The Luke and Pete Show - Cans

Episode Date: November 29, 2021

It’s Monday, so grab a can and come listen to the Luke and Pete Show! We’ll be having all the usual tipsy chat, from “Dr” Gillian McKeith checking out people’s poo to a man cooking his own testicles.If that isn’t enough to tickle your fancy, we also have an email on the subject of dodgy hand dryers. To get in touch with the show email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

more bounce to the ounce than any other podcast i mentioned bounce the ounce uh look more look more look at peter shop that's what we're doing it's monday welcome um i mentioned bounce the ounce because that's that uh night night, that viral video of that night where just everyone's on pills and they're dancing like crazy people and there's that scary, sweaty bald man doing this going... Oh, yeah. That is one of the most terrifying GIFs. Yeah.

He was interviewed quite recently on a... Was he? They found him? ...Bible or something. And he'd recently split with Mrs... I think lost the kids maybe I don't know and his mate gave him some sweet

sweet Mary oh at the time he had done that married David mother of anal I think there are slang words available

that exist yeah but at the time that had just happened and he was on one he was on one. He was on one. He was on one.

And what's he up to now? I mean, he looks... He doesn't look well. He didn't look well then. No, exactly, yeah. I don't think good lighting improves that man. No.

I guess not. He's very much at his best disco lighting or worse, I think is better said. I can imagine that's absolutely the case.

There's some really... Louis van Gaal in a golf cart. Yeah, exactly. There's some really like... There's a lot of darkness behind some of the gifs you see knocking about, some of the viral things you see happening. A lot of them take place seemingly

in some really almost like godforsaken nightclub in some provincial town somewhere or in a forest in Eastern Europe. Yeah, it's a sort of... I've never been to one, but I would like to see what it was like. You know, like when you're going around the West Way or something

and you're sort of coming up to... before you get above the buildings, effectively, on the overpasses. On the flyover, yeah. On the flyover. You'll see in kind of like places like Tottenham, in places like kind of like near the flyover, yeah. On the flyover. You'll see in places like Tottenham, in places near the Westway, you'll get these dance rave-ups in sports halls

that are just taped to lampposts and stuff. And they're always like DJs I've never fucking heard of. And I'm like, this looks brilliant. I bet this is brilliant. So I accidentally went to one of those ones. Right. Years and years ago. Red stripes from a fridge?

Yeah. It was. So basically it was, I couldn't tell you the exact details because it was in the middle of the night and we had been out. Yeah, this is in East London, not in the West way. And it was like, right. I don't know if it's the case now because I don't really go out very often, but back in the day you felt a bit cheated

because London would always be described as like a 24 hour city but it wasn't really they'd kick you out at like 2 so yeah and so this had happened and we were insured it's somewhere or Hackney

or around there and a mate of mine was like oh we should find somewhere else to go so yeah fine so he made a couple of calls or whatever so I was placed round here and they had a name

I was like yeah great we'll go there turned up and it was literally a sports hall with a bloke sat at a table outside it charging people a fiver to get in. It was weirdly lit. It was beers. I think it was even red straw. I think you might be spot on.

It was cans of beer in fridges and people just standing around and some terrible sound system because it's in a fucking sports hall. It's mental. And people just stood around. And I remember even then thinking, I'm just doing this for the sake of it,

to be honest. Yeah, go through the motions here. Nothing for me here, really. I can't even climb the rope. Yeah. Or the climbing rope that's been put back against the wall. Come on, guys.

Let's play some quick cricket. Or dodgeball, maybe. Quick tennis. Short tennis. British Bulldog. British Bulldog. Not in a sports hall. You hurt yourself. H of dodgeball, maybe. Quick tennis. Short tennis. British Bulldog. British Bulldog. Not in a sports hall. You hurt yourself.

Hurt yourself anyway, brother. So, yeah, I'm not sure there was a huge amount on offer there, but you're someone who likes to... Trip the light fantastic. No, you do. You like to seek out a night out. Yeah. You like to keep going, don't you?

