The Luke and Pete Show - Alpha, Beta, Cocker

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

Pete’s been to see Pulp live recently and Luke is predictably displeased by his co-host's behaviour. It’s not stopping Pete from going to see them again though.Elsewhere, Luke has come to realise that this fatherhood thing is actually quite difficult. We also get an update from the listener that was standing to be elected for the Danish parliament.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No invention can ever make it possible for a wheelie chair to wheel over a cable. Yeah, what you need is a little, you know those chocks you put underneath the wheel of a small plane? A getaway plane. You need one of those to sort of ramp yourself over it. Yeah, nothing's ever been invented despite all the AI technology we've got now that can imagine a wheelie chair being able to successfully roll over a cable

with no incident. No incident. And in many ways, that's a great lever there for this civilisation. Exactly. We're very much like Daleks being unable to climb or uh descend stairs this is the luke and peter i am pete donaldson i'm starting the show luke i'm not having this

preamble i'm not wasting very you know valuable dog walking time uh the dogs the dogs are at the window looking at me going when you finish i've just started you yeah little doggy mouth shut because because this hour or so we record today will be an hour that I get to not deal with a screaming actually no it's not true actually because I'm working with you I'm just going to start screaming it's the measure of

how high I hold you in esteem given that you have willingly chosen to spend an evening watching pulp at a venue not that convenient for you uh and i'm still talking to you right okay i mean we've heard all about which is my how was it you've uh we've heard all about your anti-cocker agenda i don't understand it i don't respect it um and i wish it would stop but because he's a slug

he's an absolute slug he was magnificent on Saturday night it was the Finsbury Park I don't know what you call them sessions festivals

I don't know it was oh I thought it was British Summer Time but it wasn't no no no it was in Finsbury Park so many of these bastards

these days I know yeah and none of them get it right it's either too quiet because of locals getting upset or the toilets don't work or the weather's too hot so everybody sacks off their five pound an hour minimum wage job to to go and enjoy the sunshine as well they should and so uh you can't get a beer

for love no money but uh yeah we went to see pulp on the weekend it was a i think idols were playing the night before uh and it was pulp uh headlining the festival uh on saturday uh and wet leg were on as well who i'm i'm kind of set against because um i've seen them um interview poorly uh and you know and you know how i feel about that sort of thing exactly i respect the skill um they're just being very very very rude and silly and from the isle of wight again i'm against people from the Isle of Wight and I don't know why but I would say that Wet Leg sound like

a band from the noughties they sound like who did Nanny Boo Boo that song don't know Nanny Boo Boo when I saw you last loads of our conversation was just you screaming part of a chorus at me and saying, who did this?

Who did this? Who did this? It was La Tigra who did Nanny Boo Boo. They sound like La Tigra, but they're getting away with being Grammy nominated, possibly Grammy winning acts, even though they sound like La Tigra. And I'm not having it.

La Tigra should be winning those Grammys. God damn it, Luke. If you want to know why I don't like Pulse, I mean, can't tell you right okay why because he's affected affected beta male nonsense beta male i mean i do appreciate you know that you know i myself come from greece and have a thirst for knowledge but i don't i don't like the affected nature of what cocker does everything seems to be a performance i can act i reckon he's a right old dickhead in real life.

Yeah, but I mean, most of the bands that you like, they are even more problematic dickheads, aren't they? But they're alphas, so you respect their craft. There's an honesty to it. There's an honesty to Slash playing his guitar looking like a big sack of potatoes on the end of a stage in the Glastonbury Sunshine. I thought you were going to say a big sack of potatoes on the end of a stick then,

which would have been quite nice. No, look, I think that's fair. I think, you know, but the difference between Slash and Jarvis, well, I mean, they can't get into the how long, that'll take a long time, wouldn't it?

