The Luke and Pete Show - Did you know Lionel Blair was born in Canada?

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

It’s Monday, and it was an eventful weekend. Pete stepped out of his comfort zone and attended a 90s weekender at Butlin's in Bognor, while Luke stayed in and witness a major incident of his own.Luke also manages to say “the most boring thing he has ever said” on the podcast - brace yourselves. Think you can offer something slightly less boring? Email: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the show everyone. Hang on, hang on, hang on a fucking minute. Whoa, whoa, what? I'm not ready yet. I didn't know you were going to go. I've just sorted my windows out on my laptop, mate. Well look, you've always got me ready. We've got me ready for like a cold spring. Ready for podcasting. Tell you what, you've definitely improved your broadband because you look amazing now. It's really clear. 360 quid a fucking month. Commitment. Because it's commitment to the stack cars.

It's the commitment to the internet. Yeah. I'm still using it. I'm tethered to my phone. Hey, look, most instances, that's pretty good. Luke, may I start the show now? Yeah, please do. All right, then.

It's the Luke and Pete show. We're tearing up the rule book. We don't even know where the rule book is. We have taken the rule book out of the library, and it's got a little plastic sleeve on it, and it says it's been rented three or four times this month

but we kept it at home. We're not reading it. We're not using it. We're using it as a doorstop in the toilet. We don't care where the rule book is. We just don't want anyone else

to have the rule book so they become better broadcasters and we help improve podcasting together. It's the Luke and Peter. I'm Pete Thomas. Not proving any... Some of your wee is splashed on it as well.

And it wasn't even a disrespectful move, but you sometimes are just hugely anarchic, even though you don't mean to be. So we've now taken that book and covered it in piss. Yeah. My penis is like a Catherine wheel. It just sort of goes off. Mixed with a fire hose.

Yeah, exactly. Luke, how the devil are you, my good friend? Not bad. I've had a bit of an eventful weekend, but we can get on to that in a minute. How are you? What's new? Good, yeah.

I like your donkey jacket. You look a bit like Rodney from Only Fools and Horses. I do look like Rodney. It's the thing. So, Luke, my mate had a birthday on Saturday, so I went to visit him in what I can only describe as the world's worst place. What's that happen?

Oh, Butlin. Very close. Butlin's Bogna. That's more Portsmouth, embarrassingly. That is more Portsmouth. It's more Brighton Portsmouth, isn't it? Yeah. There was a 90s weekend.

Oh, my God. Where it just, I knew enough about those weekends to sort of go, that sounds like carnage. When I went, you know, very briefly there, but it was horrific. And men, mainly men, on stag doos, drinking at like nine o'clock in the morning and then going to bed at three o'clock in the morning, then getting up, playing the loudest dance music you've ever heard on their little Bluetooth speaker systems.

So who was there? Who was playing? Was it like the bass player from Suede's new band, probably the 14th host of The Big Breakfast? Luke, I mean, you're not far away, but you're making it sound too cool by involving anything Brett Anderson's been involved in. Bands like Bewitched.

I quite like Bewitched. Two good singles. Two good singles. Two good singles that they played. 14. And very few besides. Cleopatra coming at you. Do you remember them?

Don't tell Speller. He loves Cleopatra. Cleopatra coming at you do you remember them don't tell Speller he loves Cleopatra Cleopatra coming at you they were great you used to always talk about them did he I told you Speller's on the ramble

wow I didn't know that Cleopatra coming at you they were the best thing about it to be quite frank because they were the only ones who could fucking sing the Artful Dodger

and his MC they're just together aren't they the Artful Dodger is his MC they're just together aren't they the Artful Dodger is just the two blocks the MC and the DJ I believe so

he's got quite an iconic voice inside that guy he's got quite a quite an iconic voice he was very good all the Garage MCs sound a bit like that though

yeah a little bit a little bit that guy just he sums up the late 90s and finally for now 9-1-1. Is it too harsh?

And I apologise to you and to our listeners if it is. Is it too harsh to say that on another not that different timeline you'd been hosting that weekend? Oh, Anstis was down there. Was he really? Anstis was down there. Still find him. He came on and he was very up for playing a lot of R. Kelly.

