The Luke and Pete Show - A Shopping Trolley Bounty Hunter

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

On today’s show, Pete introduces us to some shocking takeaway revelations while finishing off his Chinese for breakfast, before the boys discuss the rather unappetising elements of the 1904 Olympics. That's not all - there are giant men on Luke's roof, Pete's been stripping in public over the weekend and a listener gets in touch with an incredibly chocolate-y email. Get stuck in!We want to hear from you! Drop us an email over at [e-mail] with some of your own weekly nonsense, or get involved on Twitter/Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow!Oh, and if you're enjoying the show, give us a review over on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Cheers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Moshi Moshi, Stakhanov calling. This is the Luke and Pete show. My name is Pete Donaldson and I'm joined by Luke Moore for another bit of Monday fun. Hello everyone. How's it going? I am the aforementioned Luke Moore. How are you doing, Peter? What's new? Good. I mean, you can only really be aforementioned, I suppose. Can you mention someone in the future? Don't think so. No, but I guess it's just a way of referencing, isn't it? Just referencing.

And it's also, it's a four-syllable word. I don't get through many of those. Might as well do one. Yeah, I'm doing all right. I started the day by eating Saturday's Chinese food. I saw that. That was very enjoyable. Someone shared a photo on a WhatsApp group that we share

about 9 a.m of you eating crimes cold takeaway food from a takeaway box and regular listeners to this show will know that you have regular and multifarious stomach problems will they link the two who knows another multi-syllable word from luke moore there yeah i mean it wasn't my uh chow mein it was my uh partner so she that doesn't make any difference to the point i'm making it does because there's no meat in it if it's hers oh but so rotten vegetables don't exist next i found out something amazing uh are you gonna be prepared to have your mind blown to fucking pieces mate are you gonna be picking up bits of, mate? Are you going to be picking up bits of shell

off the floor? Are you going to be picking up bits of brain matter off the walls when you hear what I'm about to drop? Go on. You know like that fried seaweed you get at the Chinese? Yeah. It's not seaweed, it's fucking cabbage, mate. I knew that. I knew that anyway. I knew that anyway. Well, why did they call it seaweed? How could they get away with that?

Nonsense. Absolute bollocks. Presumably presumably at one point start not actually but i mean the tradition it was seaweed at one point i'm not saying it's turned into cabbage but they used to serve seaweed at one point and now they've said look cabbage is a really cheap and easy substitute and now we'll know but is there an issue with descriptions trade descriptions here yeah i think it's like when you buy um well your your beef lasagna and also your um i just think it's not as part it's not a big part of people's diets uh to the point where it will be problematic no one's really that bothered about whether they're eating seaweed or

ground weed um but you'd think that sea would be would be the cheaper alternative because it's just it's just there isn't it nobody really farms it unless you're you know it's not the cheaper alternative because it's just there, isn't it? Nobody really farms it unless you're, you know. It's not the cheaper alternative. And once you immediately consider the practical implications of trying to get it, is it? It all washes up. Just go and pick it up, mate. But what if you're not near the sea, Peter?

It's all there for you, mate. Well, you haven't got seaweed in the canal in Birkenstead, have you? No. A lot of old BMXers, it seems. A lot of them, like, a lot of the people, I don't know whose job it is, they're probably the canal tour path people in the world. They spend a lot of time dredging and pulling out all bits of machinery, you know, shopping trolleys and the like.

But they just put them to the side of the beck. They don't move them anywhere. They just pull them out of the canal and leave them on the side as if to go well don't do that again so well you've made the side of the canal look worse i couldn't see the bmx when it was in the canal leave it in there i don't care what does the boats i thought you mean to an extent to an extent and that is the best compliment you've ever paid me quite frankly when i when i worked on the trolleys at Safeway back in the late 90s, and this is how mental now, that sometimes they used to say,

oh, by the way, there's been like two Safeway trolleys spotted in the council estate or the estate over there or the road down there, whatever. Can you just go and get them and bring them back? And I remember even at times thinking, how is this my job? How is that a thing yeah you know you're not luke the bounty hunter for my precinct ends as soon as i step off the car park as soon

as i step onto the paper outside the car park that's not my purview and i don't think i should be some kind of like trolley detective because the other thing about it is I'm walking around the town with a couple of trolleys. It looks like it's me nicking them. Exactly. You're going to get a bad reputation. Just imagine you sort of head to the ground, sort of sniffing the soil going, I can smell vulcanized rubber. A trolley's been through this road.

