The Luke and Pete Show - Do you know where Alaska is?

Episode Date: April 14, 2022

The two “fashion gurus” we have access to are back! And they're tackling a major problem: how do you dress fashionably as a 40-year-old man?Elsewhere, Pete gets confused by the concept of Alaska and Luke reads a dramatic email that at first glance is about a sofa but hides a whole lot more...Do you have a dramatic tale to share? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Mother Flippin' Luke and Pete Show! Heading into what can only be described as Good Friday. Luke, are you planning to have a good Friday? Yeah, I mean, I love the time off, to be honest. Right, OK, we don't really get the time off though do we i know in our game it depends doesn't it i mean if you're booked in to do what you're booked in to do then you know the the the um listen mate the world of um endless entertainment that is stacking podcasting means that you know you just gotta take the rough with the smooth but sometimes

you get a time off if it's a bank holiday. And I think we've got another big bank holiday weekend coming up. Is that for the Queen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the Queen doing? Big Jubilee, my friend. Big Jubilee. I mean, she's very old now, isn't she?

Yeah, she's done very well. I mean, you've got to be honest. I mean, whatever your feelings on the constitutional question, you have to really take your hat off to someone who served for that amount of time doing anything. You know? It's like, you know, Bruce Forsythe started doing stuff, and he was doing stuff for so long that you wouldn't even be able to find your elderly relatives saying that they remembered him when he was before, remember TV before he was on it.

Like, David Attenborough's like that. David Attenborough basically invented modern TV, didn't he? He was like the commissioning agent of the BBC in like 1920. Yeah. Not 1920. He created it effectively, didn't he? Yeah. So like some of these people have just been around forever.

Do you think you'll be around forever, Pete? No, God, no. I'm on the way out. I've gone to seed already. Gone to seed. I've just to seed already. Got to seed. I've just googled five facts about Good Friday. And I would just like to... Look,

Christianity gets us a kick in a lot, right? I'm just saying, guys, you need to work on your SEO, because none of these fucking sites talking about five facts about Good Friday and Easter are interesting. they're so boring give us some interesting silly facts that i can meme or tell my friends i don't i don't care

about maundy thursday i mean this is the day that the show comes out maundy thursday um it's derived from the latin word mandatum the commandment and the term refers to the commandment given by Jesus at the last supper I mean, just give us something sexy, give us something interesting, I'm sure it is interesting to a lot of people, I'm just not, where the words come from, I don't care, I want to know

about the man who only ate eggs for a month and died, that's what I want I want to know it you won't believe what John the Baptist looks like now. Exactly, that's what I want. I thought, could I just say, I'm not very versed in this world at all. I know a bit more than you do

because you didn't even know that Jesus was crucified. But I thought that Maundy Thursday was something to do with the washing of Jesus' feet before he was crucified. Right, okay. So they did it on... I mean, he's going to scuff up his feet before it gets to Friday, no? Yeah, I mean, maybe the last thing Thursday before he went to bed.

Washed his... Was it the... Was it... Mary, the other Mary was washing his feet and wiping the oil away with her hair or something like that, wasn't it? Do you remember how Jesusesus um was um born pete do you remember what happened at the jesus at the um at the birth of jesus christ i think a log flume was involved three wise men what do you mean yeah i remember that what did you learn about it at school when

you get to do like a nativity play right? What did you learn happened? Riding on a donkey into town. Hey, riding on a donkey into town. What a sight to see the boy of Galilee riding on a donkey into town. There are people everywhere who are absolutely delighted that you've turned that into some kind of End of the Pier type, like George Formby style rendition. Want a sight to see the donkey out of wee? Can I just say, speaking

of George Formby, absolutely problematic. Okay. I don't know this. Did he... No, it's just the song he's most famous for when I'm cleaning windows. When I'm cleaning windows, right? The lyrics.

Is it like, is it like what the butler saw kind of song? I've seen Miss Thompson in her flat take off her shoes, her coat and her hat. I've seen her take off more than that when I'm cleaning windows. Oh, okay.