I'll give him that in 2021. Read the fucking news, mate. Yeah. And he came on and he had a big picture of himself in his studio at Heart FM DJing. And that was like his backdrop, a big picture of Toby. Is he still on Heart now, is he? He is. Yeah, I think he's still on heart yeah he's still still still doing what he does but yeah that was kind of funny uh and yeah and he came on and he just played a lot of r kelly and and

then disappeared really it was all it was i i you know i love a little dance i didn't do any dancing i just drank heavily it was i mean mate, he's in the Navy. He's just come home from Iraq. And he said, I knew that within three months, I knew within three months, I was like gagging to get back home from Iraq. And he said he knew within three hours he was gagging to get home from the Butlins. It was astonishing. In many ways, his was going home from the Butlins. It was astonishing. In many ways, his toughest tour of duty.

And obviously, with stuff like that, you get a lot of stag do's and hen do's. Mainly men. It was 80-20 men. And the men were all dressed in the cheapest, off-the-peg, making no effort at all costumes, like, you know, your usual E.T. or Super Mario. E.T.'s not even 90s. I know, I know.

To be fair, that was the favourite one. He basically put his legs through a washing basket and put like a kind of like swaddling clothes over his head and had a mask. But it's not relevant. That made me laugh. The point is he's made an effort, but he's made an effort for a completely irrelevant reason.

He might as well be dressed as fucking Laurel and Hardy. It's not the same decade. There's no point. It's ridiculous. The most annoying thing is like you notice it quite a lot. You always see them at like train stations on a Friday or AirPods at a Friday. Lads dressed as wrestlers.

Now, there was all these lads dressed as wrestlers and doing Wrestle Me. I didn't know anything about wrestling two or three years ago. Now I know too much about wrestling. I watch too much wrestling, unfortunately. Yeah, no such thing. No such thing.

No such thing. And I'd spotted one lad. You had your normal ultimate warriors, your undertakers, you know, and some like fringe ones like IRS and stuff. That's nice. I'd like to see an IRS. That's great.

It was good. And I said, mate, Kraken, you've made the good choice there. And he said, oh, thanks. Not many people knew I was IRS because he's not popular. He said, let me tell you about a podcast I do. Let me tell you about a podcast I do. Let me tell you about a podcast I do. And there was another lad and he was dressed as either Billy Gunn or Bart Gunn from the fucking Smoking Guns,

whatever the fuck you call it. An unlovable tag team from the 80s. Again, wrong decade. Disappointing. It's the wrong decade. And I went, mate, are you Bart Gunn? I'm one of the guys. I can't remember which one it was.

And he went, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah and just walked off i didn't i was helping you out nobody at this fucking shit hole is gonna know who bark gun is but i did and i went over and said mate that's great and he just mugged me off absolutely when do i ever talk you know what i'm like we were in that vape store and i won't talk to anyone i don't already know intimately. I won't talk to... I feel awkward talking to people I've worked with for 10 years, Luke. You know, that's just the way it is. And yeah, and I was trying to help out.

And what did I get? I got bollocks. I got absolutely bollocks. That guy's reaction says to me, he wanted to say to you, I am dressed like this to impress girls. I did not want... Not boys! Well, you picked the wrong fucking one then, haven't you? Yeah. I'm really

proud of you for going over there and chatting to him. I think he doesn't realize the damage he's done, because it's probably taken several years for you to build up to that, and he's been struck down in five seconds. Outrageous. Thanks, mate. Thanks, Bart. I've got to pick up the pieces here. Back to therapy, cunt yeah

or as we call it here the luke and peach show um but did you ever did you ever not was it all like so so i've got i've got so many questions as you can probably tell by my response yeah i'll try and put them in some kind of coherent order so yeah are the beers 90s priced no no they weren't 90s priced or i did uh i did get quite lucky because I'm a big Prosecco boy these days. Oh, you keep that quiet. Well, I love a Prosecco. So I was oscillating between the Tiskies that I had in the chalet and I ordered a few kind of Proseccos.

And this guy, who had clearly not been working for Butlins very long, was just giving me like whole half pints of the fucking thing for like four or five quid. And then the manager apparently came over and went, you're supposed to be selling them by the bottle. We can't just sell them by the glass. So I was just buying like $5 half pints of fucking, or pints of Prosecco.

I was having a lovely time. Does Butlins still really smell of that particular brand of hot dogs? Yeah. I mean, they've kind of like, they've got like an integrated Burger King.

