The Luke and Pete Show - Alien Invasion or Avant Garde Installation?

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

Luke’s back with turmeric stained fingers and he’s got something to say about Marc Haynes' impression of him on last week’s show. Meanwhile, Pete’s been playing with petrol and getting bullied by a particularly crafty salesman... Also on this episode: fried turkeys, mysterious metal structures and the theft of a Banksy. What a weekend it’s been!Get involved at [e-mail] and if you enjoy the show, please drop us a review on Apple Podcasts! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the Luke and Pete show. My name is Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Luke Mill once again. I say once again, you weren't here last week. How are you doing, Luke? You're all right? I'm all right, thanks, because I've got a complaint or two to make. Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs. What's happened? What have I done now? I just thought Mark Haynes was absolutely horrendous about me, and he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself although i did one thing i will say is that he did refer to me as young so i'm going to let him off but he was um he was he kind of besmirched my good reputation that i've spent years building up and a man of his quality and his experience this reputation is it carries weight it carried this man's work with

barry crier it carries weight when a man like that talks about you you know so i was a little bit disappointed in him he he will obviously appreciate your your your words about his work but i thought he he is the impression was cock on for me personally i thought he did really well yeah very good um i i am i i occasionally get reminded by my wife that i am that tedious but it's nice to have it replicated in my work as well. No, listen, I enjoyed the shows last week. Thanks for organising that while I was gallivanting around doing other bits and pieces.

It's much appreciated, Peter. No worries. Did you have a nice week? What's going on? What have you been up to? I was off on the Monday because it was my wedding anniversary. Ooh la la. And we were supposed to

be in the US but sadly due to um the uh the COVID situation we weren't able to go so we took a day off and went to Richmond Park which is very nice and then on the Thursday which was actually Thanksgiving Thursday we just um I took another day off to uh to do um Thanksgiving things with my lovely wife so um it was good a fun time was had by all in the circumstances, and I was able to have even more of a nice time, Pete, knowing that a man like you is keeping the home fires burning, holding the fort, and there's nothing to worry about. Did you fry a turkey?

Isn't that what people do on Thanksgiving? Do some people fry turkeys? I've seen loads of people getting upset about people frying turkeys. That sounds like the perfect thing to do to a turkey. So basically, do you remember? It was all the rage in the 90s that the fire brigade, fire department, and the public health people were just putting adverts and communications out there about chip pan fires.

Chip pan fires, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the deep fat frying of a turkey at Thanksgiving is kind of the american equivalent of that so what it's the thing you do after the pub you just fry an entire turkey it causes a lot it causes a lot of deaths basically right you'll be irresponsible with the equipment and fucking up with the really boiling hot fat which causes a fire and people die so every year around this time there is like a couple of there's a lot of public health messaging saying yeah don't do that just cook it properly yeah do it outside do it outside but even outside people do it on their decking and then you know that's made of wood so then the decking

yeah so listen mate there's one born every minute as they say um i'm i'm i bought a um because of my the the ongoing saga that is my motorised scooter, I bought some petrol from the petrol station round the corner. The way you said that is that you just bought a bottle of it and brought it home. I did. I did exactly that. I bought a bottle.

Was it a polyurethane approved container? Was it a proper container? It was, yeah. It was a proper jerry can, like a modern jerry can. But the problem is it's got a malformed spout, like we all do. Did you take it around your ex-wife? Like Michael Scott in The Office where he wants to tell Holly that he loves her and he does it with fire.

People don't marry me. Peter, people will have an image in their mind now of you staggering around the pavement, spilling it, screaming expletives outside a poor, unsuspecting woman's house, saying, I still love you, though. I still love you. I'm going to do a Rage Against the Machine cover. The problem is it's got a malformed cover and a malformed spout. And I pour the petrol. I put the petrol in the machine, but it spills all over the floor. And it's in a garage, so it's an enclosed space. So the fumes are going everywhere.

I'm just a little bit concerned that I've made quite literally a tinderbox. Yeah. And then I try and mop it up with bits of bounty. And then that just gets covered in petrol. And I'm like, well, that's a fire risk as well. Where do I put these petrol-covered cloths? Next thing you know, you wake up on the garage floor and it's morning. You could be overcome by the fumes.

