The Luke and Pete Show - Barrels of fire

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

On today's LAPS, we're asking: What are the things you see happen most often in the movies that *never* happen in real life? Example: people sleeping with the curtains wide open for no reason.Elsewhere, Pete’s had an unfortunate financial mishap, there’s a man suing Twitch for highly questionable reasons, and we’re having a chat about the mind-bending Netflix drama Dark.Plus, Luke’s still loving his Nalgene, there’s a Twister sequel coming our way and the boys do a much needed, long overdue deep dive on Michael Flatley.Get in touch: [e-mail]!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. It's a spicy London afternoon. I hope you keep them well. Mine is Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by this man, Mr. Luke Moore. Hello, Luke Moore. Hello and welcome to a podcast that is definitively not sponsored by Nalgene. No, it's not sponsored by anything or it might be i don't know find out in the advert that's something now gene are not biting though are they they're not biting mate well you sent me towards the uh the wholesome analogy net instagram page and uh i'm not having it it's all a bit rustic for me yeah it's kind of a bit outdoorsy i think if you're not really someone who likes getting out there then you wouldn't

like it there'd be nothing there for you but it's all about like you know beautiful sunsets hiking on trails all that good stuff and i just want them to open the door to their hearts and let me in but they won't so fuck yeah well you were given the big licks saying you know zero plastic you know zero plastic future. This is what Nalgene stands for. And I said, I mean, they're purely in the plastic game, Luke. I mean, that's exactly what they're producing. More plastic.

Well, all right. Maybe some of the accoutrements are maybe metal. But, I mean, they're definitely more making more plastic than they're not making. Yeah, but it's kind of a different sort of thing. We've had those conversations before, Peter. You know what you're doing here. You know what you're doing.

But I just think it's a bit rich for them to say zero plastic. Their idea is by using an algin, you're going to use less disposable plastic. I understand that. But ultimately, you've created more plastic there, haven't you? So it's a bit bloody rich that's all i'm saying fair enough you you are you are in but you are embroiled in a years-long cold war with now gene and um i don't think there's any winners to be honest

but if there is if there is a winner it's now. What is your dirty little cozy relationship got you? More Nalgene bottles? Fuck off. They've got you nothing. They've got you nothing. Where's your Iran non-proliferation pact? Where's your Paris climate accord? You've got fuck off to show for it, mate.

You've made a fool of yourself. Why isn't Luke in the meeting again this week? He's sidling up to big now, Gene. He's got no time. He's got no time for you lot. What's been new? What's going on? How was your weekend, Peter?

Good, good. I, for various reasons, had to buy something that was over £2,000. Nothing from Maplins. I had to buy something that was over £2,000. Nothing from Maplins. I had to buy something that was over £2,000. Now, it's literally not account of the person who was buying the thing off, I instead opted to put the 2,400 pounds into an account and sort code number that I have no idea who it is. I just gifted someone some kind of benevolent postcode lottery. I've just put £2,000 in a random person's account

and now I'm trying to get it back and it's proving rather difficult, Luke, and I don't really know what to do. Yeah, so when I used to work at the bank, you must be pretty unlucky there because generally speaking, if you get like a digit out on the sort code or the account number, it just gets rejected. But sometimes it can go to like a holding account or something and it can get lost in the system or sometimes it just appears

in someone's bank account, right? So who do you bank with? I bank with – well, it's a monzo account so it's it's one of those newfangled kind of newfangled so yeah it's a it's it's kind of like um i've i mean the problem is i've sent i don't know what the company is that i've i think it's a company and i think i've sent that money to the company, but I've sent money to them before. I've sent £30 to them before, but I don't know what the £30 was for.

And now I don't know what they are, where they're based, who to talk to. I'm in a world of pain. But don't worry, guys. I've gotten in contact with Monzo's pretty decent, usually, customer support and they're doing all they can.

So I don't need any financial advice. I do believe there are rules about, you know, if you don't get it back within 20 days without a good reason, it's illegal to keep money that you're not entitled to. But at this point in proceedings, I'm a little concerned. I'm sure I'll have an update next week on it. But it's suboptimal. Yeah, but the thing is, Pete,

I don't want to come across as harsh here, and I am very much the bad guy of, well, every podcast I do, I think. But I don't think that you should get the money back. I think it should be a lesson. Of what exactly? Well, don't do it again. Next time you try to transfer some money, you'll be a little bit more careful.

