The Luke and Pete Show - An Over-whale-ming Discovery

Episode Date: December 10, 2020

It’s Thursday, which means Luke and Pete are back for some more nonsense! In today’s episode, Luke discovers the profitable benefits of fishing for whale vomit and the boys decide to give up their day jobs to become Ambergris hunters. We also look into one woman’s spooky discovery in her new house’s basement wall, before diving into some very interesting emails concerning Pete’s broadband difficulties and some particularly sloppy school work. Enjoy!Email in to [e-mail]! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

and it's the lucid peach or it's a thursday you might be listening on a friday you may even be a latey-hatey um saturday consumer of the show welcome to our organ we are looking peach sure i'm pete donaldson i'm joined by luke moore how the devil are you look more on a thursday all right yeah not bad i'm still reading from monday's trip down memory lane but um we'll try to, but we'll try to keep the nostalgia to a minimum on today's show. But yeah, I'm doing okay. How are things with you? How's your week been? It's not been too bad. I'm starting to get a little bit worried about these monoliths. Oh, yeah. One of them a few days ago rocked up in the Isle of Wight, I think it was, and it's the last thing they need, to be honest.

They're mainly COVID-free. And then we've got monoliths slamming down in the Isle of Wight. They're going to think it's the magic of the Wookiee Wookiee Witch. Well, I think, Pete, if any community on Earth are going to be confused by a monolith mysteriously appearing, it's going to be

the good people of the Isle of Wight. We're always kicking the people of the Isle of Wight. I'm mainly kicking the people of the Isle of Wight. We're always kicking the people of the Isle of Wight. I'm mainly kicking the people of the Isle of Wight because I've seen a few Brexit pamphlets in very prominent places on roundabouts. And that's all it takes, guys. I'm going to think your place is a bit of a shit pit if you're going to be like that

and fly Union Jacks everywhere. Sorry, Union flags. Think about the impression you give it over to... Think about it, mate. Eight stone wet through disgusting pinkos like Pete Donaldson. There's a few of them been knocking about. Editor and producer Natalie has dropped a couple more in the running order doc as well.

They're appearing everywhere. There's one at the top of a mountain in a place called Atascadero, which I don't even know where that is. Okay. But, yeah, so... Watch out. It's in California, apparently, which is confusing. Yeah.

I guess the people who are doing this are delighted with the coverage it's getting. I mean, and in many ways, like the monolith appearing at a time you least expect it. Natalie's putting things into a running order. Yeah. The running order that we set up, we set this running order up about two years ago.

You've never once opened it. I've not looked at that for two years. What? I know. There's things in there. Where do you think I get all my great stuff from? Un-fucking-believe. This is seismic.

Right, where is it? You couldn't believe it, right? This is ridiculous. On Monday, where is it? Pete, you couldn't believe it, right? This is ridiculous. On Monday? What would it be? Mate, on Monday, I opened it up and she put a load of stuff in there about my childhood. She never even met me then. It's crazy.

Pete, it's the chair dock you insisted that we set it up. And I can see the changes in the dock and you've never once been in it. I don't know where it is. It's behind about a million football ramble running orders i'll show you it later um all right i wanted to i wanted to bring to the table um a story which i at first i thought was fake but i'm looking at it now and i think it might actually be real and i never knew anything about this right and i don't know if you know about this either,

but this is fascinating stuff. So a fisherman in Thailand discovered a huge blob of whale vomit, right? Ambergris. Oh, you know about ambergris? I've never even heard of it before. Really? Mate, I've talked about it on this podcast, how much I am into finding a big lump of about ambergris? I've never even heard of it before. Really? Mate, I've talked about it on this podcast, how much I am into finding a big lump of greasy ambergris

so I can make a lot of cash. You both know what you're talking about. Anyway, this guy has found one, and he's thinking about the biggest one ever, and it's worth 2.4 million quid. Oh, motherfucker, that's a lot of bile. 100 kgs, mate. Jesus Christ.

