The Luke and Pete Show - ‘Diggory’ Mills, the snake-catcher

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Luke has discovered the 19th-century version of Pete Donaldson. You’ll never guess his profession…Pete then airs his dirty laundry with Luke following comments about his clothes, Luke continues to air his dirty laundry with Thames Water, and both lads air their dirty laundry with pop-punk covers.Have any dirty laundry to air? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're just two sexy boys Sexy boys It's the Luke and Pete show It is Thursday the 6th of February My name is Pete Donaldson I nearly said my name is Luke Moore there What's going on? You did that in the ramble

You nearly said Pete Donaldson I did My name's Brasher Mills The snake catcher Whoa Is that the guy who lived in a national park and caught snakes for money? Yeah. Yeah.

It's cool, right? It's not bad. I would just need to know. He seemed to be a man. You sent me a link last night, and I very much enjoyed the story. And it's kind of just a man who... Shall I read the story? Yeah, go on.

Okay, right. Well, hello, everyone. Hello, hi. I wanted to say hi. I don't want to bombard people with some absolute top level premium content straight out the gate.

Sometimes I think people need to be eased into it. They do yeah. Settle in. Like when you go to a nice restaurant they don't just say

bang main course. Yeah I think I think that's hitting people with content just a really good way to get a UTI this early.

It's just kind of like oh fuck it burns I need to be eased into the bath and take a piss afterwards take a piss afterwards yeah exactly

so the content based around Brusher Mills is as follows this is from the New Forest National Parks website

don't ask why I was on it can't remember but it's a guy called Brusher Mills who lived from 1840 to 1905 and grew up in the village of Emery Down and worked as a labourer.

But in his 40s, he moved into an old charcoal burner's hut in the woodlands near Brockenhurst and took up catching snakes for a living. So armed with a forked stick and a sack, he set about ridding local properties of grass snakes and adders. He sent some to London zoos, food for the birds of prey, and used others to make ointments to treat snake bites and other ailments.

It is thought that he caught around 30,000 snakes during his 18 years as a snake catcher. These days, he would have to choose a different professional path because all the New Forest reptiles are, of course, are under special protection these days. But he was given the brush and nickname

because he used to sweep the cricket pitch at Balmer Lawn between innings whenever a match was played. A simple man who loved a simple life. He lived contentedly, Pete, in his mud hut in the New Forest, apart from a spell in the workhouse because he caught the flu,

which they don't go into detail on. That's the last person you want to put someone with flu, isn't it? Yeah, I always forget what the deal was with workhouses and free medicine. I think it was something to do with the work, if you wanted the medicine. I don't know. I'm probably wrong on that one. Look at the latest Tory manifesto you've probably seen. So Brusher was a popular catcher in Brockenhurst,

who regularly enjoyed a drink at the railway inn, which is now named the Snake Catcher in his honour. I'm sure it's a lovely pub, the Snake Catcher in Brockenhurst. And he was a popular tourist attraction at the local fairs. He was distraught though towards the end of his life because his hut was vandalised and he was left homeless. And then

he ended up living in an outbuilding at his favourite hostelry. Yeah. And died not long afterwards. Living in an outbuilding in a hostelry, that's lovely stuff. Levengem and Mr Pete Dawson. The reason I wanted to bring that to the table was a fascinating story about a guy who, you know, of a time that's

no longer with us. You know, those days are gone now, the late 19th century. But he had the same, weirdly, just had the same energy as you. Like a 19th century energy, Pete Dawson. I can definitely see yourself, see you in the 19th century being a bit of a kind of

roustabout type, itinerant type, schemer, if you know what I mean. Yeah. I'm not saying it'd be snake catching. It could be... I think it'd need to be something a bit more technologically advanced. What would it be for that period?

It'd be steampunk. Spinning Jenny, Obsessive. Talks about him. He doesn't own one. Talks about it a lot. Oh, what? Pete, the guy with the cotton gin? Could be that, couldn't it?

Could be that. I think it's a lovely idea, just sort of a man who, in your words, cuts about. But it's a lonely life, isn't it? And it sounds like he had a great time on the land. And apparently, as I said, his house got vandalised. Yeah.

Just kids, though, isn't it? Is it kids? But then they said that it might have been somebody who owned the land that didn't want him to have squatter's rights when squatter's rights came in. Oh, so basically he'd been there so long, they were like, get rid of him. Yeah. But he's a simple man. He only needs a little bit of land.

He lived in what sounds like a little shed in a pub. Well, the Victorian era was obviously a very harsh era, but you'd have to have a very hard heart indeed to deny Brusher Mills his heart. Yeah. His Victorian mud heart. Just let him have a little mud heart for crying out loud. It's hardly grand designs, is it?

