The Luke and Pete Show - Deafened by an oil drum

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

Pete is back from his latest overseas sojourn and, let's be fair, he's walked right into the middle of an absolute shitshow. Soho is deserted, save for a few blokes wandering around taking photos of the deserted streets, and poor old Luke doesn't know when he's going to get to see his pal again next!But, nevertheless, we press on regardless. Today, there's chat about online dates, a listener in Japan has found money on the floor, and a drunken couple have taken a bath in some beer. There's loads more besides, including Naked Gun, video games and stupid things we've done to impress girls.To get involved: [e-mail]***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome to the Luke and Pete show after the cataclysm and my name is Pete Donaldson and I'm joined by I'm Luke Moore. Welcome to Left 4 Dead 3. Left 4 Dead 3. Oh, man, there are so many video games about pandemics and all that nonsense and zombies and all kinds of crazy stuff. Obviously, very serious times. That is the caveat that befits every show from the Stakhanov compound, I'm going to call it. In any podcast that's talking about anything that's a little bit frivolous, we understand the gravity of the situation.

But we're all living that same life all right so exactly let's let's um let's let's occupy our safe spaces together yes apart from my uh dad who is still at work inexplicably uh in a solicitor's firm in hartlepool uh which i would argue not really a key worker unless uh they can continue working and everyone dies and they have to service their own wills. Yeah. I mean, I'm curious about the whole key worker thing and I'll come on to that in a minute. But before I do, you know I just said, welcome to Left 4 Dead 3. I assume there isn't already a Left 4 Dead 3 or is there?

I think there was only two. I thought so. Maybe some DLCs on top of that. So yeah, I think there was one, two, and then you've just invented a third one. Valve, the corporation who make that game, they are notoriously slow with producing anything. Obviously, Half-Life 1 and 2,

very, very popular, era-defining video games. We're all waiting for the third one. And then they've come up with some half-baked VR experience in the Half-Life world. I'm not happy about that. Give me Half-Lifelife 3 you pricks yeah so they're kind of like the my bloody valentine of video games aren't they left for dead 2 was very good wasn't it i used to love that i don't generally like siege games

where you're kind of like just constantly busy shooting shooting shooting like you know the raptors at the fences kind of situations i don't really i find that too frenetic and frightening i want to start a bit more story. Is that because your life is like that? Exactly. I mean, I've come back to a world that's very different to one that I remember. And I think I mentioned it on the Ramble

that Soho is very different at the moment. I've noticed that if I wanted to stockpile anything, the only thing I could stockpile in the off-license around the corner from me is poppers. There's trays and trays of poppers. No one is having chem sex parties in Soho uh so i could easily just grab a tray on their own can you have a one-man chem sex party i might start one yeah so how many did you buy i got three i think three for a weekend is fine three three because they start to lose their potency

once you've opened them. After all, they're not designed for human consumption. They're only room orderizers. Yeah, and I've only ever bought them at Glastonbury, and there's no rooms there. But Pete, on the video game tip, you know, and people have been stunned by this. I'm not really sure why. I declared the team the production team at talk sport on

my show that um i've been playing no man's sky yeah and the ap who's about 21 and the tech op who's about 23 were both absolutely cracking up with laughter they couldn't believe it they were like hang on a minute you are the last person i thought i would ever play no man's sky where did you even hear about that game yeah and i said oh just amazon i looked at it on amazon or whatever and i just bought it and i quite like it they could they just thought it was the most bizarre thing ever so what am i missing about the fact that i played it i don't really understand is it because i'm i'm so basic that people think i wouldn't want to play it well yeah you would be not you'd be known as like a mass market kind of lifestyle gamer. Your FIFA's, your Call of Duties, your things like that.

Your basic bitch. Your basic video game bitch. But yeah, it was a weird title because it's really involved. You kind of have to have prior knowledge of how a video game comes together. But I mean, look, if you're enjoying it, do what does work. Do what does work. Yeah. Yeah, Luke.