That must have been one hell of a whale then yeah he said they tested it to make sure that it was what it was that gave the musky smell they were looking for definitely ambergris 60 year old fisherman he's now got it under guard I think because it's potentially obviously very very

valuable and for those who don't know i.e. that was me but listeners who are don't don't listen as attentively as you pete um it's apparently valuable because it's used to make luxury perfumes it's got this kind of like wonderful greasy horrible vomity smell but it's but it but it's yeah used for um premium uh perfumes when it dries apparently it gets to a really sweet smell which which apparently can make... And it also enables perfume to smell good for longer, basically,

which is kind of like the holy grail of perfume manufacturing. Yeah. I mean, obviously, there are synthetic versions, but I do find it fascinating that there's... I don't think they farm it. I don't think they cut it open from Wales to get it out, but maybe they do. No, I don't think they farm it. I don't think they cut it open from Wales to get it out, but maybe they do. No, I don't think they can, can they?

But I'm almost certain that they can't, and that's why just finding ambergris is one of the last kind of treasure hauls you can kind of get in life, and I am fascinated. Every time I'm on a beach, I'm going, what if? What if it's today? What if I trip over it and I don't i don't realize it's hamburgry what what if yeah it's i i must have i've completely forgotten about this or um or or just didn't maybe you talked about on the show that i wasn't on or whatever

but yeah so what is the reason because apparently it's only produced by sperm whales right and and then even then only by like 1% of sperm whales. And that's why it's so rare. So I guess, I mean, because, you know, the track record of people and whaling is fucking horrendous. But I suppose it's probably not even viable to go out hunting sperm whales for it because it's only produced by 1% of them anyway. And it floats for years and years around without kind of making landfall, I guess.

So, yeah, it's weird. That's a really cool thing, though. Oh, it's amazing. And sometimes I think they sometimes find, like, sealed teeth or something. They find little bits of animals inside the ambergris. Oh, it's just, oh, man. Good.

Exciting. Exciting. We should shut the whole thing in and become ambergris hunters. What I would like to do is, right, I would like to, because it's greasy and yellowy, I think, I would like to just keep on massaging it until my warm hands kind of warm it up a bit and to make a nice and smooth egg. And then my hands would be coated.

I have this very visceral reaction to the idea of finding ambergris. It's kind of like... It's rare that you still... ...to make a smooth egg with ambergris. It's rare after all these years that you can still discuss to me. But with that little monologue there... Imagine just giving a little bite. Imagine giving it a little nibble.

Imagine having your mouth full of sperm whale bile. Do you know what I'd love, right? I'd love to get into it. Imagine a few years' time where, I don't know, say in five years' time we all go off and do our separate things and we go, thanks very much for all the fish, see you later, and we're off. And I'd love the idea of being on holiday with my wife or whatever,

lying on a beach with a cocktail out of a coconut, and I look in the distance and emerging from the sea is a hairy man with something weird looking under his arm. And it's Donaldson who's re-found himself as an ambergris hunter. And he's just got his latest catch and he's staggering up the beach with it. All right. With this foul, stinky ambergris. And I reckon you probably wouldn't even sell it.

Just keep it. I'd go straight to the hotel bar, smack it down with a bottle of whiskey. Yeah, trade it in. We'll just pay off some of my debt. Amazing stuff, right? Oh, lordy. One of the other big stories from the week has been... From the running order, it seems.

Yeah. From the document that I've never seen. That I'm the only one who gets the access to, even though you told me to set it up. The worst thing is, this won't surprise people. No, of course it won't. It will be, really, Pete? You're usually so well put together

and thoughtful about the things you bring to the table. Well, listen to this. Someone on Twitter posted that their sister moved into a new house last week. And when they were moving things into the basement, they found a baby doll's head embedded into the wall. Yes, please. And the photo of it is horrendous.

And loads of people have said, oh, you know, move out immediately. This is a place that's haunted. Kill it with fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a really weird image. Really weird. Did you see it? No, I didn't see it.

So the face is kind of recessed into the basement wall. And it's just sat there like randomly for no reason. Like you'd have to properly bury it into the brick, like for absolutely no reason. And to me to properly bury it into the brick like for absolutely no reason and to me that is it's just so it's just the rest of the is the rest is it not just like they've cut it and glued it to the wall or have they embedded the entire doll's head into the i haven't investigated further i haven't investigated further um but is it emitting any kind of heat or light warmth i don't think so i don't

think so um but i think in the list of things so when apparently when you when you're trying to sell a house the um the the tips that these like psychological experts and stuff will talk about are things like make sure you've got fresh flowers i think generally like some kind of gentle classical music you want the place to smell of like what is it like sandalwood or something like that is coffee do they say put put boiler put a pot of coffee on yeah something like that yeah and also apparently yellow is the most um salesy color apparently right that's good because i got hepatitis so it's fine yellow pallor yeah here's my friend pete he's come to see you today he's got jaundice

