The Luke and Pete Show - Big in Japan

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

Guest star Vithushan Ehantharajah from the Football Ramble kindly joins an ailing Pete for a bit of Luke and Pete show fun.... LIVE FROM JAPAN!We talk all things Olympics, all things convenience stores and whether you can truly trust a store that has a tiny cardboard policeman guarding its wares.Oh, and Pete's got an update on his driving test. Could only happen to him, the daft prick. (Yes this is Pete writing about himself in the third person.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke Peat Show. It is the 2nd of August. I'm Pete Donaldson, and Luke's not in for this particular show, but a man by the name of Fetushin Outhandra, Oh, my God. Is that the first time I've ever fucked up your name, Vish? Lordy. I don't think i've ever done that that that if you had a name that uh western audiences would say would be an easier name i would have fucked that up uh and i've got a very good excuse because i've got fucking covid

i'm not very well vish all right feel sorry for me i do a little maybe that's a side effect. Maybe syllables. Being a little Englishman who can't remember foreign names. Oh, dear. Vish, you are currently in a very, I'm going to say a small box room from the camera. Where are you and what are you up to? I'm currently in Tokyo covering the Olympic Games. Yeah, it's a weird room because I always imagined that L-shaped rooms were, you know, were done with a purpose whereby they, you know, they tried to make the most of what space they had. And yet somehow by being in an L shape it's it you know it's not

particularly efficient space wise although weirdly my bathroom you have to step up into it right okay yes yes okay um which you might be able to tell me that might be a japanese thing maybe they like maybe they like the ceremony of going to the bathroom. Like a podium. Yeah, like an Olympic podium. There have been a lot of podiums this last week or so. Because I do feel like it's an event. You can't go for a wee in the middle of the night without having all your senses about you.

Otherwise, you're just going to fall into the toilet. Yeah, fall into a very high bath. The thing that gets me about Japanese bathrooms, certainly in smaller... Because it looks like you're in some sort of business hotel. The whole kind of bathroom is built as one unit. They get installed as one big unit. Yes.

Yeah, it does seem like I could take out the bathroom and put in a different bathroom of similar size. Yeah, that's exactly right. I find it quite strange, but I've been here now like 14 days. So I'm officially out of the, you know, the general Japanese quarantine because for the Olympics, we had to do three days,

very strict quarantine. And then we were allowed between the hotel and the venues. But now as of tomorrow, as of, yeah, as of Tuesday, I can kind of roam the streets wow so so hang on so you're um so it's now one o'clock in the morning pretty much cracking on for it and you are technically free to go outside and just go for a wander around and

do whatever you want in tokyo from now yeah basically basically i have i've kind of i thought maybe i'd like almost New Year's Eve it, where I'd count down to midnight and then just go fucking mental. Instead, you decided to do the Luca Pizzolo version of Kieran. Yeah, Kieran Honeydew. That's what I'm calling this one. Oh, wow. Well, it's lovely to see your face and it's lovely to hear your voice.

Have you been to Japan before? Because as pretty much everyone who's listening will know um i absolutely bummed that place it's my favorite place to go it's my favorite place to be it's the it's the place that does the best convenience stores it does the best bars it does the best partying um had you been to japan before had you been through it no no never never actually right i um i've not really been to too many parts of east asia i've been to malaysia and singapore um haven't been japan haven't done china i haven't done taiwan um i say those three those three places i i really do want to go to um but it's weird because even though i've had a very stale um experience of of japan and also specifically tokyo i can absolutely see why you fell for it like the just even just the people are so incredibly nice and i i think that was

the thing i was a little bit wary of because i think i told you this before but basically in the lead up to olympics we get this thing called a playbook which is essentially usually it acts as a bit it's more of a guidebook really so it tells you all the venues are it tells you all the different things you can do in the city like the best buses the trains and transport links and all that whereas this one was was all about things you couldn't do and it was up i ended up getting emails more or less every two weeks and then they became every week because they would strip something away. You know,

as, as it got closer to the games. And one of them, one of the playbooks, I think it was about a month ago said that basically said a paraphrasing here, but it was like, be very respectful because of obviously the situation in Japan and know that if you're, if you're around

