. Maybe we've just sort of solved that part. We know not to do that. But if you'd said to me when I was 10,

what are the three or four worst, most dangerous things to your life fireworks yeah it would be not attaching a catherine wheel to a fence properly

yeah going back to a fire once I've lit it nuclear war quicksand quicksand yeah which is never around now and

probably um I don't know the child catcher in chitty chitty bang bang maybe yeah do you know what I mean

so like things it's funny how like public safety and messaging really cuts through, right? Littering as well. We were told to litter a lot more. Sorry, we were told to litter a lot less back in the day. Yes, told not to litter. But you sold it. I remember when, in the 80s, the whole of the street was just awash with filth constantly.

Yeah, some parts of the UK it still is I'm not going to say which because I don't want to offend anyone but were you a litterer back in the day no not really not really no

did you ever sort of deposit a kind of a grumble mag in a bush no but valuable who was doing that valuable valuable grumble mag who was doing that

well I don't know people who'd got too much pornography in their lives I don't know or you'd buy it and then after you'd finished you'd feel disgusted with yourself

and you'd pop it in the tree. They're quite expensive though, weren't they? I suppose the kids are a bit expensive, isn't it? I remember my dad used to give me £10 to buy him some pornography.

No, no, no. The first day of every month because he was trying to teach me the value of money. So he would say your pocket money can be like £2.50 a week, which is pretty good back in the day.

It is a tenner. But it's a tenner for the whole month. Right. This month has five Fridays in it. I wasn't that clever. You're shit. He's seen you off, though. I was literally just like, fucking hell.

He's given you 48 payments there. But I genuinely remember feeling pressure for having a £10 note in my pocket. Do you know what I mean it was like that and I'd obviously spend it all the first weekend just show off to my mate and my best friend Jimmy

he if I went around to call around his house and said oh you want to go out or whatever he'd be like yeah so let's go to the shop

as well and get like sweets and stuff and he'd go okay and he would sit there and think about the sweets he was going to buy and he would take exactly

that amount of money out with him nice I like that a lot spend it and nothing more what if they didn't have the horrible white chocolate blind mice

didn't happen in the 80s mate everything was in stock all the time golf balls yeah we got loads of them we got so many bags of them do you remember those giant gobstoppers

yeah unlovable they came in quite late in my sweet eating life and I just how was that ever edible yeah it was impressive

size wise but I like to crunch my gobstoppers my parents gave me one of those when we went on holiday on a long plane flight

and you're just licking it like a horse in a block of sand and I know they're doing their best and I love them dearly and stuff that can't be good for a kid no it's really not.

It's not, is it? If I saw one of them now and my niece wanted one of those, I'd say, well, you're not having one of those. You have something else. Have a toffee apple. At least there's an apple inside. Have a grape.

Anyway, let's go for a break and come back and do some emails because we've got a couple of good ones and I want to get through them. All right, then. Wrestle Me is a show where two men watch every WrestleMania

from 1 to 37 unpicking the multicoloured threads that tie it all together. I think it's slightly something to do with the fact that Americans don't really like

cell phones do they? Right. I think they've all got basic ones. Basically. That's a big shout. It is a big shout but I mean there is

something funny about like text messaging never took off in the States. What? Come on now. Never been big. Whether you're a lapsed fan or someone who doesn't give a flying laureate about it, there's something for everyone.

If you can get a crowd to boo you for kicking a fabulous ladder. A fabulous ladder. And the crowd are booing. Yeah. Get off that lovely ladder we've just learned about. It's a beautiful polysexual ladder. It's a beautiful little bit of shabby chic creation. If you climb up to it,

ecstasy can be found at the top. Listen via Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your pods. Wrestle Me is a Stakhanov production. We're back. It's the Luke and Pete show. If you'd like to get in touch with the show,

as always, it's very simple. Hello, lukenpeetshow.com. Maybe you were damaged by an animal at some point in your life. Maybe your step-grandad did something dreadful to you. Let us know. Allegedly snapped your femur. Yeah.

Peter, were you ever injured by an animal as a young person? No, bitten by a horse a couple of times, but we've got into that before. My friend Jimmy was bitten by a horse as well. Yeah. The guy I just spoke about. I think that I was bitten by a dog

as a kid as a result and now I'm 40 my parents still joke that I'm scared of dogs which is mad I mean you were somebody bit you

a dog bit you so you should be scared well to make it absolutely clear I was about 6 and I was bitten by a dog which is very much their fault

and now they use it at the age of 40 to take the piss out of me scared of dogs it's crazy it's crazy. It's crazy.

I also was stung by a wasp on my finger, stung by a bee as well. Nothing really... In the UK, you're not going to get any encounters with interesting animals, are you? No, no. Murder hornets for you, sunshine. No, exactly.

Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com is the email address. Get in touch with us. Drop us a line. Let us know you're getting on. Let's stick together during these lockdown times. If there's anything you want to talk about, let us know. I'm ready for some lockdown times.

