The Luke and Pete Show - Climb aboard the Lukey Moore

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Luke urges Pete to kill the stowaways he's found in his Japanese car because he's is adamant that they're invasive. This prompts the lads to discuss border control as Lukey relives the moment his football boots where confiscated in New Zealand. Elsewhere, Luke educates us on the Guano Islands, which Donny insists would be better named the Bird Poo Islands, and contemplates the hierarchy of animal poop.Plus, they also talk about their upcoming holidays and Pete crowns Luke with the title of 'Big Strong Boy' after he tells us about his new holiday assignment: child carrier.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete Show I'm Pete Donaldson I was trying to perfect before the record the noise that the buzzer makes in catchphrase when you buzz in It's a very good impression

and it's good that whatever changes about catchphrase the hosts, the contestants sometimes even the graphics the real star of the show is that noise. Yeah. Where do we stand on... It's not even Bradley Walsh, is it?

Bradley Walsh is... Stephen Mulhern now, isn't it? Stephen Mulhern. Who do you get if you can't afford an ore deck? It's Mulhern. It's Mulhern, baby. Mulhern. Give me the Mulhern button.

Mulhern. One would suggest Revels in it as well. I saw him once at a tube station door, and that's all I've got. A tube station door? Yeah, and my boss looked just like him. My ex-boss used to look like him. So that's all I've got on Mulhern.

But when you say tube station door, do you mean a tube train door? No, I mean the barriers. Oh, okay, right. They're like little kind of, they're like saloon doors, aren't they? They are a bit, yeah. Severe saloon doors.

Yeah. I don't think they're quite so effective like a kind of an outlaw moseyed into a saloon in the Wild West. After using Apple Pay. And it went, it's not the same thing, is it? I'm still a paper man

because I live out in the sticks. It's a 37 quid. Don't be bringing paper tickets up into the commute baby 37 quid um for a for a travel card uh in and out and also single trip single single day that's my day's transport you can travel anywhere in germany on the train for 15 euros it's a disgrace it's there was a man who was like a was a boy. He's a kind of software developer. And he basically is this digital nomad who lives on a train. He just gets on the train in the morning and just goes like right throughout most of Germany for a laugh. And then he'll just get off in like Berlin and just hang out there for a bit.

And he's basically he sleeps on the train. He eats and showers in the sort of German sort of um german rail company's kind of lounge i think the first class lounge and i think he spends about 10 000 euros a year on first class travel everywhere and he looks like he has a lovely life but i mean he says he can't get used to sleeping in a bed that's not moving wow so the difference for those people listening to this show one of the difference between you and me, Pete, you see that as quite an aspirational, interesting story, whereas I see that as really depressing.

Yeah, but I find travel quite... You know, like when, in the same way that, like, crackheads, always on the move quickly. They're always shuffling off to get something or to move away from something. And I just always think that's the way to be always be moving and no one will ever but not what you've done not the crack well makes you move faster yeah so you i've been i've talked about this a number of times but just it is remarkable to me how difficult it is for you to stay in the same place i mean i'm quite

bad for it i don't really like pub quizzes for that reason the reason I can't get past public I don't want to blow my own trumpet Pete because you know, it's not really my style But as you can probably imagine because of my general knowledge I get asked to do a lot of pub quizzes, right? I always say no because I don't I just hate the idea of Having to sit in a pub from 730 knowing I can't get out of there till like 10.30. I just don't want to, I might not want to do that. Yeah.

I might want to do it. I might want to sit there and have a drink for a few hours. But you like a pub. What's wrong with you? I like a pub, but I don't want to be dictated to in a pub. Right. It's enforced fun.

The pub should be the last bastion of people being able to do what they want. Does, I mean, would you ever kind of consider doing like half a pub quiz? I'll be like a kind of gun for hire, just kind of float around. Bring me in for a round. If you give me five quid, I'm in for a round.