around town and you're doing things you shouldn't be doing we have encouraged locals to take photos of you and post it on social media so essentially they were like really pushing the public shaming element of i suppose needing to adhere to you know to the covid situation over here so that made me you know when i arrived i was a bit like fuck me this is gonna be this is gonna be very very grim but it's it's honestly been lovely you mentioned the convenience stores i mean i've got a lawson's and 7-eleven um outside my door and they are just i mean what are we doing in in the uk why haven't we why don't we have seven different types of cheesecake in a 7-eleven why don't we why don't we have a little know, little kind of hot kiosk at the front

of a convenience store that only sells types of fried chicken? Why haven't we come up with this stuff? And like pork buns and it's the fried chicken that kind of really sort of like hits the spot for me because there are seven at any moment of the day or night, you can be walking into a shop and they'll have seven different kinds of fried chicken some hot some cold some some spicy some not some like uh cheesy sometimes they just put cheese in it for no reason yeah there was um i had uh i think it was a couple of nights ago i came back about one o'clock and i hadn't eaten anything and i was like oh i wonder if i got anything and they just had these chicken nuggets that were ketchup and mustard flavour.

And I was like, fine, I'll try that. And it was as if I dipped them in ketchup and mustard. And it was actually really nice. It'd probably been in there for about the best part of 10 hours. And it was still very good, yeah. I had my first bento box today at the Olympic Stadium. Yeah, that was an experience. That was very nice. All kinds of weird kind of like colours, shapes. You're not really sure what you're eating. first bento box today at the uh oh yeah at the olympic stadium yeah that was an experience that

was very nice all kinds of all kinds of weird kind of like colors shapes you're not really sure what you're eating you're not really sure whether if you're if you're not a meat eater you're not eating meat i don't know how vegetarians managed to do it in japan but they managed to do it half an egg as well always half an egg half an egg there's always half an egg in there the thing the thing that gets me about the ones, the little bento boxes, and even like Western dishes, like spaghetti, they do like little spaghetti bolognese in the 7-Eleven, and you take it to the man behind the counter,

and at suey, hot, can I have it hot, please? And he bangs in this weird laser microwave that takes about 10 seconds, and then you've got this piping hot, pretty decent bit of pasta. It's insane. Yeah, yeah. I'm just, they seem to get the packaging of food spot on, don't they? In terms of like, you buy like a, so I became, I've become obsessed with basically, you know,

those little katsu sandwiches. Yes. And. Sandwichi. Yes. And. Sandwiches. Yes, yes. And I always think that, you know, it's probably going to be a little bit stale, but the packaging is so good that it's still very fresh. I don't know when it's made.

They hit crusts though, don't they? Oh my God, I was going to say. They never hit crust on them. I was going to say, what is that about? The shame of heat. The shame of something being burned or cooked. Incredible. Yeah, they just cut all of the

all of the edges off it. It's very, very strange. Yeah, it's a very good place for children and fussy eaters. It is, yeah. Their major kind of bread is melon pan. Pan means bread. And it's just this melon-flavored. And you sort of go, well, this is going to be magical

because it seems to be their national dish, and it's everywhere, melon pan, melon pan. And you eat it, and it's like, I mean, it tastes slightly like melons, but not that. And I'm talking for a man who's got COVID. I can't taste anything. I put Tabasco on a scone yesterday, Vish, just so I could taste it. Do you know what's good?

So my partner had COVID last year and she lost a sense of taste. And so what we started doing is we started cooking meals that had like texture, that had a bit more texture. Yes. Gravel. Glass. Glass. Glass is good yes um but yeah so like maybe maybe you should try that just to like bring some joy back to eating yeah um and and the iron i'd probably appreciate the iron from my blood from my mouth yeah yeah so how so so what is that so how have you kind of enjoyed the...

Because obviously you have been kind of like ferried back and forth to the greatest show in town, back to your hotel every night. How have you sort of like dealt with that? Did you have a good view from your hotel room? Did you manage to... Are you able to float about to a certain extent? Yeah, to be honest, it's been a lot better than I anticipated. Basically, there's a main press centre, which is based in Tokyo, Big Sight.

