The Luke and Pete Show - Always Smell the Beef

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

Pete’s been to Paris and it’s making everyone very depressed, and not because of envy. The man is self-admittedly awful at booking things.On an equally cheery note, the guys discuss the limits of their animal-killing capacities, as well as those of train drivers. Also, worming a cat is no joke. Happy Monday everyone.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, we're spitting out the window of a range rover Where Peter and Locke on the look of Pitcho Nice! Yeah. Wasn't he expecting it? A Jeremy Carragher tribute in the style of a Scottish singer. Was it definitely a Ranger Rover? I think so.

Okay. I think so, yes. I can't slag off Jeremy Carragher because I know him to be a nice man. He's made a mistake and he's also in my... Is that a mistake? I think he lost his temper, didn't he? Lost his temper, didn't he? Yeah.

Yeah. But he's regularly in my Twitter DMs. So I can't... And he's nice. Go on. Nice guy. Just about to... Like a coiled spring.

Yeah. About to go. I don't know if he listens to the Lou Gehompeach. He definitely listens to the Ramble. I don't think he listens to the Lou Canepeach. He doesn't listen to the Ramble. He's uptight to the Ramble. Would you like to see...

Pete, I know how much you hate yourself anything you do. Right. Would you like to say, Jeremy Carrier, keep up the good work on the Ramble. Is that, is that okay? Yeah, but he was on the Ramble. You interviewed him.

It's like years ago. Doesn't mean that he listens to it. But I don't want you to... I'm just gut it because Zora Mandarie didn't get back to me. There we go. Well, I don't know, actually, because I've not logged into my account for a while. It's hard to maintain the energy as a broadcaster. When, A, I'm part-time translator to you.

And B, getting sucked my energy out of me by you because you think everything you do is shit. Well. Which I kind of agree with, but not the stuff I'm on as well. What's new? What's new? What's new? What's been up to happen to France? I come back.

You have been to France. I'm off to Barcelona next week. Yeah, flying to South End Airport at 7 o'clock in the morning. Someone was at my door, hang on, just the ring doorbell. Oh, have you got a little app? Can you see the little video screen? Got it in there for the, when did I get in there a while back? Because you know why?

You know what I got the ring doorbell in there? I was just undoing my car. You like this noise. Dumb, down, do you like that noise. It's just that what happened was on the street WhatsApp group, everyone was sharing videos of stuff that was happening. Right. And I was like, I want a bit of that action.

And now it's just annoying having to charge it all the time. Pay a subscription for it. The bloke who stabbed and killed the MP. The bloke who stabbed Sir David Amos MP. Well, I'd have remember his name. Walk down our street. Right. There's pictures of him everywhere in fact, I'm mad.

It's a very sad thing that happened. It was a very sad thing that happened. It was. And yeah, the bloke walked past our house. So the police asked for everyone in our road to submit their footage. Did you do it? No, because I didn't have a ring doorbell,

and I feel if I buy one now, it's after the Lord Mayor's show, really, isn't it? Insensitive, that. I'm not saying, I'm just saying that, like, the most important thing. There's not a Lord Mayor's show, is it? No. Bad example. Yeah. MP. I think it's insensitive.

Right, okay, fine. I'm just saying that it's kind of... Wait, do another reference instead. I'd like to apologise to... No, it's fine. People know I'm not good at this. There's no point now because it's after the tragic incident that occurred. That's from which is not like a newsreader.

I'm just saying that it's the most important thing. The most important thing. thing that the ring doorbell could have taken in was a man. Oh, so far? So far. Maybe there'll be more, I don't know. Some of the ring doorbell footage I saw after that bloke. Remember I told you the years ago?

It was one summer a few years ago. Giza drove way too fast down our road. Flip his car? Yeah. I flip you. Some of the imagery on the old ring doorbells are that. Very pleasing. Very pleasing.

No one was hurt. It's just such a wide... Oh, giving it the big lick because no one died. Pathetic. the actual aperture. It seems to have a very wide lens. It really is quite wide. Yeah, that's good.