It does smell nice, petrol. I've never had good reason to own any petrol. But, oh, it's a lovely smell, isn't it? It's like to bring a saw. So, I mean, i've never known a human being to be approaching the use of a vehicle in quite so many stages and phases as you are so what phase are you at now i'm uh every couple of days i get out on my little scooter and go up and down the road um and the feds can't get me for that they can um they won't they won't

bother they've got bigger fish to fry mate they've got bigger fish to fry um they've got bigger turkeys to fry but yeah and i've just been doing that really and i'm just waiting for my registration to come through i'm huffing petrol uh so that's so you're waiting for some some documentation are you i'm waiting for documentation waiting for my registration to come through i managed to get some kind of temporary insurance for my on-road off-road uh vehicle and i gray imported from china or i think it's called parallel importing or something but um yeah i didn't realize um scooter ownership was so bloody involved and i wish i'd bought a secondhand one quite frankly yeah you should have just gone to a forecourt bought a secondhand one and you could have had it up and

running ages ago i know i'm an idiot i'm an absolute problem is that you you've and this is this is typified you and your personality ever since i've known you as you have almost like a debilitating need to be different um no i have a debilitating need for things to happen now otherwise if it if i've got to wait for three or four days i'm not interested anymore i'm not like my brain will go peter you didn't need that and i'll go i didn't need that i'm glad i didn't buy it i'm glad i didn't do it but yeah no uh yeah the the whole if i don't do it on that day it won't happen um and and i sit and i say this um currently recording on one of those new M1 MacBooks. They've got a new low-power central processing unit,

and they are wholly incompatible with a raft of new programs that I've been using for a very long time. So, yeah, I bought one because I was like, I need a slightly more powerful machine with a slightly longer battery life. And so now I'm in a situation where a lot of my software just doesn't work anymore. So that's good. I have to be an early adopter. I have to be an early adopter, Luke, because I like being angry at technology I can't use.

That's Apple for you, though, right? So basically, they've made obsolete a lot of stuff again with another generation of stuff. Is that what you're saying? They kind of have and they kind of haven't they did the new um the new uh cpus are um they they don't use quite so much power and so therefore you get more battery life out of them so they've done a wonderful bit of work but the problem is um all of it they're all of the programs have to be written in slightly different way and it's going to take a little bit of time for developers to change their products to take advantage of the new chip. But in the meantime, the new chip is trying to do a blooming good impression

of the last chip, the Intel chip, the non-Apple Silicon chip, and it's called emulating. You know, like when you play a Super Nintendo game on your PC or whatever. Yeah, I know what that is, yeah. That's emulated. It pretends that it's the CPU of the Super Nintendo. So, yeah, it's doing that with's um the the cpu of the nintendo so yeah it's it's doing that with the old mac so therefore there are um so if you're using adobe audition like i do it's a little

slower than you're usually used to so there you go um speaking of this slightly i mean it's like slight tangent i suppose but um i saw a story um on the bbc website um a week or two ago which i forgot to raise with you at the time, and of course last week I was off, is that you know famously, listeners to this show will know that as part of the Pete Donaldson folklore that you had to pay an extortionate amount of money

to have broadband when you were living in central London. Well, there was a guy in a town called Whizbeach in Cambridgeshire who is a software engineer, and he moved from London out to Whizbeach for the usual story, a quieter way of life and all the rest of it. And he realized that he couldn't get super-fast broadband, right? And so he inquired to BT and whatever they're called. Is it Openreach, I think they're called? Yes.