Right. Okay. Yes. And so it's a, I don't know what they normally use it for, but it's basically like a huge complex where I've shared a couple of photos of it on Twitter, but it's essentially, there's this main bit, which is essentially a huge newsroom which is where all the all the journalists are and it's quite a cool place to be in because it's like a hub of activity and within there there are like three different restaurants and there's a convenience store

that's why i send you the photo of all those like packaged like those packaged sweets and stuff like that and um yeah and it's so big that you kind of walk around there so if i've got work to do and i've got if i'm not going to an event i'll just go there and work there for like three hours and just chill out a little bit so rather than kind of having to sort of sit and sit in your room a little bit well that's nice yeah yeah so it's it's been you know it's been not bad at all actually it's been it's been, you know, it's been not bad at all, actually. It's been quite fun. Have you sort of experienced the wealth of Japanese vending machines? Obviously, people talk about those quite a lot. But the range and the different kinds of pop, fizzy pop you get, it's amazing.

Yeah, and they're big on cold coffee here, aren't they? Mm, yeah. Cold boss coffee. Yeah, so they have all different kinds. I'm a big coffee drinker, and obviously in the heat, it's been the hottest day, actually, since I've been here. But yeah, that's been a godsend. And yeah, the vending machine's everywhere, though.

And, you know, growing up in England, or I suppose growing up anywhere, you get conditioned to how things are there. And I'm still amazed in the UK when I see a vending machine that hasn't been vandalised in some way. Or when you pick something out of the bottom and your hand isn't wet and you're like, what's that? Why is there a nest in there?

But yeah, so they have vending machines in the street like literally just out in the street and they're all immaculate yeah and no one's messing them and there's just so many of them and there's like weird ones that are kind of off-brand kind of run by an independent company so they've just put it in mad stuff like like little plastic beetles you can buy and it's just like and you think what so hang on so somebody's rented out this like this this this this this vending machine plonked it where they they live or work and and they're selling pot noodles uh spaghetti or little plastic beetles and it's like what who's going to buy that well obviously i bought that so they've obviously they've obviously researched it quite nicely but like and then there's ones that'll just be making

stuff like you'll get like um hot um there's like pizza machines and stuff like that and i realize this this show is rapidly descending into isn't japan crazy but it is bloody crazy it is yeah the um i haven't come across the pizza machine yeah but the um so there's a there's a show on netflix called ugly delicious um with david chang who's this american chef um his family from korea i can't remember if he's born in korea or not but basically one of the episodes is about pizza and it ends with him going to Japan and he meets, um, as he's,

I'm sorry. And they go to this pizza place. And I think it was one of the first that had one of those kind of certifications from Naples that this was authentic Neapolitan pizza. And now there were like loads of places in Tokyo that, that had this, um, I suppose this,

like this certificate certification as it were. Um, I think as he says in that he was like if you introduce something to Japan or Japanese culture come across something they'll be really respectful they'll abide by the kind of guidelines

that you put on it and then they'll do it better than anyone's done it yeah by doing by the kind of guidelines that you put on it, and then they'll do it better than anyone's done it. Yeah, they're such a craft. Yeah, and by doing it brilliantly and making it original while also staying true to what it was when it was introduced to them. And I find that a little bit because they have loads of South Asian restaurants here. And I haven't tried them, but they're all quite highly rated.

And I imagine that's because they're just so respectful of how, for example, you make a curry from scratch that they just nail it, yeah. And they're obsessed with that authenticity. But they don't mess with the formula, but they'll certainly find the best ingredients and do it the best and take their time over it. And I think more importantly,

possibly just train their staff better. Yeah, there's a bit of that as well. I guess compared to ones that you see in like kind of, I don't know, an airport or something. What I was going to say, so you've been out there for a few days. How have you enjoyed the Olympics? It's been, I think, from what I hear over there,

