The Luke and Pete Show - Cyst to Kidney, done deal!

Episode Date: November 17, 2025

The sheer range of subjects covered on today's episode boggle the mind. Today's topics include, but are not limited to, Pete's Christmas cake recipe, how to beat a bear in a fight, things that are dangerously poisonous, Roman emperors, Russell Crowe, and unwelcome presences on a kidney.The Luke and Pete Show only serves up the longest of shrifts, and don't you forget it. To contribute to this travelling jamboree, get in touch here: [e-mail] you soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pitchell, on a Monday in the middle of November. Lukie Mew, how the devil are you doing? I'm pretty good, thanks. The year is rapidly just disappearing, isn't it? It really is. I'm looking to my right and I can see the Christmas cake that I made a few weeks ago. Oh, tell me about that. You made a Christmas cake?

I'm in a Christmas cake and I'm in a Christmas cake in advance and apparently I've got to be feeding it sherry in the same way that I feed myself sherry It's like a little shop of horrors It's like a little shop of food me Yeah and he's apparently is demanding sherry And I keep on forgetting to get me a little syringe out To feed my cake sherry

It's it's I didn't realise that cooking a Christmas cake would be Or baking a Christmas cake rather would involve so much Admit just having to feed it Like do you know My nan used to make a Christmas cake and just, he used to just go away for like a month and then after Christmas we'd still be eating it in like March.

Yeah. So it used to be a really big deal in my house growing up. My mum used to make the Christmas cake really early and the Christmas pudding. Yeah. And I was never really sure why that happened. What is the Christmas pudding and the Christmas cake?

It just seems same thing, bit more booze than one, no? Yeah, and the Christmas cake my mum made is a weird one. because when I was a killer didn't really like it it was too rich and too much going on and I wasn't into it

and then she stopped making it because she said no one would eat it and now I'd really love her to do it but she doesn't do it yeah that's not that's not that's not

she's retired so it's a bit lazy really I might ask her actually I might just say do one this year yeah have another one this year but she'll go she'll go and buy like

the nicest marks and Spencer one you can find instead so I've got nothing to prove she's got nothing to prove she's done her kind of

Maybe that's why you've got to do it so early because it's got to prove. She left it all out on the pitch. She's run our race with the Christmas cake game. So if I was going to pick someone in my life who is least likely to make a Christmas cake properly in advance, it would probably be you. So I'm surprised by this. Right. Yeah. Talk to me about why you had the idea.

It's not particularly deep. That's the problem. It's very thin. I didn't have a big enough, sort of deep enough tin. It's quite a thin Christmas cake. But what inspired you to do it? You're watching Bake Off, were you? No, no, no.

I'd find that kind of show absolutely hateful. No, I just thought we've got quite a few people sort of popping around for Christmas, so I'll make Christmas cake. Have you? Tell us about that. I've got the nieces and... So you're hosted Christmas this year? I'm hosting this Christmas this year.

And, yeah. Stuart's coming down? Stuart's not coming down. Stuart and, Mom, I think the old Doncaster Train Stabbings meant that they'll never get another train again same trend and yes they'll never do that again if they're taking that badly that news

no I just know for a fact they've added that to their excuse arsenal as to why they're not coming down it's just I just know that's going to be a thing so I've stopped asking to be honest but yeah we've got Frank and EAD champion coming around that's Franks on his second

Franks on his second watch a West Ham game Such a waste time game with him. Frank's on his second hernia op as it stands, and he's just recovering from that. So, yeah, hopefully he'll have enough room for some Christmas cake. I'm sure he will. I'm sure he will.

And you've put that special ingredient in there, Pete. Yeah. Cretem. I put Cretem in it. I'm obsessed with Cretem. I'm obsessed with Cretem. I'm obsessed with gas station pet pills. A good friend of mine, may or may not be the same guy

who I talked about on Thursday. You've got the sukkah table delivered to his house. He was really into Crater. He called it Crattom, though. Crater probably is Crattom, isn't it? Yeah. That seems like a plant, isn't it, from the Far East, I think? Yeah, I think it's like one of those kind of like...