um but i don't think um a um embossed baby doll's head stuck into the wall it's going to give people a nice vibe so it's no wonder it's in the fucking basement i'm telling you no it's a bit like snobs in birmingham the uh the the nightclub they just got faces in the wall i was like why have we done this um i'm obsessed with like uh because i was thinking if it was emitting some kind of heat or light or electricity that would be incredibly exciting because they've figured out um i'm in the cuban embassy the cuban embassies or the embassies the overseas territories in cuba um a lot of the american i think maybe french um people who work in those embassies in in cuba um a lot of the american i think maybe french um people who work in those embassies in in cuba and also in uh china uh have been experiencing like these kind of loud popping

sounds yeah it's been going on for like the last couple of years and stuff yeah and what i like about modern science is that they're usually right on the first go because they instantly went it's probably some kind of microwave weapon and it's taken like two years and countless kind of like uh countless testimonials from the staff who worked there complaining about these popping noises and the sounds and the headaches and stuff and the illnesses um couldn't be put down to like a virus or anything uh anything in the water or the food or anything um and uh yeah they sort of went it's got to be microwaves and then two years down the line they went yeah it's micro it has to be microwaves. And then two years down the line, they went, yeah, it has to be microwaves.

It was like when with COVID, they said, it's probably a good idea if we wear masks. And then there was a lot of like, what about-ism kind of like, oh, what about this? That's not going to work with this. That's going to help with this. And then about six months later, everyone sort of went, yeah, masks are probably good, aren't they? Like they could have saved like thousands and millions of people. Thousands of millions? Thousands of millions? Thousands of millions.

Thousands or millions of people across the globe if we'd have started using masks a little bit earlier. So what I'm saying is just get a scientist, get his hunch. Let's have that. Let's go with that. It's fine. Yeah. I'm also less likely to take some kind of

serious in quotes advice from um the type of people who my age of a certain usually of a certain political persuasion who are telling me to use my own mind and think for myself when it comes to a vaccine particularly when the last time I saw them, they were literally trying to make up, cook up their own ketamine on a stove at a house party. I'll take it with a pinch of salt, if you like, not the ketamine. I don't know if that has to be seasoned. But think about what you're doing. Presumably.

Think about what you're doing. The last time I saw you, you were propped at the end of the bar. This is a different person now. You're also on the anti-vaccine kind of bandwagon. Last time I saw you, you were propped up at the end of the bar with your own dad, about eight pints deep, 1pm on a Tuesday, and outside every five minutes smoking cigarettes. If you're worried about your health, mate, keep it consistent.

That's all I'm saying. I've given it up, mate. I think with the vaccine, obviously, I think thalidomide was trending when England signed that agreement with Pfizer and the other companies to supply the vaccine. And obviously, people were talking about that, and everyone else was sort of going, don't be ridiculous, that wasn't a vaccine, and also it wasn't the 60s or 70s.

Anyway, the more kind of, the the better um the better uh what do you call it just similarly the better the better example is that one that was i think swine flu that a lot of um swedish people took and uh and it gave a a statistical proportion uh not a huge proportion but statistical um uh statistically important amount of people, narcolepsy. And so they're talking about that. And I was going, ooh, yeah, that doesn't sound good. And then I'm kind of forgetting about the whole COVID giving me a debilitating lung problem and dogging.

I'm going, I'm going to fucking roll that dice. A lot of the people, a lot of the nurses who have been interviewed about the, as here to probably globally untested Sputnik V vaccine in Russia. It's obviously been put together in India. Like a lot of the nurses are going, look, I've been on a fucking COVID ward. I'll take, I will roll that fucking dice as far as you want to go because it's fucking rank and it kills people. So I'm not going, yeah, I forgot about the actual, when you talk about anti-vaxxers, they also forget that you could actually just flat out die

from the thing that you get the vaccine from. They forget, but they think it's just like a first world kind of like nice thing to have. Oh, yeah, I'm probably not going to drive that Prius. I'll probably just stick with my old car. It's like, no, you will die. You will not have the option to do any of these things do you ever think there's loads of stuff to unpack then and and i think like there's there's like one part of it which

i find absolutely baffling and actually quite frightening is there's been like verified um reports from um doctors and nurses uh i think particularly in the US, saying that there are people who are denying, virulently denying the existence of COVID while they're quite literally about to be having a ventilator shoved down their throat. Like, why are you doing this to me? What is this?

