The Luke and Pete Show - Banished from All Bar One

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

It’s been a while since Luke and Pete chewed the fat, so naturally a run-down on Pete’s health is in order. How are the lungs? Is he off the caffeine? What news from disease deadline day?On a wholly different note, Luke relays the tale of his trip to the boxing at the O2, which perhaps unsurprisingly featured a small man being thrown out of a drinking establishment for bad behaviour.Finally, Jack White is successfully recreating the good ol' days and Pete Hegseth continues to embarrass himself.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail] Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, welcome to the Luke and Pete Short. It is Thursday the 3rd of September. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined my Mr. Lukie Mo. Lukey. How you doing, mate? I'm wearing trousers for the first time in three months. Oh, it feels kind of good, but it's...

They haven't soft-launched autumn yet, have they? They're kind of... We're British for talking about the weather, guys. They're soft-launched... They've gone straight into monsoon season, haven't they? And it's cold and it's cold, and it's... wet.

It's like, ah, give us one. But it's going to be up to 27 again at the weekend. So, what? You never know. You never know.

I keep on threatening. My swimming pool filter, swimming pool, paddling pool, filter, the foxes keep chomping on it. And I'm not, I'm not fixing it again.

I think I'm, surely it'll be time to take her down soon, it will be time to take her down. But like you said, these kind of little, little heat waves keep, keep coming. So maybe I'll just give it one more weekend.

even when you get the old odd heat wave in September, the heart's not in it. It gets cold again. Cold and the sun goes down as much earlier. It's much colder in the morning. It's not going to hit the same. This is Lugie Moore.

What's the Latter? What's the Halloween Lates? You like? I don't like any latte. Yeah, but you know, you're all cozy, cozy detective criminal, right? I've got quite a lot of autumnal energy.

You've got autumnal energy. I concede that. The old pumpkin spice lattes. Yeah. But I don't drink coffee. You bought me about four pumpkin spice lattes In your life It was

It wasn't pumpkin spice lattes Because they went out then But it was like Christmas spice lattes A few years ago I kept saying to you Stop buying me these coffees I'm strapped in the beer Terrible friend

Awful friend No it's kind of you It was thoughtful but it was weird Because it was a combination It was quite thoughtful But also quite disinterested Yeah exactly Not really paying attention

Or anything you say It'll buy you a drink But he'll buy you a drink But he'll be generic niceties. Yeah. You know, one size fits all. It's not bespoke.

No, exactly. I'm off the old, I'm off the old caffeine anyway. Oh, is this your latest, um, let's attempt to sort of out your health problems? Yeah, let us attempt. Um, and, uh, I tell you what, I am sort of experiencing, or can only be described as, uh, what everyone else has presumably been experiencing for a long time, because I would get up and by about 10 in the morning, I'd have had two calls. two coffees probably

you don't usually drink any more than that but I always have two and by two o'clock in the afternoon I'm fucked now I have had I've been heavy drinking I've been doing this I've been doing that

and the next day like by 1 a.m I'm like one p.m., I'm absolutely exhausted I need to go to bed for an hour right? I need to go to bed for like 20 minutes just to just to sleep off that you know tiredness that you get when you drink even one pint these days

but without drinking coffee you don't get it Like, I'm drinking no coffee. I'm drinking decafes, and I'm just absolutely sailing through. I mean, I'm not really at my peppy best. I'll level with you, but maybe that'll come with time. It's certainly a bad thing. But I'm like really sort of Blaze 420 chilled out, but I'm not sleepy.

I'm not sleeping all the time. What's that? Like, is this how everybody leaves their lives? Yeah, your body's probably reacting to the caffeine, the ups and the downs, the rest of it. And now it's just a bit more of an even keel. Yeah, well, the specials are trying to get to. symptoms? I had a few days, but I was kind of away, so I was kind of distracted with a child who has become unmanageable.

So it's very much. I'm a member of that club. Yeah. And yeah, so it was absolutely fine at the end. But yeah, I've come back and I'm absolutely, I'm just not feeling snoozy about one o'clock in the afternoon. That's really good. It happens to me if I have a big lunch. That's the key.

