The Luke and Pete Show - An Excess Of Dirty Cheese

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

On today's episode, Luke and Pete give us the rundown on their new film idea, 'The Bitcoin Boys', after hearing that Cocaine Bear is coming to the big screen. We've also got battery brands, pastry sponsorships and a heated rant about not-so-self-made celebrities. GET STUCK IN!We love hearing from you so make sure you get in touch on our Twitter and Instagram at @lukeandpeteshow, or drop us an email over at [e-mail]! Oh, and if you're enjoying the show, drop us a review over on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Cheers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

and we're back with luca pichot it's thursday and it's been a fine fine week for a lot of us in in the uk we've been enjoying some balmy weather um luke you were talking last week about um in your getting in your ford cortina and driving around trying to find a particular seat at ford fiesta sorry what's the difference between a Cortina and a Fiesta? Fiesta's much smaller. Right okay um but I you know I think I told you I've been driving around a little bit myself and I'm sort of it's not a midlife crisis because I've never done this before I've decided but it it's it's giving me a real kind of like 17 year old kind of buzz that i that is exactly what a midlife crisis is you've never done it before and now you feel like you're 17 that is

exactly the definition of it but i've never driven a car before and me driving a car is like oh i can see why people get really excited about this i'm tootling around here i'm tootling around there the freedom of going wherever i want as long as my partner's with me in the passenger seat because she is a she is a registered driver my just to put this in perspective my father-in-law sent a text message the other day talking about um how he doesn't think you should be driving. Why? I am diligent. My hand-eye coordination has been honed from years of video games. I know what the little caps in the engine do.

I know where to put the windscreen washer fluid, where to put the coolant, where to put the brake fluid. I know where to put everything now. He says, Luke, Pete using power tools and now he's driving. This is not good. Hey, I tell you what,

I was Googling out a repair of a slate roof over the weekend. Oh my God, I told you about my roof, didn't I? Yeah, the big man. Have they finished up there? Yeah, finished now. A couple of grand down?

Yeah. What was wrong with it? Because I am now, I'm in the process of trying to buy a house and back in the day, maybe even last year, I would find people on podcasts, people the process of trying to buy a house and back in the day, maybe even last year, I would find people on podcasts, people on radio shows talking about buying a house. A, fucking gauche because no one can afford a house right now. B, boring because

houses are fundamentally boring. And C, just again, just doubly boring. I'll go for two points. Two doses of boring. Didn need the c didn't need the z but boring gauche uh because it's a fan a fair whack of financial investment but um what's wrong with the roof because i am trying to buy a house at the moment i got a survey for the house that i'm trying to buy and let me tell you oh he kicked the tires down to the fucking rims on that car the survey the charts of air my god he uh was very detailed and it really has put the wind up me yeah that's what they do oh i mean my survey my surveyor didn't even check the roof by the sounds of it because it is fucked um i think that's something you should

be able to see as a surveyor like the roof is the key part of it get a bit like it's it's very much the business end of the house when it comes to um covering you from the elements yeah i think when surveyors um look at whether houses are fit to be bought or not i think they should at least start with the stuff that if it's not good or doesn't exist stops it being a house for example a roof yeah if it's not got i don't know certain types of door frames it's still a house if it's got like problems with hot potholes in the garden it's still a house if it's not got a roof it's not a house so that's important to answer your question as concisely as possible there was some poor rendering done around the chimney stack. Right. Which meant there were gaps opening up, which meant water was seeping in.

So the idea was to get the roofer up to reseal the chimney stack, right? So he gets up there. He says, yeah, I can do that. No problem. Does me a quote. This is how long it's going to take. This is who will do it with me. Fine.

So yeah, commission him to do the work. He gets up there and he comes back down again and says right i've stripped some of it back and it looks like the leaks actually coming from higher up the roof so i can reseal the chimney for you but actually the water's going to start pooling in there anyway because we've got a leak so the leak extended up one of the valleys to a load of issues with crack tiles and ceiling and felt and all the rest of it so it turned out you had to pull all the tiles back up the valley replace the valley, put the more waterproofing down put more tiles back on top

and then reseal the chimney so basically I think roofing is one of those things where it's very difficult to get to the root cause of the problem until you actually get started it tends to escalate the other thing is the slate on my roof is very old and it's that kind of slate where the slates become very brittle.