You know, the cognitive dissonance is absolutely incredible and actually frightening and something that needs to be addressed, particularly as it relates to how people are consuming information and then the veracity of that information and and and secondly obviously we're not medical professionals you all right um but you know it has well mind you anyone is these days but no we're not but it has to be said it has to be said that unequivocally that, generally speaking, vaccines work. They fucking work. Right. And and we have to remember to not lose sight of that. And the final thing I would add is, as far as I understand it, because I did read a bit about this the week before last,

is that the the the confusion and the reticence around this particular vaccine, the confusion and the reticence around this particular vaccine about how quickly it's been turned around completely misses the point of what the usual process is for developing a vaccine and and the two main keys as far as i understand is that one is that there are so many more people and so much more resource being donated dedicated to this and it's a completely almost completely unique in how much of a worldwide effort it's been and the second thing is a large part of say it takes eight to ten years for a vaccine to be developed the large part of that is approval for funding reports back uh needing extra money um all this other stuff none of which has necessarily been needed because the admin and the bureaucracy has essentially been taken away because everyone's

been dedicated towards doing it. So look, if it's been, if it's been approved and regulated by the completely independent body, then you, you have to understand and accept that. Right.

And, and so for me, it feels worrying because you see things like little pockets of anti-vaxxer people who don't know what they're fucking talking about. None of whom I've got any kind of medical degree, all of it it which is based on some now widely discredited doctor who's been struck off for linking um vaccines initially to autism in a link that was proven to be completely false and incorrect and they're getting their information off fucking shared facebook posts so essentially choose your fucking fighter choose your fighter right? That's what you've got to do.

Is the JPEG, in this piece of data you are quoting. What's the JPEG compression? Is the JPEG compression. Exactly. Is it, are the blacks washed out? Is there like kind of blocky artifacts all over the picture? Then you are being sold a kipper, my friend. Does it have in the text an incorrect use of an apostrophe? A little minion.

Yeah, has it got a minion as a JPEG? Has it got an incorrect use of an apostrophe? Does it misspell there, there, and there? If so, it's probably going to be false and not been done by a professional. Bear that in mind. Although, having said that, I would like to add, as an addendum to something we said maybe a number of months ago now, now re-facebook um and i'm not about to credit them with anything because they deserve any credit but i did read uh just late last week that they're now looking to

completely eradicate and ban any kind of anti-vax misinformation about fucking time is what i would say but that is going to be key as, because one of the major problems with the situations we're in, not just with vaccines, but politics and polarization and extremism, is to do with most people of a certain age getting their news, in quotes, from fucking Facebook. It's ridiculous. It should never have happened. And also these media companies that are media companies pretending they're not media companies, and they're just like a notice board. What's a notice board? Well, the notice board doesn't push certain algorithmically, you know, algorithmically push certain adverts

for someone selling a bike on a town hall notice board up and push certain things down. So you're not a notice board. You do have an agenda, be it so-called algorithmically or just your own fucking personal taste. You are a media company so you should be uh you you should be um governed by the same bodies that uh that govern everyone else absolutely the moment you the moment you develop any kind of algorithm or impart any type of um

personal um decision making process into that type of stuff is the moment you've got to be regular just simple as that and it's not even that and that's before you even get into some of the decision-making process into that type of stuff is the moment you've got to be regular as simple as that and it's not even that and that's before you even get into some of the activities that are happening in poorer countries and third world countries where facebook are in the vanguard of some you know some appalling behavior so you know it's it's got to be fucking sorted out it's it's already um gone way way too far i'm not not just talking about anti-vax stuff. I'm talking about all kinds of political misinformation that is regularly shown as a funnel to just be essentially radicalizing people

who are prone to radicalization, like whether they're extreme right-wing or whether they are certain things of Islamic terrorism. Whatever it may be, it seems to be that their algorithms are capable of funneling people who are prone to certain extremist viewpoints into a place where they're going to be welcomed, encouraged, embraced, accepted, and stimulated to commit horrendous acts. And it's fucking, it's worrying.

It's fucking frightening. And I would also say on the back of that, if you, Pete, I know, I think you might have got involved in the past with Adam Curtis's work. But if you watch Adam Curtis's documentary, Hypernormalization, available now for free on the BBC iPlayer, it's well worth a turn of the head because it covers kind of some of that stuff.