No, it's not. And you read, television wouldn't have become him for a very long time after that, but you read that biog there, there and you think that sounds like a pretty nice life sweeping the cricket lawn catching the snakes knocking about in nature my question to you though is in reality is that a good like would that be nice well it's just nice that he reinvented himself in his 40s there's hope for all of us true True, actually. So if you do a pivot now, get yourself down to the

new forest. Well, there's snakes on Two Tree Island in Essex near where I live. What kind of snakes do you know? I think it might be adders, you know? Adders are the ones that you know. I don't know, actually. I think it might be adders, isn't it? They're poisonous, aren't they? Well, you get adders in Epping Forest, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think

they're venomous, actually, Peter, but I know what you meant. Okay. Adders, yes. There has been an increased sightings of adders around Lee-on-Sea. This adder was spotted at the bottom of Lee Steps

in the Brilton Hills Nature Reserve. They are... They're just cutting about. That's really near my house. Or not. So they are venomous. They're not the only snakes living around there.

They're not... They are venomous, but're not the only snakes living around there. They are venomous, but to the point of where I think if you got bitten by one, you'd probably be okay. Okay. I think it's a small charge where an elderly person doesn't get medical attention quickly enough. Right. We're not talking about, you know, black mamba stuff here. No.

We're not talking about high levels of neurotoxins. But can't you survive every bite if you get seen quickly enough? I think there are some spiders and snakes that it's pretty much curtains. Because apparently in the UK there are people with venom, and I've probably spoken about this before. This is an interesting little quirk. They've got anti-venom in certain sites around the UK, but they are 25 miles away from different parts of the country

so that they can be served very quickly. Oh, nice. So you go, Dave, it's been an adder bite. We need some of the anti-venom for the adder to turn up. But if, I think there are some, I think it's the black mamba. Forgive me if this is wrong, but I think the black mamba is a very potent neurotoxin. Nightclub.

I think the only way you can get through it is if dance it off is if you get to a ventilator quick enough and wait for it to wear off right there hasn't been

there hasn't been a developed anti-venom for it so your lungs just your lungs just go nah well there was there was a story nah mate

I think I mentioned it on the show many years ago but there was a story of a guy who essentially had a version of locked in syndrome because he got bitten by a black man but he was still conscious yeah um it seemed like a lot of locked in syndrome because he got bitten by a black man but he was

still conscious yeah sounds like a lot of fun he could hear his family debating whether to turn his life support

machine off or not and they didn't they didn't in the end he was fine he worked his way through it but I mean that's kind of what you're dealing

with I don't think you're getting that from an adder in Leon C no what about that what about the snake that they

that Jake the Snake got to bite Macho Man Randy Savage with it was really horrible so Jake the Snake got to bite Macho Man Randy Savage with? It was really horrible. So Jake the Snake must have got bitten a load of times over the years. I guess so, yeah.

He was banned from having snakes for quite a while when he lived in St Albans. Just don't give an alcoholic a snake. First of all, what are you doing in St Albans? Secondly, if it involves putting a snake in a sack and chucking him into the middle of a wrestling ring in front of 60,000 people, that snake should not be there.

I see so much of that on Instagram now. I don't think people fully appreciate what they're putting the animals through. There's a load of quirky, cutesy, adventurous cat Instagram accounts. Oh, look at my cat surfing. Yeah, the cat doesn't want to fucking be there. No.

If you know anything about... Doesn't want to be in the sea. Cat behaviour. Like me account. Right. Oh, look at my cat surfing. Yeah, the cat doesn't want to fucking be there. No. If you know anything about... Doesn't want to be in the sea. Cat behaviour. Like me now. Yeah, well, we'll come on to that in a minute, actually. A cat who's crouching close to the ground, ears flat, tail down, looking terrified, isn't enjoying your fucking surfing trip, mate.

No. He's not supposed to be there. So it's not cute, it's fucking cruel, is what it is. Everybody going surfing, surfing with my cat. I'm back on board. If that's the soundtrack, I'm back on board. Yeah, all right, fine. there so it's not cute it's fucking cruel is what it is everybody going to fint something with my cat I'm back on board if that's the soundtrack I'm back

on board speaking of you you've presumably recovered from your near drowning psychologically do you feel better about it or

no no when I think about it I don't like it no because you said that you said the further it gets away from it the more

yeah it's better yeah I can laugh and joke about it send you a video of the big waves at the weekend and then refuse to let me share it stop putting it on social media because Sarah it will kill me Yeah, it's better. Yeah, I can laugh and joke about it. I sent you a video of the big waves at the weekend. Yeah, and then refused to let me share it. Just not put it on social media.

Yeah. Because Sarah, it will kill me. Fair enough. And have you heard from Abraham? Not heard from Abraham. I'm sure. Is he very online or not really? I don't know.