Right. But do you think, so do you think it's just because it was so long ago? Do you think it's just a bit, it was just like a little bit of harmless fun? Or do you think it's genuinely, that's quite sinister like a little bit of harmless fun do you think it's genuinely that's quite sinister isn't it like it reminds me of the video you sent me recently of a google map the guy going through google maps uh going down the street on street

view turning around and seeing a man with his penis in his hand in his living room it's like it's a bit like that but in like the 1940s it's very public that one isn't it i mean if you like it because my dad sent me it was like a just a little facebook thing sort of saying look for this hotel on google maps and then go two doors to the left and there's a person in the window have a look but by the time i'd done that someone at google had clearly censored it um which is funny because like we all know what's under there now it's a man having a bit of afternoon delight. But it's a very public road.

It's a very open road. Just him by himself. Yeah, I think the guy has to be a pervert, surely. Whacking away. It's probably why he's moving house. What, is there a for sale sign? Yeah, it's a for sale sign, yeah. This is my last will and testament to this residential property.

He's a pariah he's disgusting yeah it's a shame I yeah it's a shame really it is a little George for me

when I'm cleaning windows I thought you said he was going to be problematic in his private life though I have no idea about that

it's not he died he literally died in like the 60s I think he died quite young so I just find it quite,

to me it's quite interesting to put yourself in the mindset of people who would enjoy that song because ostensibly it's quite a good song. It's quite catchy and stuff, right? And I just think to myself, I can't remember, I don't know when the song came out. It must have been in the 30s or the 40s. What do people,

how do people react to that at the time? Do they think, okay, that's just funny, isn't it? That's a perk of being a window cleaner. Because there was all those movies in the 70s, weren't there? Yeah. Like Confessions of a Window Cleaner and stuff. And it's a bit like... But really, when you look at it, it's...

Really, it's just one of those movies. So, for example, Confessions of a Window Cleaner. All you've got to do is change the lighting and the poster, and that's a horror movie. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, the Mum Out of the Bisto advert was on it as well. Was she? She was. Linda Bellingham, is that her name?

Linda Bellingham. Yeah. She was in it, I didn't recall, one of them. And wasn't... Oh, it was Sherry Blair's dad was in A Lot of the Money. Really? Yes. I've never heard that. Is it Sherry Booth? What was his... Yeah, they were Sherry Booth what was his yeah

Anthony Booth I think he was in a lot of them as well yeah he was in he was in Till Death Us Do Part wasn't he

oh right okay yeah again that's problematic fucking hell speaking of old men on the telly the weird thing so before the

Oscars we're still talking about this fucking thing before the Oscars the thing that reminded me about the Chris Rock and Will Smith thing, the day that that happened Will Smith, because I saw this in my timeline, the day before the actual Oscars thing happened

the slap happened somebody pointed, there's a Twitter page that's one foot in the grave, Victor Meldrew. What was the guy who played Victor Meldrew? His name was Richard Wilson, wasn't it? Richard Wilson, yeah, Richard Wilson. Basically, Richard Wilson was surprisingly young when he started doing that TV show.

One foot in the grave. One foot in the Grave. So Will Smith, who's about 50 maybe? If that, he was the same age. He was on the site basically saying, congratulations Will Smith, you've just made your

One Foot in the Grave age in that you are the same age as Richard Wilson. That's mad. When he started that TV show. I just looked it up when you were saying that. So Richard Wilson was That's mad. It's absolutely mad. When he started. Yeah, because I just looked it up when you were saying that. So Richard Wilson was 53 when he started. 53.

And Wilson was also 53. Yeah, crazy, isn't it? Absolutely crazy. Yeah, I think there's definitely something about like, so I'll see pictures of my granddad when he's like 25, right? Just come out of the army or whatever, or whatever it'll be. And he's dressed like for a formal occasion and he just looks he looks fine

he looks great but he just looks really old is it kind of selective that we sort of see people dressed all nice and dressed all formally because you would

you know pictures were quite expensive back in the day and you'd only take pictures when you were dressed all nice and that now it's so disposable there's just a load of

you know there's something about that generation's just a lot of, you know, cock shots and hammer shots and stuff. There's something about that generation that always did kind of dress quite smart, right? Yeah. So I can remember when my granddad got his first pair of jeans. And it was a big... It was like a big debate. Big street party.