But Slash is quite brazen with all the things he's done. Right, okay, yeah. I don't reckon there's any skeletons in Slash's closet because he wrote about it in his book and people still like him. Yeah, true. I don't think anyone steps up to watch Slash's closet because he wrote about it in his book and people still like him. I don't think anyone steps up to watch Axl Rose and Slash

and not doesn't know the type of people they're dealing with. Yeah, I mean, I think if you watched Axl Rose and Slash doing their thing and in the middle of the set suddenly went, uh, that would be a weird reaction to have because the price of admission to a rock and roll concert is sort of going, ugh, these men are disgusting. One of the reviews of Guns N' Roses

gave them four out of five instead of five out of five at Glastonbury because Axl Rose was too nice. Oh, right. Yeah, he didn't leave them. It was Lana Del Rey who was like an hour late, wasn't she? Yeah, she was doing the rock and roll thing. There's just something.

I can't put my finger on it necessarily. It's probably irrational. I don't like pulp. I don't like people who like pulp. I don't like people who associate with people who like pulp. Okay. It's just weird. They're pretty inoffensive.

How would you feel if I was a big Blur fan? How would you feel if I was a Blur? We'll have to do a listening session where we listen through the entire I'd feel the same. I'd feel the same. I don't like Blur either. Right. So I feel about Blur the same way that you

feel about pulp. Let's not even get onto it. When you look at Albarn and think, what the fuck is this guy playing at? That's what I think of when I think of Cocker. It's not the same as Oasis. Here's the thing for you.

Here's the thing. I don't think I've talked about this before. One of the things that's interesting and wrong, like objectively wrong, is that the retrospectives of like nine the mid to late 90s you know of you know oasis versus blur versus pulp and the rest of it it's completely confected it's completely manufactured yeah there is no way on earth that either blur or pulp are in the same category in terms of popularity and impact as oasis were that's just a fact if you look at

record sales you look at everything else it's not anywhere near the same there was that one there was that one period where they had rolled it versus country house that big who was going to get to number one the brit pop wars thing for one summer in like 1995 or 96 whatever it was 96 maybe um and that's been extrapolated out to be oh people arriving oasis were a blur fan it's nonsense. Oasis sold millions more records than Blur and Pop put together by miles. The impact, if you go back and look at the Britpop sales, Oasis are in a league of their own.

If there was a Mount Rushmore of Britpop artists, it would just be Noel and Liam Gallagher. Now, it doesn't mean to say they're kind of creatively or... So hang on, you would do two Noel Gallagher's and two Liam Gallagher's for the Mount Rushmore. There's room for one extra one. I've only done... Who's the extra one? Bonehead.

Probably Bonehead. He already looks a bit like the top of a mountain. Yeah, he could be whittled onto there, no problem. I don't think you whittle stone, though, do you? No, I don't. Whittle wood, I think. Whittle has to be circular, I think. Does it?

You whittle, it's a round thing, isn't it? It has to be cylindrical to wh. Does it? You whittle, it's a round thing. It has to be cylindrical to whittle. People like different things. It's fine. They do, yeah. But I think it's morally reprehensible that you choose to go to a field and watch Polk. They were fucking brilliant.

Great. How long did they play for? They played for... It was only like an hour and a half. It was quite short, really. That's why I am genuinely, genuinely considering going to see them at the Apollo. Oh my goodness me. Well, you just sort of think like, what, like...

Hair of a dog that bit you. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, they were, see where they were on. I mean, look, you cannot, you can't, like the song, the level of song is just so damn high. I Spy, Disco 2000, Miss Shapes, Something Changed, Pink Glove. That first five. The rent is too damn high.

That first five. Absolute bangers. And then they came back. So they finished with a couple of tracks from the album I Don't Like, which is We Love Life. And to be honest, when I was singing This Is Hardcore, which is, of course, from the album This Is Hardcore, I realised that a lot of the people who were singing along to his and hers and a couple of the older tracks,

their interest in Pulp very much stopped at This Is Hardcore because I was the only one singing the lyrics to This Is Hardcore. Maybe they didn't want to sing it because it's a bit dirty, but I was singing like you wouldn't believe. That is kind of interesting because that is a show, presumably, where people have gone because they know Pulp's headlines.

