The Luke and Pete Show - Dishonest master of coin

Episode Date: April 27, 2020

Today’s email section has been described by Luke as ‘the best week since September 2018’, which is high praise indeed. We’ve got people running through the street with flaming barrels of tar, potato guns, and the discovery and exploration of a long-neglected shed!Also on today’s show: Rugrats, aggressive lemons, and a questionable depiction of a bunch of superheroes bowing down to some nurses. Meanwhile, Pete’s become more woke than ever and Luke’s *still* drinking from his Nalgene.We’d love for you to get in touch, hit us up at [e-mail]!**Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast provider. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's the luke and pete show it is a monday my name is pete donaldson and i'm joined by one luke moore yeah the sort of exchange that's a lot easier when you're in the same room you can really notice the latency of people sitting at connections when you try and do a back and forth like that on an intro to a podcast uh this podcast nearly didn't happen because uh instead of going to zencaster our recording uh browser-based a studio of choice i typed in the words deliveroo.co.uk so if you've got that's how my life is going. That's my default website to go to instead of, you know, the work one. How are you doing, Luke? You all right?

Good. What time is it turning up? I've not ordered anything. To be fair, my delivery consumption has been quite low. Instead, I have been going to the Japanese slash Korean supermarket around the corner to buy just lots of shabu-shabu beef, really thin slices of beef. They just go with everything. So I've just been doing a lot of that.

I did manage to spend 90 quid in there yesterday. Oh, my goodness me. One carrier bag of food was 90 pounds because it's all imported. It's all specialist. But I wasn't really paying attention to the price of everything, and I managed to spend £9 on salad dressing. Very, very strange. My goodness me.

How did the other half live, ladies and gentlemen? Well, listen, I'm here to represent you guys, the normal people. I will go to the co-op only when I have to. I'll queue outside. I'll keep my distance. I'll spend a maximum of, depending on what my wife asked me to buy, a maximum of, say, £30. But the thing is, one thing it's made me realize is that when you don't go

anywhere or do anything, so there are things. I know there are people out there who check out their bank statements every month and pour over the details because they have to. And I understand that. And I should do that myself because, you know, not multi-millionaire or anything. Pete Donaldson doesn't do that. But that's not the point I'm making.

The point I am making is when you don't go out and all these kind of hidden costs when you're out and about buying a beer or doing this, doing that, when it's literally just crystallized down into the food you buy that you eat at home every single night, it doesn't last very long. My God. every single night it doesn't last very long my god what the food doesn't last very long i mean it's cheaper presumably you have to go there you have to go there a lot more often than you'd like is what i mean yes yes yes yes yes you do have to re-up quite a lot but i'm finding like creative ways to just use the stuff that i've got left i'm pouring vinegar on snacker jacks

i'm pouring like i'm pouring i've got this uh if you ever um find yourself uh like a lot of like food gets a lot more exciting when you put vinegar or anything acidic on your food and people talk about vinegar quite a lot get yuzu sauce y-u-z- You know that Yuzu lemon? It's like a really strong, kind of like aggressive kind of lemon that's used in different... Aggressive lemon. That's your rap name, isn't it? Yeah, it's aggressive lemon. No, Lemon Party.

MC Lemon Party. Don't Google that. Do you remember that? Tell people, tell our younger listeners who won't remember Lemon Party what it is and whether it still exists and then get on to Yuzu. lemon party what it is and whether it still exists and then get on to yuzu uh it was uh an early 2000s late 90s uh kind of trick website uh that you would go to lemon party lemon party.net so again think meet spain think uh tub girl all of the old ones i think we probably discussed lemon party on here before but it was a kind of um a shock website. And it was three old men just sucking each other off, basically,

because we imagine, because we are very closed off, very kind of stereotypical ideas of what sexuality looks like. And anyone over 40 isn't allowed to indulge. So the shock. I'll tell you what, you could have broken that a bit more gentle, given I'm 40 in september stop mentioning it we'll stop getting any kind of ad money for the youngsters what the youngsters no because you're the you're the you're the young hip one aren't you i'm the old cantankerous