So you end up having to buy two slate tiles for every one you use because every time you try and pull one out or cut it, it cracks. Right, okay, yeah. On top of that, you don't want to be walking around on a slate roof when it's anything like just even a little bit damp because it's very slippery so there's a lot of problems there so you might find did he go with did he go with um did he have scaffolding or did he go up on a ladder just ladders no because just a ladder yeah because because the valley was resting the valley was

leading to the chimney stacks they could get out the ladders go around the chimney stack and they could be quite safe up there they They didn't really need scaffolding. It wasn't a massive job. It was just a time-consuming one, basically. I was watching a man replacing this slate roof or replacing just the odd slate, a piece of slate, I suppose. And they've got to have little hooks

to hook around the nails and pull it out and stuff. And I was like, because basically the house that we're trying to buy has got a worn displaced tile, which has clearly made everything overflow in the guttering and has not cleared the guttering out for years.

Yeah, we had to get new gutters as well. Fucking hell. Everyone needs new gutters, apparently. No one bothers. Yeah, why? I mean, that's just part of the upkeep of the house, guys. That's what I was saying to the survey. I was like, look, that's going to cost you money now

because the rendering on the outside of the house is now soggy and the plaster on the inside of the house is also now soggy just because you didn't clear your gutters. Are we dads? I think we might be dads. I think we might be dads, yeah. I think we might be dads, yeah. It's all very dull.

Pete, speaking of nothing like this at all, actually, but I do really want to mention that it's April Fool's Day today. Yeah, because this is... You're quite wacky. I just can't... Is this the year that we just give up on April Fool's? Because we've had... I think everyone's been through the wringer.

It's the straw that breaks the camel's back. Yeah, I just think we just don't need it. We've been in our heads too much. Let's not antagonise each other with tedious wank. So let's just get through today and not worry about it. Put a film on. What film? I watched one with Harry Potter in it,

because he'll always be known as that. Bless him, Daniel Radcliffe. I think it's Escape from Pretoria about a freedom fighter escaping from... Just a lot of bad South African accents, to be honest. His wasn't bad, to be fair.

But he's got a lovely little beard on, which I'm very much enjoying. Oh, is he? That would look weird. It doesn't matter what he does, he'll still just be Harry Potter with a beard or Harry Potter with just be Harry Potter with a beard or Harry Potter with muscles

or Harry Potter with his willy out it's just yeah that's a shame that is a shame he is a shame he's a nice bloke if you look at the

yeah he is he seems very very nice if you look at but if you look at the acting performance of the kids in the first few Harry Potter films

it is abysmal well they just don't now aren't they might have just got kids. I love it. I enjoy that immensely. Speaking of films, have you seen that cocaine bear story that we talked about ages ago as being made into a movie? Oh yeah.

People are sort of complaining about it, saying that they don't want a story about an abused bear. The thing is, it was just such a guardian response to the fact they're making a film of what is fairly, it's a fairly interesting story, right? And it's just one bear.

It was an accident, right? I'm not suggesting that drug dealing is a noble profession or whatever, but I don't think they planned to drop 100 kilos of their very valuable fucking product into a forest for a bear to eat itself to death what's the complaint like the guardian did a big fucking piece with a writer i don't think it's that good but that's my personal opinion i can't remember his name anyway but

they did a guardian article when it was literally like this is not about a film this is about rank cruelty it's like well it's not really is is it? What are you suggesting? That other bears are going to be influenced by it? You don't see many bears in the cinema going, oh, I fancy a bit of cocaine. You know what I mean? Plus, as I understand it, bears don't have any kind of economy or currency, so they can't go and buy it. If they're going to be walking

around waiting for a massive shipment of it to accidentally be dropped on their heads, I think they're probably going to be safe. It's probably the only bear who ever experienced refined cocaine. I mean, I don't imagine they do a lot of tests on bears. Even bears are getting dealer's coke these days.

