The Luke and Pete Show - Captain Podcastin'

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

After an extensive stroll, Luke decides to wear a sailor's hat to the show record, while Pete's opted for a cracking diving helmet. Just the thing to defend himself against some well deserved barbs from you lovely lot. Up yours, woke moralists! Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

lovely old job oh luke you oh good it's a little picture i'm pete donaldson but it's the almost the hottest day of the year uh and you're listening to two hot boys talk about some seriously hot topics. And Luke, I think, has been to Hot Topic, the American kinky golf star for hipsters, and he's wearing what could only be described as a Popeye the Sailor man hat. Captain's hat, yeah.

I got it when I went to the Norfolk Broads for one of these when I'm on the old when I'm on the steering wheel. Did you actually? You look like the late 90s Khazar Napster Ponstar

Captain Stabbing. You look like that man. I've no idea who that is. When you just said those random words one after the other, I had no idea where you were going. Just a horrible, in the late 90s and the early 90s, where people would just download random little clips of pornography. And I don't hate to start the show like this. This is how I always start the show.

Start it worse before, yeah. Exactly. We're not talking about fishers in bums or anything. Well, you just are. Well, Captain Stabin. I'm sure he's fished a few in his time. But he is... I don't really know what his vibe was. I'm sure he's fishing a few in his time. But he is... I don't really know

what his vibe was. I don't really know what his thing... He always seemed to be on a boat and it's a disgusting name to have. But you look like that man.

A man of advancing years who runs some kind of pornographic enterprise that I remember from the 90s. Awful. Awful stuff. Yeah, I don't do that.

No. But it's a good I don't do that. No. But it's a good captain's hat. Solid. Solid. It cost me like a pound, I think, off of the internet. You got it off the internet. It fits my head perfectly. Normally you can't buy hats that fit me,

but this fits my head perfectly. So you did buy it for a time away. You did buy it for a time away. Yeah, I told you. I bought it for one of the Nor did buy it for a time away yeah I told you I bought it for a while when we went on the Norfolk Broads was that allowed, your partner that you have access to shat me with that was she

I don't think she particularly likes me wearing it around the house I think she thinks it looks ridiculous but I've only just popped it on for the show but can I just say to our listeners I mean as Pete you've already referenced it's very hot today and I'm recording from home because you've been on holiday so we had to record today.

This is the day before, so this is Sunday. Well, we were recording last week, weren't we? But you'd neglected to charge your MacBook which meant our recording time was a little later. So this recording...

That's not how I remember it. Anyway, the point being that the window's open because it's so hot so if people can hear, I don't know, people walking past outside or the occasional noisy motorbike going past i apologize for that i understand sound quality and podcast is important yeah but also i don't want to you know overheat so you need to bear that in mind i'm a man of a certain age

of a certain bmi you need to bear that in mind i I'm surprised you've got any I left, or B. No, M. I picked two of them that were incorrect, and then the third one. I'm surprised you've got any maths left, because you went on a fucking great big walk yesterday. Oh, yeah. I want to hear about your car boot sale social on this morning, because you were up with the sparrows.

You were up at the crack of a sparrow's fart, as my mate's dad used to say. But before we do that, yeah, I went on a big walk yesterday um it's a friend of mine's birthday and he's got a um and me and a few of my friends like to do little celebrations for each other yeah for birthdays but he's got a heavily pregnant wife at the moment so he can't really go far or do much so we had to keep it refined to within one day in london right and so we went for a big long walk around mostly central London and west London visiting a load of different musical landmarks that the guys had researched themselves.

So actually, weirdly enough, I know west London seems a bit of a kind of cultural desert these days. It's not really fashionable. It's full of posh people. More on that later. Because we've got an email about you peter anyway um back in the day it's incredible how central and how west like big musicians were residing were doing their

thing and it was kind of doable right so for them back in the 60s say back in the 60s and 70s because london was such a different place so for example um there was um a band called have you heard of a band called the walker brothers i think i may have put them on a are they sort of recent band so massive in the 60s and they were like a really big kind of like i don't know like um they were kind of they were so so basically in the 60s, when all these British bands came over to the US, the British Invasion, they were like a US pop band that went the other way and became quite big in Britain for a bit. Anyway, Scott Walker went on to do some other stuff. That's not the point.

Oh, yes. I know Scott Walker. That's right. Yeah. Okay. So the point is, they came across to London. They were from California, I think. So they had no idea what London was all about.