Now, it was the same one, obviously, we probably both went to the same one in Bogner for ATP back in the day. No,

that's at Mindhead, isn't it? They did a few. They did Haven. I've never been to the Bogner one, but I presume they're all the same. They're all pretty much the same. Yeah, it's all very much the same. But I mean been to the Bogner one but I presume they're all the same they're all pretty much the same yeah

it's all very much the same but I mean the entire Bogner region had no internet for three hours so everyone had to pay cash it was all really good

1970s fun it really was it's absolutely crazy it's crazy and how long were you there for just one night one night well one and a half

but it was it was yeah it wasn't it wasn't ideal, to be honest, it wasn't. I just think I'd have an awful time. I would have an awful time. It was, it's one of those things, but you don't want to sort of sound

like an absolute dick. What did you dress as? Dressed as a parochial magician, a parochial hypnotist. You dressed as a regional hypnotist, as you normally do. My usual clart. So people didn't have to dress up a fancy dress?

No, they didn't have to, but most people did to their credit. Was it to their credit? No, no. I mean, you're at a Butlins in November. No one's wedding there. But it was interesting. I was wondering how they were going to spread out a three-day festival with the the most popular headline act being the venga boys

i i just wondered how they were going to manage the actual boys i i i didn't stay for the sunday so i couldn't tell you to be quite frank but frank. But that was their headliner on Sunday. I mean, because Bewitched, there was only two original members, I think. And they've replaced the other two with 20-year-old women with abs. And I'm like, you don't get away with this. I'm not having this. They were not. They were not.

When Take That reformed, I was kind of fine with that. But like, don't do the dancing. Because you're like 50 now. 9-1-1 did the backflip. Did they really? The same guys? One of them did a backflip. And they kind of dressed the same as they did in the 90s.

Like cut off wife beaters and stuff. It was really funny. But good on them. You just sort of go... But do they know it's funny, do you think? It's just... Look, you know me.

I've got no self-respect. We'd be doing Ramble live shows until we were 89, if I had my way. Just play the hits and fuck off all. Upset everyone. And just go,

oh, don't they look old? Don't they look terrible? Yeah, but I'm not... I don't want to not do Ramble live shows because I don't think... Because I think I'm an artiste and I've got loads of new material that no one wants to hear. I just don't want look old don't they look terrible yeah but I'm not I don't want to not do Ramble Live shows because I don't think because I think I'm an artiste and I've got loads of new material that no one wants to hear

I just don't want to do it I'm fine to sit up at the desk and watch you run around like a maniac for an hour it's fine much worse Friday nights

than that in my time yeah you're right actually I mean like I was doing a fucking kip up from the floor a year and a half because it's Bournemouth that's why it's funny I don't want to be the one to break this to you but that's why it's funny I was doing a fucking kip-up from the floor a year and a half ago. It's bonkers.

That's why it's funny. I don't want to be the one to break this to you, but that's why it's funny. Yeah. No one's looking at you doing that. For those who are listening, we've been to a Rambo Live show. You're on your back and trying to flip up like Karate Kid,

but you can't do it. No one's watching that going, oh, he normally does it. It's not what's happening there. What a botch. What a thought break. Kid's done a botch. Yeah. So that sounds pretty eventful so did you have like a regretful like a hangover like punctuated by regret with the next day but you couldn't get out of there quick enough in

the morning could you uh no i slept in about uh 12 but you've got a helicopter out there the problem the problem is you're like, I'm sure Anstis did, but, but yeah, I was like, I mean, you can't, you can't drive still drunk,

so you really have to sort of sleep in. My friend who was in the Navy, he was very drunk at about one o'clock when he went to bed and, and he was up at about six o'clock. I'm fairly certain he shouldn't have been on the roads, to be quite frank.

So, yeah. No, fair enough. Well, you shouldn't be doing that, Peter. And obviously we'd like to distance ourselves from that behavior.

I mean, I've geographically distanced myself as much as I can. I wasn't even there. I didn't even know it was happening. Speaking of bad driving, sounds like you've had a great weekend. Yeah, great segue, by the way. Thanks, mate. That's why they gave me the moderate bucks. Yeah, excellent.