Fantastic. Some of the supermarket car parks, not my one, I don't know if they still have this, some of them have a situation where if you take the trolley out of the car park perimeter, the wheels stop working. Yeah, and there's not a single time that I don't walk onto the precinct of a supermarket and see those little kind of like magnetic, I think they're magnetic, aren't they?

Yeah. Kind of walkways that prevent, that lock the wheels effectively and make me think, oh, I just want to see what happens. I don't know why I've never done it, because you just feel like you might get in trouble if you tested it out, like an alarm might go off or something. Do you know what it's like? It's like total recall. It beeps five times, it blows up.

Yeah, exactly. Explodes. Two weeks. How long are you going to take the shopper trolley away for two weeks and then it just explodes i am i should probably point out as well to everyone listening and this is not the sort of thing you want to hear at the start of a podcast that um we had something of an emergency at my house last week where uh it rained and the water started coming into the bathroom um cut a long story short it turns out i've had to have a reasonable chunk of my roof replaced uh and the roofers are still here because it's been quite a big job and so i can't do anything about the noise

that you may be hearing in the background but just to let you know there are two men right above me right now um replacing tiles on my roof i hear one of them's gigantic like the undertaker he is massive like i had um a tree taken down from the bottom of the opposite house's garden long story they wouldn't fucking pay for it it It affected my garden, so I had to swallow my pride and stump up, pun intended, to have it taken down. And all the tree surgers were tiny little children men. Obviously, they were men of working age, but they were tiny because they would jump around

all the different branches, like little, I don't know, whatever you like, Pete. Small monkeys. Little lemurs, yeah. And that kind of makes sense, right? Now, the two roofers who were doing my roof at the moment, one of them is a small fella. Up and down the ladder, he is like an absolute, again, monkey, lemur, whatever.

Yeah. And the other guy is massive. He's bigger than me. And I said to him, how can you be bothered? How can you be bothered to do it? He's not fat, he's like he's bigger than me and i just and i said to him how can you be bothered how can you be bothered to do it like he's not basically he's not fat fat he's just like he's just big and it's an effort right i mean it's a real effort i mean you gotta do i'm sorry i reckon they probably do 30 lather climbs a day probably and that's before they even do the work so like how are you being bothered to do that what do you think would you but you'd be great as a roofer because you're a little bit crazy

and you're tiny and uh i would i wouldn't pay you to do my roof but i like uh i like a bit of peace and quiet i like sort of going places where you know for a fact it's the it's the less beaten beaten path not in a like, you know, I'm going to go to some crazy kind of island somewhere and live as the natives do or something like that. No, I just want to go to an abandoned quarry and just hang out there for a bit, throw some rocks around and stuff. I just like the idea of something that you don't think about very often, your roof, and you're up there and it's a very lonely place. Windy, rainy.

Are they allowed to go up there when it's rainy? I presume they've probably got some pretty sticky or metallic shoes to allow them to maintain their position on top of a house. I don't know. I'm just trying to think. They can't stop working when it's raining, surely, roofers. Surely they've

got some safeguards to prevent them falling off a roof. I'm pleased you asked that question because as you can imagine, Pete, as you have long suspected and expressed as an opinion, I am probably the most tedious person to work for in terms of house stuff because I just endlessly ask questions. Yeah. And I've asked him about that and he said, for this type of roof you've got, the tile is very, the slate is very shiny so you can't do it in in the rain um but the newer types

of tiles depending on which ones you go for it's a little bit easier but realistically you're limited by the amount of work you can do in the rain yeah oh i see i mean and you must be pretty pleased or pretty annoyed if you work in England because obviously it rains all the time. Imagine being a roofer in Manchester. You'd never get anything done. You don't get them. No, don't get them.