Yeah, so I must... Yeah, we all took the day off. I must have been probably... I think I was at uni. Right. So it's probably 20 years ago, right? And my nan had always used a United Nations style veto in the family to stop anyone buying him jeans for Christmas.

And he really wanted a pair of jeans, right? Yeah. And so at this point, he's going to be probably pushing 70. Let Grandad wear jeans. So anyway, he eventually got some, and he was all about that. But my point being that people used to dress a lot differently then. But it's about perception as well. Because when I was...

So when I first moved to London, I was 23. And I'm doing... I had a job, and there's a lot of young people working there but you'd get like a manager who would be maybe 28, 30 and you'd be like fucking hell they're old but you wouldn't see yourself as the same

as them I bought a new when I was away and I had a couple of tequila drinks someone flagged up there was a lot of JLeague stuff going on eBay and I was away and I had a couple of tequila drinks I someone flagged up there was a lot of J. Lee stuff going on eBay and I was like

oh shit oh shit here we go again and I bought like a couple of tops and a jacket right I'm wearing that jacket now

it's orange bright fucking orange right I can see that yeah and I'm worried that no one has taken the piss out of it

yeah which makes me think that people are just doing that And I'm worried that no one has taken the piss out of it. Yeah. Which makes me think that people are just doing that themselves. No, but that's the thing, isn't it? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I could get away with it, people would happily take the piss out of it to my face. But since no one's mentioned it, I'm like,

oh, fuck, it's one of those ones where... When I see you, I'll probably will, though. Did you see what Pete's wearing? I probably will. When I see you I probably will you would get involved but you're a peer and I don't value your opinion so that's absolutely fair

Stackers are gerontocracy I find that I'm always quite conscious of the idea that our team at Stackers obviously all of them are a lot younger than us and I'm under no illusions at all that when we're not around they're kind of doing their thing and you know you're probably taking a piss and i've obviously got no problem with that whatsoever but it's kind of interesting isn't it because

what what i don't think what's talked about i said what's not talked about enough i mean there are far more important things to worry about so it's probably why that you know when you're when you're a guy of our age it's actually quite difficult to dress in a way that people aren't going to take the piss out of you because like i'll tell you why because so you can either go down a couple of different routes you can go on the really kind of smart all the time formal i'm almost like a shitty member a shittier member of the peaky blinders and that's a little bit tragic in its own way but also really admin heavy yes because you've got a lot of ironing yeah you've got clean you yeah you've got to try clean your clothes you've got to make sure they

fit you well you know all this kind of stuff goes on and you've and it's really you've probably taken off half hour each morning out of bed just to start that out yeah or you can go on the total like kind of trendy route which obviously comes with its own pitfalls street what the fuck is that 41 year old man doing dressing like that? Or you can go on the complete schlubby kind of Mark Zuckerberg always wear the same thing every day thing, which apparently makes you a complete maniac. So I don't really know if there's many options

that are good options for blokes of our age. It's the least bad option that you go for, I think. Won't anyone think of us for crying out loud i do think obviously we have it great and i'm not complaining because you know there's loads of great things about it and there are far more important things to worry about but for you it's a bit different because you're a little bit more eccentric than me but when i walk down the high street or my menopause yeah it's been going on for quite some time now peri menopause yeah but when you walk down the street looking to go buy some clothes

or you go online to try and find some, I mean, what shop am I supposed to go to? Well, I used to just go, look, I know my size and top, man. There are some less tragic stuff. That's too young, mate. It's not too... If you're just buying daft T-shirts and stuff, like, you just...

You know your size. Buy some T-shirts. Go and get some trousers. You know, their tailored stuff was alright, but then that fucking disappeared, now you've got to do everything online and that's a nightmare. Listen, the three options you've got, formal tragic, trendy tragic, maniac

tragic. You've gone trendy tragic. I've gone trendy tragic. I've kind of gone maniac tragic, and there's no good options here. It's impossible. I've gone mothball eBay tragic. Also, the other thing I've thought is that I'm not the fattest man in the world and nor am I the slimmest.

