The Luke and Pete Show - An Armadillo Role-Play

Episode Date: April 12, 2021

On today’s show, punk Pete Donaldson gets ready for his very first driving lesson in a Formula 1 car, before the boys discuss the joys of pubs reopening without scotch egg and pitta bread restrictions. We’ve also got a Prince Philip tribute from Pete, Darth Vader toilet troubles from Luke and some handy freezer life hacks from a listener who really knows their onions. Don’t miss out!Get involved by sending us an exciting email over at [e-mail]! Or drop us a follow on Instagram/Twitter at @lukeandpeteshow. We love hearing from you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the luke and pete show it is monday the 12th of april everything is becoming unlocked down and we are free to spit in each other's mouths uh welcome to the show luke moore uh would you like a big kiss from me chilling start for everyone i think mostly for me you're such a punk it's just such a punk i just love punk music so much i'm going to open the show by talking about spitting at people yeah to be honest peter it's absolutely pathetic look if it's not you it's margaret thatcher oh bloody margaret thatcher yeah bloody tories careful part That's a woman you're talking about there What else do punk musicians hate? They hate using locks correctly And the capitalisms

The capitalisms Capitalisms They hate capitalisms They hate writing the A Without a circle around it True That's for Anarchy brother man They hate combs

Because it might disrupt Their lovely Mohicans Speaking for Anarchy, brother man. They hate combs because it might disrupt their lovely Mohicans. Speaking of Anarchy, Peter, you were once listed as, of the eight hosts of the Football Ramble, you were once listed as the chaotic evil host. Oh, yeah, I'll take that. Was it chaotic evil or chaotic good? Chaotic, I never know how those kind of charts work. What makes you because i

remember when i used to go to a shop called myriad in hartlepool south centre to play some role playing back in the day next to people tell us more about that um well i got thrown out i did not respect i did not respect the dungeon master did not respect the girl how did that manifest how did that disrespect manifest itself because he was a a bellend, and I was... On the other hand, you're doing role-playing games. What did you expect? We were playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle role-playing game. Oh, amazing. I was an armadillo.

What? He wouldn't let... I would just go, all right, and I didn't understand why he is the ultimate kind of authority and stuff, and I was going, all right, well, I'm going to roll a D50 or whatever, see if I can fly out the bloody window. And he's like, no, I don't, no, you can't do that. I'm going, well, let me roll it.

Let me roll, see if I do it. And every time he wouldn't let me sort of fly out the window because I'm an armadillo and they can't fly. Pete, what role does an armadillo play in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles role-play game? I mean, you would think that he would be quite useful, a 17-year-old armadillo, mutant armadillo. It would be quite useful a 17 year old armadillo mutant armadillo

it would be quite useful wouldn't it because if you're surrounded by all of these kind of soft dodgy, yeah exactly you'd be like you'd be like a kind of merc, you'd be someone who kind of braces the doorway so nobody gets shot or stabbed, you're the guy who'd sort of protect everybody because you've got a nice outer shell

as did the Ninja Turtles presumably you started this story by saying we were talking about Celtic good and Celtic evil I came up as like traditional evil I think but how does this how does this refer to you and your days as a steampunk in roleplaying game because steampunk is one punk you can

get on with isn't it is there an only fools and horses punk there probably was a few coming around because it was the 80s get on with, isn't it? Wasn't this, is there an Only Fools and Horses punk? There probably was a few kicking around because it was the 80s. No, yeah, I didn't respect

it as authority but I remember I was chaotic good and I don't really understand how those classifications work. I'm sure somebody will probably email

us about them. So, interestingly, my wife used to do a bit of, spent a bit of time doing those kind of Dungeons and Dragons

type role playing things she revealed to me a few weeks ago. I didn't time doing those kind of Dungeons and Dragons type role-playing things she revealed to me a few weeks ago. I didn't even really know it was a thing or not. I mean, we're pretty much the same age. I had no idea, we're the same school age. I had really no idea that was even a thing. I remember HeroQuest, I remember Space Crusade. Yeah.