Do what does work. Does work. Let's do what does work. Do what does work. Yeah. Yeah, Luke. Do what does work. Do what does work. Let's do what does work. I'm sad to be kind of a bearer of bad news, Reno Man's Sky, though, because this is either something I've done and I can't work out how I've done it or it is a legitimate bug in the game.

And I've Googled it. And one or two people on some forums have been talking about it. I'm not sure how familiar you are in the game and i've googled it and one or two people on some forums have been talking about it but i'm not sure how familiar you are with the game but an apologies to non-video game fans listening to this i will get this over quickly um is that one of the key aspects of what i'm trying to do on no man's sky at the moment is you have to mine quite a lot of copper yes because you have to refine it into chromatic metal so you can make stuff like antimatter so you can travel with your warp drive between galaxies and stuff anyway um for some reason the other day when i turned the game on um all the copper

has disappeared but there's no i can't find it anywhere it's mental like it won't come up on my analysis visor it won't come up on any of the planets i go on and i can't find it anywhere. It's mental. It won't come up on my analysis visor. It won't come up on any of the planets I go on, and I can't find it. And it means I can't really do anything. You've exhausted the copper. What? Copper in the world. I've exhausted all the copper in the entire universe

within two weeks. I don't think that's the case. Apparently so. Yeah, exactly. You've been hoarding like those greedy out-of-towners with their loo roll. You're a disgrace. If it was biscuits, mate,

I'd be on the ball with you there. Not copper. Not copper. So I don't know what I'm going to do. I think I might have to step back. Under your advice, I bought that Witcher game for the Switch, so I might have to play that instead. Oh, lovely.

And you've never played a Witcher game. Anybody playing, well, anybody listening who's familiar with the Witcher series or even the Witcher, what do you call it, TV show? Yeah, it's good. I'm quite excited by the idea of A little more getting involved with Richard. You're going to love it. The whole thing starts when he's in a bath with a sexy lady.

It's really sexy. Oh, it's really sexy. Yeah. It's a sexy game. And yeah, he's with a lady. Anyway, that's kind of the video game update. But Pete, how are you? So we got a tweet earlier today.

Okay. And it simply said, for the love of God, is Pete back? Quarantine is a Luke and Pete show goldmine. I cannot wait to hear what he's up to in all this madness. Yeah, I don't want to count any chickens or touch much wood, although that is something I will be doing in quarantine. Although that is something I will be doing in quarantine. But I don't think I am... I think there was a vote on Reddit about the football ramble

and which member of the football ramble universe would get corona first. Because obviously it's a virus that everybody gets. And I'm symptom free. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Who won the vote then? Who won the poll? I won the vote. Mine was 110. That's mental. It's Jim all day, every day. Jim all day, every day. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Who won the vote then? Who won the poll? I won the vote. Mine was 110. That's mental. It's Jim all day, every day. Jim all day, every day.

Marcus came last. So they thought that it was the last person that was going to get it. But, you know, that sounds like Marcus might have a little sniffle. That's all I'm saying, all right? He's got corona. Oh, Pete's wicked whispers. Guess who's got corona? It's not me.

He might have a little sniffle, and there should be no aspersions cast to anybody who catches it because eventually um no doubt uh especially the sort of things i get up to but uh yeah it's weird sort of looking out my window at the moment the only people on the streets of soho are men with big camera lenses big glass um just waving it around and taking pictures of the empty streets. Now, once you've seen three or four of them, you start to think, right, now that's now a crowd of men taking pictures of the empty streets, and now these streets aren't empty anymore

because people are just taking pictures. I am recording this in a product that is known as the Eyesore Vox, which is a fancy way of saying we've put some egg boxes inside a box stick it on your head you've got a recording booth here's a bill for 700 pounds and i bought it and i bought it thinking this will save me money but the problem is it deadens the sound too much so it sounds like i'm in a box full of egg cartons so yeah i always like to think of you in that position anyway but what what does quarantine look like for a man who hates his own

home um no because i like my own home it's a tiny little shoe box in the middle in the middle of soho uh my main problem is a lot of the shops mainly around me specialise in glass bongs and razors and rizzo. Vulcanised rubber pants. Exactly. Exactly. Prowler I don't think is open. But I would say that a lot of that wear, that rubber wear, is probably quite hygienic if you give it a good spray.

