The Luke and Pete Show - Do not insert the frozen potato slice

Episode Date: March 12, 2020

On this episode we’re discussing bull fighting, ‘dining & dashing’ and a problematic home remedy which utilises frozen sliced potatoes. Also coming up, we’re reading some of your near death experiences, including a hazardous tale from a noughties trip to Malia and a man who, despite all the odds, survived a drunken encounter with a horse.All that, and something about bath beers! Do your homework and slip us a DM at [e-mail] ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Meow! How you doing? I'm a cat. I'm Pete Donaldson the cat and I'm ready to lick my paws. I'm with Luke Moore who is also a cat. We are cat people for the remainder of this show. It's a Thursday. Heading into the weekend, Cataday obviously being our favourite day of the week, being cats. What was that? What was purring? It's a horse.

It's purring. It's a horse. I can't do the rolled tongue thing. Yeah. What, is that what your cat does? No, do it without making a sound. Do it just with your... Yeah, that's a purr.

You can't purr. No. What? I. Do it just with your... Yeah, that's a purr. Purr. You can't purr. No. What? I can't. That is your... What? I can't do the thing with my tongue to make it go like that.

Do a purr. That's what I can do. You can't do that. No. Magical. Ask me again. Can you do a purr? I believe we've established that.

As Alan Parkridge would say. What a start to the show. Happy Thursday, Pete. I'm all right, yeah. I haven't asked you how you are yet. Sorry, I'm kind of... Why are we recording this show so early? Because you were showing off.

The best players, they don't think about the control. They're all doing something else, all right? Yeah, okay. Automatic control. Just know I'm in the room, and then I'm off. How do you fit into that?

Nuclear efficient. I'm already off. I'm off on a you fit into that nuclear fission I'm already off I'm off on a new subject a new tangent new tangent when you quit your job at Absolute Radio because in your words

commercial radio is dead dead you suggested that then you would be able to do early shows yes it's a Monday isn't it what's happened

it's a Monday it's a Thursday Pete for the purpose of this show it's a fucking Thursday alright yeah but it's a Monday though isn't it we record it on a Monday but it's a Thursday, Pete. For the purpose of this show, it's a fucking Thursday. Oh, right, yeah, but it's a Monday, isn't it? We record it on a Monday, but it's a Thursday show.

I know. Don't tell everyone everything. Leave a bit to their imagination. Well, then, on a Thursday, I could do an early record because I'm into the hustle and bustle What have you been doing on the weekend that's made you so tired on a Monday?

I went to Southampton. Oh, yeah, you already said. All right, fair enough. I watched the She Believes Cop match between England and Japan and I had to look at Phil Neville's face. That's enough to... That's like eating a teaspoon of uranium,

looking at Phil Neville's face, a man who's managed to just fail upwards in life. Do you remember the brilliant thing about Phil Neville when he first started doing co-commentary and someone once observed... That was... I thought he was just first doing coke. No, someone once...

I'd like to see a bit of that. Someone once observed that he sounded like he was recording his commentary in a cupboard and he didn't want to wake up his neighbours. He just couldn't unhear it. He was just like, well, they've done really well there. Anyway, Peter, as it's Monday, and this is a Thursday show, and we've confused our listeners already, I'm not going to ask you how your week's been,

because that's a lie. But what I am going to say to you is, we got inundated, absolutely inundated, with emails and tweets and everything about this is Democracy Manifest. Yeah, that's the thing about the show and podcasts in general. When you've got a bit of a thread or a trope, when something happens with that trope,

it's really hard to get work done because everybody sends you it. And we're very appreciative. Well, because there's been an update. The man who is known on this show as Julian Assange. I thought he died. I thought he died that night. Well, this is the interesting thing about it. So, I mean, you're going to need to have at least be on nodding terms

with this show to understand this, but I'm going to assume that you do. This is Democracy Manifest! That guy. You could probably press the button, couldn't you?