I don't think anything in Topman fits me anyway. No, you get the biggin' area, don't you? I'm not going in there. I'm not going in the what's it called? The small biggins. Go for the small biggins. What do they call it? High and Mighty or something? High and Mighty. I'm not going in there.

But when you get to What do they call it? High and Mighty or something? High and Mighty. I'm not going there. For real, High and Mighty. But when you get to our edge and you're talking to young people, I was talking to Sarah's niece and nephew, and the nephew's like 18, and I can kind of understand him, but there's a younger one who's about 14, a young lass, uh it's hilarious because she looks exactly like sarah it's really funny she looks like sarah's daughter um and uh i i just feel completely useless to that generation that kind of age so i've got nothing not just that i don't know any of your references i I don't know who Machine Gun Kelly is. I know who he is, but I just don't know what he does.

I just don't know what you're all about. It was only when she said, oh, I've got to do a PowerPoint on Hitler's rise to power. I was like, right, I'm there. Six million unemployed. The collapse of the Renton Mark. The first World War. General love of anti rent mark. The first World War. General love of anti-Semitism.

I had everything. I had it all there. Bang, bang, bang. At the end of that, she just went, Crystal knocked. At the end, she just went, I just want to use your photo. Oh, dear.

So I can do that. So look, if any of you kids are listening, if you need a PowerPoint done about Hitler's rise to power, the Backstairs Intrigue, the Reichstag fire, I'm there. Anything outside of that, nothing. Can you just stop this, please? I'll tip a toe on Robert Peel's corn laws, if you want.

The Peel massacre. The Peel, yes, please, i would like some help with my project did she turn you down or say yeah that'd be great thanks for your help i think she was just confused at the ferocity of which of which i was able to sort of recount it all yeah she she she thought i don't think he's been that energetic for about 15 years what what i thought you were a big um help help kids with their computer man. That was your thing, wasn't it? Well, I mean, the person next door,

his mum texted me going, there's something wrong with the computer at like 10 o'clock on Saturday night. I was like, I'm not going to be that person. I'm not tech support, man. I'll build your computer. I'm not going to fix my terrible work. It's easy for me with my niece and nephew

because one of them is a baby and my niece is six. You'd have to explain who Hitler was first, wouldn't you? Well, I don't do that because she's six. But we should get away with that. She's great at this age

because I can just say to her stuff like, hey, do you know what we should do? And she'll be like, what? And I'll be like, why don't we replace all the food in your mum's cupboards with bogeys? And she'll think it's the funniest thing ever. Oh, that's a nice technique. Do you know what I mean?

Just anything ridiculous like that. Where the punchline is bogeys. Yeah, or you just go, I look in your ear and I can see your brain and your brain's actually a poo. She thinks it's the funniest thing ever. And she's going to grow out of that at some point and then I'm going to be completely bereft. I'll have to move straight on to the nephew he's young completely

disagree yeah that's basically a couple of the questions and when when you job interview here at stack yeah exactly it's your brain or bogeys anyway on that note which while we check pizza brain uh let's take a quick break when we come back, Peter, we are going to do that email that I promised a while back. It's a really good one about, yeah, it's essentially at first glance about a sofa, but it becomes about a lot more than that. So we'll see you just the other side of this.

It's Luke and Pete Shaw. How you doing? It's a Thursday, so we're doing batteries. Oh, yeah. I forgot about batteries. I didn't even pre-prep the batteries before the fucking break. Yes, Lukey Moore falling off the admin mountain. Yes.

Is it a mountain? Just a mountain of paper. Just a mountain of paper. Holy shit. Holy shit. We found three new players last time around, didn't we? We did. Yeah, we did.

All right, actually, yeah. Are you ready with the old search bar? I am ready. Tell people what happens if they haven't heard this before. Just tell them how we do it. I think explaining it diminishes it, to be honest. Batteries. We've all got them.

We've all got them in our lives, unless you're some kind of outdoor woodsman, or woodswoman, or woodsperson. Just find them. Have a look at them, read what the brand is, and if it sounds a bit obscure and a bit cool, send us an email, helloatlookandpeachshow.com. Take a picture and we'll figure out

whether we've featured the brand in question before. That's what we do every Thursday on The Luke and Peach Show. Heather's got in touch. Hello, Heather. Hey-o! I am a long-time listener, first-time emailer, blah, blah, blah, writing to you from interior Alaska. So you could have been, could have been an outdoors person, Heather.