I just think they need to... I mean, I've made many transfers in my life and I've never got one wrong once. Yes, it was very much my fault. I can't complain. Cannot complain, but I am complaining. I'm very upset. Do you know what it is? It's quite anxiety-inducing, isn't it? It is. It just makes me think, well, if I can do that,

I could probably kill a man, I reckon. By accident, but kill the wrong man. Yeah, or kill the wrong man. Yeah, I'll go out and try and kill someone and then I'll end up

ending the stinking life of someone else. So yeah, it's not been a vintage weekend for me. How are you? Yeah, mine's been okay. I don't think

I've lost any money inadvertently. I was outside quite a bit, went running, went for a walk, did some all right stuff. Yeah, it's been okay. We also, I mean, this is very boring even for me, but we treated the worktop in the kitchen. So the kitchen's been a bit of a no-go area the last couple of days,

but thankfully we're going to be able to get back in there today. So that's been the highlight of my weekend, really. Did you take it for an ice cream? How do you treat a worktop? Yeah, treat it. Yeah, it's been very well behaved. So yeah, have a cool dish. So you just took it out?

So you treated it, as in put a bit of varnish on it? You clean it, you sand it down, you put like oil on it and then you've got to wait for it to dry and you put another kind of load of stuff on it and then you can only use it very lightly. And then it's just you've got to look after it because it's solid wood. So you have to, otherwise it just falls into disrepair basically.

But Peter, the story that took my eye this weekend that I really wanted to talk to you about. Have you seen, you might have seen this already but have you seen a twitch viewer uh you know viewer of the video game platform twitch is suing um twitch which i believe is owned by amazon isn't it uh oh i don't actually know i think it is probably um because he said, I mean, just imagine the type of person we're dealing with here, right? He's suing Twitch because he argues that female streamers are too sexy. So he is, A, felt compelled to use a flashlight that has chased his penis. B, has bloodshot eyes from ogling too much.

And C, this is the best one, short-ciruited his monitor by ejaculating on it the plaintiff once ejaculated on his PC monitor causing a short circuit and small fire within the electrical system of his gaming rig and caused his apartment to black out temporarily look if we're going to

go down that route I would you know I would love this to get to court where an engineering expert has to isolate um the contact points in which the monitors has somehow short-circuited because i don't see how that can realistically happen everything's electrically shielded um Yeah, I don't buy it. Yeah, I don't buy the shot circling. Fine, you've overused a flashlight, mate.

Good on you. But yeah, I don't think it's really the responsibility. So Pete, if you were the lawyer hired by Twitch to defend this case, that's your first port of call, is it? Right, let's talk about the housing of the electronics. The electronics, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. That's probably a good place to start, actually. That's definitely where I'd start because, I mean, A, let's talk about the housing of the electronics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's probably a good place to start, actually.

That's definitely where I'd start because I mean, A, it's ridiculous. B, I mean, this man, it's the sort of story you hear about in America where a man has decided to sue his parents for I don't know, them not being sexy enough or something.

Something mad like that. You know, like the Florida men. Do you want to hear this? Do business we're gonna hear another one the plaintiff often stays up for hours staring at the breasts of girl streamers which which ends up damaging his retina and making his eyes bloodshot for days eye drops do nothing to hide his shame from his parents and he is often questioned by people he comes into contact with as to why his eyes are so bloodshot and red, which leads to further embarrassment and isolation. I'd be asking the same questions about Michael Jordan in the Michael Jordan documentary.

He looks like he's been doing a lot of that. That's cigars and whiskey, though, isn't it? Ogling the breasts. That's ogling those sweet baskets, those sweet three-pointers. Yeah, he's been concentrating on the backboard. He's been concentrating on the net too much. That's why his eyes are all bloodshot. Yeah.

Can I just say that for legal reasons that Michael Jordan has nothing to do with this case. Unless he's like a star witness, like a surprise witness. And what a surprise that would be. One of sport's only billionaires. Let's not take him on. So anyway, listen Pete, why have you been abusing your fleshlight

so much? That's what I want to know. I don't know, man. Do you think that this guy, this man in question is so sexually powerful that he's ejaculating with such speed and and weight that it's basically smashed through the screen of the monitor i mean i would say that um the roles between the luke and the pete this week have definitely reversed with that kind of uh that kind of sentence but i'm trying to find the subjects

you're interested in mate i would argue that um i mean a fleshlight is just basically it's a flashlight with a a silicon mouth uh or vagina i guess um that you fill with uh lubricant and pound away um what he's probably doing more damage to himself by just constantly pound like hitting him he's effectively doing more damage to himself by just constantly hitting him. He's effectively hitting his crotch with a plastic tube. So I would argue that side of things rather than the Scherfing. The Scherfing, quite frankly,

that's between him and his choice of lube. He's clearly chosen an incorrect lube. And that's not Twitch's fault. You can't pin that on Twitch. Yeah, and the thing is, if you're listening, mate, just get in touch and Pete can offer some advice, although you probably won't be listening because there's not enough sweet ladies on the show for you.