You should have done a little pop-up like Karate Kid when you're delivering it. Yeah, so Saturday night, I'm sat in this very room and I'm playing PUBG, Donny. You know me. Oh, Saturday night. Dance, I like the way you groove, pretty baby. Just playing PUBG. Just doing all right.

And massive bang outside the house. So the Wi-Fi I have access to came into the room. I said, did you hear that? And I had headphones in. So I was like, oh, not really. I think it was probably just a lorry going past. And she was like, all right. Anyway, I had a look out the window anyway.

A car on its roof in the middle of the road down our, and our road is a very quiet suburban street. And a few people out there going, what the hell's going on? So I went down, have a look. And what happened was this drunk driver had torn down our very narrow street with cars parked very narrow double like double parked cars up and down everywhere the whole way down yeah yeah um he had driven down in about 70 miles an hour clipped a parked car and completely flipped his car how has he managed to do that? I can't, I've seen similar things,

but they've always been on like quite wide roads and also in films. But I don't know, how has he managed to do this? So my, I think what's happened was that next to the parked car he clipped is one of those, we have them quite a lot around there. I don't know if you have them where you are. They're like half circle,

like kind of domed bike shelters oh which you right okay yes they're basically like a dome like that and i think he probably drove up one of them cool and landed on his roof anyway like no one was hurt but he crawled out from under the car and legged it right so i went down there i just never understand why that's ever an option they know like all right you might be able to escape a parking ticket by moving house a few times but like getting out of a flipped car and just legging it well i think his rationale was that um because he was drunk yeah he'd already been banned from driving i later found out because the police officer who was very forthcoming with information which i appreciate appreciate. You know me. I was straight in there with my interview techniques.

Because I think even then, not that I was like this, but I think he's not going to arrest me, is he? He's got other stuff going on. So unless I perform a heinous crime right in front of him, he ain't going to flip his priority to me. So I just asked him questions. Anyway, a few people were asking him questions. Anyway, I think probably what he thought was, if I get away with this and they can't find me for a day i'm not going to be

a breath test yeah i'll be sober then yeah so anyway so he run off i i said oh i said to the to the guys oh do you want me to move my car because you know you're going to need to tow this car and it's going to be hassle so if people move their cars you have a bit more space so i moved my car yeah and before it could all get blocked off. Parked it down the road in the direction the guy had run off from. But I didn't properly see him because I got down there too late. As I was parking my car, he was standing in a hedge, like mumbling to himself.

What? Yeah. The guy? Yeah. So I walked across the road just to see if I could get a better look at him. And he started legging it back towards the car crash. Right? And I think...

You got turned around. Because obviously he was drunk. Yeah. I don't think he was thinking straight, to say the least. I forgot my keys. I forgot my phone. I think he wanted to go to the car to get something out of it. But obviously the police were there.

So they just grabbed him and arrested him. It was just the worst crime ever. It was like, you know, when you come back from the pub in the middle of the night and you see like road wars on TV and the voiceover guy's going, look at this idiot

returning to the scene of the crime. He gets arrested. He gets nicked straight away. It was basically exactly like that. That's wonderful. The street was a buzz, mate. Absolutely a buzz. I can only compare it

to one time, Finsbury Park. I used to live right next to the Hamza Mosque. And over the road, this guy had just, I presume, pissed, drove the car into metal shutters in front of a shop. And it sort of deformed the shutters a bit. And it was a bit of a bang and I was watching it. And this guy was like, he couldn't sort of back, he tried to sort of deformed the shutters a bit. And it was a bit of a bang, and I was watching it.

And this guy was like, he couldn't sort of back, he tried to sort of drive back, and then he did it again. And the man who lived above the shop was like, opened the window, was going, well, I've just taken a picture of you. We know what car did it, so you may as well, you're going to be in trouble, aren't you? And the bloke was going, I don't care.