As I struggle through another dark and cold March morning at a balmy minus 17 Fahrenheit, minus 23 Celsius, the remote for the literal light of my life, my 10,000 lux four sun lamp that keeps me sane throughout the winter died. I found these little bra sonics inside. Maybe they are a new player or maybe they are actually incognito tiny brassieres for sound.

Whichever, I hope you are both having a lovely spring in the land that spring is actually a season. Heather, hang in there, mate. I hope you manage to get some batteries for your sun lamp. I hope you don't have the... I mean, presumably if most of the seasons are the same and then there's one season in the middle that's quite warm, presumably you wouldn't get seasonal affective disorder.

You'd just be like, that's just one big season, isn't it, really? Pete, the sun doesn't come up, you fucking idiot. What do you mean? It's dark all the time. That's why she's travelling. Yeah, but in the summer. Yeah, but I mean, it's dark all the time, mate. Yeah, but it's another dark and cold March morning.

It doesn't stay dark, does it? It doesn't have to. I realise there are places in Sweden and places in Norway and places in Finland up the north, that that happens, fine. But that doesn't necessarily have to happen all the way in Alaska. We don't know where Alaska is. We don't know where in Alaska this person is. But we do know where Alaska is.

It's like when I was reading that wrestling card that they had all of the catchphrases of the wrestlers and, like, you know, Macho Man Ravi Savage is like, hey, I'm Macho Man Ravi Savage. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And all the others had all their catchphrases and then General Adnan who says,

untranslatable because it is in Arabic. It's such a 90s thing to do. It's very disrespectful. How are they going to translate it? Oh, wow. Anyway, Heather, I am very sympathetic about your part, even if Pete isn't,

and I hope you get through. Yeah. Pete, it's a mad mad mad place to live depending on exactly where she is in Alaska but I think I'm right in saying it'll be 24 hours darkness for six months of the year and then 24 hours light for six months of the year. I am streaming a webcam

in Alaska let's see if it's dark or whether it's light it's actually quite dark mind you should be shouldn't it? It's about 4am it's dark or whether it's light. Oh yeah, it is actually quite dark. Mind you, should be, shouldn't it? About 4am. It's 3am. I'm in the Lake Hood seaplane base in Anchorage in Alaska and it looks bloody beautiful

to be quite frank. So I can't give Heather good news I'm afraid. So you are the sixth person to send in Brasonics. The most recent of those before you was on March the 30th of last year. Our friend Dean sent them in, Dean Hudson. So keep trying. Sorry about that, not to bring you better news,

but it would be great to know if you've seen a moose as big as the one I was talking about earlier in the week in Alaska and what the most amazing animals you've seen are because I'm led to believe it's an amazing place for that. So hopefully that will be a bit of a salve to the wound that you've not got a new player entering this particular game. Yeah. Sorry, I was just looking at bears on the webcam.

Fair enough. On the webcam, live. That's amazing. Live bears. They always seem to be in frame. It's amazing. It must kind of follow them around or something, but it's wonderful.

Yeah, Brooks Falls in Katmai National Park, Alaska. Interesting. Started in 2021. All right, got a message from Ben. Even the Pete and the Luke I have access to. I had to buy an automated fly spray today and found these beauts. Look like a Duracell, but last like a four well.

F-O-R-E, well. Not sure I've heard of these ones being brought up before. Thank you, Ben, for your four wells from New Zealand. Congratulations to you, Ben. They are indeed a new player, all the way from the South Island of New Zealand. We have never had anyone send four well batteries in to the Luke and Pete show.

That is a new player entering the game. Congratulations. Smashing stuff. Let's move straight on to Aaron. Hello, Aaron from Louisiana. I've got a new scale in the mail today. A lot of people with these scales. I hope they're using them for good, not evil.

I was blessed with these bad boys. Now, I don't know whether they've been submitted already, but here's hoping. I'd love to have an addition added to the ever-growing list of out there brands. Love the banter. Take care, guys. Kendall, do we indulge in banter?