Enjoyed them. But that was never really seen, as far as I remember, as like a proper nerd thing where you could actually take it up to the max and do like actual proper role playing and it became cool again didn't it

because of Stranger Things okay did it because they play it a lot in Stranger Things did they right okay and they made it seem really cool and so

and I'm sure it is cool I don't really know anything about it but how did you even find out about this type of stuff you go into this this closed shop and you're you're playing role playing

I don't even know it was even a thing that existed back in the 90s. But I think HeroQuest and Space Marines and stuff, they were like cut down very kind of WH Smith's versions of the stuff you'd get in the Citadel shops. Your entry level. Your entry level, kind of quite broad kind of entry point

to funnel you into your Warhammer or your Warhammer 40,000. I think 40,000 was set in the future, and Warhammer was very much set in the past, and I certainly preferred the early store. That said, though, with the figurines, I did enjoy painting the Space Marines. They had some lovely blue colours. Some of those paintings are amazing.

Oh, incredible. They're so clever. And it's probably quite popular with children because they've got very sort of... They've got tiny hands and very sort of... They can sort of get with it. I can't imagine any grown-up with old, old eyes could paint them very well because they're so tiny.

But yeah, didn't respect the authority of the Dungeon Master. I was chaotic good, and I'm not really sure where the chaos comes from. Where does it actually come from? I don't know. How did it manifest itself? You just got booted out and you weren't asked back?

I just got booted out. I wasn't asked back, really. I mean, and to be honest, I had a nicer time not doing it. And were you introduced to it through a friend, or did you just turn up or give it a bash?

Yeah, I was introduced through a friend called Joel who worked for the I think he went on to work for the God Channel. He used to take me to What a journey he's had. He tried to convert me. He took me to like kind of

Sunday, you know like a Sunday school but it lasts all summer. So right a couple of summers my mum and dad were absolutely cock-a-hoop that I'd been taken to some church for about three months. it lasts all summer so right a couple of summers my mom and dad were absolutely cock a hoop that i'd been taken to some um some some church for about three months i just got brought back completely and then you know just watching people singing songs like jesus is a rock and he rolls my blues away on a out of tune um tacomine guitar i like to i like to think of you being actually the perfect, most traditional son before that three months.

And then when you came back, it was almost like the birth of a supervillain. Yeah, we've got now because of that. That was the influence. I've seen the other side of it. Well, I think my last kind of trip out with the church lot was we went to the carnival on Seton Carew, where the beach is near Hartlepool,

and I wet my pants and just came home. Oh, really? Just wet myself. What, you just went straight home? Yeah, because everyone was on the waltzes, and I was like, I really need a wee. Right. But I thought it would be terrible,

and I would go missing if I ran to the toilet. But I just stood there and wet myself out of just sheer awkwardness. And that very much sums up me as a person, I would say. I would rather wet myself. I'd rather defile myself than make a stink. Speak up. Make a stink. Yeah, I can see that. It reminds me of a story. I had a good friend growing up called Adam

and we ended up being friends, really good friends until we were kind of 18 or 19 or whatever we played football together, we were in school together anyway, there was a story that neither of us could properly remember or admit because we were friends, I think we went to like nursery together and everything, so I think we were friends when we were about 3 or 4

and I tried to do the timeline but I can't really work out which Star Wars film it would have been but when I was about maybe 4 or maybe 5 or whatever, and he was the same age as me, one of the Star Wars films came out. Let's say it was Empire Strikes Back or whatever. And weirdly, for a small town on the south coast where I grew up, Gosport, across the harbour from Portsmouth, as you know, they had some kind of Star Wars-like event at my mum's supermarket of choice,

which is called Main Stop, right? And it involved people dressed as Star Wars characters in Gosport in the early 80s wandering around the supermarket. And I was there shopping with my mum and he was there shopping with my mum and he was there shopping with his mum yeah and one my mum and his mum and me and him can never remember which was which but one of us got so scared by the darth vader that we pissed our pants but neither of us could remember

who it was so we'd always claim it was the other so yeah i mean i was very much scared of the um of darth vader from from a very young age. And so I've definitely also probably wet myself in public on at least one occasion. So how old were you at the time when that happened? I don't know, to be honest. I was probably about seven or eight, I imagine. A little bit later than you would probably expect

as someone who was going to urinate themselves. But it's when the social kind of fabric of my life kind of started forming and I became incredibly embarrassed and quite timid. So yeah, it was probably later than you would sort of want to be pissing your pants, to be quite frank. And speaking of wetting yourself,

have you wet yourself with excitement now that the pubs are open again? I mean, I spent a weekend, I visited my sister I visited my sister and finally met my niece which is bloody lovely little baby Sophie she's not that into me

to be quite frank she'll get there, she'll learn she'll take you to her heart like the nation has yeah baby Emma is definitely into me which is good um went down the swings and i sort of walked past the pub and i was like you know what on a day like this when i'm seeing my family i don't don't miss the pubs to be honest and then i came home and i walked past a very

underwhelming weather spurs and i thought i want to go in there please now yeah i want to go in there now thank you i woke up i woke i Thank you. I woke my wife up this morning because I knew the pubs were open today. I knew a few of my friends. And I'm not one of these people because I've got a lot of work to do today. But I know a few of my friends who have a local and have missed a community of it.