There's a reason why the people in Mad Max dress like the way they do. I was about to say, you'd be a really good Mad Max character if you had to dress like you're from Prowler because there was a lockdown. Well, I was thinking, what mask? I was thinking, like, I don't have any surgical masks. I went to Japan in January and I went to...

And I grabbed a couple of masks because everybody was wearing masks out there because obviously it was very much in the east at that point. And I had one left, so I used that on the way home from Mjolls. But coming through my, going through my cupboard, I was thinking, have I got anything like protective if I need to go outside? And I realised I've got a balaclava. that's not really a balaclava it's got

eye holes but it's just basically um batman's face projected onto like like a knitted woolen balaclava uh and also that i've got one that's like a leopard that hasn't got a mouth either it's just got eyes um so there would be two protective uh piece of uh piece of garmentry and also a fetish wear dog mask that we bought for the football ramble at lifetime would be ideal in this situation so that's in the cupboard that's an option so if you see a sexy dog running around soho uh it's very much me yeah and i think i think also um it's worth pointing i've spoken to a couple of people who have been on dates like one or two dates with someone and now they don't really know what to do and there was something on the bbc website yesterday about uh people having virtual dates i mean on that note if you are going to do that

don't wear any of the things that peaks just described you're gonna go make sure the date goes awry yeah it's a it's a i mean dates as a british person probably quite difficult at the best of times they're not built for them i would say but like imagine going on dates where you have to be really careful about you know what you're doing how do you even do you'd have to go around the house wouldn't you and then you're risking all sorts well how do you go how are you going to go to the toilet though what do you mean well you're just gonna say oh by the way i just need to go to the toilet yeah i mean it's just a bit weird isn't it like normally, you're just going to say, oh, by the way, I just need to go to the toilet. Yeah. I mean, it's just a bit weird, isn't it?

Normally, if you're in a bar with someone and you have a date two or three or whatever, you just go, excuse me, I'm just going to pop to the loo or whatever. But it just seems a bit weird when it's in your house and they can hear your toilet flushing. Yeah, you're going from, yeah, it's weird. Like the social distancing means that, you know, you have to be quite far apart. So you're basically going to be in the same house, shouting at one another, constantly covering yourself in antibacterial gel, and then going, I'm going for a shit now,

and then just doing a shit. So it's like it's no intimacy, and then a lot of intimacy at the same time. You're kind of going from zero to boyfriend-girlfriend situation, or boyfriend-boyfriend, or girlfriend-girlfriend. I can't even work out the permutations. Just walk, all right? Guys, I'm walking. I'm walking in my box. I'm walking my isovox all right it doesn't matter doesn't

matter what we look like it doesn't matter where we are we're in a box we're just in boxes now we live in boxes how are we going to evolve as well because i'll tell you what a few of the things i didn't really expect um from being stuck in my own house apart from for from vital vital journeys is the following one how often i'm gonna have to get up and open the door to let a fucking cat out of the room number two how often i'm gonna do the dishwasher because we're at home all the time so it has to be emptied twice a day sometimes if you only got a little one it's just so much boring stuff to do that you can kind of put on the back burner when you're never in the house it's absolutely insane

also um on the virtual date thing you're getting none of the physical action either well i mean you know the end bit is um let's see if one of us has an infectious virus like that is the end game you know and then the STDs on top of that, what have you riddled with them? Unbelievable. Well, you don't better translate, transmit them,

are you? Cause you're going to be on over the internet. Do you remember the film, uh, naked gun? Uh, well, I mean,

yeah, exactly. Remember the film, naked gun, where I might be naked on two and a half, where, uh, um,

they were practicing safe sex and they both got a giant condom. Yeah. That's good. I saw a tweet, tweet um earlier as part of that bbc article about um online like virtual dates or whatever yeah and it was honestly just so depressing it was quarantine date ideas and the list was just um deliveroo or uber eat deliveries to each other's homes online quizzes quizzes, Netflix. Online quizzes. iMessage game apps.