No, no, exactly. Have you ever thought of thermal paste? So, yeah, terrible, terrible version. Amazing story. Pete, the other thing I've got just to clear up in terms of admin after last week's shows is that after our chat about the genius piece of work in our own minds, because we haven't rewatched it, of the 1996 disaster movie Twister, the late great Bill Paxton's

celebrated Hollywood blockbuster vehicle. It's crazy because on the 25th of June, which by my calculations is Thursday, so the day we put out Thursday's show, the news was abuzz that there is a remake in the works and it's going to be produced by the guy who produced Back to the Future. Oh, well, that's just confusing, isn't it? How good is that?

We didn't even know that, did we? No, no, we really didn't. Oh, well, never mind. So there's no actor attached to it yet, but there's someone being... The guy who's just directed the new Top Gun movie is being chatted to with a view to direct it, and there's no cast or anything.

But, I mean... Does it need to be done? I always get Bill Paxton mixed up with Bill Pullman. Yeah, Bill Pullman's the president in Independence Day. Yes. And very much alive. He's also in The Sinner at the moment. Oh, yeah, I've heard a lot about that. What's that like?

First season, good. Next two seasons, not a a clue i haven't watched them right okay because the reason i ask is because it keeps coming up a couple of people have recommended it to me but uh mimi and i are currently um in the middle of the third and final season of dark which is honestly so good i mean the only thing that could make it better for me the only thing i'll make it sort of more enjoyable for me is the ability to understand what's happening. Other than that, it's flawless, really.

Absolutely flawless. Yeah, I've got nothing to add on that, to be honest, because I haven't watched any of that. Do you like a subtitled weird time and space drama? It's the space bit that worries me. Usually you trick me into watching something that, no, suddenly we're in space. No, they're not in space.

I mean, it's just like different dimensions and stuff, basically. But the thing I find interesting about Dark is that, so I know you've got no interest in this so just bear with me very very briefly before we go to a break is that so when you think about time travel pete you think that oh yeah but if i go back to the past i'll muck something up or whatever or if i go back it kind of it kind of breaks the um the continuum the other kind of grandfather paradox yeah but um yeah but in this um in this series they kind of deal with it in a really interesting way i don't want to spoil it if people haven't seen it or for you but they deal with it in a

pretty interesting way that kind of does make sense it's really really weird it's an amazing achievement of screenwriting if nothing else honestly it Honestly, it's so, so well done. Is it every time somebody does something, they go, right, nobody do anything different than what they were already going to be doing? Yeah, yeah. No one move. Seriously, no one move. Right? No one move.

There's now seven people at the dinner table instead of six. Doesn't mean you can't have the beef. Just carry on as you were normally. Do not respond to any of the questions. That's what happens. That's what it's like every episode. I also give... I've been watching I May Destroy You.

I've heard good things about that as well. I've heard good things about that. It is very good. But I thought it was... We thought it was like a six-parter because we always assume because British stuff is always six episodes and that's all you get but I think because it was funded

by outside sources you got a few more episodes so it ends in my mind in a really weird way and I was like oh this is weird to end here but it turns out there's six more episodes so I am very pleased with that. Yeah American kind of dramas

are absolutely relentless with the episode numbers. Mimi's watching Desperate Housewives at the moment. That's eight seasons. 180 episodes. All that, Sex in the City, all those ones, just like 40 episodes per season.

Endless. I don't know how they manage. We can talk. We've done episodes we've done on our shows. Yeah, but we don't have to put post-it notes on the wall with, you know, plot devices and stuff. It's crazy. Maybe we should. Maybe we should. Then we'll know what we've talked about. Shall we have a quick break

and then come back and do some emails and some good stuff like that? Alright then. Alright, we'll be back in a little minute. Join me, Pete Donaldson, and Japan-based YouTuber Chris Broad every Wednesday as we offer the lowdown on what's happening in one of the most unique and exciting countries in the world.