the Japanese aren't that buzzed about it actually happening over there. But I think for the rest of the world, I think we're all enjoying it, aren't we? Yeah, I mean, I was going to throw that back at you because obviously the time difference is a bit, you know, we're eight hours ahead here um in terms of like british summertime but um no it's been incredible really it's the first time i've ever covered an olympics and like having done like cricket tours and you know just off the back of the euros it's it's quite easy to get invested in it because so much is happening all the time and you really feel like you're you're part of it and like especially more so now given the situations that we're working in but the other

thing about the olympics is that like without question it is the pinnacle of these people's careers so you know i've covered a lot of sports that i don't normally cover and i was you know very nervous going into them but you ride off the emotions and the effort of other people don't you they've kind of fought tooth and nail to come here and there was a there was a really interesting moment in um one of the swimmers i think his name's uh i can't remember his first name i isolate uh i think it's james will be something like that um he he's uh kind of he's not near the end of his um swimming career but he's it's unlikely that he unlikely that he'll qualify for the next Olympics,

given how many good young swimmers are coming through in the UK. And we were doing a mix zone with him after he just, he failed to qualify for the final. And he was quite emotional and he was talking about his mum. And then you could tell, it was obvious he was wrestling with the fact that he was going to say that with the fact that he was gonna say that he was he felt bad that he didn't do his mum proud and having been in enough of those interviews before you kind of know when it's coming and you know it's really it's a really

good lot from a journalist point of view it's a really good line because it's so it's so full of heart and so full of soul and it really speaks of the sacrifice that people around you make and how you it's not just about what you want to do for yourself or what you want to do for them and as it was happening you know six or seven journalists i was i was with collectively we were like please don't say this because obviously it's a great line but like you absolutely haven't like you you've not done you've your mom is proud of you no matter what the fact that you're you're in a fucking olympics mate you know you've worked incredibly hard to get here please don't say that you know you've let your mum down because you absolutely haven't and he kind of stopped short of doing that but he it was so emotional that genuinely a couple

of the journalists i was with started crying because it was yeah because you're like fleet street filled with absolute scoundrels and you're instead of getting the story you're literally going don't do it to yourself you're not that man wow because you're like legend because the um like it's quite a transactional relationship because you know they they want they want to put their stuff out there they want to be more publicized and because you know if their name's out there that opens up all kinds of opportunities and and you know we obviously want stuff that's well read and interesting but in that moment it's like it's the highest he's ever going to be

and that's reflected in so many different ways it doesn't need to be from him saying something really really touching and especially when it pained him that much, it was like, no, mate, don't, please don't. Yeah.

Oh, Vish. Well, I mean, you wrote it anyway, so. Yeah. He said it.

What was that stuff about your mum not being padded again? Oh, well, that's a lovely note to end the first part on. This is what, see, this is why Vish, whether he's in a hotel room after sinking a couple of cans or just, you know, on the Rambo at 10 o'clock in the morning,

that's why he's such a lovely man. Right, we'll take a short ad break and we'll be back with more Luke and Pete show with Pete and Vish. We're back with Luke and Pete show with Pete and Vish. If you'd like to get in touch with the show, it's really simple. Hello at LukeandPeteShaw.com is the email address at Luke and Pete Shaw on Twitter. I think I'm getting everything right, Vish. You'll have to sort of help me if I'm getting things right.

I'm very tight. Vish, I passed my driving test and then later that day got COVID. What are the chances of that? Yeah, I mean, like the people always say that, you know, something happens in the universe and then, you know, there's a counter-occurrence somewhere else, but rarely does it carry within one man. It's usually on the other side of the world, isn't it?

Yeah, and I said, I've let my mum down. I've let my dad down. Can you talk me through your driving test? You've probably spoken about it before but in terms of, did you know the moment that you'd pass when you pulled up

oh no vish I was passag for about 25 minutes because I thought I'd fucked it about 10 minutes in I pulled up on the left he said pull up on the left I did, mounted the curb ever so slightly and I thought i

fucked it i've absolutely fucked it i've done i've fucked and i was fuming i was fuming he said don't worry about going to london calling roundabout um let's just go back to st albans and i thought he's taking me back to the thing and give me you know give me the give me the amazing news and i was so angry with myself and he was being so chatty and sort of light and sort of going, oh, where did you get your watch from, mate? And I was going, get fucked. I've just failed my fucking driving test, you fucking prick. And I was so angry and I was like,

it's going to be another three months. And I wasn't even paying attention because I was so angry with myself. I was just fucking bashing out right turns when I shouldn't have been bashing out right turns. But luckily, none of those things was a major. And I got back and he said, you've passed. And I could not believe it.