Yeah, if I'd levelled it properly. Yeah, you haven't levelled it properly, so that's fine. That's very Hallowell. That's O-Town. Oh, shit. You're telling... No.

Hey, y'all! No. So, first step... That's the fart guy. That's the crisp sound. That's the posh guy at the airport. Yep. Sorry, basically.

No. Just endlessly, there's a lot of clips what is the charge of eating a meal a succulent Chinese meal so that guy yeah

the best arrest ever the famous laps idea yeah so someone professed to have found him a while ago

said he's a he's a Hungarian Australian guy he got busted for doing 200 like odd skipping restaurants without paying the bill he's a he's a hungarian australian guy yeah he got busted for doing 200 like odd yeah skipping restaurants without paying the bill he's also a chess master blah blah blah that was kind of oh that mystery's been solved then i thought it was like an i thought it was like an

actor and the two camera thing that was my no it wasn't it was definitely it was definitely a natural thing but it wasn't actually that guy they a sports betting company in Australia found the guy, the proper guy. And he wasn't the Hungarian emigrant or the chess master or whatever. It was just this Australian guy who found it and he's appeared in the music video for an Australian punk band, The Chats, who are really good.

I actually quite like them. I was really pleased to see that. Anyway, so it's interesting because he's appeared in the music video for an Australian punk band, The Chats, who are really good. I actually quite like them. I was really pleased to see that. Anyway, so it's interesting because he's been discovered. He looks great. He looks like he hasn't missed a step. It's like a little... I haven't got it plugged in, but there's a little short interview with him

on the internet. He sounds great. He looks great. I can't believe... Because that clip looks really, really old and it is really, really old and I can't believe, because that clip looks really, really old and it is really, really old and I can't believe the guy,

it looks like he's just grown a beard. That's the net result of like 20 years of doing what he does. Apparently, it was called Cecil George Edwards.

I remember Cecil, yeah, yeah. Interesting. So thanks very much for everyone for getting in touch with that. Pete,

you are going to do your own Dine and dash sometime soon right have I ever dined I did once on the island of Jeju near Korea

I was me and a friend Craig were playing darts and sinking a few cobbled wands he means beers

he means beers and had a love for three or four and then we retired to our Airbnb. And then the next day I came back to the same place and this woman just ran over and went, you did not pay your bill last night.

Oh, really? You just forgot? And I was like, and imagine, you know what I'm like. Oh my God, you'd have been so awkward. I overpay for things. I tip heavily because of the things I've done in my life. I overpay for things. I tip heavily because of the things I've done in my life.

And yeah, it was just, I felt awful. So I dined and dashed on that night. I drank. By accident? I darted and dashed. Have you ever done a thing where you sat in a restaurant for so long that you've forgotten that you've still got to pay it? Yeah. So I guess that was like that, right?

But it was just writ large. Yeah. A lot of my meals are paid for by other people, yeah, because people like to wine and dine me. So I just assume that someone else is going to foot the bill. Where has that come from? I don't know. Where has that come from?

Here's a story, Peter, that you will bloody well love. In fact, when I first saw it, I thought of you instantly. For a couple of reasons. You'll see why. Mark Busby sent me this story. Mark Busby, babes, he always makes me cry. Thinking

of the teams of years gone by. I used to love that song when I was a kid. He's emailed in about doctors warning people not to put frozen potatoes in their anus. That would be problematic because the crystals would start to freeze the anus. Doctors have issued a warning against putting frozen potatoes in your anus. This comes as an increasing number of hemorrhoid sufferers

have reportedly taken to the internet to seek alternative solutions to their problem instead of consulting their doctor. That would be soothing, but problematic, you imagine, yeah. Apparently, it's been going around the internet because the internet is a fucking cesspit these days. Shut it down. Yeah.

