The Luke and Pete Show - Big Screens and Good Beer

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

The Football Ramble World Cup Watch Parties rapidly approach and there’s a lot to be excited about, not least access to toilets and cold pints of My Fizzy Aunt.Elsewhere on today’s episode, discussion of the World’s Most Sensitive Man-Baby and the attempts on his life, more Donaldson lookalikes, and the effects of fentanyl.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail] Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Lucan Sheepete's Luke and I'm Pete Dolson John by Mr. Luke Moore Hello Hello We're recording this a little bit early because I'm doing some recording with Chris in Tokyo

And I am I've got to Tokyo I've got to Tokyo this week And I I'm getting there Sunday night And I'm leaving Friday night

And that is a Real whistle stop tour of Tokyo. I'm arriving in Tokyo Sunday night, flying to Fukuoka for Monday morning. And so basically we're doing some recording from Monday morning to Friday,

getting some shows in the bag and doing some filming. And I don't know what I'm going to be like. And that shot, I've never been somewhere that requires so much travel for such little time. Yeah, it's going to be one of those ones where as soon as you get used to the time,

you're going to be back again. Pretty much, yeah. You're back for the World Cup there, right? Yeah, back for the World Cup, baby. Can't wait. Are you excited for the Rambled World Cup watch party? I am, yeah. That is going to be an absolute dream.

I mean, the problem is we are, the problem is like the, I imagine the meet time. To make sure to corral the cats, so to speak, to herd the cats, you know, you know, generally gets a meeting time in the sort of late afternoon.

and the fizziant will be fizzian the fizziant will be arunting and the match isn't on until is it 10 o'clock? 9 p.m, I think the first one. 9 p.m. Okay, that's slightly better, but I'm just wondering.

But you know, I was, I didn't consider this. I was, I was, the guy who hosted the past, I was on the panel, as I said to you on Monday, I was on the panel with, but I didn't say it was on with Adam Smith, who's a TV host, James Alcott, who I think you're probably familiar with, and it was hosted by a guy called Connor,

who I was asked to do the panel by Jordan Schwarzenberger, who is the manager of the sidemen. But his guy, his right-hand guy who was hosted that stage, is this guy called Connor, who's a big ramble guy, and he's a big, he's his patron subscriber and stuff, and he said, I've got tickets for me and my wife to come to the World Cup Watch Party, and I said, oh, that'd be great.

And he was like, I'm a bit worried it's going to be carnage. And I was like, oh, well, how do you mean? like, well, it opens at five, right? I was like, yeah. And he said, and people aren't going to come straight there. They're going to have been out all day because it's like, it's the World, England World Cup Day. And then you've got another four hours before the game actually kicks off.

And I was like, oh, fuck, yeah, I didn't really think about that? And I saw Vish later that day. And Vish was like, mate, this World Cup party is going to be mad, isn't it? And I was like, oh, yeah, probably is, isn't it? I don't know how I'm going to, I don't know how I'm going to pace myself. The problem is, like, as soon as I turn up and there's a pump with beer, with lager specifically coming out of it, I'm just these days. and just like get one in my hand please.

Yeah. It's delicious. This is delicious. We're going to have to do that little mini ramble before I end at like five past five. Just do it five minutes before I'll start the show. But I keep saying to people, I'm saying to some of my friends as well. I'm saying like, you know, I genuinely think that because the Premier League season hasn't ended yet. Yeah.

People are going to not think about England. Now it's going to change a little bit because Thomas Duker has fucked it by picking the world's most boring squad. But as soon as the Premier League is finished, people are going to be into it and they're going to want to start to get involved.

And the first one's sold out already. So like, you know, the great thing about, I think the Ramble World Cup watch parties, we've done them before is that it's a pretty safe, pretty fun, go like-minded environment.

It's not that you're in some kind of terrible pub where it could all kick off or there's people who don't like football or whatever. It's actually ideal for what you want. Yeah. And there's only in total, I think there's in total 1,200 tickets across all three shows. So people have three games.