Have a listen to the Luke and Pete. And let's reconvene on Monday with the meat. Nice. Nice. Is that M-E-E-T or M-E-A-T? M-E-E-T. Yeah, okay. Bring meat if you want, mate. It's up to you. Now you've changed your mind. I'm a Brammy wide boy. Nice. Is that M-E-E-T or M-E-A-T? M-E-E-T. Yeah, okay. Bring me if you want, mate.

It's up to you. Yeah, well, now you've changed your mind. That Brammy White boy. Yeah. Ed has been in touch. Hello, Edward. I don't know if he is Edmund.

He might be Edmund. He might be Edmund. Oh. Edvard. Edvard. It could be Eduardo. Yeah, it could be. He goes with Ed,

which means he's posh, in my opinion. It could be Ed 209, the killer robot from Robocop. Ed 209. You have five seconds to complain. That was terrifying when you were a kid. I don 209 the killer robot from Robocop Ed 209 you have 5 seconds to complain that was terrifying

when you were a kid I don't think I've ever seen Robocop oh mate it's great I've played Robocop 3 on the Amiga no that's time

forget that Verhoeven's Robocop is amazing Verhoeven and there's a bit so there's a scene of Ed 209 where he's being

exhibited I mean bear in mind I haven't seen this it's not the 89's but's a scene with Ed 209 where he's being exhibited. I mean, bear in mind, I haven't seen this, it's not the 89s, but I'm fairly certain Ed 209's been exhibited to a panel of, you know,

those 80s executives with their big suits on saying this is going to be like revolutionised law enforcement and what you can do. And essentially, it's quite prescient because it's essentially

like a drone. Yeah. Which we know how interesting. A police officer. It's just this massive thing on two legs with these big machine guns

yeah and the guy's given the display demonstration and he says look you can just tell it to shoot someone dead right I remember as a kid

thinking fucking hell that's amazing but also terrifying and he says gives it an instruction and the and the ED-209 goes to this random

businessman and goes you have five seconds put down your weapon you have ten seconds to comply and he's like oh yeah I've not got a weapon and then he just goes you have five seconds to comply

and the guy's going stop, stop, stop and he just goes just kills him terrifying shouldn't have been able to do that great 80s stuff what was the fallout?

what do you mean? was HR involved? people just start going fucking mad don't they? I can't remember. It's been like 30 years since I've seen it. But anyway, it was terrifying when you were a kid. Ed, I think by the fact that he uses the name Ed,

he's posh. He's not a kid. Right, okay, yeah. He's posh. He's not an unmanned drone police officer. Yeah. Hey guys, recently you postulated on the existence of anachronistic objects revealed by snow melt.

Do you remember that, Pete? Um... Last week, the permafrost is melting. People are finding shit. Yeah. And I said, wouldn't it be good if we found stuff that we never knew existed or perhaps alien stuff? All that kind of stuff.

He says, I've fallen down this internet black hole a few times. There are a few records of what they call out-of-place artifacts. Right. So things that you wouldn't expect to see in certain places. One example would be the Maine penny, which some people argue is a 11th century Norwegian coin found in a Native American shell in Maine,

which would be evidence of direct contact between Vikings and Native Americans, which I didn't think existed. And the Vikings got all over the place. But I think it probably could have been taken by someone else and handed it somewhere. But I don't know. It's kind of not something you'd expect to see.

The Shroud of Turin would be another one. Yes. Famous one. Yeah. Been dated between 1260 and 1390. People get on their high horse about that. It's still quite old, though, isn't it? Yeah, very old.

Still an old shroud, isn't it? Still probably 1,200 years too late to be Jesus, though. And that is key. It's quite a long time. a high horse about that it's still quite old though isn't it yeah very old still an old shroud isn't it still probably 1200 years too late to be Jesus though and that is key it's quite a long time because what happens is because it's Jesus there'd be a lot of books

written about that wouldn't there what do you mean as in like oh it's definitely Jesus there's a grift available here remember Hitler's Diaries

yeah I've read a book about that have you read that by Robert Harris Selling Hitler Mental no why is Robert Harris getting involved did he write read it? By Robert Harris, Selling Hitler, Mental. No. Why is Robert Harris getting involved?

Did he write the... He does fiction and non-fiction. Oh. Selling Hitler, his book about Hitler's Diaries is mad. Didn't Robert Harris write If Hitler Still Existed? Don't know.

Don't know. Don't know. It's the only book of his I've read, but it is astonishing the amount of benefit of the doubt that is given repeatedly. Yeah, because you want something, yeah. What are very obvious forgeries.

But what happened was they invested so much money and so much time in it, they just couldn't go back on it. It's like the Newcastle takeover. It is. It's like whenever there's a new kind of like just bloat with a PO box

in Paris, it says, yeah, I want to take over Newcastle United. Like Newcastle United Twitter just goes wild. We were anarchists. Investigating. We could do that, couldn't we?

Yeah. Remember when I faked Gerard Julia's career? Gerard Julia's career. No one checked. No one checked. Got in a newspaper. Thank you very much.