Inserting frozen potatoes into your anus for 30 minutes is the answer so one article claims you need to peel a raw potato cut it into thin slices like you do for french fries put the slices

into the freezer and wait until they are frozen insert the frozen potato slice in your anus and leave it inside for 30 seconds repeat the

process for 3 to 5 days the next 3 to 5 days leave the slice inside for 30 seconds more each time you're making it up as you go along get a get a frozen pad rather than like something that you can actually freeze rather than you know like a white clean kind of plastic um kind of like like a frozen patch that you would use to like alleviate like muscle pain bind that up and then put that up your bum don't use a potato because the starch it would start

it's not going to stay frozen for long it's a thin slice anyway but the water vapour on the side or even just because it's just

a big ball of water isn't it it's very watery and starchy and those proteins and that frozen water is just going to do damage to the cells

of your bloody hemorrhoids well the doctors chimed in they're always chipping off aren't they bloody doctors oh no at all. I've had enough of them.

Done in medical school. Yeah. Can't deal with real life. I'm going to take 10 years off. Yeah. And then I'm going to do 12 hour shifts because I don't like life. I love the idea.

I don't like sleeping. Love the idea. Cocking my leg up on the doctor's table, getting a frozen potato, shoving it out of my bum while screaming in the face of a doctor.

University of life, mate. University of life. The doctor said, there is no medical evidence that putting frozen potatoes inside the anus can help cure piles, so I would urge caution to anyone thinking of doing it. Only urging caution,

not telling them not to do it. Yeah, proceed with caution. Piles often go away on their own after a few days, but there are some tried and trusted ways to keep them at bay. Drink plenty of fluids, going against the Donaldson mantra. Maintain a fibre-rich diet,

going against the Donaldson mantra. And having regular warm baths. Do you have regular warm baths? Don't have a bath. Again, you are the dictionary definition of a man who could get piles. Risking.

Piles and haemorrhoids, are they the same things? Yeah, I believe so, yeah. It's kind of just bits of your canal just getting inflamed, isn't it? Isn't it a... I think it's an inflamed blood vessel,

isn't it? Why do they need so many blood vessels? Because that's why they put drugs up your bum, isn't it? Suppositories and the like. Is it? Yeah, because there's a lot of blood vessels, so it's really easy to get in your bloodstream. Are we getting into the old disclaimer territory here? Well, who used to blow cocaine up people's bums?

Oh, right, yeah. Because it's really easy to get straight into your bloodstream really quickly. Right. It's a rush. What a rush. Oh, Jake the Snake's back in wrestling. Is he?

Yeah, he's got an undercut like me. He must be so old. He's got an undercut like me. Yeah, but the thing with Jake the Snake's back in wrestling. Is he? Yeah, he's got an undercut like me. He must be so old. He's got an undercut like me. Yeah, but the thing with Jake the Snake, he was never an amazing wrestler, but my God, he could do the mic stuff. He's so chilling. He's 64 years old.

Absolutely frightening. Yeah, because he looks like an old grandad. Yeah, watching Jake the Snake at the height of his alcoholism, rolling around on the floor using his snake, I forget his name, as a penis, is an image that will stay with me for a long time. Hashtag, listen to Wrestle Me.

I'm just looking at a photo of him now from two days ago. He sort of dyed his hair as well. He doesn't look too bad. On the mic... He's looked a lot worse. On the mic, he looks like a lot worse. On the mic he looks like he's got up to say

something at an AA meeting. If he's been in enough AA meetings he's had demons. He's had demons. Oh he has. I've seen him

be on the mat. It's absolutely chilling. Speaking of putting potatoes up your bum he used to put the snake in

the fridge. Why? In the mini bar because it just calms them down doesn't it? Because they can go in the lock.

Oh because they're cold blooded. Just stick them in the freezer calms them down. In the minibar. Because it just calms them down, doesn't it? Because they can go in there. Oh, because they're cold-blooded. Just stick them in the freezer. Calms them down. In a minute, calm a snake down. Or euthanise a tortoise. Put them in the freezer. I don't think...