I like to keep going, yeah. Yeah. Did you convince that kid and his dad to go out with you after they were trying to find that Harry Potter one? Get your wand. Let's put our glad rugs on, and let's go dancing. Come on. Do you remember, speaking of

fresh drugs... It's a little bit like a dog there. Do you know that a certain generation of cockney bloke will always start every sentence by going, oh, rem, like that. I sound like that. Oh, rem. Yeah. And they say, so, for example, they also say,

this is really one for the heads. Yeah. And they say, so for example, they also say, this is a real, this is really one for the heads. So a normal, a non-Cockney of that generation would say, for example, it's not as though I planned it now, is it?

Right? As example. Right. They would say, it's not as though I planned it now, is it? Now, is it? That really,

almost like a soft R to a W, almost like a Roy Hodgson, but not the full Roy Hodgson. Yeah. That's something that particularly affects older Cockney blood. I don't know why.

Anyway, what I was actually going to say was, speaking of red stripes in the fridge, do you remember going to Frog at Mean Fiddler

in town? Did you ever go there? Yes, I went to Frog at Mean Fiddler, yeah. And they used to do, the fridges never used to work, first and foremost, and they used to do

£4.50. Even then, 15 years ago, £4. And they used to do, the fridges never used to work, first and foremost, and they used to do £4.50. Even then, 15 years ago, £4.50 cans of Redstripe was the only beer they sold. Scala used to do that as well. And I remember not having a problem with that at the time. Now I wouldn't go near it.

Yeah, Scala and Crinscross used to, Pop, is it Pop World? Pop Stars, the gay indie night, used to drink a lot of cans of Redstripe. And yeah,

they were really expensive. They've always been very expensive. And yeah, go over to Hartlepool a couple of weekends ago, £2.50 for a Stella. Come on. You having that? Pint thereof, barman. Pint thereof.

Lovely old job. Do you still do that thing when you go up to a bar when you speak in a medieval way to the bar staff? What a fussy barkeep. I would like to be, I don't know how you say it please beseech one with a flagon of defoaming do you still do that?

no no and I never did that there's very few times I would like people to know that what you say is not the case but that's one of the occasions I think

I think there are there are fewer pure joys in the world than walking into your local pub and speaking to the landlord like a medieval baron and doing some kind of thinly veiled sexist line towards the barmaid,

calling them a serving wench. Yeah, serving wench. Milk fed. Having a little trot down to the end of the bar and chatting to the fella who used to be in the SAS and having a lovely old time. Yeah.

But these days, right, kids, they love the IPAs, mate. If they're going to, if you took today's use, I'm thinking about

producer Rory and his like, down to a bar in a venue, they'd be saying, before you could even pull a pint, they'd be saying, before you could even put a pint, they'd be saying, where's the Camden Pale? Bruv, I dropped the Doom Bar down my drip.

That's what they'd be saying. That's what they'd be saying. Back in our day, it was just cans. Just cans. Just cans. Well, we've gone back to cans now, haven't we?

But that's stupid. It's the only thing actual illustrators get to do nowadays, sides of cans. But it's been, cans has taken on something completely different now. It's become a thing actual illustrators get to do nowadays, sides of cans. But it's been... Cans has taken on something completely different now. It's become a thing, hasn't it? Cans.

We're going for cans. We're having cans. Going for sips. Was it when the Newcastle United Takeover happened? Cans. Cans, yeah. Cans in the square. It used to just be beers.

It used to be beers, yeah. And now it's cans. Now it's cans. We used to have mini little Belgian lagers, didn't we, in little bottles beer Alsace so little stubbies

so little actual liquid in those little bottles first time I ever got drunk beer Alsace available from I'm going to say Asda yeah

or France stubby beers and green bottles you can pop the cap off I was at a New Year's Eve party with the aforementioned Dave Watson.

I mentioned him on the show before. Yeah. And his aunt and uncle had a house that was so big that you could just get, as a kid, you'd just get lost in it. So they would vaguely know there was kids around and they'd be fine. There was an adult somewhere.

There's adults everywhere, you know? All the beer was stashed outside. We just snuck out there. Had a couple of stubbies. But you assume that at that point, when you were a kid, you were absolutely leathered and your parents are going to know and stuff.

Yeah, I was paranoid, but my parents weren't there. Oh, right. It was his parents. But what about, you've got to drive your little car on. And this old man was in the Navy. Oh, hello.

