The Luke and Pete Show - Another million lost

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

What do the people who go on Love Island and Question Time have in common? That is the question Pete is answering on today’s show and the fact he doesn’t respect them is only one part of it…Elsewhere, Luke FINALLY reads the email about motorcycle greetings and a listener tells us about an interesting meeting he had with Paul Daniels in a toilet.Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One thing I would say about you, Peter, is that you always smell very nice. Okay. And you're going to take this the wrong way. Yeah. So try and limit your reaction to it. I don't know if people would necessarily expect that. That's fair. But you do always smell really nice.

I look like Pigpen of Snoopy. I just don't think you look like someone who gives a shit about that kind of thing. Right. And then when you do, it's a really pleasant surprise, which I think in many ways is helping to elevate the pleasure.

Elevate the product. And how nice you smell. And also, the lasering off of the sweat glands and all that kind of stuff, because you used to get a good old sweat patch going on.

Yeah, but I never, well, so I looked smelly, but I didn't smell smelly. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So I think people would say the same about me.

Like, quite unkempt. Well, you're wearing a t-shirt and a shirt on the top to protect you. Yeah, but I don't sweat, do I? Famously, I don't really sweat. Famously, you don't sweat. I'm not quite cricketer Alistair Cook, who never sweats, apparently. Good celebrity shoes. Yeah, exactly. But I'm

not really much of a sweater. So there's not as much chance for the sweat to dry and therefore smell, particularly in the orifices and crevices of my body. Rory, shut the studio door. Let's make a hot box. Salute and Pete Shaw. Sweet beans.

Sweet beans. Pete Donaldson and Luke Moore with you doing what we do kind of best. It's the third best thing we do. For me, it's very difficult for me to be honest with myself about what I do do best. Yeah. You'd be writing a very short list and then sort of... Yeah. And I'm down on it at the moment

because we're having the bathroom done, which makes me feel beyond useless, right? Hocky-toe. So I'm like, I'll look at the Bulgarian builder and I'll think to myself, how on earth is he going to do that? How on earth is he going to turn this bathroom

into something beautiful? It's just a tile. It's just a tile. He just mixes up some adhesive, puts it down, gets his spirit level out, and sticks it down. Sticks the tile it's just a tile he just mixes up some adhesive puts it down gets his spirit level out and sticks it down

sticks the tile and I go oh yeah well you can put one down I reckon we could both do one it's just fitting them in with all

of the others when you get to the edges it's the problem isn't it definitely get yourself a little tile cutter

yeah I'm also asking like really shit questions the tile cutters are amazing by the way because you think they're going to be a lot more

involved than they are. It's just a blade brother. But it just does like a crease in the tile and they just snap it. I think that's to me that's really exciting because it's like dangerous. Right. It could snap anywhere. Do you not spend ages in like B&Q just

wandering around the different tools that you can buy? Imagine what it's like Pete. No I don't do that because I can't use any of them. But imagine what it's like doing some kind of refurbishment to my house when I'm in. Right, okay. Because you're quite chatty, aren't you? Yeah.

You never get anything done. Mimi told me off last week for being too overbearing. Because I'm just genuinely interested. Yeah. If someone said there was a problem with your overbearings in your house, I'd be like, oh, trouble. Exactly. I panicked.

I was like, can't do that but the thing that's particularly frustrating for those guys working is that I want to talk about everything

but then they'll just say okay mate and then they'll think oh he's into this and good on him it's great to have

him around because he knows his stuff and then they'll go do me a favour he just popped down and turned the water off and I'll go, do me a favour, mate. You just go and pop down and turn the water off. And I'll go, no.

I don't even know what that looks like. So I can't do that. Turn the tap on and turn the tap off. It's off. Yeah. Is it?

I can't do it. Do you know where your stopcock is? Yeah, I do now. I don't think I know where mine is, which is a terrible bit of oversight from me.

But I think most people are the same. I think it's under the stairs. Ours is outside. Where the mice are. Oh. Yeah, you have to go downstairs, put up the cover

and put it around with a little tool. I just need to know everything about my house. I've spent most of Saturday drilling and re-screwing in some decking. Some of my decking is kind of a bit wonk.

It gets very wet, obviously, and then it dries, and then the wood starts to warp a little bit. So I'm just sort of constantly just going... Who did it the first time, then? Oh, I don't know. Whoever was in the house before. Was it a bit of a shit job? I don't think it was a shit job.

They'd just been kicking around for a while. And it's just one of those things where it's like, I cannot afford new decking. I just can't. What is it, really? It's only about 10 planks of wood isn't it

some screws yeah but I just think the joists that they're screwed into are a bit rotten I've got an idea what what room in your

house do you use the least well just get the floorboards up that's what I was doing with the picket fence outside

because some of the slats there are rotten so I'm pulling off the slats from around the corner and repositioning them in the front.