Without roofer, there's no point. Don't have them. Yeah, interesting. One of the things that is quite good is that, as the roofer pointed out, is that one of the things he really likes about the job is obviously most jobs don't last for that long, so you're always doing different bits all over the place

and you're up on people's roofs quite literally and he said like it's really peaceful compared to the rest of london most of the time and also you get great views and when the sun's shining he said it's great i love being up here it's brilliant um yeah i bet which i said can i get down now please stop grabbing my arm it hurts yeah yeah yeah so it's been it's been a bit of a stressful time because obviously you can't really muck around when it comes to the roof it's not it's not like oh do you know what we quite need a new bathroom but hopefully we'll get around to it at some point you need a roof i mean there's not you can't have a conversation about whether you need a new roof or not because it'll become very quick that you'll you'll know that you need one

straight away so it's been a bit of a shame and it's been happening all weekend and it's just difficult to relax when you know you've got that literally kind of overbearing how much how much of roof how much roof has been replaced a lot of it all of it some of it i'd say some of it yeah some of it right so for those who are well versed in this kind of thing and i'm not so i'm probably about to get this wrong, all round the chimney stack needs to be replaced and re-rendered. I think two new valleys and a load of new tiling, basically. So the valleys for the water to sort of slope off to.

It's quite fascinating the way it all works. Oh, I'm buying a house at the moment and trying my very best to, and my God, there's a lot of forms. My God, there's a lot of information that you need you need a roof yeah that was uh i said look roof number like roof number one look point number one we need a bloody roof yeah did you go in there like prepare a couple of questions that you knew you'd have to say to show that you know what you're talking about and one of them was it's gonna need a roof give him a week need a roof look this is a non-negotiable. This needs a roof. If this has not got doors, we can't get in and out.

Make sure it's got doors. Yeah, so there's all things like all the land registry searches and stuff. You've got to make sure that your house isn't in a subsidence area. Ours is because it's next to sea. Right. And radon. Apparently that's a big deal gotta worry about raid on what about it i think it's one of those gases isn't it it's one of those naughty gases that uh what's that doing around there i don't know i don't know well look

there's none around where we are uh so i said look roof good um subsidence might end up in the sea in a few months. Roof won't help you then. No, but we're not going to get radon poisoning. One of the most crazy things that I had to do when I bought my house was you had to pay for something called a chancel search where you had to check whether you would be liable for repairing the church three streets away or something.

Insane. Absolutely baffling. Most churches have been turned into spoons as well, so that would be liable for repairing the church like three streets away or something. Insane. Absolutely baffling. Most churches have been turned into spoons as well. So that would be annoying. You're paying all Brexit Billy's tax bill. I'll pay for the upkeep of this church by my alcohol consumption on a Friday and Saturday. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, mate, Saturday, I had a one-man drinking session. You cast United were on the telly. I thought, you know what, I had a one-man drinking session. You can actually run the telly. I thought, you know what, I can't get through this. We went terribly, didn't we? Yeah, 3-0 down. I had my jab. I had my jab on Thursday. How do you get that lock in your vein so quick? Oh, asthma.

Asthma, isn't it? Yeah. And the fact that I'm still registered in my old house in Soho, and I imagine Soho's a bit of a bit of a ghost town at the moment so no one's around to get their jabs

so they probably had a bit of a surplus bloody knew that asthma was coming at some point I know right I was like I was having a right

old win saying why haven't I had one because if I get Covid I'm going to be fucked but I had to go to Westminster Abbey for it

me and Stephen Fry in the Abbey getting are you getting the same day as Stephen Fry in the Abbey. Are you getting the same day as Stephen Fry? No, I think he did it ages ago, but it was funny because it was like, of course, Stephen Fry got his done at Westminster Abbey. That's so poetic, Pete.

And it's probably the only situation in which you're allowed in Westminster Abbey, is it? Well, it's certainly the only situation I'm allowed to forget that I'm having a jab and wear the most restrictive jumper possible, meaning that I had to kind of basically take my top off. Show off the gums. Oh, that old chestnut. Show my belly how my nip nips to the young nurse, bless her. Oh, dear.

Two seconds, mate, because in addition to the roofing, I think my cat wants to come in. It's a mad house here today. You carry on. I'll be back in a second. It's a cat upon, no, not cat among the pigeons, cat on a hot tin roof, except it's not a house here today. You carry on. I'll be back in a second. It's a cat upon... No, not cat among the pigeons. Cat on a hot tin roof. Except it's not a hot tin roof.