It's not a glassy thing where you go along and you see the different bands you like and you check out some other bands and so the audience can be a bit indifferent. This is a dedicated Pulp show, right? Yeah, I would say so, yeah. Okay, because we had that conversation last week,

didn't we, roughly, about the Altip Monkeys and stuff like that yeah about how you know play the hits you're fucking wankers that kind of thing so people were saying that with pulp up to a point whether because you are you are on record and we've got a load of emails following up on this we'll come on to at some point they're saying that pulp have got however many albums they've got in a row i can't remember which ones you're talking about but i think i said i think i said three three bangers um they're there i think the third album was his and hers official that's their fourth isn't it this is his and hers

different class and this is hardcore their fourth fifth and sixth yeah yeah so yeah so yeah yeah so that's uh that's the run of three that i really not even pop's own fans are saying that this is hardcore is any good turns out a lot of the people who are in that field weren't this is hardcore fans i was really surprised really but they finished with like they they had they had an encore and like their whole thing is you know the big refrain from uh this is hardcore is about what exactly do you do for an encore dirty boy um and and they so a lot of like the branding pre kind of like show is, this is what we do for an encore. This is the show that we do for an encore.

And then they did an encore, and it was one song, and it was Razzmatazz, which is one of their first singles. But it's not a well-known song in the grand scheme of Disco 2000 and Common People. So good on them. I enjoyed it, but no other fucker else did. Does people still get busy for common people? I don't know, man.

Yeah, I mean, that was the banger, wasn't it? Disco 2000 and common people. There were quite a lot of people who just came along because it's, you know, wet legger on or it's just something to do and they really like queues for War My Pier. But yeah, I did kind of get that vibe. By the way, I never considered...

See, this is the thing, Donaldson. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way. Your insight into life is so valuable to me because you think about things completely differently in a way that I would never think of it. So when you said earlier that, oh, the queues for bars at places like that are so long because people who are on minimum wage,

zero hours contracts can't be fucked to turn up for work when it's a nice evening. That's obviously true, isn't it? I never thought about that. I just thought it was just fucking crap organisation. Yeah, you would just be like, why, I'll just get another job next week because they literally need people

who work for that amount of money. So it's just all bullshit, isn't it? That's how we work in here, isn't it? That's how we work in here. But so I went to, I remember once years and years ago, probably on the cusp of when festivals became super popular and then now they're everywhere i mean it's basically every weekend though isn't it and i remember field day being one of the first big ones in london right but the one out

of east london field i don't know it's still going and i went to the very first iteration of that um i can't remember what year it was now but um it was absolutely abysmally organized right to the point of where um where you could i think it was probably 2007 just looking here it's a 2007 right um it was yeah it was at the same place as that now but the it was so poorly organised that you could hear different bands at the same time. Right, okay. So you're standing not even that far near the back at one of the stages, and you could hear the other stage pretty easily.

And the queue, and it was honestly an hour minimum for a beer. Yeah. But the thing about that is, that festival's like, presumably still going strong right I think Field Day's still going yeah so you don't even need to be good at it

but it was I think there was a bit of is Kendall Connell still going there was a good period in time when I think Global went mad and bought a few festivals and then shit canned them because they weren't making any money,

which seems like a weird business thing to do, really, because there was a bit of a cut. Certainly, obviously, during COVID, a load of festivals went to the wall, but even before then, I think there was these really, really popular festivals that just couldn't turn a profit. It's really, you've got, so that's why you have limited facilities and you just have like, oh, well, you know, we'll just give them the bare minimum

and send them on their way. But the only people who won would presumably be the artists in that equation. What type of festival goer are you? What do you mean? Like as in, if I was going to go to... I've not been to a festival with you. I've been at festivals when you've also been there

and we've bumped into each other, but I've not been to a festival with you. I've been at festivals when you've also been there and we've bumped into each other, but I've not attended with you. And I think you are definitely the kind of festival goer that goes hard really early and then really just kind of forces their way through the final day or so. I think the last time I went to a festival, which is a good, like a proper festival,

a good long while ago, I had a strict no drink before 6 p.m policy uh which meant that you actually spend a lot of your time feeling a bit miserable and cold and you're like why am i doing this and then as soon as i realized that you could drink at three o'clock and you know sit through it a soaking wet bright eyes um uh set um and things just get better i think oh this think you don't apply that policy to your everyday life as I've gotten older I will indulge

