The Luke and Pete Show - A Voracious Reader

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

We’re kicking off today’s proceedings with a jaunt down a very Scottish memory lane, as Luke and Pete reflect on Dundee’s greatest export: the comics of DC Thomson. Those poor Broons were always getting taken advantage of, bless them.Plus, Pete’s recent stay in Bath prompts a discussion concerning publishing, audiobooks and, naturally, Elon Musk’s big ol’ chest.Finally, and most importantly, Luke is a big reader. He reads a lot. Just so we’re absolutely clear about that.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail] Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Shoppy Dawson with you, and I'm joined by that little boy, Alex called Lukie Moore. Hello. We've just been reading about the new Bastricht Kids. We've added more Bastry Kids in there. Luke and Pete Show Killer Bees? Yeah. On the Swarm. Yeah.

Talking about Bastreet Kids. I thought, for some reason, inadvertently, I just typed in Bast Street Guys into Google. The Bash Street Guys. And they didn't come up. There were plenty of episodes. Which one did you most identify well? First of all, explain to people who they are, and then tell me which one you identify.

It was a child's cartoon comic, comic from the Beano Stable. It was a weekly comic, and you'd get your Dennis the Menace, the UK version, not the American version. You'd get your Minnie the Minx, you'd get Calamity James, you'd get, and you'd get the Bash Street kids. Johnny Fart Pants? No, that was Viz. I, he the terrible.

Billy the Fish. Roger the Dodger. All those fans, Billy Whiz. Desperate Down was Dandy, wasn't he? Dandy, he was. I forgot it, Billywears. Inferior. That's a simpler time.

He had a straw coming out of his head. Yeah. Nobody else why. Yeah, the straw coming out of his head. This is a simpler time because back then, yeah. It was enough of a mechanism, of a platform, of a format,

to just have a kid who could run really fast. Yeah. But at least that's the thing. They sustained that every week for years. What's he going to do now? Run really fast again. That's his one skill. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe you run too fast and you've, you've run too fast. You've missed the thing that you were looking out for. Are you a plug kind of guy? Well, I was, I quite liked, is it Herbert? Herbert, with an E. Herbert, he had no neck and his head was basically into his jumper.

Was he a swat? Was he a girly swat? No, he was just a, they were just all ugly kids, weren't they? And you had your faties and you plug, plug was the ugly one? Herbert had no neck. And then, was there a stinky one? Which is flies buzzing around. Yeah, I could get the sense that there was like a pig pen kind of character. But we know we've got new ones, but they don't have,

like their own attributes apart from the fact they're ethically diverse. Which I think is the reason they're in there because they wanted to make it more but that's not a trait is it? Inclusive.

But I think they've not made it inclusive enough because they've not given them anything to do. Yeah. They've just said well these are their traits are

black kid Asian kid it doesn't make any sense to me one of them has to be run fast. If I knew anyone that would still subscribe to the B-note

it'd be you. Yeah. Yeah, I would... Is it all online now? It's... You'd sort of get... I mean, it's universally... You never see them anymore, really, you'd be...

You see the annuals every year, but what are they making the annuals out of? Exactly, and what's happened is... D.C. Thompson and Co. They've been choked... Was it D. D.C. Thompson and Co., yeah? From Scotland. Same who did the Bruins and Earl Wally.

Mm-hmm. Which I used to get every year as an annual from the Scottish relative. They would get double bubbled around the different, and they'd always look the same. Was the artist called Dudley something? I can't remember. Because sometimes you'd get... get those kind of, it wasn't just the weekly comics, you would get like a Dennis the Menace

or Bash Street Kids special and I love the Bash Street Kids and you'd get like a smaller kind of half an A4 sheet sized kind of book and it would be longer and it would never be drawn by the original artist and so you'd get the Bash Street Kids and they'd look wrong because they weren't being drawn by Dudley Dee Watkins. Dudley Dee Watkins sounds like a cartoon character. It does. Dudley Dee Watkins is the dash and. Can I make a character? Can I make a comparison? Right. The reason you don't see the Beano anymore is the same way that you don't really get

proper radio personalities anymore. Right, and I'll tell you why. Because the reason you don't get proper radio personalities anymore is why. You tell me why. Why? It's because vanity casting, isn't it? It's because they get famous people in just to do it.