You buy me a drink, I'm in for your round. And just float around like a floating voter. You give me a fiver, right, and I'll join you up to and including ITV2 series. Right, okay, yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, you've said you're not a big fan of all that business. No, I'm not. Actually, that's the worst category for me, along with probably capital cities.

I'm not very good on geography. Anything else, I'm all right at. All right, okay. Well, if my phone hadn't suddenly decided to not give me any data, I could have given you a couple of questions there. If you give me a few Capital City quizzes questions, I might be all right, but it's a real weakness to my game. So really, really modern music, geography,

and probably ITV products are going to be my biggest weaknesses. All right. Who wrote the book Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Magical Car? Don't know. It was Ian Fleming, was it? Yeah, I think that's right, yeah. Wow. That rings a bell. What is the name of the 1976 film about the Watergate scandal starring Robert Redford

and Dustin Hoffman? It's called All the President's Men. All the President's Men. Yeah. Who was the head of state in Japan during the Second World War? General Hirohito, is it? Emperor Hirohito. Was he really in charge, though?

I don't think the emperor's really in charge. I mean, the emperor was the one who gave up, and he was the one who gave up, and he recorded his giving up speech. Yeah, that's how you say it, onto two vinyl records. And I think part of the army were trying to make the war continue, and they were running around his castle trying to find these two records.

Oh, what, to stop it getting out there? To stop it getting out, to stop the message to lay down your arms. It's fascinating. And that time when he recorded this um uh this this this uh speech a lot of people hadn't heard the emperor ever speak and so he had this kind of very sort of posh um sort of language that nobody really sort of properly understood properly properly speaking like old japanese or something he was speaking like proper like royal family like you know um you know wrong and like really old school japanese that not many people could

understand i am i well i i've um just on that note a lot of the um a lot of the kind of mid probably to late 20th century historical thought historiography around the dropping of the bombs on hiroshima and nagasaki have always been like oh well you know it actually saves more lives than it killed because longer term it just meant that the Japanese had to surrender but actually the general consensus now

as far as I understand it is that they were probably about to surrender anyway yeah and it was completely unnecessary to do it but anyway

the answer is Hirohito I knew that right any more questions or was that it well I mean to be honest two questions one about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and one about interest. But anyway, the answer is Hirohito. I knew that. Right. Any more questions or was that it? Well, I mean, to be honest Two questions. One about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and one about

Japan. Oh, and all the progress men, which I've read. I've read the book. The book is fantastic. What was the Turkish city of Istanbul called before 1930? Constantinople. Correct. Name the coffee shop in US sitcom Friends. Easy. Central Perk. How many human players are there on each side in a polo match?

Oh, I'm from the working classes, so I don't know. You can't just pull that. I'll have a guess. I'm going to say six. It's four. Four. Yeah, horses involved. It'd have to be a big pitch, wouldn't it?

Yeah. That's what those horses were doing that ran across London the other day. Yeah. If you're a centaur, could you just get involved as like a kind of... I also find it odd to think that centaurs have two rib cages. Oh, nice. I like that. Yeah.

They would have, wouldn't they? They have to have. Yeah. Big fan of... I mean... Is the horse part of the rib cage just empty? Would it not... Could you not just run a whole...

A big, long rib cage? Yeah, because I think pervy um artists of the centaur they kind of put the start of the pubis on the man you know what i mean leading into the muscular kind of which is the chest of the horse yeah it's needless i think they just wanted to for it to kind of sexier it'd be a bit sexier and muscular. So I would say that really, if you're going to be doing centaur stuff, the way I would go about it would be, I'm not doing any kind of genitals on the man bit.