I thought I'd fucked it about 10 minutes into the drive. And he was like, I thought you were being a bit off with me. And I was being a bit off with him. I just couldn't understand why he was being so nice. I was so angry at myself and so angry at him sort of being all chatty and that oh the uh so when i when i passed i also had that moment where i thought because so i stalled in the test that i passed but because i stalled at a traffic light and restarted it wasn't i think it was a minor wasn't it it wasn't a major um and and so. And so because of that, I thought, oh, I'll fuck it.

And I was like, well, I'll just drive then. You know, I'll drive the rest of the half hour. Why are we not going back to the test centre? Why are we not stopping now? But I also think that, like, imagine if you thought, oh, fuck it, I failed, whatever. There's some glass doors over there. Exactly. I was thinking at over there exactly i was thinking he's

taking i mean i was thinking at the time i was thinking this guy from my perspective he's just failed me in his head i've just failed myself he must be very uh trusting that i'm not just gonna just like drive to 80 miles an hour and just take us into a bloody hedge or something and and you know and just kill us in a big fireball because i might be unhinged well yeah more on it yeah i imagine i believe it's oh i like you what she's taking off and throughout the window do you want that do you want to take that from me as well do you yeah oh no yeah they're so trusting so uh yeah um so we can both drive fancy when you get back should we go for a go for a drive in quicksand car park against each other yes let's do a fast and furious yes

yeah we can why don't we joust we could joust couldn't we we could joust with a big with a big broom or something like that lovely old job yeah so, I mean, that's been my week. I mean, you've obviously had the opportunity of very little, I suppose, just working so bloody hard and being ferried back and forth to the BIC Centre. Is it the BIC Centre, like, owned by, like, BIC, as in BIC Camera, the BIC Camera sellers? No, no, so it's called tokyo big

site oh big oh yes i know big yes i see right right okay so do you know what you know yeah okay right right um yeah so all the all the venues are around that and so you basically go you have to take buses everywhere from like a central bus station and it takes you like because obviously it has to hit all the venues and there are different buses that go to different venues but the ariaki complex has the gymnastics the um urban sports so it has like you know uh you know skateboarding bmx uh and then you've also got the aquatic center so it's all and the tennis as well so it's all in this cluster so it kind of has to hit them on a route so right it's so from tomorrow basically i can walk from the big site to the tennis which takes about

15 20 minutes but on the bus it takes 45 minutes because it goes down all the different ways. And then it has to kind of go on a motorway to come down onto the lower ground. It's really weird and quite annoying. But yeah. That's a problem, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

So with like the urban sports, the skateboarding and that, people over here have been, I mean, the vocal kind of minority of like reactionary pricks have been on twitter sort of um you know talking about what like why is skateboarding uh part of the olympics but like do you kind of get that because i really don't get any of that like out of all of the things you would express um surprise at being part of the olympics is skateboarding because

skateboarding is technically fucking hard and bmx is technically fucking hard like out of all of the things and it's graceful and there's artistry and there's hard work and there's so out of all of the things you could complain about um it's not one of them for me yeah it's a funny one because I'd probably say I was a bit in that camp, in that probably more from the sense that, you know, you've really got to be cynical with anything the IOC does. And so to my mind, it was like, well, they've seen the X Games. They've seen how much money there is to be made out of, you know, things like BMX and skateboard and uh skateboarding and i

was like well i mean there's only one reason they're doing this it's just to kind of right okay shifting on on that terrain as well and and get kind of you saw a guy do a kickflip and you were like fucking hell so i i was at the um i was at the bmx where um oh god i'm having so many mind blows but um worthington won the the women's freestyle gold basically yeah so did the um 360 flip yeah the first woman to complete that in competition yeah and it was it was genuinely stunning you had all riders had two rides each they took the best ride out of the two 60 seconds she fucked up that trick in the first in the first ride the american went and got 96 on and like you know it was the first time i was watching it but watching the american do i was like that looks incredible surely that's gonna win