To get broadband installed. whatever they're called is it open reach i think they're called um yes to get to get um broadband um installed and he got quoted 101 855 pounds yeah yeah fiber the fiber fiber cables in england uh are pretty awful um apparently there's a lot of investment happening in these like weird towns like stork is apparently going to be the next big um uh fiber superpower when it comes to the uk but yeah it's it's it's really hard to get anything resembling uh any kind of decent connection out in the sticks because it's just not where the money is effectively like there's no if you live out in sky on the isle of sky they've got amazing broadband because i think the government the scottish government invested heavily in places like the Western Isles because they were worried that those places

would be left behind. So they do things like fuel subsidies and superfast broadband to encourage people to kind of stay there or move there or whatever. Well, I still haven't got mine installed. A man, I'm not going to name him, but I bloody could because I know his name, at the BT. That's the worst threat I've ever heard. It's the most unthreatening threat ever uttered by a human being.

Luke, I rang his manager. Oh, now you're talking. What did you say? I rang a man's manager. Did you do your little official boss voice? I made it very clear that I was very angry, but then I got a little emotional and said, I feel like I'm being bullied here.

Did you tell them about your moped? I'm having a bad week, all right? I'm having a bad week. I can't get my moped on the road. And I think a man from the... I know you said his name earlier. Yeah, Saeed. I think it's Saeed. I don't think you're going to incriminate him by just said his name earlier. Yeah, Saeed. I think his name is Saeed.

I don't think you're going to incriminate him by just using his first name. It could be anyone. No, no, no. But, yeah. What's the upshot? He just won't answer. He wouldn't answer any of my calls.

He wouldn't give me the form that I needed to fill in to get this council person to come round and dig a hole in my front garden, so to speak. And I just felt like this lad was taking the piss. Oh, I've been off this week. I haven't been very well. Oh, I've been busy this week. I mean, just do your – this has been months.

This has been months. All you need to do is send me a DocuSign. Send me it. It's like I rang someone's boss. So for me, I always feel like – I don't know, this is not going to surprise a lot of people listening i guess you've already got an idea about the type of human being i am um but but i always feel like if i say on the call look i know this isn't your fault personally i'm not holding you

personally responsible i always find i feel that's a bit of a get out of jail free and you can go to town after that because you kind of you criticize the company and not the person and you can't obviously swear because i used to work at a call center and as soon as they swear that's you get out you just go right well i can't i'm not allowed to proceed with the call if you're going to use foul abusive language so i'll see you later so you can't ever swear because then they'll just they'll just swerve it if you you can kind of be as forthright as you want without being abusive as long as you make it clear that you're not being personally you know critical of that human being right because i mean because otherwise nothing ever gets done no yeah but also this this guy was being personally useless like he he took my money

he he was a salesman and and to be honest a very sort of like like like quite a greasy salesman at that sort of going like explaining to me the virtue of having a 100 megabit fibre line, like, for 400 quid a fucking month. Like, going on about it, like, sort of, oh, well, you know me, I'm a big gamer, and I love to, like, relax and watch some 4K content. I'm going, I know what an interline is, and I know how slow things are.

Preach to the choir, then, mate, I'm an expert. But he gave me the hard sell. I bought his stinking product, and then he just didn't push it down. He didn't he gave me the hard sell. I bought his stinking product and then he just didn't push it down. He didn't actually deliver me the thing because he'd already had

the bloody thing signed. So, I don't know, man. And also, Pete, you are the kind of person... I was feeling very victimized. I bet. But I know, because I know you well,

that I can get you to do pretty much anything. Do you know what I mean? And that's the thing. You're probably a salesman's dream is what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very suggestible. Yeah, because you said to me before, didn't you, that if you went you're probably a salesman's dream is what i'm talking about oh yeah yeah i'm very suggestible yeah yeah because you said to me before didn't you that you know you would

if you went to get a haircut and it turned out it was 200 quid you would just pay it yeah yeah i would yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't embark at that now no um mate just to change the subject ever so um slightly because we i mean this is a story i found online because i don't know if i've ever seen more luke and pete show listeners share the same story with me or us i don't know if you've seen it but it's the story about this metal monolith found in the utah desert have you seen this yeah it just appeared and then disappeared as of this morning has actually disappeared very very strange and for those who haven't seen it i mean you know essentially um there's some wildlife officials

uh from i think the bureau of land management in utah which i mean for the most part is desert right it's in the middle of nowhere these wildlife officials were counting sheep um in a i think in a helicopter or a plane just doing a general kind of animal counting exercise. I don't know how you get that job, by the way. That's absolute rock and roll stuff. In charge of a helicopter? Dangerous. What I liked about it, but were they looking at the sheep and then did they see the monolith and then go and land and then check out the monolith?