No, I was only about 14. Right. And we used to steal his old man's cigars and smoke them on the bottom of the garden. Terrible. Terrible behaviour. And then we used to, his old man's cigars and smoke them down the bottom of the garden. Terrible. Terrible behaviour. And then we used to, yeah, have those parties, have those beers.

But the thing is, I don't know about you, but for the first probably year of drinking beer, you don't really like it. It's a really quiet time. Yeah, you've really got to work quite hard. Yeah. I just sort of think, like, you get to a certain age and presumably your dad's,

he's happy to just leave his beers out because no one's going to drink them or his cigars. And then at some point, some little torag starts drinking the beers and smoking the cigars. And you have to think about in your own home, hiding loot, hiding booty from your son. Yeah, and I think the cigar side of it did me a lot of favours long term.

Right. Because it was my first experience of smoking and it was obviously fucking disgusting. like even more disgusting than the cigarette obviously so i never really wanted to go near it and so it was it was easy my dad gets very upset nowadays when i go home and drink his yakult he's he's in inexplicably in 2021 he is banging to his yakult and he's uh he's got them all in the fridge and I can just polish off three or four at a time. But you shouldn't be doing that. Why? Because they're

seven for a week and you buy a pack of seven and they're yours for the week. It's just a bit of yoghurt, isn't it? It's just a bit of sugary yoghurt. I think there are many things that are problematic in this story. Presumably your dad doesn't think that he can just cover up a multitude of things by drinking a Yakult

I think it's his Covid he defeated Covid with it is it pseudoscience the Yakult is it like the old Gillian McKeith

type stuff I think I know that you know stomach bacteria is stomach bacteria but how do any of the bacteria survive after the onslaught

of actual stomach acid like how does it kind of like get past that barrier that's what I want to know I don't know that email in someone yeah that'd be great we'll does it kind of like get past that barrier? That's what I want to know. I don't know that. Email in someone. Yeah, that'd be great.

We'll have some kind of a scientist listening. I don't know the answer to that. Is it quackery nonsense? If I was Joe Rogan, I would make up an answer, but I'm not, so I don't know. It would probably settle us. I think if you've got acid indigestion, which I do have increasingly as I get older,

I think drinking anything milky calms that down a little bit. So it probably makes you feel a little bit better because you're drinking just a sugary, sweet, milky drink. Yeah. I mean, I remember when I worked at Asda, there was a complaint about our department that we were only reducing the Yakults a day before they went out of date.

And the customer, I think, quite rightly said, Say it's one a day. You need to be reducing the pack of seven a day before they went out a day and the customer I think quite rightly said it's one a day you need to be reducing the pack of seven a week before and we then changed our policy that's the only thing I know

about policy and Yakults yeah but how many you've only got a few days before they go out anyway let me tell you something seven days reduced this guy's having I

got you over a barrel mate well listen you're speaking to a pro here at the end of every shit so I'll be doing this I'll be doing the 6 till 3 in the morning or the 7 till 4

or sometimes I would do the late shift why do they need a 6 till 7 till that's when the milk turns up mate just bring it in later

grow up so you're just making everyone's life just that shit because you have to build it round 6s and 7s get fucked

if I'm in the supermarket before 12 o'clock and they're still stacking the shelves I'm like that's my So you're just making everyone's life that shit because you have to build it around sixes and sevens. Get fucked. No, you're making... If I'm in the supermarket before 12 o'clock and they're still stacking the shelves, I'm like, that's my own fault. I'm in the supermarket before 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Ridiculous. No, but it's not about that, is it? It is.

Deliver the milk later. They stack shelves all day. They stack shelves all day anyway. Deliver the milk later. When I was the one getting up at quarter past five, I'll probably agree with you. Yeah, exactly. Trying to help you out here. What I will say is getting up at quarter past five, I'll probably agree with you. Yeah, exactly. Trying to help you out here.

What I will say is this. You love a boat in your mouth, you. What I will say is this. If you're doing the late shift, when you hit a certain time, so the shop closes at 8pm, 5, 6pm, you need to be getting the whoops gun out.