Well, the woman who, the American lady who said she was praying for me, said that she's been taking pictures of Abraham all week and sending it to her girlfriends because he's so hot. Right. How's that meant to help you exactly? Well, he helped me in the only way he could. Yeah, it's true actually. In the only language he knew.

The shared language you had. Shouting at me in the sea. The language of life and death. A lot of people on Twitter, on our Atlu Compete Show Twitter account, it kind life and death a lot of people on Twitter on our at Luke and Pete show Twitter account it kind of resonated with a lot of people and we had a massive week for downloads

yeah so maybe you should think about putting yourself in perilous positions I never know when you sort of see shows that

have added on a few listeners every week in the old set up you do sort of go well they didn't know we were going to talk about that so it's almost like it's whether they stick around in it

i think it's when i think it's if something resonates with people they maybe tell their mates or something oh you reckon yeah i think i'll do that but i was also particularly pleased with the the tweet we got from our friend jeff right who i i basically posted a tweet saying um thanks very much for supporting us you know and um and Pete's fine and all the rest of it. Essentially... Well... Well... I guess kind of thinly veiled reference

to your near-death experience. But very much talking about a near-death experience. And Geoff replied, with the number of times I've laughed out loud in public listening to you both, I've lost count. Well, it's not what we're going for really with Pete almost dying.

I mean, that was very much a true story. Yeah. Well, they're all true stories. No lies on this podcast. Well, it's not what we're going for really with Pete almost dying. I mean, that was very much a true story. Yeah. Well, they're all true stories. No lies on this podcast. No, exactly. Absolutely not.

So you haven't heard from Abraham? I haven't heard from Abraham, no. He never writes. I'd love to do a special with him. Yeah.

Would it be cathartic for you? No, it'd still be upsetting. Yeah, it'd still be upsetting. A catharsis can be upsetting, can't it?

I guess so, yeah, for a bit. It's like anti-venom there's a kind of point for it if I just had anti-venom with no venom inside me I think my body would try and

it wouldn't have a good time no definitely not and when we were talking the other day about you being it's like noise cancelling headphones when we were talking the other day about

you for some reason we got into a whatsapp conversation you and I about you not having any hair on your body yeah

and I said that you were like a dolphin smooth like a dolphin i realized that could have been construed as like a dig but i didn't mean it as that because i'm a dolphin boy dolphin would never drown would it oh i didn't know i didn't i didn't even clock that to be honest that's sort of thoughts i have luke you're letting yourself down there i should be more yeah you're getting old what do you second guess everything you sent? Oh, yeah. What kind of thing? I thought about... I think about a lot of stuff. When we were in America and you were slagging off my trousers

that were very... My penis was very, very visible. Yeah, I mean, can I just say, the way you're framing that is making me sound like a horrific bully. You are a horrific bully. But those, come on. They were tighter than I... I'd put on a bit of weight and I hadn't realised.

New York had not seen those trousers since Studio fucking 54. Let's be absolutely clear. They were very graphic. You could basically see the outline of your cock. Yeah, they were very graphic. And I just mentioned that. No, you, no, you, through a two-day period, you mentioned them every hour. It was your favourite thing to talk about.

My tight trousers. The favourite thing to talk about was when you were wearing those tight trousers, walking down a road in Manhattan, next to a sex worker, and essentially you looked, both looked like Hugh Grant and Devine Brown. It was so good.

That is the best thing you've ever said. Yeah. I laughed for ages. Yeah. Yeah. That was partly trousers, so you enjoyed it. I enjoyed that. Anyway, what were your second guesses?

No, no. I'd hate to think you'd never worn them again. That would be awful for me if you'd never worn them since. I wore them for the rest of the time I was in America, I think. But yeah. No, I've not worn them ever since. I mean, they are. You must have known how tight they were.

I did when I put them on. I was like, fucking hell. When you bought them, did you try them on? Yeah, but I was a thinner man then. Oh, okay, right. I did when I put them on. I was like, fucking hell. When you bought them, did you try them on? Yeah, but I was a thinner man then. Oh, okay, right. I've gone to seed, Luke. Oh, no, I respect. You don't understand.

I respect that you're raging against the dark. I had to see all my business. It was really horrific. But I said, he was mocking me for wearing a suit and very tight trousers. Mocking is hot. In very hot weather. Yeah.

And it was a mistake. It was a mistake. But I wanted to dress nice for the meetings. And I said, Luke, you have literally told me that on this show that the only reason why you don't wear a suit jacket anymore is because you got a bit more broad, right? And you've not updated your suits. Let's make it clear, because I've put on a lot of weight.

No, but you said it on this show. And I said that. And you went, oh, oh, he's rude, isn't he? And I was like, no, you've been talking to me all day about my trousers. And then I say one thing back. But didn't you say it in the meeting? No, I didn't say it in the meeting. I said it outside the, what do you call that?