It's almost a fish eye. Yeah, it's almost a fish eye, yeah. And you know, I said this to you before, when you're moving house and you have photos taken of the interior of your home. Yeah. There's like limitations on how much of a lens you can use. Is there?

Is that legally? I think so. Really? I think it's like good practice. Good practice. Yeah, good practice. But then they always, they always make the sky absolutely kind of coral blue, don't they?

They do, exactly. They want people to imagine themselves, on the lovely, sunny day in a garden. I don't know. How are you feeling about the house? I don't really want to talk about it. All right. Just on the option.

Do you know why? He's overstretched himself. No, that's not true. Do you want to know why they want to talk about it? Because the other day... Only fans by Christmas. Yeah, that's possibly true. That's possible.

But not for that reason. The other day, I mentioned on a ramble episode, might be Monday, that had a friend called Ewan Murdoch. Right. Good friend of at school, but he moved away. He moved to Scotland. Moved to Thursday, in fact,

which is a very northern most tip of mainland Scotland you can go. Right. I think his dad was either in the Navy, potentially some kind of oil job, not sure. I mentioned his name because we had a mailbag person email in with the name Ewan, spelled that certain way. Right. And I just said, oh, yeah, I had a friend at school called Ewan.

Great guy. So it's spelled like Ewan Blair. Yes, EU-A-N. And this morning, I got a message from him. I had him for years. So I know my mate said that this happened and you did this and how are you getting on. So anything can get back to people.

Yeah. So that's why I'm not going to talk about the house move. I just think that... Give us the postcode for your childhood. No! I'm just saying... The postcode of my childhood home.

I just don't know any Ewans and I think you might be from more money than I think. He's Scottish. Yeah. Pete, I can show you my child home if you want. Shows me child at home for crying out of life. Shows your child at home.

It's not in any way salubrious. Right, okay, fine. This is my childhood home. That's literally there. That's my childhood home there. There, sorry, there. Okay, that's fair. That is fair.

Yeah. Do they do, the next door do have a loft conversion. Get you, I see it. To be that, you got a bit of parking, haven't you? Only because everyone's converted their front gardens. It wasn't like having ours there. They tried to do it with our house and the bloc apparently took, it didn't even get out the car and just went,

nope, and then you drove off. Really? I believe, I've read before, that's terrible for the environment, everyone doing that. What? Paving everything over, because there needs to be, there's no absorption of the water and the soil and that kind of style. Right.

It just puts a lot of pressure on the guttering. Oh, right, okay. Not the gutter. The sewage and stuff. I see. So anyway, the house move is going. You know what it's like to move house in this country? Just a lot of stuff.

A lot of hope to jump through. I have not over-extended myself. That is incorrect. Totally incorrect. It's more the admin than the money. Wanking for coins. Yeah, again, yes, but not for the house move. No, just like wanking for coins.

God forbid a man has a hobby. Wanking with coins or anything. I'm trying to find my child at home, but they've knocked. Even in the earliest Google Street View, July 20, 2009, they'd knocked it down. That's sad, isn't it? That is sad. Oh, so it's been knocked down entirely your house now? Entirely.

Like Fred and Rose West? Because of the crimes that have been committed. Because of the sea coal van going from the living room. Don't dig too. Well, that was half demolished, I suppose. They were like, we started early. They did it in increments. They were like, we cannot clean this amount of fluvia.

You must have been wanking yourself inside house. Inside out in that bedroom. We'd moved by the time wanking started. What year did you move? I think it was about 10. Okay. So the. new house and what year

specifically did the masturbation come in? I can't remember but it wasn't late and it wasn't particularly early so you can don't enjoy that. It was regular. It was regular. I was Stan, it was a because you vote famously for the, we've got a new producer today we should say producer Bruno. Yeah, hello to you.

He's not allowed to, he's not allowed. He'd be scribbling about that David Amos stuff. It's sitting in Grunno, don't worry about him, mate. He always stays in. I need to remind him. Very easy job this. Not remind him, but tell him because he probably doesn't already know that Pete as a young man slash teenager first ejaculated while playing the video game

hero quest. Correct. And so... Dwarf, wizard. Yeah. But you weren't masturbating then, then were you? It just happened. It was just a sudden uncomfortableness

that... Is it the video game or the board game? Video game. Yeah. Of the board game. It felt like I'd invented it. Do you know what I mean? I think it's kind of like...