You dry it and you put it in like a tea or something. Yeah. They keep finding these new ones, don't they? And the Americans, they take a bit longer to ban them. You can literally buy them in gas stations, these little bottles of cratom. And it's incredibly... It's like a natural, very natural kind of mild opioid, isn't it? Yeah, apparently it's a pet pill

if you take a little bit of it but after a while if you take too much of it, it's a sedative in the same way that I guess cocaine is because it stops your heart. I'm obsessed with Kreatom and how it's able to be just all over.

They tested gastatian bono pills and nine times at ten it's got actual fucking, you know, not minoxidil. I'm trying to think of the adverts for him's hair. What's the, what's the, what's the,

Vagra. It's got actual like, you know, the active ingredient of Vagra in it. But what else would have in it? Well, it shouldn't be have anything on it because it's a protected drug, isn't it? It shouldn't be, it should have just fucking, you know, rhino horn and fucking peppers. I don't think you should be encouraging people to buy rhino horn products. Don't buy Ryan. I'm not encouraging. Nothing I've ever said on this podcast has encouraged anyone to do anything. Let's make that very clear. I am.

Put your shock fin soup down. I am a cautionary tale. This is what this is for. It makes you feel better about yourself. It makes the listeners feel better about themselves. Yeah, that's true. I'm sad inside and dying. No, I don't want you to be dying. Right.

Okay. That's going to be sad inside. But the idea that, because what a lot of people will say is that a cratum, for example, is, or are we using cannabis, right? Yeah, man, it grows in the grounds. It's natural. How can it be bad for you? Have you heard of the death cat mushroom?

Yeah, exactly. 30 grams of that will kill you dead. Yeah. It's very selective, isn't it? Selective kind of like mental gymnastics the people do. Everything comes out of the ground eventually, didn't it? Radiation. Pop a stick of polonium in your gob.

Yeah, how are you going to enjoy that, guys? I often feel, look, do you ever feel like when you're walking in the countryside or whatever and you see mushrooms growing, you think it'll be really great to know which mushrooms are safe to eat and which ones aren't? Yeah. And I'm sure there's some kind of system you can remember, like a mnemonic. that you can remember to know which one's to give. But I don't know what it is. It's one of those, I think if you are,

I think if you are kind of out foraging and stuff, I think it's one of those things that, and again, you know, don't listen to me for advice. I think the UK is safer than most places when it comes to dangerous things. There are very, very dangerous plants, but it requires a little bit of processing to get them to where they need to be.

LeBurnum seeds were everywhere in the 80s, and they'll fucking kill you. Right. But, like, mushrooms and stuff. Like, the thing that gets me is that two mushrooms can look identical, but like one of them's got like a slightly variation in the sort of turning up of the cap. And I'm going, what if that particular poisonous mushroom has just decided, someone stomped on it and it just happens to look like another mushroom that's not poisonous?

Like, it's too risky. Mushrooms aren't that nice. When it comes to snakes and like venomous snakes, there's a system, isn't there? Like, around the colours. Right, okay, yeah. There's mnemonics for all these different things. It's the same with the bears, right? Yeah.

If it's black, fight back. If it's brown lie down. If it's white, say good night, right? A lot of bear attacks in Japan at the moment. Oh, really? They are taking over. It's astonishing. They'll just be in fucking schoolyards and stuff.

Like, they're absolutely mad. They've had to bring in the army. It's mad. What? They had to bring in the army. Come on. Because there's bears everywhere. I don't believe that bit of it.

They've brought in the army to support. There's so many bears, they've had to bring in the army. Because the only people. It's an anime. The only people are usually Bear Patrol No, they're bringing in the army because the Rangers aren't getting there quick enough

and there's just fucking bears hanging out in people's fucking, you know, schoolyards and stuff. I'm mad. I think I speak on behalf of all of us when I say definitively, you must always fight back a polar bear. Always go after a polar bear and fight.

It is the polar bear rhymes, the polar bear it doesn't let it on him there so it doesn't like it like it on him so you stick one on him and he'd how would you beat a polar bear

in a fight then I'd disappoint him with my life I'd explain to him what I've done with my life and how I've chosen to conduct

he just got to sleep he'll cry he'd feel a bit sad he'd get back on his big glassier mint and who's the other animal in the glassier mint advent

was it a smaller polar bear or a bird I think it was a fox was a fox what's a fox hangar What's a fox doing out there? It was foxes glassy amids? Foxes glaciomits, wasn't it?