And he did a third hit and managed to drive off. It was insane. But yeah, because your road, again, not been there, but it looks very quiet. I can see out your window now. The building over the road, it's very close. So it just looks like a suburban street. How did he manage to pick up 70 miles a bloody hour? I don't know. But but apparently i'm not a member of the whatsapp group for the street i refuse to join it

but the wi-fi i've accessed two years and she said that um it's all kicking off now talking about getting speed bumps it's the most drama that's happened speed bumps it's like it's a pissed block that's gonna stop him he's already proved that he likes a speed bump i was i was saying to her if anything i think you can make an argument that a speed bump would have made him go even higher in the air. Yeah, and look, if he'd had a couple of bumps, might have sobered him up a bit. It's the most drama there's ever been on our street

since my next-door neighbour, Chris, who I was a big fan of, who's now moved, sadly, said to a builder across the street, if he didn't shut his fucking noise up, he was going to go over there and kick his head in. Which I really enjoyed becauseris was absolutely objectively hard but he was also knew he was going into a lion's den of about four builders but didn't back down and they were perturbed by that they were like this guy he wants to fight he's got something yeah we've got weapons and numbers but he wants to fight us so we don't know what to do we've got a lifetime we've got we've got the backs of laborers we could survive a lot of punches wow so the reason i also liked it is

because it actually worked and it stopped them making so much noise quite late at night i think he was doing it because his kids were trying to sleep and they were literally right they were like 9 30 at night that's bad that's the only other drama we've really had down this street to be to be honest so it was it was pretty uh pretty full-on um and fair play i mean he's behaved appallingly and he's very very fortunate not to have killed someone and he will probably be inside as we record this because he's already been barred from driving um but i will say a personal thanks to him for returning to the scene of the crime and saving me having to do any kind of witness statement or paperwork, you know, because I don't want to be involved in that.

So it's a bonus that that happened. And like I say, no one got hurt, which is quite fortunate really, because he drove up with such force that he knocked a couple of cars right fully up onto the pavement. And it was peak like walking home from the pub time. What car was it? A Vauxhall Corsa, silver. Are they solid, those things?

Are they big? Because I just don't think I'd be able to do any damage with my Fiat 500. Small one. It's bigger than the Fiat 500. Right. Because that is an excuse of a car, that. How dare you?

It's like a skateboard. I have got a red made.com sofa from a few years ago sat in the garden. And I keep on planning to set to tape it what do you call it strap it to the roof of my car to take it to the tip but I just don't think

the car's big enough I think I speak on behalf of the whole Luke and Peach community I don't want you to do that like Mr Bean yeah and exactly right Mr Bean is notably

a slapstick farce I won't be stopping I don't really want it if that's the tv show it's gonna be like that's probably a pretty good model of working that we should do something if i were to do this what tv show would it be like if the answer is mr bean don't do it if it's night rider do it then definitely do it um and the only other thing that happened to me at the weekend was i went um the wi-fi i've access to and me went to Dulwich Hamlet, our local football team, to watch a game. Oh, yes. Did you have some delicious...

Wasn't there some absolutely delicious food? Well, I can't tell you. Scallions. I can't tell you because I'm not joking when I say I reckon 1,000 people were turned away at the gate. Why? It was so busy that they've only got a capacity of 3,000. There was a queue snaking for about half a mile

of people trying to get in. So what's going on? It's just really popular. I think because it was international break, I guess people just wanted to go there. So instead we went to a cheesemonger. Bought some cheese. Oh, well, there you go.

Similar kind of day out. Any particular brand? Any particular flavour? Any particular consistency? and a very ripe Lincolnshire. Oh, I don't really know what that is. It's nice. And the Parmesan was obviously because,

yeah, you stick it on the old pasta. But because Mimi's Italian, she will have pasta just sliced up and put on crackers. Yeah, I'd have that. It's a lovely, strong, potent cheese. I'm a big fan of sliced. Yeah, sliced Parmesan is better than powdered Parmesan, isn't it? Yeah, this is fresh, mate.

This is the real deal, properly fresh. Pete, should we have a little break and then come back? Have a little break. Let's have a little break then. And then we'll be back in the set and we'll do some emails that you've sent in very kindly very kindly