That's just chest. That just basically goes... You're not upstaging a horse in that area anyway, are you? No, exactly. It's embarrassing, if anything. So you're going to go rib cage, if anything so you're going to go rib cage stomach then you're going to go

back into rib cage as you get between the horse's front legs yeah and then you're going to go all the way back to stomach and then horse genitals

and then tail put in another rib cage with the legs and the arms so there's six limbs if we're pissing about let's just put another rib cage in there but then these two

I mean, ultimately, you're going to really undermine the very fabric of the beast if you're not going to have a lower ribcage. Well, exactly. I mean, the whole idea of the ribcage is to protect, does it have two hearts? I don't know. That's what I'm saying.

Presumably you'd want the horse heart to run everything, wouldn't you? Because it would be stronger. But you want the human heart for love. I think you should have one rib cage, but it basically runs down the pubis and round into where the horse's rib cage would start. I think it should be one gigantic rib cage, like a fencer's mask.

I can see. I think that's probably a great solution. So, I mean, octopuses have three hearts, don't they? Okay, right. And one does the blood around the body, and the other one does the blood through the gills, I think. And the other one's just investing. The other one does NFTs.

Yeah, the third one's just a spare one. Just for the grind. It's like a spare tyre. It's just for the grind. It's surrounded. It's like in one of those defibrillator boxes. Yeah. You just break it open.

And I also read that cockroaches have got hearts dotted all around their body, but I don't know if that's true. Why would they need that then? Oh, like little kind of silo, kind of mini, like a start-stop battery on a car. It just does one thing.

I think they've obviously just evolved like that, but they're obviously incredibly old, as even the evolutionary thing, but I think they've got loads of hearts. I've just had a horrific thought. I was dicking about with that car in Japan, and I opened up, I was replacing a wing mirror gasket,

and I opened up I was replacing a wing mirror gasket and I opened up the under underneath the car I opened up like unscrewed a lot of stuff

and then opened up like this kind of plastic kind of protective shell and a big Japanese snail

fell on my hand why it come all the way from you get in trouble for that I know stowaway I couldn't help it I didn't know it was in there.

Imported, invasive... An invasive species. It's still alive. An invasive species. No, it wasn't. But, then I was a bit weirded out by that and I felt a bit ill. And then I pulled the trim back in further. And then a spider went on my hand. Now, that could have been a dangerous one.

You didn't just let that go into the wildlife, did you? What do you want me to do? I'm not king of the spiders, am I? You have to kill it. You have to, it's invasive. It was quick! I would have killed it if I could have caught it. Went off to, you know, start a new south end based Japanese

spider colony. I don't know, I'd go Nelbit. Yeah, you're mockingly saying that now, but let's wait and see what happens in six months. Life comes at you fast Donaldson you'll be first against the wall but the Japanese

spiders come along do you know what speaking of that right I didn't actually know there were any protocols involved at the

point time because I was like 17 and working in Asda but I told you before that my mate Lewis he used to run

the fruit and veg bit and we once saw a massive fucking spider in a box of bananas. Oh dear God. Like massive. And I don't know what it was. I think the bananas came from the Caribbean at the time. Possibly South America.

But South America is where all the main ones are. That and Africa. The terms of the spiders and that and we didn't know what to do we're like what the fuck are we gonna do so we I think we ended up just throwing the box in the bin so it was between that and play at some reggae what is wrong with you in my defense in my defense in the last 27 years I don't think South American spiders have taken over the whole of the South Coast so it's not it appears to be

there's been no harm done but it was it was it was a massive spider it was furry and it looked fucking angry if it's one spider though

presumably it needs another spider to procreate so you know yeah could have been another one in another box

exactly do you remember the film Arachnophobia I do but I don't remember it I don't remember I mean I know what it was about

but just a lot of spiders kicking kicking about in it it was great though and it had an amazing an amazing cameo from John Goodman

who plays the exterminator guy okay yeah it was fantastic there was a video game around about that time that was just called Exterminator. And it was quite interesting

because you just had this disembodied hand and you just go around sort of like grabbing and twisting and punching these horrible animals that would arrive in your kitchen. I remember, I just remember it being a really, really frightening movie. And I'm not even frightened of spiders necessarily. But it was pretty

funny. It was massive at the time, I remember. Yeah. Well, I mean, I do worry that what if that spider, what if you're a spider? I feel like with your one, you were young. And there should be protocols in place.