Yeah, but like, why is it an Arctic fox? It wasn't even arctic fox. It would have been, yeah. It would have been, I guess. Yeah. I don't think it has to be, like, environmentally accurate, does it? Well, I mean, if you can't have accuracy in your, in your mints, where else are you going to get them? Who's going to give you the granddad off the world's original advert?

Why is Mozilla Firefox browser logo a Fox? I've never seen a fox using the internet. It's a Firefox. It's a Firefox. No, it's not a fox. It's a fire fox. It's a firey fox. that's different, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Can I also just add that if you do see a bear in the wild, another thing you can do, which is a really important survival tip, is wherever possible, just get between the bear and its cub? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they get frightened. It doesn't know where the cub is and it'll turn around and start to look for things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It'll just turn around and go, sorry. Sorry about that. It's okay, don't worry, have your cub back. It's fine. By the way, on the mushrooms thing, the Death Cat Mushrooms thing, thing. I was just reading that apparently the Emperor Claudius, one of the more famous of the Roman emperors, possibly died through consumption of a death cap mushroom. Oh, what? Are you poisoned deliberately or just having a little snow? I think people have speculated that he was poisoned deliberately

in the early hours of the 13th of October, 54. It's amazing how good the records are, in it. I know. In the early, why is he eating mushrooms at night? Why is he having a steak and mushroom? tart at night for crying out. No, I think people got stuck into his room and he was murdered by poison. Apparently the speculation is I don't really understand this

there was a feather that was dusted with death cat mushroom and put in his mouth while he was sleeping. Just pop a mushroom in there. Surely, just pop the mushroom in there. Yeah, put a whole one in there. I do find it remarkable

that they can literally say this emperor died on the 13th of October 54 and we think it might be this but it could have been that the records are incredible and at that time when you sort of see when we were talking about on the Heimlich man on the last show and I was like astonished to see he was like 96 or whatever when he died

and obviously he died not to 10 years ago you sort of go that's a bloody good innings but 56 he sort of got he could have lived longer if he didn't have the old feather in the mouth if he didn't have so many bloody enemies But what was the life expectancy under the Romans, though? I don't know. I don't think it was, I think it was probably about 60, wasn't it? Like, surely.

Not as high as 60. I think it went off a cliff after the Romans left England. I'm pretty sure the dark ages were. But I'm just looking at it now, right? Apparently, life expectancy in the Roman Empire was 22 to 33 years. Right. So he's done all right then, doesn't he? Yeah, but I think if you're the emperor, you're going to be an outlier.

You're going to have the best mushrooms. You're going to be looked after. where you're not going to meet as many people when we visited it's remarkable the development and the civilisation they had when we went to Pompey right

I grew up in a town called Gosport right which is a shitty part of Portsmouth basically I was walking around Pompey going this is better than the town I grew up in yeah right okay and it's 2,000 years old

what it's got what it's got did you don't think it was quite small like the actual walkways I guess you don't sort of need to get a Austin Allegro down there in the 70s like it's it's They still had the tracks from the horse and cars, didn't they?

Yeah, mad, absolutely mad. And they also did this thing which I thought was amazing where obviously there was no street lighting, again, like gospel. But they had basically gone out of their way to find really reflective stones and carefully put them in the pavements and the road. So on a moonlit night, it lit the street up. That would look amazing.

What an amazing thing? That's like a... It's great. But you were there. Oh no, you weren't there, you didn't turn up. No, I went later, but I didn't see the stones. I just walked around, you know, where's the Wanking Man? Right, I've seen him, I'm out of there.

Also, by the way, the Wanker man's good, but also the brothel in Pompeii had a cock and balls logo engraved into the outside of it. So people knew which one it was? Yeah. Was it kind of brothels as acceptable as... I don't really know. Strip clubs are in America. Do you know what it?

It's the sort of thing that people will just go to. Yeah, I'd have you been Steve. I've been getting my rocks off in the brothel. I also really love the, there's a fact on one of the kind of fact board things there. I think it was Pompeii. It might be somewhere else in the Roman Empire that I've been to.

But anyway, it said that the emperor at the time had insisted that the slaves didn't wear any identification to show they were slaves. Right. Because they didn't want the slaves to know how many of them there were. Oh, nice. That's, that's thinking, isn't it? That is thinking.