It's completely new and you're like, this is... This is incredible. Was it because the sexy lady with the barbarian lady with the little beginning? Different game. That was Linda Lusardian. It's a different game. Oh no, that was...

What was that game then? That was barbarians. Barbarian. They had Wolf from Gladiators in it. Well, so there was no female character in Hero Quest. I don't think so. It was pre-everything everything starting to get correct. You can get away with all kinds of nonsense.

Golden Axe had a female, I think, and a dwarf. That's what you used to get. Fantasy stuff. Female, usually elf, big muscular man and dwarf. That's what you got. I've got it in front of me here. The historical fantasy character, not somebody with the dwarfism,

but that is also true. Yeah, barbarian, dwarf, elf and wizard. Yeah, always the same. Yeah, that is the same food groups, yeah. I might go back and play that on the bus. I might have even played hero quest with the aforementioned Ewan. Yeah, well, there you go.

Back in the day. You want to get your wee wizard out? Yeah. Fire a ball at him. I suppose he spoke a bit like that. One of my favourite memories of Ewan was that he was really into outdoorsy stuff. like ab-sailing, kayaking, and that kind of stuff.

Right, okay. And I'm not going to, he was a good friend of mine. Again, sounds like money. That's the weird thing. I think, but I think it was an era when you could have a job

in the Navy, your mom was a dinner lady and you could afford to buy your kids ab-sailing equipment. For the middle class was squeezed. Right. And we weren't, we weren't really middle-class.

I would have no embarrassment if we were, but we just genuinely weren't. Anyway, yeah, my friend... I'm talking about you-ewan's house, not your house now. I've seen the results.

He live in the next street. Anyway, can I get to the point? Because it's funny. One of my favourite memories of him is that we used to love going tree climbing in a place called Monks Walk in Gosport. Right. Well, I told you about Don Stuyler's assault course.

Yeah. There, right there. Yeah. You're too tall for tree climbing. Too heavy. I wasn't heavy then. We're tall. Which makes heaviness.

Slip of a lot then. I was a racing snake then. I don't worry about that. You're like a stick insect climbing up that tree. I was. People didn't even know I was there. I was camouflage. It was like predator.

Anyway, Ewan decided. want to try it as new abseiling gear, which is basically just some straps from carabinas. I mean, we're not talking about Alex Honnold here. Well, Famous doesn't use them, so it doesn't matter. Right, exactly. Anyway, he's a chalkman. We climbed to the top of this tree, right?

And he starts putting all these absaling gear on. Right. Because he wants to repel down the tree. Wow. Right? It's pretty special his stuff. We're at about 13. I mean, it must have been like 13.

For the abscerning, don't you need to be at the bottom holding and doing stuff? No memory of that. Right. What the memory is of, though, is him... I got brain damage. repelling down about a third of the way and still being about 20 feet in the air and just being stuck there.

Oh, right, just swinging. Yeah, and we had no idea. We weren't into Absalind. No. We didn't know what to do. We can't do anything. Why are you looking at us? He's hanging there for ages.

Right. And I just remember those straps where he digging into his legs, you know, dig into your leg. And I could actually remember just crushing his cock and balls. And I can't even remember how he got down. Fire Brigade?

Nah, wasn't that? We, we don't call nine-night. We are 999. Yeah. Probably end up just dragging him down or something. Yeah, but it was... Wild. So what I'm saying is you can't talk too much about stuff

because it gets back to people. Right, yes, I agree. So you saying that I'm struggling with my house move, but it's just not true. And I don't want to be flagged as potentially true. I think anyone buying a house at any point in their life, you have a good couple of years where you're like, what... That, where's all my money gone?

Oh, that's true. Yeah. That's true. God. Yeah. Anyway, you mentioned earlier that you've been to France. Yes. People who listen to the Rumble will know...