Yeah, apparently he ate so much of the cocaine that it exploded some of his organs. Wow, what a way to go. What a way to go, bear or otherwise. What a way to go. Yeah or otherwise What a way to go I think also I don't really know how it becomes

a film if you're going to make the film about the bear, I can understand how you're going to make a film about a drug deal gone awry, that seems like pretty well trodden ground and ripe fodder for a story but a bear just wandering around the woods doesn't really make any sense Yeah, it would need

he wouldn't be wandering would he be running yeah it wouldn't be it's hard to sort of figure out how they would a bear just wandering around the woods incessantly demanding the DJ change the song I just want him to sort of like it'd be him wandering around

but they made like an emoji movie, didn't they? And they thought that could never be made. What's it about? I think it's just a load of emojis just kicking around, isn't it? Just having a chat. The emoji movie? I never knew this was made. 2017.

Yeah. I don't know. I presume they've just made characters out of the little emojis. There's like... There'll be the aubergine one, and he'll be rude, and the poo one. Listen to the first line of the plot. Gene is an emoji that lives in Textopolis,

a digital city inside the phone of his user, a teenager named Alex. He is the son of two mare emojis named Mel and Mary, and is able to make multiple expressions despite his parents' upbringing. What the fuck is that? It just sounds like... That's got more cocaine in it than the cocaine bear story.

It sounds like the sort of book, like if we ever became way more popular than we to be honest deserve to be on the Luke and Pete show, that would be our book that we wrote for kids because everyone's at it.

Everybody who's got any sort of social status on Twitter, that's their first thing. They just turn to making a kid's book and that sounds like a kid's book. Whenever I see things like that, I'm always putting in mind of that Beastie Boys quote when they were interviewed. They asked about that song,

Fight for Your Right to Party. Yeah. and they said they always described it to themselves as a joke that went too far right like they made the song as a bit of a joke i think it's fight for your right to play one of their songs i think it's that one they said we made a song a bit of a joke just a bit of a laugh and it just it just kept snowballing before they knew what they're making a video for it and they were being obnoxious and they were making up all these different things. And this is an example of that. Someone has said, what's popular at the moment? Emojis.

Let's make a film about emojis, and before you know it, you've got a budget of $200 million. Mad. Absolutely mad. The Bitcoin Boys. Let's do a film called The Bitcoin Boys. What are we? A string of numbers on a server somewhere. Yeah, cool. Let's do a film called The Bitcoin Boys. What are we? A string of numbers on a server

somewhere. Yeah, cool. Let's do it. Sweet. Lunch. It's lunch. You've got some Bitcoin, haven't you? No. I took my Bitcoin out of the bank of Bitcoin to try and buy a house.

Did they not accept the payment? You should have bought a house off Elon Musk. Yes. Who, by the way, has officially changed the job title of his CFO to Master of Coin. Oh, dear Lord. He's just so kind of... Who's that guy, Joe Rogan? He's so fucking Joe Rogan, creating powder,

fucking books about yeah i hate it i hate it all i enjoy that the tech bros that always reply to his tweets in even though he's never going to see them but they act like they're part of his gang. Really? Right, okay. I'm not seeing a lot of that, to be honest. So basically, some tech bros, they're obsessed with Elon Musk, right? And they love him. I don't know why, but they do. I can't remember why, but anyway.

But what they'll do is they'll behave as if they're all part of the same gang, even though Elon Musk doesn't know that they exist. Like a big squad. So he'll tweet something that's a little bit controversial. So he'll be doing like, he's all of a sudden announcing he's doing something slightly different. And you'll see a load of replies from his tech bros saying,

don't forget the vision, Elon. What are we doing here, Elon? We've got to remember this, that, and the other, Elon. What are we doing here, Elon? It's like, you're not part of his gang. He doesn't know you exist. What is happening here? Like, it doesn't make any sense.

It's like, as if he's reading that and saying, oh no, I'm betraying the bros. It's just weird. I just love how much people kind of like,

hero worship men of his status and men who, you know, have made a bit of coin here and there. Like, it's absolutely, that Dan Bilzerian guy, that fucker with the big beard and the muscles, and the bloke who owns Amazon, Bezos and stuff,

they have, like... It's those things where everyone gets very obsessed about, like, oh, you know, these self-made fucking men. You know, he's got some moody, like, kind of, like, background, like, how he made his money. He didn't make it. He didn't make it he didn't make it on his own um uh elon musk his dad owned a fucking emerald mine or something i'm sorry like it's it's not a fucking rags to riches story none of these are they had money now they've got more