Yeah, and that's a replacement for a personality just being well-known. I think back in the day, if you started out on the overnights, bang, before you know it, you do well, on early breakfast. Then you might get a mid-afternoon gig. Then you might get drive or breakfast.

But it doesn't happen now, but no one gets breakfast often on famous people. I think that... It's the same with comic strips. The problem is, if you go to the supermarket and I let my son choose a comic,

what's he choosing? He's choosing comic book versions of existing format. Like TV shows, movie. He's getting a Porteotrol comic. He's getting a Nickelodeon comic or a pepper pig comic.

They are not traditional comic book characters. And I wouldn't like to... They've been crowded out, yeah. I wouldn't like to... If I was a friend... of Poor Patrol or the K-pop demon hunters, I wouldn't want to see the graphic novel

because I would feel like, well, this isn't canon. This is just, they've given this job to somebody else. My son has got a Poor Patrol book, which is basically a page-by-page version of an extended Poor Patrol episode, just done by AI. I mean, that is, that's poor. I would never have bought him that, by the way.

But he has got it, hand me down something, and he just loves it. You've got to have your wits about you with the, the, you know, AI revolution, people making sort of stuff. Because one minute before you, you know,

you're doing, you're doing poor patrol adaptations, then before you know it, you've accidentally caused human extinction. Yeah. The two things go hand in hand. What's the, is it rule 37 or something?

Every, there's a pornography of everything. Right. And you go on a website and you type in the thing you're talking about and there's always a pawn of it. Have you heard that story of, it's included in the latest John Ronson book called The Castle?

Right. Which is, you know, it's fine. It's not great. I saw your review. You're very scathing about it. It's not great. It's probably the weakest of his work.

Right. Anyway, he talks about a YouTube channel, which was left to just using, I can't remember how they actually did it, but like they used to generate programs automatically, right? So some kind of algorithm. So basically, right, say that you didn't have the rights to Pepper Pig,

you would use some kind of algorithm, some kind of computer program, to just generate knock off pepper pig videos and then upload them to YouTube and what would happen is parents would be putting their kids in front of them knowing there's a playlist of fucking

300 of these episodes off-brand kind of pepper pig style episodes and it'll be stuff like I don't know Pepper Pig goes to the beach or whatever but it's not an official pepper pig product and they're leaving the computer to generate the new episodes themselves

does that make sense? Right okay and before they know it they're just they're used using the keywords that people are searching for to generate new content. Yeah. And, but it became horrific. But yeah. It was like, it was like, Spider-Man climbs out of pepper pigs eyeballs and stuff.

Yeah, it was always like... And the parents didn't know the kids were watching it. It was always like, it was always the, uh, not Arna, from, um, whatever the main one of, um, uh, Frozen is and Spider-Man. Elsa. Elsa, from Frozen and Spider-Man and they have a baby and they do a pull on the toilet. And it's just kind of that... Absolutely witless shit.

Yeah, but that... I find delightful. But it's being created by non-human intelligence, right? I think back... I think back... Yeah, probably now, I guess. But back then, it wasn't. It was done by, you know, quite, quite...

Enterprise in Russian... That's right. ...3-D studios. But isn't it dystopian? Mm. It seems really dystopian. But I guess all you can realistically do with anyone in your life, I think,

is just give them the... The tools? Give them the tools to sort of sniff out quality. You know what tools have you given me? What talks have you given me? I don't know. You for it.

I used to all the time. I know. It's annoying, isn't it? But what, what chance of unintelligent people got? Exactly. You're a clever bloke,

and you're still falling for it. Some Nigerian prints. I'll have your money off here in a minute. I think, I think I'm that bad. No. I don't think I'm that quite that. I remember.