I sometimes get like hungry. too hungry I'm gonna have a big lunch I could have a maximum of one sandwich yeah exactly anything more than that and you're done it's horrible from about

230 to about four thirties it's horrendous it's just horrendous I'm with you on the parenting my son is making a series of demands that are increasingly unreasonable our daughter was very into her bed

and she likes to sleep and you know all of you included all my friends told me you fuck off when I said that she used to sleep from seven to seven. She no longer does that three years in. Now she's like, realises she can get out of bed,

have a wander around the house, get up, jump in the bed. Just that kind of stuff. Yeah, I've got a bit of that going on. Yeah, it's a bit of regression, I think. I don't know, but it's probably quite common around this age. Well, I've heard from people who've got children that are older, that when they get to about four, they start to become relatively rational human beings

or much more rational. So, dokey, dokey. Hold that for that. But at the same time, trying to embrace the good times. Yeah, I'm loving it, but she's, oh, she's been cheeky little monkey. Like, oh, you are being, you are really becoming a person. Like father, like daughter.

Exactly, yeah. Yeah, it's very quick to anger. Again, like father, like daughter. If she meek afterwards, otherwise it's not, it doesn't count. If she can't, if you can't get something, she can't open a door first time, furious, absolutely furious. I'm like, why do you get so angry? and I could have just be talking to myself but yeah

but Peter listen change the subject ever since I haven't seen you for ages you were away and then I was off work for a little bit That's true yes And so this is the first time we've We've hung out for a wee while

Have you changed? I've not changed Not got better Not got stronger, not got fitter More productive How the lungs Well the Still still on the

I've added a little call that my daughter gave me and then I just and then and then and then that's sort of gone on the lungs so that that's that's made it even worse. Specialists are um I've been referred to. Have you got a cold upon your chest like John Brown's baby? I've got a cold upon my chest. Exactly yeah. It's exactly that. And I'm and so the, so I went to the, um, I went to the docs yesterday, the specialist and there's an hour now.

How often have you been to the doctors or some kind of medical premises in the, in the calendar year of 2026? Uh, well, all specialists. aren't they? So probably four. You only get one per two month period, don't you? They go, send you away, try this stuff. Does it work? No. That last month was a real issue. But yeah, they refer me with Cardiolis.

Cardiolis is doing the usual caper. They all record your thing and do your business and, you know, do the echo cardigan and all stuff. But they're busy, he said, you know, there's a thing that seems to sort of set it off and I've no idea why. I just suddenly just, my chest goes tight and I get a bit dizzy and I need to death.

Is it transfer deadline day? It's a transfer deadline day. And something, yeah, something needs to leave the club. The students of FSR. Disease deadline day. I need to poo. And so like he said, well, I said, I have noticed it has gotten better with me not drinking coffee. Or caffeinated coffee at least.

And my huge amounts of monster eats to drink. And he goes, yeah, I mean, I can't tell you to go back on the coffee, but we will need to see the. you know, episode in action. I was like, right, okay,

yeah, I get, yeah, because it does make sense when you start to think of the fact that you drink four monsters a day

and five coffee. I don't drink four or drink, I just think two coffees. I used to think two coffees are one monster, um, but now it's,

now it's no coffees and I'm not getting the kind of suggest time. It sounds related, but I promise you it's not. I promise you it's not. It's a general public, if a general public

don't get the dance and they're used to, I mean, exactly. I'm going to, What's more important? Exactly, yeah. I feel like Chris Benoit, the wrestler.

Got to keep juicing. That's not a comparison you need to be making, mate. I've got to keep taking steroids. They just have to. As a man who's also the head of a young family. That is not. That is not the comparison we want. Got to keep flying.

All right, ravishing Rickrood then. They're all steroid enthusiasts. Yeah, ravishing Rickrood just had the, didn't he just die, though? Yeah, I think he just went for a round of golf and then could be golf. Could be golf. Could be golfing. Don't bring me into it. Don't bring me into this, yeah. But I'd hate for people to think that

because if somebody was, if a mate was, or a person you put up with on a podcast that you half like, was saying, I'm having chest problems and I'm drinking two monsters a day. I know those two aren't related. A human man should be able to take 120 milligrams of caffeine slowly if he sees fit. That's not an obscene amount of caffeine

to drink, that is a cup of coffee. And yeah, and they happen even when I don't drink monsters. So where were we? So please don't email him about that. Apparently, it's when you're pregnant you can't have more than like 200 milligrams or something, isn't it? It's like half of what you usually. 200 milligrams?