Toby Anstis Hi I'm Flo Lloyd-Hughes I'm Rachel O'Sullivan and I'm Chloe Morgan join us every week on our brand new show Upfront on Football Ramble Presents

we'll get stuck into the biggest stories of women's football every Tuesday from the latest in the wsl gareth taylor said oh well actually we were playing three four three and we moved to four four three three if you look at any of the footage if you look at the way the players played in that first

half there were four players playing at the back that sort of comment speaks of a manager who doesn't quite know what they're doing to how the lionesses are shaping up ahead of a manager who doesn't quite know what they're doing. To how the Lionesses are shaping up ahead of a home Euros next summer. For me, I would pick Leah Williamson. I would just go for it now. For a younger age captain, you've got some big tournaments coming up. I think a lot of players think she's got a really great mentality, gets on with a lot of people. For me, she's a born leader,

and I think she will be England captain at some point. And what it's really like being a player in women's football today. From my own experiences of being in a situation like that, I mean, you know, when we got promoted when I was with Spurs, that was phenomenal. I was, you know, first choice keeper, you know, then you go into the WSL for our first season and all I wanted to do was get WSL experience. Join us every Tuesday for Upfront. Search Football Ramble Presents in your podcast app. Subscribe now. Football Ramble Presents is a Stack production. Toby Anstis, good night.

This is the Luke and Pete Show. If you want to get to the show, hello at lukenpeetshow.com is the way to do it. We've had some emails in and we've had an email from Andrew. Do you want to bash that one out, Loki? Because I know you're a fan of beans and their constituent flavours. What an intro. Do you remember when that guy did

that Jessica Ennis goodnight? Yeah, Otis from the Gadget Show. Jessica Ennis, goodnight. Do you feel bad, like, taking the piss out of him for that because TV presenting is hard? TV presenting is hard but I think working with an earpiece is quite difficult

anyway I've got enough voices in my head I don't need more yeah someone told me though someone I won't name because I don't want to embarrass them but a friend of both of ours I'll name him

told me I won't he refused to have an autocue yeah yeah I just anyway anyway we're getting sidetracked

what happened to Lionel Blair he's dead our friend Lionel Blair what he's dead. Our friend Lionel Blair. What? He's dead. Oh, no. How old was he? He was quite old, wasn't he?

He was like 96, 95? No, he can't be that old. That's no age. No age. Queen's got a bad back, hasn't she? Yeah. So Lionel Blair died aged 92. 92.

That's a good innings. That's a good innings for a dancer. Did you know that he was born in Canada? I don't know why. This is so boring Canada I don't know why this is so boring I don't know why I said that so boring did you know that Lionel Blair was born in Canada

that's the worst thing you wanna go I've ever said as a broadcaster do you wanna go do you wanna go to do you wanna go aircast with that

can you get our show sponsored please we're dropping such truth bombs as did you know Lionel Blair is from Canada? Get all the commercial people around in the big meeting. Stand up in front of them with a presentation. Hit the audio button.

Did you know Lionel Blair was born in Canada? Thank you very much. Guys, we've got the Blair files. Wow, really? The Blair dossier. What, WMDs? Nah. WM dancing

yeah yeah anyway Andrew Andrew's been in touch and the email title is angry

ramekin of beans gentlemen I feel compelled after 10 years plus of listening to finally contact you a ramekin of beans while adding extra tableware

to a full English offers the option of choice. This is obviously referring to the sad, strange death of the full English breakfast that we talked about last week. Andrew goes on to say, some wish for their beans to mix in with all their other items, bacon, sausages, hash browns, et cetera. However, the rise of the fuss of the eater has led to many now wishing

to choose which items they're being touched. If any, the ramekin can be poured onto the plate wherever the consumer wishes to quote alan partridge himself etc etc don't go for that again we all know that one um thank you for considering my email and opinion in fairness my anger has now dissipated slightly uh best wishes andrew top tier football ramble Patreon member and live show attendee. No new players, Duracell household. Thank you very much for tidying up the ad at the end, Andrew. I get that, but here's what I think about it. And bear with me here, Andrew.

The beans have no particular reason that I can think of to be treated differently. If you go down the road of taking a traditional meal and saying one particular item has got to be treated differently. To me, it feels a bit like chaos. I mean, if you had a full English,

I'm sorry, a full roast Sunday roast, and they served up, I don't know the carrots in a ramekin or a Yorkshire pudding in a ramekin. I mean, what is the point of that? The idea would be, and the response would probably be, well, beans are wet. Well, eggs can be wet.

You know? Eggs can be wet. Do you know what I mean? The tomatoes can be wet if they're from a tin. Let's not get into the whole tin tomatoes and the full English debate. But what I'm saying is there are other options there that are wet. I don't know why we're bringing a ramekin into it. Pete, rescue me here.

What do you think? I think that if you are that offended about beans touching any item on your plate, just you need an emotional breakwater, so to speak, between bites of beans and bites of, I don't know, a sausage or a hash brown or whatever. Because I'm not a big beans fan.