So people need to get stuck in. They need to crack on. I was saying to my friends, like, you need to buy tickets. You need to buy them. I can't guarantee. I'm not going to give you any tickets because we're not allowed to. And you're going to miss out. So I keep trying to emphasise that.

I've bought a couple of pairs. It's probably sensible, actually. Probably sensible to do so, yeah. The thing about something like that is, is, certainly last tournament, I remember sort of, you're in town, you're just, I just want to watch the match, and there's nowhere that's letting anyone in, and it'll be ticketed or if you can't see anything, I'll be ticketed,

or like one time I think we went to the casino, and it cost us like the best part of 100 quid each, and it was just insane. I mean, I didn't have to go on the roulette table, but I did. No, it was, it was, yeah, it was just a bit silly, really. And it was dry, it was just a bit dull, but I think it's that nice mixture of a bit of an atmosphere, like a lot of an atmosphere,

and also just, you know, having access to toilets. There won't be big screens there and the beer will be good and it's competitively priced and they won't be any racists. You know, it'll be... Apart from Pete, there won't be...

Oh, by the way, speaking of that, I just shared... I just shared something in the in the Rambor WhatsApp of Mark Gatis dressing up as Jacob Rees-Mogg for Halloween. It looks exactly like you. Yeah, he looks...

Well, no, he looks like the bloc out of sparks. I don't have, yeah, I mean, yes, pretty, it's pretty close. Pretty close to, pretty close to the bone, the Hitler bone, sort of speak. Does it bother you how often you look like, you were told that you look like Hitler? Well, it's not really, it's more of a problem when it's Eurovision, and I get sent several different people. I was supposed to look like all of them. And I've just, I've just given up after a number one, to be honest.

There's always a new one around the corner. You could change your appearance. appearance a bit, couldn't you? How would I do that exactly then? Do a block up the darkness and get me teeth fixed, show my head, yeah. You always think about that, the old shave in my head,

but I think I'd start to look a bit like Kevin Spacey. I'm starting to get a bit of a hair island. That's what. Imagine that. You actually look even more like another awful person. Exactly, yeah. There was an old, I think you were clearing up the house before the house move,

and you found a magazine interview with Uslot on the Rumble, the OGs. Yeah, it was like 2009, to what of that? 2009. And I remember exactly where we took those pictures in, like it was in Global Radio's little cinema room. Cinema downstairs, yeah, that's right. Yeah, and I took some pictures.

When it was still G-CAP. When it was still G-CAP. Well, actually, it would have been after they would G-CAP because that's why they spent all that money, didn't they, to make a city. No, but I left before it became global. What? Yeah, yeah, I'd left.

Yeah. He just came back from him. Oh, right, okay. and it's particular pages and I'd not noticed it back then but how much of a spunk was Marcus Beller? Absolutely wasted on him

wasn't it? Absolutely wasted on a man of God I was out there fighting for my life every Saturday night I was trying my very best and Marcus was swaning around like that said no thank you ladies I am devoted to one thing and one thing alone him upstairs

and my life partner once you get married. I was absolutely spitting when I saw that picture. You didn't look too bad though. You looked alright. I love better, but I mean nothing as close as Paul Rudd,

aka Marcus Speller. Can I just Chuck Sank out there fairly controversial? You can, I'm inviting your honest opinion. I actually think I'm better now. Yeah, you are. Yeah. I mean, but you didn't know,

but you don't know how to sort of style yourself back then, do you? It's kind of like beauty is kind of like lost. It dates badly. It dates badly, yeah. They don't really know how to kind of, they don't really know how to use it, I suppose.

You know what I mean? That's why I've never understood, like, men who go after, like, young women, and you're like, A, uh, and also B, uh, because, like, they don't know, it's not like they don't know how to use their good looks, do you know what I mean? They're not in control of their, of their youth, basically, of their good looks. I've never understood, um, paedophiles, basically. That's good to know, actually.