It's only hot because there are some sexy builders up there. Look at little Ben just run off. He won't even come in. He's taking a piss, mate. He's being foolish. Cat on a leaking shit roof. Oh, dear. But good news about the vaccine.

Anyway, when's your second dose? I don't know. I got given a card I don't even know, have I still got that card? Because people, when they have it They put it on Twitter don't they? They go look I've had the vaccine Which one did you get? Do you know which one you got? I got the Niscafe Azera

Very nice I got the AstraZeneca one Full of clots, me, now. They were sort of talking about, you know, there was a big Ferrari where the EU, actually it wasn't the EU, it was the member states, sort of decided to put a halt, a very short two-day halt on the AstraZeneca use.

And the whole Ferrari was over, like, clots, blood clots. Yeah, that's right. And I think it was like 37 people out of so many million or whatever got it. And they sort of said the normal number for clots is much higher. So you would actually be expecting a lot more clots to happen. And it kind of got me thinking, surely the AstraZeneca therefore should be regarded as being a clot clearer. It should be a blood thinner, surely. A bit clot clearer. I think I could blood thinner, surely. Big clock clearer.

I think I could probably, when I read some of this story earlier this week or last week, I just thought straight away, I'm just going to add this to the long line of things I have no idea about. And if more people admitted that, we'd all be better off. No way.

Can I just bring something to the table that I read about late last week? It concerns lots of people. I had never heard anything about this. Maybe some of our listeners will have known about it already, in which case I apologize. But I'm pretty sure the majority of them won't. I read a story last week about the marathon event at the Olympics of 1904.

Oh, yes. Lovely. Which looks like the most disorganized event in any discipline, in any sphere that I've ever seen. It is absolutely incredible what went on. I want to share it with our listeners. Pete, I shared the story with you and we asked Nat to praise it down so we've got a few bullet points to make it digestible for the uh for the very uh the very um busy listenership out there so there were um there was a there was an olympic marathon in in in 1904 um and many many things went, to say the least. Okay?

So there were, in total, I believe, I think there were 32 athletes. Obviously, it's a long time ago, so there's not as many people around doing it. And obviously, a marathon was a lot more of a difficult distance then. So only 32 athletes competed, and 14 managed to finish, right? The reason for that, or the reasons plural are as follows across the 26 mile course there were zero water stations great um yeah i mean i i don't know how the olympics marathons usually work but i'm fairly certain water is provided for people you don't want to be carrying a big water bottle around do you so one of the organizers of the olympics was a guy called james e sullivan and when he was challenged about um about the no water stations he first of all

pointed out there was a well around 11 miles in cheers do more work get the get the get draw from the well then he said that um um actually i want to conduct research on what he called purposeful dehydration that's a bluff right yeah that is a massive yeah purposeful dehydration or as we now call it these days death um the next point is that um organizers accidentally gave north american competitor tom hicks, right, who, by the way, eventually won it, a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy and rat poison. Because I think at that time, strict mind. I mean, he shouldn't have brandy in there.

I mean, it's got sugar in there, I suppose. Would probably help a little bit. Egg whites, bit of protein, rat poison. That persona non grata in any uh uh yes i did some i did some research into that i think at that point in time i think strychnine might they might have thought it was some kind of performance enhancing drug and at that point there was no such thing as a ban on performance enhancing drugs that's why like cyclists in the tour de france stuff used to take amphetamines and brandy and all sorts yeah this is this is my favorite one right god listen listen you'll like

this right one racer came into the race quite late right decided he wanted to do it um so he did it in a beret and wearing trousers right he then realized that he hadn't had anything to eat for 40 hours because no one the organizing committee had catered for the athletes. So he ended up taking a little detour into an apple orchard that he saw on the route, accidentally ate a load of rotten apples and projectile vomited all over the track, fell asleep for two hours on the track, right, and still finished fourth.

Incredible. That's a good performance. If he's done all that. I mean, eating the rotten apples, you'd be a bit pissed, wouldn't you? Because that would be just more booze for him, basically. Yeah, cider. Fantastic.