earlier and earlier in the day which means by about 9 o'clock in the evening my antacid levels I'm taking 3 tablets which you're only allowed to take 1 per 24 hours it's like when they could never when the press department for Rudy Giuliani when he was mayor of New York,

couldn't let him do any press appearances beyond like 3 p.m. Because they'd spend the rest of the week mopping up what's going on. Honestly, I just do not, I just don't know how people can be functioning. It's exhausting. Well, first of all. I cannot, like, this is me, stone cold sober, firing on all of my cylinders. And this is how slow and confused and befuddled I am. But isn't it shaky ground you're on there though?

Because obviously like full blown alcoholism is accepted to be a kind of disease and a condition and stuff. If it's all about people who just like a beer, and I appreciate that it's a grey area, isn't it? I don't see how people I've got mates who are you know who are reasonably successful in what they do

not you wouldn't at all call them alcoholics or whatever who just love to get pissed and they don't see anything wrong with like

they can easily do two free nights on the piss I'm absolutely fucked after one I can't do and that's even before

my son was born I haven't even tried since my son was born. So God knows. Oh, that's going to be the thing, isn't it? The real baptism of fire is going to be you on a hangover looking after a Ben. Oh, Lord. I probably won't do it. Yeah, it would take something very special.

Well, there will come a situation where I'll have to do it. But here's the thing. Yesterday, I went out for lunch, right? And I thought, I'm going to have a nice lunch. Baby was asleep. It was a nice day. Walked to the local

pub. Not far, a 10-minute walk. Had lunch. The wife I have access to in the IY, the baby slept. And I thought, this is a really nice day out here, this food's really lovely, I really would fancy a beer, right? But I realised, after a big meal at lunchtime and a beer, and given the fact I've got to look after a baby all afternoon, all I want to do is doze off.

Have a little nap, yeah. And obviously, if he was to sleep in his basket for a bit, you could do that. But if he doesn't want to sleep, it's just hell. Because you're just trying not to fall asleep because you can't fall asleep when you're looking after him. So you just end up just abstaining from it. You just don't bother. Give him a little beer. A little baby beer.

That's what my dad, my dad apparently used to give me a little thumb full of Guinness. Yes. Lovely stuff. And that's what annoys me when you have to go through all this stuff when you come to looking after a baby in 2023. NCT classes, endless advice from midwives. It's all good stuff and it's really appreciated. But I know that in the 80s, no one was doing any of this. No, and it's just kind of like the stuff

that is expected of you as a parent financially. The enrichment of a child's weekend. Like, we... My dad pissed... We're not doing that. My dad pissed for the Navy Club putting me and my sister on the crossbar

and riding us to my nan's on a main road that was the entertainment for us our legs dangling in the spokes that was the excitement

for us I actually saw a real 80s throwback as well on the way back speaking of that I saw a bloke riding a line bike again

nice to hear it mentioned with a kid about four daughter who's about four years old in the basket he's just sat in there with his helmet on yeah i remember that we used to have like feet oh my god so which was her feet kind of like or she was sitting her bum in the basket so to speak with her feet out oh that's adorable and if you're listening to this imagining a beautiful bucolic country scene this was down the main road in west norwood i remember basket so to speak with their feet out oh that's adorable and if you're listening to this imagining a beautiful bucolic country scene this was down the main road in west norwood i remember i remember kind of having my feet like yeah i remember sitting in a basket what would that have been

whose bike would have that been we're going we're going somewhere we don't need to be going who was the man who was the man who had me in his basket? Yeah. I can imagine you at the age of about eight sat in a basket in front of a bike, legs dangling out the front, pair of scuffed trainers on, a well-thumbed copy of Escort

on the way to the park to play a bit of footy with Michael Brown. Michael Brown, the footballer who used to turn up in town every now and again. Yeah, no, it was,

yeah, exactly like that. So you're right, aren't you? Because like, because parents, when we were kids, like I did not, there was not like an implicit social contract

that my parents would have to entertain me for the weekend. No, it was cartoons, your nans. They were the two places you could go. Now,