fool i've got so much white in my i've grown a little tiny little gaulty beard and uh there's so much white in it luke it's yeah you look like it's not right you look like um do you know what you look like i thought first of all when i saw you with your little musketeer type beard i thought oh yeah he looks a bit like a um you know sword fighting teacher in in france i'll take it yeah around around the time of the sort of mid to late 18th century but now i've actually think that you look like a dishonest master of coin i'll take it to be a master of anything i would i would take right now well i'm one master of something uh in lockdown and talk about yuzu it's just it's just fucking lemon a bottle of yuzu dressing you can put in anything it's just fucking a pure hit of lemon.

It's an aggressive lemon, but it's just a little bottle and you just chuck it on anything and it makes it taste lemony and tart. And oh God, it brings the flavours out in everything. Oh God, it's great. It really is fantastic. I think that really the lemon, the humble lemon, is the fruit most fertile for aggression of all the fruits because it's so sharp.

If I said to you, here's an aggressive banana, that means something completely different. If I said to you, here's an aggressive melon, I'm not bothered about that because the flavour of melon is so benign that it's not going to affect me in any way. You're talking aggressive lemons. I'm thinking twice. I'm going to get juicy, George, just thinking

about it. I'm picturing an aggressive watermelon hole drilled in it, but with razors inside. Uh-oh. Don't try and have sex with that watermelon. I was in Seville. Where's that come from? Where's that

come from? Where's that watermelon come from? I would say, where's that come from? Oh, and blood. I was in Seville a little while ago. And they say don't eat the oranges off the tree. Probably because it's rude because they're people's oranges. But, oh, my God, people are saying they're so tart and so horrible. I had one. Well, I had two or three.

They were delicious. Yeah. Aggressive citrus. People are just scared of citrus, horrible. I had one. Well, I had two or three. They were delicious. Yeah. Aggressive citrus. People are just scared of citrus, guys. Get on it. You've just put me in mind of the constantly worst conversation I repeatedly have with my lovely wife, which is that when you and I went to Menorca,

back when we could have holidays, and we stayed at that place, and there was a lemon tree in the garden, and it was lovely. It was just such a lovely spot. spot we're very lucky and very fortunate i don't want to sound out of touch because i know people are going through a difficult time at the moment um but when we could go on holidays we occasionally went away apologies to everyone that that offends but that's just how it is right anyway we went we went to a villa in minorca you and i pete there were a few other people there as well there was was a lemon tree in the garden, and it was amazing.

You could smell the lemon from the lemon tree just on the breeze. And so I'm not necessarily proud of this. I'm probably a little bit ashamed, but I did steal like two or three lemons off the tree. For perspective, though, there were about 50 lemons on this tree, and it looked like they weren't going to be touched. A load them had already fallen onto the floor so even a fruitarian would have been fine with it right anyway you you missed you missed it you missed me pulling about 10 off and just booting them into uh the surrounding uh villas so don't worry more wasteful um so i i

took these lemons and i brought them back and they were amazing they smelled so good and then they were so um fresh when compared to what you would get in a supermarket. It just really blew my mind. So anyway, I did what any kind of limited, emotionally suppressed idiot would do. And I said to Mimi, I said, we're getting a lemon tree in the garden. I want that.

I want a lemon tree. So we walked down to the garden centre. That's going to take a long time. Well, listen, you say this now. I went down to the garden centre, bought a lemon tree, put it in the garden. There are currently five lemons on it. What, full-sized lemons?

They're not like kumquat-sized? No, I'd say three of them are full-sized. What? It's grown amazingly. How big was the tree when you actually bought it? I'd say it's probably about, it's grown a bit. I'd say it's probably about the size of a five-year-old child cool and anyway so so um the conversation to get to the conversation i have my wife regularly is can i pick the lemons

off the tree yet no why not because they're not ready but when i scratch the peel they smell amazing and i want them no what are you going to do with them anyway don't know every single other day i I'd say. Yeah, but you're scratching the fuck out of these poor lemons. They're just trying to grow. I'm wondering if they're aggressive or not. Aggressive lemons. You're being aggressive, if anything.