Or did they just tell someone else where it was and then they had to drive out? No, no, no. There's a few of them on this. As far as I know, there's a few of them on this helicopter. And the pilot said that the biologist with him was counting these big horn sheep. And he said, whoa, turn around, turn around. And I was like, what? And he said, look, there's a thing there.

We've got to go and look at it. And they flew in and landed. And it's this like 12-foot tall silver monolith, a little bit like a silver version of the monolith you get in 2001 Space Odyssey. And no one really knew why it was there. And then obviously everyone online started saying, oh, don't do anything to it because it might create,

it might be an alien structure or something given the year that we've had. And then as of this morning, it disappeared again. So let's talk, it might be an art installation. Very strange though. You'd think that as soon as they found the monolith, they would guard it. Yeah. It just looks like, it's like the sort of thing you see

in like Grand Theft Auto 5 where they go, oh, this is, if you visit this with 100 hit points and $5,000 in your pocket at midnight on September the 25th or something, a new special secret level appears. How do people find those things out though on games? They live alone. They live alone and have a lot of free time, I imagine.

But anyway, so this monolith, apparently people have said it resembles the work of a, sadly now, passed away artist called John McCracken. It's like an avant-garde installation, basically. I mean, look, there was a news story about it online which had the headline, Alien Visitors or Avant-Garde Installation? And I was like, it's probably more likely to be an avant-garde

art installation than Alien Visitors, isn't it? Let's make that absolutely clear. Yeah. I mean, is there an alien version of a New York artist, kind of outsider artist? Maybe it's an alien, it there as outsider art the ultimate outsider art you might say yeah because they're aliens speaking of art installations as well did you see that um someone stole part of a banksy the other day as well oh no how did they

do that they chisel it off so like there's a banksy installation where i think it's a old bike locked up to a lamppost and then the stencil art on the wall next to it it's an old bike locked up to a lamppost, and then the stencil art on the wall next to it, it's got a wheel missing or tyre missing, and the stencil art next to it is a girl hula hooping with the tyre. Oh, nice. I like that. Yeah, I think someone stole the back wheel or something. I mean, to be honest, I don't even really know if they –

did they even know they were doing that? Because to me, it doesn't even look like that part of the exhibition is the Banksy part. I just thought that – honestly, if I walked past it, I would have just thought the stencil art on the wall was the art, not the actual bike. Yeah, and also Banksy doesn't own that bike. So, you know, it's somebody who left their bike there.

Because you see that quite a lot. You see that quite a lot at the train stations where you'll see bikes attached to walls or whatever. But then their front wheel's always absolutely bent to fuck. What's happened there, do you reckon? Is it people trying to steal it? I think someone's just vanned or just kicked the shit out of the wheel. And then the person who owns the bike's come back and gone,

well, it's not fucking worth my admin carrying that home. Do you know what I mean? I can't walk it, can I? I can't ride it or walk it, so I'm going to have to carry the thing all the way home. I'm not doing that. It costs a couple of hundred quid. Disposable life we lead.

Sickening. Mate, by the way, I'm just going to say this because I'm looking at my hands now. My hands at the moment are almost completely yellow because our mutual friend, John, and his lovely wife recommended a recipe to me which you drink every morning

and it makes you feel really good. And it's fresh turmeric, root ginger, lemon zest, and hot water and a bit of honey, and you make a kind of tea out of it. That's a hot pret a manger,ia hot shot, isn't it? Yeah, it kind of is, but I think I would probably trust the freshness of the ingredients more. And also, you can do probably two weeks' worth of a pint of it every day for about three quid, whereas Pret, it costs you a lot of money.