Well, people who listen to the Rambor will know that that's partly because of the new car... You went to go and see Newcast against PSG. Yeah. Was it quickly like an S-I-S job in and out, and that was it? Yeah, I didn't want it to be, because I think Paris is a fucking great city. To sit your love, isn't it?

Did you have anyone to have a love affair with? Not in Hotel Yami. What was the hotel I went to? Jardie or something. How much you pay for it? £45. I thought they'd ramp it up in one of the most expensive cities in the world for a football match. No, it was basically a hostel.

It was a jumped up hostel in Jari. It's Hotel Jari. A lot of chatting the reviews about bedbugs. I'm a little bit concerned. So we'll see how that one pans out. If anyone will get them, you will. Get them, yeah. The thing that perturred me.

Is your dog got fleas? Nah. But he does get regular flea. I'm pretty shit hot on the flea stuff. What's your flea treatment of choice? Because there's lots of options. the ones you get out of the counter now is shit so you need

you're not the ones you put in the you're going dark with right you gotta go to the veterinarian and say can I can I get the good stuff please I've treated my dog for fleas and now he won't wake up that's Valium that's bad he's having it's always sleep it's ketamine

so you do not give it do the collar the flea collar no they don't they've become I think it's a bit like antibiotics and children they've become quite resistant these naughty naughty fleas so you got to because you go to daycare now

so he hangs out with the other dog, so you've got to be careful. So where do you go then? Answer the question. I've got the vet. I go to pets, not pets at home. Vets. Vets at pets.

I can't remember. It's the, it's the London Road, South End Shockwell, fucking veterinarian. What can I access that you can't access? The really high shelf is. Giving some of the stuff behind the counter. And then how do you administer it?

Pop it in his mouth. In his eyes. Yeah. Pop it in his mouth. See, that's the thing. every flea. When you've got cats, I've got two cats, regular listeners will know. It doesn't go in his eye, it goes in the mouth. No, I know that. Yeah, I'm sorry. Joking. I, I, I, the two cats we've got, we do the one the back of the neck, which tends to

work. Some cats just don't get fleas. Like there's something that happens. Oh, nice. So one of my, weirdly enough, even though they're brothers, one of them never gets them. Yeah. And the other one's slightly more susceptible. But since they've stopped going out as much because they're old, it doesn't really happen now. But I was just going to say that if you get any kind of treatment for a cat, Like, for example, worming. Yeah. And you have to pop a pill in their mouth. I mean, good luck with that with a cat.

Yeah. Well, can you just hide it in a beef burger or something? Oh, they sniff it out, boy. They sniff it out. They eat around it. And so what I'm, what about us do in the past with Hercules, my big ginger tomcat, is I'm going full track suit, try and put him in a pillowcase, hold him,

and then you've got to squeeze the side of that. Have you seen it with cats, you squeam the side of their jaw and their mouth like. Open to it, right, yeah. But then... Like a pez dispenser. Yeah, basically, yeah. But the opposite, because it's going in. Right.

But even then, when you feel like you've done a successful job, they are particularly adept at just yacking them up. Right. So you can feel like you've done it. And the next morning you just find the pill. Nice. On the floor. Lovely.

So it's actually completely ineffective. So I just did a spot on the back of their neck now. But that's chemically, and you've got to apply that with gloves. And it's also you've got to be very careful when you've got a toddler in the house. Because he'll get it. Well, my son quite likes one of the cats. Right. And they hang out a bit.

And they'll lick it. Until he starts hissing at him. and then that's really knows the playtime's over. Yeah. Has he ever had a little scratch? He's had a poor. Mine's had a little... A poor, but not with the claws out.

Yeah. Just leave sonny long when he's sleeping. Yeah. The thing is he's sleeping all the time. But my toddler, with my son, I say to him, you can stroke him and you play with him, but don't touch his tail. But to my son, the tail's the best bit.

Yeah, it's a good point, actually. He's moving around. He flaps him in the face. He thinks it's funny. He's all about the tail. The sharp mouth, he doesn't like that. No, business end. He likes the tail.