Like a green grosser. Do you live in a haunted house? A little bit, yeah. Do you live in that house with Stranger Things, season four? You don't know because you haven't only watched a couple of episodes. I saw the Kate Bush song and I was like, oh, I have to go and buy that. I saw a brilliant, I'm going to say,

contribution online from someone the other day about that. Saying like, I can't remember the exact details, but it was along the lines of they were doing the usual thing that probably we used to be like when we were kids as well. About how you love a certain type of music, but then you get a little bit insecure when other people start liking it. Yeah, okay. When it becomes popular or whatever. It's quite a common trope, as I'm sure you know. And this person was kicking off about how people start to get into Kate Bush because of Stranger Things.

Right. But then they accidentally included the detail that they'd been listening to Kate Bush since, quote, at least 2004. But I think there, they're just trying to make sure that everyone knows that they're young. You know what I mean? Oh, it's a double hit.

I'm cool, but I'm also still young. You know what I mean? Oh, they go, it's a double hit. Yeah, so they can't. I'm cool, but I'm also still young. Yeah, they cannot get, they need everyone to know that they're still young and that they're working really hard to educate themselves musically. I remember at Cape Bush, do you remember when she came back

and did those couple of gigs? Yes, I do. About the town. It was Hammersmith Apollo, I think. Yes. And I remember I was on air at the time and Danny Baker was doing jokey tweets. Right. On Twitter. Don't get into too Danny Baker was doing jokey tweets on Twitter.

Don't get into too much detail about his jokey tweets. He loves a jokey tweet. That went awry, we should say. He was saying that he was at the gig and he kept on telling lies about what was happening. Oh, David Bowie's just turned up. And I was on the radio going, David Bowie's just turned up. You've got to suck it in. Absolutely.

A reputable news source. I'm in sync, just reading out stuff. I'll say anything. You know that back in the day, and that's part of the reason why I think the BBC don't really break that many stories still now, although maybe that's a bit out of date. Back in the day, it was like the common practice.

You had to get another source to stand the story up. But now, because of the internet and stuff, people are just rushing to break stuff. Because I think what happens is people think a lot of misinformation is about the algorithms a source to stand the story up. Yeah. But now, because of the internet and stuff, people are just rushing to break stuff. That's how, that's part, because I think what happens is people think a lot of misinformation is about the algorithms of social media, which it is,

but also at the root of that, no one does what we were taught back in the day. Yeah. About how to responsibly stand up a story, right? Or not we, because I don't really do journalism, but a lot of people I know did.

And so now you've got people rushing for stuff. And what you've explained there is fucking completely irrelevant because it's only a Kate Bush thing, but that is what actually fucking happens. Yeah. Exactly that is what happens

all the time on the internet and the internet now. Yeah, and people, reputable people, just simply think that if they tweet, it's not really announcing anything. It's just kind of...

Do you think there's an element that older people just don't think the internet's real, so they don't give a shit about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's why people get caught that's why that TV doctor was embarrassing bodies

he got in trouble for just randomly tweeting about Dr Christian Jessop I think it was him wasn't it strange looking chap I mean aren't we all I'm not complaining he's quite good looking isn't he

in a kind of robot-y way I think he's got quite an odd manner I think odd manner if you were if he was your doctor yeah and I think you he was your doctor, and I think you would be like,

okay, he's a bit odd. I guess they're all really good people that things are odd, maybe. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Well, yes, he was facing bankruptcy. Dr. Christian Jessen. Jessen, that's it, not Jessup, yeah. He had to pay a libel fee to Arlene Phillips for some fucking reason.

He basically said that he tweeted false allegations that Northern Ireland's First Minister was having an extramarital affair. That's Arlene Foster, isn't it? Sorry? Did I say Phillips? Yeah, Arlene Phillips is the judge on Strictly Come Dancing. I was like, this is fucking confusing.

Oh God, I've got one on my head now. I've got one on my head now. Yeah, but why is he getting involved in that? I don't know why he's getting involved in any of it. I don't know why he's getting involved in any of it. So he was ordered to pay £125,000 in libel damages. That's one spicy tweet, baby. After having an extra...

Would you say that's a spicy meatball? Legally, that's a spicy meatball. Yeah. If you are on the defence, you're going... You're probably within your rights to go, oh, come on, my lad. One tweet, 125 bags on my lad one tweet 125 bags

it was one tweet can you negotiate is there a negotiation probably not probably not that surely gets broken down after all are you really getting

120 mind you he's a doctor and he's on the telly out of all the people who could probably afford it in his defence

you're following a doctor and I'm on the telly and back in the 80s that used to mean a lot. Well he started to go fund me to get some money. I don't know why anybody would pay him that money.