And I don't have a Pret near me because I'm in West Norwood, aren't I? Anyway, so I did it for the first time this morning but i prepared it last night and i forgot to put gloves on and now the turmeric has stained my thing i've now got backy stained fingers i look like a kind of guy who's been rolling his own cigarettes for the last three decades yeah so i don't know how long it's gonna take for my fingers to go uh non-yellow but anyway apparently the turmeric and it's really good for your aches and pains or for your joints and there's a well-known anti-inflammatory so i'm gonna stick it out for a while and see how it makes me feel any interest in that for you um well i love a hot

shot so i i wouldn't mind having a crack at that myself is it is there anything that makes it more spicy than turmeric could i add like tabasco to it or something to give it a bit more kick already quite spicy and you're supposed to have it a bit more kick? Already quite spicy. And you're supposed to have it first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. Yeah. Don't you really want Tabasco? Your stomach's already fucked. Yeah, but our mutual friend John, because he's got young kids, he's always got eye infections and stuff. I wouldn't trust him.

Think about the eye infections he would have if he didn't use this. That's the way I see it. He'd have more eye infections and he's got eyes so it could work really well you just don't know the perspective man yeah good point good point um all right should we take a short break i realized that last week i just did barely any emails unfortunately and i apologize for that so yeah we've got a few good ones so yeah let's get cracking with that lovely and we And we're back. It's the Luke and Pete Show.

I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Luke Moore, back in a Luke and Pete kind of style. And if you want to get to the show, as always, hello at lukenpeetshow.com is our email address. My heart sings when I open the Luke and Pete email receptacle and find some emails among the ridiculous amount of spam

that we get. Yeah. I appreciate that. You start doing some unsubscribing mate i think i do loads and it's just it just it just seems to get worse it's like self like reciprocating kind of just kind of just doubles up every time i click no more please yeah um by the way before we get into the emails my friend duncan um who does a bit of stuff for stakhanov actually good lad really good friend of mine he because he's a really thoughtful friend he'sakhanov actually, good lad, really good friend of mine, because he's a really thoughtful friend. He's one of those people who's just a really good friend, and I know that people

don't go out of their way to not be good friends, but some people just aren't amazingly thoughtful, even though they don't mean to be. But Duncan is really thoughtful. I thought about sending you a pie last week. Oh, thanks. Well, it's a thought that counts. It doesn't though, does it? I didn't send you a pie. I didn't send you a... I thought I'll get one of those... Is it sweet? No, pumpkin pies. Oh, thanks. Well, it's a thought that counts. It doesn't, though. I didn't send you a pie.

I didn't send you a... I thought I'll get one of those... Is it sweet? No, pumpkin pies. Oh, yeah. Because you're going to be missing out on Thanksgiving. And I actually went and googled where I could buy one of those pies. But it was like three weeks before Thanksgiving, so nobody was really selling them.

And then I must admit, it just worked on top of me. So maybe one day I will send you a pie. so on the other end of the friendship scale is duncan no and basically i just got so anyone who knows me a little bit knows that i'm i'm a huge fan as i'm sure many of our listeners are of the moleskin notebook and i've got i'm looking at my desk now i've got four different types of moleskin notebook in my uh at my desk for different reasons for different things my day-to-day moleskin is is like my bible if i don't if i lose that i'm in big trouble anyway i won't lose it anyway through the post sent from my good friend duncan was a limited edition i've just got in

front of me now um legend of Zelda Moleskine, right? It's got all the different 8-bit kind of symbols and logos and everything throughout. And so in the front of a Moleskine, you have this thing where it says, in case of loss, please return to, and you put your name in, you put the reward that you're going to put in. But the reward is in rupees, not in pounds in this one. It's a great little thing. And it's got a load of little, not in pounds in this one. It's a great little thing.

And it's got a load of little embossed logos on the front. It's got the Master Sword. It's amazing. So for those who are fans of notepads and 8-bit video games, that is an amazing present. And I'd like to thank him publicly for it.