There's more of us than all of this. Exactly. Exactly, right? Brilliant. Love that. Yeah, I mean, listen, that is a whistle stop tour through your Christmas cake. How to beat a bear in a fight unequivocally. Poisonous mushrooms and the Roman Empire.

You don't get that or I never shine. You don't. You don't. Possibly with a good reason. No. Yeah. Have we got anything else in the tank? Nah.

Just got a break. It's got a break. All right. We'll do some emails after this. It's the email section of the show. We occasionally do when we don't have enough stuff. Before we do emails, by the way, you just remind me of something. Oh, no, no, no.

I'll not have this. Did you enjoy the most recent Alan Partridge series? I couldn't get into it. Really? No, I really liked it. I think sometimes you got to watch comedy twice. Watch it again. Go on.

Yeah, I felt like that was this time and I watched it back and I think around the third time I watched it, I loved it and now I really like it. Yeah, yeah, you go watch it again.

I couldn't get stuck into How Are You, it's Alan. It was good, man. It was a little bit, it was a little bit more podcasty in that like, you know,

spent a lot of time on like, like hills and stuff. Yeah, but this is what low hanging fruit in there. Like, what? Well, just like the fact that, oh, his, his girlfriend's having on the fair with his,

with the, Tannin Salon guy and... Is that, yeah, but is narrative really the... No, but I just feel... Here's the thing, it took me out of it, because basically, if you haven't seen it, he, in, through the various episodes, he keeps seeing the tanning salon guy's car, right?

With his wife's, his girlfriend's car, right? And it's like, oh, they're outside a hotel and their cars are parked together and his girlfriend said she was going to be in London, but what's going on? And I just thought, well, if you know anything about the Alan Partridge kind of Uber, I mean, he's had loads of girlfriends.

He's been divorced. His wife famously run off of the fitness instructor. Realistically, he's not going to not understand what that is, and it just took me out of it. But he's not that stupid. But I think he was trying to protect his rep for the television, because he's been watched, isn't he? So I think he probably was, I think he obviously knew what was going on,

but it just took a little bit of time to kind of feel comfortable. I got, he was just, he was just being stupid. And I don't think Alan is stupid. No, I don't, no, I, I think he, uh, I think he knew what was going on. In many ways, it's amazing that he's still doing, he still doing like original content. Yeah, it was good. I think it was, I thought it was pretty solid. I would, I would definitely watch it again.

Did you like this time? Uh, yeah, oh, it was excellent. Yeah, really, really good. And did you like mid-morning matters? Yeah, I like all the new, um, giving brothers stuff. They just kind of, they just know how write him and, uh, yeah. Yeah, well done. Well done, Alan.

Just a little claim to, is that Neil Gibbons occasionally DMs me on Twitter. Oh, there you go. Fan of our output as well, Peter. What a lovely claim to fame. I think it is actually quite a nice claim to fame. Are they your favourite Gibbons? It was a good question.

Pete Gibbons. Pete Gibbons. Who's Pete Gibbons again? So Pete Gibbons is a character that you never see in the office, but he's also a real man who produces a lot of stuff that we've worked with before as well, but they're separate people with the same name. All right.

Gibbons, the animals. Dave Gibbons is the artist for 2008 and others. All right. It's a surprising amount of people with the surname Gibbons. It doesn't seem like it would be a very popular surname. Yeah, maybe Gittins will take over after the famous footballer. Well, I mean, it's very much, the ball is in his court, which is not an analogy you understand as a footballer.

Show you do some emails. Well, no, I've got a list here of famous people called Gibbons if you want. Okay, yeah, we'll fucking hit us up the side of the head with it. There's not really that many ones that you'd know about. There's a Canadian racing driver called Pete Gibbons as well. And there's a New Zealander pole vaulter called Paul Gibbons. Yeah, okay, nice. I'll tell you what, I like this.

Listen to the name of this English, English 17th century composer, right? Orlando Gibbons. Orlando Gibbons. Wow. Sounds like a jet pilot. Fully fledged gentleman of the Chapel Royal and a graduate of King's College, Cambridge. I went to Cambridge last week. I went to an event with our colleague Finn.

Oh, yeah. At Jesus College. Didn't Finn used to go to? He wouldn't have me, Jesus. He was Jesus, would he? He was Jesus, right. So he got invited back to speak on a panel, and I went along to support him. And what's interesting is the master of that college is the person who founded the production company, something else?