The Abroad in Japan podcast is home to all things Japan, from things to do... So today we've come to you guys with 12 places in Japan that nobody knows about. To the bizarre. When I moved into my new apartment last year, the police guy came to my door. I knocked on my door.

I opened it. It was a policeman. And he said to me in English, I am Japanese policeman. That's the best introduction you could possibly do as a Japanese policeman. To the downright filthy. And for those of you who don't know what a Tenga is, Pete and I did discuss how to describe it best before doing the podcast,

and I'll let Pete describe what a Tenga is. What is it, Pete? It's a solo, male, silicon-based, ornanist's aid, so to speak. Brilliant. New episodes every single Wednesday. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. A Road in Japan is a Takano production.

We're back. It's the Luke and Pete Show. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm stifling a little poppy burp. So Luke, can you take over? Yeah, of course I will. Before the break, don't just do it on air. If you're going to stifle it, stifle it, my man. That was the aftermath. Mute your channel. Mute your channel.

I'm going to, let me show what it sounds like when you mute a channel. Ah, back again. There you go, it works. It works. Example of the tech. System works. Before the break, we did promise you, the other side,

that we would do some emails to get in touch with us. We promised you nothing. Yeah, it wasn't a promise. It was kind of more of a suggestion. To get in touch the email address is hello at luke and pete show dot com you email it in your droves we thank you for it every single waking moment of our lives we're very grateful so please never stop because we'll lose our sense of validation won't we pete yes and where'd you get your validation from pete uh the lords and uh the inventor of the

scouts lord baden powell michael flatley and bought and robert baden powell michael imagine his uh his books apparently a pretty decent read remember that was kicking around twitter for a little while his way kind of like michael Flatley, he thinks he's some kind of... I think he might think he's a god on Earth. I think he might think he's God's representative on Earth. Oh, he's one of those. He's done the old David Icke. No,

he's just so full of himself and full of ego. He genuinely thinks he's the lord of everything, never mind just the dance. Well, start off on the dance and then build out. You know, the lord of the dance to start with, and then that's

your stepping stone, that's your platform then. But old Flatley is a bit of an interesting character because he's astonishingly wealthy, as I'm sure we all know by now, but he's also got some weird things in his kind of locker. One is that in 2015, he was granted his own coat of arms

by Ireland's chief herald. I don't know what that is. Right, okay. But he's got his own coat of arms. That strikes me as something you could just probably just do, couldn't you? Yeah, is that not just like buying a bit of moon rock or a bit of land somewhere,

like the lord of this piece of land? Or I've named a star after you because I forgot our anniversary type thing. Exactly. And the other thing that's interesting about Michael Flatley is that back in January 2017, when nobody, and I do mean nobody, would play Trump's inauguration,

big flatters got involved. Was he up there, was he? I don't even remember him doing that. I think his troupe performed at it, yeah. Oh, well, there you go. He's also started writing, directing, and starring in his own movies as well. So what a great lad. I'm sure they're a great watch. He also started writing, directing and starring in his own movies as well. So what a great lad.

I'm sure they're a great watch. I'm sure they are a fantastic watch. So is this a man that you're supposed to be, I mean, should you be seeking validation from Michael Flatley? Are you happy with that? Well, he certainly, according to his autobiography, he's bedded a lot of woman. Woman? Bedded a lot of woman. Who says bedded bedded a lot of women. Woman?

Bedded a lot of woman. Who says bedded now? A lot of women. The newspapers, they go for romps and they bed people. If you have sex with someone but it's not in a bed, does it still count as bedded?

What if it's a mattress on some waste ground? Where all my sexual conquests take place. Does that does that count yeah what's that is that two men over there stripped of the waist fighting this is waste ground what do you expect exactly what else are you gonna where's the where when you think of waste ground what waste ground do you think of i think of the waste ground near the hartlepool train station near the um near the pizza hut but behind the mecca bingo so mine is mine is similar i think of the fratton goodyard behind the parts are kind of between fratton train station and fratton park but i'll tell you what, I'll amp that up.

The top three things that I associate with Waste Ground. One, two men fighting with their tops off. Two, a discarded, discoloured mattress. And three, four homeless men with beards and fingerless gloves around a barrel with a fire in it. That's from a film. You've never seen that in real life. You've never seen someone warming their hands by a barrel.

That's never happened. It doesn't happen in real life, does it? It's mad. It doesn't happen in real life. It's silly. No, I think what are the... That's a really good topic of conversation, actually. And we should ask our listeners to email in about this.