I don't think... I know it was like the 80s, but I don't think a wrestler travelling all around the US with a questionable attitude to substances should be travelling with a pet snake. Cock will be waiting as my car. Yeah, all that.

That should also not be happening. It's a gimmick that, alright, you can enjoy the first couple of days off. It looks good, yeah. Yeah, but then you're like, I've got to take this

to a bar store. Yeah. I've got to take this to Chattanooga. Is it Chattanooga? Yeah. Is that a place? Yeah, I think it's in Tennessee.

Yeah. What have we learnt here? Do not put a frozen snake or macaw up your bum if you've got piles. No. You never suffer from piles, no? No, never. Frozen snakes would probably...

Frozen snake up your bum would probably work better. Shape. Shape. Shape of it. And also the water. It wouldn't be as watery. It wouldn't freeze the ice. You wouldn't get icicles up your bum.

You wouldn't get ice. It's all gone a bit kind of weird, isn't it? It's not, it wouldn't be as watery. It wouldn't freeze the ice. You wouldn't get icicles up your bum. You wouldn't get ice. It's all gone a bit kind of weird, isn't it? It's sexy. Shall we take a break? Yeah, let's take a quick break. When we come back, we'll do some emails. It's okay for macho men to show every emotion available right there, you know, because I've cried a thousand times.

I'm going to cry some more. Another great Mike's man. Yeah. Another great Mike's man. If you'd like to get into the show it's hello at luganpeachshaw.com it is

have you got an email there Peter I have sorry I was reading the email address out so I thought you were I can do one

I've got one here I've got one from Darren who's responded to an earlier piece of homework which was I thought I was going to die

when and he says I found myself standing in a Derbyshire field in the pitch black, pissed, with the sickly malty taste of nine pints of Brooklyn lager in my mouth all swelling around my stomach. And I was up to my knees in freezing mud with the sound of a galloping, panting horse circling me. Wow, how's that happen? Pretty full on, right? right yeah without even the comfort of the light from my phone because of a dead battery or coat yeah

no excuse he says all out of all out of uh options here he says to cut a long story short number one unplanned pints after work number two last train home last train home to a semi-rural location number three shortcut through a field yeah number four you know the rest angry with visions of regional news reporters standing in a field where i died telling of the dangers of spooked horses and drunken shortcuts i eventually got home about an hour later after climbing over a wall into someone's garden smashing the roof of a rabbit hut and setting off the sensor, which seemed like after 15 minutes in total darkness, trying not to get eaten by a horse,

the world's most powerful floodlight, I ended up about 100 yards from where I started, before the doomed shortcut. I'll never take a shortcut through a field again. Keep up the good work, lads. Darren. That's frightening. That genuinely gives me chills.

It's also a very stupid way to die as well. Isn't it? Well, yeah, because he'd just knock you over and then... I mean, he would just knock you over and then that would be out. It's not... It would stamp on you or anything, but yeah, it wouldn't be ideal. Have you ever done anything like that? I had a Brooklyn Lager last night.

Did you? I had one bottle of Brooklyn Lager in the fridge and I never drank it at home, but I was like, that's going. Out of 10 in terms

of depressing scenes, how bad was it? It was alright. It was alright, but yeah, I don't know. It just reminds me of the unpredictability.

We used to walk at the school, we used to take a shortcut through a horse's field and it was very much the horse's field. Sometimes there'd be

three horses in there, sometimes there'd be only one horse, but all of the time they'd always take a shortcut through a horse's field and it was very much a horse's field. Sometimes there'd be three horses in there, sometimes there'd be only one horse, but all of the time they'd always take a run at you. When I used to... It's a very thrilling way to start a day's education. Yeah, I think it's a very northern story, that. You've told me that before and I can't really think of... Mind you, there were quite a few fields in the two towns

or villages along from where I lived. Did you ever have, like, a kind of travelling folk who would have, like, a council house but they'd have a horse in the front of their garden? No. That would happen quite a lot.