No, like a cup of coffee at like 120? Like one of those big stupid... I just remember from when we were going through it that four cups of coffee, a day is generally fine for a non-pregnant adult. That's it. I've never drunk that. I've never drunk that much coffee. Four cups of coffee. Two cups of coffee. So what else? I mean, you've given me an impression of someone that I haven't seen for a while.

He's just been in an out of medical facilities and nothing else happening. So what else has been going on? Went to Cornwall. I stayed in a Airbnb that was a basically a big metal shed that was constructed to house the land girls agricultural

women women who worked in agriculture during the war yeah and usually when you go to an Airbnb if there's books about Hitler you go right what's going on here I've been in a few like that where you're like there's a lot of books about the war here

but this one had the excuse but it was this kind of mad sort of metal sort of lined kind of thing and it even had an Anderson shelter in the grounds as well and uh... What part of Cornwall was that? It wasn't it wasn't called that was near Glassmery this one was near Glassmere, just on the way

so it was a little stop off on the way and on the way back and it was fucking great like it was really one of the highlights of the trip and it was just like he had like this little because it was just like barracks basically a little barrack room and my daughter got the little upstairs room so she had that to herself and stuff

and we had the room downstairs and it had like a lot of, it had like a medicine cabinet with like smelling salts from like the 40s and stuff. It was actually all geared up to like that it was all like,

you know when you're going to just a bit of a vibe. The kind of people staying there are going to be your reform types. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Or kind of cozy kind of war

revivalist kind of maybe they all should stay in those kind of places to see what it would have been like in the 1940s, just eating like canned, beef. The toilet was unworkable. The toilet was a piece of shit.

Didn't have an oven. Yeah. Well, we all know why they want to go back to the 1940s. Yeah. So, I mean, maybe that'll be, that'll help them as well. But that sounds like an interesting way to spend a portion of a holiday.

What was it, was it reasonably priced? Yeah, it wasn't too bad. But, I mean, it was a tin shed. There's not getting away from it as well. You don't want to pass through the nose for that. Yeah. And the, uh, a gramophone record, and had a, like, I just had loads of...

Will meet again on the old grandfather? Certainly had a lot of Vera Lynn. A little bit of Elvis, which I think was a little bit inaccurate. But just all of like the kitchen stuff. It just reminded my nan's house. And it's like, God, what would that? I mean, that would have been like the 80s

in the early 90s. And so like, even like just the bath that they had, the toilet, as I said, the toilet was a nightmare. One of those old metal clanky ones used to say that got ripped out, you know, 10 years ago. And the bath had one of those, you know, it was just had, He just had two taps and stuff.

Yeah, because you could see, you would still go to like a public toilet that was absolutely rancid in London. And you'd see like an old metal fucking, not Basilden Bond. I can't remember the company that he said, Armaged Shanks. You'd have a big metal fucking Armated Shanks. My first of a five-a-side football team was called Armated Shanks. Mine was called Deu-93. What does that mean?

Well, the defunct car company, Deo-Nat-3. Oh, Deu? Okay, sorry. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, and Deo-Nighty-3 used to be a team in there. in FIFA. So we call us I still remember now that like

the first ever fixture that Armaged Shanks played at Soccer City in Fairham in Hampshire we lost to a bunch of bigger boys

who were cunts and their team name was bish-bash-bosh Bish-Bash-Bosh wasn't that the magician who used to be on ITV every now and again I always know it's Piff

Paff Puff that guy, isn't it? Who's that? He was a fat bloc who would come on the telly and he'd just do a little bit of like magic. He looked a bit like

Biggles, not Biggles, Christopher Biggins. He looked a bit like Christopher Biggins. I don't know what you mean, and Bruno's not typing, so I can't help him. I'm going to type in magic. To be fair, the last time I asked Bruno to find something from breakfast television, it was the disgraced weatherman who, remember who used to be in the Mersey

that big reproduction. A weatherman. A weatherman. Fred, he used to jump over the, to Ireland, and everyone used to cheer. Was he disgraced? He got cancer. did he? Yeah, I think he got in prison.