It's good to know. Can't get me head around them. Can't get me a head around them. It's important to make that clear whenever you get a chance. I always just feel like because I've kept my hair, I've done all right. Yeah. It's a big, it's a big ask for a lot of people, I think. The amount of finasteride, we hawk on a weekly basis on all of our shores.

Finasteride and... Does it actually work? Something. It does work, right? But yeah, apparently so, yeah. I think you've got to be careful because I think it can mess with your brain a bit. Yeah, as doctors would say. Well, because your brain can't get the signals because the hair's in the way again.

No. No, I think it's, I think it can drive you to suicidal thoughts. Oh, good. Oh, nice. I'm pleased to hear that. That's exactly, yeah, I've got a full head of hair, but, you know, feel like top of me as well, it's not ideal, is it? I also think it's, you know, basically a lot of the bad stuff that happens in the world,

I'm absolutely convinced is because certain men, powerful men, have either lost their hair or can no longer get erections. Yeah, that's certainly the, I mean, you've got, and you see the Jeff Bezos getting interviewed about the Melania investment that they made? No, I haven't. I saw him making some kind of odd statements about tax failure recently, but that's what I've seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If I paid double the tax, the teachers in Brooklyn or whatever, wouldn't see any of her, whatever. Oh, whatever. He basically said that he was asked about the Malania thing So I'm saying well this just feels like a bit of a bribe in not so much language This feels like a bit of a bribe to Donald Trump Because you've given Malania personally this amount of money for the access rights And you've spent all this money marketing stuff

And he was just basically saying that he would say It was a great business I didn't make that decision But it was a great business decision Because it was very successful It's like no it wasn't What are you talking about It took like 10 grand in the UK

fucking bullshit. Absolutely nonsense. It's such nonsense. It's like the invention of lying, though. I'm not unfamiliar with that films. I've not actually watched it, but I presume it's, you know, someone...

I've watched it. I actually think it's really funny. Yeah. It's really funny. You know, it's just one of those high concept films. But yeah, and it's just sort of like people have just started realizing, oh, you can just bear...

If you just bear face everything, you just fucking tell lies all the time. Like a toddler. Yeah, also, by the way, if you're Jeff Bezos and you're insulated by everything in life and you do one interview a year, so therefore there's no pushback and no comeback.

It's not as though he's now got to do an apology to. He'll just go away for a year. Probably go up on one of his space rockets again. Go and sit on his yacht. If I can do a bit of lobby in the background or someone will do it on behalf of him. And that's that you can tell that basically the way Trump's been dealing with these billionaires,

these tech billionaires, is exactly from the Putin playbook. It's like you can have your money. I won't fucking tax you. You can have all these assets. In return, I expect absolute fealty. Now there's slight differences in how it's gone about because obviously the way Soviet Union fell into disrepair and then Russia came about.

But there was all those assets to be taken and these people took them. And Putin was like, well, you can have them, but I expect you to support me politically for the rest of your life. And if you don't, you may well lose your life. It's not the same exactly, but it's the same principle. That's why they all turned up at Trump's as inauguration. It's all, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Of course they want to work out ways to get money into all their different pockets. And that millennial one was always at 40 million budget, 20.

million went to her for her image rights. Who honestly actually cares about her image rights? She's a fucking empty suit. Like it's a blatant bribe. Like it's just not even fucking, the difference between Trump and the other guys back in the day, at least the other guys tried to fucking hide it. At least that Nixon was,

at the, Nixon had the fucking decency to be embarrassed and ashamed when he got caught. You know, I'd sweat a bit on the TV and then quit. You know, that's the only difference. You know, it's honestly, it's bananas that what's going on now. It's crazy. Absolutely.

And I think also, um, With the World Cup coming up as well, it'd be interesting to see what comes out of that, because obviously even more of the world's eyes will be on it. I mean, I've seen a few people argue that Trump is like the most famous person in history now. The amount of tension he gets, the amount of kind of column inches and coverage and stuff. I mean, you see, he's, that has been his sole focus for a long time,

or it certainly is on his second tenure as president. It just seems to be injured a lot of that, really. Have you seen the Trump phone? Did you see the Trump phone getting delivered to everybody? Yeah, oh my God. Isn't it's like a reworked like a hallway or something? Yeah, it's just sort of rebadged a, and old Samsung or something.