It's like so depressing. I think I'd rather just be single. Get in, get, you know what? Get, get your loved one a copy of No Man's Sky.

Absolutely. Just, growl the galaxy together. Log in now, show me where the fucking copper is and that's not a useful, Get your copper out. I genuinely need people

to manipulate it to mine some copper. Can you please find me some? where the fucking copper is and that's not a use get your copper out to mine some copper can you please find me some i came home at the weekend and the first thing i did obviously was uh it was order a delivery and buy some food for your house i think people listening are going to be worried that you've not got any food no i've got i've got i'm basically down to my last two um pot noodles i've got a pot in the fridge, basic pot noodles. Yeah, it's...

Do you know McDonald's is closed completely now, and so is Nando's? Say again? Yes, I know. Well, McDonald's was open... The net is closing in on your lifestyle, Donaldson. It really is. The Deliveroo, man. They've got like a no-touch policy, which doesn't make any sense for my money

because I've still got to touch his bag. So to speak. I open the front door, and the delivery bag's on the floor, and the man is standing back from it, theatrically, going, who's in there? And so I've got to open his bag, which he's touched, get my burgers out,

so to speak, and then bye, sorry, but I just want to hug the guy and go, I'm really sorry this is sam yes sam said yesterday that um he got a curry ordered yeah and he went downstairs um opened the door and there was just a bag a takeaway bag on the doorstep and he looked up standing across the road which is an indian now waving at him there you go thanks strange world we live in if i said that three weeks ago that would even be possible you'd be like what and they're mainly sort of delivered in brown paper bags now if you see a brown paper bag on your uh on your front doorstep i'm assuming dog dog

shit i'm just always assuming dog shit on fire yeah so i think we're very early in our quarantine journey for now aren't we so it's not quite as bad as it's probably going to get so um we will be canvassing uh and soliciting uh tips on how to survive quarantine particularly because you and i have got different challenges for example i imagine you're on your own quite a lot and you live in a difficult area for buying supplies and i've got two cats and a wife so it's going to be a different type of challenge for me because my wife they all eat tuna yeah i'm just saying to give you some advice mate i'm gonna have to really be careful about how i behave so i don't set her up the wall um but yeah so do send your tips it's hello at luke and pete show

dot com i think the other side of this little break, Pete, we'll do a few emails. Some of them are isolation related, but a lot of them are not. On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it.

Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. And we're back with the Luke and Pete show. My name

is Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. Luke Moore. And we've got an email, Luke. Shall we pile straight in? You want to go first or do you want me to go first? Alright, you can go first then. No, you can. If you've got one, you go for it. Alright, okay. Alex has helped me out here because I frequently forget to to copy and paste uh the names of the uh email writers because they write it at the end or they don't write it at all and they just assume that i'm going to

figure it out from the email address risky business but uh this email alex has helped me out by writing hi lucan pete my name is alex and i live in japan i've been a long time admirer of your various podcasts, but unfortunately, the Luke and Pete show slipped down my priorities list a little recently. Get out. Get out, Alex. So, tadaima.

Welcome back. I'm back, says Alex. So much so, in fact, that I, yesterday on my way home, I decided to listen to the first, to the Luke and Pete show for the first time in six months as part of my route home through Shibuya Station. Who has started this email? I know I'm sure you're both,

I'm sure I'm hardly enduring myself to you both, but this did lead to one hell of a coincidence. The next episode in my library was episode 127, A Nut Without the Sack. That was ages ago. That was like a year ago, surely. Yeah. I have to admit that I only switched to the look to look at pete short at the point because i was listening to a different pod but started to find it a bit grating welcome to all our new listeners who have been enjoying

some grating podcasts and so decided to check back in with an old faithful approximately 19 and a half minutes into the show you started an email from a guy who went to Southampton Solent Uni. I'm from Southampton, and so this is where that coincidence begins. He talks about unpacking his stuff with his parents into his hall room, and then going for a pub lunch in a nearby shithole called Totten. All very imaginable and relatable for me. At this point, though, I'm walking through Shibuya Station feeling slightly nostalgic for a good pub lunch. Not so remarkable. The story then progresses to when the guy leaves the pub and finds a £20 note on the floor.