Aggressive with lemons. Leave your fucking lemons alone. Did I forward on that picture of... I'm just literally looking at my whatsapp um did i did i fold on the picture of uh that marie james friend of the show um folded on of all of the superheroes bowing in a corridor to all of the nhs yes i found it very before you move on i would like to say i find i found it very touching it brought a tear to my eye i thought it summed up exactly how the nation is feeling at the moment.

And I would thank you, Mr. Donaldson, to not put your cynical hat on and take the piss out of it. Please, carry on. What were you going to say? Nothing. I wasn't going to say nothing. I'm already saying this. It's basically a picture of three nurses, all female, I think,

which is a little bit, again, stereotypical, walking down a corridor in a hospital with their masks on and all of the superheroes that we see on our televisions. Think the Hulk. Think Captain America. Hulk, Captain America, Superman, Wonder Woman, all of them. Hang on a minute. The problem I've got with this here is whoever's done this monstrosity

has crossed the streams here. That's Marvel and DC in the same image. They don't exist in the same universe. And everyone else besides. So everyone's sort of bowing in reverence and respect to the fine frontline key workers of our nation. I think it might be American, but either way, Dr. Manhattan's there and he's wearing pants.

He's not got his knob out because it's disrespectful to get his knob out. Dr. Manhattan is old. Dr. Manhattan always has his knob out. But he thought, on this occasion, I'm going to put some pants on because I don't want the nurses to see my cock. Also, maybe he's probably thinking, my radiation levels are through the roof. I probably shouldn't be here because I'm causing more problems here

than I'm solving. Because now we're going to, I mean, fair enough. It might well be that my research powers and in the case of Tony Stark, his money might help the problem. But I'm causing other health issues just by being in proximity.

And by bowing, they are leaning leaning in they're not wearing masks in fact batman is wearing a complete inverse mask he's only got his nose and his mouth showing yeah that's the opposite of what we want it's all over the place but uh yeah we've we've got three minutes out of that thank you uh can i just say before you moved on before you move on from dressings and sauces, I should give a nod to Sam Smith, who occasionally, pretentiously calls himself Samuel Ashton. Right. Because when he-

That's not the Sam Smith who people get angry about for being gender fluid. No, it's Sam Smith who sits opposite me in the office. Right, good. He brought me back a japanese worcester sauce right and i have to say i've found it very hard these days to eat baked beans without it why is it like an okonomiyaki kind of brown what do they put in there don't know because i can't read the label but it tastes exactly like a more powerful worcester sauce. Cool. Just Google translate the cover. Yeah. Oh, God, I love food at the moment.

God, I love food. What were you going to say? Have you seen that Tom Hanks is offering up his blood to anyone who wants it? What? I said, why should we be getting involved with this? Go on, get a little vial so we can call on him. Well, but he's, obviously he had COVID. Him and his wife have now recovered.

And the quote was, we have not only been approached, we have said, do you want our blood? Because obviously it's going to have the COVID antibodies in there. Can we give plasma? And we're giving it to the places

that we hope to work on what I would like to call the Hank scene. So that's a direct quote from Tom Hanks, wanting to get... Look, I don't mind him giving out the blood, but there are a lot of other sufferers with conflicting situations health-wise that might be more useful or less useful. And they will also be used in trying to find a vaccine. Now, if Tom Hanks thinks, just because he's the celebrity COVID sufferer and one of the earlier ones, let's make it very clear, he thinks he can rename the vaccine for corona as Hank-zine,

it's not right, and I'm not having it. Sounds like a dirty mag. It does sound like Hank-zine. Yeah, sounds like something you'd get like, like a fanzine, but he's got pictures of Hanks with his willy out. Yeah. Loving it.