This is just an example I'm giving to the listeners as to why it's interesting, I think. And it's just like, I don't know what year it was. I'm going to guess probably late 60s. All of them get sent over by the record label to stay in London. They sort out their digs and stuff. They're all staying in a two a split level um um apartment in onslow gardens which

is now oligarchs row in chelsea and it was five pounds a month at the time according to the report it was five pounds a month and we went there to see what it was like it was absolutely ridiculous like jimmy hendry used to live on hanover street which is right i think off of um bond street you know there's loads so that so we walked around central west on anyway it was obviously hellishly hot yesterday as well but i managed to rack up 43 000 steps right okay that's my feet are in pieces this morning that seems like a lot and you're a you're a walker you're a runner you're a um you know a street beater so to speak i can move when i have to you move when you have to and uh that isn't that seems like an astonishing amount of steps what like what are we talking like calorie wise what does that kind of see you so i think i burn

in total across the day yesterday according to the old garmin which i would recommend i know some people always say all other stuff's available that i'd recommend the garmin the garmin the garmin vivo active is a great bit of kit that's what use. It told me over the course of the day yesterday, all in from midnight to midnight, I think I ended up burning 5,200 calories or something. That's wild. Absolutely wild. Yeah, so double what would be the normal probably.

So when you sort of look at how many calories you burn every day and if you are eating less than that, that means you're losing weight presumably. Correct. So calorie deficit is essentially the only way you lose weight so all these different diets and all these different things you do it just comes down to whether you're drinking the vinegar yeah get the apple cider vinegar down you make that that's the only that's the only cheat that that that really world leading expert

nutritionists know of the only treat is a shot of apple cider vinegar a couple times a day are you are you you sound a bit down, Luke. Did you have a tipple last night? I had a couple of drinks. I'm not down. I'm not down. I'm just really tired. I'm really actually quite hot. But I'm fine. Look, if you want me to bring energy, I will.

Tell me about the car boot sale. Tell me about the diving helmet. Because this is what people want to know about. You look like a sad Popeye. That's all. I'm getting the vibe you're wearing a sailor's hat and you just sound a bit down like you've like you've lost some of your passengers or something like yeah you know you're still on deck i can imagine popeye's a very irresponsible sea captain i'll be totally honest he's always going off getting sidetracked yeah i mean i don't think to be honest if i'm getting if i'm getting ready for a voyage on a boat if i find

out the captain's got a nemesis i probably don't want to get on the boat because i'm gonna get i'm gonna get kind of drawn into it i'm gonna get drawn into this yeah he's gonna when you're at sea you know the only friends you've got are the people on deck and and if you're your main captain guy is is you know he's trying to fend off the attentions of blueuto. Who else has he got as an ally? A woman with literal paws for arms, a baby, and a man who wants to eat hamburgers all day. Unbelievable. And I'm involved in this.

Oh, what? The quite big, fat, pasty, like, shit version of Jack Black. I'm definitely dying. I'm definitely dying there. I'll probably be the first one to go. So I'm not going anywhere near Popeye. Yeah, all right. Never mind.

Tell me about your car boot sale. Car boot sale. Got up'm not going anywhere near Popeye. Yeah, alright, never mind. Tell me about your car boot sale. Car boot sale, got up, did what I did last time, went to the Dunton car boot sale, big fucking city, it's

like Glastonbury. I sent you a video, it's massive, absolutely massive it is. But you know Glastonbury, I found out the other day

it's got a hundred stages. That's ridiculous. It must be counting anything as a stage though, shoot. It's also, it becomes the fourth biggest conurbation in the West Country

every time it's on, apparently. Anyway, carry on. I see. How many people, because I'm just wondering, you are prone to hyperbole on this, how many cars were actually there in your estimation? You know I can't count. Basically, there was big long rows of car booty stuff,

and the rows went on for ages, but there were about 30 rows all in all in it's massive fucking field absolutely huge was it better than glastonbury for me yes uh because nobody's selling old imax at glastonbury are they no it's true actually i went over i went over listening to i promised myself i said you know i haven't listened to for ages you're the sort of person who goes back and retrospectively listens to classic albums. This isn't a classic album, but you know, comparatively, I guess people Yeah, exactly. My first band I ever

watched live, Manson's Attack of the Grey Lantern. Oh yeah, people love that record. They do love that record and I read some and savoury things about that band recently that I won't really go into because I can't remember them to be honest and that is how you should approach these stories. No, it's not a libel reason guys it's just pete can't remember i'd stick two

feet on them if i could i can't remember a bloody thing um or if there were no unsavory things i'm sure it's fine but let's face it most bands i think in this day and age are probably fucking shitting themselves about the things they've done um in the past um the uh i listened to tagra latin on the wind and i was um surprised how fucking pedestrian it all was i was really surprised how very off the peg so is it quite one note it just sounded like when i sort of said it just sounded a bit stone rosy it just sounded a bit kind of like if landfill indie existed back in the 90s landfill brit pop it sounded a bit like that and all that interested me in them is that they wore a bit of eyeliner and they extended their songs out to seven minutes which really