money well done yeah i would certainly i would certainly recommend if you bought if you're bored looking into the background of Dan Bilzerian because that is not a self-made man and that is not. The thing about it which is funny right is that it's such like a 12 year old boy's version of what a perfect life would be like he spends all his time

posting photos on Instagram with like 15 attractive women on a speedboat right and you think oh yeah fucking hell, that's an amazing way to live your life if you're fucking 14 and have just had your first wank. Like in real life, that does not exist. And I understand the blurring of the lines

between Instagram and reality when it's done in quite a subtle way. So maybe there's a filter put on someone to make them look better or they're on holiday somewhere and it looks a bit like that's where they live when they don't. This is a man who is paying loads of women to pose for photos on speedboats

because he got loads of money from a gambling career or a poker career that was set up because his old man had loads of money, right? That's it. That's not a life, right? Doesn't it? What does he do for the 23 hours and 55 other minutes of the day

when he's not posing for that photo? What do you think his life is like? It's like a shit version of, like, the Dragon's Den. He'll just sit in a boardroom in a faceless tower in, I don't bloody know, Miami. He's quite big into your old THC. What's it called? No, your, what's it called? Not THC, the other one in cannabis all right okay um not thc cbd cbd yeah cbd yeah yeah

right i mean he'll just he'll just sit in his boardroom drinking um protein shakes uh while a succession of pasty tech bros just try and sell him a new idea or something that's never been thought of before you know what it reminds me of pete yeah it reminds me of when like you'll see like a really charismatic quite handsome alpha male young bloke who's set up his own business and the whole goal of the business is to is to teach people how to be successful in life and the type of people who sign up for that stuff and they pay 500 to do so are never going to be successful to that level in life because their skills are different, right?

So maybe they're a little bit more reticent or they're not outwardly confident or their skills are elsewhere. Or gullible enough to buy these skates. Yeah, exactly. But the point is that's only one very narrow definition of success, right? So Bilzerian's whole thing seems to be like, oh, well, if you don't respect me, I'll fight you, right? Well, I'm not going to fight you because you'll beat me in a fight.

And look at all these women I've got. Well, I haven't got those women because I'm married. So the parameters are completely defined by him in a way and in a world that doesn't exist. Yeah, that's fair, yeah. And I actually think the reason I'm getting quite animated about it is i think because at its core i probably if i took some time to think about it would be of the opinion that it's actually incredibly damaging not both for young just young men but for young women as well and for everyone who is impressionable

who has access to like an instagram account where they think that is something to aspire to because one it's never going to happen because it doesn't exist. And two, it's not a great way to live your life anyway. So I think it's probably a tip of the iceberg when it comes to how social media is affecting people's lives. But nevertheless, it is still quite damning, I think. I follow one of my favorite Instagram accounts, Broke But Millionaire, right? It's like, I think it's all in broken English. It's all very confusing it it kind of it's it kind of sounds like um when like people from like south asia try and and write inspirational things in

english and they just sound a bit off they just they're not using the the right words the right grammar and it sounds a bit weird um but these guys they do these kind of inspirational stupid fucking uh pictures on Instagram. And it's designed for men like men of our age and younger. So it's pictures usually taken from Peaky Blinders or Dan Bilzerian or Keanu Reeves inexplicably dressed as John Wick. And Jordan Belfort. Is it Belfort? John Belfort, the Wolf of Wall Street, something like that.

And just like inspirational, stupid things saying, be addicted to goals, not to distractions. And they'll use like a picture of someone being addicted to goals and then a picture of someone being addicted to distractions. Now, you probably see this one here. You probably can't actually because it's not very good. At the top of the screen, it's the aforementioned Dan Bilzerian outside a plane and a car.

It's a private plane. Be addicted to goals, right? And then in the bottom half of the screen, it says, not to distractions. And it's him in a Santa suit with a couple of Victoria's Secret models also in Santa suits and brasillas, et cetera. Lingerie. And their whole point is be addicted to goals be obsessed with like getting the the private jet in the car not to dressing

like santa with a lot of models now that's the same guy so your whole message your whole message is that he's doing both those things he's doing both those things he's walking and chewing gum to be quite frank it i i love i love it i cannot stop looking at these things it's like it's famous actors um with stupid fucking inspirational wank messages uh on them and the actors don't even know do they they don't even know they're there of course i spend hours looking at this i really yeah they're obsessed they're obsessed with the same people they're obsessed with elon that. They're obsessed with the same people. They're obsessed with Elon Musk.