Because he broke the law. Because he broke the law. Why is he getting involved? Why is he tweeting about the First Minister of Northern Ireland for crying out loud? He's absolutely mad. He won't be doing it again

for crying out loud. Do you think he will do it again? He might do it again. I do want to talk about Kate Bush because I think she's an interesting character but before we do is it important to stress

and I kind of feel like it is that for people our age growing up say when you're old enough to know a bit about the world but not old enough to know how it really works

say about 12 or whatever how big a deal it was to be on the telly yeah now everyone's on the telly now you're probably really technically you could argue, I think,

in a kind of holistic way, that because of mobile phones and cameras and the internet and the platforms that you've got access to, everyone is on the telly. I think it's harder

to get on the telly as a person who's going to get paid for it. Now? Yeah. Because people would just do it. Because people, well,

you kind of, to get a career in television, you kind of have to have a bit of heat that you've built yourself. So you've got to spend years and years curating a brand, getting the numbers up, and then getting your spot on the telly, I think. Yeah, I understand your point. I don't necessarily even disagree with it. But on the other hand, I think, I mean,

I caught a bit of question time on Thursday of last week. That's not something I watch generally. Rory Stewart was on it, who I think I mean I caught a bit of question time on Thursday of last week that's not something I watch generally Rory Stewart was on it who I quite like and find it quite interesting so I caught a bit of it was that the one in Newcastle

yes I think so there was a kid on it called Tom Harwood who's this kind of self-styled almost like is he the GB News kid

yeah almost like unfathomably arrogant young parody of a young conservative yeah because they were good it was it was that little almost like unfathomably arrogant young parody of a young conservative yeah because they were good

it was who's that little twerp from Sunderland Durham sort of area that's him isn't it no no no he's not from Durham

okay you're thinking oh you're Darren Grimes Darren Grimes I'm thinking Darren Grimes so he's like Darren Grimes but not as odd more handsome

from public school yeah yeah so everyone thought that Darren Grimes was going to get a role on GB News. That lad got the young fascist spot. Crypto fascist spot, yeah. And so he's on there,

and Grimesy was left behind. Grimesy? Grimesy was left behind. Was he fuming? Because apparently, according to the GB News website, Grimesy is a... So he is now.

Oh, okay, right. But I think a few people left. So he had a tantrum, did he? Yes. I don't think he had a tantrum, but I think he just... He thought that he was going to be on there. They've gone down the list. Yeah, exactly.

Anyway... I think that... The point I was going to make, yeah, the point I was going to make with young Tom Hartwood, and I'm saying that because, not that you'll ever listen to this, but I think he hates being called young. I think, I thought to myself, I'm not saying I'm saying that because not that he'll ever listen to this but I think he hates being called young. I think, I thought to myself, I'm not saying I'm clever,

I'm not saying I, you know, I'm the barometer for this but it's, you know, this is our show, this is my opinion. I was thinking to myself,

this to me is absolutely stunning how clearly unintelligent this boy is but he's still able to do this on a flagship BBC show and in the words of Bunk Morland from The Wire it makes me sad how far we've done Phil do you know what I mean

so on one hand you're right but on the other hand I suppose what then rises to the top are the people who will just do anything to be on telly

and whether they get paid for it or not and the BBC has a long especially on Question Time has a long sort of history well recent history of just platforming any kook

who would just sort of say something outrageous for the sake of eyes on eyes on tweets there's definitely a school of thought I know there's a lot of people

who who are very angry and they have been for some time about the BBC's role in promoting someone like Farage like

and then there's like a genuine I've spoken to some interesting people about that who are still, even now, very angry about it, even though it was, what, seven, realistically, what, eight years ago? Because the Twitter tale is wagging the dog. We think that tweets, popularity, retweets,

quote tweets, anger, gnashing, et cetera, is good for the show. It's good for people getting excited and wanting to watch the show. It's not the case. People will just sort of... There'll be more people complaining about somebody being on a show than actually watching it because of that person being on the show, I think. You still enjoying Love Island, by the way?

Who's your favourite character in Love Island? Oh, Bonkey. Bonkey, he's good. He's always bonking, that lad. I can see why they call him Bonkey. Weird about those swimming trunks he wears, though, isn't it? I know, yeah. It does not conceal his erection.

Completely made of elephant skin. It's weird. It's bizarre. And the lesson about his fungal foot infection. Oh, don't go swimming in that pool after him. Did you think he was going to get with Bunty or not? I just found it very bizarre that he managed to eat a whole telephone pole. It was a weird challenge.