Obviously, it's a few years old now. It doesn't quite get into the depth or detail of that. But I would recommend that as a view and i would also recommend um ben rose's work on crooked media he does a load of great stuff with pod save the world and others about the um the influence that these types of companies are having on political discourse fascinating stuff in my opinion i like it when he gets angry on pod save the world he's always quite he's good he does a swear word. I love it when he does a swear. He does a little swear.

He occasionally does a little swear, doesn't he? You can tell he feels bad about it because he's a professional. And what happens is, it's quite funny, because what happens is he occasionally pops up on CNN or whatever it may be. But I can tell that, because I try and take in as many different points as possible, and sometimes I'll check out what's happening on Fox News,

on Twitter and stuff, just to see what's going on. And it's funny because they've obviously got someone there. They obviously see Ben Rhodes as a bit of a kind of end-of-level boss of the left kind of thing. And so they've obviously got some kind of poor assistant producer listening through to all this stuff. And every time he swears or something, they go like, foul like foul mouth tirade from ex-obama staffer ben rose like what are you trying to say like a couple of swear words he's like equivalent to what you guys are

fucking doing the thing well the thing about the people who work at fox news and and and i go for the people who do the news and also do the the editorial shite like none of them believe that they're shit they're all liberals they're all fucking well off but they're all that's right only liberals and and they're just they're just it's just fucking theater for them it's kabuki well then when i first i don't know about that specifically with fox but i remember when i first realized after moving to london and a bit of work in the media that um really all the people who worked at the Daily Mail are basically just like me, i.e. not hateful, not right-wing, not right-wing, not necessarily anything wrong with right-wing per se,

but not kind of, you know what I mean, not that type of person who kind of spouts bile everywhere. I realize that that's just a game, right? And the reason, the problem is the people who read things like that or consume that type of media don't realise it's just a game. That's the point. They're being played in a game. They don't realise they're even playing.

That's why it's so sad. That's why it's so inexcusable. It makes it worse. It really does. Right, we're going to take a short break. I forgot we had to do a break. And we'll be back with some of your emails. All right, all right, all right.

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Merry Christmas. And we're back for the Luke and Pete show. We're going to keep this brief because we have got some emails to get through. Lukey Moe, do you want to kick us off or shall I start with one? Did we talk about the Pied Piper of Saipan? I can't bloody remember. We did, yeah, we did. It was my favourite email from last week.

Before we get into the email, I just want to say sorry to everyone before the break for ranting too much. It's all right, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. The difference between my rants and your rants is that mine do not go anywhere. They are angry and passionate,

but there's very little to them um mine's like when you add too much chili powder to a curry and you can only eat five percent of it because it's like this is just too much too much i'm not listening to it um right i want to say hello to andy bailey hello andy and blackpool um hello look and pick my email is on the topic of bad teachers and students from a few months back in my high school design technology class one of my female classmates pushed the teacher to the brink with general misbehaving talking all the time and being suggestive to the teacher oh hello um this caused the teacher to yell get out of my class you slut the class first went silent with a shock and erupted in laughter afterwards um the teacher after removing the

student started a backpedal on his remarks. He began to read as the dictionary definition of a slut, a slovenly woman, a woman who is usually lazy and untidy. And this became something my friend and I would quote on a daily basis and still mention to this day almost 20 years on. Also on the services at my school reports, my art teacher told me my wife was sloppy, but constantly sloppy. At least it's constant.'s not that's not you know it's not me really about yeah i think um i uh i remember my mam uh keris matthews was on the telly in the 90s because it was the 90s and

it was keris matthews um and she was sort of dressed in like like a hoodie and she's dressed a bit rocky and stuff and my mam went oh she doesn't she look like a slut i was like what i was like that's a bit strong and confusing but she meant like she looked a bit kind of unkempt and a bit lazy a bit like you know not caring about her opinions which is obviously not great women judging other women about how they look but her a, a certain generation do actually, or did use that word as a kind of like a lazy woman. Like the idea that women always have to be fucking working, always have to be doing the housework,

very outdated idea, obviously. But yeah, that's, that's where that comes from. Didn't the geezer from UKIP get in trouble for that as well? what, as in?

There was a guy, I think it might've been, there was an absolutely risible UKIP, I mean mean even more risible than general uh ukip guy i think it might have been godfrey bloom um those who aren't aware of him might have to kind of look him up he's quite a comedy character in a kind of in a risible way and didn't he go into a press conference around i think it might have been around the the eu referendum. And he literally walked into a press conference and went, this room's full of sluts. Wow.