Did he really? I think that might pass me by. Yeah. It was one of the best things ever when he actually fell in the water,

wasn't it? Yeah, he's still alive, convict his sex offender. Good old job. Yeah, he,

he, oh my God, one of his last TV shows he did was on a TV show called Prove It. Oh, my goodness, you know.

Magic, Piff, Paff Puff. What's this guy? Piff Fuff. I didn't write of him. He was Jeffrey Durham. He is Jeffrey Durham. The Great Soprendo.

he used to be on he was married to Victoria Wood Fascinating Do I recognise him? I don't really even recognise him You know No he was on crackerjack apparently He's gone

Piff-pafo fuff Um And he also in Coronation Street Peter He might have been I don't know Yeah I don't know Magic career Personal life

No I don't think he was Yeah it might have been I don't know He was in He was a magic consultant On a Doctor Who story And he refused to Join the Magic Circle

Because membership was only open to men Good Stuff. What a good lad. Not disgraced TV Suprendor Jeffrey Durham. Well done to that man. It's good. It does get to the point where you feel like if you've gone through a decent, if you've had

like the thick end of a decent TV career in the 70s, 80s and 90s, and you've not been cancelled. It feels, I mean it's probably not the case, but it feels like you're in the minority. Well, that was kind of, who's the fella who radio DJ? I'm thinking berries in my head.

Radio One DJ from the 70s. He was like Radio Caroline. He's really cheesy. And everyone, he's a bit of a national treasure in a lame kind of way. David Jensen?

No, no. More. Kid Jensen was alright, wouldn't he? Kid Jensen was great. Lovely, lovely bloc. Lovely voice. No, he's British,

not Canadian, and he would, he, oh God, what was he? He's, black, black, black, of Tony Blackburn? Tony Blackburn. you're like that was basically if you ever see him doing like a corporate job all of his jokes are

are about utry never got me you know i mean all his jokes are like i must be the only person who's still working because um yeah because i'm not fucking wrong and blackburn must be old now he is he's still uh he's still kicking you know he's still he's still firing all cylinders though still kicking against the pricks still kicking against the pricks i'm surprised that the part he doesn't have a pop at blackburn he sends a lot of his time for the pop at edmunds don't he yeah Because I think Blackburn's pretty pleasant, I think, to deal with, I think. I think everyone who hangs out with him knows, you know, it seems to think he's okay. But I know that I don't like Edmonds.

Edmonds on Instagram is terrible. Edmonds made, like, proper moon money, though. Do you know what I mean? He wasn't just a radio, did you? He prayed proper telemoney in the golden age of Saturday night television on a big channel. Yeah. I mean, he must be, good God. Can you imagine? To me that is like sitting at my nana granddad's house

I haven't just watched the National Lottery and Noel's House party's on and Edmund is like king of the king of the country He's king of Saturday Night TV And he knows it Oh yeah If an ice cream he'd lick himself But how could you not know it in that situation

You know, I defy anyone To not know it You know he's got blobby in his in his ranks That bit where he I think we've spoken about it for because I love it, where he says that, I think they're going to do a show from New York,

which is like, which was the most exciting thing on television. It was like, we're going to do a Norse House party from America. And back in the 90s, that was like, oh my fucking Christ. Like you couldn't,

exactly, like you couldn't just do pretty much everything they did with a mobile phone these days and get off the flight at, get off the flight at JFK and just film it. yourself. But they he was saying that we're going to go to New York

but Mr. Blobby I'm afraid you're not allowed to go and Mr. Blobby's absolutely gutted. 1997 it was. New York House party. Things could only get better. I mean the thing about it is that you think you know obviously the house

they filmed House Party in was called Crinkly Bottom. Yeah. You just know that Noel Evans thinks that's it to this day thinks that's a really good joke. Really funny. No, it no, I don't think I think, yeah, I think it's subversive. And he thinks that's the sort of thing

that made him too hot to handle for the movie to see. Because it was just too spicy. Speaking of too hot to handle, I went to the boxing on Saturday. Oh yeah, so you were in the old boxing. How was that? How was that? Was there lots of cocaine?