The Flatiron building. Not that you remember. You know, what time of day was it? 3.54 p.m. But I thought about it for ages. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. No, but I get upset about people thinking

that I'm awful. I think, to be honest, that ship has sailed now, hasn't it? What do you mean? You've been awful. Oh, you are awful. I find it particularly tough to take that on the same day, you are

showing me videos of you screaming Papa Roach karaoke sessions in the middle of the day. Yeah. And then saying to me, it's not great that people think I'm awful. Well, don't do it then. Don't do the awful things. There's nothing not awful about screaming Papa Roach karaoke in a small room. Well, I just said we'd exhausted all of the standards and I thought, let's go off the reservation. Okay. Let's have some paparazzi.

What are the standards for you? I mean, it's just the usual ones, isn't it? Erasure, a little respect, all those ones, the ones that everybody likes. And then you go, let's fucking shake this up, grandad. Shake this tree. Have you ever seen someone earnestly try and do a little respect

by erasure? And do it? I think A Little Respect is quite good for a karaoke song because people with quite high voices, usually the females in the room can sing the high bit

and the people with deeper voices can sing it in a lower register. It's perfect. Yeah. For me, the karaoke thing

is you have to, you have to do it as a bit of fun. Right. You can't take it seriously. I don't think so. Hmm. We, we,

we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we,

we, we, I think people who do, um, raps as their only song is people who disappoint me. Yeah. Cause they lack the courage to commit to proper karaoke. Exactly.

It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like going into, you know, go on the dance floor, agreeing to go on the dance floor and then just only ironically

busting out a robot. Like, fuck off. Fucking get involved or don't. Me and Sarah have been having a pitched battle about a karaoke choice that she made on our last trip to karaoke.

Was it a jewel? You were made for me? You were meant for me. I know the song. I'm a bit of a singer but I know what it is. I mean, Sarah very much can sing it. She's a good singer,

but she sang it and I made an offhand comment that said that I just think it brought the mood down a little bit. Yeah, to be fair, I can see that. Yeah, and it's been mentioned about, you know, three times a week since. Well, she was obviously proud of her performance.

It was a fantastic performance. I'm just saying it's not a karaoke song. It's not a karaoke song, though. Did you say that was a fantastic performance, but the energy's gone out the room. You've sucked the energy

out of the room. I do think there's a time to be said about that. Yeah. I think you need to keep... Let's dance, David Boy. Classic. Fine.

I'd love to see you do that. I'm quite good at it. I'd probably throw my knickers at you. I don't... I've got a general rule about boy bands. I'm not wearing any see you doing that. I'm quite good at it. I'd probably throw my knickers at you. I've got a general rule about boy bands. I'm not wearing any, you can see. My boy band rule is, I'll happily investigate further

if I hear a boy band that got a pop song out. The only thing I ask in return, because I like pop music, the only thing I ask in return is it's upbeat. I don't want to be hearing a love song. That's nice. I don't want you sat on a stool. No. I want you up. I want you up

and about. Otherwise I'm out of it. I'm not doing it. You're using your young legs. I want you using all of your young legs. And so someone like you, if you're doing karaoke in a small room, I'm assuming there's four or five people there, I'm presuming. Is there more people than that there? It's about that. Maybe about six or seven.

And then if you're sat there while someone else is doing it and say it's a partner of a friend and you don't know them that well, where are you specifically, where are your eyes going? What do you mean? Because I think you'd find it awkward. No, I think karaoke you have to maintain and create a level of drunkenness that you don't normally reach, I would say. Were you successful in that?

Ooh, yeah. And is that why you went to the paint shop with your hoods the next time? I was so pleased with going to the paint shop and they gave me trade discount because I was dressed as a dad. Dads get trade discount. A bigger boy.

Bigger boy. I look like a bigger boy. Bigger boy recognises a bigger boy. Bigger boy, exactly, yeah. Speaking of which, do you want to hear something funny about my house? You'll like this. So we're having decorators.

You were away for a bit because it was just inhospitable for a week. I went last week. Yeah, I went away last week because of that. And I was planning on doing that as a bit of content on Monday's show. So, we can't do that now. Right. Okay. I'll talk about my trip later. Okay.

But they're decorating the house. They're decorating four rooms in the house. They're decorating spare room, bedroom, living room, hallway. Yeah. Which is basically the whole house. Which is the kitchen room and the, living room, hallway. Yeah. Which is basically the whole house. It's just the kitchen room and the dining room

which are both small so there's nowhere to go. Anyway, so in the kitchen the Wi-Fi I have access to said, I'm going to give you a bit of context here.