I took my nieces to the bounce house or whatever the fuck it is, the trampoline place down the road. Great name for it. Well, the took my nieces to the bounce house or whatever the fuck it is, the trampoline place down the road. Great thing for it. Well, the thing about like Essex,

the thing about like anywhere outside of London, there's a lot of room to have, everyone's got like a little old factory that they've turned into something

like a trampoline house or a, you know, an illegal aquarium or something. I don't know what you really have. Legal aquarium, part-time seafood shack. yeah and it's like 80 and it's like 80 quid for like two quid two kids to have a bounce around for a bit it's just so expensive so expensive to have kids

these days crazy i am when i went to my niece's seventh birthday party last year it was just just completely unprepared for one, how loud it was, and two, how much of a germ factory it was. Got COVID. Just got COVID. Immediately got COVID. Just instantly got COVID the moment I walked in. It's good stuff.

And my sister was saying it was well expensive. Because I think the problem is now, like, back in the day, a kid's party like that that they'd have like 10 people i don't have a party at mcdonald's when i was a kid right i think i was allowed to have like six people there yeah right now and the parents would just drop them off and that was it go come back at four or whatever now every single kid in the class goes and every single parent stays right oh so you so i thought i thought there's a hundred people there. I thought it was like free childcare.

You just drop them off and then you fuck off and, you know, it's kind of like the contract between different people who have parties. Like, you sort of go, well, I'll drop them off and...

It should be that. Yeah, it should be. I think people are frightened to leave their kids alone now, though. That's what I mean. I do worry that it's never been harder to be a parent now. Even, like, if we did it 20 years ago, it would have been easier.

Oh, I'm making it look very hard, so you might be biased there, just by how tired I am. I've got that to look forward to. Our baby's only seven weeks old. Anyway, Peter, let's have a break. I'm pleased that you had a nice time at Pult. Did you get drunk? Yeah, pretty much.

We ended up in the Indie Sleaze official Instagram Indie Night at the garage we stayed for about three songs and then left I saw you I also saw you

randomly pop up on Joe McAteesh's birthday party Instagram oh yeah well that was after that was

after I set up the stand at the pod show I popped in for a quick drink, but yeah. Oh, right, because I was looking at... He had a birthday party or something, and I was just scrolling through it,

because I follow him on Instagram, and you just popped up on there. Hello, everyone. Yeah. Oh, hanging out with the editor of Time Out magazine. It's just pathetic. You know what's more fancy than that? Every single person that was at that party

was so fucking cool. Like, he knows so many... Like, not, like, well-known people necessarily, but, like, everyone was really cool. Like, everyone... Is that why you stood out

in the photo? Everyone looked like they had a fixie bike and a moustache and even the... Is that cool, though? I don't know. I don't know anymore.

That's the thing I don't know. It seems cool. They might be absolute losers. You're going to watch Pulp and then going to Indy Nights. Yeah. So are you the arbiter? I'm not losers to watch pulp and then go into indie nights yeah so you the arbiter i'm not saying i am i'm definitely not hey you the arbiter hey i i danced to the ricks and did you were you dancing i can't remember i just remember it was a rick song nice to hear though nice i wish there were more indie sleaze uh indie landfill uh noughties nights and as Rory said, why don't you make one?

I was going, because I do not command the amount of DJ fees that I used to when I was a radio DJ, so there's no point in doing it. No, but you could do a night. You could put a night on. If you build it, they will come. Yeah, in, where would I go? Chinneries in Southend.