The whoops gun. Yeah, there it is. And it used to be a whoops sticker. Yeah. And it would say, oh, we accidentally reduced the price. What it actually meant was, this is going to have data money to sell it

you can't be doing that on the Yakult they're a pack of seven you have to have one a day can you separate them out you can't sell them separately this is not a London based corner shop

you can't sell multi-pack separately so anyway the point was that you had to reduce it a week earlier I was going to say I don't know the answer

to stomach bacteria but what I do know is that the younger listeners here based in the UK might be surprised by this, but Pete, you'll back me up on this.

There was a period of time when Gillian McKeith, mock TV doctor, was everywhere. She was, yeah. And then she was just gone. Gone. Because it was,

I mean, she just made a, she wasn't actually a doctor. She's been told she's not allowed to use the word doctor in any of her stuff. Which I think is fair enough. I think that is fair enough, yeah.

And yeah, she was just on the telly looking at Pooh. It was fascinating, really, that we allowed her to get away with it for so long. She had good eatings, not the Pooh. She had good eatings for a long time, just pretending that she knew what she was talking about. One could only have admiration knowing how,

you know, tangentially at least how hard it is to get TV shows commissioned that she was able to literally poke around in other people's actual poo

on telly and it would get aired. Yeah. And... We've got either celebrity now, haven't we? So we don't need to worry about that. Yeah.

I could present myself as a semen expert and just do the cum doctor on Channel 4. I don't think that title needs work. That title does need work.

Come down with me. Yeah. That's completely different. I sip on semen to look how it's come home and then start to work on theirs. Yeah. And what kind of

financial remuneration would you like for this? A lot of money, please. You want percentage points on the product? You want IP? I don't want any pay in there. No. Do you want to be selling merch?

I want to be selling merch. Does anybody need to set up some kind of farm to keep the product? Look, Julia McKeith... For all the problems, isn't it? Julia McKeith's descent to whatever she's doing now, I'll tell you in a minute. She's an anti-vaxxer. to keep the problem look Julia McKees Julia McKees dissent from to where she whatever she's doing now

I'll tell you in a minute she's an anti-vaxxer yeah is she really what a surprise she's demented her TV career going off a cliff can be described

by the following sentence Julia McKees advice was primarily alternative medicine without any scientific basis yeah you're calling yourself a doctor you're going to be

labelled a prat put them on the telly yeah put them on the telly. I remember there was a real gotcha on a I want to say a show that wasn't even her show, where she was saying that she wouldn't advocate the eating of oily fish, because you can

get just as much... Oil from the supermarket. Oil from flax seeds, she was saying. What she had done is she had confused the amount per gram with the actual amount. Right. So, okay, so a flax seed, in terms of percentage of the seed,

is much higher in the oil you need than a slice of fish. Yeah. But then the other guy who was actually sensible on the show worked out how many flax seeds a person would need to eat per day to get the same amount as one fillet of fish. Yeah.

And I'm not joking. It was something like a whole taxi full of flax seeds a person would need to eat per day to get the same amount as one fillet of fish. And I'm not joking. It was something like a whole taxi full of flax seeds. He was like saying, you'll be dead. You'll be dead. And she had no answer. She just carried on poking through her poo and didn't say anything. With the poo thing,

was there ever a situation where someone had a real issue in that there was blood in their poo? I think it was just like shapes, smells, sounds, sights, and it wasn't really actual medical issues, you know what I mean? There's blood in there. Well, she's not a doctor. Is that dark blood? Is that new blood? Who knows?

Well, great Twilight movies by the way, though. Would you think it would make the cut if there was something seriously wrong? Because you know Dr. Christian Jessop who is a doctor seems a little bit odd. Who's that guy?

You know, odd looking fella, waxy face, talks a lot about medical issues on telly but is an actual doctor. He used to do a show I think called

Embarrassing Illnesses. Oh yes, yes, yes. Which to me, to me seems entirely absurd that that even works as a show and I'll tell you why right lots of people don't like going to the doctor anyway right right i went for my nhs health check uh last week um

because i'm over 40 now sadly but them's the facts and um you get tested you get your blood done you get your cholesterol your blood pressure all that good stuff and what the nurse said to me was this is for the silent killers right it's for's for the people who, for the ailments that don't really have any outward symptoms but can really knock you down dead without you knowing about it. So it's really important you come in for this every five years.