Wowzers. And then everyone was like, yeah, I don't think you can really say that. And he was like, no, no, what it meant was it means that, you know, it means that people who live in houses and they're not very clean. And I was like, okay, mate, you dropped a bollock there. He was like a completely like risible comedy character. So I think it has got, it has got, it has obviously got precedent as being used in that way.

But I think, you know, we all have to understand the world might have moved on a bit by now. And also that it means something completely different. Is it fair to, would it be fair to sort of say that, I mean, people who were over um like 50 i'm i'm i'm 40 next year and um still hanging in there 30s um and i um i and at this point i'm sort of looking at ukip councillors and stuff and and people who are in have small you know positions of power and i i used to look at politicians and sort of go i wouldn't even know where to start to get into that kind of caper yeah and then i see local um ukip representatives in hartlepool

and you know he used to work in fucking asda he used to work on the tills and he was thick as pig shit then he was he was a wrestler for a bit like oh let's do you sort of go you sort of go oh god there is quite a low bar for shitty parties. Shitty one issue parties. I think there's a low bar for every political party. I think you have to. Oh, yeah, there is now. There is now. You just have to be a fucking, look at fucking every frontbencher

for the Tories. They're just all trolls, all of them. Trolls just owning the libs. That's all they've got. They don't stand for anything. So you do sort of go, the bar is so low to improve the nation it is so low you don't have to be that good and that's sad someone made someone made a point um someone made a point um on twitter might have been the weekend just gone where um he i think he came

the guy who was tweeting came from the point i think, I think he might have worked for NASA in the 90s. Right. And he said that in the 90s, I think he was maybe even literally talking about the year 1990. And he said, in 1990, I was part of a team, or my husband or my wife was part of a team, whatever, who were literally trying to work out how we could slingshot a spacecraft around all the different planets in

the solar system to get it to travel as far as possible and i think it was the voyage of spacecraft uh to travel as far as possible to kind of see how far we could send a satellite and or or an object into space blah blah and the point he was making and then and he and he had linked into a tweet by a absolute hack in american politics called jim jordan who even as we sit here today refuses to acknowledge the result of the election because essentially he just he wants to suck donald trump's cock right and that's all he wants to do and that's like his mo that's like his mo um he's as i say over in the u.s he's performing to an audience of one even though donald trump isn't even

anything more than the lame duck president now. The point he was making was that the disconnect between the ability and talent and achievements of so many sections of our society, particularly when it comes to science and technology, and then the representatives that we as a nation or a country or a world elect is so far apart of their almost beggar's belief. You've got people who can't even carry themselves of any kind of basic dignity or politeness, yet they represent whole swathes of people, of populations. It's staggering. It's absolutely staggering. And you're absolutely right, by the way. Particularly over the US, a lot of politicians in the US,

they don't even have any political positions. They don't have anything that they actually believe in or anything they stand for. And it's frightening, man. It's absolutely frightening. Anyway, I don't want to get into politics again because we did a bit of that before the break. Peter, it's an anonymous emailer here. I guess I can provide the details

to you off air because he's offering a broadband solution. He says, hi guys, please keep me anonymous. i started listening to you a little over a year ago while i was bedridden in the hospital for seven nights after snapping my angle angle snapping my ankle horrifically which i think pete would love to hear about um i found the pod and listened to it literally 18 hours a day i've actually worked for virgin media for a number of years, and I remember being astonished at the amount Pete used to pay for his broadband.

Can I help in any way? Virgin do quite good speeds and might be a good option. Let me know. Happy to help. Also happy to forward pictures of my broken ankle if needs be. Cheers. What do you think about that, Peter? Not the broken ankle.

I think we all know what you think about that. Well, I think the reason why i was paying someone so much money for my broadband was that there were no um fast broadband solutions in any um flavor uh in the soho area um now i'm not there anymore i'm in a place where is also quite badly um kind of networked as well quite far away from the substation whatever the hell you call it so i have had a look, to be honest, mate. And thank you so much for getting in touch. What I like about this is people probably think that we get emails

like this all the time. We never do. And it's so lovely that, you know, having a position of some notoriety allows people who can help out to get in touch. So thank you for that. But I'm almost certain that my postcode would preclude me from getting involved in Virgin Media. At no point is he offering you some kind of better deal.