Then another, then another. And so he and his dad end up, in his word, plucking crisp £20 notes like daisies. At the exact point that you read out this sentence, I look down at my station floor to imagine seeing my own crisp £20 note. And what do I see? No word of a lie. Two crisp �,000-yen notes on the floor, which is roughly about 17 quid.

Surrounded by confused-looking members of the Japanese public, none of whom seem to know whether to pluck them up like daisies or not. I've never once before seen paper money on the floor in Japan because things usually get handed in by kind-hearted people almost straight away. So there you go. Hadn't listened to the show for six months. The one episode out of 200-odd he picks as the exact story,

exact length into the story at the point where we're picking up money, and then he's picking up 2,000 yen. That's amazing. It is. I'm fascinated by the differences in culture in japan that's part of the reason i love um abroad in japan but what would i can't quite remember something is if it's something you've covered on the show but it's certainly something you haven't covered recently what would the protocol be for in japan if you found money on the floor would it

be seen as a bad thing to take it uh yeah without kind of returning it to someone in authority i would say yeah you can't really pick up money it's it's it's a big no-no uh i know i know there's a lot of crap written about japanese society but that's one of the things that is definitely is definitely true i think you sort of hear a lot of um speaking of like crap spoken about the japanese uh the japanese uh these past few weeks um a lot of of Japanese vloggers I've noticed have sort of said, oh, yeah, because obviously the coronavirus hasn't been spread quite so widely in Japan because Japanese are all about,

they're very hygiene conscious and obviously they wear masks and they're very careful about what they do, ignoring the fact that the Japanese have barely tested anyone because they want their big Olympics payday. Yeah, okay. It looks like they're not going to get it.

It's only this week that Shinzo Abe has admitted that the Olympics might not be taking place, which is a big deal for Japan, obviously. Of course, absolutely. I mean, it's really sad what's going on for a number of different reasons, but there's always, what it throws up is the idea that there's so many different pressures

for different countries, both internally and externally, about what they want to be doing and why. And the real thing that feels to me like it's blindsided people is that this virus doesn't give a shit about your politics or your event or your plans. And that's why it's really, really important to take the appropriate measures because it isn't a case of, oh, this won't happen to me

or this will all blow over. We've all got to do these things to make sure it does pass with as little disturbance as possible, as little damage to people as possible. So it's interesting to me, I suppose, in a fairly morbid way, just how different leaders and different cultures and different countries deal with this in their own way. And clearly, Japan desperately want the Olympics.

And we understand that. I mean, why wouldn't you want that? I mean, we just had the Euros postponed, which is terrible for loads of different reasons. But ultimately, the priority is people's safety and people's health. And that's how we've got to look at it. I was chatting to Courtney Tulloch,

who's one of the Team GB gymnasts and stuff. And I was saying, obviously, these guys guys he was in baku for a week and he was supposed to be going to i think doha for another training camp and like for an athlete you've got to just keep on going but if your target is the olympics i mean he was just sort of saying look as an athlete you can't let um circumstances creep in You've got to be as good as you can be all of the time. And he was like really focused. But for me, I was like, if I get an excuse not to do something, I'm not going down the bloody gym.

That's a really key point because I heard someone, another athlete, it wasn't a gymnast, on the radio the other day saying, look, as ever with these big events, whenever they happen, if there are bumps along the road or whatever if you if you're an athlete going into a once every four years big thing like the olympics it's it's such a big deal that invariably the athletes that master the situation the circumstance is the best the ones who tend to do well and this is no different to that it's just another bump in the road you have to plan for but i believe i'm right in saying that several of the athletes in several different sports