We used to have a fridge that you could put magnets on. Right. So we went for a phase where every time we went somewhere we'd get a magnet. You used to kindly get us one as well if you went away on holiday

and you'd bring us back a magnet it was great and then we moved into a fitted fridge which had no magnetic thing so what what it's completely plastic on the front like it didn't

no it's like it's like a built-in one do you know what I mean oh so the doors right yeah yeah so your eyes

really lit up there at the technological innovation of a plastic fridge plastic fridge that sounds good wow already googling

so and the wife I've access to said that you know this is great this is like a story of all the trips we've been on so we should of a plastic fridge. A plastic fridge. That sounds good. Wow. Already Googling. And the wife I've access to said that, you know, this is great. This is like a story of all the trips we've been on, so we should keep it. She bought a big magnetic strip that's stuck on the wall with this quite aggressive adhesive, right? That's not coming off. This was a few years ago.

Yeah. Anyway, the other day she said, I'll take that off, because we want to use that wall space, because the kitchen's small, we need to use that wall space, and put them on the extractor above the oven. They'll stick on there and look good. That's a good idea. So I did that.

Cracker. I took the magnets off, put it on there. When it came to pulling the magnetic strip off, it was fucking impossible. Yeah. And I ended up pulling it off, and it was like, okay, this is going quite badly. Yeah. It's taken out cement out of the wall.

As I was pulling it off, the exceptionally talented decorator who's in the house came into the kitchen to wash the brushes. I just saw me pulling paint off the wall like I was the anti-decorator, like I was doing some kind of statement. Obviously, they also have quite poor English,decorator like I was doing some kind of statement obviously they also have quite poor English so they could only see it as some kind

of like demonstration of like you problem yeah here's a lack of respect for your trade just pulled it off ended up pulling

all the plaster off oh no and then he gave me a look like well I haven't been paid to do that bit so I'm not doing that you're stuck with that now

you do now you do now exposed concrete look in your kitchen it's great so that was that was like a to do that bit. So I'm not doing that. You're stuck with that now. You do now. You do now. Exposed concrete look in your kitchen. It's great. So that was like a Larry David moment. Nice.

And there was nothing to stop me waiting until they went home to do it. Yeah. I could have just waited. I didn't think. And I heard the footsteps

and I thought, oh God. Fuck's sake. So actually, I was on the phone to LC yesterday saying, LC,

when you come over in the summer, I've got a job for you. And he loves it all. So he was like, yeah, okay, great, I'll do that. Anyway, that's what I you come over in the summer I've got a job for you and he loves it all so he was like yeah okay great I'll do that anyway

that's what I've been doing I had such a fucking ordeal with some rising damp we spoke about it on the show before oh yeah oh by the way it's all done now

it's all fixed up so Al our listener friend Al wants an update on your rising damp issue please because he says he thinks he has

a similar problem yeah we're in a to drill these little kind of like um rising damp dealing with um sort of chemical sticks into the wall i never had to fight to fill they're good they're good they worked and they dried out all the plaster and it doesn't look like we're gonna have that problem for a little while anyway um and uh i had to put more mortar in between the

bricks because the last um person who had the house presumably just put fucking wood in it. He just saw a hole, just got a bit of wood like a little shiv and just shoved it in there. And so I filled that in there and then where the plaster comes out I had to sort of get I had to re-plaster it and I've never plastered before. I've done an alright job.

And then on top of that find get some paint mixed that were exactly the same paint and fair play at the Crown fucking paints people. They managed to match the paint almost perfectly.

You're not a far-run ball band though. Pit out my pressures but then it was all, you know, I sanded it down and painted it and then put the, put the,

put the skirting board back on the wall and then I had to cork that and then. And then someone walked in and said what are you doing in my house

and I was like I've got the wrong fucking house again well it looks absolutely spotless I'm really pleased with the performance I'll send you one

did you do a before photo pre yeah I did before and I'll give you an after send those to Big Rory

and we'll put them up there because we've genuinely had quite a lot of listeners asking about how it's going

yeah but these sticks you buy I forget what they are but they're basically sticks you buy, I forget what they are, but they're basically sticks you put in the wall, and they basically, if you do them in a line, they basically, they're chemicals, just kind of like with a capillary action, just kind of get in all of the holes in the mortar,

spreading out in a line. And it's basically like a chemical damp-proofing course. That's awesome. It's great stuff. There's things I can do these days. I like it. Maybe if Brush O'Meals had that

and his heart he wouldn't have had the problems he had. Anyway, let's have a quick break. When we come back we're going to do some battery brands

because it's a Thursday of course. I don't know if we'll get to the emails but we've got some good ones so maybe we'll get to the emails on Monday but we'll do

whatever we can the other side of this. And we're back with the second half of Thursday's edition of the Luke and Pete show, sponsored by Dry Rod Damp Proofing Rods 10 Pack, the next generation rising damp treatment from the makers of Dry Zone. So that annoys me,

because they have not paid for that. They have not paid for that. I've not even got freebies. We're giving them money for sponsorship. Terrible. But it worked. Well done them. You know what

it's rare in life that you buy something that fucking works isn't it it's getting more rare completely it's getting more rare I was thinking this the other day