Kendall is the battery brand you need to be searching. Kendall, listen, you're going to have to stop wasting our time, Aaron, because Kendall, this is the 14th time that Kendals have been sent in. They've been sent in as recently as February and twice in January of this year. So there's new players and there's ones that just miss out being new players and then there's this.

I'm afraid it really is as stark as that for you, Aaron. Not a new player. Aaron, sorry. Get back to, yeah, get back to Church Point. Get back to Elton. Get back to Bazil, Eunice, Williams, Evangelich. It's just names, isn't it? New Orleans.

Outside Lafayette, there's just loads of reddle. It's just names. They've just taken a load of people's names and went, well, that'll be the town. I find it,

do you think it's interesting that like, in the US, they had so many new places to name, but then they just named them after existing places. I guess it's as love letters

to their previous towns or whatever, but it's a bit of a shame, isn't it? It feels like it could have just been a little bit imaginative. I don't know, I quite like it. I love a lafayette or a baton rouge they're crackers yeah yeah i'd love to go there i've never been anywhere around

there it'd be great um anyway thanks for sending your battery brands in we'll do some more of those next week i do want to do this email that i've been pre-promoting peter that's okay it's quite a long one but i'll try and get through it as coherently as i can bang it it's from our friend uh actually i can't say his name so i'm not going to do that uh you know who you are uh and it starts a little bit like this it says hello to luke and the pete your recent discussion of pete's misadventure with a tv stand on facebook marketplace reminded me of the time the wife i have access to and i chose to turn informants for the united states postal inspection service wow at the time we were living in williamsburg virginia where we met and the home of colonel sorry colonial williamsburg the place

many american children are brought to during the miserably hot and humid virginia summer to see how colonists lived you can shoot a musket spin yarn step in a frankly astounding amount of horse manure and possibly contract a mosquito-borne illness or suffer heat stroke just like the early american colonialists colonialists um the wi-fi have access to and i were trying to sell our white leather couch brackets i know on a marketplace app called Let Go when we received an answer from a potential buyer in North Carolina, which is less than three hours away. I was a lowly line cook at the time

and my wife had just begun her studies to become a counselor and the dogs we have access to weren't really pulling their weight in terms of contributing. So the $750 we were hoping to get from the sale was an unexpected boost for us and when the potential buyer told us he would cover the transportation and throw on an extra 500 for the trouble of us being available when it got picked up it seemed even better it was agreed he would mail us a certified check for the amount in question and when the funds had cleared a mover

would come back to pick up the couch imagine Imagine our surprise then when a week later, a certified check for $15,000 from the Bank of Southern California appeared at our house with a letter from our potential buyer. The letter informed us that he, the buyer, had been forced to deploy early to his army posting. So it's a star, isn't it? Yeah, and as such was arranging the move of household uh remotely he asked us to do him the favor of paying the moving company for the job on his behalf and for our trouble would pay us an additional 750 bringing the total up to two thousand dollars which would have been more than a month's rent and utilities at the time i was to deposit the check and pay thirteen thousand dollars to the moving company and keep

the other two for myself at this point confronted with a check from a bank and the buyer now unable to be contacted or verified by means anything else other than email, both I and the wife I have access to began to grow suspicious. But our desire to be rid of this object and the possibility of putting a bit away for a rainy day since we were moving to a much smaller apartment in DC were strong, so I decided to see what my local bank branch thought of it. I spoke to the bank manager and she told me immediately it was likely a fraudulent check and then indeed confirmed there was no Bank of Southern California. She offered to dispose of it or told me that occasionally state or federal government offices offered rewards for turning in

checks or scams that led to fraud indictments we figured why not after calling the fraud hotline for the virginia department of commerce we were directed to the local office of the united states postal inspection service or us piss um i know it seems easy to take the piss out of them it is they are basically the u.s government equivalent of the europa conference league they did however seem excited i've been able to make actual contact with the buyer as we had texted a few times and asked me to come to the office to file a report after taking down the report the agent in charge asked if i'd be willing to further assist them in their case as i was not the first to bring this activity to their attention so after a brief call to my wife i told her we