They should know about this stuff. They should be scanning things for this kind of thing. Well, I mean, yeah, but these places are important stuff all the time. So what are the chances of like a car, you know, importing a spider like that? But I guess with bananas, yeah, you should have been aware of the, if you see a naughty spider. It feels like, you know, when those, you go to, you watch those TV shows where um people

come in to like an airport and they've got like loads of like leaves in their bag yeah and they're like and they're like you can't have these that you just cannot have these and go oh i really need these they always really need their leaves don't they it's always really want their leaves those tv programs like that are always based in Australia, who are really, really strict on it. And they say to them every time, that form, you've ticked that box on that form. Why have you done that?

Why have you done that? And they go, oh, sorry. It's every week on that show. It's always someone who's brought an astonishing amount of food. And it's the kind of food that you can buy down the shops. It's just they've just collected all of the leaves in every jar in their house and put it in their suitcase. And they're going, you can't have all of this.

I mean, this is insanity. You could very easily buy all this stuff and it would be cheaper to do it like that. Yeah, I agree. When I played football in New Zealand, my football boots got impounded. Right, okay. Because I had grass on them.

Oh yeah, of course, yeah. But I mean, just grass. I had to wait for that to be sprayed and like, I had to wait for ages for them to be like

quarantined or some shit. Took the magic away from them. They're very strict. Now, I think I'm right in saying they're very strict in New Zealand because of what's happened in Australia.

Right, okay. Because it's like a really delicate island ecosystem. They can't take chances. Because if you look, for example, I think the good example would be Hawaii. Hawaii has been the source of a load of back and forward between geopolitical

relations for like hundreds of years. Obviously, relatively recently in the grand scheme of things, they've become part of the United States. And obviously the geographical location of it means it's a bit of an outlier. I don't think there's any Original species left in Hawaii, right? I've got a literally all invasive species because people didn't give a shit about that kind of stuff then I see yeah They'd be like a guy back in the day you sent out there to be the trade envoy from so-and-so He just take his dog with him, you know, and boy noticed the dog's killed every single native frog in hawaii like that kind of stuff is ridiculous there's also

amazing the story of um like the fight for power and diplomacy and geopolitical power in like the south pacific is actually really interesting there was a there's a um a series of islands have you heard of these called the Guano Islands? Right. Where the guano eps come from? I don't know. I don't know. But what I do know is that before kind of artificial fertilizer was developed as a product, guano was a really, really precious commodity.

And so there were these islands in the South Pacific called the Guano Islands. I'm not sure what they're called now. But they were literally untouched and they were 100 foot deep of guano right what is guano sorry guano is like bird poo basically oh okay and so they're these bird poo islands that were

just worth better name more descriptive worth like an incredible amount of money because they had so much of this essential natural amazing fertilizer and so worth like an incredible amount of money because they had so much of this essentially natural, amazing fertilizer. And so they didn't quite go to war over it, but certain countries were involved in skirmishes

around securing those islands. Yeah. Right. Because there was no way, other really effective way of kind of, you know, fertilizing. Synthesizing this stuff, yeah. Like ambergris, innit?

And the US ended um taking control of them and i think they still might even have control of them now um right but yeah so it's all pretty interesting stuff um peter i can think of um no better person to administer iguana island than your good self yeah i um um well yeah but would i be an invasive species myself would i be stealing those um turds for my own uh things i can imagine you just going back sending a letter back afterwards saying turns out these irons were completely covered in shit so i just chucked them all in the sea i think we've got i think uh um comms has failed, and I don't think you want any of this stuff. I don't think you need this.