Okay, right, okay, nice. Yeah, and so she actually had me back in the day. She had us for dinner as well. Did you think that, what was her name? Sanita, I know, miss. Sinita, Elaine, I think, her name is. What did you think of Cambridge University? Because, I mean, I went a fair bit and stayed in one of the colleges a few times

because my mate went to Peterhouse. And it was a very different experience than the top of a university. It's a completely singular experience compared to. So, I mean, obviously, it's funny because I, obviously I went to UCL and that is an illustrious university, but it's a city university and it's more modern. And so it's completely, even that is completely different. Yeah. The Cambridge thing, so the Wi-Fi have access to went to Cambridge.

And so I've been to many a dinner there and done all that kind of stuff. And every college is obviously slightly different. And what always informs my experience of doing an event and then a dinner at Cambridge College is that at no point do I have any clue what's happening? No. The protocol is baffling. But just even just kind of like, you think, I imagine, as somebody coming from like a state school to that, which is what happened to my mate,

and he had a bit of money. If you don't have any money, this, like, you imagine you're spending an amount of money on your education, but then there's bops and dinners and suits you have to buy for the fucking dinner. And it's

like, what suit is this for? Why isn't this? Why can't I just wear my normal clothes? What is going on? Help, help, help. But I think with the students themselves, they do take the time to orient them. I think when you're a guest it's harder Like there's like

When I was at this dinner There was like every So often they're hitting a gong And sometimes you stand up And sometimes you don't And I said to the guy sitting next to me Why have I got to wear a tie But they're not wearing a tie

They're not on this table We're on this table Right The tables are the same No no no This is the top table It's not really the top table It's like

It's like that It's like a Russian wedding we went to I've no idea what anyone's saying I have no idea what anyone's saying At some point you stand up and then someone says something in Latin and you can't start your food until someone else starts their food.

It's all very, I'm very grateful to be though. There's history geek in me loves it. Yeah. But what was really fascinating about the dinner by the way, I forgot to tell you this. I mean, we'll get onto an email in a second, but is that I was,

so you obviously, the great thing about doing it is you get put with really interesting people, right? Yeah. And all who've got different reasons to be at this dinner. They do these dinners like three or four times a week or whatever. And the people from all over the place are there.

And I was sat next to an older lady called Barbara, a fascinating woman. She was a prosecutor out of D.C. And she was visiting Cambridge for some fellowship thing. And she served on the investigation inquiry for the 9-11 attacks. Right. Okay. She delivered the report. Right.

Okay. Right. And she was a fascinating, fascinating woman, really, really interesting to talk to. Do a bit of dinner on it? Say again She'd do a bit on dinner A bit of dinner on it What do you mean?

Do her highlight Do her party trick Read out the report She didn't read She was Obviously I'm straight away I'm going Tell me about the conspiracies

Tell me about the steel beams That had no That had no She had no truck with that obviously No But it's funny She said to me That she was such an aggressive

Prosecutor On the circuit she was on That she got the nickname Maximum Babs Which I really loved Maximum Babs He was an amazing person. Anyway, let's do an email.

So we've got an email here from our friend Kieran. You met Kieran, right? Yeah, yes, I think I have. Yes. Australian guy, also a lawyer. Involved heavily, I think, in the idea of promoting whistleblowing in Australian corporations, I think. I thought he's doing a good thing. I thought you were going to say athletics.

He's a journalist. He's a journalist guy. He's a journalist guy. He's also a surfer, a passionate surfer. and a runner, as we'll hear in this email. Before we start, are you a passionate anything? Would you say that you were a, yeah, would you say like, apart from lover, obviously, that's a given, all the stack boys are.

Just don't get the opportunity to do it. I've got the chance. I'd love the chance. I'd love the chances I've got. The, yeah, I just think, you know what, people sort of have these interests. All of my interests are pathetic when said out loud. Pathetic. Just give us a couple of examples Well, it's just too disparate

Christmas cake Car, fixing a car You're into your car Yeah, you're into your DIY Doorbells I love me doorbells I think you could be into something passionately

And not be that good at it I don't think that's good at it It's a good at it It's a good point actually Yeah I guess if you're I guess when you say it's passionately People assume a level of You know

You're being quite decent at it But you don't have to I suppose Yeah good No it came up a couple weeks ago With the Wi-5 accent She told me I need a couple of hobbies.