They listed a load of stuff that Gerard Julia did that didn't do. Yeah. Yeah, mad. Anyway, the thing that Ed brings to our attention most notably

is this thing called the Antikythera Mechanism, which is an ancient Greek hand-powered analog computer used to predict eclipses, astronomical positions, all that kind of stuff. And I think it was also used to track the four-year cycle of the Olympiad. Yeah. Right. And it also created the first Toy Story.

Yeah. Pixar used it. No, it's not that advanced. It's probably slightly less advanced on the spectrum. It's dated from 150 BC, but I think, and I'm not an expert on this, and perhaps people can get in touch to hear some more about it. Of course, it was very damaged because it was recovered from a shipwreck. But I think it's something that...

It was discovered in the early 1900s, but I think it's something that's way, way more advanced at the time than people ever thought the ancient Greeks were, which is an amazing thing because if you think of the conditions that need to exist for that stuff to be discovered, it's kind of like the dinosaur thing.

The reason there's not more dinosaur fossils, because they're everywhere, is because they had to die in a very certain way for their bodies to be discovered it's kind of like the dinosaur thing and the reason there's not more dinosaur fossils because they're everywhere is because they had to die in a very certain way for their bodies to be preserved it's probably the same if you think about a quite a chaotic era lots of wars lots of shifting of peoples lots of stuff isn't going to be able to survive but this 37 gear mechanism which apparently is apparently amazingly accurate and really really clever was way ahead of the very first primitive computer that was invented hundreds of years later which apparently is amazingly accurate and really, really clever, was way ahead of the very first primitive computer that was invented hundreds of years later. I think the article that Ed very kindly shares says that the equivalent was only developed independently

in the 14th century. So it's about 1,400 years later. So it's amazingly out of time. Yeah. And it makes you wonder what other stuff would have happened. So this machine was found in the 1900s, but it dated from 150 BC. Right, okay. Was it proved to be in any way

accurate, this whole kind of dating? I think it was too damaged to be absolutely sure. But it's based on the theories of mathematics and astronomy that they did know. It's got a degree of sophistication that people thought was previously unknown.

Right. But the interesting thing about this whole out-of-place artefacts discussion is, and we've touched on this a bit before, is that in the Victorian age, people were just complete pranksters, right? Yeah. So they would continually do stuff.

Like, say, for example, and it would be pranksters, right? Yeah. So they would continually do stuff, like say for example, and it would be stuff like circus sideshows, oh, here's a half man, half horse, and they would just make it up. Here's an iPhone in Manchester. Yeah, that was another one. And it was an eye. But anyway, they had loads of different kind of fake ones, which has really blurred the

edges around whether out of place, after facts, are real or not, because a load of them look like they're Victorian hoaxes and for example people would be placing like modern era for then so like early late 19th century hammers in rock that are

thousands and thousands of years old and go how did that get there? A big late phone receiver Yeah basically and yeah exactly and then everyone on the internet, because the internet is mental, likes the conspiracy more than they like the boring truth, and they kind of just completely fucking gravitate towards the mad stuff.

So it's hard to tell, but that one seems like an interesting one. I like that immensely. If people want to get in touch with the show and talk about their out-of-time finds, let us know. I nearly read a text number out there

it doesn't really what was it what were you going to do 83936 yeah 83936 that's not even a fucking number no

well it's a short code isn't it I think it's they're normally five numbers 83936 that was yeah 83936 was like less than a number

anyway it doesn't matter we don't have a phone I mean you can text that if you want. It's probably still in operation. But don't... Probably cost you 50p. Give them a warning.

50p plus your standard network rate, whatever that might be. Do you even know what your standard network rate is? I don't know what mine is. No. 50p, it might be 50p itself. It might be 50p plus 50p. Awful.

O2s have sent me a text sometimes telling me I don't read them. I don't read any texts these days. I listen from my American family who are the only people who text me, I don't read them. I don't read any texts these days, unless they're from my American family, who are the only people who text me. I was trying to phone up for my mum to get a replacement for her SIM card and got through all the security numbers,

security questions and stuff, because obviously I'd set up the account and she hadn't. And he went, I'm really sorry, I need the actual account holder to be on the line to order another SIM card, even though it's just going to go to her address. Yeah. And I'm like, right, I've given you all the security questions.

I've given you all, I've got through security. You could be anyone. So could she. She'd do the same thing. So I said, so basically. At least she sounds like a Christine Donaldson. Exactly. So I basically said, so what you need to hear is a female voice.

And he went, yes. Huh. Yeah. And I nearly went hello this is Christine Donaldson yeah how's Lawrence Fox getting on is he doing alright

I don't know I'm not really by the way how are Mr and Mrs Donaldson are they okay fine yeah they're sort of worrying about Christmas

as I imagine a lot of people are has your mum started on her potatoes yet yeah she does start on her potatoes very very early my dad's restoring

benches I told you didn't I yeah back on the bench loving it back on the bench absolutely loving it love your job

right let's get out of here hello at lukepitcher.com if you want to get to the show we'll be back on Monday with more of this shite say goodbye Luke Moore

see you later bye this was a stakhanov production and part of the acast creative network