I thought he was never going to do it. He's never going to do it, but he got to the end of it, didn't he? Yeah, he did. Darren Grimes look at his picture that's a picture he signed off and I'm someone you know what

and I know how this works because as part of the ramble as part of stack I regularly get photos of me that I don't even remember being taken put online and I'm not happy with them

none as bad as that I mean I would never run out of punches it'd be a pleasure to put my punches on that little face, to be honest.

No. The disgusting left. Isn't it? And the disgusting violent. Violent left. Because your punches are very weak. They are very weak.

Oh dear. Yeah. Would you like Darren Grimes in Love Island? I think he'd get on with everyone. I know someone. There are little Tories

in Bloody Love Island. I know someone who I'm not going to name who was, had in theory the opportunity to go into Love Island but was told that if he wanted to do it, so he's a he, so he gives you a little bit of a clue, he had to buff up. Buff up, right.

And he couldn't be bothered. And so he didn't do it. And I find that interesting because there's no normal people on it, as far as I can see. Well, it's almost like Oscar season, isn't it? You've got to campaign for it.

Have you really? Is that how they do it now? Yeah. In what way? They're all influencers, aren't they? They've all got a bit of a following. I thought they were like just handsome firemen or something.

Handsome firemen! No, they're all influencers, aren't they? They've all got like, you know, 40,000 Instagram followers minimum. I used to like it when the internet was kind of nascent and its relationship with television, which was seen as the far more senior medium at the time,

was so kind of uneasy that it would be like, I don't know, you'd get like, say Rylan, right? Rylan, who was like really talented and really charismatic and in my view, like a great presenter and very self-aware as well. He would be discovered just by turning up at Pop Idol or whatever. Whatever the fuck it was. But then people would say,

oh, no, actually, what happened was he had an agent, and he'd do all this other stuff, and he was on the short list for TOWIE and all the rest of it. But back in the day, way before that, people did used to get discovered, right? Yeah. Like the criminal with the mugshot was really handsome. Remember him?

Well, I mean, he went through a different way, didn't he, I suppose. I mean, the thing about him is like, you hear that story and you go, oh, that's morally kind of a little bit questionable. Fucking hell, he's

handsome. Do you know what I mean? He is one of the most handsome I've ever seen. And the lighting in those booths is not

favourable either, is it? No, this is the mugshot designed to make him look like a criminal. And he looks like probably the most handsome man I've ever seen

absolute bewer yeah what an absolute bewer so yeah I don't know what point I'm trying to make but anyway he's horny

he's just horny on a Monday would you like to see him in a prison cell with Darren Grimes yes I would yes I would do you feel Pete do you

what part of it here let me ask you this question because I think our listeners will want to hear this you'll say about people like Darren Grimes oh um you know you'll call him what you call him Pete, what part of it here? Let me ask you this question, because I think our listeners will want to hear this. You'll say about people like Darren Grimes, you'll call him what you call him, and you'll use the word, for example,

to be a Tory as an insult, right? And there might be some people listening to this show... Unrepentantly. Yeah, but I'm going to ask you about that. There might be some people listening to this show who go, you know what? I voted Conservative back in the day. I'm not an unreasonable person. I don't want people to be turned away

and drown in boats in another terrain. I vote Conservative back in the day. I'm not an unreasonable person. I don't want people to be turned away and drown in boats in the Mediterranean Sea. I vote Conservative for whatever reason. What do you say to those people? What do I say to those people? Well, the party's changed. Catch up. So you're unrepentant about saying that you'd like Darren Grimes

to befall some kind of misfortune? I'd let him hurt his ankle because of the things he says. Ankle's a big thing for you, isn't it? It's the worst of the worst. Yeah. Speaking of like bad pictures that you were talking about

a little bit earlier on and Grimes' little face, I was in a school... It was weird that he was married to Elon Musk as well, by the way. What? Grimes.

Grimes, yeah, good stuff. It's solid stuff. Grimesy. I saw Grimes DJ at Primaveritive Sound last weekend and it was a fucking bismal carry on

now which one it wasn't Darren Grimes it wasn't Darren Grimes I think if Darren Grimes

it was Darren Grimes he'd probably play some bangers he'd probably play some Abba some fucking party stuff you don't want it

why because he's gay no because he's been dancing you can imagine he's very uncool right I could see him

I could see him I could see him being like a yeah like a cheesy I don't even know if I knew he was gay disco DJ anyway carry on I'm just thinking

about Darren Graham's DJ you wouldn't want to use those decks after him that's all I'm saying he's not an absolute is he

no he's not is that a joke about him having a wank yeah so on Friday I was in a in a school. A friend of ours

needed a bit of help with the careers day at their school. Yeah, I heard about this. So I took a mic in and basically, there was me, Jeff Banks,

the fashion designer, a fireman, a policeman, an insurance underwriter, weirdly. Or walking to a bar. Or walking to a bar. Or walk into a bar. They were all in the school of the career stage,

basically telling the kids what they do for work and what they might want to do when they get older. Nice. I is... What the fuck were you doing there? I know. A podcast creator. Is that...