And we're really looking forward to it today. Are they taking the day off? Well, no. A couple of them, because they're working from home anyway, a couple of them, I think, have got no meetings in the afternoon

and they've booked themselves into the pub garden, right? On a Monday? Yeah, I opened the curtains this morning and woke Mimi up because I saw the snow coming down.

Oh, fuck off. So the very day that the pubs were open again where you could sit in the garden and that's it, it was actually snowing. It was mad.

It's been an insane weekend. Like, we started the day sort of driving down through the Peak District and it was snowing. It's been an insane weekend. Like we started the day sort of driving down through the Peak District and it was snowy. It was just snowing and then it was sunny and then it rained.

You didn't drive, were you driving? I didn't drive. No, God no. Why not? I'm not allowed on the motorway. I'm not allowed on the M1, Luke. Why?

That's the number one thing they don't allow you to do as a non-driver. I thought you'd passed your test now. Are you just still learning? No, I've not gone to a single lesson. Again, they won't let me take a test until I've done a lesson. So you're not even learning?

You've just got a car. Not even learning. No, I've got my first lesson on Wednesday. Lovely. Called Shamsul, I think his name is. What are you expecting? Expecting to get a bloody... Not high barnet. Where am I going to? I'm going somewhere that's like 25 minutes away just to have a bloody not hide

Barnet where am I going to I'm going somewhere that's like 25 minutes away just to have a lesson so surely you can drive the car they're supposed to come to you aren't they they did in my day yeah I remember because I used to hide when I wasn't feeling it Pete do you at least get to do the lesson in your own car

I guess not no I guess you don't whatever they've got to be honest. I hope it's very similar to a Fiat 500 though. I bet, basically you got there and it was like a fucking Formula 1 car or something. It's absolutely massive. And you'd do it in this dog's head,

you'd do it in anything. That's funny. Yes, that'd be exciting. I'll have to keep you updated as to what Shamsul is teaching me, quite frankly. I think very, I mean, my very first lesson I think involved me being in some kind of very, very quiet car park and having to perform a... No, I'm only joking. And having to just drive around very slowly

while the instructor had a car that also had pedals in the footwell of the passenger seat as well. Yeah, yeah. I wonder how much it is to kind of, like, modify your own car to have extra pedals in different places. I was thinking that. Do you reckon that's a decent overhead for a driving instructor? I think it would be 500 quid maximum.

It's just, all it does is something that clamps down on the original pedal. It's not anything special, is it? Probably do it yourself, mate. I think you should do that. I think you should definitely do that yourself. Just get a two-by-four and just sort of jam your hands into the accelerator on the brake

when they're doing the shit. Or do like get a comedy pair of ropes that you could use with your hands on the passenger seat. Just pull them. Exactly. You'd see it in America. You would.

So can I, am I to, am I to think that you are looking forward to the pubs opening or not? Because you gave us quite a non-committal answer. Sorry, yeah. I've not got anything booked, so I presume I won't be able to have a pint in a pub because I've not booked anything.

And modern life is so very tedious. You have to sort of book yourself in, haven't you? So no, I've got nothing booked, got nothing planned. So what are the changes this week between like meeting people and stuff? Are you allowed to go around people's houses? Are you allowed to meet people inside anymore? No, you're asking. It's the rule of six still.

And I think the pub situation is that you, it's a confined amount of people, like a small amount of people in the garden only. I think it's table service, but you do not, repeat not, have to have a substantial meal. Because you remember when Scotch eggs had their time late last year? Everyone was talking about Scotch eggs.

Yeah, I remember being in a place and they said, I mean, we have to give you some food. Here's some pita bread. And it was just two pits of pita bread on a plate. And they go, just don't eat it. That's not substantial for me. It's been there for hours. Don't eat it.