This one conducted the majority of the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that one of the runners inhaled enough to tear open his stomach lining and why is the air going into his stomach i think he's got a big problem quite frankly i think he might have just been swallowing it and this is where it gets better this is this really gets mental right an accidental release of feral dogs onto the course they're making it up they do it on purpose now they've've turned it into some kind of Running Man Schwarzenegger movie on purpose.

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I just like the fact, I mean, maybe it was to get the rat poisoned. I don't know. I don't know why they had access to the feral dogs. I don't know why they were corralling them in the first place, but they managed to just release them

onto the track. And look, I mean, you look at the Tokyo 2020-21 organization. I mean, it's not dissimilar, you would argue. There was a thing last week, obviously about a month ago, one of the heads of the Olympic Committee or the Olympic organization had to quit because he made an offhand, well, not even offhand, to be honest. He stood up in a press conference and said

women shouldn't be allowed to be high up in the Olympic committee because they talk too much and they talk for too long. And then this week, one of the Olympic committee said that a very famous Japanese comedian who's like a plus size kind of like model,

or certainly like a public figure, he said she could be lowered into the Olympic Stadium as the Olympic to complete silence in the room. Say again? Same guy who said this? No, different guy. He'd only been fighting, and the new guy stepped up to the guy who said this. No, different guy. He'd only been fighting and the new guy stepped up to the plate.

As I've chosen the new guy. He's not the new guy. He had a different job. Basically, it just, I mean, Japan doesn't, I said this on the Broadcasting Podcast, but like Japan doesn't have a lot of old white men, but they do a very good impression of the politicians of the country.

It's incredible. They just keep on doing massive Prince Philip-style gaffes, left, right, and centre. It's great. So the guy who won the one in 1904, he still won it in three hours, 28 minutes, which is bloody good. That is good, isn't it? Yeah.

He can't remember much of it because he was hallucinating for it all. So, I mean, maybe that's the future of the Olympic events. You know, get them hallucinating. Get them to try new stuff. Philum, follow Sonny D and LSD. Brilliant. Can you still get Sonny D? I feel like we've mentioned this before.

Is it still around? I was in a supermarket recently and I did not see them. They've probably been rebranded as like a health drink. Like the same way that pepperami is now a protein snack. It's like, come on, mate. Oh, that's a textbook move, that by then. The sausage used to fucking dance and go, I'm a bit of an animal! We had Edmond Edison's voice

for fuck's sake, come on. Why can't it be all things to all mouths? Exactly. Yeah, alright, anyway, on that note, do send in your favourite Olympic-related moments from history or whatever you want yeah all right anyway on that note um do send in your uh you're falling asleep your favorite your favorite um olympic related moments from history or whatever you want to send in it's hello at luke and peach.com we're going to take a break when we come back we'll do some of the

emails that you've already sent and there's been some belters uh this week as well i also at some point between now and thursday show i want to get pete talking about his favorite subject um steampunk as well. So maybe I'll work on him in the break. See you in a minute. This week at Sukarnov. On Wrestle Me,

Mark Haynes has been telling me about the world's tiniest man. You wouldn't remember that guy coming in. Blobbing in. Like a big pancake. Mass massive sort of soft biscuit. Are you sure he's six inches? Do you remember him? Do I remember him?

Right, then he isn't six inches tall. He's got a very unique body. You can also join me on the Luke and Pete show, where me and Luke have been trying to come up with excuses for our poor hairstyle choices. Now, more than any other era of my life, I care less and less about what other people think. Yeah, yeah. It's unfortunate.

I think we're at the time of life where we've probably got more disposable income than we had ten years ago and we don't give a shit about what anybody thinks and that's how midlife crises begin. I buy this stupid thing. I've got a scooter now. I'm wearing a ponytail. All that and a scooter now. I'm wearing a ponytail.

All that and a whole lot more at Sukarnov. All right, it's the Luke and Pete show. This is part two of the show. This is where we do the emails. If you want to get in touch with the show, it's simple. HelloLukeAndPeteShow.com. It's as easy as that. Have you had some strychnine in the break?

Is that why you're speaking like that? Say again? Have you had some strychnine in the break? Is that why you're speaking like that? Say again? Have you had some strychnine in the break? Is that why you're... Is it strychnine or is it strychnine? I've really struggled. I always hear it as strychnine because it kind of like... Sounds like a rapper's name.