People are so into podcasts now, they want schools to... No, they just run out of people to begin, didn't they? Right, fair enough. Use the story, yeah. So I went down, got me like... So I said, instead of explaining what I'll do, I'll just come down with a microphone,

we'll make our own little podcast in the hour that we've got with the two classes, and we'll create a little podcast. I said it all about. That's really nice. It was a fun, really, really fun afternoon. It really was. But these are the pictures that they've, they've taken some screenshots of me,

of me clapping, of me doing some teaching in the classroom. You look great. That's not so great. I look like I'm having an aneurysm or something. Was it an enjoyable experience? It was enjoyable. At one point, I got the kiss. Were they naughty boys?

It was like a... He was just being brilliantly disruptive. Was he behavioural problems or something? No. How did you deal with it? No, he didn't have behavioural problems. He was just being brilliantly disruptive was he behavioural problems or something no how did you deal with it no he didn't he was just being a little shit

and I was like good every class needs a little shit yeah I loved it give an example of the names

he called you he didn't direct his ire at me but he kicked a couple of bags threw a couple of bags against the wall he was very angry

oh I'm sad I missed it that sounds great Rory bleep his name, mate. Yeah. But the funny thing that made me laugh was the... I could tell a story.

I had one section, I got the kids to interview their teacher. And come up with some questions for the teacher. A lot of them was trying to out the teacher. A lot of the kids were just trying to out the teacher. And of them was trying to out the teacher a lot of the kids

were just trying to out the teacher and I was like yeah they're not going in there they're not going in the show so they've got to edit it out it's the most offensive

podcast I've recorded in five years in a school you've got a lot of experience editing out shit I know right Peter let's have a quick break

when we come back I really I think our listeners based on the response to our, I think our listeners, based on the response to our shows last week, our listeners really want an update on one or two things. So we'll get to that after this break. Lovely. On each step with Peloton,

from their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.

Welcome back to the Luke and Pete show with myself, Luke, and that man there, that gentleman there who's caressing a bottle of room temperature diet coke, which is allowed in the studio because, of course, it contains no sugar. I didn't think there was a I mean, people don't seem to listen to the rules anyway,

so mine's got a top on it. I think that's the important thing. I was here when the studio was built, and I was given a very stern talking to by the chap who signed the whole thing off, saying do not allow any sugar in the studio. I've stuck to it. If other people haven't, that's their problem.

What about your sweetness in your body? You can't... I said to him, we are going to be having quite a lot of sweet beans, but we'll try and replace the sugar with aspartame or some kind of other sweetener. Um, Peter,

um, the lady whose hand famously fell off. Right. Okay. Any updates? Not seen her since, to be honest. I think it's,

you've, you've made a little bit too much out of this. I haven't, I haven't made enough of it. People emailed in about it someone emailed in saying someone tweeted

saying what's your issue Luke you can clearly lose a hand just because it's contained within the skin it's fine someone said

it was Adam Walker said it's called degloving but it's not called degloving that's when the skin comes off if anything

it's gloved too well yeah that's what Dan over gloved if anything Dan replied saying degloving. It's not called de-gloving. Because that's when the skin comes off, isn't it? If anything, it's gloved too well. Yeah, that's what Dan... Over-gloved, if anything. Dan replied saying de-gloving is when the skin is removed like a glove. Yeah, weirdly enough. It sounds like a full wrist dislocation, but don't Google image it. I think I haven't made enough of it. I think that a woman fell over and broke her wrist,

and you decide to frame that in a strange, strange way. That's how she described it to me. I think... So if... Didn't Lars Votten, didn't he do his Tib and Fib? Yes.

Isn't that technically he's lost a foot? I think he'd be very surprised to know that. I've seen the photos of Lars in the hospital bed and he's just got a broken leg. Oh.

I haven't actually heard from him since. I hope he's okay. Oh God. He called me, he called me on the Saturday, I think, on morphine, saying,

quote, he wasn't sure if he'd be in on Monday. And I've literally not heard from him since. I said, don't come in on Monday. Do not come in on Monday. Right? And I haven't heard from him since. I hope he's okay.

Earlier on, Peter, we were talking about Kate Bush. I really like Kate Bush. Do you like her? Okay, is that controversial? Do you like her? Yeah, I'm not... I mean, I've only heard a few songs, to be honest. I think she's really, really good,

and I think people should give her more respect. Right. And she's not helped herself by being a recluse, a total recluse. Didn't Alan Park, didn't Steve Coogan, when he sang the, did he sing a Kate Bush medley? He did. No, me, no, you are one of them.