Peter's Indie Sleaze Night. All the values to play there. Chinneries. Let's have a break. When we come back we've got to do batteries we didn't do them last week we've got to do them this week

Peter it's important it's not important It's the Luke and Pete Show we're back and we're doing battery brands if you found a battery

in your remote control for something sexy we want to hear from you we want to know Does it have to be something sexy though Pete? Well it depends on your

level of sexiness I suppose I find air conditioning quite sexy it's not something i've ever had before in the apology camera i've got a little bit of air con and it's quite useful in these yeah i've got air con in the living room now it's an absolute touch lovely stuff um was that a stipulation of your uh american wife because that's very much uh no it's my idea because she's she's mediterranean so she doesn't care how hot it gets. Right. But I felt like it was sensible

with the ban to have at least one room we could regulate the temperature of. Nice. Because they can't look after themselves very well when they're very small

and it's the middle of the summer and it worked out well. She's not that bothered. I mean, to be honest, half the time I walk into the living room and she's not even got it on. Is it a fixed unit

or is it one of those... It's like the one we've got in the studio lovely it's slightly more modern I fancy one of them anyway uh Jass has come in with uh hello looking Pete's uh this absolutely is cheating but these are readily available at least in certain parts of Texas but I'm counting on the ultra regionality of these heb howard. Butt. Double A batteries for a chance to slide onto the list. Love the pod. Thank you, Pete, for filling his car with piss, and keep it up. What does he mean, filling his car with piss?

Covering it in piss, rather than fill the car with piss. When did you do that? I don't remember that. Was it a show that you were... No, I remember. I covered it in AdBlue, didn't I? Oh, yeah. So, H-E okay so h e b a a so that's howard e but as pete says um they they are new players um but jazz hasn't doesn't seem to have

purchased them he's only taking a photo of them in the shop is that okay uh i think we uh we sort of stipulated that you had to be you had to have them is that not true? I'm fairly certain you had to have them in your possession and you can't take them

so Jazz what you need to do mate is you need to go and buy a packet of these and we'll let you in but call them a new player for now as long as you agree

to go and buy a pack of them after you've listened to this episode how about that? So the Hebb the grocery company LP, is named after Howard Butt. The youngest of three sons born to Charles Butt,

a pharmacist from Memphis, and Florence Thornton Butt. The family moved to the drier climate of Kerrville, Texas due to his father's tuberculosis. And his butt. It's just enjoyable. Everyone had tuberculosis in those days, didn't they? They did. It was the dumb thing.

It was like prime. And back in those days as well in the US, I feel like every single town had its own little kind of independent store. Yeah, but the independent store, they would have loads of different locations, even small little concerns,

little company concerns. There's a really nice piece in The Sopranos where it kind of charts, it's like a comment on the modernity of the United States at that time when a couple of the goons from Tony's crew go to the new shop that's opened up in town and start to try to shake the manager down for protection money. And they're both going to him, you know,

oh, well, it'd be a shame if anything happened to the storefront. And the guy's like, well, I mean, the head office would just replace it if you broke the window. Oh, yeah,

it'd be a shame if some of those coffee beans went missing. And the guy's like, yeah, every single coffee bean is a cat before head office so I mean and it's like

it's a real comment of how they can't just shake down the local kind of mum and pop store now because Starbucks is in town and realistically you're not going to get anywhere they can't believe it

they're gutted and they walk out so it shows you that's what America used to be like but not anymore that's a lovely little picture right on to the next one

hello little pizza I live in Japan this is Andrew from Gifu in Japan I strolled down to the local 7--eleven to find these beauties i present to you the seven premium lifestyle battery uh big fan of 7-eleven it's very much regarded by many as being the the british or american embassy uh the 7-elevens in japan simply because they're the only shops where you can actually use the atms effectively. All the rest of them don't fucking work. Yeah, I mean, it's not really the

British embassy, given that we don't have 7-Eleven in the UK. No, no, we really don't. I didn't know there were 7-Elevens in Japan. I thought it was an American thing. All over the place, there's four big brands. Sunkus, I think died a death. Family Mart, 7-Eleven,

and another one that I can't remember it's cool they've got British names it's kind of weird anyway very strange they are new players

congratulations to you Andrew 7 Premium Lifestyle is a brand new battery so we are two out of two today lovely stuff and finally for now

Soren Sloth great name Daily Max and Mignon is the entry, but here's the message anyway. Hi there, Luke and Pete. I wanted to give you an update on an earlier email.

In the fall, I wrote to you with a sledding story gone wrong, and at the time, I was campaigning to become what would perhaps have been the first Luke and Pete listener in the first international Danish parliament. Yes. And I may have cast aspersions on his political sensibilities. So did the voters, by the sound of it. Well, I didn't get elected, says Soren.