did not need to happen so yeah i i was i was a big fan of manson uh and continued to be so throughout the 90s uh but listening back to that i was i was very surprised at how so how the sort of music i wouldn't usually listen to i'm like yeah i don't like this as much so i i've i kind of i don't know the record that well i haven't listened to it for a long time i remember there's some there's a big songs off it i know it came out around 96 probably 96 97 tax loss wide open space stripper vicar and then Stripper Vicar. And then I think on the next one, Being a Girl was very good. Yeah. So Wide Open Space was the big single. Tax Loss was a single where they went and did that famous video

in Liverpool Street Station, wasn't it? Yeah. And yeah, so I kind of remember a bit about them. Look, what I find about that whole Britpop era is there are, the bands that have aged well are probably the ones you don't necessarily expect. So for me, and this is just a personal opinion, obviously, I'm not a music critic or whatever,

but for me, the ones that have aged the best, the standout ones are Supergrass. They've aged really well. Their music still sounds really good. Super Furry Animals, their stuff sounds amazing still. And wouldn't really class this as Britpop, but everyone was obsessed with them in the Britpop era. Beta Band, their stuff sounds amazing now.

To me, Beta Band are one of the best British bands ever. The other stuff, a lot of it is very kind of pedestrian, as you say. And a great example of that would be a bit later on, just around 2001. I feel that there's a really key kind of crossover movement in um in music in i suppose in britain but in the us as well but contextually it's in britain 2001 in february at the astoria um strokes play their very first london gigs their first on that tour their first uk gig is at the wedger rooms in portsmouth but the first london gigs the Astoria on the bill are also

My Vitriol and you will know us by the Trailer Dead who are headlining My Vitriol I know you're a big fan of Trailer Dead I think My Vitriol

are the really key cornerstone of the point I'm trying to make here which is that My Vitriol were massively courted they got a massive record deal for a huge amount of money they made a record

called Fine Lines with Always Your Way as the lead single it's quite good stuff but then what happened was they were just a victim of circumstance the strokes put this record out which completely changed music everyone decided that they actually now loved something that was completely different and that set the the benchmark for the rest of what followed and my virtual was left behind yeah and it's through no fault of their own so i think sometimes different styles of music could just go out of fashion instantly because people get obsessed with something.

And that's what happened with the Strokes. So maybe it's not Manson's fault is what I'm saying. Yeah. I mean, it's certainly my vitriol's fault for having such a handsome lead singer. I don't think you can really tell. He was really, he was and is a beautiful man. Unbelievably good looking.

Just too distracting, I think. But I just... Yeah, I think... Sorry, Ricky, go on. No, you go on. Fuck it, you started it. All right, all right. Well, I was just saying that, like,

I was just saying that where Manson would wear eyeliner, I criticise people like Youngblood, you know, the popular man. Yeah, but he's just the world's most thick, boring bloke. Do you know what I mean? That's the problem with him. He's not interesting, is he? It's really so most thick, boring bloke. That's the problem with him. He's not interesting, is he? It's really so surface level, it's unbelievable.

That's why I think I was sucked in with Manson, though. Was Manson my 1998's Youngblood? I don't know. I just don't know, Luke. I think that's harsh. Okay, all right. I also think that Manson, all of them looked exactly like delays, and delays were obviously later, and for me, a lot better.

But that's a different argument anyway how was the car how was the car boot sale the car the car boot sale was uh excellent i uh i got i did my usual thing where i got way too excited uh i'd walk up way too early like you know quarter to six because i was just so excited about going the car boot i'd had about five hours sleep uh and then i drove over i had a cup of coffee, felt a bit sick and overwhelmed halfway through and then managed to sort of rally, had a burger. What a morning. And a weird bit of sunburn at like nine o'clock in the morning.

I've got a bit of sunburn already and it's not even nine o'clock. And I bought a massive fucking diving helmet and an old telly from Russia. Right, good. I think the diving helmet was 35 and the telly, oh my God, I actually looked on eBay. I saw the little model number. I was like, I'll type that in to eBay. And obviously this version was boxed on eBay. The thing on eBay was like 85, 90 quid.