Went there you go. Painted it gold. They hoovered up thousands of $100 deposits, didn't they? And then they got put under pressure to actually make the phone. So they just rebadged the fucking Samsung. Yeah. That's not, that's not unique to the Trump form. Most sort of tech startup sort of thing.

But people are treating it like, oh, it's going to be like its own network and it's not going to be any of that. I see it. I see if you learn anything about this fucking family. They're not going to do that, are they? The other comparison I'd make in terms of the Tim Pot dictatorship is that any of you ever are unfortunate enough to happen across like confirmation hearings for certain like candidates for like set like committee positions and like other kind of federal roles. And the ones that get, um, there's like this whole circus around it now. And obviously the way the committee's work is that

They're kind of populated with like Roughly 50% Democrat, 50% Republican You've got a ranking member Who can be member of a Republican Party or a Democrat Party Depending on how it works And depending on what the committee is And they have to confirm all these appointees, right? It's become like a running fucking joke now

That every single Trump appointee that gets put in front of them The first thing a Democrat representative or senator asks Is did Joe Biden and win the 2020 election And they're not only, of them will say yes. Like none of them? Yeah, he said, he was ratified as the,

he was ratified as the, uh, he was ratified as the, uh, he's like, no. No. That's no.

Can you, can you answer the question? Do you believe? And it's almost like they behave like they're going to, they're going to be throwing a gulag or something. It's, it's really, really weird.

It's like dystopianly weird. Um, but I mean, that's, that's where we are. That's the stage we're at. It's like an android check, isn't it?

It's like, it's like, whether they're an android or not by, I think that's a bit like that. But yeah, it is a bit like that. But my feeling is just that if you are, I don't know, like you've got a role which is like junior assistant to the deputy treasury secretary or something, right? Which is I've just made that up. So that's a federal position that you need to be appointed.

You need to be confirmed, right? What I'm trying to get out is a lot of these jobs that aren't actually that important, right? what kind of human being do you have to be to not go I'll probably just get another job actually I'd rather not live in like this Alice in Wonderland type fantasy world where I have to second guess everything I say to make sure that I don't piss off the world's largest man, sensitive, most sensitive man baby who's also happens to be the President of the United States right Another thing I'll tell you is I was chatting to someone last week who I won't name because it would be unfair

who was at the White House Press Association dinner and you know when that shooter turned up and they were telling this about wasn't the person stealing the bottle of wine off the table was it no it wasn't it wasn't that person no and anyway they said they were just talking about the experience that it was kind of a bit surreal and all the rest of it

but they also said to me that and they said this to me directly that the only reason Trump agreed to go to the White House Correspondents dinner, I think it's called, is because is if he got assurances from all the major outlets that none of them

would take the piss out of him. Right. Which is basically the antithesis of what the event is supposed to be. But I mean, you just thought to myself... Like, you know, I had to make sign up for that, but I mean, who's signing up to that? Well, they all, they all, um, I mean, I guess they all kind of did,

I suppose. Mm-hmm. Right. But, um, how, I mean, if you're, if you're, if you're, How can you look at that and think, oh, what a strong man. What a fucking great guy. So basically this guy has the power to make millions of people's lives of misery and regularly does, yet he can't listen to a joke about him. But that's the thing with, like, how does that conversation go?

I remember so like Dave Grohl talking about there's a hotel rider that he didn't know about. And I don't necessarily believe that. But there's like a rider that turns up at every hotel room of rock stars ever stayed in. Yeah. And like, so he, he protests that he's never had a conversation about what he wants in his hotel room. What he, you know, listen to that. And so, like, having that conversation, Donald Trump, the leader of the free world, you know, multimillionaire and getting richer by the second, concentrate on that. Why are you bothered? Why you, how, how weird it must be for a man in his 80s to be telling someone to tell someone else to be nice to him. It's weird.