I was thinking to myself just go outside wherever you live in the UK if you're in the UK I can't speak to other countries but in the UK step outside

look around you what works everything's shit where's all the money gone where's all the fucking money going I had a terrible money going I read I had a terrible combination where

I read a news headline that said that Britain is the 6th biggest something economically in the world right

Willy yeah 6th biggest economic Willy in the world right and walked outside fucking our road is closed

because of potholes and fucking Thames water I'm sorry you're running back with Thames water. Amuses me terribly. They're like the Death Star. I just don't think it's normal.

It's not been normal in the 20 years I've lived in London to walk through London and just see water spouting out of the ground with a Thames water barrier around it saying, we're working on this. The only people who are investing in the infrastructure of the nation is fucking fibre broadband companies who are just putting up

fucking telegraph poles left, right and centre whether people want them or not. And they're probably just smashing the water pipes and they're doing it. Is it Clarkson of me to talk about Thames Water

all the time? It's a bit Clarkson. I don't know, but it's funny that Thames Water is such a big water company and they just seem to be, it's like they're like Water is such a big water company and they just seem to be

it's like they're like the canoe man of canoeing and I talk about the canoe man being the best canoeist

being the most famous canoeist in the world but also the worst canoeist in the world because he technically drowned so like he

and also more famous than you from Hartlepool yeah you're only just ever sneak on the podium because of

Geoff Stelling canoe man yeah and then you're third basically is when we got on the podium because of Jeff Stelling, Canoe Man. Yeah. And then you're third, basically. It's when we got on the plane back from Miami and David Cameron was on the plane. I was like, well, you know,

Sarah's not getting in the newspaper with that. No way. If it goes down. No, you probably, would you get a line at the bottom of the story, probably? I wouldn't get anything. It'd be Absolute Radio DJ Sarah Champion. Was also on board.

Was also on board. Absolute Radio DJ Sarah Champion. Was also on board. Was also on board. Absolute Radio DJ Sarah Champion and partner were also thought to be on board. Thought to be? That's what you get. Anyway, carry on. Cool. You can't remember what you said.

Where were we? Thames Water. I just think they're the most famous water company and they seem duty bound not to keep any of the water in the pipes, which is bare minimum. Yeah. It's like a child eating

a dinner. Nothing's on the plate. Nothing's in the mouth. It's all on the floor. Not in the taps. And before we get on to the batteries I just want to say.

Where's your water going? I just want to say this. We've lost an ungodly amount. It's gone back to the earth. If you privatise an

industry the whole point of the privatisation is to engender competition among customers being able to choose who they want to privatise an industry, the whole point of the privatisation is to engender competition among customers being able to choose who they want to buy the water from effectively in this situation. The competition is the thing that makes the efficiency better. Yeah. It doesn't, does it? It just hasn't.

It just hasn't. But if you privatise it and there's only one company doing it, which is basically what Thames Water is, if you live in London, you can't get your water anywhere else. Yeah. That's only one company doing it, which is basically what Thames Water is. If you live in London, you can't get your water anywhere else. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. You've essentially taken the only good thing about privatisation away.

Yeah. Let's have some Trent water. Do you know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the water people, the water workers... The water boys. ...go on strike. Follow the moon. Just join the gang.

Get on strike. What are you striking for? Nothing's happening. We want to be paid more. We want the water to stay in the pipes. Get on strike. What are you striking for? Nothing's happening. We want to be paid more. We want the water to stay in the pipes. Naughty water. Pay them in water. Pay them in bottles of water,

which I'm about to fucking walk down to the end of my street to get. On four occasions I've been living in that fucking house. Anyway, batteries. Batteries, good. Yeah, they're always trustworthy. Unless you're in cold weather. Hello, lads. After visiting my mother,

she gave me a box of electronics that I used to have in my old room. Before bringing them to be recycled, I checked the brands and found these gems. Hope some of them make it into your prestigious list. This is Richard Hamstra. Hello, Richard Hamstrad. Richard Hamstrad.

I just gave him an extra D there. AXA Alkaline Power AAA. So we're going to go for a whole list here. I guess so. Do you want to just pick out a few? Because it's very greedy, isn't it, really? AXA Alkaline Power. We've got Gamma Alkaline 1.5 Volt.

We've got Craft AA's Energies. Turbo. Teddy Power AA's, which is a lot of fun. Well, you've read them all now. Blitz AAA. Yeah, I've read them all. But it looks like Rory's only gone through them and basically checked whether they are new players.