Yeah, exactly. That's for fun. Yeah. So it's a bit of a minefield, really, how complicated we make our lives. Anyway, going back to the Parisian hotel, the reason I wanted to bring this up is because you shared a screenshot of a meal on your phone, which was billed as steak tartar. Right. And looked like some kind of orange paprika-style risotto.

And I feel like steak tartar shouldn't look like that. And I want to give you the chance to explain yourself. I mean, I think the, I think the egg has done me dirty there a little bit. I think the egg has made it very shiny and very yellowy. It's added more yellow to the picture, I think. Oh, so it's a particularly yokey egg? It's a particularly yorky egg. Again, the thing is, I'm trying to find a picture of the terrible hotel and also the,

I would say it does look like baby sick. I appreciate that. It does look like, actually, no dog sick. It's more, it's more like dog sick. I would, I would, I would, listen. I don't believe in being rude about people's food before they've eaten it. I think that's beyond the pale. Sometimes people do that and it's horrible.

But you've eaten that a long time ago now and it's not repeated on you. So I feel like I can say, that looks one of the most unappetitizing meals I've ever seen. And I include Ian Moose-Abram's tuna pasta bacon. It was fine. It was fine. It was a bit like I sort of brushed the egg off it so I could smell the beef just to double check.

And I think I was all right. That's your motto, isn't it? Always smell the beef. I always smell the beef closely. And then later on, about 1 o'clock of the morning, there was this Jamaican, sort of Caribbean sort of fast food place I've never seen before. And it just...

Turtle Bay. Not Turtle Bay. No, no. That's more sit down. That's more sit down. No, you had like a little McDonald's style. You could, um, little screen that you sort of order. And then you get your ticket. And, uh, and I had a delicious sort of chicken, sort of jerk chicken, sort of flayed.

You love the word flayed when it comes to food, don't it? Flayed. Flay. flared chicken. It reminds me of a medieval punishment. With some lovely sauce and extra plantain. And that was bloody delicious. But it was at 1 o'clock and it sits heavily on the old belly.

And you were with Clary, Adam Cleary and one other, were you? I was. Adam Cleary said something about a footballer that he didn't rate him. And this blog just turned around. I started having a real goal like he was going to have a fight. It was so weird. I mean, the guy was absolutely leathered. But, you know, Cleary Studders ground out.

I'm happy to report the Cleary Studders ground. Who was the kind of turbo nerd with you there? Turbo Nod. Sam, the journalist. He's massive as well. He's taller than you. Well, that only accentuates his nerds Donald.

Has he got a curvature of the spine, like me? He's on the true fifth podcast. I'm not aware of his work. I'm sure he's not, I love the, I love Taylor and Besty. I love all those North East and Shaps. He's one of your talk sport, lot. Good on him. I'm just saying.

He's done fighting talk as well. Maybe we're talking about a different person. Do you want to see my hotel? Yeah. Why is there everything you do so depressing? It's not good, is it? It's not good. 40 euros.

40 euros for a night in Paris. What price, your dignity, though? When in Paris. Why do you always choose... Maybe me eating all that awful food would stop the bedpugs eating me. Why do you always choose the most depressing place? No, just the most depressing choices.

Your lovely partner and child aside, who I've got nothing of good things to serve out. That's where I've got to spend the big bucks. I'm going to... My wife won't even get a job. I'm going to Moldova. Again, for some reason, you make it sound bleak. I'm going to Moldova and Translittoria pretty soon.

Who are you going with? The boys. The boys! The turbo nerds, Alex and Fingy? Turbo nerds? Mattie and Alex and Craig. And we'll go to Moldova and between us four people, Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday, three nights.

It's per night per person, 15 quid. Yeah, B&B. Absolutely cracking. People are going to think I'm being pompous here. In the end, they're all within their rights to think so. But I genuinely mean this. I would rather not go. I would rather spend the weekend with my family.

Well, the thing is, we're driving on the Friday to Transnitria where you cannot... Your health insurance doesn't work there. That'd be fine for you. Your family... Absolutely fine. You haven't used because it doesn't exist officially. It's a place that doesn't exist.