What are the things that always you see in films but that never happened in real life right it's almost like a it's almost like a version of the um the tabloid language that you alluded to there pete about nookie and romping those kind of words that don't exist in real life what are the scenes that happen in movies that don't happen in real life. One is definitely that. You don't ever see that, certainly not in the UK, barrels of fire. No. I think I may have seen it in Los Angeles, but I might be just, they've got a massive homeless problem

and maybe I might have just imagined that there was a barrel involved. You see, my two big ones are nobody seems to sleep with the curtains drawn. It's always too bright in their house when they sleep. And also everyone's headrests in cars are always removed for ease of use of camera. I've never noticed that before. They just never have headrests because you need to see the actors, don see the actors don't you because they were on the back that's a good point the on the um on the curtains

drawn thing that's a popular one isn't it people talk about but the problem is if you you can't shoot a film where like several of the scenes are just pitch black no but like you could be selected you could just you could just do it better like some of them it looks like bloody daytime it's ridiculous what's wrong with you people but my big thing my big thing that happens in films all the time it doesn't happen in real life is just the weird concept of of time and what i mean by that is if there's some kind of thing happening where they need to do something by a certain time there's a timer involved and so the time is on 45 seconds right and if it gets to zero it's going to explode something

the sheer length of 45 seconds in a movie is absolutely ridiculous now right i've worked in live radio i know how long 45 seconds is right i know how long i've got to do something. Sometimes you'll see 45 seconds, 44, 43, cut to another scene. Loads of stuff happens. Cut back, 39, 38. It doesn't happen. And another thing that really annoys me, which you don't really see so much these days, this is more of a 90s thing, is when someone is transferring something online, whether it be money or data or whatever right to me particularly when

it comes to money right presumably money doesn't go up in dollars on a on a market as you found out to your to your detriment exactly it didn't go it happens it's like out of my account yeah there wasn't like an adorable animated gif of the money flying out of my account into theirs although it may have um calmed me down a little bit when I realized what I'd done. But yeah, you're right. Any hackerspace kind of made up graphical user interfaces that are neither Unix or Linux or Windows or Mac, nothing ever looks like the thing that it's supposed to be. And I think it's licensing issues.

I think they would either have to pay or be paid to feature their products. There's a great YouTube video about the cigarette brands that everyone uses. And obviously the same newspaper that everyone uses that's got very generic information in it and like soda brands and stuff that everyone uses. Another one for me is uh just general drink drink driving everyone drink drives all the time no you just described america there um the the hollywood dialing code 555 that's always used but pete i was just gonna say with your accidental 2400 pounds transfer it's not like you realized like three seconds later and stopped it and they went

oh you transferred 1600 pounds there lucky you stopped it yeah it happens in one go that's just how it is anyway um emails we promise emails at some point so hello at luke and pete show.com pete have you got one ready or would you like me to go first i've got one i'll go ahead stefan should i go for stefan's one go for it uh listening from the very beginning but first time contributing something that's hopefully interesting i was listening to your mond Monday episode a couple of days ago. Dig it. You brought up the Europe versus Asia glass discussion, which led into talk of QI. This reminded me of a topic the QI elves recently covered on their podcast,

No Such Thing As A Fish. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. Up there with the Luke and Pete show when it comes to quality listening. The topic in question was mirrors. Not strictly related to your glass chat, but an interesting aside. While glass was widely used in Europe, mirrors were very much rarer during the early modern period.

Mirrors were made exclusively in Venice for hundreds of years with no one else knowing the techniques involved. So they completely monopolized the market. Can you imagine not having access to a mirror and then having a mirror? It would be like the greatest 4K gargantuan television you've ever heard of and you've ever seen in your life. Like going from not seeing mirrors to mirrors. It must be the thing your house had to have, a small mirror.

Didn't we get an email from Dan about this last week as well, about glass and not mirrors, but about the Venetians' kind of aspect to it? Well, so it goes on. A small Venetian island, Murano, where the glassblowers lived and the mirrors were made. The mirrors were very expensive at this time, costing as much as a naval ship.

So determined were they to get these traded secrets that in 1547, this I think adds to the story before, the Venetian government sent assassins to kill two mirror makers who would travel to Germany to sell their wares. They would even hold workers' families hostage if they left the island to ensure that they would return. This all fell apart in 1665

when France borrowed some of the mirror makers, though they were still not allowed to watch them work, so they did what any reasonable country would do and kidnapped the workers' families so the Venetians didn't have a hold on them. France went on to build a large hall of mirrors and the Venetian mirror market collapsed. However, during this, all of the

poor mirror makers did go insane because of all of the mercury poisoning. So there we go. I can believe that. I think also one thing to take away from that is that if I was in charge of a 16th century Central European government of some kind, I would be sending out assassins probably every day. Left, right and centre, yeah.