for the olympics haven't actually qualified yet and there will be no recourse for them to do so because everything's been cancelled so it seems completely classical they better have them anyway yeah i guess so i mean because there's like even with um with qualifiers and stuff like that presumably for your individual countries it's a it's a it's a judging thing as well there's like even with um with qualifiers and stuff like that presumably for your individual countries it's a it's a it's a judging thing as well there's a bit of judging that goes in in and out it's not just numbers isn't it especially with the creative ones oh yeah the the but the um the for example the american um selection for like the track athletes and stuff and that's that meet the qualification olympics qualification is a really big deal i don't quite know if it's happened or not i haven't checked but clearly if we were in a case

where that hasn't happened i mean it would just be absolutely ridiculous i mean japan can't just press on as normal because because none of the athletes are going to be able to turn up because they can't travel for one and two because no one knows who's qualified and who hasn't in some of the events i think i think also if like um if this kind of situation, as it probably will, it'll probably rear its head to a lesser extent the back end of this year. We'll get over summer and things will start to return to normal and then there'll be the threat of yet another. If a vaccine hasn't been found and even then it probably won't be 100% effective,

there will be another situation. So then even if they move the Euros to next year, even if they move the euros to next year even if they move the olympics to next year there will still be the specter of everything turning to shit again so it's just something we're gonna have to kind of adjust to on a on a cyclical level oh i have a huge i have a huge amount of um sympathy um because the amount of work that would have gone into planning the olympics is is staggering you know it's just a case of, oh, we'll just put it off a year. I'm sure there are millions of different factors as to why it's hard to do that.

But like I say, the priority has got to be the health, right? Anyway, let's move on to this email from Tom who says, Hello, Luke and Pete. After your mention of the beer bath in Prague, I can confirm I stayed in the hotel and, in fact, went into the beer bath itself. It sounds good, but in reality, it isn't as good as you think it would be. So Tom's talking about actually bathing in what he describes as a mixture of hot hops, yeast, and malt.

It feels strange, it's fairly itchy, and smells a lot like you are being cooked in a loaf of bread you do get unlimited beer from the tap which is a bonus however in reality you can only drink about two or three pints before the smell gets too much and you start to resemble a prune on a side note this obviously got my girlfriend more drunk than i thought as after the bath we had a few more drinks in the bar and then had the fantastic idea to do a guided segway tour of prague all was going well because you got slightly too cocky veered up a curb and hit a stationary car denting it in the process in the process i found this hilarious the tour guide did not it's all about balance in its segway and the thing about alcohol is it's all about balancing it alcohol yeah i love

the idea that in this world you can um you can somehow have a day where you have a bath in a giant vat of beer and then go on a segway mate yeah that is liberty in it that is liberty i'm pining for those give me liberty or give me death give me the drunken segue tour yeah what have you done today i have let two cats out of five different rooms 14 times a day i'd love a segue right now i can have a beer i suppose but it's not the same is it no we shouldn't be drinking at one at one in the afternoon i don't think well the people don't know when we're recording this pete for all they know it's 10 p.m and it's oh it's 10 p.m somewhere in it hey always always i've got another email here do you want it it's 10 p.m and it's it is oh it's 10 p.m somewhere in it hey always always i've got another email here do you want it it's quite a good one yeah it's from um dave and it's under the uh title i

thought i was going to die when that's one of the challenges we set um we set our listeners um dave says i thought i was going to die when i decided to roll down a hill inside an old oil drum. One, it was very loud, so I became temporarily deaf. Two, this is a great bit. Two, the inside of an old oil drum is effectively a rusty cheese grater. Therefore, I was bleeding profusely from wounds caked with rust and totally deaf i'm i'm calling this the tetanus thrill ride yeah three most alarmingly it lacked adequate shock absorption of course it was a fucking oil drum so in addition to being deaf and prone to tetanus i also felt like i'd

been in a car crash bizarrely the girl i was trying to impress seemed to think that i was a fuckwit rather than a super cool stud all in all mistakes have been made all the best dave yeah no matter how uh no matter how clever and intelligent and uh and advanced we think we are trying to impress a girl with some pathetic feat of physical exercise. It's a leveller. It's always a leveller. Since time immemorial, that has been a leveller. I've got a lot of time for that.