If, if like, I don't know, David Coverdil zooms you and his mic doesn't work, but he's on the Zoom and he's asking you to send him some money

so he can make a new album. David Coverdale? What, of White Snake? Yeah. It's always somebody like Paul McCartney or somewhere. Like going, hello, I'm trapped in a building. Can I just check? Can I just check in your mind,

David Coverdow and Paul McCartney are in the same conversation? Same league. Same league. Both members of legendary bands. Both big penises, apparently. Really? Well, that's where David Coverdell got the White Snake name from. Right.

Big old appendage. But Paul McCartney has as well, does he? No, I don't know. I've made that bit out. I just thought I'd I don't want to live in a way where Paul McCartney's got a big old fucking shlong

being more disrespected of Paul McCartney is he a national treasure Paul McCartney? I don't know he's had too many missteps hasn't he really What do you mean?

Well Say Say with Michael Jackson that my daughter seems to be obsessed with for no reason Ebony and Ivory as well Yep Have you seen

Have you seen that video Say No I've never even heard the song Say say Say say what you're doing Oh okay right Yeah That one

Yeah It's like a while West thing where Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney go from town to town, I think doing like a show, some kind of mad kind of show. Were they friends? Why are they making so many songs together? I don't know. I think Michael Jackson

always sort of grab, you know, drag people closer to you that, you know, because he bought their music, didn't he? He stole it. He bought the Beatles music and the annoyed Paul McCartney. Right. That's before they made the songs together. I think I was after. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But they giant his tax, big friends with Paul McCartney.

strange. Is he still alive? No, died of cancer in the 90s. Okay. But he but they did that video together and in the video they're going from town to town doing shores in the Wild West or whatever back of the Western times whatever that was and

late 19th century. Late 19th century and at one point Michael Jackson falls in love with a lady and later is really flirting with her and they cast Latoya Jackson for the role which seems absolutely bad shit. How does she get the job?

What are the chances? She was the best person for that job. Yeah, but Michael Jack, why does Michael Jackson want chasing around his sister? That's not even the weirdest thing, then. There was a weird conspiracy theory before the internet existed that Michael Jackson and La Toyo Jackson were the same person, wasn't there? Right, okay. That was the conspiracy theory.

He's little, isn't she? I don't really know if I have a good handle on... La Toya's work. Of her uvra, to be honest. I couldn't name a singer. I know loads of Janet Jackson's songs, but... Because there was Jermaine Jackson. the rest of the Jackson's that you sort of like kicking around.

A lot of Jackson's. A lot of Jackson. Do you know how many Jackson's there were? Seven. I think they were eight. Right. So I've got them here. Jackie Jackson, Michael Jackson, Tito, Marlon.

Randy, LaToya, Rebbe and Janet. Rebbe? Yeah. You never hear from Rebbe? Never hear about Rebbe. Have they all got really bad plastic surgery? All the rest of them. Kind of.

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of, yeah. Rebby's, she's not really seem to have done an awful lot other than being in the CBS television show, the Jackson. and then put an album out of 1984 that no one liked. Oh.

That's a shame. Oh, she's in, she did the cover version of Bob Dylan's Forever Young for the Free Willy II soundtrack. So, you know, hard to know who's had more of a country imprint. Exactly. Her and her brother, yeah. Incredible. I used to get, as I was saying,

I used to get Earl Wally and the Bruins every Christmas. I used to fucking love it. It's to get a big annual every, to the point where, about a year or so ago, my mum said, we've taken one of the stuff out of the attic. Can you take it back to London with you? And I said, no, because at the time, I had a small flat, so I'm not doing it.

And I know that sentimentally she would never throw it out. So I can plan the Trump car, just say I'm not doing it. Yeah. But anyway, I thought I better do a decent thing and have a look through it all. And I couldn't bring myself to throw away the ore while these are the brunes. No. Well, Slim, I'm used a friend who... Use his proper name.

Don't use his internet name. I'm using this... Matthew. Right. Use his name. Good. Matthew. Why did you call him Slim?

I can't remember. He's got a Slim Boss Quest tattoo. I forget why his name's too. But does anyone else call him slim? Yeah, me, Mark. You know who I was talking about when I said Slim. Yeah. Which makes him sound like, I don't know, like a sort of Harlem pimp.