Dr. Manhattan style. Yeah. Absolute filth. Should we hit a break and come back with some events? No, we're not hitting a break because I've got a question for you actually. Oh, uh-oh. Which is I've noticed over the last week or so,

and I think our listeners will have noticed as well, that maybe the last couple of weeks, I think you've become more woke since lockdown. I want to rename it Woke Down. What do you mean? Why is that? You keep referencing things, like politically correct things all the time.

I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm not saying I have an opinion on it. I'm just saying that it's a very well-trodden path, your wokeness. And I think I saying I have an opinion on it. I'm just saying that it's a very well-trodden path, your wokeness. And I think I need to give you a higher rating. Well, heads up. I think it's more the fact that my favorite football team is already taken

over by a set of people who bear head journalists. And so if I can get away with being as right and as proper as I possibly can, to the point that it upsets a proportion of our listeners, I think I'm allowed to like Newcastle still. Are you suggesting that you could single-handedly take on the entire Saudi regime just by being a little bit more vocal with how much you respect women? I've installed a gender-neutral toilet in my house. In your own flat?

Yeah. I mean, it's mainly being used by one man at the moment, but, you know, it's fine. Cis man. Cis man. That's superhero nobody wants. Brilliant. It's a bloody good comic, that.

Right, let's take a break, and when we come back, we'll do some emails. And we're back on the Luke and Sis show. We're Sis in the Place out, and we're reading out your emails. Thank you very much for getting in touch, everyone who's been getting in touch over the lockdown. Some lovely bits and bobs, odds and sods coming in, Luke. I think it's fair to say.

Very complimentary, very lovely, talking about people's lives. You know, obviously, people have different things going on in their lives, and the Luke and Pete show and Football Rumble Daily and all of the other Stakhanov products. People are enjoying our shit at the moment, and I really appreciate the kind words. Yeah, I'll go further than that, actually, Peter. I'd say that this week for Luke and Pete show emails

has been the finest email week since I think September 2018, and I don't say that lightly. Ask me what happened in 2018, September 2018. What happened in September 2018? We just had a better one. Right. Hello at LukeandPete.com is the email address. Pete, would you like to go first or do you want me to go first?

Can you go first? Because I'm going to do a hard sniff into a pillow. Yeah, no worries. Hello, the Luke and Pete. The Luke and the Pete, sorry. This is from Simon Ponting. You okay there, pal? Yeah, fine.

Good, okay. I don't have a hanky near me. I'm just going to take a little swig of the old drink. Hang on. Fucking Nalgene. He's just always got that bottle. I just don't understand it. He's got a bottle that has a very wide brim.

And so when he opens it, it's quite large. It makes a bit of noise. And in every podcast we ever do, there's always a little, just a man opening it. Just leave it. It's a cup. Just leave it open as a cup. You're going to drink it all in an hour.

Just leave it open. You're a germaphobe. Shout out now, Gene, and shout out Coolish, the two wannabe sponsors of this show. They'll never listen. Simon Ponting, hello to Luke and the Pete. He says, further to Luke's interest in weird events that have been cancelled, I thought I would add some more.

This is from a show a week or two ago where we talked about the cheese rolling being cancelled. We talked about the old-fashioned, hundreds-of-years-old village ball games being cancelled. And Simon wants to throw something out some more. He says, I am from Cheltenham, where cheese rolling takes place. And at school, our PE lessons, we learn about other random sports around the UK

to make our local ones seem less mental. First to add to the shin-kicking competition, the idea is you stuff your socks with hay and then while holding the collar of your opponent, kick each other in the shins till one gives up. Right. At least there's hay involved because that would really bloody hurt, wouldn't it?

There's a sport out there for everyone. I'm not one to judge. I've got sports I love and I've got sports I don't like as much. But this is, to me, it's just a shit idea. It's like an idea that two blokes, you know, you get like those, and I'm going to use the phrase again, those emotionally repressed chaps that you're still friends with from school and then you go for a beer with them and then,

because you're back down there where you're from and you're staying there for the weekend or whatever, and you go back to the pub and afterwards they go, come back tomorrow for a few more beers. All right then, and before you know it, two of them are having a boxing match. It's like that as a sport. That's what it is.