were going to be part of a sting and made sure she was okay with that as she agreed and then we made contact with my buyer via email to confirm deposit of the check and settled in to wait for the reply which would hopefully help them in some way and result in our collecting the reward the agents explained to me that often the scheme is to get the seller to deposit the check and then pay out the funds as soon as the account is credited before the fraud is noticed they said it's a fairly common grift and can be run from almost anywhere in the country after waiting about an hour they asked me to get in contact with them to see how he or she re-established contact and they sent me on my way sadly the individual never contacted us again and the case was never closed ending my career as a federal informant hopefully for good

but on the positive side the wife and i were rewarded for our honesty and were given a check for 250 from uncle Sam and the letter of appreciation from the Postmaster General. From the Bank of California. Yeah.

We were never able to sell the bloody couch and after staring down the six flights of stairs it would have taken to move the nine foot monstrosity

I pushed it out of our third floor window. Railing over the railing after warning our downstairs neighbours and crucially while

the Wi-Fi I have access to wasn't home. It's basically what I did with my Christmas tree. So good on you. railing over the railing after warning our downstairs neighbours and crucially while the wifi I have access to wasn't home it's basically what I did with my Christmas tree so good on you keep up the great work

appreciate the shows I should probably disguise my name in some way to prevent a backlash from the hardened and still at large fraudster

but Pete will probably read it out anyway all the best Anonymous so that is John Smith in Virginia no I'm only joking

in Little Bartley or I forgot'm only joking in Little Bartley Domingo in Little Oakley these grifts are still very much prevalent whenever there's more money on offer than something is worth or whenever there's like for your trouble kind of thing it's always just bullshit mate

nobody does that I mean I probably would do that probably people think I'm dodgy. But yeah, people really do not go the extra mile and give you extra money. Didn't you end up giving something away for free because you scratched it? That wasn't at the TV stand?

Yeah, TV stand on the Fissett Marketplace. But that was for free. You lost your bottle, didn't you? You lost your bottle, mate. Absolutely lost my bottle. But it reminds me of... I just like the idea of writing a check for a bank that just doesn't exist.

It's wonderful, eh? When the Americans were moving out, like transitioning the post-war kind of peace democracy in sort of inaction that was the Japanese, the island of Japan. Obviously, after the war, the Allied or certainly the US service people were over there and occupying it. And people were just on the fucking grift all the time.

A lot of people in poverty and stuff. And a lot of ex-American Marines and stuff would just make up fucking... Because converting yen to dollar was so rare and so difficult, people would just make these fake cheques and just sort of go, it's the Bank of Texas. Here's a $30,000 cheque for the Bank of Texas and they'd just sell it to a Yakuza member or a gangster

for like 10% of the actual financial worth of that 30 grand. And they'd know that it was fake, but they understood that they could sell it onto someone else for the same amount, for more money, because yen to dollar conversions were illegal at the time. So it was kind of really... So dollars was obviously the only stable financial token around. And it was just really funny that

people would just make up these banks and sell sell their own checks sell this to your niece for her homework she'd be loving that and the only

and the only person who gets screwed it's like it's like airline seats it's a Ponzi scheme you know the first person who gets them

he enjoys the sit down and the next person enjoys the sit down and lay back and then the person in the back of the plane they get fucked yeah

the trick is to not be the person in the final row yeah exactly the person holding the check at the end of it plane, they get fucked. Yeah, the trick is to not be the person in the final row. Yeah, exactly. The person holding the cheque at the end of it, a £30,000 cheque that's absolutely worthless, they're the ones who are in trouble. But there we go.

Fantastic story. And I hope you're safe in your location right now. Yeah, give us an update on how it's going and witness protection after that. Exactly. High stakes fraud investigation states witness. Let's get out of here Peter.

We'll come back on Monday of course. We hope people have a lovely weekend don't we? Just how good a weekend do you hope people have Pete? Medium.

Easter isn't it? Exactly. Yeah. Probably a lot of you will have an extra day off so don't go crazy. Don't hurt yourselves. Alright?

Good tip. Coming from you that is. In that jumper. Don't hurt yourselves. All right? Good tip. It's coming from you, that is. You're in that jumper. See you next time. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.