He wanted it. And this guy sold it to me for five qu on ebay was like 85 90 quid he wanted it uh and this guy sold it to me for five quid i was like yes a bargain bargain hunt with doddleson at seven o'clock in the morning wonderful but you're red instead of brown like davy dickinson but peter the thing i think that our listeners will share this situation share this kind of opinion yeah so i like for me it's a great fit for your personal brand that you go to car boot sales i think that works i think what the problem is is that you are clearly someone who is not at all comfortable with haggling over prices so how do you overcome that oh by paying over the odds uh every time yeah stupid what are you doing that for i just i love car boots but i am ill at ease

with talking to the big boys who have tattoos. The bigger boys, yeah. You've got tattoos, though. Get them out. Yeah, but bigger boys have got bigger messages on their tattoos. Bigger metaphors, messages, a lot of eagles, a lot of stuff. Mum and dad. A lot of mum and dad, yeah.

A lot of drawings of pitbulls and stuff yeah bigger boys yeah so the bigger boys mean that you won't say do you mind taking a couple of quid less

for this even though because I know British people don't like haggling I'm not that person but British people don't like haggling but the one place

you can do it in Britain is there yes yeah yeah they expect it they encourage it uh and yeah i don't give them the satisfaction of the they probably get a lot out of having a little bit of a squabble over some cash don't they they probably like they prefer the money so they're very happy to see you mate i don't give them what they want you do you give them fucking double what they want

danny warbucks is here uh so yeah no look as as trips go I also bought some t-shirts because I have become a fathering hedge I think it's just I am very much buying t-shirts in bulk

at the car boot beautiful it's great stuff it's a fantastic way to spend a Sunday morning and the thing about it is now we're recording this

as early as feasible because of the weather, but you've already, I feel like you've probably packed quite a lot into the day. Was it actually really warm at six this morning as well? Yeah, it was insanely warm. It was absolutely insane. That's crazy, isn't it?

I was going to go and clean. There's a garage near my house, and this is very domestic and very boring, but I hope you enjoy the image of it. I think that shit might have already saved. Rewind T-shirts. With Popeye as captain. enjoy the image. I think that shit might have already

said it. Rewind T-shirts. With Popeye as captain. Sort of at the garage around the corner, they've got this machine where

it's basically a pressure washer, a big box and you can do your own car wash and I don't like other people washing my car. I find that very, I

feel like I'm being weighted on and it's kind of like. Psychologically a very interesting man you are. The profile of you psychologically is so

interesting. Carry on. Yeah, it's kind of like... Psychologically, a very interesting man you are. The profile of you psychologically is so interesting. Carry on. Yeah, it's... Yeah, it's a... Yeah, it's a... Yeah, it's weird. But that's... What's wrong with that?

So I like to claim my own car with this pressure washer. But this massive sinkhole... This massive sinkhole's opened up underneath the bit where the pressure washer is. Imagine if I'd driven into that with my little Fiat. Unbelievable. Tell us more about that. It's just a big fucking hole, Luke.

And they've like... How big? Imagine if I'd driven into that with my little Fiat. Unbelievable. Tell us more about that. It's just a big fucking hole, Luke. How big? Literally as big as the pressure washer kind of little... Are they doing anything about it? What's going on? Yeah, well, there's part... I don't know. How do you sort of fix a sinkhole? I don't know.

I just throw a load of sand down there, I guess. But, yeah, shocking. I don't think that's how you fix it. I think you fix it by throwing a bit of sand down there, Luke. Right, who's got some sand? Get it down there, mate. How can you possibly think this is not an interesting conversation? It's a sinkhole.

You've seen a sinkhole. Yeah, but it wasn't like a massive sinkhole that takes down a house. It was just a little sinkhole where something is sinked into a hole. I know, I know. Wow, it's just stunning stuff. Listen, let's have a quick break when we come back we're going to continue

this conversation so bear with us one second we'll be back in just a little bit after this hello it's the Luke and Pete show

I'm Pete Donaldson joined by Luke Moore hope you enjoyed those advert tutorials Lukey Moore what do you want to talk about in the second half I know we've got emails

and stuff would you want to have a little chat about this I like the idea of just dropping an email dropping an advert in there in the middle of the conversation, seeing if a listener's noticed.

But I actually think our responsibility is ultimately to our advertisers. So they would appreciate that because they'll get more people listening to the ads because the people listening won't know the ads because I've just pulled it out of the bag and chucked it in there as quickly as possible. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah, fair, fair, fair. So our numbers are going to be better because of that. Our numbers are going to be better, yeah. Do you reckon?

Yeah. I think the advertisers, that's definitely what they want, chat about pressure washers and car boots. I mean, I think the ABC1 demographic are just going to be absolutely champing and champing, champing, champing at the bit to grab a slice of that hot chat pie. I think the Luke and Pete show does well commercially because we can talk with absolutely no authority on every subject.