Yes. Why has nobody been called strychnine? Fantastic. Surely someone needs to have been called that by now. It's a great name for a rapper. It is a cracking name because it's like chemical and dangerous, a bit druggy love it yeah works pretty well um all right hello at lukeandpete.com is where you send your emails lots of you have done that we'll come on

to those shortly um but a quick reminder our instagram and our twitter is at luke and pete show there's lots of fun stuff on there. I noticed earlier today that producer Nat, completely off-piste, just set an Instagram story up saying, who do Luke and Pete look like? Cheers for that, Nat. You get absolute pelters now. I don't know who will get it worse, quite frankly.

Pete looks like everyone, so it's easier. Mine will probably all be really vicious. who will get it worse, quite frankly. Pete looks like everyone, so it's easier. Mine will probably all be really vicious. Anyway, I've got an email here from Charlie who, I mean, I've titled this email, Dad with a dream job. You'll like this one, Don.

This is a bit of you for sure. Charlie says, listening to episode entitled Pete's Private Potholes, which I think was last week or the week before, and heard Kevin's story regarding Mars and minstrels. Do you remember that, where they polished the minstrels up? Great stuff. That's right, in the big plane without wings. Fantastic. Yeah.

Charlie says, in the early to mid-2000s, my dad worked as a technical engineer at the Mars head office in Slough. I'm disappointed that he doesn't tell us what a technical engineer does at Mars. So please get back in touch and tell us. But he says each and every Friday, my dad had the ability to purchase a big bag of Mars confectionery for 50p. Oh, I love it. I love cost price discount food.

Listen to this. When I say a big bag, says Charlie, I'm talking hamper size. Seemingly hundreds of Twix, Mars Bar, Galaxy, Snickers, et cetera. I would have been around the age of 10 at the time. There's absolutely no chance that bag of chocolate was smaller than my entire torso. Safe to say the chocolate had to be quickly limited and Dad started coming home empty handed every other week. Go well, Charlie.

That is dream stuff. But also, that's going to hurt you as a kid, that. It's going to hurt you long-term. I think back then, when you were a kid, though, you can kind of get over massive sweet binges. But I think it just kind of reminds me of when, you know when Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson, the Simpsons, go to that sweet expo

and Marge has to get a big court she stitched extra pockets inside and then when she gets home she just explodes and the kids just feast on it and just they're on a big sweet mountain and they're just after a day they're absolutely dying with bad stomachs but they just feel duty bound to keep eating it i mean it's just it's a sort of story you'd like to hear about at school and you'd be like fuck off like you know you your dad got what from the oil rig terrible yeah love it isn't isn't there's a lot of rumors like that like um people would say uh like one of the kids in my school was like oh yeah my dad managed to get us a video of karate kid four you know which hasn't even been made at that point you know know. Yeah. But the old chocolate thing, I would say that is more harmful than it is helpful.

Although you're absolutely right. As a kid, you can kind of get away with it. Because now, if I have like a big old, say you have like a big old curry and you really just eat yourself till you can't eat anymore. And next morning, I have a kind of hangover, like a food hangover these days. Yeah, I mean... You don't.

I mean, you're still stuck in the Chinese in the mornings. Yeah, but also just I do eat balls and balls of sweets. I ate a whole tub of ice cream last week. It's just... But like a little tub, one of those expensive tubs or a big old-fashioned like square tub. No, not a big old-fashioned square tub. That would be terrible ice cream.

I imagine there's very little. To be honest, I don't think that sort of old-school ice cream is probably that bad for us because it was mainly just ice crystals. But the modern kind of stuff, it's very foodie. It's very buttery. It's very creamy, isn't it? Yeah. People won't put up with some sand ice cream.