No. There were travellers who used to come to town and rock up and pitch in, like, a field or whatever, but they would never, sort of... Have a council house. ...have a static home, yeah. But the thing

I was going to say was when I used to go out with a girl from the West Country and when we'd go and visit her parents

we'd go for walks and her parents were very kind of serious walkers knew all the public footpaths knew the rights

of way and all the rest of it and I'm not an expert on this particular field excuse the pun but there are public footpaths

that the public have a right of way down no matter where they are kind of thing. And if someone's built a fence, you can just climb over the fence. Or if someone's built a house and it's part of their garden, you can just walk straight through. And it causes a lot of problems in the countryside

as far as I know. But anyway, it happens. And I remember once going for a walk and we're going through these fields, public footpaths, et cetera. And we went over this stile to go into a field

and there was a gigantic bull in the field wow right and they're just walking through it

and I was thinking I mean if this if this bull decides to go for it one of us is dead I'm wearing an Arsenal shirt

yeah nightmare yeah it was it was apparently the red thing is a it, one of us is dead. I'm wearing an Arsenal shirt. Nightmare. It was apparently the red thing is a myth as well. But anyway, so you walk past it and at one point we're only about six feet away from this ball.

And it's just there, eating the grass or whatever. Do you not think that... Big ring for its nose. Like a cartoon. Something to grab all of, eh? No, no. Would you grab all of, eh? Yeah. I don't know what I mean by that. No, no. Would you be frightened in that situation? Yeah, I would be very concerned,

but also I think maybe our images of bulls are wildly wide of the mark because we only see bulls kicking the fuck off and smashing up China shops, which has never happened. No. How does a bull even get in there? I know up China shops, which has never happened. No. How does a bull even get in there? I know, I know.

But yeah, I like that story. I like that very much. Just that kind of white-hot fear of going, ooh. What does Darren think is going to happen with the horse? He's up to his knees in frozen mud. Yeah. The horse is galloping around him.

What's the horse doing? The horse is probably fairly thinking, what the fuck are you doing here? Yeah. What's it going to do to you? Maybe it's trying to escort you out of the field because it knows that you're

ten sheets to the wind. It's probably saying, get on my back. Get on my back, yeah. Get on my back and ride his riders home. I told you my best mate Jimmy got bitten by a horse, didn't I?

Yeah. To be fair, it could be dangerous. Am I wrong to think that when I see a video of a bullfight, am I wrong that I like it when the ball jumps up into the crowd and hits some people?

I like it when the horns absolutely go the fuck out of the block. Yeah, same. Right up through the diaphragm, right through into the lungs. One got it right up the bop-bop, which is a more extreme treatment for piles. There's a famous picture of one getting right up the bum yeah

look he's earned the right to be there I would say the ball if you're going to get there if you're going to get into a ring with a ball one it's on you yeah if you're going to

if you're going to sort of tip the odds so you've got a couple of weapons or whatever and you're and you're are they our weapons I think they have they have spikes to

stick into the back don't they? Into the back of the ball? Yeah that's what they do it and they kill it at the end but the coup de grace at the end don't they? It's grim

it is grim that's why that's why that the The Sun Also Rises that Hemingway novel is so good because it's

nothing happens in it really apart from they go to a load of ball fights and get pissed and I hate ball fighting but it's so good it's still such a good read it's amazing from they go to a load of bullfights and get pissed and I hate bullfighting but it's so good it's still such a good read

it's amazing for a book to be about a subject that I genuinely find abhorrent and still really enjoy reading it is a testament to it

I think and that's the review he's asked from me it's my book of the week it's his book of the week

do your email Joe Bartlett there's been a lot of talk recently about the livery, enjoyable bath beer. Bath beer. Oh, yeah. Well, today I came across this hotel in Prague,

which takes the bath beer to the next level. The bath itself has two taps, obviously hot gold, but also it has an extra tap pouring unlimited fresh beer from the brewery that is attached to the hotel. Whoa. Whoa. That's pretty cool. I've never been, but I would be more than happy to head on a fact-finding mission

on behalf of the show. Just let me know where to send the expense form. Cheers, Joe. Imagine getting dehydrated because your skin gets all wrinkly, doesn't it? Yeah. On your fingertips. What would happen if you got really dehydrated? Yeah.