Moses at Hamme v. Philip Pergovich. Was it what? How many, how much cocaine did you see and how many fights broke out in the? the crowd? Answer one, a lot. Answer two, two. Nice. Okay, that's not bad.

At one point during the undercard, there was a bust up in the crowd, which was genuinely better than the fight in the ring. It was amazing. It was so, so good. Lovely. It was an amazing, like a boxing crowd are an amazing crowd,

because it's full of like... You just don't want to travel to the venue with them. No, well, you don't want to be, you don't really want to even be observed by them. Because it's frightening, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you definitely don't want to travel there or back, because it's basically full of people traveling in from, you know, Essex or whatever.

I'm not kind of deriding Essex people generally. No, I know you reside in that fine county, Peter, and there's plenty of lovely people from Essex. But you know the type I'm talking about. A great example is that, so I was at the O2 Arena, and you must have been to the O2, right? Yeah. Yeah, so it's a good venue. As you know, there's like a ring around it where all the shops and bars are.

And once you show your ticket, you go inside. You can't come out to that bit, right? So I was meeting some friends outside there because I didn't have a ticket. My mate had it. And there's an all-bar one there. Oh, lovely. Yes. Yeah.

And so, and there's like a little bit of a funnel to get people into the all-bar one. and I was just waiting to go in and there was a bloke who would and this is by the way this 6pm this right so it's early early doors I wanted to watch the undercar because I'm a bit of a nerd for it so I got there like 6pm

I arranged with my friends at 6pm and the all by one's obviously open all day and there's a guy there who's in front of me who's been obviously been asked to go and stand outside to have a little bit of a calm down for half an hour right

because he's been boozing all the rest of it for a while little guy like certainly like small than you like yeah but but an essex type and he's been told to stand out there clearly because he's swaying around and he's yeah i guess he was getting aggressive or whatever and it just so happened that as he decided that he was should be able to go back in now he was right in front of me right so he walked in front of me and the kind of bouncer looked him up and down and

sort of you know rolled his eyes like all right yeah go back in then and then the guy just looked at him and went thank you cunt like that absolute night out liability nailed on oh my god just grabbed him just chucked him out again I was like I was thinking about how weird it was that it was hilarious it was it was hilariously funny I was thinking about why you've done it right and what the only conclusion I could come to is because he was quite out of it is I think he got confused between doing that on the way out again and doing it on the way in Because obviously if you've been allowed back in, you've been a few more beers of your mates and you leave and you think, right, I'm going to leave one on this guy.

Yeah. You could say that as you left and just run and he's not going to chase you. But he seemed to have accidentally done it on the way back in. So the bouts just grabbed him again, just chucked him out again. Was it just kind of like muscle memory or something? It was just kind of like... He was obviously just a very mouthy young bloke. Right, okay.

But it was just one of the most brain-dead things I've ever seen. It was absolutely ridiculous. Anyway, there's a couple of great fights in the crowd. And then obviously Frank Warren, who has absolute disdain for fee-paying boxing fans, just let the event just get away from the timekeeping completely. So it got to the point where loads of people were leaving before the main event because it was so late people couldn't get trains. Got to get the CTC's home.

I know, exactly. So the main fight, the main event didn't really start until, I want to say, quarter to 11. it's just unworkable why do they it's ridiculous Warren's got a massive reputation for that right and what they do they even do stupid shit like

so I understand you have to have an undercard you have to have fights yeah Walmart fights and stuff and there's other people who you're making their way in their career and I get you have more than one fight there's five six seven fights but even before the main event they're wheeling out of the boxes to interview them for TV

it's like people are waiting around it's ridiculous but it's just kind of like you think that um why I realise that, like, fights can go on a certain time and not go on a certain time, but it just encourages people to turn up really late to stuff

because you're like, well, the minute, it's not going to be on until fucking, you know, really, really late. So what's the, you know,

what's the point? It just encourages people to miss the undercard, one would suggest. Well, the thing, to put it in perspective, how bad it was,

I jumped out the venue as soon as it finished, got on a line bike and circled home. Mm. I live in London. Yeah. And it, I've got him at 1 a in.