I don't think you need any of this. It's just greasy, fishy bird shit. My late uncle was a Victorian military historian of some repute, and he used to spend quite a lot of his time in his younger days digging out old Victorian forts. Okay, right. So he would dig them out, categorise them,

write books about them and stuff. That was his thing. And some of them would have been left in disrepair for literally since the Victorian times. And he said a lot of the time he was going into these different chambers and essentially spending all day digging out pigeon shit.

It was like six feet deep. Oh my God. So you must really love Victorian military history to be doing that. Yeah. I mean, are you kind of, it just seems like, what, he just did it with his bare hands? No.

I mean, he used a shovel. He was like a team of excavators and stuff. Right. Okay. Right. Well, that just makes it sound like he was just off. He was just on a bit of a yum. A disrespectful view of the historian society.

No, I'm just thinking, scrambling around. They're just like probably eating some of it um no but i mean like like i'm just imagining a man a boy alone by himself with a shovel not a team of excavators excavating with proper tools and and and i just said he was a military a victorian historian of some repute. Right. He's got like grants to do this stuff. He's got access. He's got means. Yeah, yeah, no, but I... I'll just save a bit of money

and do it with our hands. Buy some lovely beers later. What do you think historians do? That's how I... Yeah, but historian isn't an archaeologist. So like historian

just sounds like he's got no business with any kind of shovel in his hand. That's all. That was my concern. That was my concern. We should,

Pete, we should take a break. When we come back, I've got something else I want to talk to you about and I'll be honest with you, it is about animal shit. We're back with a look

at Pete Shaw. Luke, sale. I've just realised what that says. The Patreon Football Ramble entry has just gone up and it says General Sarker tickets. And I was like, I was trying to figure out what that meant for the Palladium. Is it a typo?

It's a typo, but it took me quite a long time to sort of go over. They try to say sale. General sale tickets are available. Get yourself to footballramblerlive.com. Good little plug. Just a little reminder there. Nice little contextual plug. When I was talking to you earlier about guano and bird poo,

I don't really know where the word guano comes from. It sounds vaguely kind of possibly Native American, possibly South American, Spanish. But anyway, I think it probably is South American, Spanish. But talking about poo, what is really interesting is that there is, whether people want to admit it or not, a kind of hierarchy to animal poo, isn't there? And what I mean by that is that if a bird poos on you,

or you get it on your hand, you don't seem to mind as much. What poo do you not want on you like there's a hierarchy of the most offensive animal poos is what i'm saying yeah but also i think it's changed if you have access to certain animals i would say it's a bell curve it's a bell curve because if the animal's really small it doesn't bother you like if a rabbit dropping get lands on your hand you're not bothered if a bird poos on your hand you're not bothered it's a bird poos on your hand, you're not bothered. It's not ideal, but you're not going to...

I would say bird poos more offensive, but I agree with you. Like, rabbits to mouse droppings. Exactly. You see them and you're like, pathetic. But cat, dog, fox, horrific. Yeah. Then, weirdly enough,

this is what I'm talking about, the bell curve. If you imagine a bell curve, it's like small animal inoffensive all the way up to kind of dog, cat, fox, really offensive. When you're getting up towards elephant and horse, it's actually not that bad again. No, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, horse and then cow. Cow pats are pretty funny. I think cow pats is bad. Cow pats is bad, but it's got like a crust on the top, so it's hard to, you know what I mean? Does that make sense? The farmyard aspect makes it not as bad. Cowpats is bad, but it's got like a crust on the top, so it's hard to, you know what I mean? Does that make sense?

The farmyard aspect makes it not as bad. Yeah. Would you rather, forget the size, I'm talking about the general offering here. Would you rather tread, because I remember when I was camping once as a kid, my mum trod barefoot in a cowpat, right? Would you rather tread barefoot?