Either that or he's really fat. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Bashwick himself. Well, he's obsessed as a Scotsman, a man from Fife. He's a man who's obsessed with. with the Bruins and Orwellie. And he does occasionally send me like screenshots of his

Bruin collection. I think he's working in London right now. And he sends us a picture of his Bruins collection and some of the stories. And pretty much every story involves a homeless person taking advantage of the Bruins. Yeah, okay.

The Bruins sort of like giving them, you know, giving them an inch and the homeless person taking a mile. and then attracting other homeless people to sort of say that these these Bruins are a soft touch So I just feel like Are they still doing them now?

Is it modern? I guess so. Yeah. Oh no, that was 947. So in 1947 There was, yeah, there was 947 Because my, my memory of the Bruins annual or the Orwelly annual

is that each page was from the Sunday post during the year or whatever But I hadn't seen those because I didn't get the Sunday post because I lived in England. and at the top of every single one of them was a poet little kind of rhyming poem Right

So I also I remember there was one particular Comic strip of the Bruins Where they had some plans Because there's so many family members They It was like a Chinese whispers thing Right

And the whole thing got went wrong And got silly And I remember the poem at the top was The message passed from lip to lip Gets Fuddled, twisted all muck's dip And I still remember that to this day I must have read that I was about eight years old. Mixed up.

Nice. But all while he was the better one, really. It certainly, I think when you've got so many characters, you need that, you need that central, for a comic like that, you need a central sort of figure.

And he used to sit on a bucket, and had a little dog. Yeah, I can't remember much more about him. Yeah, the friend called Soapy, didn't he? Right, okay. And another friend called Fat someone. Let me guess, soapy was stinky?

No, he was just quite, he was quite slick. He was quite kind of like cool. Oh. He was bit Elvis looking. Soapy Suto, his name was. be so. And there's a little friend

called fat something but I can't remember his name. Yeah, and there's a little dog, obviously. He's always playing football and always having a lovely time. It's great.

Sometimes you get a crossover rep. Right. So Or Wally pops up in the background of a Bruins one or something. Yeah. Don't like it. Don't like it.

It's going to be Dundee's greatest cultural export. So again, Dundee, yeah. Dundee cake? Well, yeah. The Dundas Arcade. No.

I don't know anything else comes from Dundee. Dundie cake and Earl Wally in the Bruns. Right. It's got to be it. Anyway, Peter, what else have you been up to? What else have been up to?

So I didn't know that you were in today because you came in so astonishingly late that I was already doing some other stuff. So what happened on the way in? I spent the night in Bath. Right. What a place Bath is. I forget, I visited it once,

but I don't think I really got a sort of handle on it. It's bloody stunning. What a beautiful place. Lovely place. Yeah, really nice place. I've done a couple of dates on Chris Broad, abroad Japan's book tour

he's released a a British book tour a British book tour and he's done a he did a date in London a date in where was the London one that was that oh god

the home of the ethics society um the historical home of the ethics society um I can't remember Conway Hall Conway Hall you were hosting it were you Conway Hall I was hosting it yes

it was good it had a good time well attended was very well attended it was very keen Nehonophiles all to a man and woman and they

and it was fun but Chris is releasing his book on the week that El Spencer has released his book so I don't think he's going to be getting the

get to the top of the That's a character That's a big Do you see what happened with that See the Pierce Morgan thing Massive error By the good people at Penguin Random House

Right Who've released our book Right Who, so, that, let me get this right. So Charles Spencer, is that his name?

El Spencer. Yeah. Is his name Charles, Bruno? Charles Spencer, yeah. Anyway, he said that Piers Morgan

did something at the Daily Mirror around Princess Diana. Right. And it's a big accusation, a big claim. I think it's in the opening stanzas of the book.

And Piers Morgan wasn't even the editor then. Right. So Piers Morgan's been like, well, I'm obviously going to see you for that because I wasn't even at the company.

What? So he, what he came out and said. It got through all the checks. It got through all the proof reading, all the checks. He put that in the book? It's in the book. Fuck a duck. I know. So he named Piers Morgan by name that he was. Believe so, yeah. Fuck. That's, that's, that's money. He is going to make so much money out of that.