Unless, it's recorded in any way. And he doesn't have to do it every. every time he's just got a lot of cronies around you, around him, that just does it do it automatically. I mean, Prince Margaret wouldn't like that kind of thing. You know what I mean? It's just seems... Yeah, but I think it probably goes a bit like the person who organised the event, like the chairman or whatever, speaks to the press officer or the head of press for Trump and says, you are invited to this.

Every president's been to this for the last 80 years or whatever. It's very much like to come. Would you like to come? And I guess the head of press goes back and says, yeah, but these are the conditions. And they tell everyone the conditions. or he doesn't turn up, but guess. It was the correspondence dinner that was why Trump ran in the first place,

wasn't it? It was Barack Obama-Tec that piss at him. That's what they said. That's what they say. That's what they're in the origin story is. But I can't remember what he said it, but someone said that, you know, a dictator can put up with death threats and, you know, plots to kill him and, you know, insults, but they can't put up with, like, five seconds of laughter about them.

But it's just something that unifies all dictators. They cannot bear to be laughed at. I know he's like I know he's three two, three, um, murder attempts through in a second term or, you know, obviously the first one came before he got thing,

I think. He, um, we never hear about our first guy. I had to get conspiracy theory, but, um, we never hear about a first lad who, you know, he managed to gain unbelievable access to the future

president of the, of America. Um, and he just never really hear about that thing. because that was the one that, you know, connected, got as close as possible to him, he'd never hear about him. I don't really, I don't sure if I remember that one. The one that cut his ear, right, that bit of glass,

that he hit the, hit the, teleprud, the bit of glass cut is here. And a lot of people have, it was before the second one, wasn't it? Correct. And it killed a guy in the audience, didn't it, I think? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot, I know a lot of people have a real problem with that as an event, don't they? I'm not saying I do or don't. I don't really know enough about it.

No, I don't think I do either, but. But it is stark how, you know, how much, how much kind of, like, analysis goes into every other part of things that should upset Donald Trump. But we don't hear about the people who, you know, the bloke who hid in the golf course with the gun. We don't hear much about the guy who's just, you know, who's presumably going to be up in court soon. We just don't hear about these people. It's almost as if, like, he's got, like, an order. It's not so I don't want to talk about it because it's not useful to me. It adds to my power base a little bit,

but I think, kind of, or maybe he just feels like it's fucking unstoppable. He just feels like that makes him feel more or look more. But what's the conspiracy theory around the Pennsylvania one that like someone shot his ear on purpose? Or like it was a squib in his earlobe or what? Yeah, yeah. Just any and all of the above really,

just any usual fucking, you know, drawn technology, boy funded by Trump. I remember one thing that I heard someone say, which is that the weirdest thing about the one in Pennsylvania, which is here, the one you're talking about, excuse me, is that if you watch some of the footage, the American flag is raised about 10 seconds before what happens,

and the photo is taken with him going fight, fight, fight, with the flag exactly in the background, it's all a bit too convenient. I'm not saying I believe that. I'm just saying that's what I've heard people say. But to me, if you are going to allow someone to shoot your ear, sniper the shoot rear from like 200 yards away when you're on stage. You deserve it.

You're brave not to be a president. Yeah, I agree. I agree. It's a while. Yeah, weird one. Weird one. Anyway, Peter. We should probably wrap up, really.

You should probably go. Would you want to do a quick email before we go? Let's do a quick email before our ops find out where we all are. Good point. All right. What about this from? From Toby? He says, hi, Luke and hi Pete.

Saw this advertised online the other day. Unfortunately, my name is not Peter, so I cannot take part. He's just clearly a little link called, is your name Peter? Can you crouch? Would you like to win 20,000 pounds? As a company called Dabble, don't know who they are.