They're obsessed with Peaky Blinders. They're obsessed with, like, Iron Man. They're obsessed with fucking the guy who plays Iron Man because they portray success on... Oh, my God, I love it. You should do one. Get set up one like that because you're good with Photoshop,

but it's a steampunk-themed one. No, do one, get set up one like that, because you're good with Photoshop, but it's a steampunk-themed one. No, do one, and every man in the frame has wet himself. Every shot of Dan Bilzerian wearing white chinos is just piss everywhere. Be addicted to goals, not to distractions, and on both pictures he's pissed himself. Not to toilets. Anyway, let's have a break.

We've got to do a break. We're way over time. When we come back, we're going to do some... I'm going to do the inspirational piss account. Inspirational piss millionaires. We're going to do battery brands when we come back and we'll squeeze an email in as well. So don't go anywhere.

We're back after this. I'm writing this down. Inspirational piss millionaires. Hello, I'm Clive Anderson, and My 7 Wonders is my podcast where I sit down with some fascinating guests and ask them one simple question. If you could pick your own 7 Wonders of the World, what would they be?

The guests' choices lead us to some interesting tales, whether it's Omid Jalili being stopped by New York customs. They brought me in for the interview. They said, so what are you doing there? I'm doing a show with Whoopi Goldberg. And the guy said, I'm doing a show with Whoopi Goldberg. As if you are. And I said, excuse me?

I am. That's why I'm going there. He's doing a show with Whoopi Goldberg. I couldn't believe my ears. Olivia Lee eating 120-pound apples at Sogo House. I mean, it is hideously expensive. If I'm just going there once and taking an apple, it's the most

expensive apple you'll ever eat. Or David Baddiel talking about his dad's dementia. The other thing he could remember are his regular insults. So still, when you leave my dad if you say I'm off, he will say you've been off for years. And it's really comforting that he can still abuse you in this way.

Forget the Taj Mahal and the lighthouse of Alexandria. The wonders of the world we talk about are much more unique. Listen to My 7 Wonders now on your favourite podcast app. My 7 Wonders with Clive Anderson is a Stakhanov production. We're back, we're back, we're back, we're back. With the Luke and Pete Shaw, welcome to the, I would say truncated second half because we got a bit excited about crap on Instagram.

The problem with my work schedule at the moment is, Luke, that, you know, we have these little ideas. I just wanted to see a lot of millionaires piss themselves. And I never have time to enact them because we're busy. What we need is personal assistance.

So they can do all the work and then we can do the stupid stuff. Pete, I don't think we can ask producer Nat to set up an Instagram account for millionaires that have pissed themselves.

I just don't think that's going to... I think that's going to mean she's going to want to get a job somewhere else. Should we do some battery brands, Luke? You've had quite a few popping in. Ben P. Salvage.

Oh, sorry. I was just going to give people a little rundown. Just say every single week we try and find new makes and models of batteries. And sometimes we're successful and sometimes we're not. Pete, you go ahead. If you explain it, it sounds crap, but it's not, I promise. Yeah, Ben P. Salvage has been salvaging batteries from things. Big Vinny power batteries, that is definitely not a new player.

We've heard of Big Vinny before, haven't we? Yeah. We've never heard of any other size of Vinny, though, so maybe there are other options there. John Ascombe has sent in Pair Deer batteries, which definitely aren't new players, you're saying. Have you seen that before? Pair Deer. No, producer Nat says they're not new players and I agree with her.

Oh, fair dues. Philip J. Ha has written on Instagram saying his goal is to translate his battery success into becoming a Vice Admiral in the Luke and Pete Army. Onwards through the fog he says he's also sent in Sunbeam lithium batteries. Now, again, my memory isn't great for this sort of caper.

Is that a new player? Doesn't sound like one. No, it doesn't sound like one. And I also think that Philip needs to work out, first and foremost, that you don't have admirals in the army. They're in the Navy. So that's going to be a problem.