Right. So I've got my first golf lesson next week. Right. I fancy getting a bit of golf down me. So I'm going to do that. I'm passionate about history, aren't I? I like reading. To be honest, I spent quite a lot of my time on my own reading about history when I'm

on my own. But last night, actually last night was a funny one. And Kieran, we will get onto your email. I know you're a kid listener and you will be wanting to hear it. So the last night, Pete, this is going to basically puts me in a terrible light, right? no um the wife i have access to was volunteering at the local theater as she does um and uh that's on a monday night as we record this yeah and um and so i do um put put my son to bed and obviously he goes to bed pretty well these days and then i go and get some dinner now i was sitting in the

diner room eating my dinner and i was watching colorized and um mastered remastered uh footage of a First World War biplane flying over the topography of the Western Front for about 25 minutes. Right. And I was on my own. It's honestly, if someone walks like that, that is a tragic scene. Will you do not on your phone or on a laptop? On the laptop. All right.

At least it's a big screen viewing. Yeah. Look, I think you can get away. I just think you need the context. You need to at least be watching a documentary rather than just silent footage of planes going It'd have some music put over the top of it, to be fair. Oh, okay. Evanescence.

Bring me to life. No, it was. It was some kind of, some kind of like choral classical music. But that's basically what I'm doing. So was how passionate about it? I suppose so. Monday night, Sarah does choir and I sat down and was, I was writing questions for Barry Darsau. The, Barry Darsaw, I better figure that one out.

A wrestler and was watching footage of his. wrestling, a wrestler called Giant Baba and Andrea the Giant give a giant Baba worth of Google. A astonishing work related though, right? I didn't need to be watching Giant Baba and Andre the Giant fight.

It's tangentially work related. It's tangentially yeah, but I got nothing out of it, but I was watching the wrestling match on the Tokyo Dawn from 1993. It's not, it's not ideal is it? But watching two giant men with problems with their knees just kind of hobble around and have a bad

time. Did you pleasure yourself or not? No, no, no. That's... No, no. By the way, speaking of watching things, I quite fancy watching that new Nuremberg movie. Oh, who is that?

Russell Crow plays Herman Guring. That's right. I was like... The cast is amazing. It's in the cast of it. The cast is really good, but him is Gering. He's good, but I just don't... I don't know why.

I know I'm sceptics as well, but you know what he's like Crow? He can pull it off. You see a still of Crow in Master and Commander and he looks preposterous. You watch the movie, he's fucking brilliant. It's a brilliant, brilliant film. Yeah, yeah, decent.

It's so good. He can pull it off. That's the thing about Crowe. He takes on big jobs and he pulls them off. Yeah, he's a man. He's explained to Joe Rogan about cricket. Joe Rogan looked entirely unconvinced about the whole thing. Russell Crowe is a good guest for Rogam

because he does not give a fuck about what Rogan thinks. Yeah. Russell Crowe is someone who's very comfortable in his own skin And I think we're as a society We're quite, particularly in Britain We're quite mistrusting of that Yes, yeah Who did the song Cannonball?

Came in like a Wrecking ball Not Cannonball, Wrecking Ball Miley Cyrus Slash the Breeders Cannonball's the Breeders, yeah Miley Cyrus was on Joe Rogan and there's a lovely moment where she was talking about, she was trying to get

Rogan into RuPaul's drag race and he went, oh, but it's all just the same thing, isn't it? They all do that kind of splits move and it's sort of the same thing. And she went, this is what you're fucking sure is. It's all the same guy.

Oh, I've seen that. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. It's totally true. So withering. Absolutely cut him to the car. Brilliant.

I love Miley Cyrus. She's great. I know, I know it's probably kind of, I'm going to get in trouble for saying it, I suppose. But I do, there's somewhere in me that does have an interest in what Rogan does. Just from a point of view,

he's in the same trade as us, basically. and and I love to eye music at the moment I kind of I don't think you can accuse him of like shying away from being challenged and stuff yeah I think he's a fucking idiot

I think he's not going in though is it he's not learning anything I think he's a stupid person's idea of a clever person and I think a lot of stuff he does is deeply deeply problematic but I do find I like it when he goes because like if you see when he got

But Bill Burr goes on there. I said this to you before. Like Bill Burr just fucking hammers him and he loves it. Yeah. Well, his whole Austin comedy scene that he kind of made up full of, you know, sort of crafted these sort of deeply unfunny men who will, who just liked saying Slows, basically.