You can't get help with your... anyway because you literally can't breathe. That's asthma's a non-quantity for me. Do you have to declare it though? Yeah, you always declare it. Yeah, I was declare it. Put your premiums up? No, no, I don't know.

I've never not had it. True. I wouldn't know. Yeah, true. But I'm just saying that hotel room there in Paris, would you, if you were going away with the partner you have access to, you're not going to stay there, are you? No, no, she would never.

She would never. But would you, if you knew she didn't care, would you do it? Yeah, I would stay there, yeah, definitely. No, but what I'm saying is, if you're in charge of booking the hotel for your partner you've access to and you'd have a nice break, and you knew she wasn't bothered about hotels, would you book somewhere like that? The last time I booked anything for both of us, which was a restaurant down South End where all of you said that it smelled like sewage, so we changed it at the last minute. Because I'm bad at it. Yeah.

I'm bad at it. The way I have access to is actually pretty poor at booking hotels. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm probably the better of the two of us. Sarah's a ninja. I always thought to say Sarah, like, she posts quite a lot on Instagram. about, you know, where we're going and stuff. She always gets, like, loads of messages saying, where's that?

Where's that? And I was like, you should be getting comps at this point. You know what I mean? She's very vocal about what she's doing and stuff. She's giving free advertising for everyone. I mean, you are basically getting cops. The price points your book. Exactly.

I'm practically making money at 40 quid a night. Is it a direct flight to Moldova? Yeah. Very nice. But it's coming back on one of those kind of local concern airlines. You're like, I don't like that. I trust a whiz air, but that's my limit, I think. Well, go for a break.

Before we do, I just want to make a quick point. You are the one person I know that it's genuinely quite hard to know how you're going to die because it could be anything. Yeah, it's it. Yeah, I guess so. Some kind of gastric disease. Stop breathing. Could get kidnapped by the Russians.

Kidnap by the Russians. Right on the border. Yeah. The Ukraine. Plain crash. Could be that. Hit by a train. Pissed.

No, I think... That was a bit of a classic back in the day, by the way. Like the 50s in the US. kind of thing. What, people would be pissed and get hit by a train? Yeah,

yeah. Train drivers get a lot of, like they get bad times. Like, it's, I think most train drivers don't make it, like at some point,

witness or after. Your mate's a train driver, what does he say? Plutio. He was telling us about the, um, he was talking about the, um,

the, what you're meant to do if you see someone on the track, you're meant to, all right. Can air break it, head down,

don't look out. And you have no legal responsibility to help anyone who's been hit by a train. It's, it's absolutely. several. And there's also rules about how many cows you can hit. All right. You see one, if you see one cow

on a track, you're fine. If you see more than one cow, I think it's, I think it's cow or sheep. If there's more than one, you have to stop the train. But one, you just fucking... Okay, we're going to take a break because Pete needs a reset. Yeah, all right. I've just seen on me ring doorbell, Tarquin, that cows being hit by a train. It's the Luca Pete show.

Well, what about, Eve? So, you know, I was thinking about this earlier. By the doorbell from a train? No. Dingo. You know, when you see those those wildlife cameras. My dad's got one of him, yeah. Well, my best friend's got one in his parents-in-law's house. They've got a massive garden. They get all sorts of interesting wildlife,

and they set up wildlife camera. What about if you set up ring doorbells along different parts of a train track? Right. Someone like Francis Bouchoir would be up for that, wouldn't he? I don't know how long the range is on them, though. What do you mean? So when a train goes past,

you could just constantly have an app that goes as a train coming past now. Yeah, if you're into it. But what I'm saying is, it doesn't seem to matter what the distance is, because obviously it's probably connected to the internet. I get who's at my door on my watch when I'm at work. But it's connected to a Wi-Fi signal, isn't it? So that's how you've got that.

So as long as you've got it connected to a Wi-Fi, you'd be fine. I could have a look at my baby's cot right now. Yeah. And I'll do it. I scared myself with those kind of how easy those are to hack and they end up getting a proper analogue one. Yeah, they're better out now, yeah. R-F.