The film in a competition in Leeds. Probably. Yeah, film with a competition in Leeds and want you to take part. All you've got to do is be over 25. Yeah, definitely a betting company then. And crouch for the longest to win 20,000 pound. You've got to present a valid ID to prove your name and age.

You've got to be available for the field. you've got to fill out a form and all the rest of it. So all you've got to do is be called Peter and crouch for the longest amount of time. It's a bit like, do you remember that radio competition where people had to touch a car for long enough? Yeah. Didn't someone die, honestly?

Or maybe it was drink so much water. I think in America someone drank... I mean, they generally stopped doing them because people kept dying, didn't they? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think you're going to die crouching. But I would last about 10 seconds.

I can't crouch for longer than about 10 seconds these days. Yeah, exactly. My knees would not handle that. But I guess you would, maybe you could just be one of those guys who takes like fentanyl. You know, like there's American guys who just managed to sort of, they're upright, but they're not really upright. They're sort of like, like, think of too. So that's, you're talking about a thing in San Francisco, right? Those people are just like mannequins.

Yeah. Is that real? Is that real? Yeah, it's really. Yeah, they're all like, I think it's all heroin or certainly the, I'd say the, I thought that was like a dystopian AI thing. No, it's, yeah. They're just, they're standing up, but they're shuffling, but they're sort of bending backwards, I suppose.

I'm in such a good. It looks good. It does look. Like, that's not a natural position for the body to be in. So it must be fucking mind-blowingly good. Delicious. So you're seeing that as a pretty effective advert. Oh, yeah.

Brilliant. Yeah. I just thought it's so bleak. I thought it was, you know what? I honestly thought it was, I thought it was like, like, right-wing conspiracy theories to have a pop at Gavin Newsom in California. This is the state of San Francisco. Yeah, no.

No, I think it's all very real, isn't it? I mean, you go in from Los Angeles, and it's like all that way, basically. You walk down down sort of Skid Row in Los Angeles, which is, you know, it's near the financial districts. You know, people are around. And within a second, you'll see someone's balls. Like, just every time I've been there,

since someone's balls. Because people's like genes of reprimish or something. Is it a, look, if you want to see balls, people shitting on the floor, you know, you'll see. Yeah, but I'm looking up now, Peter. And apparently, Skid Row has been associated with transient populations and homelessness since the 1870s.

Wow. So it's not like it's a new thing. No. A Gavin new thing, you would say. Exactly. But yeah. Exactly. Anyway.

All right, man. Thanks for selling on that email. I trust the street. I don't think, I don't think Pete could do it, not even with the amount of monster energy in his veins. I had a Vimto energy this morning. It was, it didn't say something like Vimtoe, so they let themselves down there.

I love Man, I'm Pete Donnell. We had to record something for AICAST, I think, this today, and we got to say, I'm Pete Donaldson with a little Rumble, and we love Manchester. And I thought of the horrible Vimto I had in the morning. I said, you know what, I don't like Manchester right now because they made a bad drink.

I think so, yeah, it's a Vimto. It's like a Manchester thing, isn't it? They all love Fancy. Like I'm Brub, but from the North West. Fantor. I remember when we had that software available to us at Capital Radio when I was working the sales team

where you could look at where all these products were bought most. Oh, nice. And I was saying that every time I went to Manchester, you just seem like everyone was drinking Fanta, the same way when you go to watch Charleston Athletic, everyone's eating crisps. And I haven't actually got a date about that one out. But in Manchester one, I looked online.

I looked at, like, Nielsen research, and the amount of fucking Fanta being sold in Manchester at a time was off the scale. How weird? Home of Fanta. I'm not sure they still are, but 20 years ago, they loved the fucking Fanta.

Go on tour. All right, and guys, we'll be back on Monday when I'm back from me travels and Luke's back from his travels around his house, big new house. I'm not going anywhere. Don't glam me up, baby. I'm staying here. I'll glam you up. Yes, we'll be back soon.

And look after yourself. And if you want to get in touch, hello at lookingpitchaw.com is the way to do it. We'll see you soon. Ciao, chow. Ciao. The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.