And the vast proportion of them actually are new players. Don't show people behind the curtain. They think I'll do an important job searching for them. Well, you usually do, but I think... I'm doing them now. I think the size of this particular job was just way too large. But it sounds very much like Kraft, Energy, Turbo,

Gamma, AXA, and Teddy Power and Blitz. So I can confirm. I can confirm. AXA, Alkaline, Power are new players. Right. Gamma, Alkaline, 1.5 Volt are new players. Okay. Kraft AA are new players.

So he's three out of three so far. Yeah. Energies AA are not new players. So that's a no. He's three out of four. Turbo AA, I'm just checking those now, are also new players. So that's a no. It's three out of four. Turbo AA, I'm just checking those now, are also new players.

So that's four out of five. Teddy Power, spelled T-E-D-I, I believe. Power. I'm checking those right now. This is real-time stuff. This is action.

They are also new players. So that's five out of six. And Blitz AAA are, finally for now not new players so let's have a game on the teddy power five out of seven

five out of seven five out of seven isn't bad it's remarkable it's remarkable stuff I wonder when all of these batteries were in service

and I think your Alex Turner impression there was actually fairly good yeah there's a band apparently that do

well done Richard there's a band I wish I knew I wish I knew what the band I do know you always do this you go what's a band apparently that do... Well done, Richard. There's a band... I wish I knew what the band... I do know what the band is. You always do this. You go, what's that band? And it always turns out to be the fucking Beatles or something. Check out the band, the Raytons.

R-E-Y-T-O-N-S. They're awful. They're funny, the way that they're doing the Arctic Monkeys, though, isn't it? It's very funny. What's interesting... So this is the band, for those who don't know them or know about it, and as far

as I'm aware... I didn't know anything about them, I've seen a small clip of them, which is unfair of me to judge all of their oeuvre, because then

I had a look on YouTube and I saw some of their oeuvre and I was like, wow, this is terrific. So the music's not very good, in my

view, but they've done what they've done, rising to the top of the album charts, I believe, in the UK, without any radio play or label support.

They're basically doing what the Arctic Monkeys threatened to do on a far lower scale, while essentially, I guess, doing a poor version of the Arctic Monkeys, I suppose, is what you're alluding to, isn't it? I think so, yeah. But it's weird because the support they have got has come from some quite big people on Twitter, like

James O'Brien, randomly, who I think likes the idea of what they're doing. Right. He's supporting them. Okay. He's got like a million Twitter followers or whatever. And they're able to do the things that, all the things you'd look for when I worked in

music back in the day, the things that the A&R people would look for would be like, what was interesting was that a lot of the bands, because that was around the time, Pete, when bands were massive, weren't they? It was like a lot of the bands because that was around the time peak when bands were massive weren't they it was like a big thing and what i think indie bands thought was important was can we look good and can we do you know songs that people like but actually what was the most important thing to our people in my experience was they would just go to that band's hometown and say can they sell out the biggest venue in their hometown yes if you ask that's no they're just they're just they're not interested no right not fucking not. And if you ask if that's no, they're just...

They're not interested. No. Right. Not worth it. It's no point. What's the point? And the raters have done that very, very well, from what I can see.

But it's not really my cup of tea. I mean, I'm fucking 42, for God's sake. The only thing that could make them less cool would be for me and you to start liking it. And you know our friend Noah, who sent us the battery, Daddy, by the way? Yes. He's sending us some Prime.

Oh, he really didn't have to do that. I told him that. I said to him, you don't have to do this, Noah, but he insisted upon it. Noah. So that's incoming. That's inbound. Noah and the Whale of Kindness. They burned bright, didn't they?

Noah. That song. Five Years Time. Yeah. Took my girlfriend at the time to go see them at the Roundhouse. Roundhouse? Yeah. We're in the Roundhouse?

which I think is probably the best live venue in London I think it's very good when I saw Phoenix play there they did that cool thing with the big sheet

you know when bands do the big sheet and then they start and it drops and it's like yes the big sheet is down now the gig can commence I think every gig

should have that yeah it's an event isn't it it's an event I think they should have several sheets they should introduce one person each time they're like the lead singer no the drum it's like a three-ply like a big old toilet exactly so you it's like the the dance of the

seven veils or whatever like you'll get you'll get one sheet down one sheet down one sheet down until the whole band are revealed the band after polyphonic spray it's gonna take a whole gig yeah and they're wearing sheets yeah exactly um so the band have to stand in Polyphonic spray. It's going to take a whole gig. Yeah. And they're wearing sheets, obviously. Yeah, exactly. So the band have to stand in depth. Yes. So the first sheet comes down and there's one member and they're doing their thing.

The problem is you're always going to start with the lead singer, aren't you? Or maybe the lead guitarist. It's kind of like... Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised you went

to go see Phoenix. Why? I just... I don't know. I tried... Jakutla Phoenix? Pete, as ever, I'm now trying to think of a way of saying something that doesn't make me sound like a massive snob or a bully.