Would that level out? Would you just not get that because you're dehydrated? It'd be ironic, wouldn't it? It would be ironic. I was in Germany a weekend or two ago, and in that particular part of Germany, it's not the big steins of beer. They have these really grumpy waiters at all these bars,

and they bring you small beers. Right. And they're really rude. I don't know why it's traditional, but they're rude. Who's this? I was just in Germany. Oh, right.

Yeah. Is it traditional that they're rude? Yeah, apparently they're just known for being kind of quite brusque. And the reason they bring you small beers is because they get paid per beer. Okay. But I think they take a,

they take like a self-employed stance on the waiting of the tables and if they spill a beer for example they have to pay for it right and their job is to get you for as many beers as possible and they get because they get paid by beer interesting yeah i don't know how it works in prior but i've never heard of a bath with a beer pump and that's great have you ever been to a um it was like it's like a theme pub um i think it's called like Dave's or Alan's Last Resort in America. And they're all over the place. And they are basically, it's like a family restaurant where you go slash drinking establishment

where all of the staff are the rudest people. And that's the thing. That's the trope. I've heard about this. You just get insulted, right? You just get insulted constantly. Just calling you a tit. I think I've maybe about this you just get insulted right you just get insulted constantly just calling your tit and not

I think I've maybe told this story on the podcast before but there was a family enjoying a meal and they would make little hats

out of the these massive serviettes and they'd draw like an insult on the hat and they'd put the fucking prick and they'd put

the fucking prick hat on your head and they'd put the fucking prick and they'd put the fucking prick hat on your head and I was watching one family getting this treatment and this book wrote this waiter was being really rude

because that's the thing wrote you are flat chested and put it on the head of a couldn't have been older than a 14 year old girl that is outrageous it was the worst of a, couldn't have been older than a 14-year-old girl.

That is outrageous. It was the worst bit of behaviour I have ever seen, and I think about it a lot. Yeah. It was the worst bit of behaviour I have ever seen from a man. At what point does a manager say, right, we need to dial it down. Dial it down.

Dial it down. I don't know what the boundaries are. I don't know what the rules are here. Dial it down. Yeah. Dial it down. You told me. I don't know what the boundaries are. I don't know what the rules are here. Dial it down. Yeah. Dial it down. You told me to be as offensive as I could. It's like going there.

Statistically, with three of you, we'll get cancer. Yeah. Or, what have you written on mine? I've written that both your parents are dead. Yeah. Where did you draw the line? That's the key point. So if you go in there, tempting to say, if you go in there, you deserve everything you get.

But with children, it's a bit different. It is. It was. Clearly his barometer for how old people were was off. And that's not a great statement. Also,

not great training for a job at another restaurant, is it? No, no. You have to basically just rotate around there, isn't it? Good evening,

and fuck you. Sorry. They weren't like that. Old job. They weren't like that. It was just like, it was isn't it? Good evening, and fuck you. Sorry. They weren't like that. Old job. They weren't like that. It was just like, it was kind of like, all right, what do you pricks want? Wow.

It was like, can we have two beers, please? Yeah, I might fucking get round to it. You might like that. I think you'd like it. Yeah. Because you don't like people making a fuss, do you? No. Well, no, but that's the problem.