Sorry, yeah, Soren. But I did get a new job during the election as manager of a local game store, and thus a professional D&D dungeon master. The store had a very old and defunct air conditioning system. In fact, the bigger boys that I hired to replace it told me that it was probably older than me, and that the cooling agent used in it was now outlawed in the EU and had been for a long time.

Yes! Give us some of that Primo, you know, air con juice. Drink it. Drink it now. Just have a little drink. Just before they came to pick it up, I had an idea to check what batteries such an old remote could hide. Imagine my disappointment at finding Duracell Plus. However, I've not given up hope. In the remote for the new air conditioning, I found a set of DailyMacs.

Will these let me enter the hallowed halls of battery connoisseurs? Also, I found a set of alkaline batteria produced by Mignon in Germany in my electrical fly swatter at home. Best regards, Thorin Sloff. And great to hear that you have an electrical fly swatter. That's also what I have. And I... What is it?

It's a small high voltage, low wattage tennis racket that you whack flies with and it goes... and it kills them. That sounds brilliant because I can't use the fly spray anymore because of the baby. So maybe I'll get one. Get one. I'll get you one. I'll get you one.

I'll send you a fly swatter. That'd be fantastic news news what isn't fantastic news Sorin you're having a bit of a time of it because the voters have decided that you are quite literally unelectable

and Daily Max and Mignon neither are new players I'm afraid so we're only two out of three for this week which is still

a very good return I mean it's still not bad but Sorin you are not invited to the party on this occasion. But thank you very much for taking an interest and sending those in. The photo that Soren's included for the air conditioning remote control looks very old. Yeah, I'm just reading the background of the name Soren.

It's derived from the 4th century Christian saint Severin of Cologne and derived from the Latin Severus severe, strict or serious maybe if you renamed yourself a serious sloth that would be an electable name that's all I'm saying people wouldn't be expecting you to do anything quickly

would they? No I imagine as a D&D dungeon master it would be a long tale, it would be a long game. It would be a long game, wouldn't it? A long game is a good game. Before we go, a final mention from me

for Thames Water. Yes, rest in peace. Follow up on last week's episodes. The good news broken about that is that they can't even be fined now by OffWatt, the regulator, because they're in so much debt, it would just cause them to go out of business

and so no one would get their water. So basically, they've got themselves in a position where they are so shit, it's not possible to make them do anything better. There was a lovely TikTok that somebody did where a bloke was going, right, okay, what do you run? Oh, we run Tamswater.

He's going, all right, yeah, cool. So who are your major kind of like, who are the other companies you're going up against? You go, well, none really. It's a monopoly. And do people like buying water? It's like, I mean, yeah, I mean, they have to buy water. So everyone has to buy water.

Does everyone need water? Yeah, everyone needs water. Everyone who's alive needs water. And he goes, how's it all going? I mean, it must be like, if everybody needs water and everyone's alive needs water and and he goes uh how's it all going i mean it must be like if everybody needs water and everyone has to buy water and there's no other um companies doing it in that area you should be really successful now we're actually doing a big big bad job of it we're doing a really bad job you've turned a a customer base in london the great london area of like almost 20 million,

all, as you've said, who need water. 100%. 100% of the people need the water and you've managed to fuck it up. And they've got no choice.

They've got no choice. They have to pay. Into 14 billion pounds worth of debt and every river polluted. It's good stuff. It's a mixed record. It's a mixed record.

It is. It's the Luke and Pete show of companies. This has been the Luke and Pete show. It's why I record. It's a mixed record. It is. It's the Luke and Pete show of companies. This has been the Luke and Pete show. It's why I only drink squash. Content pipes bursting left, right and centre. If you'd like to get a taste of the show, it's really simple. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com.

We'll be piling through more of your emails on the next show, which will be on Monday. Say goodbye, Luke and Moa. Goodbye. Bye-bye. We'll be back on Monday. Look after yourselves. Go and see a 90s band

but don't drink the water but don't drink the water The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.