You are such a dad. Are we dads? Are we dads? I think we might be dads I mean I think you should be getting the rank right I mean that feels too I'm not a military expert

at all but that sounds pretty basic to me so no new players this week that's disappointing keep them coming in though hello at lukeandpete.com or we're on Instagram

as well and Twitter at Luke and Pete show Peter there's a little thread running through the Luke and Pete show recently about people getting free stuff from their show um peter there's a um a little thread running through the luke and pete show um

recently about people getting free stuff from their dad's work we did it about six months ago it's kind of bubbled back up again um josh has been in touch saying that um he yeah so he he he says following charlie's email on the Monday show about his dad bagging an absolute stash of confectionery from work, this is last Monday, I feel I should also chime in with the fruits of my dad's labour as a window cleaner back in the late 90s. Sounds like it's going to be a porno, but it isn't.

He cleaned many windows around town and a few establishments used to give him free stuff since he's a friendly guy. I vividly remember waking up to four or five pizzas courtesy of pizza hut on a saturday morning just sat on the kitchen counter the chef would cook a few pizza pies with all the toppings and give them to my old man to take home as a boy of about 10 i would eat vast quantities of pizza for breakfast and watch stone cold steve austin flip the middle finger and shout ass a lot. And Josh finishes by saying I also remember my dad coming home with

literal bin liners full of sandwiches and wraps from Pret-a-Manger and enough Chinese food from the local Chinese restaurant to feed us for a week. He's now approaching 60 my dad and is now a postman. I get sheets of free stamps every few months. Cheers and stay safe Josh. Quite a

melancholy end to the email, actually. Yeah, I like it. I mean, imagine getting so many stamps and you've just got nothing to send. That would be the fear for me. I'd have too many stamps. They never run out, though. That's the beauty of them.

Good point. Is that true? Can you get them? I think so. Is that true? I thought they had... I've found stamps down the back of the cupboard that have been there for years

and I've used them. It's always been fine. Oh, well, fair dues. Fair dues. I also want to add, just very, very briefly if I may, this email from Dan in Lisbon, first of all because he's in Lisbon and that's a nice cool place to be listening to the show from. I like Lisbon and I know you do too, Peter.

I've been there a few times. And not just because of the decriminalisation of drugs. Dan says, hi Luke and Pete, as you read the message from a listener last week, the one whose father worked in the Mars factory, I thought back for the first time in years to one of the greatest results of my adolescence.

You're going to love this, Pete. My mum had a pal who worked in the Ginsters factory down in the southwest. As a result of this, every month for a fair while when I was around 13 or 14, a cardboard box would turn up at the house. Inside would be piles and piles of unpackaged cheese and onion slices that had failed to meet production standards.

We're talking slightly broken off lattice work, the occasional hole in a pastry, and this one was the real pearl, the slice that had been overfilled and had walked from the excess of dirty cheese inside oh come on life not to get involved with that i mean water it will be like discovering like a new species of bird or something you'd be like what the fuck is this fantastic he says i love that inexhaustible cheese and onion slice freezer and i can still remember that slightly cardboardy, fresh out-of-the-box flavour today.

What I wouldn't give for one of those today. All the best to you both, Dan and Lisbon. I mean, you can just go and buy one if you want, Dan. Yeah, there's a little Greg's around the corner. That's really got me thinking very seriously about popping around the corner and getting myself a cheese and onion slice. Do you remember a little bit of an unknown bit of Football Ramble folklore? It's when we were first bubbling up and we were just about to get our first new sponsor

and someone rumoured it was going to be Ginsters who were sponsoring us for loads of money. Yeah, Ginsters was on the table. And it never happened. There was money on the table from Ginsters very, very briefly. But as these things usually sort of pan out. And so the refrain every time there's like a possible sponsorship on the horizon we say well when the ginseng money comes in

that is such an in-joke but it's just reminded me of that because we were so excited at no point did I stop to think that oh god it might be ginseng's a bit weird what's that going to involve I don't care

you've got to eat a full like it's a big pillowcase full of overfilled pasties it's a big eating channel What's that going to involve? I don't care. You've got to eat a full, like it's a big pillowcase full of overfilled pasties. It's a big eating channels. Jack, I want to round up the show with this email because it's really, it's really tugged on my heartstrings.