They're getting absolutely, mainly due to like the Riyadh stuff, but also just generally people are just sort of bored of everyone doing fucking trans stuff. And there's been a real backlash towards his kind of Austin comedy scene. Yeah, yeah, he's done some great stuff around that, hasn't he? Yeah, yeah, he's had a good year. You and I have slightly bonded over like Shane Gillis, right? Yeah, Gillis is one of those kind of like,

well, those kind of Fox News kind of corded kind of guys who are kind of, you know, they can say some stuff where you're just like, it's a bit fucking strong, but then you don't know what sort of American tastes are a little bit different sort of hours. But he's, he's, I could watch him do anything. Like, I just, I've even started watching little clips of,

his 20 minutes show Tires is it called Tires I think it's on Netflix Oh yeah I've seen it I've watched it I know what he is He's just fucking good man

He just he just He just knows out of be fucking funny Him and Starvie They're just two blocs Fucking good man He's quite left wing though Isn't he this Starvy

Well I think he's quite normal He's a big man Darnie guy isn't he He's a pain to sort of say You know But most celebrities I mean at the end of the day like if you're someone with some influence and you think that you can lend someone a candidate a hand

and you believe in that candidate or you certainly believe in that canon to make the world a better place compared to what we're doing. Like you kind of have a fucking duty and you can sort of say, you know, people can get upset and, you know, stay in your lane or shit. You kind of have to.

I don't have any truck with a stay-in-your-lane stuff. Fucking, you've got absolutely... Listen, if you, you have got absolutely fucking no right to say that to anyone. No. You've got no right to. Yeah, if that's your opinion, fine. but you don't get to say you don't get to choose

because someone decides they're passionate about something else or they've got a different interest or they want to try something different you don't get to fucking stop them doing that you can't gate keep that on their behalf that's bullshit I have no truck of that at all if someone it's like you know clearly there are examples of it where

you know my friend runs is an editor of quite a big music magazine and he gets a lot of actors who want to be singer-songwriter asking to be in his magazine right and he says to be fair they should stay in their fucking lane because they're but I don't think they don't have the right to try something they want to try

no I think I think I think certainly on the British side of things we don't allow it like Luke was that Welsh sort of bloc who got a bit of heat last couple of years being superhero films stuff like that he's Luke I can't understand but he's friends with Charlotte Church and he sort of he's a bit of a singer and stuff

I think in America there's not quite that kind of like separation between like you know you're an entertainer, so you're allowed to do, like, more than one thing. Luke Evans, that's it. And he, and, and, and, and, you know, I think people, you know, I think Keitha Sutherland doing his album and stuff, and the aforementioned Russell Crowe doing his album, I think people kind of accept that a little bit more, but over here, we're like,

oh, fuck off. But as a, as a performer, you will have grown up being a singer. You will have done musical, musical sort of acting. My friend's point is that they want their cake and eat it, because what they do is they get their PR to go to him and say, oh, would you like to chat to, um, Russell Crowe? Yeah. And he's like, well, of course I fucking would. Yeah.

Okay, but you can't talk about his films. No. You can only talk about his record. I don't know if Russell Crow's one of them, actually. I don't know if he's done that. No, no, no, but I think with, I think, like, I'm not going to talk about his music. I'll talk about his influences if you want to get through the back door. I'll take it.

But yeah, I mean, it is kind of just, can I just, can I just mop up some conversational points before we go back to Kieran's email, because we've got to go in a minute. The first one is that I've heard a pretty strong. rumour that Zora M. Mamdani is a ramble listener. So take that to the bank. I would I would say that he

would I think his face fits personally. I think he's an Arsenal fan. We've got quite a lot of Arsenal stuff on the show. There aren't that many podcasts out there that do so maybe, maybe.

How do we smoke him out though? How do we smoke him out? It's not arrogant to say we're out there, we're available. I reckon he's probably familiar with at least one of our episodes. A good friend of mine knows him pretty well, so I'm going to try and get some evidence to back it up.

The second point is that I just want to mop up this Nuremberg thing, so the cast for the Nuremberg movie is... That's what they were trying to do. Yeah. Can we just mop up this Nuremberg thing? Just let's move on, okay, right? Russell Crow. We'll go to Argentina and find a few, but yes, fine.