I've got a real blind spot in my mind like psychologically i find it very difficult to enjoy the ice cream that comes in those big square tubs chiefly because my sister's almost five it's just over five years younger than me and she used to be really car sick right and we used to go on a lot of um a lot of what i guess what now people would call a a staycation i guess although to me a staycation is when you stay home not when you stay in the uk yeah okay so i'm in a uk holiday where you all get in the car and you drive somewhere and we used to go to like haven holiday camps right you probably had them up north as well right oh it's probably called something different like pontins or whatever anyway we used to go to those and it'd be like a four-hour drive to to somerset or something and uh my sister would get so car sick she would be sick the whole time

but um but what my mom and dad gave her to be sick into was like an empty ice cream thing oh no so i can't now like label on the top yeah that's all I can think of now when I see those big ice cream boxes. So anyway, I didn't have any friends whose dads had jobs like Charlie's talking about where they could bring home sweets and stuff. But I remember thinking, because my dad was never in the Navy, but a lot of my friends' dads were because that's where I'm from, obviously. And I remember thinking it sounded really cool to go and visit your dad's ship and stuff.

But I don't remember anyone bringing home any kind of proper interesting shit like that no no apart from my dad used to build a tv based of tv um electronic items as i told you before yeah and i imagine a lot of dads brought home stds hello to graham uh my dad um i won't read that i won't read the title out but uh it's a hell of a hell of a story. Hello, Luke and Pete. Speaking of candy and consuming it, to consume candy, you're going to need a tongue and you need the freedom of the mouth. I started listening to Luke and Pete's show last year during quarantine, says Graham, and I am almost caught up now.

My batteries in my remote are grey with no branding on them, but the fine print on the cover says Google. Nice. I was listening to an episode about vets and their shady surgeries for criminals and a follow-up story from another listener about how his father took him to a vet for surgery and removed the stitches with pliers and a Stanley knife. These stories sparked a memory that I thought you and the listeners would enjoy. As a young child, I was about four or five when this happened.

I had trouble pronouncing the words like yellow. Yellow. at four or five when this happened. I had trouble pronouncing the words like yellow. Yellow. My parents took me to a doctor and it turned out my lingual frenulum, the bit of skin under the tongue that attaches your tongue to the bottom of your mouth

was too long and it had a hole in it. The doctor said they wouldn't do anything about it until I came in with a broken bone or the like. What? That's not a doctor's work. It's got to be done or it hasn't. It's not a two for work. It's got to be a job's got to be done or it hasn't. It's not a two for one.

Lordy, I'm not doing, wait for your MOT. My dad, my dad was annoyed with this response and reasonably in my opinion

and being a veterinarian, he decided to do something about it. He used a local numbing agent in my mouth and took a scalpel and severed

my lingual frenulum from the hole to the front of my mouth. Despite freezing the area, it still hurt like hell, but I can now say yellow with no issues. My dad has some fantastic stories from his time as a vet, presumably in

prison as well, such as being chased by a bull at night while he worked at a ranch in Saskatchewan. I never say that word. Saskatchewan, no. Saskatchew ranch in Saskatchewan. I never say that word. Saskatchewan. No. Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. I'm not even looking at it. I don't even know what the word is. I can never say that word.

So if you're interested, I can write in about that as well. Look, if they are even 10% as horrifying as injecting stuff into his child's mouth to numb the area. What a plumbing legend. Must have been particularly interesting growing up in the 19th century Old West as well.

So tell us some more. Were you emailing with some stories about, I don't know, your dad and the gold rush? Or how he met Jesse James? That's incredible. What we've got to the now, we've got to the point now, it's a natural progression.

And I would say a natural way to finish today's episode, we're now hearing from vets operating on their own children great stuff and i also don't when you buy something off amazon and it's like only £1.99 and they say we'll bracket this up with your next delivery because we're not going to spend money to post that little thing that shouldn't happen in the medical profession. No, no. I mean, that is for dog poo bins, bin bags and Bongella. It shouldn't be. You should be able to just get that done as and when you need it. Presumably that email did order some Bongella after what happened to him.

Indeed. Right, this has been the Luke and Pete show. Thank you for joining us for a fun little Monday show I think you can possibly agree I can agree this is my opinion

it's my show yeah watch for me yeah suck it hello at lukeandpeachshow.com if you want to get in touch check out the Instagram as well if you want to see what

crazy nonsense Natalie's been putting up whether sanctioned by the show or not usually not and at lukeandpeachshow on the Twitter as well.

We'll see you on Thursday. Say goodbye, Lukey. Goodbye, Lukey. This was a Stakhanov production and part of the ACAST Creative Network.