They don't eat meat, and I think it's animals that eat meat is the issue that might be a really interesting yeah that could be the angle dog poo cat poo

is disgusting but it's because they eat meat and grass fed animals aren't quite isn't quite as bad I would say like rabbit poo

is hilarious like yeah and weirdly Sammy will if he sees rabbit poo he will have a crack

at eating it it's absolutely disgusting absolutely disgusting yeah no well he won't eat like most other poos but he'll have a go at he'll have a go at

a rabbit poo but what I'm saying is would you rather tread barefoot in a cow pat or a dog poo cow pat dog poo

cow pat yeah yeah because I've done dog poo and it's you take that off the list I think I've done that in the Yeah, yeah. Because I've done dog poo and it's not nice. You ticked that off the list. I think I've done that.

In the last three months, I think I've done it three times. It's not like visiting a holiday destination. No, I've done that before. Exactly. Don't put doing that again. I've got like a little foil covered map that I scrape off. Yeah, you've done dog poo. I've done every species of dog.

I want to stand in that wombat poo that's square. Cuboid. I'm pretty sure scientists worked out why that was. No, they thought it was to do with the shape of the anus, but it turns out it isn't. Is it? Oh, I thought it was like the law intestine doing its bidding. I think, and I'm absolutely freestyling here,

but I think i read that scientists have worked out that evolutionary speaking wombat droppings tend to be square because they live almost exclusively in quite hilly environments and so they want to mark their territory and they're much more successful at marking their territory if the droppings don't roll downhill. Just evolution. Like some forms of evolution, you're just like, you're being silly. You're being absolutely silly.

But then loads of animals live on quite hilly things. Those goats, those mountain goats, are they territorial animals? I might be wrong on that. I wouldn't take my word for it. It's not really my area of expertise. Nothing is really, to be honest. Well, the animal poop pub quiz, can't wait for that one.

Looking forward to it. How would that manifest itself, though? Would it be like a picture round? That's a good one for a picture round, actually. Mainly picture round, yeah. I think I saw a kid's book in Waterstones. Do we still have Waterstones? I was in a bookshop in England.

It must be Waterstones. Like, there isn't any other, is there? I mean, they've got to still be, you know, in there. You've got foils there isn't any other is there I mean they've got to be still be you know you've got Foils haven't you in town you've got

Hat Charge on Piccadilly it's a famous old one Foils War yeah I think I was in there and I saw a kids book and it was

like whose poop is this yeah my niece has got that book I bought the game for Mark Hens's band and they played it almost immediately it's quite satisfying if you give someone a gift My niece has got that book. I bought the game for Mark Hens's band, and they played it almost immediately.

That is quite satisfying. If you give someone a gift, they immediately start playing it. Yeah. There's nothing better, even if they perhaps just take some pictures for you to say that they're doing it. But kids are clever, and you think they'll probably just know that that's going to make you happy, so they just do it. Exactly.

And as soon as you leave, they just chuck it in the bin. This is not a Nintendo Switch game. No switch game no so i'm not interested yeah um speaking of um earlier i said about um holiday destinations are you someone who goes to holiday destinations more than once or do you you or do you or do you like to move on somewhere completely i'm away next week and um off to cornwall which i've been to a couple of times we're going back to the yeah massively because we're going back for the second time

to that little hut on the beach that I explored in the loft oh are you really the scene of the crime yeah going for a revisiting

of the crime because that's the last thing they'll expect he's not going to be stupid enough to turn up again it can't have been they're going to be waiting for you mate

well they didn't wait for me last time did they but yeah um about two years ago i put my foot through a ceiling uh in a airbnb and then we went back the next year and then we're going back again because it's so good and um even with my foot through the ceiling you didn't get you didn't get busted um didn't get busted. Did a bit of patched up DIY, which in every coming year just looks more and more ratty. And they're not going to be sitting there waiting to ambush you. No. Maybe. I'll tell you this.

It could be that they do know you did it. They were so impressed with the job you did to fix it. They can't wait for you to come back and do some more jobs for them. Do some more bits and bobs, yeah. Well, I lost my glasses on that beach when I fell off a jet ski, and I'm just hoping that I'm going to find them. They're just going to go back again. That was like messaging a bottle.