He's just saying, look, I'll have a look into it if you want. I mean, I could have a look. Virgin could do some more right deals. I mean, it's not jobs for the boys. He's just saying, look, have a look. See what you think. Have a look. Go on the website.

have a look see what you think have a look on the website i do so i have a talk about line but then i've um i've i've got a bt business line uh coming in in in the distant future i would like to say also that people what is worth remembering to everyone listening that there is no amount of broadband the world that exists that will cover what pete wants it for you just you're just a pervert for it you just want to you just want to sit in your house knowing you've got the best available. That's all it is. That's all it is. Yeah. Yeah. I,

yeah, I, I am a capacity monster. I just want to know that if I needed to download, I'm a size queen. If I needed to download a Call of Duty, uh, World of War,

uh, update in five minutes, I could do. That's all. That's all I want. I just want to know I could do that. Yeah, it's available to me if you've got the option. I want to finish up with this email from Roger,

who's been very patient. His email's been in my writing order for a long time, and I've never got around to reading it. So I'm going to read it now. Roger says, hi, guys. Long time listener here. I'd like to tell you a tale that relates to a teacher who took us for a games lesson where we had a casual game

of rugby we divided into two sides and started to play and our games master who was also in rugby boots and kit joined in catching the occasional ball and passing it on at some time into the game i received a pass tucked under my left arm and ran for the line at this point mr jones who was coaching and not on one team or the other decided to body slam into me well above waist height, bringing me down onto my left shoulder with his full 16 stone bulk. Mr. Jones was an ex-club player in South Wales, Neath, I think, and also trialed for Wales.

As a scrawny 12-year-old, 12, my body could not take the weight and my collarbone broke, resulting in a trip to hospital, time off school, and a a very very apologetic teacher this was in 1969 and it had been more recent had it been more recently would have suffered severe consequences and the school probably would have been sued as it was he got away with giving me a pat on the back and praising me for my brave run for the line years later years later i was on the skiing hall down at a very innocuous tumble and the same collarbone snapped through obviously weakened causing me to sit out the remaining six days skiing uh this accident aside uh teachers and he uses quote quotes for accident obviously teachers in the 60s 70s were sometimes extremely violent the punishment meted out while they still

could and i thought it might be interesting to hear of other experiences from the hands of Demon Headmaster and other such teachers. I knew some wonderful teachers, but it's also the bad ones. It seems to be the bad ones that stick in the memory. Keep up the good work, Roger. I remember when I was in year seven, so the very first year of senior school, I remember one of the PE teachers,

this guy called Mr. Bradshaw, and he was a bit of a dude, to be fair. He used to hold a rugby ball under his arm and he used to say to like 10 of us, I guess we'd only been like 11 years old, but he'd say to like 10 of us, tackle me, boys. And you'd try and get the ball off him.

It'd be impossible. He'd just be throwing you on the floor and stuff. It was great fun at the time. I don't remember anyone getting injured but it's pretty full on I guess you would better get away with that now what I liked about that email

was the apologies of the teacher followed by the props pun intended of sort of saying well done for the brave run to the line

absolutely smacks of a teacher breaking it like oh well done mate you did very well it's like saying don't tell mum to your sister or brother or something I remember CDT absolutely smacks of a teacher breaking it. Like, oh, well done, mate. Oh, yeah, trying to get out. You did very well. It's like saying don't tell mum to your sister or brother or something. I remember CDT, wood technology, put my hand in the belt sander,

blood everywhere. I remember the teacher giving me massive love for how good I am at CDT, even though I was absolutely terrible and I'd just mangled my finger on this thing but he's just clearly worried about uh i knew at the time he was worried about what the what the consequences were going to be for me um unsupervised messing my finger up in a in a circular i don't know what it is about if i were a teacher and i saw a 12 year old you and no point would the word unsupervised be entering my mind. That's all I've got to say about that. He's made another

sword. Oh, Lordy. All right, now let's get back out of here. This is the end of the Luke and Pete Show Thursday edition. We'll be back on

Monday for more of this jazz, this Honda jazz. You got anything to say to clear up this dirty mess, Luke? Yeah, I just wanted to say that it might

even be a revolutionary moment on Monday because people have actually discovered the running order and you never know what you're going to get

I had no idea it's only going to make the show easier it's going to make me lazier that's all I'm saying like the seminal

Welsh indie band McCluskey once said in their song titles she will only bring you happiness

see you later see you later see you later this was a staccato production and part of the a-cast creative network