And if we need to see you more frequently, we'll tell you. So I did that. It was fine. Some people don't like going to the doctor. The very idea that you have something so embarrassing wrong with you that you don't want to go to the doctor about it,

but yet you'll somehow go on the telly, to me seems strange to say the least, but yet it happens. And yet it happens. Yeah, you're probably right. Did you see that Dr Christian Jessen, he got in trouble because he accused the ex-DUP leader, Northern Ireland First Minister Arlene Foster, that she was having an extramarital affair and he was ordered to pay £125,000 in libel costs.

I hate the phrase. I don't know why he flirted with that side of it. I don't know why he said that. He started to go fund me. So he could go around libeling people? Well, he started to go fund me after he was ordered go around libeling people? Well, he started a GoFundMe after he was ought to pay £125,000 in libel costs to Northern Ireland First Minister

Arlene Foster. And I'm looking at the GoFundMe here and it's he's asking for £15,000 here. Maybe the amount got knocked down, but £15,000 here and £10,000 has been raised. Some of these people... If I was Arlene Foster when that ruling came down, I'd be,000 here and £10,000 has been raised. Some of these people...

If I was Arlene Foster when that ruling came down, I'd be releasing a statement full of puns. Looks to me like the only embarrassing body here is Dr Christian. But he did... Amazing. All these poor people chucking in £20. I'm not being funny

and I'm not going to... I don't know the name of the person obviously they've been on telly and so it's in the public domain anyway but I saw I caught an episode of Embarrassing Bodies when it was on

I believe it was 10 years ago maybe something like that and there was a guy on it whose belly was massive but it had sagged down like that oh so you like took it in your trousers

it was sagged down so much that it that it was generating such warmth that it was cooking his own testicles. And I promise you I'm not making that up. What was it cooking his own testicles? It was just getting a bit warm down there. That's what they said. Cooking his testicles.

It was cooking his testicles. That's the wrong word to use. What would you use? It's just warming them up. That's the wrong word to use. What would you use? It's just warming them up. They're not cooking them. Like your body is your body. It's only 37 degrees or something. No, but the testicles hang outside the body for a reason, right?

They need to stay at a certain temperature. That's why they're involved to be out there. Yeah, but it's not cooking the testicles. It's warming the semen to a point where it's just... And to be honest, you know, if you're the sort of person who has like a big kind of theatre style curtain over the front of your testicles, like, I mean. Big reveal.

Big reveal. It's just enjoyable, isn't it? Safety net. Ta-da. You can sort of pull up the belly and it could be like that other TV show where they show half of you winky. Okay. Have you ever turned that off?

Yeah. That's a weird one. Yeah. That's a really, that's another weird one. Naked attraction. Why is that happening? Why is that happening? Why is that happening? You've always got to have something like that.

It used to be Eurotrash, now it's just horny people being weird. At least Eurotrash didn't take itself too serious. No, that is true. That is true. If you were to turn the story about the man who had the belly over his testicles, how would you have termed it?

He has created his own dance of the seven veils, but instead of seven veils, it is one big belly. Listen, I'm not trying to shame the guy. It's not for me. I'm just saying it was an interesting storyline in that show. And if you're going to talk about naked attraction,

I personally find that absolutely bizarre. I cannot think, and I kind of understand that they, so Pete, here's one for you. Right. Naked attraction, and shows like Road Wars, right? Which one's Road Wars?

It's basically where they've just put a camera on the vest of a police officer. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. And they just show what they're doing. Now, ostensibly, they don't seem like they've got much in common, but they do because what they're doing is they're hiding the fact

that people just want to gawp at stuff behind faux social responsibility. Yes. So they said, oh, no, naked attraction is really important they're doing is they're hiding the fact that people just want to gawp at stuff yeah behind faux social responsibility yes so they said oh no naked attraction is really important because it shows normal bodies on telly yeah and there's nothing to be worried about yeah fine it is that yeah but ultimately it's a fucking side show it's a freak show oh yeah it's like i don't really care about security practices at airports but i will watch hours and hours of the Australian Border Security Services taking herbs off Chinese people. They are very strict. They are very strict.