Right, yeah, yeah. You forget it how, from there that's quite a wide that's quite a wide journey isn't it I suppose it's also like a bit of a moody one like cycling back through Depford and places like that I mean I was actually thinking

to myself my lot the older Apple Maps was taking me through some some rough old estates and I was thinking I could do without this really could do without my phone being clipped to this because it was like drizzling as well so I couldn't recycle very fast

I was like God were you were you abiding the the lights on the roads. We were abiding the traffic lights. The good thing about Apple Maps, which is why I use it instead of Google Maps, is that it acknowledged,

so I've got a little conspiracy theory that I think that Google Maps thinks that a bike is the same as a car. So it doesn't give you the routes you could do. Oh, right, okay. Whereas Apple Maps does. Google Maps definitely has a bike option. You click on it, but it doesn't seem to change much.

Anyway, Apple Maps does. So, I mean, the Apple Maps was taking me through some rum old places like parks I've never heard of estates and stuff you know me I'm a dedicated limesman but it was

it was quite hairy but anyway I got him fine but it was just it was a good it was a good event fight was decent everyone was disappointed because obviously

at Moses of Tamer was beaten but it was yeah it was pretty good fun good stuff I'm glad you had fun is that what you did what else did you do during your week away

was it kind of I went to go see Jack White a Hammers with Apollo Jack Whitehall, I love that guy, great comedian Do you know what? Everyone said that to me, every time I said it. Really?

Oh, good stuff. I need to get more people to hang out with. I know, right? You need to get more. But you know what Jack White did? He made it a condition of entry that you had to put your phone in the pouch. He used that quite a lot, yeah.

That's brilliant. It was really good. Yeah, I think that's absolutely smashing. Because I think I went to all in AW, a couple of years ago and, like, just everybody filming the thing you're going to watch on telly later on. I don't know.

But yeah, is he, I would, is he just trying to harness all the power of everyone's mobile phones though? Is he like crypto mining? Could be, yeah.

Plugging them all in. Could be using it to mind some Bitcoin, yeah. No, it was good because we were up on the, so I went because Michael Cox, you know Michael Cox of Zonal Marking fame? Yeah,

I don't know Michael Cox. Yeah, had a spare ticket and he invited me along, which is really kind of him. And we were up on the balcony and you could see down to the crowd and not want to have made a phone,

obviously, which is a really amazing throwback. That was really, Was there anybody kicking off? It was unacceptable that, you know. I didn't see anyone, no. But I think there is like a little area around the back away from the venue itself in the kind of lobby

where if you need to make an emergency call, you can. Right. And you can feel your phone in your pocket still. So if it's like vibrating over and over again, I guess you could go and check it if you wanted to. Oh, so it's like a thing that they lock and unlock in your pocket. Yeah. So you know what it's like?

It's locked by, you know, when you buy a piece of clothing from a shop and you have to get it unlocked. Right. You can get those. I've seen those getting upened. I'm sure you can. But I had no motivation to do so, Peter. I was just watching a show, so I didn't believe it.

Do you do your word? Did you do your word for that there, see? I don't, I don't play a word or do I? Oh, okay, all right. But it was good, it was good to have, it was good, because one thing obviously, I guess it's quite an obvious thing to say, but like, it's not often you give something

you're undivided attention in that way these days. So it's quite interesting. And in a way, like, it's a confident move from Jack White, right? Because he's like, I'm going to entertain you for the night and you are going to love it. And you're not going to have, you're not going to think I'm a bit bored. Tom's going to get on my phone. You're not going to do that. And it was really good for that reason.

It was just a really nice throwback. I actually feel like, with obvious exceptions, they should maybe do that for every show. You've got no reason to. Because why do you need any different? It just, it just rude. But the thing is, I guess, nowadays, the ticket is the is the thing you're paying for over you know saying you're there is the reason why you buy the tickets in in many situations true but also the other thing that happened was that it was all paper tickets right okay right yeah cool so you can get your phone out to show your ticket right how did he send laws in in the year of our law 2026 maybe it wasn't all paper ticket maybe it was just the way that Michael did it but they um because it's all um ticket master and uh you you know, at Wembley,

you could apply for an AWOL in, what do you call it, a, a memento ticket. Because like wrestling fans, they like to collect shit. Well, everybody's collect shit.