He said it's part of the Cotswolds Olympics, which is a weekend of other mad sports. But it's not just a gloucestershire thing apparently. Simon finishes by saying, my favourite weird sport outside the Cotswolds is the tar barrel running in Ottery, St Mary and Devon. In this event around the bonfire night,

the whole village turns out to watch people run through the streets with flaming barrels of tar on their backs. The idea is to run between two pubs. I think that's kind of been stopped now. It's just like a relay over short distances. It looks mad, although I bet Pete would fancy giving it a go. He's attached a picture, and I can confirm it looks utterly ridiculous. Is the hot tar at any point going to splash into a child's face?

It's in a barrel. I think the things I can glean from the photo, it's a big man with a barrel on his back. The barrel is certainly on fire. I imagine there'd be some kind of safe distance kept, one would hope. But having said that, Pete, as a sea scout at the age of about 13,

I did get a piece of bonfire ash in my eye and was very worried that I was going to have lasting damage. Thankfully, I didn't. And was very worried that I was going to have lasting damage. Thankfully, I didn't. Although it was part of a series of two or three days. An anus horribilis, if you will. I don't know what the word for week is.

I know anus is a year, but just fill in the blanks yourself. Where I also hurt my hand very badly through an errant fingernail in a football match and i fell off a climbing frame and broke my wrist so a very very not a happy home life pete a very troubling week for me not a very hand life really i guess no and life um i was like with that tar that you that people put in the road but i mean, it's a bitumen. Is it bitumen? I don't know. It's certainly a waste product of, well, not waste product, but a product of the cracking process, I believe.

My grandmother used to suck on that as kids during the war. What? Suck on tar? Yeah, on bitumen, yeah. Right. What for? To get high? No, I think, no, they were only kids.

I think they just used to do it like chewing gum, like a hard chewing gum or something. Oh, that makes sense. Oh, chew on it. Sorry, I thought you meant like inhale the food. My granddad also said to me on a call yesterday that he can remember the Battle of Britain and he can remember Spitfires fighting over Portsmouth,

fighting German Messerschmitts, I suppose it would have been. And so it was really exciting because he was only like 10 years old and he thought it was brilliant. Yeah. What a life. Like you say, I was on a call with my granddad, like it was a business meeting. It was a Zoom call.

To be fair to him, he's done brilliantly well when it comes to Zoom. He pops invariably on our family chats. He is first on. Right. He's better than marcus and jim definitely um you know like so that i do love the smell of tar is my favorite smell uh i think out of all of the smell i would i wouldn't put it on my food like you, Zou, but I would put it on my nose like nose smells. But, you know, like downtown LA, they've got that kind of like car park that's just a lot. They've got tar pits where, you know,

you can find a lot of dinosaur bones and stuff, and it's just pure tar. And then there's like underneath, there's like car parks and through the walls seeps this tar and this is like in the middle of the city of los angeles in the middle of downtown los angeles and there's just a big tar pit and i find that uh amazing and i'm sure a lot of you listeners are familiar with it and maybe we'll have some listeners in los angeles who walk past it every day uh but i walked past it once i like, what the hell is going on here?

It's like a little public park, but it's all just tar with toy dinosaurs, like pretendy dinosaurs sticking out of it. Could someone just set that on fire? Burn it all off? It's a chilling conclusion to a mini story. I don't know. Are you talking about, is it called the La Brea Tar Pits? I believe so, yes.