Kate Bush phoned him, I think, and said, thank you, I met for coffee. And sort of said, so I don't think she's a full recluse. I think she met Stephen King for a coffee and thanked him for singing her music so well. And he was like, I was taking the piss. Are you suggesting that Kate Bush isn't a recluse because not enough people are remembering to ring her? Yeah, give her a ring.

I'm not a recluse. She's the phone never rings. No one asks me to do anything. Give her a ring for crying out ring. I'm not a recluse. She used to phone, never ring. No one asked me to do anything. Give her a ring for crying out loud. I did hear that story, yeah. And I think she's quite eccentric. I think she's probably not someone who's massively, or she certainly wasn't at the time,

massively plugged into the Matrix, the popular stuff. Yeah. So I think maybe she just thought he was some kind of light entertainer or something. But anyway, I think she's great. I think it's good that they used that music

that Run Up The Hill song to kind of open her music up to a whole new generation of fans and it's a measure of how sad my life is now

that when I heard and you'll be a bit like this as well when I heard the music Run Up The Hill and Stranger Things I use it so much I wonder how much

it cost to get the sync on that yeah I think with... Nowadays, though, you can... Chris Broughton, he licensed, I think, Wild Boys from... Not Spandau, Bali.

Who sang Wild Boys? Duran Duran. Duran Duran. You can license tracks now for... It's a good chunk. It's 150 quid, but it's still quite affordable for YouTube videos. For YouTube videos, yeah.

But obviously for telly. Do you know who's got the best YouTube channel? Who? Justin Hawkins from The Darkness. Mate, I've already said, mate, I'm all over it. It's so good.

I recommended that like five months ago, man. It's great. Get on the, get on the dog pile. I'm on it now, it's great. He just, he has a pull short these days for reviewing like old hands,

old singers like you know Jon Bon Jovi yeah yeah and David Coverdale and stuff and reviewing their terrible performances

he could not bring himself to criticise Axl Rose did you see that at any point he dressed like Axl Rose for the video and could not bring

him to criticise him at any point which I actually really like the thing I like about his channel is it's so positive and he's so

knowledgeable he'll do this thing for those of you who don't know who he is, he's the lead singer of The Darkness, who were a big band about 20 years ago, like a glam rock kind of metal band. And he will, his thing, he's got a lot of different things he does on his channel, but one thing he does that I particularly like

is he will play a song, a new song, for the first time, and then he'll break it down. Yes. But he's so good at it. He's honestly so good at it. I can't believe that he hasn't done a load more prep than he clearly hasn't, because I saw him review a Red Hot Chili Peppers song, and he just was able just to play it in about 10 seconds and work out what it was and the key it was in and all the rest of it.

I just thought it was very good. Yeah. It's very enjoyable watching proper musicians do proper music he's got a lot of charisma as well hasn't he he's naturally very charismatic and up until that

YouTube channel the last time I saw him and I think I mentioned this to you at the time was when he got he lost out on the Eurovision entry oh that's right

and he stormed off the stage he had a real tantrum about it which I fucking thought was funny and I didn't judge him for it at all but anyway apparently he's coming in

to do Jack's show at some point. Oh, lovely. Hopefully I can meet him. That'd be really nice. I've met Nikolas before. Have you really? What's he like? He said,

he should come and play for our football team. Why didn't you then? Never did. Because I cannot bring myself to base myself on trying to make new friends.

Yeah, okay. I find it very difficult. At all or just in that environment? Just in. Yeah, okay. I find it very difficult. At all, or just in that environment? Just in that environment, anywhere, really. You've got a lot of neighbourhood friends in your new place now. I'm forced into that, I suppose.

But yeah, I cannot turn a casual interviewee relationship into something more. That's how the media industry works, though, isn't it? Well, some people manage it. Some people happily manage it.

I think there was a time in my life as if he had said that to me, I would have been there. I would have fucking gone. Yeah, turned up at he had said that to me I would have been there I would have fucking gone turned up with soccer head hello I would have loved it I also noticed Pete

that you're wearing kind of the shoes that old people wear now because they can't bend over and do their shoelaces up is that a kind of common boat shoes

sort of boat-ish kind of shoes I guess no they're not boat shoes they're slip-on loafers I thought boat shoes were slip-on loafers. Are boat shoes a slip-on loafers?

Did you get them in the back of a catalogue? They look like, I'm not being rude, I mean, you're one of those people who can get away with wearing pretty much anything,

but they look like you got them in the back of a catalogue. If I was wearing no socks, would it be okay? I think it would be. I think it would be, you know.