That's fantastic. What a kind thing to do. Sorry, I'm just letting my cat into the room. He's a bit of a pain in the arse go on then get up there then he only wants to come in because I think he hears me

talking into the microphone thinks there's a conversation going on he wants to be a part of it right he wants to get involved yeah so you might hear him in the background

meowing I'm sorry about that that's actually quite sweet I was up at 5 o'clock this morning looking after one of the dogs I have access to

the aforementioned dogs I have access to famous disclaimer aforementioned dogs I have access to. Famous disclaimer. That had terrible diarrhea. Oh, really? But I can't leave the door open because burglary. But I can sit with the door open if I sleep on the couch. Oh, you're joking. So you've got to put yourself through that all night?

If I'm a little more unfocused, as I usually am, then I usually am, that's why. But can you not, so Peter, can you not, so for our cats, for example, they go outside, so they've got a cat flap and... Stop scratching, fucking hell. Right, they've got a cat flap and it's synced up to their microchip in their neck.

I've told you guys about this before. And so only they can get in and out of it. And they know instinctively to go outside if they need to go to the toilet, they dig a hole, they go to the toilet, they bury it again and they're done. Can a dog, could you not get like a litter tray for a dog or something?

Yeah, well, I mean, the dog frequently bombs up even if he's had his stomach medicine. But yeah, so he'll sometimes do it at the front door when he can't get outside. No, you've just got to get up. I can't make any modifications to the house because it's at a rental. So you've been up all night then, basically?

I've been up all night with the kids. Been up all night with the kids! Oh, dear. And the other one's got kennel cough, which is apparently a thing. Coronavirus for dogs. Part of the kennel cough, the multifaceted kennel cough collection. I'm pleased we're recording remotely today in light of all this news

because you might stink of dog shit and give me coronavirus. Good point. Doggy coronavirus at that. We've got an email from Jack, Jack Baylor. Thank you, Jack, for getting in touch. He sent this 17 hours ago,

so fresh off the email haul. First-time email of a long-time listener of many of the Stakhanov collection. I've been furloughed in the past few weeks, so I've used a fair amount of my spare time being a bit of a history nerd and came across an event I hope you will find as interesting as I did, the Pied Piper of Saipan. Guy Gabaldon was an American of Mexican descent who, at 12 years old, moved in with the Nakano family,

a Japanese family living in Los Angeles. He began to learn the language and customs by, and in 1943, age 17, he joined the U.S. Marine Corps. Within a year, his division was sent to the invasion of Saipan. For extra content, by this stage, the Japanese soldiers were seldom surrendering to U.S. forces with propaganda portraying the U.S. as savages who would torture, maim, and kill.

They would fight to the death rather than surrender. This also had the effect of civilians committing suicide rather than accept U.S. forces taking over their homes. On his first night in Saipan, Gabaldon abandoned his night patrol, disappeared into the forest, and returned with two Japanese soldiers after having used his basic grasp of their language

to persuade them of his good intentions. Instead of receiving praise, his commanding officer reprimanded him, threatening him with a court-martial. Unfazed, he did the same thing the following night, this time returning with 50 Japanese soldiers and civilians. He was now enabled to go about his role, and in both Saipan and Tinian, managed to persuade almost 2,000 soldiers and civilians to surrender rather than fight to the death saving both their lives and many of his

American colleagues in spite of the risks he faced he was awarded the silver star medal for this and the moniker the Pied Piper of Saipan wow that's an amazing story he just fucks off into you know into the forests comes back with the people they're trying to kill it's insanity pete i can imagine you at some point in our life in the future volunteering to go and use some backstreet japanese to sort something out and things going rather or rye as long as uh the mission is to get a beer or order chicken. You'd be fine. A chicken ramen. As long as that question involves me ordering some kind of pork broth product.

And we'll be drinking chicken beer all night. What a story. What a man. Thanks for sending that in. I've got a little update here. So we got an email from from a guy called carlos at pod status.com um so i think i saw this there's a few different um there's a few for those who care enough hang on a second my cat just jumped up get down fucking hell get down get down and

get funky cat two sec uh sec. Luke Moore is... See, this is what happens when we have Luke on the show. Last week we had Mark and Chris from Reborn Japan and they have minimal amounts of cats. Minimal. I've only got two. It doesn't seem like that many. Anyway, so for those of you out there

who wouldn't be knowledgeable about this, because why would you? There are several people out there are several people out there or several organizations out there that claim to monitor the ranking of how popular certain podcasts podcasts are and the apple podcast chart is kind of a little bit opaque and no one really knows how it works and it's certainly not the biggest shows because i guess that they think that would be boring so they they kind of do it on things like ratings and new subscribers and that 24-hour period and all these things.