The aforementioned Russell Crowe. Right. Rami Mellick. Yeah. Leo Wood. who's that guy who was in White Lotus, he's in everything now. Good, handsome young British guy.

John Slattery, who plays Roger Sterling and Mad Men. Yes, good. Colin Hanks, Michael Shannon. Now, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Colin Hanks. Oh, yeah, not Chet Hanks, Colin Hanks, good. Yeah, fine, we'll take that, yeah. Michael Shannon.

Shannon, perfect. Great. Good in every, good in every. And finally, for now, your friend of mine, Mr. Richard E. Grant. What a great cast. Yeah. The very definition, he'll be fucking loving, he loves the heavyweight stuff does all, Grant. He bloody loves it. He only pops in for a scene or two.

He only pops in for a scene or two. Then he's back to doing TikToks. Brilliant. Yeah. Right. Anyway, Kieran, he says, hello folks. Longtime listener, first time emailer. Norma just bought a Luke over WhatsApp with my anti-anche post-acogically rants. Good day from Australia. Firstly, congratulations to Luke on his charity run. Impressive effort. I thought I'd get in touch about the discussion of in-run nutrition. I told you, Pete, that I can't have that. those gels because they make me shit myself, right? Yes, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the eye of a needle I was hearing. Down, down if you do, down if you don't.

If you don't take one, you get knackard. If you do take one, you're knackard and you shit yourself. Over the past year, Kieran says, I've got into running. I'm doing two half marathons, one in Brisbane, one on the Sunshine Coast. The advice I've been given for more experienced runners is that the body is just not accustomed to taking on nutrition while running as energy is not otherwise being directed to the stomach because it's instead focused on. the act of running. So the shitting yourself side effect is not an adverse consequence of the gels

per se, just the body not being able to cope with suddenly having food introduced to it mid-run. The advice I was given is to acclimatize the body through exposure. So next time you go on an ordinary run, take one gel midway through it and build up to multiple gels during longer runs so that when you do a long run and you're fueling throughout, your body has developed a tolerance. I personally alternate between gels and lolly snakes and eat them very slowly when I run, digesting a gel across a full kilometre. Love the show. Kieran. So that's a great tip from Kieran, but I know Kieran pretty well. And the takeaway I got from this email was he's trying to make me do it, so I ship myself again. A second gel has hit the anus, sir. I mean,

like, just endless, endless pooping. Is it just because you're just getting a jiggle around? You're getting jiggle, jiggle, jiggled, and your body's going, well, I don't have time to process this. This needs to go out. Does sugar really help all that? I mean, I mean, I guess it must do, But surely the effect. Do you reckon that happened to Paula Radcliffe? What, she shot her pants? What, she just had too many? What, she actually sort of said why she shot her pants?

No, I don't know she said why, but could be that. Well, she could have just had a bad pint. She could have. I reckon she should have a bad pint. And Murphy's on the start line. That's definitely true. I mean, I've said it before, they need to be bringing back, they need to be bringing in sort of alcohol-free beers for runners.

Because you imagine, like, it's got, I imagine like a good stout's got everything you need. for a run. All that beautiful shudders. I was reading before, though, you know, over a small amount of consumption, the effects psychologically on you between an alcohol-free beer and an alcohol beer

is basically exactly the same. It's a complete placebo effect. So you still feel slightly buzzed if you have two of them. Well, can I just be in a situation where I go into a pub and they trick me? I don't want to be told that it's an alcohol-free beer. Sure, it has to be a crime.

It has to be a crime. It's deceit. My eyes. You're not, they're helping out my little liver, my little cistery liver. No, kidneys. I've got a cyst on my kidney. Oh, not again. It was confirmed.

Cist confirmed, kidney. Is it confirmed on deadline day? Done deal. Cist to kidney. Cist to kidney. Undisclosed fee. I don't even know what's the left or the right. That's annoying, isn't it?

They should really tell you that. They should tell you that. It's my kidney. You know, I need that information, crying out loud. Yeah. Right, should we get out of here? Yeah, let's go. All right then.

We'll be back very soon indeed, sooner than you'd probably want in a perfect world. Hello at Luke and Pete Show.com is the way to get involved and we'll read all your episode emails out very soon. Farewell. See you later. Bye. Thank you.