Yeah, because I don't need to see it when I'm out. But I mean, you do sort of go, if you are a wronging and you want to look at kids sleeping, is that going to satisfy any of your needs, really? I don't know we need to go on this road, do we? I think it's one of those ones wrong. Weir us in a different direction from that. Don't make that face, Bruno. This is your first show, mate.

Bruno, you're in the fucking obsess people with the rest of this now, mate. Accept it. If my kid is start bollock naked in a cot, that something has gone wrong with the day, one would suggest. because she doesn't get changed there it's just not somewhere the way she's ever in the Nud

although the last time she was in the Nud run around the house she just runs up and just shakes her up and goes ha ha ha ha I was like this is brilliant I can't let my son do that

because I just feel like he's going to shit the floor every many moment and I'm going to clean it off I try to sell the house oh well thanks for by the house here's a shit stay on the car man

who's fine as long as it sits on the bit of wood not in the cracks in between the wood we don't have wooden floors we're working class people Well, you're a carpet. Yeah.

Is that a working class? The only reason why we've got wooden floors is because my dog's shot on it so many times. I try to pull it up. We've got sand. I went to a place at a restaurant. It was really nice. They put soddusts down on the floor. Just trying too hard.

A little bit, but it fits with the vibes. You know those like chefs who, oh, it's got a star, but it's a bloke with a beard. He looks like a pirate and he only cooks on fire. It's that kind of thing. It's so basic that it becomes something else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, when they say that, like, communism becomes essentially fascism at some point.

Right. Because it's like a big horsey in it, quite close together. It's kind of feels like that with restaurants. But I want to go back to something you said about the train. It sounded like in a Moscow. Actually, Hitler was a national socialist. You fucking idiot. I mean, he's either at this point,

willfully misleading people, or he's stupider than we ever thought. Off his head. Than we ever actually thought. it's like someone said as well North Korea is a democracy because it's called

a democratic people they call them that they called them themselves that the train oh no no not talking about to the train because you said Tom from my space is back

but we'll move on we'll do that in the minute we've got a producer now we don't forget it what about this train thing when you said so I just wanted to pick you up on something when the train driver

you know I can't have, I think I would have worked with him before, I think. Capital Radio's Lucio. Yeah, no, he's a train driver. He's a train driver. I bet he's good on the old announcements. Yeah. Must be brilliant on that.

You never get, I, I, uh, radio DJs always go back. He'll go back, I'm sure. He's good. Luchio's great. It's always a good. To be honest, if you're decent at it, it's a really easy job. Anyway, especially if you're on Classic FM, I told us before, didn't I? Classic FM is the easiest broadcasting job around.

But you have to have had a job on pointless or somewhere else. You've got to get there. Yeah, but the entry point isn't. get good at the radio bit, it's get bad at the telebay. Yeah, in it? But the classic FM thing, first of all, the music they play is minutes and minutes and minutes long. That's point number one.

Point number two, there's a lot of ads on Classic FM. Point number three, the expectation of the things you have to say is very low because it's a kind of chill out, snooty type show. Yeah. You're doing. So all you've ever got to do, seriously, the job to present Classic FM is every seven or eight minutes, you just go, the unmistakable sound of Brahms. Overagmaninoff.

And then you go, coming up after the news and sport, it's Beethoven. What's Simon Bates doing? Do they do sport in classical? They'll get an iron feeding. Anyway, the train, that's fucking train. You said there's a fresh hole for the amount of animals you can hit on a train. Before you have to do what? The amount of people, before you have to stop the train.

So you can plow through, I think, one. cow, maybe a couple of sheep, but once that number starts to get up, that can be... I want to know what the exchange rate is. I know. I don't know what the thing. I don't know what the thing is. And the exoticism exchange rate as well. Because if it's like a particular rare breed of pig that's escaped, yeah.

People probably wouldn't rate a pig as much as a cow is important because it's not as big. Yes. I completely agree. Yeah. And everyone's got that cut off in their life when it comes to killing animals, right? So I wouldn't... So the only animals I will kill will be... eyes, mosquitoes, and wasps.