and then this woman just rocks up and does exactly the same trick and nails it and then nails the whole routine and it was so yeah it was just so incredible to watch and i and does exactly the same trick and nails it and then nails the whole routine. And it was so, yeah, it was just so incredible to watch. And I think the other thing off the back of that is that it really is the ultimate, to me anyway, in the way that I would see the Olympic, it is the ultimate sport in that it is clearly incredibly hard to master. It clearly requires a lot of sacrifice. It clearly is in some way the pinnacle for bmx because especially now it's you know these are the first medals that are being handed out for it um but also it's so accessible like i wrote in my report on the um on on her win that i was like

it was the kind of performance that would win people over people who only know bmx is you know the unruly kids in the neighborhood who low ride down the middle of performance that would win people over. People who only know BMX is, you know, the unruly kids in the neighborhood who low ride down the middle of the street or on the pavement, the ones who are seen as a bit of an inconvenience. And, you know, like I've, you know, growing up, you know, a few of my friends or a few people at my school had BMX and they would do like tricks all the time. And it's so strange to see that on such a on such a higher plane and and you know done with with so much i suppose effort and

intensity and the sacrifice as well also the other thing about skateboarding um and bmx is you know you might follow the gymnastic stuff with simone bars talking about the twisties and being too in her head and how dangerous that was with the um the skateboard medals that were handed out last week the podium was two 13 year olds and a 14 year old yes and and you know you know the bmx riders as well they're all quite young and you realize that like putting your body on the line it's really like a kid's thing isn't it like because because you know you're quite i suppose like bouncy as a kid and also like you don't really care if you get hurt and you know you've got nothing to lose and i guess you're kind of um a little bit lighter would that be fair to say yes if i trip over i go down like a sack of shit like all of the time but

if but you know when i was a kid i remember sort of going that didn't hurt because i'm just so light yeah and i think like the only way i'd be able to have that kind of or if i to obtain that i don't know that balance ability now would be like i don't know maybe 10 pints well you do become kind of, you get your beer jacket on and that also kind of like prevents you from getting damaged anyway, doesn't it, I suppose? Like those, what do they call them? MRIs, mysterious rave injuries.

Like you just wake up with bruises that you just didn't realise you had. Yes, yeah. Oh, I miss that. I miss that. Just like, yeah, like when you've been out dancing the night before and then you wake up and you're like, what happened to my hip? When did I get hit by a car? What is this?

I think the only time I've ever really hurt myself where I thought that could have been the end was just not that far away from where you are now. I sort of started walking down these stairs that I just thought was down to a bar and slipped and just kept running like down the stairs like at a horizontal thing uh and uh managed to flip over my back at the last moment uh and just missed like just smashing my head off the off the ground and the wall um in shibuya in japan and i looked up and i saw the most feckless of all of my friends and just

looking up at him and i was like he's not going to be able to call an ambulance he's not going to be able to sort me out he's not going to be able to rescue me so were you quite badly hurt i was quite bad i had to go back to the hotel in shizuku and i was just bruised all up my right side and that was the end of the evening uh but then for the rest of the trip, I was just breathing badly. I think I broke a rib. It's just horrible. Horrible. Horrible business.

What I was going to say. So we'll wrap up here. Thank you for joining us, Vish. I do need to squeeze in an email before we leave. Now, Vish, are you familiar with, you know, in like down-at-heel shops in Britain, they'll sometimes put a cut-out cardboard policeman in the window and sort of go,

like, we know what you're up to. We know what you're up to, and this policeman will remind you of the long arm of the law. And I say it makes your shop look shit. How do you feel about this? Do you sort of look at... If you walked into Harrods

and you saw a cardboard cutout policeman, would you be impressed or would you take your shirt off like Jess and Donovan? I think if I was walking past... Because it's generally... I suppose, yeah, you said it there, like shops on the lower end.