Just coming out, broken teeth, blood everywhere, just scratch. Because, you know, girls love a scar. They don't like a scratch. They don't like a scab. They don't like scabs. That's just rule 101 i'd love to partners protective partners do not like oozing sores i'd love a um i think we should set that as the homework now i mean and and and what's the most um ridiculous thing you've done the most regrettable thing you've done to try and impress

a girl or a boy because you've done pete you must have done one of those stupid things i certainly remember um a girl agreeing to a uh going out with me because when you're a kid you're like uh are we going out yeah we're going out uh are you going to go to go out with me um when i fixed i've told the story before uh when i fixed a bbc micro disc drive i said will you go out with me she said will you fix this bbc micro disk drive she didn't say the bbc micro bit uh and i fixed it and she said yes so how did you fix it i unplugged it and then plugged it back in again and reset the machine very nice first protocol i think i remember being about 10 years old possibly a bit younger

and going to one of those kids' birthday parties where you're all just at the kids' house. And it's a bit chaotic. There's loads of kids around just mucking about and playing games and stuff. And I remember at one point in the kitchen of said house party, birthday party, a girl I quite fancied was in the kitchen as well. It was just me and her in there. And she was fetching an orange squash.

Right. And for some reason, I don't know why I did this, but I said, oh, yeah, what are you doing? Just making an orange squash? She said, yeah. I said, oh, I drink it and eat. Oh, no. And she said, oh.

Slammed it back. Do you want me to pour you one then? And I was like, yeah. And she poured me one. Put it in a dirty glass. I had to drink the whole thing with no water in it so i spent the rest of the um so it wasn't diluted so i spent the rest of the house party feeling really ill and um i never actually ended up going out of her anyway uh and if you're

listening her name her name is lois parks if you're listening lois you'll remember that incident as well as i do you know get in touch tell me what you thought about it at the time, if indeed you remember it. That's why Luke has only one leg, because he must have been through diabetes. Yes, severe. By the way, back in the late 80s, 100% that was just full of sugar. Oh, yeah, it would have been.

The idea of it gives me an itchy throat. It would just give you hives immediately. Yeah. So anyway, I think that's probably the note on which to end today it really is yeah so i i am i i won't be drinking any squash neat uh after this but we will be back on thursday with another episode of luke and pete show the quarantine files the lockdown files um Pete what are you gonna what are you gonna do between now and Thursday to uh to keep yourself sane um well we've got a lot of um WrestleMees to record so we're gonna oh nice so you can still watch wrestling no one stopped me doing that no

one stopped me watch wrestling even though I believe this year's Wrestlemania is gonna be played behind closed doors oh just the movie event on. On that note, last night on TV, I was doing a radio show and the TV was on mute in the studio and they were doing a Smackdown with no fans there. And Rob Gronkowski was on it. Yeah, he's the celebrity announcer for, I think, WrestleMania.

I think he's the... And the great thing about it was, normally, whenever you see a celebrity getting involved in some kind of wrestling thing, they look really small and weedy. Gronkowski looked absolutely gigantic still. Love it. Love it.

Is he still? Because he's a party boy, isn't he? He's a big party, is Gronk. Yeah. Does he do those cruises? I think he does those big party cruises, doesn't he? He did, but he got in some trouble for that. He got in some trouble.

Is he still an NFL guy? He's still young enough, isn't he? He's retired officially, but there was a rumor that he was going to come back last season, but I don't believe he did that. But the thing was, though, that I think I'm right in saying, and we might have covered this before, he got caught trying to pay two people in a big crowd

on one of his cruises to have sex. Right, yeah, that's the one. That's the one, yeah. So he got busted for that. So I don't know if he still does them. But he is a bit of a party guy. That's what he's known for, yeah. Love it.

All right, then. If you want to get in touch with the show, and good God, we'd very much like you to, it's hello at lukenpeachshow.com. Luke Moore, would you like to sing us out? Party people, it's Monday night. Pete Shaw dot com. Luke Moore, would you like to sing us out? Party people, it's Monday night. Is that all we've got?

Is that all we're doing here? Bye bye everyone, we'll be back on Thursday with more of this shit. See you later. This was a Stakhanov production.