Okay, all right. Your music taste is generally quite poor. It's just not very eclectic. Every gig you go to, you're thinking, I wish this was... I wish this was a take my Sunday. Actually, I don't. They're notably awful at their jobs. What about...

So obviously the wife I have access to is a massive pop punk fan. And when we drove back from our trip last week, actually I don't they're notably awful at their jobs what about so obviously the wife I have access to is a massive pop punk fan and when we drove back from our trip last week she was on the DJ reins

and we had New Found Glory yeah nice we had Fall Out Boy a bit after your time maybe yeah yeah yeah we had

Dropkick but they were Dropkick Mavs I mean like I would say that the first two they were massive in American America College Radio kind of vibes you know what I mean, I would say that the first two, they were massive in American college radio kind of vibes.

You know what I mean? So like absolutely huge. One thing that's interesting to me about that kind of music around that. So I know we're going to cross a few years here, really. So I'm not being that specific. But I always think that whenever I hear American emo pop of that nature, particularly maybe, is it particularly Newfound Glory? Maybe not, but anyway,

they've all got their own little fucking things because, of course, like, Fall Out Boy are much more emo than, say, Newfound Glory are a lot more pop punk and Sum 41 are even poppier. Dropkick Murphy's a kind of Irish Celtic punk. Yeah, yeah, like old school. But they all sound, in aesthetic and energy,

exactly the same to me as Hundred Reasons. Do you remember Hundred Reasons? Yeah, I remember school. But they all sound, in aesthetic and energy, exactly the same to me as Hundred Reasons. Do you remember Hundred Reasons? Yeah, I remember Hundred Reasons. Who were around like 10 years before, from like Farnham and Surrey. Yeah, but they were aping the same, they were aping Newfound Glory, they were aping those kind of bands,

you know what I mean? Yellow Card and things like that, the bands that were out around that sort of time. So they were a prestige. Yellow Card weren't out that early, were they? Yeah, Yellow Card were out for ages. And I thought that Hundred Reasons were basically mimicking a lot of the hardcore, you know, at the Yellowcard weren't out that early, were they? Yeah, Yellowcard were out for ages. And I thought the 100 Reasons were basically mimicking

a lot of the hardcore, you know, at the drive and stuff like that, which was even earlier. Yeah. Anyway, I think if you watch the really good Instagram account

that I'm always sending you stuff from is Catatonic Youths. Yeah, I love it. Who just find the worst music around. And they've, pop punk people have really kind of like,

everyone knows how to produce that music now and they know, pop punk people have really kind of like, everyone knows how to produce that music now and they know how to produce it in such a mathematical and precise way. It's like the Japanese bands

of like the 90s that could just ape a sound and do it beautifully and effortlessly. But yeah, but there's something a little bit lost there

in translation in that it's too mechanical and it's too methodical and it's too forensic. But these young kids in their basements with their fucking massive amounts of LED arrays and studio-level microphones and stuff like that, they're filming themselves doing, like,

everyone's doing the same cover of the same thing. They're doing the new Sam Smith song. They're doing Running Up That Hill. They're doing every fucking song that is popular on TV, and they're doing covers of it. And they're going, hey, guys, imagine if... And they start it in exactly the same way. Imagine if Kate Bush was emo.

Yeah, imagine if Kate Bush was emo. Let's go. And then they go, running up that hill, running up... It's fucking bollocks. It's terrible, but... And I love that kind of music, and it's bollocks. But part of you does go, oh, his here, running up there, it's fucking bollocks. It's terrible. And I love that kind of music and it's bollocks. But part of you does go,

oh, his voice is actually quite good. Oh, they're amazing. They're always good singers and the production is fantastic but it's just turd. It's always a bloke who's grown out of emo but refuses to move on as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so good at it and so shit at it at the same time. To have those chops and to turn in such a fucking methodical

forensic performance really really good quality HD camera as well anyway on that note Pete's grumpy now and it's all of our fault

so let's get out of here we will be back on Monday for more of this I probably will run you down a couple of the things I've got up to in the Lake District

Peter try and stay awake if you can. It'd be much appreciated. And I'm sure we'll find plenty of other stuff to talk about as well. In fact, actually, as I mentioned the first half

of this episode, we have got some really good emails, particularly pertaining to near-death experiences in the sea. Yeah, and someone with a weird microwave flex,

which is actually quite interesting. So stick around for that on Monday. Have a great weekend. At Luke and Pete Show on social media. Hello at Luke and Pete Show on the email, or hello at lukeandpeteshow.com, I should say, on the email.

And we're around on social media individually as well. You can find us should you so wish. All right, guys. Imagine if the Luke and Pete Show wasn't on anymore. Bye. The Luke and Pete Show wasn a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.