That seems to be quite unlikely. Yeah. I'm going to the Lake District in July after the Euros, a little break away after the Euros, which I'm excited for. The Wi-Fi I have access to has already got me a hiking backpack that my son can sit in. Nice, yeah. They're tidy.

Have you worn one of those before? Because you're a tall man, so I imagine your back's quite strong. Well, that's not true. I've worn one without a child in it right uh and i tried to experiment with a 24 slab of pepsi max cherry which is rough which is roughly the same weight as my son right and um about eight i think it's about 8.3 kilos and it was fine but um what you're not factoring in there is the fact that the pepsi max cherry 24 pack doesn't really move so the distribution of weight is affected yeah and the thing i was found with carrying the baby in the sling and stuff like that yeah it's not the weight

obviously because they're very small when they're newborns but it's the you're not used to carrying something on your front it feels weird yeah and it does start to ache your back because your body's not used to doing it it's almost a bit like when you go skiing

and you start to use muscles that you just you've got no course to use anymore because evolution has just not caught up yet there's one on the side of the bath

but I've got no course to use it yeah exactly exactly so we'll see how we go I think it's one of those things that like

I have to acknowledge that the wife I have access to is a brilliant parent and does everything really it's one of those things that like I have to acknowledge that the wife I have access to is a brilliant parent and does everything really yet I'm still annoyed

that she's unilaterally decided that it's me carrying him around all the hills in the Lake District when we could be better if we could mix it up I mean I hate to

let people through the curtain but I mean she is tiny compared to you yeah but she's also like a brilliant athlete. Right.

Yeah, but you're a big, strong boy. You've got to do the big, strong boy stuff. No, I look big, but I'm not strong. The power to weight ratio of me is probably the worst of anyone you know. I can't do a single pull-up. It's a Nissan Leaf. I can't even do a press-up.

Right. I mean, could you not, like... I mean, I'm just worried that you are going to be in the doctor's surgery getting injections into a 24-can pack of Pepsi Max if that's your training. He's been quite quiet recently. Yeah.

Stop talking to the baby. I think it's just on paper if you if you looked at it um kind of objectively yeah you would say this man yes he's six foot three and a lump right but he's in his mid-40s almost now and he's not looked after himself so take that into account this person here is a lot younger used to be an enthusiastic gymnast and cheerleader can can basically turn her hand to any sport

really well and is American so therefore had like an outdoor lifestyle and doesn't make excuses for herself who are you giving

the baby to? it ain't it isn't going to be me why don't you why don't you just put her on your back and oh actually I forgot to ask you and the baby can walk around do you want to come to the Lake District for a week in July? why don't you, why don't you just put her on your back? Oh, actually, I forgot to ask you. And the baby can walk around.

Do you want to come to the Lake District for a week in July? Strong boy. Yeah. Anyway, Pete, let's get out of here. That's enough for Monday. We'll be back on Thursday with our batteries and our other stuff, won't we?

I'm about to climb aboard Luke Moore. It's going to be like, it would be the same image of Luke Skywalker carrying around Yoda. I'm going to climb on Luke's back and we're going to run away into the jungle. So you're not really as wise as Yoda? I look as old as Yoda.

I'm as green as Yoda. You've got a bit of the Yoda about you. Oh God, I had a terrible, I was sort of up half the night worrying about some prawns I got sort of up half the night worrying about some prawns I got out of the freezer I think was about

two years old but I was fine in the end I shouldn't have worried anyway we'll be back we'll be back on Thursday

I'll ask you a question but maybe I'll just ask you that on Thursday yeah alright then yeah we'll be back soon and with more battery brands and stuff

so get them in at autolungapitcho.com bye bye with more battery brands and stuff. So get them in at lookandpeachshow.com Bye bye! The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.