But like, they want their ticket so they can say, I was there. And then so they'd fly for it. And I think what came in the post was just a ticket master printout. It wasn't like a,

it wasn't like an oldie time ticket. It was just a fucking ticket. You could have done that yourself. That's so bad. If anybody's printer fucking works. Like, um, how's your printer doing alright

I left my printer out in the front of the house for someone to collect when I moved house did you you're printerless how does that feel especially a man who just bought a house you think you're never going to need a printer

a bit of paper out again no I got Amy at work to do it that is disrespectful it's not she knows I to use it she sits right next to it right well do it yourself you can use it yourself can't you you know like that woman

I forget a name who people are trying to Oh now I'm the disrespectful one You know that woman I forget her name No I'm talking about Amy That woman who lives in the office Workin'clock You don't live there They live in the office

The woman who hangs out with Trump And she's known as the human printer Oh yeah People are like sort of You know People are having their too penit about that But they've got this obsessed Woman in the fucking set up

but I think nobody's really talking about Natalie Harper Yeah Yeah yeah yeah The one who wrote the weird letters to Trump She's obviously got some kind of weird like obsession Obsession, yeah She is known as the human printer I'm like, that's actually a skill

That she is the most skilled person in all of his self It's a sick nickname It's got my fucking To know, to be able to operate a printer You know 24-7 is a skill that literally nobody in the world has because printers are duplicitous. She's got more skills than Pete Ex-F.

Yes, you would have, definitely, yeah. Pete Hegseth was doing, Pistol Pete was doing his workout with the Marines the other day. Is he back in the Marines? Yeah, this is all he's setting, isn't it, really? Yeah, it's kind of his go-to, isn't it? Which is, like, I mean, because the thing is, he's nowhere near as obviously young and fit as them. So it just looks ridiculous anyway. Yeah, he's, he's, he's, if rumours there's view, if he's telling everyone that he fancies

a run at the big job. Of course he does. Who's going to fund that? Right. It's like giving a fucking chimp in AK-47. Um, I saw that gift, that chimp,

AK-47 gift. What was that? I thought it was a football context, wasn't it? Oh, someone's saying, someone's saying um,

let in, Reverto Deserby. Have the run of Tottenham. But what is the, it's not even a gift, it's like a video, isn't it? What's the actual,

is that real? or is it like a movie or something? I thought it might have been from one of the, one of those monkey movies. Oh, Planet of the Apes? Planet The Apes. I thought it might be... Nah, it's not that.

Because I've seen that give so many times. Right. Yeah. It's, uh, yeah. But yeah, they've used it for that, which is quite funny. Anyway, this is the end of the show for crying loud. We've smashed our way through that. Footage from a West African soldier, apparently.

Thanks, Bruno. That's not true. That was a real footage. I wasn't sure whether it was a real video or not. That was not a real video. Bruno's the Oracle. I'll tell you what, Bruno's notes in the shared doc are like an amazing summary of what we talk about on the show. So basically, I'll read four to you.

The four he's written today. Tony Blackburn is 83 years old. Noel's house party. It was a New York House party in 1997. Natalie Harp. And footage from a West African soldier. Just shoved that as a synopsis. That's all you need.

He did put apparently, so even he's not convinced. Yeah, don't put apparently in Bruno. Don't intervene unless you're sure. That's that have I got you to see you allegedly. It's the Marcus Speller allegedly. The last thing this show needs is a third idiot. A third idiot has hit the laps. Right.

We'll be back on Monday, if that's all right with you. Do take care of yourselves. If you're going to be staying in a World War II toilet house, do make sure. World War II toilet house. Make sure that you are. Yeah, just enjoy yourself. Don't read too much into the books.

Himmlam was a bad man. Right, we'll see you later. Ta-ta. The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the A-cast Creator Network.