Just leave it there so it looks like you're having a meal. Which is exactly how for me. It's been there for hours. Don't eat it. Just leave it there so it looks like you're having a meal. Which is exactly how the rules should be bent in my opinion. Yeah, they said that when we were in the pub as well. They said, they said,

oh, you know, leave a plate of not fully finished food on the table because if we get any inspector come round, then it's all good. I mean, that is absolutely ridiculous, isn't it? Yeah, that's ridiculous.

And I'm a completist as well. I finish everything on my plate, to be quite frank. Are you a life member of the clean plate club, are you? I am, yeah. I don't respect anyone who leaves food on their plate. Again, it's that anxiety thing, isn't it? Isn't it in Japan? Aren't you supposed to leave something on Japan

to show that you don't want any more? Yeah, and they're very big on not wasting food and stuff. It's probably, yeah. I don't know what that's about, but... So for people listening, the custom is you leave a tiny morsel on your plate to show that you enjoyed the meal, but you don't want any more, basically.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. So how long did you find that out the hard way? No, because I accidentally... Because everything's in japanese obviously and i don't speak japanese uh and so i usually um end up ordering twice as much food than i actually need and pete we can't go to a break um without talking about the news of a man i know you a lot um prince philip yes uh i'd like to put into the world my deep, deep respect and love.

I've got no opinion, so I can't really possibly comment, but it's been a funny few days. The National Rail Inquiry's turning everything to grey. I mean, that was weird. We can at least agree on that. I mean, that wasn't...

Tell people what happened so they can say they don't know. However much you love the monarchy, however much you respected a monarchy however much you respected a slightly problematic figure in him I think turning the National Rail Inquiry's

multicoloured web site from loads of different colours that help people who can't see very well with colour blinds and stuff like that into grey out of respect

for Prince Philip. It was a swerve. It was a weird one. I realised that I just sort of want to grab all the people and sort of go, look, you don't have to get involved with this. Nobody's going to National Rail Enquiries for news, up-to-date information about the monarchy, or love and respect.

Nobody expects the national rail inquiry website to show respect for anything it's a purely functional and trains they can't respect their own transport mode how are they going to respect it and the best thing about it was that there was a twitter conversation which i saw where they posted that out of respect for prince philip they were turning all the font to gray fine as you as you've said. Right. Someone replied saying, I'm partially excited that I can't use the website. So can you please let me know when it's going to be turned back? Or can I turn it back?

Have I got an option? And someone from National Rail just replied saying, nah, you can't turn it back. And I'm not sure when you can. So I'll let you know on Monday. Cheers. Saturday. I'll let you know on Monday.

Thanks very much. Brilliant. All right. Well, I don't need to go and get my vaccine then. Yeah. I don't think, you know, whatever your opinion of Prince Philip, if you sat him down and explained to him

what had happened there, I don't think he would support it. No, he wouldn't. He's not a man who suffered fools gladly. Well, he preferred to drive anyway, as we've seen. To be fair, like, when was that? A year ago? Two years ago?

Like, if I'm flipping cars two years before my death and it's not in the 40s yeah i might be in about a week's time but if i'm flipping cars within like five years of my death at 99 that's a life well lived in many ways isn't it it is but i think there's a light and shade about this he is doing that and that was amazing that he was still able to drive however he did cause an accident and two it was on his own estate so yeah you doing it you but probably i presume pete unless i'm i don't mean to do you a disservice but if you are a multi-billionaire in your 90s then fair enough but i presume you would have been doing it on the public road which is quite slightly different so i i just think it's, to me, and I know you feel more strongly about this than I do,

and I feel quite strongly about it. You can put the Prince Philip as a character thing aside. I actually think the picture of him is far more nuanced than people have said, but of course, the world these days doesn't lend itself to nuance, so I understand that. But ultimately, the weird thing I find is that the Britishish british society

i don't even listen to british public because it probably isn't even that many of the british public like but a certain section of british society seem to want to be mawkish and overly earnest about any time someone who's a public figure dies and it manifests itself in the most alan partridge of ways and it seems to be happening more and more and I would have thought as I got older I'd have been more in favour of this stuff but I actually think it's getting worse. I think it's old hands

being in control of new technology and they don't really know what, like I don't I didn't need to see a picture a photoshop of Captain Tom at the Pearly Gates. Why is he involved? Greeting Prince Philip and asking whether he wants to go for a brandy.