So I think they might have to. Wow. That's like, that's over like 200, 200, 200, that's quarter of a million quid. And you've gone after Pierce Morgan as well. And this is the thing. So Spencer has automatically like, instantly done a public apology. Yeah, because he has. And Morgan said,

I want the book pulled. Yeah, nice. Not good enough. I want it pulled. Wow. So not a great start. No. Is he got what they're going to do?

Pulpit? Probably not. Like the final left side of Partridge. What they're going to do? Put a sticker over the top of them. It's like, it's like a kind of booky porridge. Yeah.

See it going through the pulpit. Is that why they said it at half price in Waterstone? The thing is, I don't want to be, I don't want to come across as insensitive. But basically the story is that he claims. that Morgan published quote highly intrusive photographs of Princess Diana at the gym in 1993.

Right. But it's factually incorrect because Pierce Morgan wasn't there so it can't have been him. And obviously there's the apology and the rest of it because Pierce Morgan didn't go to the mirror until 95. Right.

Pretty big error. But when I looked into it and again, I don't want to come across as insensitive, but I just want to be honest. Like, have you seen what the book is and what it's about? I bought the book for a little joke on stage yesterday but I

It's like a really kind of revealing biography of his own sister called Swan Song Nothing has ever smacked more of I need some wedge quick Very few, very big writing Maybe it's the audience he's gone for

But very big writing Big font, always a danger You'll see if it was a normal sized typeface in a paperback it would be very, it would be leaflet size. It's always a problem. I remember I love, I always talk about this,

but I love the first Alex Verges in autobiography, which finishes when they win the Champions League in 99. Right. And it's a brilliant book. And when I got the second one, you, and this back in when you still get like, I wasn't using Kindle then,

and you open it up and your heart just sinks. Why? Because the font is about 64. Right. It's so big. And it's like, fucking how it's got to say. It's for stupid. It's basically,

book for stupid people. So there we go. Yeah, but the other thing that old Spencer was talking about was he claims that the king, or who was Prince Charles then, said, we'll forget Diana soon enough in the days after her death.

That's the big court that they made a big deal out of. What do you think about that? It depends on how you say it, I suppose, isn't it? Yeah, like if you're... forget soon enough. Come on. Yeah. Let's have a gin. That's worse than, you know, I suppose in time we'll feel better and we'll forget her soon enough.

That's better than what you just said. Yeah. Yeah. So it depends on the context. That when it's written down, it looks bad, but it might not be. What about, could you say it in an angry way? What do you mean? We'll forget.

We'll forget her soon enough. That's worse. That's like an instruction, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Or if you could present it as like a question, because you're looking for a leave. from your grief, we'll forget soon enough.

Yeah. Yeah. That's just how the body and the brain works. It's mad how they're able to come up with stuff that's really fucking problematic. Like various different members of the family, isn't it? If it's not your Prince Harry's of this world of this world. It's your Prince Andrews. If it's not them, it's your Spencers.

And if it's not them, it's the king. They seem to better come up with some amazing stuff from all over the family. Every, every, all four corners of the family. Yeah. Everyone's got a bit of trouble there. Do you think that with this, you'd probably want more? Because I was talking to the penguin sort of team.

Hobnobbing, were you? No, it was hobnobbing, were you? So you hobnobbing around Chris's book, were you? Well, no, I was having a, they took us for a meal before the first gig. How were you involved? I don't know, I just tagged along. I like, a bit of clamour.

I like a bit of chicken. I like a bit of fish. Sprinking a little bit of glamour over the occasion, were you? And they were sort of saying that how that book gets delivered and the Harry book and stuff it gets to the CEO of Penguin

gets the copy. Oh so the book stops with them? Well, I'm not saying that but apparently just to just to close off any kind of information breaking out of the thing is literally CEO and it says

that we've got this project here's a draft and they give it to somebody at Penguin really high up and they're the only two people who know about it. And then it's almost shadow dropped. It's almost kind of like, we've got a book coming out next week. There it is.

What's also mad is the way that publishing's done now because back in the day, the different outlets and the retailers would buy X amount of copies of it and then sell it. That was a book buyer? Yeah, right, okay. You used to buy for Tesco and Asda and stuff.