Everything, yeah, exactly. Speaking of that, you know people got the arsehole about two months ago because that Piers Morgan advert, which we have no control over, by the way, but as I said at the time yeah look at it this way pierce morgan whoever runs his business runs his stuff has given us money that we can then reinvest into our company to make great podcasts while also slagging off pierce morgan it's great like it works well it's very subversive i think technically we can opt out but if we're not told what's happening we can't really opt out and i I don't think Piers Morgan has really got to that.

I don't want to opt out. I don't care. I want to opt out of, you know, some stuff, but I don't want to opt out of the fact that Piers Morgan is just a fucking knob. It's not a principle to live your life by, is it? No. If you don't like it, don't listen to it. He's a dickhead.

I'm happy to say that on the show he's a knob. Don't listen to it. But what I do want you to do is I want you to listen to what I'm about to say about him because the run-up to this conversation was that but the whole point was going to be did you see him standing holding a pig talking on the telly i did what was what was that about exactly so what was that about then i think so i'm going to put myself in the mind of the production meeting i've been in many production meetings as i'm sure you have for different reasons i think what they've gone for because his intro was about the fact that boris johnson is a greased piglet and keeps getting out of situations and so the intro he did a load of puns is he going to save his bacon blah blah blah but i think what he's under sort of misunderstood

is that that's not a well-known enough phrase no i agree i completely people don't really say that particularly these days oh i've never heard in casual conversations someone say to me oh how'd so-and-so get on and they got out of it and i said oh yeah like he's like a greased piglet it doesn't happen so he's overestimate he's over egged a pudding yeah no one really knows what the pudding is anyway and so as a result he's just standing on telly um holding a little piglet blessed a little piglet by the way the only saving grace of course is what pete uh what do you mean uh he gets to eat that pig at the end of the day i don't know what no no one's watching his show is that doesn't matter yeah i mean i mean it speaks to our advert

you got a lot more you got a lot more listen trust me i know this you get a lot more, listen, trust me, I know this, you get a lot more freedom to execute your ideas when there's no audience. Certainly, yeah. Do you reckon he did it on purpose to go viral, do you think, for precisely this reason now? Do you reckon he's thrashing around in the mud, so to speak, like a pig? Just trying to sort of, yeah, maybe he's trying to find angles to get a bit of, anything kind of absurd gets you clicks,

I suppose, these days. And half the time, and half the stupid and ridiculous things that happen on UK television are designed in this way. And I'm fairly certain there'll be one person who works on the show who writes these kind of,

orchestrates these little kind of happenstances and that's how they go viral and that's how you get noise and that's how you become characters and that's how you ultimately make money so i yeah we are constantly being played uh and it's it's very sad bring back guy gorma oh yeah that was that was that doesn't that feel like a really like um yeah quaint time now it feels like the 50s yeah but on that on that note there about generating kind of controversy for the sake of it and i might be in the minority here but i certainly think in podcasting um

that doesn't really work and nor should it work and i have i have conversations all the time i was at an agency talking to them about some of their clients perhaps doing some new shows last week and um they were talking about different ways of marketing and doing all this kind of stuff you're talking about but not in such a kind of egregious way and i was of the opinion then and i'm on the of the opinion now you've got to get the show right because people you you're not gonna people aren't gonna stick around for more than like 10 minutes if it's not good yeah no matter how they're funneled into it i hear a lot of like adverts for for shows where it's like hello person

i wouldn't necessarily have heard of but probably presumably has a bit of profile um please like well just you know not even any kind of background music just sounds like they've been recorded on their phone hello there this is so-and-so so um i'm gonna do uh a show about um something uh and and i'm to be talking to some great guests and it's like it's the same idea isn't it

over and over again it's just I'm going to talk to some great guests and after 10 episodes we're really going to gas out my friends and my black book

and we're going to have to stress out finding you know whoever's on the fucking promo trail and no one's really creating anything and then the show

will just stop and you know it's the end of the season and it won't happen again. So it's the same idea over and over again. And we're obviously trying to find new ways of doing podcasts because that's our bread and butter.

That's our business. And we've obviously kind of thought, well, these kind of basic ideas don't really work anymore, I don't think. We have to be sort of a bit more creative. But good God, they're just keep keeping on going aren't they and i think we've been we've been in podcast for so long i've been 2007 you've been since 2005 so we i think i think you won't like me saying this peter so just forgive me we are able to speak with a little

bit of authority on it because we've been doing it for so long because we've got so many episodes under our belt and it is a bit different for us i think because we're not known outside of well i'm certainly not known outside of this space i suppose but but the point i was going to make i wanted to say that preamble so it doesn't come across as hypocritical because i genuinely do think it's different i feel like there must be some kind of cabal somewhere contained of like 15 comedians and their agents and they just rotate like i'm not i don't know the guy personally um yeah i'm sure he's nice i've never met him have i met him i don't think i have i don't know him anyway but like i just don't understand how anyone other than a really cynical attempt just to blatantly make money because there's some kind of launch sponsor

involved um someone like Josh Whitacombe he released another podcast series about two weeks ago he's only done about four and every single one of them is him

and one other comedian talking about something in the same way and here's what I would say and I listen to them because it's part of my job and I think

this is so unimaginative and so lazy and I spoke to someone who I'm not going to name who's got a really big profile in broadcasting I've known for so lazy. And I spoke to someone who I'm not going to name, who's got a really big profile in broadcasting, I've known for a long time. And I said to them, what's the deal here?