I didn't need to see that. And I don't understand how Captain Tom got up the stairs because he's not got wings. In this situation, no one wins. No one wins here. There's no one here coming out of this with any credit. You are besmirching the name and the image of two dead people. And God. And God.

Yeah. And the thing is, on the actual news itself, and I personally felt like it was obviously a bit over the top, but ultimately, Pete, and I'm sure I can get agreement from you on this, a man has died right a man with a family has died for better or worse he had a remarkable life and I thought it was summed up really nicely

by the lobbying group I forget their actual name but they're a lobbying group to turn Britain into a republic right and they're very active on social media and do a lot of lobbying because their cause, their actual reason, their raison d'etre is to abolish the monarchy. And they posted, to their

immense credit, as far as I saw, they posted a tweet about 8 o'clock in the morning the day after he died, or a few hours after he died, saying, a man has died, he has a family, this is not a time for us to be making comment, we wish the family all the best

we send our very best regards to his wife and to the family and we'll be making no further comment that's all you've got to do why is everyone piping up

especially if you're especially if you've got a vested interest in the abolishment of the monarchy so people will be looking to you to have a spicy

take on stuff and if they can have or to affirm their shit basically yeah and if they've got to affirm their shit basically yeah and if they've got the clarity of vision and the um the self the self-respect i think to sort of say it's not for today yeah someone's died we're we i think we've made our position clear about this chap and and and why they exist and why these people exist i think we've made that very clear

but you know it's not it's not our day know, it's not our day, is it? It's not our day. We're not celebrating. I don't need to know what the UK branch of Wimpy has to say about... I'm not saying they did tweet about it. I'm just saying that we don't need it. We don't need their voices added to the discourse. And also, I don't need to be told that the way that I'm grieving is wrong

and the way that, like, like listen he's a man with it's people who it's that and there's people who tweet about people who are complaining about the monarchy you know i mean they're not going like you were saying a man has died have some fucking respect blah blah blah and you're like oh well no one was really disrespecting it until you started having a go it's just it's just everyone has to have a voice everyone has to have a you know say something about it can we say that if you started having a go. It's just everyone has to have a voice. Everyone has to have a, you know, say something about it. Can we say that if you see that a public figure has died, if your first action

is to load up Photoshop, just step away from the computer. Yeah, CaptainSirTomMore underscore PrincePhilip underscore HeavensPurlyGates dot jpeg slash final. Final, final, heavens, pearly gates, dot jpeg, slash final, final, final,

final. Dot PNG, sun's shadows. The thing is, they're not even doing PNGs, are they? No, they probably not.

It's probably going to be jpeg. It's going to look terrible. It's going to look terrible. I reckon it's a bitmap half the time. One of the best things I saw over the weekend wasn't even about Prince Philip. It was a journalist who had been following DMX around, who obviously sadly passed at the weekend.

He told a story about like two hours before he was supposed to be playing at the Mobile Awards, you know, the height of his power, the height of his fame, the height of his performance capabilities. He was in Hyde Park flying like a plane, flying like a toy plane. He basically told his driver to have the day off. And then he decided to just drive his driver around London, visiting Hamleys, an Oxford Street based hobbyist and craft shop, bought himself this nice, fancy remote control plane drove to Hyde Park

like a crazy person and dressed in full red camouflage just started flying these little toy planes around Hyde Park and he smashed one into a tree got told off by a policeman because post September 11th we weren't allowed to be flying unmanned drones around Britain and certainly not in Hyde Park near the seat of power and then there's just these lovely shots of DMX just in a tree trying to get his plane down

this was two hours before he was playing at the mobile, he just couldn't give a shit and those are the stories that I like, those are the ones that are just like oh good, I'm glad he had a lovely day you know it also um it also spawned a story and this is cuts to the very core of what we're talking about a second ago about like about modern society there's a story doing the rounds over the weekend that um jay-z is gonna buy the dmx masters from whichever person owns them or label owns them and he's going to make sure

that they're delivered to DMX's children so the legacy is that obviously he's died quite young no opportunity to earn any more money for his family so that his family are basically entitled

get what they're entitled to because I don't think he had rights to the masters and it was going to cost like 10 million dollars which I understand to like Jay-Z and Beyonce it's probably not that much money.