That's why whenever you release a new show, it always goes to the top of the charts and everyone gets very excited. Don't give away the secrets. That seems to be the... I'm just saying. When other podcasts say, oh, look, we're at the top of the charts, you're going, you won't be there for very long. Unless you're very, very popular.

We've been doing this 13 years. Anyway, so podstatus.com is where Carlos has emailed us from. And look, I don't want to be unfair to Carlos. I don't know him. I'm sure he's doing a very good job and he's prideful about his work and everything, but I think this is probably bollocks. But we had an email to the Luke and Pete show email inbox, and in the comedy charts, the Luke and Pete show is currently 23rd in Iceland,

31st in Macau, 34th in Jordan, 40th in Indonesia, and 46th in Hong Kong. And I just found that fascinating as to why those countries in particular would be digging the Luke and the Pete. Yeah, I'm starting to think their English language provision probably very, very small. I'm delighted about Iceland. I'm delighted about Macau, the place I'd quite like to go. I would be delighted about Macau, but I don't really know what it is.

It's just a big casino, I think. Great, count me in. It's where the Chinese casino, I think. Great. Count me in. It's where the Chinese go to gamble, I think. Is it where they're at the start of one of the recent Bond movies was set? Probably. Anyway, that's good, right? It's good stuff. Yeah, it's good stuff.

You do sort of think, right, what are those figures, actually, though? He might be 10th. Could that be three? Could that be three people? Could that possibly be three people Mr. Pont Could that just be you on a VPN? Oh I've been accessing the Pirate Bay recently to watch the TV show

I'm not going to get into it What are you doing? I'm going to get in trouble but it's really hard to get into the Pirate Bay so I downloaded a Tor browser which obviously is a... get into the Pirate Bay, so I downloaded a Tor browser, which obviously is a... I thought the Pirate Bay was something that some Swedish guy got sent down for, like, years ago. Yeah, but then loads of mirrors.

You can't kill peer-to-peer. You can't kill it. You're just lopping off a branch here or there. So is it like LimeWire or Morpheus? Is that what it is? It's peer-to-peer torrenting, so kind of similar. But, yeah, you're just taking chunks of information from different people around you.

So you were looking at it for research purposes, right? I was looking at it for research purposes. I went on there via a Tor browser, which is obviously what people use to access the dark web that obfuscates your actions, so to speak. Not wholly, but, you know, if someone wants to find you, they'll find you. So just a little tip there.

So I got sent down. I've got a little tip for you. Owning a revolver. If you don't want anyone to know exactly what you've been doing on the internet, a little tip for everyone out there listening. Full proof this. Just go into Chrome. Incognito mode.

Incognito mode, yeah i saw that i for one definitely trust our cousins at google to uh to not give over any information about that so you're safe as and also don't forget also incognito is only ever used for people who want to buy a lovely present for their wife as a surprise and don't want them to find out correct it's nothing to do with porn all right then um i think this is the end of the show we got we got to chip off if only to say it to our feline friends uh this has been the lucan peach show if you want to get to the show hello at lucanpeachshow.com is the way to do it anything else luke no i think what i would say is that you promised to do a lot of emails today

we've run out of time as normal but we will get through a load of them on thursday we'll make a special note to do it. And so don't be downhearted if your email wasn't read out today. We'll read it out on Thursday. And also, very, very quickly,

I mentioned earlier about the Apple charts. Why not go over to Apple and find the Luke and Pete show and leave us a five-star review? It'll take you a few minutes maximum while you're on the train,

on the way to work, or whatever it is you're doing. We'd really appreciate it. And yeah, we'll see you on thursday yeah see you in a bit this was a stakhanov production and part of the acos creative network