I've never heard it pronounced, but I've only ever seen it written down. And they're in the middle of the town. Were they there, presumably they were there before and they just bubbled up and people were like, oh, fucking hell, better get out of here. Or did they build the city around it? I presume they must have built the city around it. Or maybe they just went

we need to yeah maybe it just started seeping up and then it became a tar pit i don't know because you think you're building a city we'll be like we'll get let's get rid of this tar pit we can't there's just so much tar we can't even run and now it's become a bit of a tourist attraction just in the middle of town just this big black lump of goopy goop. I would suspect, and obviously I've got absolutely no scientific backing for this, but my instinct tells me that they're not flammable because I just don't think that they would have so many people in close proximity. There must be some kind of scientific reason

why they're not as flammable as one would expect and if you're listening you know hello at luke and peach.com and let us let us know um because pete won't google that he'll just get someone to spoon feed it to him so you might as well email it i guess uh i guess for the same reasons you can't set fire to a road uh would probably be it's probably not that flammable but just because you said that the tar was flammable i just presumed that tar was flammable anyway well i mean it's probably not that flammable. But it's just because you said that the tar was flammable, I just presumed that tar was flammable. Anyway. Well, I mean, I think broadly speaking it is,

but I don't know if there's probably a difference between the two substances, right? Just because they've got the same name doesn't mean they're the same thing, does it? Good point. Good point. Jim's wafer. I'd like to see a wafer with some tar in the middle of it.

Tinfoil hats. Tinfoil hats. Hi, guys. With regard to tinfoil hats, it is possible to have them act as a Faraday cage and block any electromagnetic radiation from reaching your brain. James, you're starting to sound a little bit like one of them. Oh, you sound like one of them, James.

Oh, James. Sound like one of them, James, mate. An anti-vaxxer. Oh, those anti-vaxxers have changed their fucking tune, haven't they? Oh, when there's an actual immediate threat to their lives. Oh, we've changed our plans, haven't we? Yeah, and I've only taken my tinfoil hat off because the chemtrails have disappeared above my house. Exactly.

He does go on to say, unfortunately, to do so requires completely surrounding your head with tinfoil, at which point you're going to die as you've covered your nose and mouth and you can't breathe anymore. Obviously, don't recommend trying this out. Cheers, James. Yeah, don't try that out. Very much a Friday afternoon email,

which is exactly when that email came in. Actually, no, it was seven in the morning. Maybe it was. Anyway. Is Batman's mask made of tinfoil, do you think? To stop the Joker reading his thoughts. I reckon it's crev... What did I say? Crevlar?

It's crevlar! Do you want to hear about a man who... Wasn't he the dinosaur in The Rugrats? Sorry. I don't know, actually. Didn't someone quite famous do The Rugrats theme tune? Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo. It was a beautiful theme tune. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. It was a beautiful theme tune. I think it was the guy from Devo.

Oh, that would make sense, I guess. Yeah. Love it. I think it was. Enjoyable. Very enjoyable. Anyway, what about an email from a man who discovered an old shed? Oh, lovely.

Love an old shed. Yeah, and his name is Stu Jones. He says, good afternoon. Listener listener from the start an occasional emailer nice to hear he says in this current situation my wife and i are in lockdown with my mother we were due to start a job in italy at the end of march on a campsite but due to obvious reasons we won't be going anywhere anytime soon so we work seven months of the year and travel for the other five normally. And luckily, we got our travels in before the virus hit. In between listening to Stakhanov podcasts, watching Disney Plus and Netflix,

and playing Football Manager, we have undertaken several tasks to keep us busy. My mum's house has about an acre of adjoining land. My father passed away in November 2017, and it looks like nobody has really been looking after the land. My wife and I hacked away a load of foliage, and we discovered an old shed. Oh. I do remember the old shed. Wow.

I'll carry on talking, Pete. You're making a cup of tea or something, are you? No. All right. I do remember the old shed, and it had been at our previous two dwellings when I was a child. That would put the shed at around 50 years old uh due to neglect it is now falling apart and after prizing open the ivy covered door i discovered the following my old rally burner bmx from 1983 this is lovely it's

like a time capsule my old peugeot racer from 1989 i love that he got a new bike didn't throw the old one away why would you yeah and a load of crap my dad had thrown in there 20 years ago um i'm really really struggling not to say um two words uh porn mags anyway on the inspection of my mom's house we discovered that she is a bit of a hoarder. We have found such swag as 18 old mobile phones, mainly Nokias, the assorted cables to go with them, Pete. Oh, lovely. Yeah, that's the stuff. Board games from my youth, he says.