Yes. Everything else gets casually and carefully put outside. Have you accidentally killed a spider though? Yeah. Yeah. I've accidentally done it, but I don't think I can take the blame for that. But like sometimes back in the day, you would get people who would see an injured bird and they just wring its neck.

Are you doing that? It's the kind thing to do. It is the kind of you. Are you bringing yourself to doing that? I've never had the honour. No, same. But what level of animal? I think I could do it.

Okay, what about this then? This is a really interesting philosophical discussion. People listening will have a certain thing. Kick one is harsh. They're the alphas. Kick me to death. If you drove over one and there wasn't quite dead, what are you going to do?

That's one of the biggest fears I've got. I keep driving. So when I went up to Scotland and I drove through a lot of country lanes, I actually hit a couple of grouse and they died, thankfully. Right. But one of my biggest fears is being on my own,

driving along, inadvertently hitting quite a big animal, like a fox or a badger. Yeah. You know how much admiration I've got for the humble fox. Very successful species, right? But it's not quite dead. Yes.

What are you doing in that scenario? I'm RFK Junior in it. It's in the back. Take it to Central Park. It's dinner. It's dinner. Take it in the Central Park to get rid of it. But you're not taking a live one in the back of your carpeat. That's the worst choice of all the choices.

In the boot? It's very spacious. So you want a live, injured animal in your boot? Because you're going to kill it later. Yeah. So you're going to torture it for a bit by putting it in the car. Yeah. But how are you,

seriously, what are you doing? I don't know. I'd probably try and finish it off, but I don't know what, I don't have anything in the car to finish it off. Do you know what I mean?

A jack? Spare player. I don't have a lot of them. Spare wheel. I don't have spare wheel. Oh. Can I. Oye?

Living on the edge, yeah. No, I've got one of the spray cans or you fill of, um, the thing full of, um,

the thing full of, um, spray form. That's nice. That's nice. That's a nice. There's a nice classy type. No, run flat for Donison. Spray that in the fox's eye.

Finish it off. Do you want to finish off the show with News of Simon Bates, the classic FM DJ? You were looking him up. I could tell you were looking at because you weren't listening to what I was saying.

Classic Dawson. I can't Mully Desk. He's retreating second tier podcast. Good on him. So there you go. Good on him. Who does he support? I don't know, to be honest.

I really don't know. It was something about Gary Oldman. So maybe it was... He seems quite critical of Farage. And, yeah. I don't know whether he's He think he's Andy Pro Farage, it seems. Yeah.

Well, that's good to know, because when they get to a certain age, you can go either way, can't it? Yeah, good on him for sticking to the good fight. I can't see who he supports, but he works on, he works apparently on BBC, oh, he did work on BBC Radio Devin. Hello. I always quite like Simon, he didn't get busted by that BBC nonsense, did he? No, no, he didn't.

He would always, if you ever asked him, he said, Simon, can you do this V-O for us? Because he'd be an authoritative voice for, you know, the X-Men Breakfast show, and he'd go, yeah, fine. Do you want to know who I always really liked working with? of the old-fashioned DJs of that type David Kidd Jensen

yeah David Kidd Jensen he was a nice fellow on capital gold yeah he was very nice hello gentlemen yeah I've just checked I've just checked his personal

he's fine he's fine good okay great I've just seen here he's been diagnosed with Parkinson's even very sad to hear that David Jensen was a gentleman I liked working with him was always very helpful to me

when it comes to doing lovely sponsorship reads really lovely blog so good on him let's leave on David Kidd Jensen with respect and love to

kid, Jens. Unless something's happened that we don't know about. All right, we'll be back on what day was this? What day was this? Back on Thursday. If you've got some batteries to give us,

please do. Hello, look, peat show.com. You've always got a 50-50 chance to get it right. Exactly, yeah. And I always get it wrong. Always get it wrong. It's remarkable, actually.

Yeah, I know. Tata. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the A-cast Creator Network.