I was having lunch with them. I said, what's the deal here? What do you think about this? Is it me just being a cynical old prick? Or, you know, what's going on? And they said to me, well, obviously it's shit. And I said, well, why? And they said, well, because look at how much work they're doing.

They've got no time to put any effort into all the different things because they're doing so many things it's almost a bit like a touring juggle act juggling act yeah they go to a different place they do the juggling everyone goes oh that's good he's good at juggling he has some money they go to the next place there's no thought into the act it's the same thing over and over again with no time put into it but for some reason and i'm not bitter about this because we do very well and we're very very happy doing what we're doing but i think the public deserve better but for some reason the public don't think they deserve better and the shows are already popular so it's kind of an interesting phenomenon i think it was kind of like the same kind of it's like that um uh you sort of see the same off the curb avalon

acts just kind of like doing in the round. And it was a show advertised. Who's that? I forget her name. American stand-up blonde. Katherine Ryan. Katherine Ryan is doing a TV show where, good God, the advert was, you know, watch my new show where,

if you've ever wanted to go backstage at a comedy gig, I was thinking, fuck off! Fuck off, do I want to do that? It's fucking miserable. Tragic, yeah. A load of fucking blokes backstage complaining with, you know, a couple of women chucked in there as well. The other comedians are doing better than this.

Yeah, it's just, good God. And maybe it's changed a little bit because there's a bit more work to go around. But goodness me, you know, the rare occasion that I've sort of been up to Edinburgh and sort of hung out with kids, all they fucking do is whine about the fucking job that they've chosen to do.

Can I just say, in Catherine's defence, Peter, that I believe she's Canadian, not American. Sorry, apologies. Was that all you had to say about me slating the concept, the design? I agree with everything else you've said. But I think she deserves to be to have her nationality. But again, you're right, though.

These people are just spread too thin. It's why, like, everyone's breakout tour is amazing when it comes to introducing themselves to the populace. And then, like, the next year, they don't really have a show because they've not had time to fucking write. And all of our experiences have been, you know, backstage at Mock the Week. They've not had a to fucking write. And all of our experiences have been, you know, backstage at Mock the Week. They've not had a chance to have a domestic life,

to talk about anything that's going to be in any way applicable to anyone's life. Look, you and I did a show. We chatted because we're pals, and that's just how it's been. That's how it's evolved organically, and it's been going for five years or whatever. I think it's different.

I mean, people may say it's hypocritical, and it's not different. I think it is. And I also think Stack hypocritical and it's not different I think it is and I also think Stack are pushing podcasting boundaries in a big way like Boom and Jackie and Eureka they're all really great imaginative interesting shows and there's plenty that you do as well which I'm sure

you would chuck into the ring as well. For me from a point of view as someone who really likes the industry I just think it's lazy I think it's detrimental. I think if you're just going to use it as a vehicle to do a comedy routine that's exactly the same every week and put a mic in front of you in front of a computer

rather than in front of an audience, I think it's a shame. I think it kind of limits the industry. I also think that... And that's Captain Stabin saying that. That's me saying that with the captain's hat on i'm the podcast captain for the day um uh also i'm really tired so i'm a bit grouchy so i'm learning about stuff but is you just to touch on what you said it's an extension of the comedy industry isn't it because stand-up comedy basically if you want to be a stand-up

comedian now and you can't get a big break you're probably not good enough because there's so many opportunities right that didn't exist before. Yeah, but it's very crowded as well. You know, the opportunities go up, but then the people having a crack at it go up as well. I don't know. It's difficult. That's a fair point. But you know what I mean? Comedy's a massive phenomenon in the way that it never

used to be. A certain kind of comedy is. I mean, nobody spends any money on sketch or scripted really anymore. No, exactly. That's the point. It's just kind of cheap Dave shows mean nobody spends any money on sketch or scripted really anymore it's just kind of cheap cheap dave shows isn't it exactly but you know what there's a good another good example i'll give you which is i think is related it's like take taskmaster for example yeah taskmaster is a really good idea for a show right there's loads of good series of it i like it i think it's nowhere near as good as it could be. And the reason for that is they will only put comedians on it. Yeah.