Very enjoyable. Jack Thurwell. Hello, chaps. Hope you and the Stakhanov family are well. I wanted to contribute to a long running trope of the Luke and Pete show, which reared its head again

a couple of shows ago, flying, and more specifically, amateur aviation. My grandad built and flew his own plane in the 80s, flying from an airfield in Washington in the UK, which is now the site of Nissan's UK plant, a lovely part of the world, one of the few places in England that have sort of numbered streets rather than place names.

I don't even really know where it is. Is it in the North East? Yeah, yeah, it's just near, I mean, Nissan's probably near Sunderland. But I remember sort of going back in the day to a computer fair in Washington. I remember sort of being blown away with how the streets were numbered rather than named. So you have like Fifth Street and Sixth Street in the West Coast. Yeah, it's like New York, yeah, but it's Washington in the UK. I wanted to email in about this for ages,

but after speaking to him about it just before lockdown, he showed me a copy of a magazine article about his endeavours, which made me think this really was lapsed material. Look how big sure that is. The article had plenty of details about the cost, effort and budget, and it brought a smile to my face when I read about his then 16-year-old daughter, my mam, not being interested in his hobby whatsoever. Although he sold the plane before I was born,

he's regaled me many times with the tales of flying to lunch across the country with my beloved Nana and their friends in tow. He no longer builds and flies aircrafts. He prefers to spend his retirement by building replica steam engines from scratch. Thanks for the amazing output, including your extra work on the Football Rumble Patreon. Get involved, guys.

But there's are fantastic, there's a fantastic, lovely little kind of magazine. He sounds like an amazing man. Oh, it's amazing. So this guy just, you know, got an elderly 1600 CC Volkswagen engine, completely stripped it down,

you know, made new cylinder heads and stuff to take an extra spark plug. And he's made this little kind of foldy-up thing that you would tow behind your car, effectively, a plane. And then you sort of stretch the arms out and then you've got a big plane. But the quote that really kind of really tugged at my heartstrings

that the magazine kind of reprinted, he sort of said, I never thought a working man could fly. Oh, that's amazing. Isn't that a wonderful thing to say from granddad? He sort of said he just... That's great. Do you know what I'm most impressed by, Pete?

The level of trust that must exist in that family. Because if anyone in my family was building their own plane, up to them, fine. Is anyone else in the family was building their own plane, up to them, fine. Is anyone else in the family getting in it? No, they're fucking not. You won't even let anyone sit on your dad's benches. I will. That's not true.

My dad's benches are a work of art. They're going to be popular in the whole town before long, and it's going to be an amazing legacy for him. Those benches are amazing. But I wouldn't get in a plane that hadn't been developed and made by a professional with some kind of paperwork. That's all I'm saying. A lot of the little one-man, two-man

planes that are flying are kit planes. They just send you a kit and they send you all the bits and bobs and you put it together yourself. That's your own quality. That's why I'm not in them. There should be more to it than that. Oh, dearie me. That's been a fun show. Thank you for joining us.

Look out for the Millionaires, the Inspirational Piss Millionaires Instagram account. That'll be arriving pretty soon. Yeah. Sorry, I just want to round off by saying if Dan Bilzerian is listening and his CBD products do want to sponsor the show, we will still accept that sponsorship.

Yeah. Despite what we said earlier, we could just change it and do whatever you want to do Dan exactly yeah just change the whole thing I will take so much CBD I'll piss myself

so there we go let's get out of here see if that hasn't already happened this has been the look of each other if your grandad's ever flown in a plane he's invented himself

or pissed himself or pissed himself while in flight have you ever pissed yourself while in flight have you drank too many sangrias on the while in flight. Have you ever pissed yourself while in flight? Have you drank too many sangrias on the plane to Barcelona? When have you ever had sangria on a plane?

It doesn't happen. You would be able to get sangria on a plane. Your mind is mad. Cheap cart and sangria on an easy jet to Malaga. Lovely old job. Count me in. Take me back. Count me in. This has been Luke Pichot.

We'll be back on Monday doing the same thing but in the meantime do get in touch with your nonsense hello at lukepeatshaw.com on the emails check us out on Instagram

check us out on Twitter see you soon this was a Staccato production and part of the acast creative network