But then they changed the rules, didn't they, so they could just send them back. Right. And so it meant that like it became a bit of a, a bit of a death spiral for publishing really, along with all the other stuff that's going on.

I think they're just choke-holded by a lot of the big supermarkets. I do think about that and then you sort of go paper's quite cheap and it. You know what I mean? It's the press that costs.

The actual, the actual, you can get like a self-published sort of indie title for a reasonable amount of money published. I've got a, I've got a manifesto

out, of course. You can, yeah. Yeah, that's what I mean, yeah. And like, I mean, yeah. And like, I always, I'm always surprised out how cheap that sort of thing is. And also, the problem is that no one really

buys books in any great volume these days. We're not a very literary kind of sort of generation. No, we're becoming less, but I think we're, I think, again, the penguin lot, the, the, it is growing, but there's just a lot more audio books and there's a lot more. I tell you, there's an audiobook quite recently, which is a cop-out, I agree. the

Flesh, the Booker Prize winner from last year. What's it about? Did you like it? It's about a Hungarian, a sexy Hungarian man who is almost entirely monoslabic. He's always fucking.

And he has a fruitful, successful and then tragic life. Right. Did you enjoy it? I did enjoy it immensely. But it was kind of one of those books where you're like, how have I sort of sat through,

you know, read, didn't read, a book for like, you know, it's 12 hours where the lead character barely says anything. Well, partly because you're up or not, aren't you, at the moment? That's important, yeah. Is that where you're listening to them?

No, just when I'm telling at the garden, when I'm doing my chores and that. I could, with an audio book and it's just one narrative of no real sound design, I tend to drift. Do you, right? Yeah, it's just one voice.

When you read, but you, but also, I guess you read more non-fiction than fiction is that fair? Yeah and I read a lot I know just put it Bruno put down this and it's not so I read a lot Luke reads a lot I'm a big veracious reader

We read a lot Yeah But I've just read I'm in the middle of reading that latest Trump book The Maggie Havenman Jonathan Swan one Oh yeah It's amazing

Because I watch so much fucking like You know I'm putting bullocks now these days I just feel like what's the point Because everything that would have been said in that I would have heard about Yeah but it's good to it One long narrative

Yeah But it's fucking funny Because it's just so ridiculous. Like the first, all the books about the first term, most of which I've read, it's like it's still a little bit of a semblance of reality about it. There's still some grunts in the room. Yeah, there's like you hear of like,

I don't know, some big like general or something who's just, who's actually done stuff. Yeah. Leader of, you know, American forces in fucking Iraq or something. Like it's actually done a serious job. Yeah. But despite what you think of that kind of conflict or whatever, it's actually a proper job.

Whereas now it's like the people in, involved is so bad they're all basically just like glorified reality TV like people so it's like half of the chat is about I've just read the chapter about um um Elon Musk and someone else having a big row about oh yeah that's it so they have a big row him and Marco Rubio oh yeah Elon Musk he was just totally you know obviously totally unelected kind of guys just in these cabinet meetings just screaming at Marco Rubio that hasn't fired enough people. The Marco Rue was just, fuck you.

And then Donald Trump leaves because he's bored. And then later on, he hears that they have a shoving match in the corridor. Nice. And someone, someone thinks,

probably better tell the president about that. And the president's response is, oh yeah, who won? And they just move on to the next thing. It's absolutely bananas. I wouldn't want to try and shove Elon Musk because he's all breastplate. He's a barrel.

He's a whole... He's like me. I'm a barrel chest. No, you know, no. You look like a normal man. He's got a very... very, very distinctive silhouette. Do you not get the impression

if you pushed him hard, he'd just shat him through a million pieces, though? Yeah, I don't know. He's like half man, half ketamine, isn't he? Yeah, it's a good point, actually. He definitely piss himself, almost immediately. That's the problem with the old ketamine. Yeah.

It is the problem... You start out your own piss lining, isn't it? I'll tell you a story once I went to a house party. Right. And I was not partaking in it. Okay. But I was just torn around this house party. It was a long time ago.