So comedians who only really, I mean, they're notorious for only really caring about themselves, right? It's all about them. They're up on stage. You're a very anti-comedian. It's true. Most of them, yeah. But some of them hate themselves more than they like themselves. So it's fine.

I think all of them. That's the case but but but taskmaster would be amazing if you had a broader kind of um pull that i think for example and he's not going to thank me for saying this and i've never had a conversation with him about it i think rick edwards would be brilliant on taskmaster because he's clever and he's he's naturally very charismatic and he would solve the task in like a completely different way it'd be really interesting whereas they were only use comedians and it's no coincidence the best people who have ever been on Taskmaster

are people who are genuinely eccentric like Nish Kumar, Bob Mortimer, Sally Phillips, those types. They're the best people. So, I don't know. Anyway, who cares? But it's mad. I think it's a lazy... I also get really pissed off when people get pissed

before they do podcast recordings. I feel that's so disrespectful to the industry but that's probably just me yeah we've canned a few episodes not of this not of us

but outside people I've canned a couple of episodes we're not doing this can't be drunk is not funny I think I think I've seen people

I'm not going to name them I've seen people who will stand up on a stage at an event or a conference talking about how it's now time for podcasting to be taken seriously and considered alongside like your netflix and all your modern new media kind of platforms and also get pissed doing their podcast recordings yeah do you think people turn up for a day fucking shooting pissed not oliver reed you know back in the day it was different but generally speaking

young people don't drink anyway anyway before we Rory's not here again so we're going to run out of time but I just want to

squeeze a quick email in Pete if you don't mind is it the one I haven't got on me yeah it is yeah of course it is I mean we've got so many

how many emails you got we've got 12 pages of emails and you pick out the one that's having a pop. What's your point? Yeah, I don't have one really. That's kind of about MO, isn't it? I'm not letting the listenership down.

No, you're right, you're right, you're right. Excuse me. Hi, Luke and Pete. I hope you're both well. Well, we'll see if you hope that. Based on the content of the email. I just have a bit to say about Pete's comments on a recent episode.

Pete obviously has some sort of complex about class you should never assume or judge grow up pete for god's sake don't make any sweeping generalizations about what you don't know i come from a very long line of aristocratic somewhat inbred going back centuries to the heian period of japan uh families but i've never felt privileged or entitled and that's all down to my upbringing yes i know many people in my social circles who are twats but what can you do there are twats everywhere whether you are upper class or working class darling just let it go i like you regardless kind regards etsy not the online shop yeah all right it's a posh one having a go at you start the class war you get to the barricades quickly a big posh sod with plums in your mouth and plums are mutated and they've got beaks um

so the one reason i want to do this email is because it makes you feel really awkward so just do this bit and afterwards i'll make a point all right okay. I will certainly say things on the podcast that have embellished how I actually feel, or it's actually how my gut is feeling, but I possibly shouldn't say these things out loud. Bottle job. In summary, good on you. Thanks for listening. I have clearly got a chip on my shoulder.

I've spoke about it before. I don't personally think, as a white, now middle-class man, I've been seriously passed over for anything that would upset me for not having. So I don't need to worry about that. But I think there are certain things we need to think about. Certainly in my corner of the world, which is media, people with a certain amount of money

get on where people with no money don't get on. This is going brilliantly for me. Carry on. This is exactly what I wanted. I'm going to put my fucking helmet on. What do you want? I don't know.

Like, look, you have such an ordered mind than me. You know, and the listeners know, that I am an emotionally led person who will say things know and the listeners know just pointing to my captain's hat i am uh an emotional an emotion uh led emotionally led person who will say things they don't necessarily mean or they haven't really thought about but in their soul they probably feel uh more strongly than anything um but they but they can't really sort of uh let me step in here no etsy listen you presume we like listening

to this show a big part of listening to this show is putting up with me you get some you get some great stuff out of pete right you can't if you don't if you don't want the rough you can't have the smooth exactly okay sometimes the the or the the absolutely ridiculous crosshairs of chaos that pete fires out from randomly every week, twice, for twice every week, will occasionally fix themselves on you, right? You can't complain about it. You just got to... Listen, it's not about avoiding the Pete thunderstorms.

It's about learning to dance in Pete's pissy rain. We all get it. We all get it. But I do think, on a slightly more serious note, the central tenet of Etsy's email is, you know... Don't be prejudiced. There are twats everywhere. Yes, that is true.