I can understand where people are coming from a little. I'm not a beansman, a beans nutist. Yeah, I do understand that because I don't necessarily like beans. But you need that kind. You know like cheap Japanese sushi always comes with a packet of wasabi, always comes out with a packet of a little fish-shaped soy sauce packet and usually a little spr shaped soy sauce packet and um usually a little sprig of like ginger basically yeah and uh and you're in a situation where uh you eat the ginger

in between courses or you eat to kind of freshen the palate so palate cleanser sort of thing so i think you need to incorporate something like that take a swig of vinegar to get rid of the bean flavor before you have the sausage if you're that bothered about it otherwise just get your beans all over the place and stop being an absolute silly yeah and for those who can't see peter which is everyone apart from me he is making this point forcefully with an alan key so that is how seriously he takes it and what i would say is this you know what and andrew's being fairly controversial there but he's made his point and he's very welcome to do so. I would applaud the Luke and Pete show community

because we've not received a single email talking about having chips in a full English because that is a big no-no. And I don't know anyone who's worthy of an opinion, who's worth their salt, who is campaigning for having chips and a full English, yet, yet, proprietors all over the country still insist on serving them up with it.

And I think it's a disgrace. And I would like to see it outlawed personally. Where do you stand on, it's not Freedom Fries, is it? What's the potatoes you get in America? Home fries. Home fries. They're good. They're great.

They're like little roast potatoes, aren't they? I'd have lemon in them. Yeah. I mean, if you get a good portion of home fries. Home fries. They're good. They're great. They're like little roast potatoes, aren't they? I'd have lemon in them. Some onions in there. Yeah. I mean, if you get a good portion of home fries, it is an absolute revelation. I don't know why they haven't taken off here. No.

But last time I went to Denny's, it was very disappointing. The chef at Denny's was really poor. He or she had obviously cooked the hash brown that they're famous for, which is basically like a potato rosti in Denny's, on too high a heat. So it was quite charredred on the outside but not at all cooked on the inside and i just think to myself you're cooking basically that hash brown with every single order at denny's you should really be getting that right i mean it comes with pretty much everything so to me it feels a bit like getting the fries wrong at mcdonald's it just doesn't happen you've got to standardise this stuff.

You've got to have some self-respect. You have. You have. So that's been your show for your Monday. I do hope you enjoyed it. We're going to be back on Thursday for more of this battery chat. Beans and boys have a cracking evening, afternoon, whenever you choose

to listen to this between now and Thursday. You can listen to it at any time. I'm not being prescriptive. You might be starting... I've heard of people who certainly are like Wrestle Me and Abroad in Japan. They've started at the start of the show and then just gone forward incrementally

or just gone like absolute chaos fractal jazz theory and just done all kinds of ones, dipping in here and there. How do you think the best experience would be if you're new to the Luke and Pete show would you say that you're just dipping in and out

or would you go start from the beginning you've got to listen to every single one of them because it's a standalone show each week yeah no I think that

yeah I would start press on me I can see where you'd need to start from the start yeah I would start start at the start and then take it away my name is

Simpson Bartholomew J that's Bart with an R and a capital B and Simp plus S-O-N that's me there is yeah I think there's something you said for that don't follow that up just fucking leave it Bartholomew J. That's Bart with an R and a capital B and Sim plus S-O-N. That's me. There is, yeah, I think there's something

we said for that. Don't fire that up. Just fucking leave it. Put your Allen key away and just walk out. They're not even perfect. What were we doing last time? It was a professional level

or dad's professional level Allen keys. A listener's dad turned up with his own Allen keys that he'd bought and not taken them free with a flat pack. Professional Allen key.

Oy, oy, oy. Look, doesn't matter. Let's get out of here. We'll be back on Thursday. Look after yourselves. And send us an email for crying out loud. We live for them. Helloatlintpcho.com

and get in touch via Twitter. See you later. Oh, sorry, Matt. I thought you were just doing the outro. I didn't know you had to say goodbye. I thought you were just looking at your cuff. I splashed a toothpaste to lock my jumper this morning it's just

it's just an image of like awesomeness us doing it on a Monday just two fucking bears that have just been walking up and I've got sticks up me bum ta ta the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network