It would just be one of the best parts of the job. Well, you'd be training them up and then you'd be like sending an assassin out on a job and then you'd realise, oh, now that assassin knows too much. He's getting assassinated. And then you've basically just made an inter-assassin community civil war there in many ways. I think the existence, the first discovery

and subsequent early existence of mirrors would be an amazing thing, wouldn't it? Because what other opportunity would people have had to look at themselves other than just some posh sod doing a drawing of them? Or looking into a sea. What if you weren't near a sea or a bowl of water? Surely a still pond would be better than a sea. A still pond, I imagine, yeah.

But wouldn't it be amazing for the first time being like, whoa, that's actually what I look like? That would give people an amazing sense of their own self. Well, apparently, according to Stefan, he did go on the email saying that the Romans did have mirrors well before the Venetians, but the technology was lost during the Dark Ages. How do you forget that? Idiot! Idiot! but the problem

is in 2020 none of us i mean you're a bit more technically minded than me to say the least but none of us really know how anything works if someone came from a different world and you showed them around your house and they said oh this that's brilliant how does that work and it could be anything could be it could even be just a radiator. How does that work? I would have to say to them, at some point, water is heated into those tubes and it makes the house warmer. And they would just ask one more question. That would be me out of my depth. Yeah, I'd have that.

So knowledge gets lost all the time is what I'm saying. The big tech news this week. I'm saying. The big tech news this week, possibly one of the most important tech changeovers in modern computing. I'm not overselling it, I don't think,

when I say that. The Mac, the humble Apple Mac, they're going to be moving away from Intel processors to their own processors. In an iPhone, you've got a processor that's made by Apple, ARM, I believe it's called. I didn't know they used

Intel processors. I thought that was like a Microsoft thing. No, no, no, no. Everything uses Intel processors or AMD. But the Mac has decided, because the iPhone and the iPad and all of the new mobile stuff is so quick to do all of its calculations at very, very low voltages.

They're moving everything over to, they're going to be using the same chips in the MacBooks and the Macs and stuff like that. and the macs and stuff like that which is going to mean and i and i am almost certain this is going to happen nothing is going to work for about five years that you want to use on your mac you think the usb they've provided developers with little boxes that allow them to become familiar with the new programming for arm architecture and I'm sure a lot of developers are across it. But I just know that every legacy piece of technology you've used in the last 20 years on your Mac will not work on your new ARM processor-enabled Mac. When's this happening? I am frightened.

I presume the next Mac that comes out will be an ARM processor Mac. I'm worried. I'm scared. There's going to be new stories about it in the next mac that comes out will be um an arm processor mark a mac i'm i'm worried i'm scared there's going to be new stories about it in the next three months and we're all gonna be fucked why is that gonna be like they've done it because uh the intel um processors weren't becoming more powerful quick enough and they were drawing too much energy whereas the apple processors are smaller um they don't have to be actively cooled quite so much i.e with fans so they can be smaller battery um batteries in

macbooks would last longer um it's all good it's all good stuff but it just means that software people are going to take a long time to get all of their shit all of their ducks in a row and i'm looking at this computer that i'm using right now and i'm going to go this the next iteration of this computer is going to be a shit show it's going to be your your your your granddad watching jurassic park and saying this is going to be a bloodbath yeah could we is it is it too late to do one of the following a go to a cave beneath a nuclear power plant in the fictional German town of Winden and go back in time and stop it. Two, hire a couple of Venetian assassins

to kill them before they do it. To kill the people in charge of Apple. Well, look, that's two options. If anyone's got any other ideas of how we can... Just get in the ball rolling here. ...prevent this terrible thing from happening or possibly excellent thing from happening uh yeah do let us know hello look at pj.com yeah and we'll be back on thursday with your some of your suggested answers um and possibly pete is

it unfair of me to say corrections to that story you've just reported or is it you're pretty confident on the accuracy of that uh i'm confident on the accuracy probably but i'm not confident about the terrible things i've i've said that i want to do to people at apple they'll be fine they're all right they can't they can't be they would be uh worried by a pair of cowboys like us mate we're bad boys for life all right then, then. We'll be back on Thursday. Stay out of trouble. Enjoy the sunshine and just keep cool. Keep cool, guys.

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