Extraordinarily strict. I mean, some of the herbs, you sort of go, guys, like every, you're flying into Sydney, they'll have a Chinatown, and a lot of it's just ginger. You can get ginger everywhere, mate. Don't worry about it. Is that a powdered elephant tongue? No, it's not even that.

But it's just like thyme. They're just like bringing normal herbs over the limit. I've seen it. I've seen it a lot. It's bizarre. But the amount that's coming over the border is incredible. And why you never really see someone who's a little bit Australian. Right.

Either. Yeah. There was really Australian. Especially people who work at little bit australian right either yeah no it was really australian especially because they're basically like kind of a version of a not as good police officer yeah um on the road wars thing the way they get away with it is they they it's almost like they're subconsciously saying to you we know you just want to watch a police officer chase a broke with a knife and wrestle him to the ground or Or you want to watch a five-car pile-up. But what they do, the way they get around it,

is they go, check out this idiot driving 150 miles an hour down this residential street and crashing into this parked car and flipping the car 15 times before it explodes and the board afloat. In front of Luke Morris' house. And at the end, they just go, don't forget the speed limits are for a reason. And that's how they get away with it.

That is how they get away with it. That is how they get away with it. Well, I mean, speaking of naked attraction, I mean, it is just a load of people who don't want to show off their bodies, isn't it? It's just a load of people who are exhibitionists. Yeah, when I say it's like a freak show, I don't mean they're freaks. I'm not trying to be rude about that.

I'm just saying it's an extension to Victorian sideshows. Yeah, yeah, but they're also, but the people who are doing it. They're not always ripped or anything, though. No, but you can, I think, you know, that's not exclusive to ripped people who just want to show off.

Exhibitionists, you know, they want to show off. Like the guy, Minneapolis International Airport, last week, 44-year-old man is charged with threatening workers at the St. Paul International Airport. He swung a stanchion line post before throwing it at agents. He took his clothes off and he masturbated. He said that he said it was a free country.

Crucially, it's a free country for other people as well, isn't it? Who shouldn't have to see you masturbating yourself. Shouldn't have to see you masturbating, should it? No. I love the idea of that kind of libertarian underpinning of things that people do. Like, oh yeah, but we shouldn't have people interfering. We should all be free to do whatever we want. The problem with that is that everyone's idea of freedom

in quotes is different. And as soon as it takes one step into the real world, you're impinging on someone else's freedom. So we have to have a compromise. If I'm angry, that's the last thing I'm doing. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. What's the first thing you're doing?

De-robing. You're a bit of a stormer offer. saying. Yeah. What's the first thing you're doing? De-robing. You're a bit of a stormer-offer.

No, I'm arguing my point clearly, concisely. Storm off and then come back 30 seconds

later because I forgot to make one point. I agree with part of that. And then storm off again, come back and

go and another thing. Storm off, come back and another thing. Big Pav once, I'm going to try and find it Big Pav who you'll know

if you're a regular listen to this stuff he once sent a screenshot of a diagram he'd done on a notepad of what I was like in my different moods

right okay and it's called Luke's Mood Scale you can see he did it in June 2020 let's have a list so it goes from obviously one extreme

to the other so I'll start with the positive. So when I'm in the best mood through to when I'm in the worst mood. Best mood starts with self-promotion. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jovial. Jovial, yeah, yeah.

Bantrous, yeah. Chatty. Chatty, yeah, yeah, yeah. Abuse. Yeah, yeah. Then down to anger. Yeah. Then down to I'm done.

I'm done, yeah. And then finally for now, silence. Silence. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. So from self-promotion to silence, I do the whole gamut and I can go up and down. Right, okay.

Yeah. I'll leave you to think about that while we have a break because we've run way over time, I think. Way over time. We'll do a break. When we come back, we'll do a try and squeeze in at least one email, possibly two if we can,

depending on how good it is. We don't check them ahead of time very well. See you in a minute. It's the Logan Pete Show. It's a Monday. And if you would like to get in touch with the show, touch the sky with your words, it's hellologanpetshow.com.