It's hard to picture. I think if they were boat shoes with no socks, I think it would be 2016 called they wouldn't know if I can look back but look

I'm wearing the classic Vans pumps mate yeah I mean the problem with that kind of colour as well though is that you're just constantly worried about

just constantly throwing them in the washing machine with a lot of bleach to get the dirt out I've never once done that you've never once done that do people put bleach in the washing machine

yeah you've never lived mate you've never lived fuck you now alright let's do an email I really want to catch up on this email because it's been a long time coming

do it and it's from Jason in Missouri he was emailed hello at lukeandpeacher.com you are also welcome to do so we'd love to hear from you perhaps you've got an opinion on Kate Bush

or Justin Hawkins or Grimesy or Grimesy what do you reckon Grimesy's up to right now well wanking

10.30 not that what do you think he's up to right now I Well, 10.30. Not that. What do you think he's up to right now? I don't know, probably... What kind of character do you think he is away from all the politics stuff? I think he's probably just having a cup,

I think he's probably just having a cup of tea, three sugars, and just staring at the little distance in his bed set. Yeah. I think he's... Do you think,

if you, so say for example, you just moved to a new... Aye, what terrible shit am I going to say today? Do you think it's that calculated, though? You've got to be, surely. Yeah.

What can I have an issue with now? What can I take umbrage with? If you moved to where you move to now, and you were doing your thing, and the partner you had access to, which I'm sure did happen, forced you into speaking to the neighbours, and you knocked on the door of the next door neighbour

immediately next to you... It was grimezy. Yeah. How do you think you'd react? I'd be like, well, I'm better at happen, forced you into speaking to the neighbours. Yeah. And you knocked on the door of the next door neighbour immediately next to you. It was grimezy. Yeah. How do you think you'd react? I'd be like, well, I'm better at DIY than you, probably. Opening down there. Your big wet blanket.

Because it's a bit of a Tory hotbed where you live, isn't it? Yeah, a little bit, yeah. So it could happen. It could happen. Anyway, Jason from Missouri, you've been very patient, even though you're not actually on the line.

Just an old radio thing to say. He said, apparently according to the very passive-aggressive producer Rory, in brackets, Luke has mentioned this email a couple of times on the show, implying that I've never actually got around to reading it out. So I am going to read it out now. Jason says, hello, Luke and Pete.

Long-time listener, first-time emailer. I've been listening to the backlog of your shows at work, starting from episode one, and it's only taken about two months. Now, I'm not sure if that is a dig at us. Probably is. It's so easy to listen. Or that it's just Jason saying how much he loves the show, which we're very grateful for. Recently, you were discussing with Vish

about whether Honda Jazz owners had a jazz hands greeting. They were due to each other. You also mentioned that motorcyclists would nod to each other as a greeting. Here in the US, and I do believe also some places overseas, the universal motorcyclist greeting is to make a peace sign inverted. So with two fingers pointing down towards the ground. So do you want to have a go at doing that, Pete? Okay, yeah.

Like that, yeah. Little yellow pages fingers. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Which apparently means keep two wheels down. Right, why is that then? Keep up the good work and I hope to be completely caught up very soon Jason from Missouri. Don't do wheelies.

There's no further explanation provided. I saw a guy doing a big wheelie on a motorbike all the way down. I was thinking they call people

who work in triage and casually they call motorcycles like organ donations and stuff. Do that fuck. But this guy was being very dangerous.

I think that it's this is not an opinion I ever had when I was a kid and's this is not an opinion I've ever had when I was a kid and it certainly isn't an opinion I would have had when I had my little

moped that I was scooting around on but as I'm older now and I haven't even got kids but I think that the using of motorbikes and like built up

areas in the middle of the night is quite poor form. Yeah but nobody I've not heard one in a very very long time. So I'd let him do it,

but only if it was a wheelie, baby. If you had two wheels down, like Jason says, and you're doing that in an inner city built up area in the mid-day after 10 o'clock, I'd be dishing out fines. I was sat in a restaurant

in town. It wasn't even, it was like, it was a pedestrianised area as well, so I don't really understand what he was doing. But I was in, it was a pedestrianised area as well, so I don't really understand what he was doing. But I was in, just off Carnaby Street, this restaurant, and this guy decided to put his back wheel on the front step of the restaurant

and just fucking start burning rubber. What restaurant was this? It was just near, oh, Zabrano's, you know, the bar, like club sort of thing, just off Carnaby Street. There's a restaurant next door. And this guy, Spanish guy, just started revving and burning rubber. And it filled the restaurant with smoke. I don't know what he was trying to achieve.

Was it called Zabranos? Yeah. I think I've got a feeling that might even be the restaurant that young Amy just started working at. Really? Zabranos? She might have been there. There's two of them. There's Soho and then there's one in Carnaby Street.