I probably think... Pound structure. Yeah. I would see that and i would think i could rob the shop if i wanted to because they'll get on your phone yeah i always think that with them whenever they have like presumably evolution has taught birds not to be scared of scarecrows yes yeah and so they see a scarecrow and probably think right there's something of value in here And so they see a scarecrow and probably think,

right, there's something of value in here. And I think if I saw like a different mentality, but like if I saw that, I'd be like, not even the real police are going to come. You've had to buy a cardboard policeman. You must have some kind of rule about shrinkage. If you've got a cardboard policeman, your shrinkage rate must be quite high.

So you're never going to chase me. You're never going to chase me. Well, Graham from Canada says, basically, when there are pictures or posters of eyes, any eyes will do, apparently, people will be more honest and generous. We as a species respond strongly to being watched, which sounds a bit kinky. So strongly, in fact, that just the depiction of an eye subconsciously makes people feel like they're being watched and behave more pro-socially. Studies have found that people will donate more money,

be more sharing, pick up trash at bus stops, be less likely to steal bikes and follow the rules in honour systems like cafeterias. It's not going to make a hardened criminal suddenly rethink his ways and live a life of crime, but it could deter more upstanding members of society from doing some stupid things in the moment. A little bit cheeky shoplifting at the automatic machine at the front.

Yeah, that is interesting. Look, yeah, my mum used to tell me and my brother whenever we went out that there were cameras watching us. Right, okay. And obviously, you know, when you're in a shop, you're like, oh yeah, fine, fine. But then sometimes we'd be out in the street and like be misbehaving and she'd be like,

you know there's cameras here? And we're like, oh. So yeah, maybe that's part of it, yeah. I like the idea that the cameras were like not only looking for actual criminal behaviour, just general stuff your mum didn't like. Hold on. Sarge, has he just punched his little brother in the arm? I was thinking, yeah, yeah, just get him.

That's common law assault. Get him. Get Vish. Well, Vish, thank you for joining me this evening or this morning. What are your plans for tomorrow? What have you got on tomorrow? What are the big events? Simun is heading back to the bar. No, horse.

What do you call that thing? The platform. What's the thing they do? Podium. Pommel horse. I thought it was a horse. I don't know what they call it. It's very confusing.

The problem with these Olympics, because they're on very early, and I'll equate it to the Korea-Japan 2002 World Cup, like events are just starting immediately when you wake up. And I've just woken up. I don't know who's in pole position. I don't know who's winning. I don't know what's been happening overnight. It's difficult, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. We've got to file something at 6 a.m so 2 p.m here and then wow 8 a.m so 4 p.m here just for just to get that hit of people waking up basically yeah um but it's yeah how's the juice of bokeh how's the uh how's the juice of bokeh means time stupidity uh jet lag how's it um jet lag? It's not too bad, really. Like, it probably actually helped the absurd hours I'm keeping at the moment. I think I'm going to crash like a motherfucker when I get home. But, no, it's not too bad.

Tomorrow I've got – I'm doing India-Belgium in the women's hockey. Right, okay. Or the men's. I should probably check that out. Are they wearing skirts? They wear skirts in the women's game, don't they, I think, and shorts in the men's? Or is it both shorts?

I can't remember. I think it might be. Am I being incredibly old school? No, no. But I imagine men should wear skirts as well. It would be quite freeing, wouldn't it? The Scottish should be allowed. They should have special dispensation i think yes yeah um and then i'm watching some diving i think at three o'clock so um wow i'm back at the athletics as well so

there's 800 meters this is like it's kind of like a tasting menu this whole job it just seems to be it is a menu of events that's such a good that's such a good way yeah that's such a good way. Yeah, that's such a good way of putting it. It absolutely does feel like that. Yeah. Well, Vish, thank you for joining us. Thank you for taking up a lot of your valuable sleeping time. Enjoy your tiny L room. And yeah, go and have a tiny bath.

I don't know how to say goodbye in Japanese. Jamatane is like, I'll see you later. Jamatane. Jamatane. Jamatane. People, oh, sayonara. Oh,

sayonara, yeah, fuck it, what an idiot. there you go, there you go. We'll be back next week. No,

Thursday. I've got COVID, fuck off