Have you run out of words? I think so. You're starting to run out of words. Although I'm feeling better than I ever am when we used to record because I got up a little bit later. Oh, nice. It's a real bind getting up at like half six

to get into, to do Luke and PJ on one day. Did you accidentally move 100 miles away from the office? Yeah, that's what happened, isn't it? There's something at the back of your mind thinking, there's a reason I shouldn't be doing this. I was early doing the ramble this morning so I have oh baby

I have I was up at seven it spellsy he's got a new donkey jacket he has very disrespectful at the centre taff he got it

yeah do you remember that yeah do you remember when they measured how much Corbyn bowed yeah

at the centre taff and then Boris Jensen turns up in a bin bag and goes fine that's the thing and we will come on to emails

but Marcus has got a new jacket the left and Marcus have to be more circumspect Marcus got it

from a charity shop and it looks fucking brand new he's done brilliant bargain and he's rightly

proud of it this is the thing about the right wing. I know you're as left as they compete, but you have to admit this. They're fucking good, aren't they? They are good. The freedom that they manage to chisel away for themselves. Yeah, hell yeah.

They set the rules of the game. They set the rules of the game to the point where when you actually manage to land a hit on them through Tory sleaze, and that's usually how the Tories leave power because their pockets become too full and their pockets burst and everyone can see what's in there.

They collapse under their own fucking weight. They collapse under their own fucking weight of naughtiness. I'm always astonished. I was like, what? You're getting annoyed about this thing? Of course they are. The thing that most politicians do do. They're setting the rules of the game.

Jobs for the fucking boys. Yeah, they set the rules of the game and it happens here fucking boys. Yeah, they set the rules of the game, and it happens here in the US, and the pinkos, they play the game. And they don't understand. And they say, oh, well, we always lose. Yeah, you always lose. Because you're playing the game.

Because the absolutely malevolent fucking people who will do anything to get ahead have set the rules of the game, and you are playing the game. It's incredible. So it happened in the US. Jeremy Corbyn thinksan is a great point. The American

equivalent is when the tan jacket. So little is happening in the US. The right wing news agencies did a big thing for

days on whether it was presidential to wear a beige suit. Yeah. Yeah. And then Donald Trump.

Incredible. Incredible. Anyway. Anyway. Here we are now. Emails. Hello at the Compete

Show dot com. This is a politics free zone. We just like to have a pop at everyone. Incredible. Anyway. Anyway. Here we are now. Emails, helloatthewcompeteshow.com. This is a politics-free zone. It's a politics-free zone. We just like to have a pop at everyone. Yeah, we're very much, we're both sides, aren't we? We're both sides. Both sides, and that's what some people would say is the problem. Speaking of both sides-ing it, and we will get to this email, I promise you,

talk to me about Milo. Oh, Milo. Very good. Remind people who Milo is, and then tell us what you showed me yesterday. One of the original kind of grifters. Enfant terrible. Enfant terrible. Basically a fucking lying grifter.

Yeah, a lying fascist who is currently on religious TV selling. He got deplatformed. He got taken off Twitter. And people have this argument. If you take them off the platform, they'll just some find some other fucking rock to crawl under and and they'll be even worse than they actually are when they when they're part of the conversation that's not what happened with milo he got thrown off twitter he got thrown off the majors and uh

now he's uh he is having to you know make a make a pot to piss in by selling on religious TV, religious kind of like, what do you call it, QVC? He's selling bronze statues of the Virgin Mary on Christian QVC. It's incredible. Incredible. Is it bad that technically I thought he was quite a good presenter? I thought he was very good as well. Not easy, that.