I was much younger. And, um... And, um... in the kitchen, I think I was going out of the kitchen to get a beer from the fridge or something. And this is probably about, I don't know, it wasn't even that late,

10pm or something like that, and I'd just gone there because it was a friend of a friend's party or whatever. And there was a bloke cooking on the hob, just boiling a load of water on the hob. Right. And it's for ages, what you're doing?

And cut a long story short, he was making ketamine. He was making ketamine. So he was boiling it down from liquid to powder. So I guess it gets to the point where it just dries out totally. You know when you're cooking rice? Yeah.

Just dries out totally. I trust the straight. I wouldn't want a man to... I wouldn't want to... I spoke ketamine. I think ketamine is an exceptionally dangerous drug, but I did admire the get up and go. The shit's proverb.

Yeah. Now we cook. Yeah, I just think... Now we boil. He's a man who's taking responsibility for his own... His own supply. I guess so, yeah. Yeah.

Is that illegal to do that, do you think? Yeah. Probably, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, because you're making narcotics. Well, I haven't named him. Yeah. No, you haven't. No, you haven't.

I imagine he just bought a massive load of it for some dodgy vet and was in liquid form. Yeah. They all comes from like Netherlands, isn't it? Does it? But like, people have ruined their lives and will continue to ruin their lives on the old ketamine. It doesn't sound a lot of fun.

There was... The more dangerous it gets, the more I go, it's got to be good, though, isn't it? If you're risking your life like that. The story I heard about it, which was horrific, was the guy said to me that he couldn't... He couldn't piss properly, but he couldn't not piss.

Mad. Bases, penis, it's dribbling urine. There's no control whatsoever. I'm looking at Bruno, because he's about 25. Very much in the, very much in the... Check his trout. Check the little little circle. He's a fine, outstanding member of society,

but he's part of the... By night. He's of the generation. He boils up Ket. He's of the generation. Yeah. It's how I go through the job. I said, if you're going to be boiling Ketamin down in a house party,

I respect your resourcefulness, and you can have a job here any time. To be fair, your interviewing your interview skills are, in my opinion, are lacking because today you did ask a member of staff if you can have a pair rise if you eat this entire

gourd. I said, no, I saw someone, one of our colleagues in the kitchen, playing with a giant butternut squash. I mean, that's a dicket of a wide problem, I was here. Your, it wasn't my friend who brought a button out squash and it was yours by the way. Yeah, fine. Anthony Richardson. But they find that they can bring in gauds.

I was just saying what happens to the gourd in the post-recorded environment. Where's the gourd going? Where's the gourd go? I just said to our colleague, Gordon. If you eat that entire butternut squash right now, raw, I will speak to someone and get you a pay rise. Did you talk figures?

No. Because I'd want to know figures. They dismissed the suggestion out of hand. If you ask me, it's done before you even give you the number. It wasn't Bruno. If I give it to Bruno, he would at least consider it. But how much are you wanting to eat an entire button that squash raw in front of your colleagues? Yeah, I tell you what, if you could peel it

I could I peel it, I don't go to it. It's one of those ones once you started. You didn't shit for a week, would you? Or maybe you'd shit all the time, I don't know. Once you start it, you can't stop. Also, I think people would get quite bored. 20 minutes in. Fucking hell.

It's the snapping of the fibres as you bite into it. Is it me eating a gourd or is it my dog? If you ever eaten a gourd, let us know. Let's know. Hello, Lukepitcho.com is the way to get in touch. We'll be back. We're going to find out on the Rule 34 website. if there's any

little Pete's short pornography that anyone's made. I mean, I'll be honest I hope not. No.

I don't know who that could possibly be for. All right then. We'll be back on Monday. Monday? Monday.

What are you saying Monday? Ah, and being the air bully. Come back on Monday. Monday. We'll be back on Monday and have a lovely weekend and enjoy the

England match. Sprinkle a load of Kittam over a giant but not squash. Oh. And dig in. Yes. I'm in the land of the stones.

A boy said that in my house once. I'm trying to kick him out. After he smoked a weed, a cigarette. The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the ACAST creator network.