You should. You have a responsibility while you should, I think, pursue a general philosophy that everyone should be treated equally, everyone should be egalitarian as much as possible, wherever they're from, whatever their background, and we should dismantle this ridiculous class thing that goes on in britain still now which we pete and i both would have been a victim of um but some twats can't pay the rent yeah it was just speaking about class but on the other hand you have a responsibility in a personal level to take people as you find

them she's absolutely right you know i've got plenty of mates um some of my closest friends are from very very well to do upper middle class upper class backgrounds and I've got plenty of mates. Some of my closest friends are from very, very well-to-do, upper-middle class, upper-class backgrounds. And you've got to take them as you find them. That's it. And I hate them. I hate them anyway. Like, Pete's really close with Boris Johnson, for example.

Exactly, yeah. We get on. They get on fine. There's actually, there's ITV4 doing a, Pete and Boris are doing a Canal Journeys show on ITV4. We are, yeah. It's so cheap to make. Boris, you've messed up the lock again.

I can't believe it. I'm so sorry. I've pushed the dog in the water. I'm so sorry. Oh, Boris, we're never going to make it to Hereford on time now because we've got to take the dog to the vet because you drowned it. I'm spilt out as a flower cord. You'll hold down by yourself.

Boris, stop looking at that woman. It's not a woman. It's a mermaid. Boris, get out of the water, mate. Boris! Stop galloping through that flower-lined meadow after those women. They don't want to talk to you. Anyway, so, Etsy, we really appreciate your email.

Thank you, Etsy. I enjoyed reading it. Yeah, I enjoyed bubbling throat. It did make me uncomfortable, but I stand by pretty much everything I say. I am uncompromising at the end. Yay. Pete, I reckon you're one of the only people I know who claims consistently to stand by everything you say. Yeah.

But also claims in the next breath to consistently never remember what they say. That's fair. So it's basically like you said, I'm sure it's probably fine. Yeah. Shall we leave the final word of the show to this gentleman? Up yours, woke moralists. We'll see who cancels who. Oi, that is chilly.

That is absolutely chilly. Shout out to Jordan for not crying, though. Yeah, it was four and a half seconds in which John Peterson didn't have a cry because he was eating too much meat. I loved it when he gets it and she goes through him, are you still doing your all-beef diet? And he goes, yes. She goes, what's it like?

And he just looks at her in the eye and goes, I wouldn't recommend it. What are you doing it then? What are you doing it? Yeah. That clip has become a bit of a meme remixed at will to everything, into everything. Because I don't know why he did,

it was in the middle of some kind of anti-trans rant or some fucking nonsense that fascist fucking says, but he's just looking down the camera, like delivering it in the same way that Tim Curry delivers a line in Command and Conquer Red Alert back in the day about going into spice. It just looks like you're playing a strategy game

and a little man's popped up and he said this. Up yours, woke moralists. We'll see who cancels who. It's only the end of the level in an RTS where you've just failed. Or would even. Why is it the people who most want culture slash race slash kind of social war via the internet are consistently the people who most look like they will die in the first battle? Jordan Peterson, he looks like you can snap him like a twig.

He's dead straight away. Alex Jones, the crazy guy in the US, he'll have a heart attack in five seconds. Yeah, fair, fair. That Tom Harwood guy would literally just be screaming, not the face, not the face, not the face. Darren Grimes would fall over in five seconds. You know what he'd be up to, mate. What are you doing behind that tree, Grimesy?

Grimesy would be having a lovely old time, a proper danger wank. It's a mad world in which we live, and hopefully luke and peach can provide a bit of respite from that for just laughing at it yeah get yourself back to your car boot cell i'm gonna go myself back to bed because i am absolutely knackered my calves and feet are in pieces after that 42 000 stepper yesterday oh you're up at six o'clock driving your car boot in dunton don't make so much talk to me when that's the case yeah i i exercised so

much yesterday that thing which people listening will probably recognise, where your body is, like, burning still. You can't calm it down. Oh, what is that about? You sort of, like, you just fit... Your legs are just popping off. Yeah, so I had to watch an episode and a half of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares before I could get to sleep.

So, Pete, what we should also say to the listeners is that Rory's not here you're ready so you're ready and i'm going to do a synopsis so if there's any mistakes okay then it's not rory's fault it's our fault it's not did you nearly burp the word rory there just in my um my hat all right and then one of my hairs got caught in the hat and it was yeah that was that's the sound of me in pain but the show must go on darling lovely smashing stuff well I've got a holy

triforce of horrible stories that happened while I was away in Cornwall to give you on Thursday's show so we'll see you then for more Luke and Pete show if you want to get to the show in the meantime and have a go at me for being a little classist twat hello at lukeandpeteshow.com is the way to do that.

Ta-ta! See you later. Up yours, world of moralists. the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network