He's better than any other. He's very, the other horse that was on there, she was less interested in the Mary. But he's sort of come out that was on there she just wasn't she was less interested in the Mary but he's sort of come out as ex-gay now because he's been

converted apparently that's his latest grift his conversion his husband that he married not long ago has been downgraded to housemaid

which I think is funny the fact that people fall for it it's just it's just extraordinary. Anyway, anyway,

that's enough about that. The deep platform thing is interesting though because we, I kind of instinctively, maybe because I'm a human being of a certain age and maybe I need to revisit this

and I think I probably will, I instinctively agree that deep platform is a bad idea. I think you need, you shed as much light as possible on these terrible ideas

and you kind of debunk them. However, It's worked in this case. Yeah, however, I wonder if that's an old fashioned way of looking at it. I wonder if the rules of the game have actually changed

and it also depends on how good that person is. Because if that person's good, you're causing a lot of fucking problems for yourself. Right. Because if they're going to out charisma you

and out argue you and do what, I forget it was, you said it may be Orwell, drag them down to your level and beat you on experience, you're fucked. So maybe... But maybe nowadays their whole plan is to just get as

many fucking maniacs out there and you're just adding fuel to that particular fire, I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Free speech does not extend to free of consequences. Exactly right. Peter, do you want to do an email? I'll do a quick email.

Alex. Hi, Luke and Pete. You never see a bad dryer these days. Chat really struck a chord. I've been thinking about much the same not long ago, about how in my youth hand dryers usually felt like someone meekly farting onto you at best, whereas now the sheer hand-skinning distorting power

has to be felt to be believed. And then I went to York. I came across this beauty in a cafe near York Minster. A real throwback from New Leck Electrical. I pressed the button, rubbed my hands together for a while and then left after 30 seconds, drying them on my trousers. Just like the good old days. I enjoyed the show, by the way.

I've been a listener since Luke and Pete's summer, but for some reason had a lengthy hiatus recently. Then got back into it and have about 100 back episodes to work through. Good times. Cheers, Alex. Just two men forgetting what they've done before.

So you'll probably hear the same themes, the same references over and over again. But I think people find it comforting. You know, sometimes when you're a kid

and you ask your mum or your dad to read you a bedtime story, sometimes you'd want the same story. Oh, I must have watched Robin Hood, the Disney cartoon,

like 15 times. Yeah. In like 15 times. Yeah. In like a month. I read something once about a load of women of a certain age whose first crush was Robin Hood. Was he a fox in that? He was a fox, yeah. A sassy fox, yeah. Apparently that was a real crush for people.

Yeah, that's fair, I think. He's quite feminine, boyish. Yeah. And there's also a big subculture of people who are really into Greg from Succession. Which was Greg? He's like a tall, gangly, people who are really into Greg from Succession. Which was Greg? He's like a tall, gangly, Ichabod Crane. Oh, really? He's particularly stupid, isn't he?

Yeah, I kind of get the impression he's not going to be stupid forever, and that's going to be a twist. Oh, what? He's going to be the king. That's just my theory. He's going to be left when everybody kills, when all of the sharks have eaten each other.

He's going to be the one who's left, the idiot's son, the idiot's cousin or whatever. Yeah, and on the hand drives thing, what I was saying back in the day, which is why I think Alex has emailed in, is that the technology's got better on hand drives, but I think the tactics have also got better. They don't actually dry

your hands now. Just push it off. Yeah, like a windscreen wiper, right? And we had a load of, when we were talking about hand drives, we had a load of people email in saying, never do the hand dryer, always do the paper towels. Hand dryers, because although paper towels are sensibly seen like they are worse for the environment, it actually depends on the following things.

One, whether the paper towel is recycled or not. Yes. And two, how much energy the hand dryer is using. Underpinning all that is the fact that apparently hand dryers are so unhygienic, it's unbelievable. And that you shouldn't go anywhere near them. True.

Yeah, I think that's fair. We've come a long way since that blokey moment about the guy who was rubbing bread on the toilet and eating it. At least we're washing our hands now. Yeah. We're a COVID-compliant podcast, I think it's fair to say. Let's get out of here on that note. Thank you very much for emailing in. You can also do so

by emailing hello at lukeandpeachow.com we will read out our favourite emails and you're never going to be able to predict

which ones we're going to read out because our taste is very catholic very broad hello at lukeandpeachow.com

as I've said at lukeandpeachow is the social media social media destination we'll be back on Thursday for another one of these we're bloody looking forward to it

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We really appreciate it. You will be a friend of The Luke and Pete Show forever. Thank you very much, Pete Donaldson. Ta-da! Farewell. And we'll see you on Thursday. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.