They do make a fuss. They constantly insult you. Oh, right, yeah. Where are you fucking pricks from? Ah, you fucking limeys. Limeys, is that a thing? Are we limeys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably get tedious, wouldn't's the problem. They do make a fuss. They constantly insult you. Oh, right, yeah. Where are you fucking pricks from? Ah, you fucking limeys. Limeys, is that a thing? Are we limeys? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I always forget. Probably get tedious, wouldn't it? Yeah. We'll squeeze one more email in from Pete from Wrexham, who emailed in a week or so ago, and he says, listening to the most recent episode, when you set the homework,

I was instantly transported back to one of the scariest and most embarrassing moments of my adult life. I thought I was going to die when... Uh-oh! On holiday with a couple of mates back in Malia in 2002. Malia.

For the avoidance of doubt, that is where the first Inbetweeners movie is set, which tells you everything you need to know. Malia's one of those places that I rarely hear of because you don't...

People don't go there anymore. Is it a thing anymore today? No. My uncle used to live in Crete and I had to drive through Mali at once and it was horrendous. Anyway, he says,

we went on a cruise to a smaller island near Crete. So, holiday in Mali, 2002, him and his pals on a cruise to a smaller island

near Crete. It was quite a sedate affair, said Pete, not a booze cruise by any means. However, the previous night we'd been out drinking

and working our way through the cocktail list at one of the bars just off the main strip. I'm not and never have been a big drinker, but as a younger man, I often went past my limits. You sound just like me, Pete. That night, I didn't feel too bad, and we all went to sleep fairly early to get up in time for the cruise. All was going well until we stopped at a tranquil bay to jump off the top of the boat and have a little swim.

I joined my mates up top and dutifully waited my turn. I happily jumped in in but then things went wrong upon hitting the water my arms and legs instantly cramped up i resurfaced and then realized that somehow i jumped off the wrong side of the boat and there was no one nearby to help as panic and realization set in i somehow made it back to the boat and reached up to some feeding that ran around the hull in excruciating pain i pulled myself around the boat and reached up to some feeding that ran around the hull. In excruciating pain, I pulled myself around the boat and after what felt like hours, it was probably only five

minutes, I made it to the ladder and was helped back up by a couple of good Samaritans. When I told my two pals about my terrifying ordeal, they mercilessly took the piss, not only for the rest of the holiday, but every time we've met up since too. For nearly 18 years,

my nowhere near death experience is brought up on our catch-ups. Love the show. Make you up the good work, Pete. That would be really frightening. I'm going to side with Pete from Wrexham here. What, he just jumped in the water and his arms just cramped up? Arms and legs.

Right. That's not ideal, is it? No. The gingerbread man. It sounds terrifying and it also reminds me of a time when I was walking, I might have told this before, but I was walking home from school and it also reminds me of the time when I was walking I might have told this before

but I was walking home from school and there was a group of kids in front of us who were bullying another kid and they didn't stop until he had

two dead arms and two dead legs so he couldn't actually get up nice and at the time you were like oh that's quite funny

now horrific horrific I mean working that's because when I go to the barbers they do that they sort of hit your arms they put your arms out and pull

on your fingers and then they just don't like you give your arms a good beating they cut your hair nah see you later 20 quid get out that's brilliant all right let's wrap up

hello at Luke and Pete show.com to get in touch thank you to Pete from Rexham and all the other people who've got in touch over the last week it's been great to hear from you yeah Pete and Crete and all the other people who've got in touch over the last week it's been great to hear from you

yeah Pete and Crete we'll be back on Monday with some more of this nonsense let's stick with the current homework you thought you were going to die when yeah

what else have we got here text your parents or grandparents ask them what they think the worst thing about you is and tell us the most interesting encounter you've had with a telemarketer

he's Pete I'm Luke we'll see you on Monday bye tell us the most interesting encounter you've had with a telemarketer. He's Pete, I'm Luke. We'll see you on Monday. Bye. Bye.