But anyway, it's a big gesture. It's an amazing thing. And then the first thing I thought because I'm a victim of modern society is, I don't know if that's true or not. And so...

Oh, right. Okay, yeah, yeah. Because Pete, there are an absolute selection of complete weirdos who will make up really good feel-good stories that aren't true.

Why would you do that? Yeah, why would you ruin my day? That's worse than the other stuff, really, in a way, because you're delivering false hope. Yeah, no, I agree. That's awful. Well, I hope that's true. I hope that's not absolute bullshit.

I do as well. And on that note, we should take the ad break off before we come back delivering more false hope in the shape of listener emails. So we'll do that in a minute stick around Join us on the Football Ramble

as we explore the ridiculous world of football we bring in-depth analysis of the biggest moments like Bruno Fernandes' one-eyed penalties

Sounds a bit like a Metallica song Yeah it does But obviously like One eye open But if you have one eye open. But if you have one eye closed, you know your perception. So imagine if you tried the dink,

and it just, like, went, like, two feet in front of him. Every weekday, we cover the good, the bad, and the Newcastle. Although Shelby wasn't surprised either. He said the way they play isn't great. And you couldn't fucking beat them, could you? Could Shelby be the mole? Didn't Bruce accuse the mole of treason? To the Geordie Nation.

Putting the football world to rights. If you want to put a message on a T-shirt under your shirt, slag it off your mind. That is an absolute minefield in the dresser room. Don't worry, lads, I'll put it in another language. Do you know how many languages that man speaks? Not with Roy. Not like what with Roy. We're here with the biggest stories from the sport we love

and we want you to get involved too. Search the Football Ramble on your favourite podcast player to listen now. This was a Stakhanov production. It's the Luke and Pete show. It's Monday. Pete and Luke with you. And if you want to get to the show,

it is is as always hello at LukeandPeteShow.com on the email at Luke and Pete Show on Twitter and at Luke and Pete Show on the Instagram Luke do you want to

kick us off with your favourite email of the week or second or third no it's not the favourite but it's made it in and I think Craig Clark should be very pleased with himself for doing so

I mean I'm not going to lie to the guy I'm not going to say it's my favourite email of the week but what he should cling to pete is that it's been good enough to be read out so i don't think you should ask for any more than that from us because i think that would be unfair so craig clark says i've got a life hack that might be of some interest to luke i worked in restaurants as a cook for over 10 years. And one thing that many chefs told me

was that when cutting onions and beginning to get teary-eyed, you should stick your head in the freezer. From my experience, it worked, although it might have been more that you were just out of the onions' fumes, basically. This life hack has spread to my family, and still to this day I will come into the kitchen while my wife is cooking and she will be standing with her head in the freezer after cutting some rather potent onions.

Love the show. All the best, Craig Clark. Now, for those who don't listen to the Football Ramble, one of the catchphrases we say on the show is fire in the belly, head in the freezer. So this is where Craig's emails come from. I described this email in my notes as this is a hack to stop you crying while chopping onions, but there's a bit of a catch, i.e.

you're not realistically going to put your head in the freezer i mean it's just not going to happen but despite what craig says about his wife i thought he meant you could just walk into a walk-in freezer and carry on chopping your onions because you've got an industrial size one at a restaurant right right okay yeah but then you're making all of the food in the freezer smell like onions which isn't ideal you cannot have that there's a reason why there's a little air hole in in those kind of like cross-country trucks to um to air them out after the after different foods have been in them you get onions are very pungent uh what are you talking about a cross-country truck you know like those trucks that like take food across country right it's like a little cat like so you have like the main doors and then you've got little doors in the main doors,

and there's one at the back of the truck and one at the front, and when the truck moves, it airs out whatever's been in before. So say you've had a little... I didn't even know that. So they did it on the way back when they're empty again? Yeah. That's a really good idea. They just air it out effectively.