Cluedo, Game of Life, BBC Question of Sport. Oh, I used to play Question of Sport board game all the time at home. And videos, but no video player. Cassette tapes, which have now been updated to CDs. My old Star Wars toys, worthless apparently because they're out of the box. And old newspapers and an air pistol. Nice.

They always work. Get involved. He says, has any of the listeners found anything interesting in their homes that they've forgotten about? Keep up the good work. Regards, Stu Jones. Thank you very much for that, Stu. It's a brilliant email.

My experience with air pistols is limited. I remember getting shot in the leg by one with a little sort of metal pellet. But I do have a very, very vivid memory of all the kids in my street and me all getting potato guns from the joke shop and using those you used to use those i did yeah um they were surprisingly um surprisingly the projectiles were surprisingly um painful yeah if you got them close up you stick the you stick the gun the barrel of the gun straight into a potato pull the little button and you could fire the little pellet of potato at people it's wicked yeah don't get any more is it is it fair to say that like um we never played like compared to um our friends are over the pond in the u.s um gunplay isn't as big a thing uh in our in our

kind of childhood like people with like air pistols and air rifles they're always like the weirder kids you would say uh spud guns kind of as far as we kind of go it's it's not i would say that i never had that many i had probably i didn't really like toy cars but i probably had way more toy cars than i had guns yeah i wasn't allowed guns at home my parents are kind of old hippies and they um they wouldn't um well they say that my mom and dad apparently went on a cnd march together in at one point and i asked my mom about it she's like oh yeah we were kind of into that and i asked my dad about it and he said i don't just start seeing your mom and only went because she

wanted to go um so i'm not sure if he was that much into it but we weren't allowed we weren't allowed um my mom didn't really like me playing like war games or cops and robbers or anything like that really she was quite um quite big on that so i didn't get any of that sort of stuff and when i got the potato gun i think she was a bit upset about it right she didn't like the cops and robbers she likes just keeping order i don't know yeah true i don't i don't that's because i robbed her house um she she didn't know she she didn't really like to see us playing with pretend guns or whatever. But you know what kids are like. If they don't get a pretend gun, they'll just pick up a stick anyway,

won't they? Exactly. I remember in maths lesson, you had those little, I mean, why in a GCSE maths classroom would you ever, ever, ever, ever need, you know, those kind of like blocks that would kind of like plug into each other, like crap Lego, but they would just build different colours. No, there were individual squares

that would only attach to another square, another cube. I don't know what they're called. They were just these unlovable little cubes that you would make these fantastical constructions out of. But they would always be in maths class. Classes. Were you in like a remedial class or something?

That sounds like kindergarten or something. Yeah, maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was in, I was in second set, but you know, still got me A though, didn't I? So suck it, Mr. Braithwaite. Yeah, GCSE. You did much better than me at GCSE maths. I got a C.

Oh mate, I got an A starting religious studies. I was killing it. Yeah, hereSE. They did much better than me at GCSE maths. I got a C. Oh, mate, I got an A star in religious studies. I was killing it. Yeah, here we both are. And yet here we both are. What are you going to say about these little Lego things before we go? It's the shit. I don't know what they were. I don't care for what they were.

Just look out for yourselves. Don't take drugs and stay in school. Actually, you can't stay in school stay at home and do some school yeah all right pete well thank you very much for that kind of bizarre ending to this episode um yeah we'll be back on thursday with yet more of this i've actually got an interesting story i didn't get around to talking about today uh and it involves a 90s band that i think pete's gonna bloody enjoy so um we will we'll talk about that on Thursday as well as all your emails and missives.

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