So it's probably Carnaby Street because that's more of a restaurant-y place. I'm going to ask her after this. She mentioned it to me the other day. Anyway,

another email here that we are going to squeeze in. It's entitled Celebrity Toilet Meetings, which of course has piqued my interest. It's from Luke who says, Hi guys, several years ago while working as a runner

for a small production company in East London, I was taking a waz and a freshly painted urinal when none other than Mr. Magic himself, Paul Daniels, strides in. You know Paul Daniels Peter, remember him? And this has piqued my interest because obviously sometimes we're a bit controversial. But the great thing is,

as you've mentioned there, you can do a load of euphemisms about his magic wand. He's also, he's dead. We can't get in trouble for it, can we? We cannot get in trouble for it. Not that we would be disrespectful about the dead, of course.

Anyway, Paul Daniels walks in. Confrontedly taking the uranus next to me, the long dead conjurer now turns his head slightly towards mine. The eyes remain focused on the painted wall ahead and took in a long, slow breath of air. He then said, another million lost? The sound of piss running against the white porcelain filled the room

and I said, hmm, sorry? He turned around, fully making eye contact, and said, that's another million lost? And I said, oh yeah? What's that then? Millions lost? Okay. Now shaking his head disappointment,

Paul Damon says, could have made millions with a business painting walls. And I said, oh yeah, you're right. You could have made loads. Move quickly to wash my hand. He continued, the millions lost having a business painting walls that was never meant to be. To which I said, okay, see you later.

To make things more awkward, I had to greet Paul and the lovely Debbie McGee at the office reception and offer them a hot beverage soon afterwards be interested to know if any listeners have had a more rubbish encounter

with a famous celebrity now is Paul Daniels trying to make a joke there so Paul Daniels what thought of doing a what he's basically going on the old pull back reveal joke

where he goes another million lost to get your interest and he's trying to say something funny yeah by saying I should have made millions painting walls because what he's saying is there something funny by saying I should have made millions

painting walls because what he's saying is there are walls everywhere so there's so many to paint I could have made loads of money it's like a dad joke very metal meta isn't it

it's a 10.30pm at a wedding uncle joke isn't it with the young'uns you've got a few beers inside you to get the confidence and the thing

that disappoints me about this email is that he could have used one of his Paul... He could have used one of his... Paul Daniels could have used one of his catchphrases. I'm going to piss, but not a lot.

Yeah. Paul Daniels' catchphrase, I think, is actually very good, which is, you'll like this, and people go, all right,

and then you go, not a lot, but you'll like it. I think that's quite self-explicating. It's quite fun. Yeah. And he's got a lot about him, Daniels.

If you watch back of the old Devolt videos, he's very good. He's obviously odd, which plays into it, and he's quite funny. So he's let himself down there. Paul Daniels used to have these watched back of the old Devolt videos he's very good he's obviously odd which plays into it and he's quite funny he's let himself down there

Paul Daniels used to have like these mad kind of magicians and puppet masters from all around the world every single Saturday it was prime time

Saturday night the biggest show on television back when Saturday night on telly everyone used to watch it it used to be a

proper country and then sometimes you'd just have these really spooky French puppeteers on for like five minutes of just dour, fucking black and white avant-garde puppetry. So that stuff is a really, really big deal in France.

I've got a friend of mine who goes, he's really into it. And he goes with his family. They have once a year around the South Bank somewhere, they have all these French guys that have been doing this for generations and generations come over and they have a little festival. My mate goes every year. And it's seen as a really respected art thing in France. As it should be. But over here on Paul Daniel's show,

you're not expecting it. You're not expecting it. People have grown up on Bill and Ben. I remember when he started one show by singing Thank goodness for little girls. What, Paul Daniels did? Paul Daniels did. He just did a whole song.

Was it on the BBC? Yes. Yeah. Troubling, isn't it? It's very, very, very troubling indeed. Anyway, let's get out of here. Let's wrap up just by saying that Paul Daniels used to have a quiz show called Every Second Counts.

What, it didn't do Countdown as well? No, one more time. Yeah, one called Every Second Counts. With the a countdown as well no one more time yeah one called Every Second Counts with the little yellow pyramids on the front and that was the first time in my life

that I realised what anxiety was that is the first thing in life that gave me anxiety it was awful I was only a young boy as well

anyway let's get out of here we'll be back on Thursday for more of this we'll do some of your battery brands as well have a lovely week been great talking to you goodbye everyone hello at lukeandpeach.com and as Peach says goodbye everybody We'll be back on Thursday for more of this. We'll do some of your battery brands as well. Have a lovely week. It's been great talking to you. Goodbye, everyone.

Hello at LukeandPete.com. And as Pete says, goodbye, everybody. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.