Yeah, it is a good idea. For ages, people just didn't really know what... Is that common knowledge? I think so yeah there was a piece about it it reminded me

about it quite recently there was a piece about it in some kind of website probably Jalopnik or something

Right I'd never heard of that before and I think you've probably imparted quite a good bit of wisdom onto our listenership there Yeah it's not a bad idea

I suppose because if you've got a stinky load followed by I don't know you can't know a load of chickens or something the chickens don't be smelling of onions do they when they're being driven to their death yeah exactly yeah exactly so i think i think what i'd like to know from craig is if it works when you chop the onion so you take the chopping board and the onions into a walk-in freezer and chop them in the freezer

is that gonna work the other person got in touch and said them in the freezer, is that going to work? The other person got in touch and said to me, one person got in touch with me once and said to me, if you chop them underwater, it works. I was like, well, yeah, obviously it fucking works, but who wants to be chopping onions underwater? That's mental. You wash all the flavour away. Yeah, but what if the, it probably wouldn't, but I think

all of the water, what if the water suddenly turned red? You'd be like, oh, I've cut my bloody finger. You wouldn't be able to see properly or it's a red onion or it's a red onion or it's a red onion yeah yeah i mean i think probably it helps because it's it's it helps undilate all of the like the the the the eye holes and stuff i guess when it's warm or everything kind of opens up the pores open up your eyes open up a bit but when it when it's colder um everything kind of opens up. The pores open up. Your eyes open up a bit. But when it's colder, everything kind of gets a bit smaller. Hello to... Who have we got here?

Matt in Lincolnshire. Hello, Matt. Morning, the Luke and the Pete. Following on from Pilot Dave's comments on frozen aircraft fuel in the RAF, we combat this by mixing the aviation fuel with antifreeze, which prevents the fuel freezing when operating at extreme temperatures. We have to routinely test this mix to ensure it stays within parameters.

Interestingly, our US cousins use a slightly different variant of fuel, which means when RAF aircraft are refuelled by US tankers upon landing, we generally need to remix the fuel so it passes our own tests. Boring, but I thought it was worth chucking in my two pence of oil. I think last week we were talking about frozen fuel.

I find it fascinating that there are different kind of like recipes for fuel as you go around the world. I bet like in America they use like sugar and down in Mexico they use like corn syrup. What I find fascinating about it, and Matt says it's boring even though he emails it in, so good for him. But I mean, what I find fascinating about it and Matt says it's boring even though he emails it in so good for him but I mean what I find fascinating about it

is if I was left to my own devices to do something like this my brain would tell me straight away the first thing you don't want to be doing is putting anything in the fuel do you know what I mean leave the fuel alone that should be sacrosanct you should be putting stuff in the fuel because who knows what's going to happen.

Well, I mean, fuel's already a distillate, isn't it? A fuel's already like a mixture of stuff. I don't know what it is. And I don't think you know either. I can tell you. I presume it comes from some sort of derivative of crude oil or whatever that has to be refined and then changed. But I don't think I'm the one to be messing with the recipe,

is what I'm saying. No. You're not like dipping your little finger in and going... No. Needs more flour. When you said sugar in the fuel, it reminded me of the scene in Kingpin where Bill Murray's character, Uncle Ernie McCracken,

puts the sugar in Woody Harris and Roy Munson's gas tank to purposely break his car. So they have to ride together and do a scam together. So Sugar in the Gas Tank is not very good for you, I don't think. You shouldn't be doing that. Sugar in the Gas Tank is a classic.

I think there's a song Sugar in the Gas Tank by somebody. Oh, by a band you like. That's almost certainly a Newfound Glory song or something. Might be Lagwagon. Never mind. Real Big Fish. Yeah. Never mind. Real big fish.

Yeah. I was playing real big fish to Andy Brassel before a Ramble recording last week, and he was nodding along. It's not cool enough for him, is it? Nodding along. You know what Marcus is like? Marcus mentioned Coldplay to Andy.

Just literally said the word Coldplay last Friday, and Andy's nose turned up in a way i've never seen it before like he's so genial so lovely all the time you just say the word coldplay he looks like he wants to commit murders he's like one of those little red cellophane fish he just rolls up into a bowl it's immensely triggering for him to make sure any kind of easy listening because i remember the first time i met andy i went around his house or the first time I went round his house sorry and he had like decks set up with like

some quite heavy drum and bass on the turntables. Alright okay nice. So he's that kind of guy. I like it. Anyway anyway let's

get out of here Peter. Anyway alright then let's do it. I've been Pete Donaldson he's been Luke Mill we'll be back on Thursday for more of this chod if you

want to get to the show hello at LukeandPeteShow.com and you can check us out on Twitter and Instagram. Just do a search. We're not going to hold your hand. I'm not your dad. See you on Thursday.

This was a Stakhanov production and part of the ACAST Creative Network.